Articles by Jabroniville

Underreported amidst the ton of recent wrestling deaths was that of Mike Halac, aka Mantaur.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, I have another FAT MAN STAND-OFF for you, as Bam Bam Bigelow faces MANTAUR just after the latter had won a bunch of jobber matches so they could pretend he was a featured act! Then it’s over to Zero-One in Japan as legend Shinya Hashimoto takes on Masato Tanaka, who is familiar to US audiences via ECW!

Then it’s over to WCW for more of my tribute to Terry Funk, with Terry’s mid-90s run in a match against a very bored Brian Pillman! “Dangerous” Devon Storm gets a WCW Prime match against “Men At Work” Chris Kanyon, and shows off just why Storm never really “made it” via his shitty version of 1996 indie flippy guy offense. Finally, I throw in a beautiful WCW Power Plant match between roided rookies, as it’s Horshu vs. Mike Tolbert!

… oh hey I just realized that every featured match today but one is a tribute to deceased wrestlers! Hooray!

BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. MANTAUR (w/ Jim Cornette):
* OH HELL YEAH IT’S TIME FOR A FAT MAN STAND-OFF! The YouTube video here is of a French broadcast with who I think is Ray Rougeau on commentary (I can recognize his cadence and voice even in French). Bam Bam is a babyface with a Bob Holly-esque sound after the “BAMMMM BAMMMMM!” part of his theme. He’s wearing a ridiculous Power Rangers Villain costume with a frill made of flames and big fire gauntlets. Mantaur is decidedly a JTTS gimmick, but they had him squash a lot of jobbers for the first month or so to establish him, which was the style at the time- he’s nearly as big as Bam Bam, but less rotund and more broad.

GAEA JAPAN- WILD TIMES:
(Jan. 15th 1998)
* Back to GAEA Japan to see what they’ve got going on in January 1998. Las Cachorras Orientales shows up to wreck house on their top rookies, Meiko Satomura & Sonoko Kato! Chigusa faces her smallest first-gen trainee, Toshie Uematsu. We get KAORU & Yamada as “Wacky Tag Team Partners Who Hate Each Other”, and end with Mayumi Ozaki leading Sugar Sato against Meiko & Kato.

CHIGUSA NAGAYO vs. TOSHIE UEMATSU:
* The smallest of the first generation of GAEA takes on the boss to see how she’s leveled up so far.

ANATOMY OF A DISASTER: THE GREAT SASUKE vs. THE DIRT BIKE KID:
-It’s time for another Anatomy of a Disaster! These typically take a longer time to write, so when I fell behind for a bit and I didn’t know what to do next, I took a bit of a break. I wanted to talk about this oddball match, but it’s less “Disaster because it sucks” and more “it turns into a weird shoot” and also involves wrestlers from two different countries so learning the inner workings of what went down is harder to figure out.

THE STAGE: Michinoku Pro- Masked World League (7/29/1999)

THE PERFORMERS:
The Great Sasuke: A Japanese high-flying legend, who at this point had made his bones in a ton of great matches in Michinoku Pro and elsewhere, hitting the finals of the legendary Super J-Cup 1995 tournament (losing to Chris Benoit in the finals, after beating Jushin Liger himself in the semi-finals). He was a high-flier with an infamous disregard for his personal safety, hitting the Space Flying Tiger Drop (a cartwheel backflip ending with him sailing over the ropes to the floor). There were a lot of fliers back then, but nobody went further or had prettier flips and dives than Sasuke did. He was the top star of Michinoku Pro, which ran in Northern Japan.

The Dirt Bike Kid: The Dirt Bike Kid was Jason Harrison, a young British kid who debuted in 1994 and never moved further than the indies in the U.S. & Europe. He started out in England, but quickly went to the National Wrestling Conference (wrestling in Las Vegas), assorted NWA affiliates, and more. Sometimes wrestling as the Shark Attack Kid, he peaked in ECW in 1996-98 (parlaying a match with Sabu into more appearances, though it seems like he mostly wrestled every few months or so), though I’ve never even heard of him until reading about this match a year ago. There’s also some 1998 matches in England & Germany, so he moved over to there as well… actually running his own promotion, the European Wrestling Association (which explains why he’s in a main event with Sabu there, and held the EWA Junior Heavyweight Title, which was traded to Whipwreck & Sabu). His whole gimmick is that he wears… well, a dirt-biking uniform in the ring. A full suit covering every bit of his body. He’s in such podunk Indies that his Cagematch profile only has him in a few matches per year- he probably wrestlers a lot more than that, but it’s just not recorded (and this is before supermarks would document their entire careers online and fill it out every night).

