Macho Man Randy Savage & Adrian Adonis vs. Tito Santana & Bruno Sammartino (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! The WWE Vault just opened up a TON of amazing stuff from the MSG Network, and I just had to check out “Macho Man” Randy Savage & Adrian Adonis vs. Tito Santana & BRUNO SAMMARTINO! And the prelude is a Savage/Santana match with Bruno as Special Guest Referee! Bruno’s “Legend” run in the middle of the Hogan Era is always interesting to me. This is actually before the Savage/Bruno feud that set off later in the year, too. Then it’s a $50,000 MSG Battle Royal featuring all the teams of 1986 WWF- Islanders! Studd & Bundy! Volkoff & Sheik! ROTUNDA & SD JONES!! also the Harts, Rougeaus, Bulldogs, Machines, Dream Team and even a Strongbow/Gatorwolf team of all things. Tremendous fun.

Then it’s a lucha match, as those quartets that actually made WWF RAW in 1997 have a bout in their native Mexico- the Power Ranger-styled Los Cadetes el Espacio (Venum, Super Nova, Discovery & Ludxor) take on the heel Los Galacticos (Mosco, Abismo Negro, Maniaco & Histeria)! And finally, our PWI 500 guy of the week is N8 Mattson, who has a long, drawn-out indie match with the ex-TNA wrestler Petey Williams in front of thirty people!

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE BRUNO SAMMARTINO:
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. TITO SANTANA:
(May 19th, 1986)
* Starting off is why Bruno’s involved- he’s here to ensure the rules be followed as Savage, a renowned cheater and dirty-fighter, has another title defense against the ex-champion Tito. The two had been feuding for MONTHS before this and continued for months after, Savage earning a lot of DQ and Count-Out losses but always retaining as the two carried the feud for like six months. Randy, “the not-so Macho Man” per Monsoon, keeps provoking Tito and then immediately pulling Elizabeth in front of him to play mind games before the match. He’s in red & yellow; Tito’s in blue & black.

Immediately the stakes are made clear- Savage & Santana grapple to the corner and Bruno demands a break, causing Macho to SNAP and kick at the ropes and stick a finger in the Living Legend’s face- RULES? This shall not stand! But Bruno refuses to back down. Tito does a quick go-behind, but Savage instead insults someone in the front row until Tito musses up his hair, then SPITS on Tito and immediately bails to the floor so that “Latin Temper” has nowhere to lash out. Haha what a dick. Hey some balding fan is decked out EXACTLY like Hulk Hogan there. Savage goes up to do his finger-point taunt, then stalls again, then pushes a chair into the ring, only for Bruno to shove it right out and even that gets a pop- the old man is over. A fan tosses in some garbage and Macho annoys Bruno by DEMANDING he remove it before finally getting back to wrestling. And he bails as soon as Tito counters his go-behind, then shoves Elizabeth in front of him and is sure to get back in the ring first to threaten Tito upon entrance. Bruno has to push him back, and then he whines about kneepads or some shit and the fans are into it even though Savage is stalling like a motherfucker here. He’s done so little physical work but he’s doing WORK, ya know?

haha wrestling is so awesome. Savage comes off with his specialty move and is like “OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” as Santana readies his counter.

