Dream Matches — page 12

Featuring a very rare “Sabu in WCW” match!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have some classic WCW stuff, including a bout featuring that very weird cup of coffee SABU of all people had with the company in 1995! I always remember reading about it, but had never seen it.

We start off, however, with a classic Steiner Brothers match shortly before their break-up, as they take on Mortis & Wrath on WCW Saturday Night! Then it’s Sabu vs. Harry Dean Baker on WCW Prime (a show I don’t remember existing)… followed by the SUPER SHOCKMASTER, who was a brief attempt at saving the “Shockmaster” gimmick by repackaging Fred Ottman as a nasty heel. It did not work.

Following that, it’s the battle of the failed 1991 WWF gimmicks as The Dragon (Ricky Steamboat) battles Col. Mustafa (the Iron Sheik)! And finally it’s a late-stage WCW bout as my Sean O’Haire watching continues, with him & Chuck Palumbo taking on Lance Storm & Mike Awesome!

THE STEINER BROTHERS (Rick & Scott, w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. MORTIS & WRATH (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Saturday Night, Nov. 1st 1997)
* A potentially good match, but on Saturday Night it’s always iffy if you’re gonna see any kind of effort. A solid two minutes is just the heels’ walk to the ring (keep in mind the aisle is like 30 feet long). It’s a weird era for the Steiners, as Scott is INCREDIBLY juiced to his Big Poppa Pump levels, but still has long black hair… but an evil parallel universe goatee and a shiny black singlet.

Ever see an Ultimate Warrior match and wondered what it would be like if he was even WORSE? Have I got the match for you today!

Welcome back to another Dream Matches column! This week I have a column of sheer insanity for you, as we start off with the infamous Blade Runners (Sting & the Ultimate Warrior as paralyzingly-bad bodybuilders in their rookie year) taking on Tracy Smothers and Ricky Gibson, the chubby brother of Robert! Some see the most horrible double-team move in the entire history of wrestling! I dare you!

More weird tag team action, as the random duo of useless failed gimmicks “Double J” Jesse James & Rockabilly are thrown together and sent against “the other two Los Boriquas”- you know, not the hairy one or Savio. Yeah, THIS is the formation of the New Age Outlaws, more or less. Then it’s over to WCW as the Japanese Invasion continues, with Masahiro Chono & Kensuke Sasaki take on the NASTY BOYS of all people, while of course a better worker than all four sits in the crowd watching her husband work.

And finally, on recommendation I check out Don Leo Jonathan, a 6’6″ worker DECADES ahead of his time, taking on Strong Kobayashi in the best match I’ve ever seen from the 1970s!

THE BLADE RUNNERS (Rock & Sting) vs. TRACY SMOTHERS & RICKY GIBSON:
(Mid-South, NE State University, Tahlequah- March 3rd 1986)
* Oh yeah, it’s BLADE RUNNERS time! This is of course Sting & the Ultimate Warrior as ultra-roided (like, even more than they were later!), green-as-grass rookies wearing lipstick and dark eyeshadow in some kind of KISS/New Wave style (I was expecting more of a “Road Warriors” thing). And their opponents are also wild- future legendary Southern also-ran Tracy Smothers teaming with Robert Gibson…’s brother, Ricky. Ricky could not possibly look more jobbery in his red singlet & dad-bod (he even stands all weird, with his arms held out awkwardly at his side), while Tracy is way more ripped than I’ve ever seen him before, wearing white trunks.

Hey all! Welcome to a different kind of Dream Matches column, as I work something our own Darryl Stewart suggested- matches between the same wrestlers, but over the years in different companies! Woo! Kick cancer’s ass, Darryl!

I’ll see what I can find on free to watch sites, as I don’t have the WWE Network. Thankfully a bunch seems to be up and posted.

WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE:
REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. ULTIMATE DRAGON (w/ Sonny Onoo):
(WCW Nitro, Aug. 8th 1996)
* We come to WCW Nitro in 1996, shortly after the “Lawn Dart” incident (mentioned on commentary by Bischoff & Heenan), with Rey defending the Cruiserweight Title against a then-unproven “Ultimate” Dragon, who has a full face mask and sprays red mist in the pre-match. They’d apparently fought at Hog Wild only 2 days earlier, which is unmentioned here. Rey’s in blue & white while Dragon’s in aquamarine with a lot less detail than I’m used to. It’s weird seeing Rey in his pre-roided phase at this point.

