Dream Matches — page 11

The Man, The Myth, The Legend- The Berzerker returns to my column! In a match that doesn’t suck!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have some surprisingly hard-fought, bludgeoning midcard matches to start us off, as the Big Boss Man faces The Berzerker on WWF Prime Time, and Sgt. Craig Pittman faces Kurasawa (Manabu Nakanishi) on WCW Nitro!

Also, I have Fire & Ice vs. The State Patrol, as the undersized veterans oddly control most of the match against their huge opponents Scott Norton & Ice Train. Then it’s more of Mortis & Wrath on the WCW midcard, as they take on Harlem Heat on Saturday Night, back when Jacequelyn was their manager! Then I watch Salvatore Sincere fall into the bottom-tier heel dead zone of “teaming up with a jobber” as he ends up wrestling the now-serious Godwinns on Shotgun… and we cap things off with one of Nitro’s most infamously bad matches, as Juventud Guerrera has to face the huge, way too green JOE GOMEZ!

THE BIG BOSS MAN vs. THE BERZERKER (w/ Mr. Fuji):
(WWF Prime Time Feb 17th, 1992)
* The greatest of all un-over failed midcard heel gimmicks, The Berzerker, actually gets another featured match in mid-1992 against the Boss Man! I don’t recall too many competitive Berzerker matches during this early part of my fandom, so this is fun.

I have a unique Dream Matches column for you today, as I take a look at one of All Japan’s biggest matches of the 1980s, with Ace, Jumbo Tsuruta taking on Genichiro Tenryu- can the grumpiest man in wrestling unseat the younger, ex-sumo upstart? It’s not a weirdo match like I usually post on here, but hey- it’s considered one of the best matches of the 1980s!

Following that, I have more standard stuff for this column, as there’s a throwaway match with two guys’ worst gimmicks, as Flash Funk takes on the legendary ROCKABILLY, in a bout you’d never guess would have major repercussions for the Attitude Era… but there it is. Also, there’s Steve “Mongo” McMichael vs. Jim Powers (with a MANAGER!), and poor Haku deals with his early ’90s de-push as he gets fed to Tugboat, maybe the dumbest gimmick of the Hogan Era!

TRIPLE CROWN TITLE:
JUMBO TSURUTA vs. GENICHIRO TENRYU:
(All Japan, June 5th 1989)
* The big match of All Japan in the ’80s, as their two top natives go against each other. Jumbo, the super-Ace of AJPW, is well-established as the top dog and looks to be at Peak Grumpiness here. Like a grizzly bear that got woken up from hibernation early and wants to just beat this fool’s ass as quickly as possible so he can go the f*ck back to bed, god damn it. Like he looks pissed off just to be awake. The crowd is just ROARING through the introductions, proving that Japanese crowds aren’t ALWAYS quiet and “respectful”. Both guys are in black, but Tenryu has yellow boots and curly hair, and a bulky sumo physique, revealing his origins. Jumbo’s big moves are the Jumping Knee & Jumbo Lariat, while Tenryu uses an Enzuigiri & Folding Powerbomb.

The Great Muta in his legendary North American run.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! As I realize I’ve not done a lot of extra reviews since I got back from vacation, so this is even more of a smattering of weird small matches than usual! But I found some weird oddities here, headed off by a No-DQ match between The Great Muta & “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert! Gilbert’s one of my big black holes of fandom, as I didn’t watch other companies in the 1980s and he died before I paid attention to any of them.

Next up, we have a pair of “Established Stars vs. Weirdo 1997 Gimmicks”, as the prior era of the WWF dies down and we still have some lame gimmicks kicking about until the Attitude Era truly begins. Come see Ken Shamrock vs. Salvatore Sincere, and Mankind vs. The Sultan! Poor Sultan had even lost his MANAGERS by this point!

Then I get into more Silver King, as I see what happens when he takes on an American jobber in Rocky King (translation: it’s ugly! There’s a reason most lucha-trained guys fought only each other!)! And finally, it’s WCW tag mayhem, as The Steiner Brothers fight The Blue Bloods (Steven Regal & Dave Taylor), and the Road Warriors fight job squad Pat Tanaka and The Gambler! Yes, WCW was so into hiring WWF cast-offs they had PAT TANAKA!

NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH:
THE GREAT MUTA (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “HOT STUFF” EDDIE GILBERT (w/ Missy Hyatt):
(NWA Power Hour, Aug. 12th 1989)
* From Muta’s legendary US run comes a match against Eddie Gilbert, whom I know almost literally nothing about. He’s some short southern guy (the same height as his high-heeled valet), but was considered a great mind of the business, but died young at only 33 of a heart attack. Muta silently grabs Missy and spews the green mist DIRECTLY in her face in a great bit, just looking like a total demon. Eddie, in baby blue tights, attacks immediately.

Misawa back when he was the second Tiger Mask.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have an old All Japan match featuring young AWA World Champion Curt Hennig up against Mitsuharu Misawa, back when he was the the second Tiger Mask! Both these guys were ****-***** workers in their primes, so let’s see what they had in 1988!

Then after that, it’s a bizarre pair of matches from the WWF, as the Headbangers (then a midcard heel duo) face off against Jerry Lawler and “Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam, his ally from ECW in their invasion against “Extremely Crappy Wrestling” during the weird time when ECW was frequently invading RAW! And then it’s over to WCW, as Harlem Heat face The Amazing French Canadians (Jacques Rougeau & PCO) on a D-show and actually have a pretty decent match out of it!

AWA WORLD TITLE:
TIGER MASK II (Mitsuharu Misawa) vs. CURT HENNIG:
(All Japan Pro Wrestling, Jan. 8th 1988)
* Oh man! MR. PERFECT vs. MISAWA! From 1988 before Misawa’s prime, but still. Hennig was still in the AWA at this point. His red & blue robe with stars on it is… a choice. He’s babyfaced and in black & white trunks, which always looks weird because the singlet is so iconic now. Misawa in the TM garb always looks kind of odd, too. All the other dudes were small, lithe juniors and Misawa is pretty hefty. Like, he’s clearly bigger than Curt here.

MATCHES THROUGH THE AGES: REY MYSTERIO vs. EDDIE GUERRERO

-Okay, so a couple weeks back I posted the first one of these, featuring a bunch of Rey Mysterio/Ultimo Dragon matches! But then I went on a Disney World vacation and was too busy running from Princess Security to do more, so now that I’m back I can do another one! This time I wanted to do a two-match review of Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio’s most famous encounters- the fabulous Halloween Havoc match and the infamous WrestleMania 21 bout. Now the latter is a well-known disappointment, so I kinda wanted to look into why. I believe in a shoot after the fact it was suggested that they were trying way too hard to equal the Havoc bout, and I can buy that- it’s hard to match an old classic, especially with much older wrestlers.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time we’re starting off with a request, as Bret “Hitman” Hart takes on Paul Roma in 1991 WWF! When Bret REALLY started impressive people with how excellent his execution truly was. Then it’s a truly whacky 6-man tag, as the WWF’s lowest-level babyfaces team up against a new team and the bottom-tier heel- it’s Kerry Von Erich, Greg Valentine & “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka against the Beverly Brothers and Pat Tanaka! Then it’s over to WCW, as Harlem Heat take on the Fantastics in a pretty good generational tag team match! And some more obscure goodness, as four of WCW’s British wrestlers face off- it’s Steven Regal & Dave Taylor vs. “Gentleman” Chris Adams & Norman Smiley! Finally, we end with a couple of random Tokyo Magnum WCW contests- with such varied competition as “Hole In One” Barry Darsow and Eddie Guerrero!

BRET “HIT MAN” HART vs. PAUL ROMA (w/ Slick):
(WWF Prime Time, July 1st 1991)
* Bret Hart’s new singles push continues as he faces a very “Jobbing Face” Paul Roma, frowning and wearing the long Power & Glory tights. Sean Mooney declares that Bret Hart would NEVER brag, which is rich considering his primary catchphrase is to declare himself the greatest wrestler there is, was and ever will be.

Featuring a very rare “Sabu in WCW” match!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have some classic WCW stuff, including a bout featuring that very weird cup of coffee SABU of all people had with the company in 1995! I always remember reading about it, but had never seen it.

