Dream Matches — page 12

Shockingly judging by these physiques, both of these guys are still alive today.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have a big assortment of tag team matches, plus a couple of random one-off solo bouts! First off, it’s a very “1988 WWF” match, as the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition face off against The Young Stallions on WWF Superstars! Then a 1993 match where the new Headshrinkers team faces off against the “1992 Job Squad” of Virgil & “El Matador” Tito Santana! And it’s nearly a ten minute match! Over to WCW, as my “Best of Mortis” series continues, as he tries to win the TV Title from Ultimo Dragon on a 1997 Nitro! A request, as Rick “The Model” Martel faces off against a jobber Paul Roma, who is REALLY gunning for a push, judging by his effort here! And finally, a throwaway WCW Worldwide match, as Vicious & Delicious (Scott Norton & Buff Bagwell) take on The Southern Posse!

DEMOLITION (Ax & Smash, w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. THE YOUNG STALLIONS (Paul Roma & Jim Powers):
(WWF Superstars, June 11th 1988)
* I’ve seen very little of the TV from this time period, but this should be fun. The Stallions were at the bottom of the babyface team pecking order, looking like IMMENSE dorks with their generic “Yay!” personalities. Demolition are the Tag Champs at this point (having beaten Strike Force at WrestleMania IV), but it’s non-title.

Sid: A 10/10 in “Look” if there ever was one, with physical charisma to match… it’s a shame he never figured out the other stuff.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have a wild assortment for you today, as I cover WWF, WCW, and even a really cool old-school match from Japan in 1974!

We start off with Sid’s big 1995 return, as he takes on newbie Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw in one of those bouts that is everything Sid is- quick, not highly-rated, yet completely awesome and drives the fans wild. Then it’s the strangest Clash of the JTTS Guys ever, as Virgil faces “El Matador” Tito Santana in the friendliest match ever in Spain! More of Buddy Landel’s weird WWF run, as he gets a jobber squash against a young Matt Hardy and showcases his stiff striking skills! Then it’s a Battle of the Brits in WCW, as Dave Taylor faces off against “British Bulldog” Davey-Boy Smith.

And finally, we hit Japan in 1974, as a 23-year old Jumbo Tsuruta with all of one year in the business faces the NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jack Brisco in a title fight! Come see just HOW GOOD Jumbo was with only a year in the business, and how much the ’70s style resembled the ’80s NWA one.

SID vs. JUSTIN “HAWK” BRADSHAW (w/ Uncle Zebekiah):
(WWF RAW, 1995-ish)
* Okay, HERE’s a wild one- Sid, freshly returned as a babyface out to help Shawn Michaels now that the Ultimate Warrior’s gone again, and he’s up against midcarder Bradshaw, not QUITE as protected as he’d be even a couple of years later. And in a perfect expression of Sid’s power, his borderline S-Tier charisma has the entire crowd eating out the palm of his hand, which tended to happen every time he debuted, even though he had weak promos and worse in-ring skill.

Booker T’s 1998-ish WCW run is actually very emblematic of the company to me- very few guys had quite that variety of quality midcard matches with multiple opponents and tons of different finishes as him- it’s part of what got him “World Champion” over. He was a LOT more agile than he was in the WWF, too.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have more of Mortis, as he takes on Booker T on the upswing of his WCW career for the TV Title! This one is primarily notable for an absolutely INSANE  screwed up landing that could have killed a man right there on the spot- a good sign of how quickly a spot can turn deadly by accident.

Also, we have a rare old Hardy vs. Hardy match, as Matt & Jeff face each other in the North Carolina indies in 1998, right before their WWF run began! Come watch Jeff use his proto-WWF offense already, while Matt’s still in “Copy Lucha & Japan” mode! Then it’s a rare one-off, as BUDDY LANDEL returns to the WWF in 1999 for one night in a jobber squash taking on Triple H himself on Shotgun Saturday Night! Then it’s Rick Martel in his WCW renaissance, but in a jobber match on Saturday Night as he takes on Hardbody Harrison! And finally, a strange throwaway bout as The Public Enemy take on WWF cast-offs Davey-Boy Smith & Jim Neidhart in 1999 WCW!

As always, all the bouts here are found on YouTube.

