Joshi Spotlight: ARSION in Spring 2002

ARSION IN SPRING 2002:
* So ARSION releases very, very little in 2002, which is a REALLY bad year for them, but matches are split up enough I can cover some of them in a big chunk. Or I WOULD if I hadn’t been half-dead from strep throat and unable to eat even ice cream without pain for a week, so uhhhhhhhhh here’s two matches! It woulda been two LONG ones, but just as I finished the second I checked and sure enough it’s from October so is way out of place at this point, so it’s an even weaker review than normal! I might have the second half of early 2002 up later in the week since now I’m sure I’m not dying- we’ll see.

MARCH 26th:
* This is from some TINY show. Like the bottom-tier of a Zenjo tour or something. This is the best a tag title defense can do?

TWIN STAR OF ARSION TITLES:
CYBERJUNK (Michiko Omukai & Ai Fujita) vs. LIONESS ASUKA & GAMI:
* Wait I forgot Cyberjunk were given the belts already, haha.

The challengers attack to start and we see them throw some baby strikes against the table. Fujita utterly butchers a headscissors then Orihara Moonsaults the air beside GAMI as we’re getting the “house show effort”. Out in the stands, Asuka sets up the “audience helps with an abdominal stretch” comedy bit, then her & GAMI “bump” into each other trying lariats. This needs Ernie Ladd screaming out “Butch Reed! Every time you are STEALIN’ from Mid-South havin’ matches like that!”. Oh, but there’s a high thing for Fujita to leap off of! That’s something! Commentary puts over Omukai’s “one flaw” since becoming champion- she gets agigated too quickly and flies off without thinking. GAMI does comedy bits in the ring, getting crotched trying a ropewalk- Fujita does her cartwheel handspring, Omukai getting as good a reaction for some hair whips. Omukai arrogantly cheers herself on hitting an X-Factor, then flies onto the other team when they catch Fujita, catching them on all sides. Fujita putters around, finally mounting a comeback Asuka is SUPER CAREFUL to sell.

Fujita bumbles around hitting increasingly poor comebacks out of Asuka finishers until Omukai sets up her moonsault. Lioness gets the Iconoclams, but is dropped by an Omukai “combo”. Omukai keeps selling kicks to the brain with the exact same motion every time, going down for two, but she gets an insta-comeback with three straight VERY soft-looking “Ax kicks” for two. GAMI then slows it down AGAIN with goofy eyepokes, and hits the lamest flying elbow ever, moving like she’s afraid she’ll get hurt. More meandering & Fujita gets La Majistral for two. 450 misses, but she lands on her feet from a German & Straighjacket Germans GAMI for two. Omukai runs into three straight counter-kicks like a dumbass, then GAMI does, but Omukai gets a shitty Shining Wizard and everyone runs in. GAMI sneaks in a shotei, but Omukai comes back with the B3 Bomb (sit-out Razor’s Edge)… for two! Omukai hits another Wizard, but Asuka sets up GAMI’s pumphandle sit-out bomb- Fujita saves. Cross-armed Michinoku Driver (Adios, Amiga)… a natural kickout! But a second Adios Amiga pins Fujita at (16:50)- Asuka & GAMI already winning the Tag Belts from CyberJunk!

Sooo, so bad. Like four people with the gameplan for totally opposite matches. Omukai was doing a “rapturous babyfaces absorbs everything & kicks all the asses” match, Asuka was doing a “lazy day at the office” carry-job, Fujita was doing a MOVEZ match (but as usual had no idea how tricky things like “flow” and “how not to stand there like you’re waiting for the next thing” works), and GAMI was doing a comedy match while trying not to hurt herself. And this was LONG, too- long enough to have lots of overly-complicated routines or set-up spots that are just someone standing there in place waiting for the next move. It was a tag title match that rarely felt like it because the effort level seemed poor so nobody was tearing around desperately trying to save their own belts until the very end.

Rating: *1/4 (pathetic for a match such as this- I just kept waiting for it to end)

APRIL 24th:

ETSUKO MITA vs. RENA TAKASE:
* A very random one, as Mita’s strotted out in a rare singles appearance to beat up the rising rookie. Mita’s in a ridiculously frilly white feathered top with elaborate leather gloves.

Takase keeps dramatically repositioning herself and trying to grapple Mita, who just has this “you gotta be fucking kidding me, rook” look on her face as she ignores all of it. Finally she’s goaded into doing the test of strength, powering her down with one hand vs. two, but Takase comes back with ROOKIE FIRE, being slapped down repeatedly by an annoyed monster, who piledrivers her and hangs in a camel clutch for a while, talking smack and showing off those rad gloves. Mita does a funny “backdrop lift but just dumps her from that position” move and slowly Boston crabs Rena, who can’t get anything going as even a sunset flip has them in the ropes, but she’s finally able to pull Mita away and do a heel hook. She hits another one, and even manages a slow-mo judo flip into a jujigatame, then spams knee attacks to slowly bring Mita down. A flying crossbody has Mita roll over her for two, but she’s still struggling. Rena snaps off another dropkick to the knee, but Mita repositions a headlock into a big backdrop suplex, Takase dramatically kicking out at one and fighting & fighting for a German Suplex, finally landing it for two. A dramatic missile dropkick hits and Mita’s like “kay, fuck it” and plasters her with a banana yellow chair, but tries the DVD and gets German’d AGAIN and Rena goes in for the spear. Mita just slugs her down for two via leverage, but Takase rolls out of the DVD and charges and a second Spear gets two. But big Mita is slow to get up and hits a Stunner to buy herself some time. Rena counters the next to a backslide for a close call, but one too many Irish whips sees Mita Blazing Chop her, and the Death Valley Driver gets three at (11:26).

A pretty good “foregone conclusion” Big vs. Little match, Mita being dominated through the kid’s speed tactics, but it always being clear she just needed a clearing or two to easily take the lead. Takase showed persistence in going after confirmed weak points like the knee, kept ramping up the speed to her benefit, but would still get caught once in a while and had no match for Mita’s big offense. This seemed like a good way to assess Takase’s advancing as a worker; someone who was reliable and good without being flashy to show what she was capable of.

Rating: **1/2 (very solid extended Big vs. Little bout)