Truly the most shameful waste of a main event gimmick ever.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have some truly bizarre stuff for you today, starting off with the most amazing jobber match ever- the One Man Gang fighting a repackaged Ron Reis… as the SUPER GIANT NINJA! Then come see just how bad the WWF’s “Cookie Cutter Style” of the Johnny Ace Era just destroyed guys, as Roddy Piper’s lackey Sean O’Haire, once the hottest rookie in the biz, takes on Chris Benoit on SmackDown!

Then it’s one of those “WTF? That happened?” classics you get from WCW’s “New Japan Invasion”, where main eventer Masa Chono and Mr. Fuji’s former tag team partner from the ’80s slum it on the D-show against Harlem Heat. And then we have “The Narcissist” Lex Luger near the end of his WWF heel run as he faces “The Rocket” Owen Hart in a midcard quickie with a rare “he has to wear a forearm guard” gimmick, and finally… a JTTS DREAM MATCH, as Virgil takes on Paul Roma in the prelude to SummerSlam ’91!

WCW UNITED STATES TITLE:
THE ONE MAN GANG vs. THE SUPER GIANT NINJA:
(WCW Saturday Night, Jan. 20th 1996)
* Oh my god YESSSSSSSSSS!! I’ve only barely heard of the Super Giant Ninja, and I’ve never seen him before. So he’s Ron Reis in Mortal Kombat cosplay, having been already repackaged after fans sh*t all over The Yeti (probably due to him & Loch Ness DP-ing Hulk Hogan in the goofiest costumes ever). He apparently appeared as “The Yetti” once in this look, but has now changed his name again. He’s in black gear with a yellow/red Scorpion/Sub-Zero chestpiece, and a mask that covers his entire face, not even leaving his eyes. Oh, and a three-foot “ponytail” coming out of the top. The Gang is actually U.S. Champion for his weird forgotten run.

It’s a very special Dream Matches column for you tonight, as I review a great 30-minute NWA Title defense by Ric Flair against Jumbo Tsuruta from 1982! Jumbo’s one of Japan’s biggest legends and was put over hugely by various NWA Champions during their title defenses, so it’s time to see what Flair can get out of him!

Since that’s such a long match, I’ll add a few interesting shorter ones- chief among them is the debut of Mark Jindrak & Sean O’Haire on WCW TV, as they take on Rey Mysterio & Juventud Guerrera- the Filthy Animals! And then we finally get another FAT MAN STAND-OFF in this column, as Vader comes to WWF Shotgun Saturday Night to face The Sultan! And a super-quick TV job featuring Jushin Liger hitting WCW to wrestle Eddie Guerrero! And finally, it’s one of only two TV matches for Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, as he faces jobber Ron Cumberledge!

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
RIC FLAIR vs. JUMBO TSURUTA:
(All Japan Pro Wrestling, June 8th 1982)
* I’ve heard these matches are all FANTASTIC, so I’ll grab the World Title match, which is quite highly rated. These two fought a bunch, as the NWA worked with AJPW at this time, leading to Flair as travelling champion taking on the Ace. Both guys come out to what sounds like anime music, though Flair has his ’80s mane and a powder blue robe, with trunks to match. Jumbo is apparently debuting his black trunks & boots look, meant to evoke Lou Thesz, which sends the signal to the fans that this is the future “Ace”. Flair’s a bit doughy at this point, but has a really broad chest compared to later on (he was a bodybuilder in the ’70s, surprisingly)- Jumbo’s a bit taller but not extremely so. Man, the NWA Title was TINY at this point.

There’s something to be said when a guy is still talked about as a great “Shoulda-Been” almost 20 years after he stopped wrestling.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Today, I have a very “2001 WCW” pairing, as a washed-up, immobile Lex Luger has to lead hot rookie Sean O’Haire through a match! Then I check out some Rockers/Orient Express stuff… but 3-4 years before their WWF feuds, as it’s Badd Company vs. The Midnight Rockers in the AWA! Come see the double-teams and a very young Shawn & Marty, as well as their “infuriated Southern babyface” energy! Then it’s not one, but TWO matches of High Energy versus the Beverly Brothers! I can barely contain my excitement!