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have a lot of Dead Guy Tributes for you! Starting off, we have Eddie Guerrero vs. his older brother Hector… from NITRO in 1997! Yeah, I don’t remember this at all! Hector comes to teach his heelish little brother a lesson about family values, in hot-blooded Guerrero style!

Next up we have more in my tribute to Terry Funk… in a Hardcore match on Nitro against The Wall! Yes, we’re back into the weird story of The Wall of all people getting a big of grassroots leading to a push that went nowhere. And I contrast The Wall’s no-selling in THAT match with Bill Goldberg’s in the following, as he takes on the Flock’s big man, Reese! Now THERE’s some fantastic use of no-selling, which is harder than it looks!

Then it’s more of The Best of Ted Arcidi, as we travel to 1987 WCWA and “Maniac” Matt Borne defending the Texas Heavyweight Title and actually making the best out of a useless opponent! And finally, it’s a tribute to “Superstar” Billy Graham… via his last big WWF match, where “The Natural” Butch Reed merks him.

EDDIE GUERRERO vs. HECTOR GUERRERO:
(WCW Nitro, July 22nd 1997)
* A fascinating match I don’t remember, as Eddie takes on his older brother, 13 years his senior. There’s a lot of family resemblance, though Hector is pasty and flabby by comparison, with these sparkly ’80s trunks that don’t fit right. Eddie’s still in his babyface tights (the white with the red symbols), but has dropped the singlet top, just having turned heel.

NEO JAPAN LADIES- SEVEN CHOCOLATES GRAND OPENING:
(Feb. 15th 1998)
* Yes we’re already into February for Neo’s second show, as I have nothing for AJW or any other company for January. And we’re already doing interpromotional shit, as Neo’s tiny-ass roster can’t really maintain entire shows by itself without Kyoko working three matches in one hour like LAST month! So we have mixed matches involving Jd’s Chikako Shiratori & Jaguar Yokota and a trio of Neo vs. JWP matches, then ending with ANOTHER one, as it’s two major stars- Kyoko Inoue vs. Hikari Fukuoka- the Ace of JWP! That one actually comes off as quite special and with some real mystique to it, as they haven’t locked up since Hikari was a try-hard up & comer, and never in singles!

The crowd seems decently full for the lower bowl, though you can see some empty seats around. And hey! This is that arena the one AJW/LLPW show happened in! I recognize the whole “the hard camera is a shot of a giant metal sliding door with lil’ staircases to the sides” thing.

Neo Ladies Roster: Kyoko Inoue, Las Cachorras Orientales, Chaparrita ASARI, Yoshiko Tamura, Tanny Mouse, Yuka Shiina, Misae Genki, Saya Endo

SAYA ENDO (Neo) vs. CHIKAKO SHIRATORI (Jd’):
* Chikako quit AJW for greener pastures as one of the big stars of Jd’, but despite her best efforts didn’t turn into much of a worker. But here she’s against the low-end Endo, minion of Las Cachorras Orientales, probably being fed to Chikako. Chikako’s in white frilly idol gear and Endo’s in black & gold, a bit like Kaoru Ito’s look.

I have never half-assed a day at work as bad as this. Ever.

Welcome back to another Dream Matches! Oh man, do I have some STUFF for you today! It’s time for another FAT MAN STAND-OFF!! This time a hilariously podunk indie gynmnasium match featuring Bastian Booger vs. Typhoon in maybe the laziest 10-minute match I’ve ever seen- come see a “plz shake my hand, mr. babyface” spot SEVEN MINUTES IN and be in awe.

Then we finally start my slow tribute to Terry Funk, as he teams up with fellow Texas Bradshaw and Dustin Runnels (yes, Runnels) on Shotgun Saturday Night to take on Jerry Lawler and Too Much (Brian Christopher & Scott Taylor) in a meaningless D-show bout that the two veterans try to have fun with! Then it’s my first-ever Austin Aries match (yes, shut up) as he takes on Mad Mikey (Crash Holly) in 2003 TNA! And finally, it’s a WCW 6-Man Tag, as it’s Sting, Lex Luger & El Gigante vs. Barry Windham, Dan Spivey & Larry Zybszko!