Tito cranks on his arm and Randy bails, then eats an overhand elbow between the eyes and demands that be a DQ. I like how they keep involving Bruno in things. Savage gets an armdrag but they tie up in the ropes and Bruno has to chop their grip to break it- Savage gets right up in his face but the old man isn’t having it, drawing a big reaction just for backing Savage into the corner. Real pro shit. But Savage finally necksnaps Tito on the middle rope and leaps PAST Bruno to deliver a flying axehandle to the back. Savage gets a knee and Bruno’s issue as a ref is he takes FOREVER to drop to his knees so all the counts are fucked up- thankfully there’s only 2 thus far. Savage manages to pull hair during a chinlock, and takes exception to Bruno’s slow counting before another chinlock and he dumps Tito out of a comeback. Flying Axehandle Suicida! Kneedrop gets two, and fisticuffs lead to a collision for a double-down- Savage’s up first and the Flying Axehandle… is punched right outta the air! Savage pinballs around for Tito offense, bouncing off the mat. Back body drop and Tito has him, but Savage rushes to the ropes to avoid the Figure-Four and puts up his knee. Tito’s out of it, but fires back with a small package and right hands, and the big forearm sets up the Figure-Four! But Savage goes to the eyes to block it, and a Saito suplex (!) gets two. Savage goes for a theatrical atomic drop but no! Tito blocked it and immediately grabs the leg behind him to pull Savage down and the Figure-Four hits! The crowd comes alive but then a very obese woman hits the ring and kicks Bruno in the ass! Wait- it’s ADRIAN ADONIS IN DISGUISE! He throws out a big splash on Tito to break the hold and kicks his ass until Bruno sends MSG into a frenzy by punching him in the gut and slamming him, but Savage comes flying in with an axehandle! The dastardly heels hit a slingshot/clothesline combo on the old man and they keep dropping bombs on him until Tito chases them off with a chair. What a Pearl Harbor job! Bruno recovers just enough to award it to Tito at (13:35) and then STOMP THE WIG because how dare that sissy!

Randy was physical perfection as a wrestler at this point- big enough to be threatening, but small enough to be fast. He sells EVERYTHING to the heavens, doing full-body lurches and lunges off of every strike in a way you can only do before your turn a certain age… wow he was 34 here? Crazy. But just the way he’d collapse or bounce off of things like being rammed into the mat. And the mental work was just as good, doing little things to establish Sammartino’s presence and how shenanigans weren’t gonna be allowed. And then after the mental games were done they had the kind of match they can pull off in their sleep, doing precision brawling and selling until Adonis comes in to rob Tito of his rightful belt.

Rating: ***1/2 (lots of Memphisery and WWF-style theatrics by two of the ’80s wrestlers with the best chemistry in the company)

What a cast of characters. The wildman Savage, his manager the lovely Elizabeth, that little runt Jimmy Hart, and a gay-baiting heel in full drag queen makeup.

“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE & ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (w/ Miss Elizabeth & Jimmy Hart) vs. TITO SANTANA & BRUNO SAMMARTINO:
(June 14th, 1986)
* And so we must have a fight when they hit the arena the next month! Savage is in mustard yellow gear with green boots- ugly. Adonis is in black trunks, Sammartino in blue & Tito now in red.

The heels immediately pounce the babyfaces the second they rush into the ring and we’re off! Savage promptly bails but Sammartino launches around that SISSY and throws off his lavender scarf and whips him upside-down into the corner and Savage runs in just to be thrown over the top rope. He tosses a chair into the ring but Bruno throws it right back his way, then slams Savage into the turnbuckles on the apron while Santana javelins Adonis into the ringpost shoulder-first. Savage pulls Elizabeth in front of him and escapes while Bruno’s like “can you believe this fucking pussy?” to the fans. But Savage is finally able to knee Tito from behind, allowing Adonis to slam him on the concrete. And after all that, NOW it’s time to stall- Tito limps back while Savage avoids fighting Bruno, but gets caught up top posing and Bruno beats the shit out of him, throws him into Adonis, then whips him off the ropes for a giant boot to the gut after Tito adds a punch. Then more beats sets up Tito slugging away on Savage & Adonis- Savage sure does love that face-smash bump because he does it twice here, just VAULTING off when Tito smashes him into the mat.