LEX LUGER vs. SEAN O’HAIRE:
(WCW Nitro, 3/5/2001)
* I decided to try and find more old Sean O’Haire stuff to see if the wild potential we’d all guessed for him was actually there in the first place. So naturally the first thing I found is a 2001 Lex Luger match, lol. At this point, O’Haire was getting a lot of hype online- with a FANTASTIC look (check that 2001-era spiky hair and chin beard!) and Jeff Hardy’s Swanton, he seemed supernatural and like a “sure thing”. Here he’s in shiny black shorts with blue fire on them, while Lex is in the same-old black trunks. The two are about the same size, which is part of why O’Haire seemed so awesome- if he was in AEW today, he’d be near Lance Archer’s height and would be flipping and flying around.

Not the most notable match involving Nash & Wrath, but good enough!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time the headliner is yet another in my “Best of Mortis” run, but features him & Wrath following up their big PPV win over the Faces of Fear against the WCW Tag Team Champions themselves, Scott Hall & Kevin Nash! Come see the Outsiders at their snarkiest and most immature while still trying to put over their opponents just a tad.

Also, remember “Can’t Miss” prospect Sean O’Haire? Well come see me check out just how much potential he really had as he takes on former partner Mark Jindrak on WCW Thunder in 2001! Then  it’s a pair of squash matches featuring “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. jobber Paul Roma, but separated by four years- in 1985 at the beginning of Savage’s run and 1989 when he’s the “Macho King”! Then finally I have one last 3-Count match, as they defend the WCW Hardcore Title (yes, all three of them) against Silver King, El Dandy and Jeremy Lopez (… wait, who?)!

WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
THE OUTSIDERS (Scott Hall & Kevin Nash, w/ Syxx) vs. WRATH & MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Nitro, Sept. 15th 1997)
* A very interesting one, as Nash is responsible for a particularly notable victory over Wrath to hamper his push in a year or so, but at this time it was more gonna be an easy win for the nWo. Nash is well into his “lol I’m just gonna make everything a big joke” face, making silly faces and doing funny dances on the way to the ring. This is the night after Fall Brawl, where Curt Hennig turned nWo and betrayed the Horsemen- the theory goes from the commentators that the Outsiders will be a little sore, but they don’t play that up at all. Wrath & Mortis beat the Faces of Fear in a surprisingly good tag match on the same show, at least showing that one of those random feudless midcard bouts on PPV actually LEAD TO SOMETHING!

Lord Alfred: “They made a fashion statement there, but I don’t think anybody was really listening, do you?”
Monsoon: “They left a lot of room for improvement, didn’t they!?”
-Commentary during the match below.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have some interesting stuff, led by a pair of matches between the WWF Tag Champions Money Inc. against High Energy! I also wanted to find more Young Stallions stuff, but I only got a squash they have… but it’s against “Iron” Mike Sharpe and SONNY BEACH! Woo- UWF crossover! Now I demand a Jim Powers cookie!

And then I have a bout featuring RIKIDOZAN of all people, who has a tiny bit of YouTube stuff available! Come see the Japanese legend take on Haystacks friggin’ Calhoun in a pair of ultra-clipped matches! And finally, it’s Mortis & Wrath vs. La Parka & Psychosis, in one of those midcard WCW matches full of crazy spots and huge bumping between guys who are never gonna get a major push.

WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
MONEY INC. (Ted DiBiase & Irwin R. Schyster, w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. HIGH ENERGY (“The Rocket” Owen Hart & Koko B. Ware):
(WWF Prime Time Wrestling, July 20th 1992)
* A rare title shot for High Energy, as the parachute-pants duo near the bottom of the tag ranks take on Money Inc.. Owen’s in purple and Koko’s in yellow.

Shockingly judging by these physiques, both of these guys are still alive today.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have a big assortment of tag team matches, plus a couple of random one-off solo bouts! First off, it’s a very “1988 WWF” match, as the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition face off against The Young Stallions on WWF Superstars! Then a 1993 match where the new Headshrinkers team faces off against the “1992 Job Squad” of Virgil & “El Matador” Tito Santana! And it’s nearly a ten minute match! Over to WCW, as my “Best of Mortis” series continues, as he tries to win the TV Title from Ultimo Dragon on a 1997 Nitro! A request, as Rick “The Model” Martel faces off against a jobber Paul Roma, who is REALLY gunning for a push, judging by his effort here! And finally, a throwaway WCW Worldwide match, as Vicious & Delicious (Scott Norton & Buff Bagwell) take on The Southern Posse!