TYPHOON vs. BASTIAN BOOGER:
(Some Indie- NWA affiliate, April 22nd 1995)
* Oh yeah it’s FAT MAN STAND-OFF time! With both guys doing their WWF gimmicks in some indie gymnasium for some reason. Why was this allowed? And Typhoon comes down to “Hell’s Bells” by AC/DC, lol. Best part is the song’s intro is so long they don’t even get to the lyrics before the music stops.

NEO JAPAN LADIES PRO WRESTLING- FIRST KISS (Debut Show):
(Jan. 9th, 1998)
* WOO FINALLY! It’s time for a BRAND NEW Joshi promotion to show up in my Spotlights! This one is “Neo Ladies”, a start-up centered around former WWWA Champion and AJW Ace, Kyoko Inoue! This is also where Las Cachorras Orientales end up before their freelancing career really starts up. Aaaaaaaaaaaand then it’s a bunch of scrubs! But some are pretty good! And improving! But really it’s one of three companies that have about “a third of a good roster” after the destruction following AJW’s bankruptcy (AJW, ARSION & Neo). Oh, and both Kyoko & Tanny Mouse are working more than once, which is never a good sign for effort.

Neo Ladies Roster: Kyoko Inoue, Las Cachorras Orientales, Chaparrita ASARI, Yoshiko Tamura, Tanny Mouse, Yuka Shiina, Misae Genki, Saya Endo (hooray, now I might finally start being able to remember which rookies are which on sight!)

All the wrestlers take their bows and do mini-interviews- an emotional Kyoko begins the festivities, thanking the fans for showing up. LCO, acting WWWA Tag Team Champions, brandish their former promotion’s belts as well.

TRIANGLE MATCH:
SAYA ENDO vs. YUKA SHIINA vs. TANNY MOUSE:
* Yes, the first ever match of Neo Ladies and it’s got Tanny Mouse in it. You just gotta love Japanese hierarchy-based show booking. So Saya Endo is LCO’s “Third Woman”- a rookie who follows them around. She’s in black & yellow. Shiina’s in white & red athletic gear, and is a very tanned prospect who was just rising in AJW. Tanny is a goofy-looking comedy wrestler with orange hair and another black/yellow outfit. And oh god dammit she’s still got the mouse tail.

JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. KIDMAN:
* So these two were paired up a LOT over the years, but rarely with a long-term feud from what I remember. And I went and found TEN different matches just on YouTube to review, after someone suggested following my Kidman/Psychosis one to try Juvi as well.

So Kidman was the resident low Cruiserweight on the totem pole in 1996-97, but joined the Flock late that year and got a micro-push as a rising star with some potential, constantly scratching himself (in what was a reference to heroin addicts, but this was lost on me and the commentators, who figured it was a reference to him being dirty and greasy). But Kidman got a rocket push in the division later in 1998 after the Flock split up.

Juventud meanwhile was “the guy who loses to Rey Mysterio” for a long time, and did the classic “win some, then lose some” non-push WCW always gave guys, but got a big run with Chris Jericho in early 1998 that made him a star at the expense of his mask. By late ’98, both guys were credible Cruiserweight Champions, and during their whole run they were often thrown out there on TV to have a good match.

This set becomes an interesting look at how guys repeat spots consistently in all their contests, likely having watched their past stuff or having a pre-existing plan. In this case, watch for them doing a spot in the corner where Juvi gets backdropped or suplexed to the apron but either punches Kidman or pulls him down by the hair, then hits a flying move. Also, Juvi flinging himself backwards legs-first right into a wheelbarrow German suplex, and landing on his feet when Kidman tries to German or powerbomb him.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one features maybe the best Ultimate X Match ever (apparently), with AJ Styles & Chris Sabin challenging for Petey Williams’s X-Division belt in an outstanding display of huge spots and killer reversals!

Then it’s a WWF three-way match as Kurt Angle vs. The Rock vs. Tazz, continuing the Angle/Tazz feud and throwing in The Great One! Come see the “Main Event Style” of the WWF, with everyone spamming clotheslines because it’s a core part of all their offensive counters. Then it’s over to Ring of Honor where Roderick Strong faces the IWGP Champion, Kazuchika Okada! And finally a WWF match pitting Money Inc. against old foes “El Matador” Tito Santana & Virgil, with the BABYFACES oddly using the “heel cheating” formula against the heels!