Bruno cheats and smashes Savage into the other corner and Tito necksnaps him, and they have to pull his beaten body away from Adonis, but Bruno’s boots to the back finally push him over into a tag. Adonis waves his arms around while Bruno desperately waits to punish him, then hits three armdrags in a row and the babyfaces bop Adonis between them as the heels are just getting MAULED today. Adonis tries some offense but Tito hits a GIANT crossbody that Monsoon correctly points out is way off the mark (basically a glancing blow Adonis sells), but Adrian gets a big backdrop suplex and tags a crippled Savage, who immediately loses to Bruno and bails. Savage finally gets back in and AGAIN gets completely destroyed, and Tito just throws a chair into his face right in front of the ref and that’s totally fine so Adonis has to break the pin. Savage wobbles in place out of dizziness but gets knocked into Adonis, who FINALLY gets some real offense catching Tito shaking his fist like he does, throwing boots and a slam, and the FATASS FLYING SPLASH only hits knees, but Savage comes in with a Flying Axehandle to the spine. Adonis misses an elbowdrop but immediately tags Savage, but in comes Bruno again! Everyone fights all over the place, going to the floor, but Adonis sneak attacks Tito for trying to beat up Jimmy Hart and gets beaten up by Bruno, which allows Savage to fly in with an axehandle to the floor, killing the babyfaces and leaving them to the referee’s Count Out at (9:41), those dastardly heels stealing one. This actually leads to a Steel Cage match the next month! Sadly that one’s not on the Vault yet.

lmao this was one of the most one-sided beatdowns I’ve EVER seen, the heels scoring maybe 1 complete move in nine minutes until that bit right near the end. What an outstanding showcase of Adrian & Randy’s selling capabilities as they bump and fly all over the place for every single move, flinging themselves like pinballs off of the simplest shit. You’ll notice Bruno spent almost the entire match throwing strikes or being dead-center in the ring with guys moving around him- an ideal way to handle and aging opponent (or an inexperienced one- WWE does this with Jade Cargill in their current matches- you’d best not have your less-capable people running around doing complicated spots). Bruno ends up flinging Adonis around with armdrags then simply whipping people off the ropes and slugging away on them.

Rating: ***1/4 (another great bit of fun- one of the most all-action WWF matches I’ve ever seen, which is miraculous considering one of the competitors is over 50)

Steve Gatorwolf was WWF’s attempt at replacing Strongbow, and look who comes out of retirement and is immediately buried on commentary, haha.

$50,000 TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL:
BOTH ARE ELIMINATED IF ONE PARTNER IS OUT:
THE GIANT JOHN STUDD & KING KONG BUNDY, THE MACHINES (Big & Super Machine), THE BRITISH BULLDOGS (Davey-Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid), THE HART FOUNDATION (Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart), THE DREAM TEAM (Brutus Beefcake & Greg Valentine), NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & THE IRON SHEIK, THE INDIANS (Chief Jay Strongbow & Steve Gatorwolf), THE KILLER BEES (B. Brian Blair & Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell), THE ISLANDERS (Haku & Tama), MIKE ROTUNDA & SD JONES, THE ROUGEAU BROTHERS (Jacques & Raymond Rougeau) & THE MOONDOGS (Rex & Spot):
(Oct. 20th, 1986)
* A wild combination of teams from that same MSG collection. All the top teams, plus I guess Steve Gatorwolf was there. I didn’t know he made the WWF (*checks* oh that’s the ONLY place he really was- also wow he was a worse person than he was a wrestler!). Monsoon & Hayes have a laugh at Strongbow coming out of retirement for this one (“What is HE doing out there?” “You should be up there with him, Gorilla!”). I love Valentine swatting Gorilla & Mean Gene playfully on his way by just to be a dick. The Rougeaus were then generic babyfaces in black trunks. The Harts were in black singlets with pink lines on the sides, too. I swear the Machines get the biggest reaction (they were Hulk buddies at this point). 24 guys are in the thing, but partner eliminations make things a bit easier.