DEMOLITION (Ax & Smash, w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. THE YOUNG STALLIONS (Paul Roma & Jim Powers):
(WWF Superstars, June 11th 1988)
* I’ve seen very little of the TV from this time period, but this should be fun. The Stallions were at the bottom of the babyface team pecking order, looking like IMMENSE dorks with their generic “Yay!” personalities. Demolition are the Tag Champs at this point (having beaten Strike Force at WrestleMania IV), but it’s non-title.

Sid: A 10/10 in “Look” if there ever was one, with physical charisma to match… it’s a shame he never figured out the other stuff.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have a wild assortment for you today, as I cover WWF, WCW, and even a really cool old-school match from Japan in 1974!

We start off with Sid’s big 1995 return, as he takes on newbie Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw in one of those bouts that is everything Sid is- quick, not highly-rated, yet completely awesome and drives the fans wild. Then it’s the strangest Clash of the JTTS Guys ever, as Virgil faces “El Matador” Tito Santana in the friendliest match ever in Spain! More of Buddy Landel’s weird WWF run, as he gets a jobber squash against a young Matt Hardy and showcases his stiff striking skills! Then it’s a Battle of the Brits in WCW, as Dave Taylor faces off against “British Bulldog” Davey-Boy Smith.

And finally, we hit Japan in 1974, as a 23-year old Jumbo Tsuruta with all of one year in the business faces the NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jack Brisco in a title fight! Come see just HOW GOOD Jumbo was with only a year in the business, and how much the ’70s style resembled the ’80s NWA one.

SID vs. JUSTIN “HAWK” BRADSHAW (w/ Uncle Zebekiah):
(WWF RAW, 1995-ish)
* Okay, HERE’s a wild one- Sid, freshly returned as a babyface out to help Shawn Michaels now that the Ultimate Warrior’s gone again, and he’s up against midcarder Bradshaw, not QUITE as protected as he’d be even a couple of years later. And in a perfect expression of Sid’s power, his borderline S-Tier charisma has the entire crowd eating out the palm of his hand, which tended to happen every time he debuted, even though he had weak promos and worse in-ring skill.

Booker T’s 1998-ish WCW run is actually very emblematic of the company to me- very few guys had quite that variety of quality midcard matches with multiple opponents and tons of different finishes as him- it’s part of what got him “World Champion” over. He was a LOT more agile than he was in the WWF, too.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have more of Mortis, as he takes on Booker T on the upswing of his WCW career for the TV Title! This one is primarily notable for an absolutely INSANE  screwed up landing that could have killed a man right there on the spot- a good sign of how quickly a spot can turn deadly by accident.

Also, we have a rare old Hardy vs. Hardy match, as Matt & Jeff face each other in the North Carolina indies in 1998, right before their WWF run began! Come watch Jeff use his proto-WWF offense already, while Matt’s still in “Copy Lucha & Japan” mode! Then it’s a rare one-off, as BUDDY LANDEL returns to the WWF in 1999 for one night in a jobber squash taking on Triple H himself on Shotgun Saturday Night! Then it’s Rick Martel in his WCW renaissance, but in a jobber match on Saturday Night as he takes on Hardbody Harrison! And finally, a strange throwaway bout as The Public Enemy take on WWF cast-offs Davey-Boy Smith & Jim Neidhart in 1999 WCW!

As always, all the bouts here are found on YouTube.

WCW TV TITLE:
BOOKER T vs. MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Monday Nitro, Jan. 19th 1998)
* Booker T on the beginning of his hot streak takes on Mortis, who by this point is pretty well a JTTS. Booker, in white tights with orange fire, does the “WCW Thing” of screaming random sh*t into the camera as he comes down the aisle. He’s a bit more lithe and athletic at this point in his career- he hadn’t gone Full Roid for a WWF physique yet. He is INCREDIBLY over, though- the huge arena is full of people raising the roof for him. So of course it took forever to actually push him right.

Seriously though, this is an ALL-TIME wrestling look and it’s a shame they wasted it on a “Midcard JTTS” act.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a classic case of a WCW “throw together two good workers and give them time!” throwaway match, as Mortis (Chris Kanyon) faces Juventud Guerrera on WCW Saturday Night! Then it’s the end of Rick “The Model” Martel’s WWF run as he faces “The Rocket” Owen Hart in one of Owen’s last babyface matches! The more WCW goodness as a rookie Tokyo Magnum on his learning excursion faces El Dandy!