ULTIMATE X:
X-DIVISION TITLE:
PETEY WILLIAMS (w/ Coach Scott d’Amore) vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. A.J. STYLES:
(NWA-TNA, TNA Final Resolution 2005)
* So someone recommended I watch an Ultimate X match like four months ago, so here I am! I finally got around to it! The YouTube title suggests this might be the best one ever, and since YouTube titles never lie, I’m all in! So the “Ultimate X” match is the signature TNA match, where the X-Division guys fight for a belt hanging from an “X” over the ring, held up by four climbable “trusses” (I’m told that is their proper name)- the point is for guys to climb up the trusses, climb across the outstretched wires, and grab the belt. Highspots abound. Sabin’s in black trunks, Petey’s in shiny red shorts, and Styles is in blue shorts. Every single one of them has the same physique and nearly identical proportions- was there some kind of “standard way to lift weights” back in the indies/TNA or something?

RIP the AJW we knew- it becomes a shell of itself in 1997, losing 2/3 of the roster.

JOSHI IN 1997- JOSHI EXPLODES:
* Okay, so it’s big things afoot- 1997 is the year the joshi scene in Japan completely explodes, as All Japan Women’s Pro Wrestling (AJW), the signature company of joshi, goes bankrupt. The owners’ bad business decisions (most notably, a restaurant chain) combine with fading business all over, and AJW stops paying its wrestlers partway through 1997. Some rookies stick around, Kaoru Ito & Tomoko Watanabe form the backbone of the loyalists, Yumiko Hotta steps up as the new Ace as she’s still loyal, and Manami Toyota is convinced to give up retirement and get a contracted gig… but they lose half the wrestlers and most of the stars.

From Evito:
It’s time to talk about the collapse of All Japan Women (briefly). The Matsunaga’s wasteful spending had led to them having major financial difficulties since 1996 (and possibly years earlier). Zenjo had been cold for some time which didn’t help things, but the reason was the Matsunaga’s losses in real estate, stocks and their other businesses. During the 1980s economic bubble, the brothers got heavily into real estate, and among many other investments, attempted to franchise a Ramen house restaurant chain. Once the bubble burst and the real estate market nosedived, they took out significant bank loans to prop up their business, racking up huge debt which they were unable to pay back.

Payments to talent and office staff had been late or unpaid since 1996, and no one had been paid since March. The only reason they could survive without being paid for so long was because they lived in the company building, but on the road, they had to rely on the venues to supply food. Their patience came to an end on August 20. Kyoko Inoue, Rie Tamada, and Yumi Fukawa announced they would be leaving the company after the show and it was clear to everyone that there were issues with management. After the show, the wrestlers went on strike in front of the office and demanded their unpaid salaries. The story broke days later, and a press conference was held by the company on September 12 revealing the extent of the financial problems. The company was one step away from bankruptcy, and ended up filing for bankruptcy in October.

… hey it was otherwise gonna be just a three-match review for the Joshi Spotlight this week, okay?

JOSHI SPOTLIGHT- YUKI LEE:
Billed Height & Weight: 5’3″ 150 lbs.
Career Length: 1992, 1994-1999

-Yes, YUKI LEE. What? I wanna cover everybody and I’ve gotten through most of the people who were big from 1992-95 that I was most familiar with, and now it’s just either the dregs or the people whose careers peaked after the era I’ve seen. I can’t do a Meiko Satomura bio if I’ve only seen her as a rookie spitfire and not Joshi Mom! So now it’s just losers who retired young!

So Yuki Lee was a big centerpiece of the JD’ promotion, which got started in late 1995- she was an AJW wash-out who got re-trained and for some reason was made a star of focus on JD’s shows, which started with a big dramatic opening with the faces and names of Bison Kimura, Jaguar Yokota, AJW “Pretty Girl” loser Chikako Shiratori… and rookie Yuki Lee. I guess a lot was expected of her, but god knows WHAT.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time it’s a late request, as I finally touch on Sgt. Slaughter vs. Iron Sheik in their famous BOOT CAMP MATCH! Then it’s a bunch of weird disparate stuff, like another Ted Arcidi match, as he teams up with Hillbilly Jim to face King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd!