Not nine seconds after the bell rings does Spot walk up to Big Machine and immediately get throw over the top. I guess we know who the bottom-tier team is. Dynamite decides to get into a headbutt contest with HAKU on the hard cam while everyone else does the Lazy Lean. Oh man, Brian Blair has Iron Sheik up on his shoulders- no wonder Sheiky Baby wanted to FUCK HIM IN ASS, MAKE HIM HUMBLE. A story develops with multiple guys repeatedly teaming up on Bundy, requiring Studd to save him- this marks them as the men to beat! The Bees & Beefcake (… the lost “B”?) nearly put out Bret but he slinks back in. Bret’s really putting his work in, making sure he’s on camera a lot and doing something other than just lying against the ropes (witness him sell a turnbuckle by scrunching up against it and sliding down). Monsoon is prompted by Okerlund to bring up his quabble about how much he hated battle royals- “all those fists and feet flying around” while Sheik dumps SD Jones, ending the random thrown-together team with Rotunda, who beats Bundy’s ass until they finally get his attention. I like the realism of guys not immediately bailing when their partner is gone- it sells the match’s chaos. Bundy has to save Studd from the Rougeaus and we get a LOT of partner saves throughout to put over the requirements. The Indians & Sheik/Volkoff lean against the ropes until Gatorwolf is finally flipped over and is gone. Everyone buries Strongbow the road agent (“Waved that fifty grandski under his nose and walked right out of retirement” “hahaha” “Greed rears its ugly head once again”), and Sheik does the “wild punch” elimination, sailing over Big Machine! He hits his head on a chair and gets Volkoff to check it out.

The Bulldogs & Harts had an issue, so Bret & Dynamite do a quickly lean and flip over the top at once, brawling on the floor to eliminate both, and they bail as the Rougeaus & Haku nearly push Bundy out. Studd sells a TON for Blair of all people while the Islanders take on Super Machine, who fires back and is openly like “aw fuck it” and just walks away, haha. But out goes Jim Brunzell, who’s had Beefcake up on the ropes for ages but gets backdropped out. The Rougeaus & Islanders slug it out, Haku countering a backdrop by almost shoot-hauling Jacques back into the ring. The Islanders beat up Raymond while Jacques does the “missed punch” from earlier and STUDD quickly backdrops him out. But then Beefcake does the same thing and sails over a Machine! Big Machine actually has Studd up for a slam, but he saves himself and Bundy charges from behind, eliminating the Machines from the thing. Good spot, there. And now it’s the undersized Islanders going up against the monster squad of Bundy & Studd. The heels laugh their asses off, writing off the young babyface duo, then mauling them in the corner, but Haku fires back on Studd! But Tama dies to an Avalanche from Bundy, sliding to the mat. And this leaves poor Haku alone, and the bigs just destroy him, then confidently set up a move you can see backfiring from a mile away- Studd holds his arms while Bundy charges in to sandwich Haku between them… but Haku MOVES, resulting in Studd eating shit and flinging over the top rope- the Islanders win (10:41)! Suck it, Bundy & Studd! See what your overconfidence has wrought?

A fun little battle royal- lots of leaning to start, then Bret trying to do some interesting, showy selling (probably wants Vince to notice how hard he’s working). Lots of guys just disappeared into things (Brunzell, Volkoff, Neidhart, Valentine- tbf he needed another five minutes to warm up). Smart booking by leaving a lower-tier team (Rougeaus) in late so we’d get an exciting elimination, then smart booking having the favorite Machines go out to heel sneak attacks, thus making it look extra hopeless for the much smaller Islanders. Though doing three “lean up against the ropes, then take a wild swing and go over” eliminations out of 11 is pretty lazy agenting.

Rating: **3/4 (even bad battle royals are good, but good ones are better! I love seeing all the wild colors and characters flying about in these, even if they spend a lot of time fucking around)

LOS CADETES DEL ESPACIO (Venum, Super Nova, Discovery & Ludxor) vs. LOS GALACTICOS (Abismo Negro, El Mosco, Histeria & Maniaco):
(AAA, June 9th 1997)
* Hey look! I found a match featuring all the luchadores that WWF brought in for that one week in 1997! The Good Guy Power Rangers gimmick who all got new names and gimmicks after a lawsuit was threatened, and their opponents! Venum is green, Nova blue, Discovery yellow and Ludxor in black & red. Mosco is in a plethora of neon colors, Abismo is in black & green, Histeria’s that plus orange, and Maniaco is… a member of KISS.

