Tank Abbott vs. Rick Steiner in a Shoot-Style Match (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I can’t decide what’s weirder to put as a headliner- Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner have a shoot-style match that’s ACTUALLY GOOD, or the FABULOUS FREEBIRDS come to All Japan and take on the greats! yes, Terry Gordy had a big run for almost a decade in AJPW, but I didn’t realize he brought his partners with him, so come see how Michael “P.S.” Hayes deals with the likes of Jumbo Tsuruta and plucky babyface The Great Kabuki!

And more Steinery goodness sees Scott Steiner try to take the TV Title from Stunning Steve Austin in 1992 WCW! Part of the short run of The Patriot in 1997 WWF as he feuds with Bret Hart and the Hart Foundation, and gets ready for a PPV Title Match by fighting a fading Sultan (Rikishi/Fatu) on WWF RAW! Then it’s over to the Global Wrestling Federation as a very green Booker T of the “Ebony Experience” takes on the future PUG, Alex Porteau! Then Alex Shelley faces this week’s PWI 500 guy, Sonico the Caucasian “Luchaghoul”in some Pacific Northwest indie that’s already dead!

TANK ABBOTT vs. RICK STEINER:
(WCW Thunder, June 21st 2000)
* hahahaha I was laughing when I was told about this one, then the person who shared it was like “wait, this was actually good!” so I just HAD to check it out! It’s Tank Abbott in his UFC black shorts out there fighting RICK STEINER, and it’s a SHOOT STYLE match! This has disaster written all over it. Rick Steiner in 2000 WCW is one of my least favorite wrestlers ever- an unprofessional jackass who wouldn’t sell for ANYONE and just stiffed the shit out of all his opponents and made a ton of guys with potential look like garbage while sitting around as this oddly dominant midcarder. Tank was a quick wrestling washout with an 8-month WCW run to his name and that’s about it. An infamous walking WrestleCrap nomination who never learned to work. So it’s IMPOSSIBLE that this could be good! IMPOSSIBLE, I say! Tank looks like a burly homeless man with a greying beard and a gut hanging down, while Rick’s in a black “Bite me!” singlet and has a full beard.

They square up immediately like real fighters and Tank just hoists Rick up for a shoot and dumps him on the mat. He goes for a heel hook but just sorta “headlocks” the foot and turns it the wrong way so it looks like a hold but really isn’t. Rick rolls out and makes the ropes, then pushes Tank into the corner and double-legs him down. Tank goes to the jujigatame (… did he ever use actual submission holds in UFC?) and Rick won’t let him complete it, but won’t use the ropes to break either, impressing Bobby Heenan. And then they stand up, stare each other down as the fans start to get excited, and they THROW FUCKIN’ HANDS, firing off snug lefts and rights as the fratboy crowd goes nuts, hooting and hollering for this display of manliness. Tank’s were mostly bear-paw shoves but everything was snug, and when Rick takes him down, Tank facelocks him. Rick pops his head out and they’re back at a standing position, Tank judo flipping him over and working a headlock while Rick claws at his face, and Rick finally gets out and Tank UNLOADS with a huge left uppercut that stuns him, and the Straight Right knocks Rick completely flat! Rick is out and struggling as the fans boo Tank, who raises his hands and is about to leave when Rick starts getting to his feet again! Tank, huffing and puffing, goes for the same right hand but Rick ducks him and fires off a chunky T-Bone Suplex that leaves Tank blown up, and Rick levels him with a Steinerline and works crossface punches, then a blown-up Tank is helpless to prevent a nasty headlock takeover and crank. Tank is dazed and so Rick uses the old UFC standby, the Flying Bulldog, to score the pin at (3:05).

Shots of the crowd actually RESPONDING WELL to this!

THIS DIDN’T SUCK! This had “disaster” written all over it, with one guy who couldn’t work and one guy who didn’t care to anymore, but they just went out and did Manly Man Stuff for three minutes and walloped the shit out of each other, impressing the fans who were way into the whole thing. Tank oddly has very good “worked punches”, presumably being one of the things he actually worked at because he could just paw guys or throw shots to the collar region and his size, speed and aura carried the day. Plus him and Rick were stiff as hell and putting some STINK on those suplexes. Man, they don’t heft dudes around like that anymore. Rick picking up a 100% clean win was unexpected- Tank sorta “had it won” and was about to walk away with a KO, so he looks kinda dumb, but Rick just trounced him in the end. Even Tank getting blown up “fit” because he punched himself out and Rick won because of it.