WCW TV TITLE:
BOOKER T vs. MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Monday Nitro, Jan. 19th 1998)
* Booker T on the beginning of his hot streak takes on Mortis, who by this point is pretty well a JTTS. Booker, in white tights with orange fire, does the “WCW Thing” of screaming random sh*t into the camera as he comes down the aisle. He’s a bit more lithe and athletic at this point in his career- he hadn’t gone Full Roid for a WWF physique yet. He is INCREDIBLY over, though- the huge arena is full of people raising the roof for him. So of course it took forever to actually push him right.

Seriously though, this is an ALL-TIME wrestling look and it’s a shame they wasted it on a “Midcard JTTS” act.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a classic case of a WCW “throw together two good workers and give them time!” throwaway match, as Mortis (Chris Kanyon) faces Juventud Guerrera on WCW Saturday Night! Then it’s the end of Rick “The Model” Martel’s WWF run as he faces “The Rocket” Owen Hart in one of Owen’s last babyface matches! The more WCW goodness as a rookie Tokyo Magnum on his learning excursion faces El Dandy!

Then we get another Steiner Brothers/Fire & Ice “just launch each other around the ring” match, and finally, an all-time dream bout of the Beverly Brothers facing the jobber Dream Team of Virgil and “El Matador” Tito Santana! Read on!

MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg) vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA:
(WCW Saturday Night, Jan. 3rd 1998)
* Hey, an interesting one, actually! Kanyon in his “Mortis” identity vs. Juvie! This is back when Juventud was still masked (here his mask is an odd dark salmon color) and was kinda/sorta a job guy but sometimes not really? WCW’s midcard was strange because guys would alternate wins & losses randomly. Mortis looks AWESOME and holds up even more in retrospect- 99% of guys don’t look half as cool. The size difference here is profound, too.

Rick Martel didn’t have the best matches during his WWF career, but is often a fountain of surprisingly-good midcard bouts!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have an assortment of WWF & WCW stuff, headlined by Rick “The Model” Martel returning to the WWF to face rookie sensation the 1-2-3 Kid! Rick’s well-known renaissance in WCW a few years later actually has some precedent here, given Martel’s showing.

Also featured is the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express showing up in early nWo-era WCW to take on Fire & Ice! It’s Jimmy Wang Yang’s debut in WCW, as Yun Yang faces off against the KISS Demon! A trios match from hell sees “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan & The Bushwhackers take on The Repo Man & The Beverly Brothers! And finally I find two matches featuring a name that’s intrigued me since I saw him like 30 years ago- The Intruder! Who is a masked jobber in a pair of squash tag matches four years apart, as he’s annihilated by both Demolition and the Nasty Boys!

RICK “THE MODEL” MARTEL vs. THE 1-2-3 KID:
(All-American Wrestling, Oct. 3rd 1993)
* Rick is freshly back in the company at this point “after modeling in Europe”, while the Kid is still a newbie in his blue singlet. Martel’s run at this point is seemingly just to put over some of the newer generation guys, but you gotta beat some dudes to regain credibility before you can do that, so this will be interesting!

Possibly the greatest variance in quality between a wrestler’s visual appearance/gimmick and their in-ring ability.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have some extremely rare stuff for you tonight, as the dreaded “1993 WWF” rears its ugly head once more, giving us a pair of beauties- Mr. Perfect vs. Papa Shango and The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Bastian Booger! Talk about main events in any arena in the country!

Then it’s a look at a crazy WCW rookie team I’d somehow managed to miss entirely- our own Oprah Noodlemantra turned me on to The Pit Crew- Dale “Demon” Torborg & Chad Fortune as guys decked out as WCW racing team pit crew guys. Naturally, their opposition is the Dream Matches favorite squad of Mean Mike & Tough Tom- Disorderly Conduct!

Then it’s the most “1996 WWF” match I could find, as it’s Jim Cornette dream match Barry Windham vs. Tony Anthony… except it’s the worst incarnations of both men- The Stalker vs. T.L. Hopper, in The Stalker’s debut! Then it’s more WCW jobberhood, as Al Green gets set up against Lash LeRoux! And finally, one of those great WCW weirdo mismatch bouts that inspired this column in the first place, as High Voltage face WCW’s lowest-tier luchadores- Ciclope & Galaxy!