Then we get another Steiner Brothers/Fire & Ice “just launch each other around the ring” match, and finally, an all-time dream bout of the Beverly Brothers facing the jobber Dream Team of Virgil and “El Matador” Tito Santana! Read on!

MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg) vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA:
(WCW Saturday Night, Jan. 3rd 1998)
* Hey, an interesting one, actually! Kanyon in his “Mortis” identity vs. Juvie! This is back when Juventud was still masked (here his mask is an odd dark salmon color) and was kinda/sorta a job guy but sometimes not really? WCW’s midcard was strange because guys would alternate wins & losses randomly. Mortis looks AWESOME and holds up even more in retrospect- 99% of guys don’t look half as cool. The size difference here is profound, too.

Rick Martel didn’t have the best matches during his WWF career, but is often a fountain of surprisingly-good midcard bouts!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have an assortment of WWF & WCW stuff, headlined by Rick “The Model” Martel returning to the WWF to face rookie sensation the 1-2-3 Kid! Rick’s well-known renaissance in WCW a few years later actually has some precedent here, given Martel’s showing.

Also featured is the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express showing up in early nWo-era WCW to take on Fire & Ice! It’s Jimmy Wang Yang’s debut in WCW, as Yun Yang faces off against the KISS Demon! A trios match from hell sees “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan & The Bushwhackers take on The Repo Man & The Beverly Brothers! And finally I find two matches featuring a name that’s intrigued me since I saw him like 30 years ago- The Intruder! Who is a masked jobber in a pair of squash tag matches four years apart, as he’s annihilated by both Demolition and the Nasty Boys!

RICK “THE MODEL” MARTEL vs. THE 1-2-3 KID:
(All-American Wrestling, Oct. 3rd 1993)
* Rick is freshly back in the company at this point “after modeling in Europe”, while the Kid is still a newbie in his blue singlet. Martel’s run at this point is seemingly just to put over some of the newer generation guys, but you gotta beat some dudes to regain credibility before you can do that, so this will be interesting!

Possibly the greatest variance in quality between a wrestler’s visual appearance/gimmick and their in-ring ability.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have some extremely rare stuff for you tonight, as the dreaded “1993 WWF” rears its ugly head once more, giving us a pair of beauties- Mr. Perfect vs. Papa Shango and The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Bastian Booger! Talk about main events in any arena in the country!

Then it’s a look at a crazy WCW rookie team I’d somehow managed to miss entirely- our own Oprah Noodlemantra turned me on to The Pit Crew- Dale “Demon” Torborg & Chad Fortune as guys decked out as WCW racing team pit crew guys. Naturally, their opposition is the Dream Matches favorite squad of Mean Mike & Tough Tom- Disorderly Conduct!

Then it’s the most “1996 WWF” match I could find, as it’s Jim Cornette dream match Barry Windham vs. Tony Anthony… except it’s the worst incarnations of both men- The Stalker vs. T.L. Hopper, in The Stalker’s debut! Then it’s more WCW jobberhood, as Al Green gets set up against Lash LeRoux! And finally, one of those great WCW weirdo mismatch bouts that inspired this column in the first place, as High Voltage face WCW’s lowest-tier luchadores- Ciclope & Galaxy!

MR. PERFECT vs. PAPA SHANGO:
(WWF Mania, March 5th, 1993)
* One more from the semi-short run of Papa Shango, where he faces a rising Mr. Perfect. Shango had by this point been jobbing all over the house show scene to guys like Undertaker & Bob Backlund, but was beating El Matador & Typhoon around the horn as well.

Always interesting how Jericho, who looks like a normal-sized wrestler today, looks noticeably smaller than Mr. Perfect, whose WWF career was held back by his comparatively small size.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! We start off with a double-whammy, as there’s a pair of Chris Jericho vs. Curt Hennig matches from late-90s WCW! Hennig’s past his prime and Jericho wasn’t “made” yet, but see what these two can get going. Then we go to mid-90s WWF, as “The Narcissist” Lex Luger and “El Matador” Tito Santana fill TV time as Lex’s WWF career starts off! Then the Steiner Brothers go on a tear in 1998 WCW as they take on the nWo bottom-tier squad of Konnan & Vincent!

Then it’s a very “1990s WCW TV” match, as Scott Norton faces jobber Jim Powers! And finally, a “Throwaway Saturday Night Trios Match” starring Juventud Guerrera, La Parka & Silver King vs. Super Calo, Hector Garza & Lizmark Jr.! Which is interesting mainly because it has a REALLY awkward bit thanks to a mid-match injury and some improv.