Rating: **1/4 (amazingly fun short match)

JUMBO TSURUTA & THE GREAT KABUKI vs. THE FABULOUS FREEBIRDS (Terry Gordy & Michael “P.S.” Hayes):
(All Japan, Jan. 22nd 1984)
* haha I found some Fabulous Freebirds ALL JAPAN action! Gordy was beloved by the promotion for being a younger, more ornery Stan Hansen-like Southern U.S. brawler, and his push kept building and building until his drug-addled coma killed his career. It’s wild the push went all the way back to the ’80s, and they initially tried to get the whole Freebirds in on the deal. Hayes in particular wrestles 36 matches for the company between two tours (January & October 1984), and Buddy Roberts is in another batch- Terry only wrestles a tiny handful of solo matches for the company, but the next year is Freebird-less as Gordy goes it alone. Also funny is the classic territory heel Great Kabuki now a babyface hero because he’s come back home, and actually gets over doing the same act. Everyone here’s in black- Hayes is a real vision, looking weirdly pale yet SUPER hairy, with a dark beard to go with his obnoxiously bright bleached hair- I mean I want to kick his ass immediately, which makes it a great heel look. Especially as he makes DDP-esque scrunchy faces at the natives.

Hayes looks around in disbelief at Kabuki’s mist-spraying and throws a fit around the ring, building the crowd’s amusement. He’s actually taller that I expected- quite a bit more than the flabby Kabuki. He eats shit off a spinkick and gets upset again, but manages to tag Gordy, who beats Kabuki up a bit. Hayes hits an elbowdrop and commentary is like “The weakness of his play is really noticeable”- lol, are they dissing Hayes’s ringwork? Kabuki thrust kicks out and IN COMES JUMBO, and immediately Hayes begs off, Gordy runs in and eats a Jumbo Knee, then Hayes does, sending him spiralling in a stiff, awkward cartoon bump so he can tag out to Gordy, who hahahahahah- just grabs Hayes by the hair and flings him into Jumbo to stun both with a head collision.

Gordy & Jumbo both can’t get backdrop suplexes off, but Gordy manages a delayed suplex and Hayes a hooking clothesline. Man Hayes moves like a puppeteer is controlling him- just limbs everywhere and all herky-jerky. He drops knees and an abdominal stretch, then Gordy dumps Jumbo for a beating on the floor. Jumbo quickly escapes and Gordy takes bumps off of Kabuki’s throat-thrusts and Hayes a superkick, but Gordy hits big boots and Hayes a bulldog. Hayes chokes him out and hits another neckbreaker, then barely sells a comeback & Gordy cheats from the apron. Kabuki gets mauled on the floor while Hayes distracts everyone, leaving him bleeding a ton (it starts dripping down his chest after they bite him, so you can tell). Gordy works the cut a while as Kabuki keeps licking his hand and finally fires back with throat-shots and a kick in the corner for two, and then Jumbo eats a double-elbow from the Freebirds, but this covers Kabuki getting the MIST ready- he spews it up to catch Gordy coming off the top rope, leaving him stumbling around ringside and into the chairs while Hayes tries to rein him in, and the Japanese win by Count-Out at (12:58).

A pretty simple match that’s 90% beatdown on Plucky Babyface Kabuki, who bleeds a ton but doesn’t sell that much so the fans aren’t really provoked into super-sympathy for him. They were obviously keeping Jumbo/Gordy hidden to build anticipation for a singles clash (there was one for each Freebirds tour that year). Hayes looked terrible but was good at his main job, which was antagonizing people.

lol I think they’re shit-talking how bad Hayes’s wrestling is. All Japan commentary was MERCILESS about guys sucking.

Rating: **1/4 (a decently long match that’s a pretty easy watch)

There’s actually a BUNCH of Freebirds AJPW content out there (including a 6-man against the AJPW dream team), so I’ll probably check out some other ones.

WCW TELEVISION TITLE:
STUNNING STEVE AUSTIN (w/ Madusa) vs. SCOTT STEINER:
(WCW Saturday Night, March 14th 1992)
* The top guys in both companies in 1999! But here they’re midcarders trying to get over that hump! Austin’s wearing very Steiner-like shorts- bright flowery patterns over dark blue. Scott’s in bisected colors- a red/pink and Saved By The Bell opening colors on the other half.