Plus a weirdo mish-mash short-lived tag team of Bobby Eaton of the Midnight Express & Steve Keirn of the Fabulous Ones, as “Bad Attitude” takes on the main event duo of Sting & Ricky Steamboat in WCW! Then it’s more ICEBERG, as I dig into the career of the NWA Wildside luminary as he takes on his longtime rival & partner Tank in a bloody Cage Match involving tons of weapons! And it DOESN’T SUCK! Finally, it’s a classic “before they were stars” match as the future Balls Mahoney, John Rechner, takes on Virgil in 1992 WWF!

BOOT CAMP MATCH:
SGT. SLAUGHTER vs. THE IRON SHEIK:
(WWF, June 1984)
* The famous Slaughter/Sheik match. This was requested right when the Sheik died but I totally just shoved it on the docket of stuff to look at, lol. TIMELY! This was the end of a blood feud between the former World Champion and the peak “Military Patriotic Guy” gimmick Sgt. Slaughter. No holds barred, Falls Count Anywhere with the referee outside the ring.

JWP IN SUMMER 1997:
(June 29th to July 6th 1997)
* Here’s another JWP I just found- the summer sees a pair of shows starring Akira Hokuto and others! Plus a bunch of Candy Okutsu’s “Final Running” series before she retires for the first time!

TOMOKO KUZUMI vs. CANDY OKUTSU:
* Kuzumi’s a well-thought-off rookie champion at this point, while Candy’s in the midcard but just about to retire. Candy’s in black & Kuzumi’s in brown idol gear with lots of fringe.

Candy dominates the rookie to start, but Kuzumi uses speed and keeps Candy on the defensive with stretching. Candy finally catches her with a missile dropkick off a whip and DDTs her into a sleeper for a while. Seven minutes gone and Kuzumi mimics the same missile kick counter, then does a LONG set of rolling butterfly suplexes into a bridge for two. Candy one-ups her on a criss-cross, then counters her counter of the Rolling Germans for two. Candy knocks her to the floor but gets caught building her SmackDown! meter with a springboard enzuiknee and a Bridging German gets two. Kuzumi’s splash hits feet, but she manages a butterfly superplex after they re-set following Candy slipping. Straightjacket German gets two, but Kuzumi climbs and Candy catches her with a Northern Lights Superplex for a double-down- Kuzumi climbs and is caught again, but this time swings behind Candy and hits her top-rope Japanese Leg Roll Clutch for the shocker win at (11:20)- Kuzumi beats the midcarder! A true sign of her forward elevation, and Candy dropping falls on her way out.

I mean I’ve seen stronger tans, but come on.

ANATOMY OF A DISASTER: HULK HOGAN vs. STING AT STARRCADE:
-I’ve reviewed a lot of shitty matches for this column, but not a lot where you could make a strong case that they doomed the very company they were supposed to raise to the stratosphere. But here I’m gonna finally take a look at the much-requested main event of Starrcade 1997, and watch WCW step on its own dick in spectacular fashion.

THE STAGE: WCW Starrcade (Dec. 28th 1997)

THE PERFORMERS:
Hulk Hogan: The biggest star in history at the time, having undergone a revolutionary heel turn as the leader of the nWo- a bad-ass “Cool Heel” stable who sold tons of merchandise and drew fan acclaim despite being dirty cheaters. Hogan, at least, depicted himself as a cowardly, whiny heel, but still cut self-indulgent 20 minute promos about how he was a “Wrestling GOD!” with the whole nWo surrounding him. But he at least cowered and sniveled against deadly opponents, always treating Sting like he was an epic adversary he was afraid to fight. Hogan at this point had a complete stranglehold on the WCW Heavyweight Title, holding it for more than 500 days (with a 5-day Lex Luger reign in the middle).

Sting: WCW’s attempt at their own “Hulk Hogan” in the late 1980s and early 1990s, Sting was still a huge star, even after being a “Hogan Buddy” when the Hulkster himself came to WCW. But after Hogan’s heel turn, WCW’s guys began to doubt if Sting was on their side- hurt by the mistrust, Sting retreated into the rafters, dressing like Eric Draven in The Crow (then only a 3-year old movie, though the comic was older) and became a mute bad-ass. This made him as over as he’d ever been, as he’d silently stalk to the ring (or descend from the rafters on a harness) and murder a dude, then walk away.

The man lifted so much that he couldn’t pull his arms past this position at his sides. Naturally, he chose pro wrestling as a career. 