We start off, however, with a classic Steiner Brothers match shortly before their break-up, as they take on Mortis & Wrath on WCW Saturday Night! Then it’s Sabu vs. Harry Dean Baker on WCW Prime (a show I don’t remember existing)… followed by the SUPER SHOCKMASTER, who was a brief attempt at saving the “Shockmaster” gimmick by repackaging Fred Ottman as a nasty heel. It did not work.

Following that, it’s the battle of the failed 1991 WWF gimmicks as The Dragon (Ricky Steamboat) battles Col. Mustafa (the Iron Sheik)! And finally it’s a late-stage WCW bout as my Sean O’Haire watching continues, with him & Chuck Palumbo taking on Lance Storm & Mike Awesome!

THE STEINER BROTHERS (Rick & Scott, w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. MORTIS & WRATH (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Saturday Night, Nov. 1st 1997)
* A potentially good match, but on Saturday Night it’s always iffy if you’re gonna see any kind of effort. A solid two minutes is just the heels’ walk to the ring (keep in mind the aisle is like 30 feet long). It’s a weird era for the Steiners, as Scott is INCREDIBLY juiced to his Big Poppa Pump levels, but still has long black hair… but an evil parallel universe goatee and a shiny black singlet.

Ever see an Ultimate Warrior match and wondered what it would be like if he was even WORSE? Have I got the match for you today!

Welcome back to another Dream Matches column! This week I have a column of sheer insanity for you, as we start off with the infamous Blade Runners (Sting & the Ultimate Warrior as paralyzingly-bad bodybuilders in their rookie year) taking on Tracy Smothers and Ricky Gibson, the chubby brother of Robert! Some see the most horrible double-team move in the entire history of wrestling! I dare you!

More weird tag team action, as the random duo of useless failed gimmicks “Double J” Jesse James & Rockabilly are thrown together and sent against “the other two Los Boriquas”- you know, not the hairy one or Savio. Yeah, THIS is the formation of the New Age Outlaws, more or less. Then it’s over to WCW as the Japanese Invasion continues, with Masahiro Chono & Kensuke Sasaki take on the NASTY BOYS of all people, while of course a better worker than all four sits in the crowd watching her husband work.

And finally, on recommendation I check out Don Leo Jonathan, a 6’6″ worker DECADES ahead of his time, taking on Strong Kobayashi in the best match I’ve ever seen from the 1970s!

THE BLADE RUNNERS (Rock & Sting) vs. TRACY SMOTHERS & RICKY GIBSON:
(Mid-South, NE State University, Tahlequah- March 3rd 1986)
* Oh yeah, it’s BLADE RUNNERS time! This is of course Sting & the Ultimate Warrior as ultra-roided (like, even more than they were later!), green-as-grass rookies wearing lipstick and dark eyeshadow in some kind of KISS/New Wave style (I was expecting more of a “Road Warriors” thing). And their opponents are also wild- future legendary Southern also-ran Tracy Smothers teaming with Robert Gibson…’s brother, Ricky. Ricky could not possibly look more jobbery in his red singlet & dad-bod (he even stands all weird, with his arms held out awkwardly at his side), while Tracy is way more ripped than I’ve ever seen him before, wearing white trunks.

Hey all! Welcome to a different kind of Dream Matches column, as I work something our own Darryl Stewart suggested- matches between the same wrestlers, but over the years in different companies! Woo! Kick cancer’s ass, Darryl!

I’ll see what I can find on free to watch sites, as I don’t have the WWE Network. Thankfully a bunch seems to be up and posted.

WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE:
REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. ULTIMATE DRAGON (w/ Sonny Onoo):
(WCW Nitro, Aug. 8th 1996)
* We come to WCW Nitro in 1996, shortly after the “Lawn Dart” incident (mentioned on commentary by Bischoff & Heenan), with Rey defending the Cruiserweight Title against a then-unproven “Ultimate” Dragon, who has a full face mask and sprays red mist in the pre-match. They’d apparently fought at Hog Wild only 2 days earlier, which is unmentioned here. Rey’s in blue & white while Dragon’s in aquamarine with a lot less detail than I’m used to. It’s weird seeing Rey in his pre-roided phase at this point.