MR. PERFECT vs. PAPA SHANGO:
(WWF Mania, March 5th, 1993)
* One more from the semi-short run of Papa Shango, where he faces a rising Mr. Perfect. Shango had by this point been jobbing all over the house show scene to guys like Undertaker & Bob Backlund, but was beating El Matador & Typhoon around the horn as well.

Always interesting how Jericho, who looks like a normal-sized wrestler today, looks noticeably smaller than Mr. Perfect, whose WWF career was held back by his comparatively small size.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! We start off with a double-whammy, as there’s a pair of Chris Jericho vs. Curt Hennig matches from late-90s WCW! Hennig’s past his prime and Jericho wasn’t “made” yet, but see what these two can get going. Then we go to mid-90s WWF, as “The Narcissist” Lex Luger and “El Matador” Tito Santana fill TV time as Lex’s WWF career starts off! Then the Steiner Brothers go on a tear in 1998 WCW as they take on the nWo bottom-tier squad of Konnan & Vincent!

Then it’s a very “1990s WCW TV” match, as Scott Norton faces jobber Jim Powers! And finally, a “Throwaway Saturday Night Trios Match” starring Juventud Guerrera, La Parka & Silver King vs. Super Calo, Hector Garza & Lizmark Jr.! Which is interesting mainly because it has a REALLY awkward bit thanks to a mid-match injury and some improv.

CURT HENNIG (w/ Ravishing Rick Rude) vs. CHRIS JERICHO:
(WCW Nitro, Dec. 29th 1997)
* The post-Starrcade doldrums of WCW are here! Hennig faces off against Cruiserweight star Jericho. Jericho at this point was still his Generic Peppy Babyface incarnation, but was far less manic than when he came down to that Mammoth song, using the “Evenflow” ripoff and coming down with… this odd kinda random grin on his face. Like he’s being sarcastic a bit? It’s really weird and hard to read. He’s in black with yellow lightning bolts, while Hennig’s in blue.

That’s right- you know it’s a good day when BASTIAN BOOGER is featured in the article!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have another doozy from WWF Mania, as their featured match is Bastian Booger vs. KOKO B. WARE, at this point a member of High Energy in the world’s most ridiculous pants. Then it’s the No-Limit Soldiers/West Texas Rednecks feud continuing in WCW, as Redneck leader Curt Hennig takes on the Power Plant jobber Chase Tatum, now a white-boy rap fan. Then it’s 3-Count vs. Disorderly Conduct, as the DC boys continue jobbing to every team coming down the pipeline!

And try to control your excitement as “Squire” Dave Taylor faces wunderkind rookie Prince Iaukea on a Spring Break Nitro while the cameras ignore them in favor of nWo stuff! Then back to the WWF as The Blue Blazer (Owen Hart as a JTTS) takes on The Warlord of the Powers of Pain- mini-star vs. tag guy! It’s actually up in the air who might win! And finally, a double-whammy dream match as HUGH MORRUS faces RICK FULLER on two separate occasions!

KOKO B. WARE vs. BASTIAN BOOGER:
(WWF Mania, April 16th 1994)
* Man, what fresh hell is THIS? Booger vs. a tag wrestler? Apparently this is Booger’s last televised match in the company, too- he even gets the “already in the ring” deal.

Nothing says “Dream Matches” like the Ugandan Giant!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, we take a look at Jake Roberts vs. Kamala on Saturday Night’s Main Event in 1987! Then it’s a double-whammy of a generic TV match that would be a big Dream Match only three years later- Bland babyface Chris Jericho vs. Bland excursion-era Yuji Nagata on WCW TV in two separate meaningless matches! Scott Norton, brand new to WCW, takes on Tom “Z-Man” Zenk! The Smoking Gunns make their debut on WWF television, taking on the horrifyingly-bad duo of Damian Demento & The Brooklyn Brawler (poor Damian!)! Then it’s the Headshrinkers taking on another makeshift team- Bob Backlund and “El Matador” Tito Santana! And finally “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. The Repo Man in a throwaway “Wait, these guys were still around in early 1993?” match!

JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS vs. KAMALA (w/ Mr. Fuji & Kim Chee):
(WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event, 1987)
* A YouTube video less than 10 minutes and it’s Jake/Kamala- I can see the screwjob coming a mile away, but still. They’re doing a “black guy is terrified of snakes” bit with Kamala, about which Gene scolds Fuji for signing the match, but Fuji (Kamala’s new manager here) says it won’t be an issue. Gene noticeably shaking the microphone while looking at Damien is a great bit of business- what a pro. This is shortly after the Honky Tonk Man blasted Jake with a real guitar on the Snake Pit, absolutely DESTROYING him legit (and holy god does that look bad). Jake’s got black tights with a blue snake graphic around them.

“Mom, can we see Ric Flair?”
“We have Ric Flair at home.”

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Today, we’ve got a wild mish-mash of WWF stuff, as we get the weird time when Buddy Landel was a regular WWF guy until an ice patch, not his own demons, caught up with him! And Buddy gets a shot against the WWF Champion, Bret Hart!

Then it’s the true debut of “Team Extreme”, as Matt Hardy takes on Essa Rios (w/ Lita), and Essa’s had enough of his manager! Then we have Marty Jannetty vs. The Repo Man as Marty gets ready to face Shawn Michaels at the Royal Rumble! There’s also an interesting jobber match, as the Steiner Brothers take on Al Green and a very young Mike Awesome! Vincent vs. Damian on WCW Saturday Night, as they continue to give VINCENT of all people a mini-push on that show!  Then it’s one of those throwaway Nitro spotfest matches, as Psychosis, La Parka & El Dandy take on future Dragon Gate guys CIMA Nobunaga, Tokyo Magnum & Judo Suwa!

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. BUDDY LANDEL:
(WWF Mania, Jan. 15th 1996)
* Yes, it’s the hilariously short time BUDDY LANDEL was in the WWF- an ill-timed injury slipping on ice ended this, what could have been his most lucrative run ever. Though he jobbed to Ahmed Johnson in like 45 seconds on PPV, so I don’t think they had high hopes for him. His “Ric Flair Wannabe” gimmick was in full effect, with fancy robes and he even used Flair’s WWF entrance music! This is actually taped before Buddy’s injury and aired after it- he was only in one-off WWF matches after this.

The Battle Royal: in an era of jobber vs. jobber matches making up almost all TV wrestling, this iwas the only way to get to see a TON of big stars in one place!

It’s another Dream Matches column! This time I find a Battle Royal from 1992 with a very unexpected victor! A 40-man battle royal with an incredible SEVENTEEN jobbers getting paydays, and extended runs by guys like Kato and a beyond-done Texas Tornado! Read on!

I also find some disparate stuff- Crush vs. Damian Demento from a 1992 WWF Mania, as I find an incredible smorgasbord of horrible low-grade matches on that program! Essa Rios vs. Jeff Hardy from 2000, as the Hardyz push REALLY starts to get in gear and “Team Extreme” is ready to form! WCW midcard glory as Glacier faces Lash Leroux! Then it’s a request, as we see a very young MIKE AWESOME in late ’80s WCW, as he faces the “Z-Man” Tom Zenk! And finally, some throwaway lucha stuff as Juventud Guerrera & Super Calo face Silver King & El Dandy in a match that ends in a REAL mess of miscommunication!

BATTLE ROYAL:
(Bret Hart, The British Bulldog, Sgt. Slaughter, Rick “The Model” Martel, “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, I.R.S., The Nasty Boys, “El Matador” Tito Santana, “Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich, Virgil, High Energy, Skinner, The Beverly Brothers, The Berzerker, Kato, Jim Powers, Barry Horowitz, Jumping Jim Brunzell, Duane Gill, Joe Milano, Rick Johnson, John/Tom Star, J.K. Goodman, Chico Martinez, Bob Bradley, Bruce Mitchell, Bob Knight, Terry Davis, Joe McMullen, Al Tucker, Barry Hardy, Nick Danger, Scott Palontonio?)
(WWF Prime Time, July 6th 1992)
* Okay, so while Scott Keith HATES Battle Royals, I LOVE them. I mean, in an era where your weekly main event was like Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Koko B. Ware, seeing THIRTY GUYS in one match? That was incredible! Plus it was fun to see guys go out almost in the exact order of importance. This one’s a real mish-mash of the most “1992” acts possible, including Kato as a singles act, the Beverlies, High Energy & Skinner. I don’t recognize most of the seventeen (!) jobbers, but there’s a pudgy short guy in a red singlet who is AMAZINGLY bad-looking, and Johnson is some huge, ripped dude. Bruce & Bob look like a tag team in matching black tights & white boots. LOL some asshole fan on the right is grabbing all the babyfaces by the arm and not letting go, resulting in a bunch of dudes (Virgil, Kerry) spinning around, probably giving him an earful.