PRIMERA CAIDA: The technicos knock the rudos to the floor and hit quadruple stereo dives before the match even begins! Maniaco & Ludxor do a very choreographed bit- Ludxor gets a headscissors from the 2nd rope but Maniaco does a lariat from there. Discovery embarrasses Mosco, but Histeria beats up Venum and poses a lot, but Venum hangs on out of a super rana, slips off, then does a front somersault… powerbombing himself instead of the planned flying rana. Oh dear. He does a whirling headscissors and poses instead. Discovery monkey flips Histeria to the floor and hits a run-up tope con hilo, Ludxor hits a tornilo on Maniaco, then Supernova completely speedblizes Abismo, running by him 2-3 times before doing a Superman pose and whirling around him into a headscissors & finishes with a Rana at (4:32).

SEGUNDO CAIDA: Discovery embarrasses Maniaco with lots of counters, then Absimo & Ludxor have a clone battle as they look nearly EXACTLY the same. Abismo splats, gets slid to the floor and he’s headscissored out there. But Super Nova gets his ass kicked by Mosco & Histeria, who LAUNCH him with a huge double-backdrop bump and Venum is then freely double-teamed, hit with a powerbomb/senton, then sent to the floor by Abismo. Discovery is openly triple-teamed and hit with a missile dropkick while the other two hold him and they twist him up for a submission, then Abismo fucks up and asai moonsaults Ludxor’s knees (after slipping the first time), and the other two do a standing moonsault/legdrop combo to win the round (3:52) as Super Nova gets twisted into a double-team submission.

TERCERA CAIDA: All tied up and Super Nova’s getting quadruple-teamed and they asai moonsault him, leading to Venum coming in and getting his ass beat. Discovery goes into a post and Ludxor the corner, but Abismo pulls him up at “2” for more torture. Venum gets beaten up MORE, but finally Super Nova’s in. They whip him into a rudo’s boot repeatedly but he reverses and Abismo takes the same thing, falling into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as commentary finally names the rudos “Los Galacticos”, having no name for them beforehand. The rudos are on their knees eating strikes, Venum cross-bodies one over the guardrail, and Maniaco is dropkicked out by Discovery. Abismo suckers Discovery in and ballshots him until we’re back to square one. Everyone rushes in and Venum is flung into hitting Discovery and both are knocked to the floor, where they’re hit with stereo tope con hilos by Histeria & Mosco while they’re on the concrete. OW to those landings. Maniaco tries the same thing but splats on the floor, leaving only the captains in the ring. Nova & Abismo slap each other- Nova hits a spinkick & sunset flip, but gets whipped into… sitting up in the corner for no reason, so Abismo can hit him with a Super Rana, which leaves him helpless for a Triple Flying Headbutt from the others, and a triple-pin gets him at (6:03)- the rudos win!

A pretty messy, sloppy lucha bout with not much smoothness and a lot more ugly bits and shoving each other around between the flips. I notice all of Venum’s segments are kinda weird- like they’re less flashy and just guys shoving him around and stiffly hitting him. I know he ends up a bigger star later but it comes off like he’s the stiff here and kinda has to be forced into stuff. Super Nova was clearly the best of the technicos, being WAY faster and more elaborate with everything. And still there’s a lot of open telegraphing and guys clearly just standing there because it’s their turn to be hit. The rudos freely cheating and turning it into a handicap match with no issues from the referees is kinda weird, too- why are there two refs if you can just freely cheat? But in the end it’s mostly a stuntshow match with lots of big dives to end things and make the fans happy.

Rating: *3/4 (kinda fun in its own way but just kind of a mess- put this on Dynamite today and it’d be called a disaster)

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: N8 MATTSON:
Appearances: #455 in 2006, #364 in 2008, #253 in 2010, #325 in 2011, #209 in 2012, #278 in 2013, #327 in 2014, #481 in 2016, #492 in 2017, #477 in 2018

-Okay, this a pretty wild one- a dude I’ve never heard of who’s been wrestling for THIRTY YEARS, never really leaving Michigan for more than the occasional show, and has wrestled for 10 promotions a year since the early 2000s. Like, how do you be at it that long, continuing to get work, without ever having a Ring of Honor run or a WWE squash match to your name? Or ever finding a name better than “N8 Mattson” in all that time? He wrestles upwards of 30+ matches a year despite being 49 years old and only ever goes to like… Ontario or something once in a while. He’s a pretty lightly built generic indie guy, but the type who sorta keeps in shape without doing steroids, has tattoos but not “big sloppy mess” tats, and doesn’t do the INDIE KICKPADS thing nor the “do comedy wrestling because he sucks”. If anything, his whole schtick reminds me of CM Punk- like a generic “guy who wrestles”.