Truly the most shameful waste of a main event gimmick ever.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have some truly bizarre stuff for you today, starting off with the most amazing jobber match ever- the One Man Gang fighting a repackaged Ron Reis… as the SUPER GIANT NINJA! Then come see just how bad the WWF’s “Cookie Cutter Style” of the Johnny Ace Era just destroyed guys, as Roddy Piper’s lackey Sean O’Haire, once the hottest rookie in the biz, takes on Chris Benoit on SmackDown!

Then it’s one of those “WTF? That happened?” classics you get from WCW’s “New Japan Invasion”, where main eventer Masa Chono and Mr. Fuji’s former tag team partner from the ’80s slum it on the D-show against Harlem Heat. And then we have “The Narcissist” Lex Luger near the end of his WWF heel run as he faces “The Rocket” Owen Hart in a midcard quickie with a rare “he has to wear a forearm guard” gimmick, and finally… a JTTS DREAM MATCH, as Virgil takes on Paul Roma in the prelude to SummerSlam ’91!

WCW UNITED STATES TITLE:
THE ONE MAN GANG vs. THE SUPER GIANT NINJA:
(WCW Saturday Night, Jan. 20th 1996)
* Oh my god YESSSSSSSSSS!! I’ve only barely heard of the Super Giant Ninja, and I’ve never seen him before. So he’s Ron Reis in Mortal Kombat cosplay, having been already repackaged after fans sh*t all over The Yeti (probably due to him & Loch Ness DP-ing Hulk Hogan in the goofiest costumes ever). He apparently appeared as “The Yetti” once in this look, but has now changed his name again. He’s in black gear with a yellow/red Scorpion/Sub-Zero chestpiece, and a mask that covers his entire face, not even leaving his eyes. Oh, and a three-foot “ponytail” coming out of the top. The Gang is actually U.S. Champion for his weird forgotten run.

It’s a very special Dream Matches column for you tonight, as I review a great 30-minute NWA Title defense by Ric Flair against Jumbo Tsuruta from 1982! Jumbo’s one of Japan’s biggest legends and was put over hugely by various NWA Champions during their title defenses, so it’s time to see what Flair can get out of him!

Since that’s such a long match, I’ll add a few interesting shorter ones- chief among them is the debut of Mark Jindrak & Sean O’Haire on WCW TV, as they take on Rey Mysterio & Juventud Guerrera- the Filthy Animals! And then we finally get another FAT MAN STAND-OFF in this column, as Vader comes to WWF Shotgun Saturday Night to face The Sultan! And a super-quick TV job featuring Jushin Liger hitting WCW to wrestle Eddie Guerrero! And finally, it’s one of only two TV matches for Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, as he faces jobber Ron Cumberledge!

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
RIC FLAIR vs. JUMBO TSURUTA:
(All Japan Pro Wrestling, June 8th 1982)
* I’ve heard these matches are all FANTASTIC, so I’ll grab the World Title match, which is quite highly rated. These two fought a bunch, as the NWA worked with AJPW at this time, leading to Flair as travelling champion taking on the Ace. Both guys come out to what sounds like anime music, though Flair has his ’80s mane and a powder blue robe, with trunks to match. Jumbo is apparently debuting his black trunks & boots look, meant to evoke Lou Thesz, which sends the signal to the fans that this is the future “Ace”. Flair’s a bit doughy at this point, but has a really broad chest compared to later on (he was a bodybuilder in the ’70s, surprisingly)- Jumbo’s a bit taller but not extremely so. Man, the NWA Title was TINY at this point.

There’s something to be said when a guy is still talked about as a great “Shoulda-Been” almost 20 years after he stopped wrestling.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Today, I have a very “2001 WCW” pairing, as a washed-up, immobile Lex Luger has to lead hot rookie Sean O’Haire through a match! Then I check out some Rockers/Orient Express stuff… but 3-4 years before their WWF feuds, as it’s Badd Company vs. The Midnight Rockers in the AWA! Come see the double-teams and a very young Shawn & Marty, as well as their “infuriated Southern babyface” energy! Then it’s not one, but TWO matches of High Energy versus the Beverly Brothers! I can barely contain my excitement!