Finally- I’ve found more Berzerker matches to watch! And against VIRGIL, no less!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I’ve got some wild stuff today- Virgil vs. The Berzerker in late 1992! A heel Glacier vs. Sick Boy in 1998 WCW Nitro! Repo Man continues his undercard heel run against JTTS legend Koko B. Ware in 1993! Poor “Squire” Dave Taylor has to face rookie Chase Tatum on a D-show! Then it’s ERIK WATTS vs. Silver King in 1998 WCW! Finally, it’s a pair of Wrath vs. Al Green squashes in the last months of ’98, and an all-time dream match caps us off- The Disciple versus LIGHTNING FOOT, Jerry Flynn!

THE BERZERKER vs. VIRGIL:
(WWF Prime Time, Dec. 28th 1992)
* This is way late in the Berzerker’s run, as he has no manager (having dropped Mr. Fuji). Virgil’s in white & black striped tights, and is the company’s resident JTTS. However, he seems to get a REALLY good reaction here, with fans noticeably jumping up and cheering. The size difference here is pretty profound- John Nord DWARFS him.

WWF SURVIVOR SERIES SHOWDOWN 1991:
-Hey look! I finally found another one of these shows! Though… this got uploaded in 2018, so I should have been able to find it then! Oh well. We’ve got a big batch of Dream Matches here, with Boss Man vs. Earthquake (same as last year), Roddy Piper vs. Hercules, and even the Million Dollar Title rematch between Ted DiBiase & Virgil- the actual end of their feud that nobody remembers or talks about! And somehow this company was insane enough to give away BLAKE BEVERLY vs. BUSHWHACKER LUKE on free TV! No wonder business bit the dust in 1992!

So this is the go-home show for the Hogan/Taker Survivor Series: “The Gravest Challenge”, which is also the first one with Ric Flair in it, but turned out to be an advertisement for “This Tuesday in Texas”, a failed experiment to put a PPV on a different date.

Your hosts: Vince McMahon & Bobby Heenan

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! So if you’re a fan of Sick Boy, you probably know the legend of him almost getting a big WWE push with the “Katie Vick” storyline, until he was cut loose for less-publicized reasons. Well come look at one of those reasons, as he faces OVW’s Prototype (a young, even more roided John Cena) in a Dark Match on RAW!

Also today, we’ll take a look at the DRAGON KID of all people making WCW TV, as he takes on Psychosis! Then some WCW Saturday Night goodness as it’s Wrath vs. Kenny Kaos! Also more of my “Essa Rios” series, as he takes on Crash Holly in early 2000! The Repo Man vs. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka in 1993 (yes, Snuka was around EVEN THEN!)! A very “WCW Squash Match” as Lash Leroux goes up against Tommy Rogers of The Fantastics in 2000! And we end things with another WWF match, as Virgil gets fed to “The Narcissist” Lex Luger, shortly before his repackaging!

GUEST REFEREE JACQUELINE:
THE PROTOTYPE vs. SCOTT VICK:
(WWF RAW Dark Match, June 2nd 2002)
* Yes, this is a very rare match between John Cena and Scott “Sick Boy” Vick, back when Vick was in developmental. Prototype’s in blue & silver shorts, and Vick’s in black shorts, and is actually taller than Cena, I think- just lankier.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a hell of a find- a 1951 Gorgeous George match! Come watch the ORIGINAL wrestling gimmick perform with some stuff you still find today! Also up: more of the infamous KISS Demon as he faces Rick Fuller! Bill Goldberg takes on roided jobber Chase Tatum! And finally it’s more Papi Chulo, as he teams up with El Merenguero (Jesus Castillo of Los Boriquas) against the pre-fame Hardy Boyz on WWF Super Astros! Also I threw in Yuji Nagata vs. Psychosis from an old Nitro, cuz I didn’t want only four matches.