Both guys fight for single-legs to start, Steiner pushing back Austin and repeatedly getting provoked by Madusa every time he puts him on the mat. Scott gets headlocks but Austin keeps yoinking the hair to lock headscissors in for a sec. A quick International sees Austin hit with an inverted atomic drop into the overhead belly-to-belly, sending him writhing to the floor- he comes back with the DISINGENUOUS HANDSHAKE and immediately attacks, but runs into a Steinerline and Scott keeps pressing him with mat wrestling- I always loved how early ’90s Scott just tied guys up in knots. Austin uses the ring to his advantage (busting a shoulder to the gut from the apron), but Scott also counters being dumped with a strike and hits the butterfly suplex. Scott beats him up on the floor (somehow I don’t think a backbreaker hurts more out there), but he sails over the top on a Steinerline attempt and Madusa punts him out there. Scott nearly backflips over a railing and just about blasts the camera on a whip and Austin keeps getting double-axehandles, cutting off another comeback and hitting a vertical suplex into a chinlock for the comeback, but Austin again wipes him out- nice clothesline. Austin uses the ropes in another chinlock, then pulls the hair, but Scott fires off a pumphandle slam- but he misses an elbow and Austin gets two. But he puts his head down early so Scott goes into MOVEZ MODE- Tiger Driver! Belly-To-Belly Suplex! Frankensteiner! And immediately the Dangerous Alliance hits the ring to save Austin’s belt, and it’s a DQ at (11:43). Yeah it was either that or a time limit. Rick Steiner promptly comes in and sends the heels running, but Arn gets dizzied and Rick actually hits the Flying Bulldog and Scott counts the pin, lolz.

A very solid, hard-hitting match- nothing extraordinary or all-out and very chinlocky in the back half but I liked the amateur-style stuff and Austin could easily go along with Steiner during those exchanges, then pull off heel stuff and carry the match along by fighting dirty or cutting off comebacks.

Rating: **1/2 (like it’s nothing OUTSTANDING and they weren’t going for a mega-push or anything but it was two of the best dudes in the company at the time having a solid TV match)

THE PATRIOT vs. THE SULTAN (w/ The Iron Sheik):
(WWF RAW, Aug. 4th 1997)
* So the Patriot is a weird little bit of WWF history- as Bret was getting a lot of heat as a Canadian patriot speaking of the evils of America, the company needed a “Filler Challenger” for a bit as various pieces on the card moved together to face him. And so indie wrestler The Patriot, who was a WCW midcarder/tag guy and was mostly in Global, was trotted out despite being a masked guy and a pretty middling worker. As this was the “show real personalities” era of wrestling (… y’know, except for Kane, The Sultan…), he was a bit of an odd fit, but the played up that he was “The Patriot, Del Wilkes”. In a hillbilly accent, he decides to start SHOUTING about Bret, admitting that his comments about America stung “because there is some truth to it” (presumably the gun violence that was a major part of Bret’s aggressive remarks), but he says that the biggest problem with America, “Is YOU, Bret Hart!”. And so the Patriot will show his love for his country by defeating someone else who isn’t from there- the “Middle Eastern” Sultan (Fatu under a mask). Patriot had beaten Bret on RAW (one of only two shows I missed for YEARS, since I was in Japan at the time) and was set to face him at Ground Zero. Of course, Patriot’s theme is a less noisy version of the theme that went to Kurt Angle years later. No more Bob Backlund for the Sultan, whose push is donezo.