LEX LUGER vs. SEAN O’HAIRE:
(WCW Nitro, 3/5/2001)
* I decided to try and find more old Sean O’Haire stuff to see if the wild potential we’d all guessed for him was actually there in the first place. So naturally the first thing I found is a 2001 Lex Luger match, lol. At this point, O’Haire was getting a lot of hype online- with a FANTASTIC look (check that 2001-era spiky hair and chin beard!) and Jeff Hardy’s Swanton, he seemed supernatural and like a “sure thing”. Here he’s in shiny black shorts with blue fire on them, while Lex is in the same-old black trunks. The two are about the same size, which is part of why O’Haire seemed so awesome- if he was in AEW today, he’d be near Lance Archer’s height and would be flipping and flying around.

Not the most notable match involving Nash & Wrath, but good enough!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time the headliner is yet another in my “Best of Mortis” run, but features him & Wrath following up their big PPV win over the Faces of Fear against the WCW Tag Team Champions themselves, Scott Hall & Kevin Nash! Come see the Outsiders at their snarkiest and most immature while still trying to put over their opponents just a tad.

Also, remember “Can’t Miss” prospect Sean O’Haire? Well come see me check out just how much potential he really had as he takes on former partner Mark Jindrak on WCW Thunder in 2001! Then  it’s a pair of squash matches featuring “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. jobber Paul Roma, but separated by four years- in 1985 at the beginning of Savage’s run and 1989 when he’s the “Macho King”! Then finally I have one last 3-Count match, as they defend the WCW Hardcore Title (yes, all three of them) against Silver King, El Dandy and Jeremy Lopez (… wait, who?)!

WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
THE OUTSIDERS (Scott Hall & Kevin Nash, w/ Syxx) vs. WRATH & MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Nitro, Sept. 15th 1997)
* A very interesting one, as Nash is responsible for a particularly notable victory over Wrath to hamper his push in a year or so, but at this time it was more gonna be an easy win for the nWo. Nash is well into his “lol I’m just gonna make everything a big joke” face, making silly faces and doing funny dances on the way to the ring. This is the night after Fall Brawl, where Curt Hennig turned nWo and betrayed the Horsemen- the theory goes from the commentators that the Outsiders will be a little sore, but they don’t play that up at all. Wrath & Mortis beat the Faces of Fear in a surprisingly good tag match on the same show, at least showing that one of those random feudless midcard bouts on PPV actually LEAD TO SOMETHING!

Lord Alfred: “They made a fashion statement there, but I don’t think anybody was really listening, do you?”
Monsoon: “They left a lot of room for improvement, didn’t they!?”
-Commentary during the match below.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have some interesting stuff, led by a pair of matches between the WWF Tag Champions Money Inc. against High Energy! I also wanted to find more Young Stallions stuff, but I only got a squash they have… but it’s against “Iron” Mike Sharpe and SONNY BEACH! Woo- UWF crossover! Now I demand a Jim Powers cookie!

And then I have a bout featuring RIKIDOZAN of all people, who has a tiny bit of YouTube stuff available! Come see the Japanese legend take on Haystacks friggin’ Calhoun in a pair of ultra-clipped matches! And finally, it’s Mortis & Wrath vs. La Parka & Psychosis, in one of those midcard WCW matches full of crazy spots and huge bumping between guys who are never gonna get a major push.

WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
MONEY INC. (Ted DiBiase & Irwin R. Schyster, w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. HIGH ENERGY (“The Rocket” Owen Hart & Koko B. Ware):
(WWF Prime Time Wrestling, July 20th 1992)
* A rare title shot for High Energy, as the parachute-pants duo near the bottom of the tag ranks take on Money Inc.. Owen’s in purple and Koko’s in yellow.

Shockingly judging by these physiques, both of these guys are still alive today.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have a big assortment of tag team matches, plus a couple of random one-off solo bouts! First off, it’s a very “1988 WWF” match, as the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition face off against The Young Stallions on WWF Superstars! Then a 1993 match where the new Headshrinkers team faces off against the “1992 Job Squad” of Virgil & “El Matador” Tito Santana! And it’s nearly a ten minute match! Over to WCW, as my “Best of Mortis” series continues, as he tries to win the TV Title from Ultimo Dragon on a 1997 Nitro! A request, as Rick “The Model” Martel faces off against a jobber Paul Roma, who is REALLY gunning for a push, judging by his effort here! And finally, a throwaway WCW Worldwide match, as Vicious & Delicious (Scott Norton & Buff Bagwell) take on The Southern Posse!