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Have I got a wild assortment for you tonight! Mostly a bunch of odd matches starring wrestlers in their early “Jobber” phases, as we get Jim Duggan and the Pitbulls as jobbers! But we start off with a very “1986 WWF Match”, as Big John Studd has to get something out of rookie monster Ted Arcidi, a powerlifter so muscular he couldn’t even put his arms at his sides. Ted does NOT last long in wrestling… and you’re about to see why. This is advertised as “The Ultimate MuscleBear Match”, which is an interesting stipulation.

Then it’s a 1989 WWF match as the Hart Foundation takes on… the Pitbulls?! Yes, a true Dream Match! Except… it’s Durante & Wolfe as jobbers. Roided up jobbers. And come see Hulk Hogan in the WWWF take on future “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan as a Skinny-Fat jobber in 1982! Then it’s over to NWA-TNA as I look into the bizarre JTTS Altar Boy Luke, and he’s up as a jobber against Crash Holly himself- Mad Mikey! And finally it’s WCW goodness as Pretty Wonderful (Paul Orndorff & Roma) vs. UNCLE FRED and “The latest jobber with a push” Mark Starr!

THE ULTIMATE MUSCLEBEAR MATCH:
BIG JOHN STUDD vs. TED ARCIDI:
(WWF TV, April 25th 1986)
* Yes, the video is titled just that! Presumably this is not how WWF advertised it, but the ’80s were a different time and I won’t judge. Studd is one of the top heels in the company- a 6’7″-ish giant feuding with Andre and other big guys, while Arcidi is a powerlifter hired on for his absolutely massive frame and credibility (the first man to bench press 700 lbs.), but he’s gone on to become an infamous example of bad wrestling. I’ve actually never seen him wrestle before, and couldn’t pick him out of a lineup of lifters. He’s in a teeny red singlet to show off his build, while Studd’s in the usual white tights.

GAEA JAPAN (Nov. & Dec. 1997):
* It’s more GAEA Japan! This time from a Nov. 30th show and a Dec. 13th show, then the Dec. 27th show, ending the year for GAEA! The first show takes place in what looks like outdoors, with big green panels behind the fans. NOPE, wait, other shots show it’s just a very brightly lit gym, with no seats sold on the upper decks.

MEIKO SATOMURA & TOSHIE UEMATSU vs. OZ ACADEMY (Chikayo Nagashima & Reiko Amano):
* A tag match with unusual partners, as Meiko (GAEA’s big ardent defender) teams up with Toshie this time, up against GAEA’s Chikayo and JWP’s Reiko. Meiko’s in red, Toshie’s in green, Chikayo’s in yellow/blue and Reiko’s in blue.

NWA-TNA (Episode #52):
(July 9th, 2003)
* Oh yeah, I’m gonna try my hand at TNA! Back in the first year+, when it was all about WWF, WCW & ECW cast-offs, looking like a weird hybrid of all three companies with guys who could never draw a dime mixing in with green stars of the future! TNA is a smorgasbord of messed-up ironic “Dream Matches” that I rarely touch on because it just doesn’t pop up much on my YouTube searches. Plus my natural distaste for Jeff Jarrett stuff until his modern “Memphis Heel” act, Brian Lawler, Glenn Gilberti and other losers. But there’s some truly fascinating stuff at play here because it’s a very weird time for the business, with the only real rival to WWF supremacy half squandering its role while also occasionally hitting on some really good stuff that goes nowhere. Case in Point: NWA World Champion AJ Styles is proving himself as a great wrestler… and his opponent is WWF cast-off D’Lo Brown. D’LO AS A MAIN EVENTER!

Last Week: Two floozies fought two other floozies! Jerry Lynn beat Justin Credible a chain match but got beaten up after! Babyface hero Jeff Jarrett got sent to the hospital by Vince Russo, Joe E. Legend & AJ Styles! oh god JOE E. LEGEND is in this promotion.

Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West.