N8 MATTSON vs. PETEY WILLIAMS:
(CLASH Wrestling Divided We Fall, 2012)
* Hey look! An indie in front of 30 people! Right away I can see N8 is pretty small because PETEY WILLIAMS is built like Brock Lesnar next to him. N8’s in black shorts, while Petey’s in red trunks with Roman-style flair on the front.

N8 backs Petey into the corner and slaps him on the back, sending Petey whining and N8 tries to explain to the official how delicate his slap was. Just from the lockups its clear N8 knows how to work- none of that “shitty indie loser” hesitance or sloppiness. He teases another slap and Petey runs around, jawing with the fans as they stall and stall for like 3 minutes, haha. N8 chases him outside but teases coming in, luring Petey into an elbowdrop so N8 can work the arm. N8 fires off a rapid back elbow and alternates between the “pithold” resting and arching back to snap the arm. Ugh, a guy on the hard cam is doing the “trying to get himself over” thing, snarking with EVERY MOVE (“Spank him!” “Now kiss him!” “Hey Petey, quit diddling yourself!”). N8 keeps going back to the arm as they do an International and Petey keeps trying to escape, then N8 punches him in the corner, bites him, etc., but finally N8 stinger splashes into the corner and bumps to the floor so Petey can finally get some heat on him 9 minutes in.

Petey see-saws him into the bottom rope and puts his feet on the ropes, puts him in the tree of woe, stands on his nuts, but puts his head down and gets backslid for two. Petey hits a lariat, backbreaker & kneedrops, but N8 cross-bodies him out of the corner for two, leaving Petey desperately choking him in the ropes and hitting a “kiss the bicep” elbowdrop for two. A sleeperhold gets the hand dropped 2.5 times, but N8 runs into him and accidentally headbutts him in the nuts on the sell. N8 makes a comeback with punches, an inverted atomic drop and an STO (he IS an early 2000s indie guy!), and the second-rope legdrop gets two. Petey sorta headscissors him into the corner (looks bad and that dork shouts “Botch! Botch!”) and a slingshot Codebreaker gets two, but Petey hits the ref on the kickout. N8 goes for a swinging neckbreaker turned into an inverted powerbomb thing, but no ref, and Petey pulls the ref in front of himself to stop a charge, nailing N8 in the nuts when he shoves him away. That lets him hit the Canadian Destroyer for the pin (18:39).

This was LONG but shockingly good for what it was, as these were obviously two seasoned pros who knew how to give very little but make it look like a lot- Petey whining constantly, arguing with the few fans, jawing with the ref, etc. Both knew how to milk simple moves and bail without looking like they were openly resting so the match is almost entirely basics and bullshit but is never excruciating. More importantly, they MOVED well- the level between a N8 Mattson and most of these PWI “250-500” dinks is huge. Which is funny because he’s just a basic skinny guy who probably never gets over ** in a match, but compare him to Blue Kane/Memes being a clumsy nothing or a “5 matches a year” dweeb or the “Ospreay cosplay” guys. That said, the match kinda falls apart in the end as they get tired and start openly helping one another do stuff, getting in the way or messing up moves, probably because of fatigue. It’s just too long.

Rating: * (hahah after all that complimentary stuff I’m like “yeah only one star” because it’s LONG and just two guys fuckin’ around in front of 30 people. BUT it’s totally appropriate to give that level of effort in front of so few people in such a podunk operation, especially if you have to go nearly 20 minutes)