Middling reaction for the Patriot, who I think was recognized by everyone as a temporary challenger at best- he waves the flag against the Sultan’s EVIL Iranian flag, but turns his back like a moron and gets blasted with the flagpole. The Sultan hits a backdrop suplex and poses, clotheslines Patriot, but ends up selling left hands as Wilkes Patriots Up and stops selling. Patriot oddly spins around the OPPOSITE way before throwing another left while Jerry Lawler suggests that anyone who wraps themselves in the flag needs to be watched (“Samuel Johnson said that patriotism is the last refuge of the SCOUNDREL!”). Sultan charges into the post and is stunned enough to eat the Patriot Missile (flying shoulderblock), and the Uncle Slam (full nelson slam) finishes for the Patriot at (1:44). Wow, pulverized that dude in two minutes- RIP Sultan’s push. Bret Hart comes out with Owen & Bulldog in tow, but they’re pushed back by Commissioner Slaughter, leaving Bret alone- he turns around in confusion and the Patriot attacks from behind using AMERICAN COWARDICE. Bret bravely fights back before he has to rely on the services of the corrupt and oppressive American health care system, and the officials pull them apart, just as the American legal system pulls apart proper gun laws! IS THERE NO END TO THIS INJUSTICE? BRET WAS RIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHH- no, no, I am calm.

Match was a fine squash- Sultan hits a couple things, misses a move, and gets pinned with a two-move series. He’s a big enough guy with a manager & theme song to suggest he’s not just a jobber, so it means a tiny bit more when you… beat him just like a jobber.

Rating: *1/2 (quickie match, but about as good as a 2-minute match is gonna be)

My favorite heel spot: going for a handshake when you’re not actually friendly and everyone can tell you’re insincere.

BOOKER T vs. ALEX PORTEAU:
(Global Wrestling Federation, Dec. 18th 1992)
* IT’S THE PUG!! In his pre-WWF state as a heavily muscled newbie! And he’s going up against “Ebony Experience” era Booker T. Booker’s in funny bisected neon yellow/red trunks, while Porteau is beefy and in bisected black and white shorts. Still dwarfed by Booker, though. wow, I never realized how ugly the Pug was before now that he’s sneering. And not “ugly cute” like actual pugs. Just “ugly unpleasant”.

Porteau goes for the DISINGENUOUS HANDSHAKE immediately, then whines about Booker pulling his hair. Booker hits a headlock for a while, just dropping him while he’s draped on the top rope so he whines again- Booker slaps his hand away then hits a hiptoss, armdrag & dropkick to put the future Pug on the floor, and he stalls before trying to flip Booker and getting caught with his legs up. Porteau’s doing a pretty good job of being a whiny bitch heel. He even knows to sell after hitting a headbutt as he makes a comeback, but Booker just knocks him down, sunset flips him and more, but Porteau manages a backdrop suplex out of a headlock, then a vertical suplex and resthold that isn’t so much a chinlock as a head vice. Booker fights out of a piledriver with a back body drop but goes up and misses an elbow, but Porteau gets cocky and the flying nothing lands on Booker’s boot- both throw shots and Booker backdrops him again, but Porteau runs right into He Calls It The Rear View, but manages to grab the ropes to avoid a dropkick, and THAT gets the three at (8:37), Booker actually kicking out but not really lifting his shoulders and I guess that counts.

A perfectly cromulent TV match with a bad finish- I guess you could play it up as Booker getting too aggressive (he misses an elbow before the finish), but the “failed dropkick” isn’t really pin-worthy most of the time. Porteau did a good job as a whiny heel, even if he just sticks to the basic old stuff, and Booker did his job as a young up & comer, already hitting impressive leaps and athletics well.

Rating: ** (solid TV bout)

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: SONICO:
Appearances: #493 in 2022, #342 in 2023, #335 in 2024

-Sonico is “The Lucha Ghoul”, wrestling exclusively on the West Coast, usually the Pacific Northwest (ie. he’s a white guy doing a luchador gimmick), and has been at it since 2012, wrestling mostly for micro-indies. The industry kinda ignores a lot of West Coasters and apparently the PWI 500 is notorious for focusing entirely on the East Coast (which, to be fair, has more of a cluster of population), but some squat, kinda soft-bellied guy who isn’t acrobatic enough to do actual lucha spots isn’t really gonna get a lot of looks regardless. He’s one of many “does 3-4 matches for each indie during the year” guys so he hasn’t made much of a name for himself. He appeared semi-frequently in 3-2-1 BATTLE! in Seattle from 2016 till it died in 2020, then moved to Prestige Wrestling in Oregon from then until it died in 2026, making him some sorta kiss of death for Western Indies, lol. He’s also been an AEW jobber from time to time, often getting squashed in less than a minute- Powerhouse Hobbs, an Archer/Cage team, and more have defeated him- he was once “Mr. Frog”, teaming with a lady to job to Orange Cassidy & Willow Nightengale. A 14-year vet who appears to just be doing this as a side-job in dying indies, from the looks of things.