NWA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
TORNADO TAG RULES (I guess):
AMERICA’S MOST WANTED (“Cowboy” James Storm & “Wildcat” Chris Harris) vs. JOHNNY SWINGER & SIMON DIAMOND (w/ Glenn Gilberti):
* Yes, DISCO INFERNO leading a pair of ECW midcard losers against the World Tag Champions. AMW were a legitimate success story of this era, with two generic-looking white guys actually forming a good team and getting over organically. Diamond is pastier and managed to do three years in ECW without ever getting a real push, and Swinger is a ripped dude with long hair who looks just a bit too much like every other ripped dude with long hair of the era. Glenn is in an ill-fitting shirt and doing commentary. Tenay asserts that AMW were in the “Match of the Year” (the cage match against Triple X), and Glenn gets all insider-y and says “Triple X CARRIED ‘EM! Dey carried dese guys!” and says that AMW aren’t athletes- “Cowboys do CHORES. Dey shovel shit and stuff!”. He is actively, with every sentence, showing just why WWE never hired him on, which is why we only remember him from WCW

GAEA G-PANIC! TOUR:
(Nov. 18th 1997)
* The only GAEA stuff up from November 1997, but it’s a pretty big one, as the veteran squad of Yamada & KAORU take on Oz Academy, and *LCO* invades GAEA Japan to fight Chigusa Nagayo & her rookie partner Sakura Hirota! These matches all end up being great examples of what becomes known as the “GAEA Sprint”, as they cut down on visible match time and just fling all their stuff at each other non-stop.

KAORU & TOSHIYO YAMADA vs. OZ ACADEMY (Sugar Sato & Chikayo Nagashima, w/ Mayumi Ozaki):
* Another “Veterans vs. Rookies” match, as the feuding KAORU & Yamada are teamed up against Ozaki’s goons, with the boss in tow in her street clothes. KAORU’s in light blue, Yamada’s in white/black, Sugar’s in white & Chikayo’s in blue/yellow.

I mean… it LOOKS cool! Maybe it won’t be so bad!

ANATOMY OF A DISASTER: THE DOOMSDAY CAGE!:
-hahaha yes, IT’S TIME! Reading about this in WCW Magazine way back in 1996, I was like “Wow, THREE CAGES!? Fighting off eight dudes in separate cages, fighting your way to the bottom? This sounds AWESOME!”. And I learn years later that this was an infamous disaster and is sometimes credited with the end of Babyface Hogan in WCW. And also that Jeep Swenson was called “The Final Solution” until someone wised up in the company. Overall, it stands as Peak Hogan Paranoia regarding his inability to ever look weak.

THE STAGE: WCW Uncensored (March 24th, 1996)

THE PERFORMERS:
Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage: Two of the biggest stars in wrestling history, having the phenomenal “Mega Powers” feud around WrestleMania V but mostly spent years apart in angles. But when Hogan went to WCW and had the entire company revolve around him, he brought in Savage (who was being put out to pasture by the WWF), who became his best buddy and opposition against Hogan’s rivals. Both guys are around 43, which was treated by the WWF at the time as them being completely ancient, despite being only a little older than me.

*deep breath*

Ric Flair: Turned heel again and quickly jobbed the WCW Title to Hogan, then led the opposition against him as the top heel. But got his ass kicked A LOT.
Arn Anderson: Flair’s best buddy IRL and in wrestling, used as his #2 guy. Career upper-midcarder.
Lex Luger: One of WCW’s biggest homegrown stars, but in a questionable position as he’d been a “New Hogan”-type dude who bounced from heel to face constantly, and now the real Hogan was here. Got hired on as a big coup by Eric Bischoff. Now a heel.

GWF TV TITLE TOURNAMENT:
(June 26th, 1991)
* It’s part two of the TV Title Tournament! We saw mostly clipped stuff last round, but I think these are mostly complete. It’s a one-night show, with The Patriot, Billy Black, Makhan Singh (Bastian Booger), Chris Walker, “Exotic” Adrian Street and Buddy Landell all mixed in for a tournament, then a playoff, then the Finals. A pretty wild assortment of guys- an up & coming Hogan knock-off, a rookie with a year spent in Japan copying some of their moves, a burly guy known for his Calgary run and later being a comedy heel, a roided tag guy, one of the most infamous “sissy heels” and the coke-snortingest guy in an industry of coke-snorters!

SEMI-FINALS:

THE PATRIOT vs. “BAD BOY” BILLY BLACK:
* It’s the Patriot in his flag-striped tights against Black in the black trunks. Patriot beat Stan Lane via rollup (smashing him into Jim Cornette) and Wild Bill Irwin with the Patriot Missile (flying shoulderblock), while Black beat Brian Adias by getting his feet up on a splash and holding the tights, then Randy Rhodes with a Moonsault. Black seemed to show some MOVEZ last match but Patriot is pretty hopeless- let’s see what we got.