DEMOLITION (Ax & Smash, w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. THE YOUNG STALLIONS (Paul Roma & Jim Powers):
(WWF Superstars, June 11th 1988)
* I’ve seen very little of the TV from this time period, but this should be fun. The Stallions were at the bottom of the babyface team pecking order, looking like IMMENSE dorks with their generic “Yay!” personalities. Demolition are the Tag Champs at this point (having beaten Strike Force at WrestleMania IV), but it’s non-title.

Sid: A 10/10 in “Look” if there ever was one, with physical charisma to match… it’s a shame he never figured out the other stuff.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have a wild assortment for you today, as I cover WWF, WCW, and even a really cool old-school match from Japan in 1974!

We start off with Sid’s big 1995 return, as he takes on newbie Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw in one of those bouts that is everything Sid is- quick, not highly-rated, yet completely awesome and drives the fans wild. Then it’s the strangest Clash of the JTTS Guys ever, as Virgil faces “El Matador” Tito Santana in the friendliest match ever in Spain! More of Buddy Landel’s weird WWF run, as he gets a jobber squash against a young Matt Hardy and showcases his stiff striking skills! Then it’s a Battle of the Brits in WCW, as Dave Taylor faces off against “British Bulldog” Davey-Boy Smith.

And finally, we hit Japan in 1974, as a 23-year old Jumbo Tsuruta with all of one year in the business faces the NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jack Brisco in a title fight! Come see just HOW GOOD Jumbo was with only a year in the business, and how much the ’70s style resembled the ’80s NWA one.

SID vs. JUSTIN “HAWK” BRADSHAW (w/ Uncle Zebekiah):
(WWF RAW, 1995-ish)
* Okay, HERE’s a wild one- Sid, freshly returned as a babyface out to help Shawn Michaels now that the Ultimate Warrior’s gone again, and he’s up against midcarder Bradshaw, not QUITE as protected as he’d be even a couple of years later. And in a perfect expression of Sid’s power, his borderline S-Tier charisma has the entire crowd eating out the palm of his hand, which tended to happen every time he debuted, even though he had weak promos and worse in-ring skill.

Booker T’s 1998-ish WCW run is actually very emblematic of the company to me- very few guys had quite that variety of quality midcard matches with multiple opponents and tons of different finishes as him- it’s part of what got him “World Champion” over. He was a LOT more agile than he was in the WWF, too.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have more of Mortis, as he takes on Booker T on the upswing of his WCW career for the TV Title! This one is primarily notable for an absolutely INSANE  screwed up landing that could have killed a man right there on the spot- a good sign of how quickly a spot can turn deadly by accident.

Also, we have a rare old Hardy vs. Hardy match, as Matt & Jeff face each other in the North Carolina indies in 1998, right before their WWF run began! Come watch Jeff use his proto-WWF offense already, while Matt’s still in “Copy Lucha & Japan” mode! Then it’s a rare one-off, as BUDDY LANDEL returns to the WWF in 1999 for one night in a jobber squash taking on Triple H himself on Shotgun Saturday Night! Then it’s Rick Martel in his WCW renaissance, but in a jobber match on Saturday Night as he takes on Hardbody Harrison! And finally, a strange throwaway bout as The Public Enemy take on WWF cast-offs Davey-Boy Smith & Jim Neidhart in 1999 WCW!

As always, all the bouts here are found on YouTube.

WCW TV TITLE:
BOOKER T vs. MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Monday Nitro, Jan. 19th 1998)
* Booker T on the beginning of his hot streak takes on Mortis, who by this point is pretty well a JTTS. Booker, in white tights with orange fire, does the “WCW Thing” of screaming random sh*t into the camera as he comes down the aisle. He’s a bit more lithe and athletic at this point in his career- he hadn’t gone Full Roid for a WWF physique yet. He is INCREDIBLY over, though- the huge arena is full of people raising the roof for him. So of course it took forever to actually push him right.