CURT HENNIG (w/ Ravishing Rick Rude) vs. CHRIS JERICHO:
(WCW Nitro, Dec. 29th 1997)
* The post-Starrcade doldrums of WCW are here! Hennig faces off against Cruiserweight star Jericho. Jericho at this point was still his Generic Peppy Babyface incarnation, but was far less manic than when he came down to that Mammoth song, using the “Evenflow” ripoff and coming down with… this odd kinda random grin on his face. Like he’s being sarcastic a bit? It’s really weird and hard to read. He’s in black with yellow lightning bolts, while Hennig’s in blue.

That’s right- you know it’s a good day when BASTIAN BOOGER is featured in the article!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have another doozy from WWF Mania, as their featured match is Bastian Booger vs. KOKO B. WARE, at this point a member of High Energy in the world’s most ridiculous pants. Then it’s the No-Limit Soldiers/West Texas Rednecks feud continuing in WCW, as Redneck leader Curt Hennig takes on the Power Plant jobber Chase Tatum, now a white-boy rap fan. Then it’s 3-Count vs. Disorderly Conduct, as the DC boys continue jobbing to every team coming down the pipeline!

And try to control your excitement as “Squire” Dave Taylor faces wunderkind rookie Prince Iaukea on a Spring Break Nitro while the cameras ignore them in favor of nWo stuff! Then back to the WWF as The Blue Blazer (Owen Hart as a JTTS) takes on The Warlord of the Powers of Pain- mini-star vs. tag guy! It’s actually up in the air who might win! And finally, a double-whammy dream match as HUGH MORRUS faces RICK FULLER on two separate occasions!

KOKO B. WARE vs. BASTIAN BOOGER:
(WWF Mania, April 16th 1994)
* Man, what fresh hell is THIS? Booger vs. a tag wrestler? Apparently this is Booger’s last televised match in the company, too- he even gets the “already in the ring” deal.

Nothing says “Dream Matches” like the Ugandan Giant!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, we take a look at Jake Roberts vs. Kamala on Saturday Night’s Main Event in 1987! Then it’s a double-whammy of a generic TV match that would be a big Dream Match only three years later- Bland babyface Chris Jericho vs. Bland excursion-era Yuji Nagata on WCW TV in two separate meaningless matches! Scott Norton, brand new to WCW, takes on Tom “Z-Man” Zenk! The Smoking Gunns make their debut on WWF television, taking on the horrifyingly-bad duo of Damian Demento & The Brooklyn Brawler (poor Damian!)! Then it’s the Headshrinkers taking on another makeshift team- Bob Backlund and “El Matador” Tito Santana! And finally “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. The Repo Man in a throwaway “Wait, these guys were still around in early 1993?” match!

JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS vs. KAMALA (w/ Mr. Fuji & Kim Chee):
(WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event, 1987)
* A YouTube video less than 10 minutes and it’s Jake/Kamala- I can see the screwjob coming a mile away, but still. They’re doing a “black guy is terrified of snakes” bit with Kamala, about which Gene scolds Fuji for signing the match, but Fuji (Kamala’s new manager here) says it won’t be an issue. Gene noticeably shaking the microphone while looking at Damien is a great bit of business- what a pro. This is shortly after the Honky Tonk Man blasted Jake with a real guitar on the Snake Pit, absolutely DESTROYING him legit (and holy god does that look bad). Jake’s got black tights with a blue snake graphic around them.

“Mom, can we see Ric Flair?”
“We have Ric Flair at home.”

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Today, we’ve got a wild mish-mash of WWF stuff, as we get the weird time when Buddy Landel was a regular WWF guy until an ice patch, not his own demons, caught up with him! And Buddy gets a shot against the WWF Champion, Bret Hart!

Then it’s the true debut of “Team Extreme”, as Matt Hardy takes on Essa Rios (w/ Lita), and Essa’s had enough of his manager! Then we have Marty Jannetty vs. The Repo Man as Marty gets ready to face Shawn Michaels at the Royal Rumble! There’s also an interesting jobber match, as the Steiner Brothers take on Al Green and a very young Mike Awesome! Vincent vs. Damian on WCW Saturday Night, as they continue to give VINCENT of all people a mini-push on that show!  Then it’s one of those throwaway Nitro spotfest matches, as Psychosis, La Parka & El Dandy take on future Dragon Gate guys CIMA Nobunaga, Tokyo Magnum & Judo Suwa!