BEST TWO OF THREE FALLS:
GORGEOUS GEORGE (w/ Thomas Ross) vs. JESSE JAMES:
(April 9th 1951)
* Oh yes, it’s time to review a GORGEOUS GEORGE match! So for those unaware, George is essentially the first “Gimmick Wrestler” of importance, doing a character performance as opposed to just being some tough guy. He’s got curly bleach-blonde hair, an imperious manner, and a fussy, pain in the ass character, insisting his valet use an atomizer to scent the “filthy” ring with perfume, “Because all the dirty wrestlers that have been in there”. George comes down to some flouncy theme music (he may have even invented the concept of wrestlers using theme music), throwing flowered leis into the crowd, and you get the perfect shot to realize that people back then “got it” about George- every man and woman there either has a look of disgust or the biggest “Can you believe this f*ckin’ guy?” grin on their face.

KING OF THE RING 2002:
-So we’re in the 2002 era now- the InVasion was a crushing disappointment, the nWo is here, and most of the big stars have slowed down and Triple-H rules much of the company. The product was ICE FREAKING COLD at this point, with the fans acting like their souls had been cut out. This is also famously the reason Steve Austin bailed on the company for a year or so, as he was booked to job in a short, unhyped match with Brock Lesnar in a Qualifier. Disgusted with the company (and acting COMPLETELY paranoid about his position on the card- he’d been embarrassing all three nWo guys in angles a few months beforehand), Austin went home without notice.

X-PAC vs. GOLDUST:
(WWF RAW, June 3rd)
* X-Pac is in the nWo here, but comes down solo (wearing a Kane mask, because they have an issue AGAIN?), while Goldust has a fake X-Pac goatee stuck onto his face and isn’t over in the slightest, despite being paired up with Booker T, who was an nWo member disliked by the others at this point.

When you make a deal with a nostalgia act and stick a Power Plant nobody in Gene Simmons’s gear. Then set up a deal for a PPV Main Event without knowing how it’s gonna get over. The most “Because WCW” thing ever.

Welcome back to more “Dream Matches”! Today, we take our first look at the infamous WCW run of “The Demon”, Dale Torborg wrapped up in KISS gear and made to be an official “KISS Wrestler” in a giant failure of a gimmick. Here he’s a speedbump for Jeff Jarrett during his never-ending WCW Main Eventer run. Then it’s a hilariously bad match where The Disciple cuts an impassioned promo to beg the fans to cheer for him, then goes out and flubs horribly in a match against Kenny Kaos! I find one more Super Assassins match, as Warlord & Barbarian (in masks) go out against the Nasty Boys!

One more “PG-13 in WCW” match, as they try to take the WCW Tag Team Titles from The Mamalukes! Then it’s a pair of Essa Rios vs. Funaki matches, as they fill time on all the lower-end shows with Light Heavyweight Title defenses! And finally, I end my “Los Cowboys” run by finally slotting in their trios match with Tigre Canadiense (a forgotten white guy who got unexpectedly over in lucha) against Dr. Wagner Jr. & The Headhunters!

U.S. TITLE:
JEFF JARRETT (w/ The Harris Twins) vs. THE DEMON:
(WCW Saturday Night, March 11th, 2000)
* UGHHHHHHHHHH I forgot the Harrises were in the last-ditch “nWo”. And Jarrett is saying they’re in “Slapnut County” to get crowd heat and cuts this rambling, boring promo about putting Sid’s career “on life support systems”. He’s in silver shorts, up against the KISS Demon in a US Title defense, and poor Dale Torborg has to do his giant entrance, brandishing his cape like a doofus, all so Jeff can jump him from behind.

The Barbarian was a big, strong, legit-tough dude, but a WORLD TITLE CONTENDER? On PPV? No wonder WCW lost so much money.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have a sequel to last weeks’ Jake/Koloff match, as it’s Jake & Barbarian vs. Nikita & Ron Simmons, the WCW World Champion! Then, it’s one of the stranger “two guys you didn’t think ever met” contests, thanks to Erik Watts’ run in late ’90s WCW, where he takes on Disco Inferno on TWO separate occasions! Then it’s a giant Hoss Match as The Giant takes on Roadblock on WCW Nitro, in a match with a remarkable ending that’s stuck in my mind for 25 years! More Essa Rios content, as he & Funaki take on the Hardy Boyz back when Rios was “Papi Chulo”! Then it’s a shockingly very good Wrath match, as he & the underrated Mike Enos fight like hell on a filler WCW Thunder bout! With some commentary you really have to hear.

JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS & THE BARBARIAN (w/ Cactus Jack) vs. RON SIMMONS & NIKITA KOLOFF:
(WCW Power Hour, Oct. 17th 1992)
* By recommendations, here’s Jake & Barbarian as WCW heels vs. Ron Simmons (the WCW World Champion!) and Koloff. Jake’s in blue, Barbarian’s in black, Ron’s in green and slapping hands with the fans, and a very bored-looking Koloff is in a black singlet. Nobody seems nearly as over as they should be considering this has the World Champ and the guy he’s wrestling at Halloween Havoc in a week.

Imagine this look, minus about 20 lbs. of muscle, and you have 1992 Nikita Koloff.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I found another Jake Roberts match I never knew existed, though I guess he & Cactus Jack had a feud against Sting & Nikita Koloff in WCW when I wasn’t watching! So come see Jake versus a “just here for the paycheck” Koloff, as well as another Ron “H20” Waterman match, as he takes on The Prototype (aka John Cena on ALL THE STEROIDS)! Also a big pile of WCW D-Show nonsense, as we see Marty Jannetty vs. Horshu! The Wall vs. Rick Fuller, as the Wall’s weird WCW push continues! Bobby Eaton winding down his WCW run fighting BUZZKILL of all people! The Public Enemy take on the legendary Disorderly Conduct! And finally, Scott Norton versus El Dandy! Will we see Norton’s famously generous selling against smaller men? Wait and see!

JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS vs. NIKITA KOLOFF:
(WCW Worldwide, Aug. 25th 1992)
* !!! Okay, now THIS is interesting. I didn’t realize Koloff was still around back then, but he’s feuding with Jake & Cactus Jack alongside Sting . It’s fascinating, because without steroids and his “Just a guy in good shape” look, you realize that Koloff is noticeably smaller than Jake, which makes me think a Hogan/Koloff feud wouldn’t have QUITE the visuals Vince would want. Jake is wearing some weird patchwork tights while Nikita’s in a jobbery-looking singlet.

Randy Orton in 2002- ready for his Crazy Town cover band.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, I have a fascinating dark match from RAW where four of OVW’s seemingly most promising guys perform… while also proving just WHY Brock Lesnar & Randy Orton made it, and why their partners, Ron “H20” Waterman & Rico Constantino did not.

And also I have some requests- Wildo & Ingus Jynx vs. The Grimm Twins! This is the only TV appearance of Wildo & Ingus Jynx and one of two appearances of the Grimm Twins! The Jynxes, of course, Matt & Jeff Hardy in weirdo one-off look, against the Harris Brothers in the second of their three WWF gimmicks. Also let’s take a look at Jake “The Snake” Roberts in 1987, taking on Moondog Spot, whom I’m seeing for the very first time! Also the wildest squash ever, as f*cking VINCENT of the nWo gets to look like a shooter against poor Tokyo Magnum! Plus a main event in any gymnasium in the country- VAN HAMMER vs. MIKE ENOS! And finally, the “Dream Matches” debut of Sick Boy, as he faces The Renegade!

As always, all these matches are available on YouTube.

BROCK LESNAR & RON “H20” WATERMAN vs. RANDY ORTON & RICO CONSTANTINO:
(RAW Dark Match, Feb. 4th 2002)
* oh SNAP! Some of the Pillars of OVW, back during their “touring RAW in Dark Matches” days. Nobody was really known to the fans yet, but Brock had been mostly teaming with Shelton Benjamin in OVW, and Rico was a very pushed guy over there (I remember Scott giving one bout of his a **** review and being excited to see him). Ron was a failed MMA fighter and has a great look, but never even made WWF TV. Brock & Ron are in black trunks, Ron just walking down stoically while Brock is actively flexing and talking smack- jeez, no wonder only one got called up. Randy… my god I forgot how young he was back then. He’s just a BABY. Oddly lacking today’s muscle-tone. The blue shorts are a weird look given how long he’s been in tiny trunks. Rico’s in long black tights and is just a normal guy, not the fabulous hairdresser yet.