Seriously though, this is an ALL-TIME wrestling look and it’s a shame they wasted it on a “Midcard JTTS” act.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a classic case of a WCW “throw together two good workers and give them time!” throwaway match, as Mortis (Chris Kanyon) faces Juventud Guerrera on WCW Saturday Night! Then it’s the end of Rick “The Model” Martel’s WWF run as he faces “The Rocket” Owen Hart in one of Owen’s last babyface matches! The more WCW goodness as a rookie Tokyo Magnum on his learning excursion faces El Dandy!

Then we get another Steiner Brothers/Fire & Ice “just launch each other around the ring” match, and finally, an all-time dream bout of the Beverly Brothers facing the jobber Dream Team of Virgil and “El Matador” Tito Santana! Read on!

MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg) vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA:
(WCW Saturday Night, Jan. 3rd 1998)
* Hey, an interesting one, actually! Kanyon in his “Mortis” identity vs. Juvie! This is back when Juventud was still masked (here his mask is an odd dark salmon color) and was kinda/sorta a job guy but sometimes not really? WCW’s midcard was strange because guys would alternate wins & losses randomly. Mortis looks AWESOME and holds up even more in retrospect- 99% of guys don’t look half as cool. The size difference here is profound, too.

Rick Martel didn’t have the best matches during his WWF career, but is often a fountain of surprisingly-good midcard bouts!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have an assortment of WWF & WCW stuff, headlined by Rick “The Model” Martel returning to the WWF to face rookie sensation the 1-2-3 Kid! Rick’s well-known renaissance in WCW a few years later actually has some precedent here, given Martel’s showing.

Also featured is the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express showing up in early nWo-era WCW to take on Fire & Ice! It’s Jimmy Wang Yang’s debut in WCW, as Yun Yang faces off against the KISS Demon! A trios match from hell sees “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan & The Bushwhackers take on The Repo Man & The Beverly Brothers! And finally I find two matches featuring a name that’s intrigued me since I saw him like 30 years ago- The Intruder! Who is a masked jobber in a pair of squash tag matches four years apart, as he’s annihilated by both Demolition and the Nasty Boys!

RICK “THE MODEL” MARTEL vs. THE 1-2-3 KID:
(All-American Wrestling, Oct. 3rd 1993)
* Rick is freshly back in the company at this point “after modeling in Europe”, while the Kid is still a newbie in his blue singlet. Martel’s run at this point is seemingly just to put over some of the newer generation guys, but you gotta beat some dudes to regain credibility before you can do that, so this will be interesting!

Possibly the greatest variance in quality between a wrestler’s visual appearance/gimmick and their in-ring ability.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I have some extremely rare stuff for you tonight, as the dreaded “1993 WWF” rears its ugly head once more, giving us a pair of beauties- Mr. Perfect vs. Papa Shango and The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Bastian Booger! Talk about main events in any arena in the country!

Then it’s a look at a crazy WCW rookie team I’d somehow managed to miss entirely- our own Oprah Noodlemantra turned me on to The Pit Crew- Dale “Demon” Torborg & Chad Fortune as guys decked out as WCW racing team pit crew guys. Naturally, their opposition is the Dream Matches favorite squad of Mean Mike & Tough Tom- Disorderly Conduct!

Then it’s the most “1996 WWF” match I could find, as it’s Jim Cornette dream match Barry Windham vs. Tony Anthony… except it’s the worst incarnations of both men- The Stalker vs. T.L. Hopper, in The Stalker’s debut! Then it’s more WCW jobberhood, as Al Green gets set up against Lash LeRoux! And finally, one of those great WCW weirdo mismatch bouts that inspired this column in the first place, as High Voltage face WCW’s lowest-tier luchadores- Ciclope & Galaxy!

MR. PERFECT vs. PAPA SHANGO:
(WWF Mania, March 5th, 1993)
* One more from the semi-short run of Papa Shango, where he faces a rising Mr. Perfect. Shango had by this point been jobbing all over the house show scene to guys like Undertaker & Bob Backlund, but was beating El Matador & Typhoon around the horn as well.