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. BUDDY LANDEL:
(WWF Mania, Jan. 15th 1996)
* Yes, it’s the hilariously short time BUDDY LANDEL was in the WWF- an ill-timed injury slipping on ice ended this, what could have been his most lucrative run ever. Though he jobbed to Ahmed Johnson in like 45 seconds on PPV, so I don’t think they had high hopes for him. His “Ric Flair Wannabe” gimmick was in full effect, with fancy robes and he even used Flair’s WWF entrance music! This is actually taped before Buddy’s injury and aired after it- he was only in one-off WWF matches after this.

The Battle Royal: in an era of jobber vs. jobber matches making up almost all TV wrestling, this iwas the only way to get to see a TON of big stars in one place!

It’s another Dream Matches column! This time I find a Battle Royal from 1992 with a very unexpected victor! A 40-man battle royal with an incredible SEVENTEEN jobbers getting paydays, and extended runs by guys like Kato and a beyond-done Texas Tornado! Read on!

I also find some disparate stuff- Crush vs. Damian Demento from a 1992 WWF Mania, as I find an incredible smorgasbord of horrible low-grade matches on that program! Essa Rios vs. Jeff Hardy from 2000, as the Hardyz push REALLY starts to get in gear and “Team Extreme” is ready to form! WCW midcard glory as Glacier faces Lash Leroux! Then it’s a request, as we see a very young MIKE AWESOME in late ’80s WCW, as he faces the “Z-Man” Tom Zenk! And finally, some throwaway lucha stuff as Juventud Guerrera & Super Calo face Silver King & El Dandy in a match that ends in a REAL mess of miscommunication!

BATTLE ROYAL:
(Bret Hart, The British Bulldog, Sgt. Slaughter, Rick “The Model” Martel, “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, I.R.S., The Nasty Boys, “El Matador” Tito Santana, “Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich, Virgil, High Energy, Skinner, The Beverly Brothers, The Berzerker, Kato, Jim Powers, Barry Horowitz, Jumping Jim Brunzell, Duane Gill, Joe Milano, Rick Johnson, John/Tom Star, J.K. Goodman, Chico Martinez, Bob Bradley, Bruce Mitchell, Bob Knight, Terry Davis, Joe McMullen, Al Tucker, Barry Hardy, Nick Danger, Scott Palontonio?)
(WWF Prime Time, July 6th 1992)
* Okay, so while Scott Keith HATES Battle Royals, I LOVE them. I mean, in an era where your weekly main event was like Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Koko B. Ware, seeing THIRTY GUYS in one match? That was incredible! Plus it was fun to see guys go out almost in the exact order of importance. This one’s a real mish-mash of the most “1992” acts possible, including Kato as a singles act, the Beverlies, High Energy & Skinner. I don’t recognize most of the seventeen (!) jobbers, but there’s a pudgy short guy in a red singlet who is AMAZINGLY bad-looking, and Johnson is some huge, ripped dude. Bruce & Bob look like a tag team in matching black tights & white boots. LOL some asshole fan on the right is grabbing all the babyfaces by the arm and not letting go, resulting in a bunch of dudes (Virgil, Kerry) spinning around, probably giving him an earful.

Finally- I’ve found more Berzerker matches to watch! And against VIRGIL, no less!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I’ve got some wild stuff today- Virgil vs. The Berzerker in late 1992! A heel Glacier vs. Sick Boy in 1998 WCW Nitro! Repo Man continues his undercard heel run against JTTS legend Koko B. Ware in 1993! Poor “Squire” Dave Taylor has to face rookie Chase Tatum on a D-show! Then it’s ERIK WATTS vs. Silver King in 1998 WCW! Finally, it’s a pair of Wrath vs. Al Green squashes in the last months of ’98, and an all-time dream match caps us off- The Disciple versus LIGHTNING FOOT, Jerry Flynn!

THE BERZERKER vs. VIRGIL:
(WWF Prime Time, Dec. 28th 1992)
* This is way late in the Berzerker’s run, as he has no manager (having dropped Mr. Fuji). Virgil’s in white & black striped tights, and is the company’s resident JTTS. However, he seems to get a REALLY good reaction here, with fans noticeably jumping up and cheering. The size difference here is pretty profound- John Nord DWARFS him.