PRESTIGE WRESTLING & REVOLVER REMIX TITLES:
ALEX SHELLEY vs. SONICO:
(Prestige Wrestling, Feb. 17th 2023)
* Shelley calls out Sonico and does a very modern thing about how they need to give THE FANS A GOOD SHOW (ugh I hate promos like that lol) when Alan Angels (oh lord) comes out to cut a promo, as the camera pulls away and reveals that all three wrestlers are barely taller than the ring ropes and dwarfed by the referee, haha. “I’ll be talkin’ all night because I don’t give a FUCK!”. He whines about having replaced Sonico as the “new fucking Ace of Prestige Wrestling” (Sonico calls himself that, I guess- who wants to be the Ace in a promotion that draws 40 people?). It’s funny seeing them swear and swear, which is usually the indication fisticuffs are about to happen because wrestlers are supposed to be IMPULSIVE MEN making IRRATIONAL DECISIONS but in this case they let him jaw and jaw and say “fuck” a bunch, then Sonico just sprays him with the green mist and Angels whines as he’s pushed away by security.

They do some chain-wrestling on the mat that is ALMOST good but looks kinda like Sonico’s sorta going along for the ride and there’s only a bit of contact going on, especially with the camera zoomed up their assholes- you can see stuff like Sonico handstanding out of a headscissors in a way that shows there was zero resistance, then awkwardly roll along Shelley’s body. Commentary declares “The mid-west can go KICK ROCKS!” because Pacific Northwest wrestling is where it’s at (other commentator goes “WOAH-HO!” to those strong words). Just from the first couple minutes I can tell Shelley is solid but Sonico is CLUNKY- very herky-jerky with his movements, which are supposed to be lucha-esque, and you can see Shelley having to position himself for all the La Majistrals & leaping elbows. Sonico misses a corner attack and gets his knee dropkicked, but manages an embarrassing Tarantula.

Shelley finally catches him in the ropes with a dragon screw, then cranks on the knee a bunch with more dragon screws in the ropes, then a submission hold, kneebreaker & figure-four. Sonico fires back with whirling forearms and a penalty kick, doing the “Test Sell” with the leg between “agile” moves. He hits a slingshot shoulderblock but gets flatlinered into the turnbuckles as the crowd actually gives THIS a half-hearted “this is awesome!” chant, which almost sounds like it’s out of pity. Border City Stretch (crossface-ish thing) and Sonico quickly makes the ropes. Shelley snaps the arm but Sonico hits an enzuigiri (you can do those to the chest now, apparently)- Shelley can’t get the Shellshock (Sister Abigail) and Sonico puts him down with the Aneurysm (leaping double-knee to the back of the head, driving him into the mat) for two. Sonico fires back after some rolling elbows and hits a Snapdragon into Tajiri’s Buzzsaw Kick for two. Sonico goes up, but Shelley distracts the ref so Angels can “crotch” Sonico, who takes a super-delicate bump on his nuts. Shelley is UPSET by this cheating and nearly gets rolled up, but a kickout leaves Sonico getting his head smashed by the belt, and Shelley doesn’t see it, hitting the Shellshock to retain at (15:00).

Man, Sonico is REALLY BAD, as he’s trying to do “Modern Wrestler Offense” but just way too unathletic and clunky. He has a broad, squat body, which isn’t the best for that kind of stuff, but for a guy under 5’10”, he’s moving worse than The Beast Mortos, who is WAY bigger overall. This whole match looked like Shelley was in “Christopher Daniels in the 2000s Indies” mode, being the professional carry-artist going from town to town to make Super Dragon-type guys look like they knew how to work. Because Sonico looks like he was fighting for an AEW contract but I can bet anyone who wrestled him was like “no, lol- regional wrestler at best” to the powers at be, so no-go. Checking Prestige Wrestling’s YouTube page… I see they ended in April 2026. The match is mostly interesting from a scholarly perspective, as in “how can a good wrestler handle a bad one?” as Shelley is often trying to move fast but not TOO fast to leave this guy in the dust, sometimes gets too far ahead, has to set up stuff and then act like feather-light impacts did real damage and not mess up his incompetent opponent.

Rating: *1/2 (poor Shelley had to get 15 minutes out of this dink)