Dream Matches — page 11

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a hell of a find- a Mirror Match between Bruiser Brody and the guy who lifted all his stuff- Nord the Barbarian! Turns out they were old tag partners and occasional opponents, making that less of a theft and more of a “trainee” thing! But come see a mega-roided future Berzerker take on his elder self in Windy City Wrestling in 1988!

Next up, I have the most “1994” match ever, as Adam Bomb and the Smoking Gunns take on Kwang & Well Dunn- the Wippleman Dream Team. Next up is “Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich in his final televised WWF match against the Repo Man! Finally, I knock out a lucha match I reviewed ages ago as El Hijo Del Santo, Latin Lover & Heavy Metal face La Parka, Fuerza Guerrera & Blue Panther!

KING KONG BRUISER BRODY vs. NORD THE BARBARIAN:
(Windy City Wrestling, 1988?)
* !!!!!!!!!!! Completely wild! Bruiser Brody, shortly before he died, and he’s up against the guy who lifted nearly all his shit in John Nord (aka The Berzerker). They were actually tag partners in 1986 AWA, mentioned here, so it’s actually somewhat natural that Nord became one of the “Brody Clones”. The video quality here is NOT good, but Brody has black trunks and longer hair, and is less toned than a 25-ish Nord, who has short curly hair and brown trunks.

THE BEST OF WRESTLERS SLAUGHTERING JOBBERS:
* Okay, so there’s a long, proud history of wrestlers taking liberties with job guys who piss them off for some reason, so I figured I’d find a handful of them. I can only imagine at the backstories to some of this- wrestlers being giant liars and all, it’s tricky to find out just WHY some of these dudes apparently had to die, but boy you can tell when it happens.

KOKO WARE vs. THE MASKED PATRIOT:
(Memphis, 1985)
* An infamous one where Koko just trucks a guy. Koko’s short, squat and muscular in red tights with white trunks over them, and the jobber is some pasty white guy in a blue singlet and a red mask & trunks, with white boots. Well I guess he has the colors, but he’s too cheap to buy stars for his gear?

Truly a main event in any arena in the country!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one is a pretty wild assortment of mostly tag team matches, but I start off with a request, as the eternally underrated Mike Enos spends the last of his WWF career doing jobs as a solo act, as he’s one of the few “name” guys send to job to the new 1-2-3 Kid! Come see good ol’ Blake Beverly pull out some very unique offense for 1993 WWF against the hot young star!

Then we hit another 1993 oddity, as the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express invade the WWF to take on Well Dunn! They wrestle a pretty classic example of a “Southern Tag Match”, probably owing to the heels being part of Smoky Mountain Wrestling at the time as well. We get the second match in a week of Terry & Dory Funk vs. Stan Hansen & Bruiser Brody from All Japan as well- a sequel to a match from last week’s column! And finally, it’s another request: “Dirty” Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck vs. Men At Work! A jobber duo of Chris Kanyon (pre-Mortis) and Mark Starr doing their duties on the D-shows against a heel team just about to be done.

THE 1-2-3 KID vs. BLAKE BEVERLY:
(WWF RAW, July 5th 1993)
* A request! And a great “wow, that happened?” match, as the 1-2-3 Kid’s run was just starting, and I do NOT remember his career crossing over with that of the Beverlies. This was when Blake (Mike Enos) was kicking around for a couple months as a solo act, in that “Kato” role as “a guy we’re pretending is an actual star so you can be tricked into thinking this is a real Featured Match between stars instead of a jobber match”. A big dude, Blake looked merely average-sized in the monstrous WWF, and had no charisma, so he was sunk, no matter how surprisingly good he was. The Kid has MASSIVELY cheap gear on, a blue singlet covered in numbers and “KID” in giant ’90s yellow writing.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have a bunch off stuff, led off by Bret Hart vs. The Berzerker for the WWF Title! After that, it’s a request for the Motor City Machine Guns (Sabin & Shelley) vs. Finn Balor & Ryusuke Taguchi for the IWGP Jr. Tag Titles in New Japan! I also check the Funk/Hansen feud again, as it’s Terry & Dory Funk vs. Stan Hansen & Bruiser Brody! And the best of Well Dunn continues, as they get a shot at the WWF Tag Team Titles, as they face Fatu & Samu- the Headshrinkers!

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. THE BERZERKER (w/ Mr. Fuji):
(WWF Wrestling Challenge, Nov. 1992)
* Bret Hart defends his newly-won WWF Title against the Berzerker in Regina, Saskatchewan, proving himself to be the “Fightingest Champion in WWF History”, as his M.O. at the time was to build credibility and respect by a constant stream of TV wins over the entire lower and midcard. As he had recently been just an IC-tier guy, it was pretty brilliant, especially as a key component of his act was being a more “human” guy in a world of cartoons, and his best aspect was his in-ring skill vs. his promos- this could then be shown off more often.

Rick Rude, Ultimate Warrior & Chris Masters were all “Physique Guys”, but none of them could have ACTUALLY won Mr. Universe. Atlas… actually could have. His “Mr. USA” nickname was actually a shoot- he really won that competition (thrice!).

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time- a request, as The Incredible Hulk Hogan takes on “Mr. USA” Tony Atlas in two different matches in 1981! This is a heel Hulk Hogan and Atlas, one of the most authentically “Mr. Universe”-ready wrestlers of all time. I’ve never seen Atlas in his athletic prime, so here I’ll see if he’s any good (um… haha)!

Also up is another part of the legendary “Tape Trading For Sabu” series, as he takes on Chris Candido again in a Ladder Match! WrestleMania X saw an ass-ton of Ladder Matches in its wake and this was… one of them. Then it’s more Well Dunn goodness, as they team up with BLAKE BEVERLY to take on Tatanka & The Steiner Brothers! Yeah, early in their run, they’re set up to die by teaming with a solo tag wrestler against actually pushed acts. And finally, I throw in Papa Shango vs. The Repo Man in a rare Heel vs. Heel featured match on WWF TV!

THE INCREDIBLE HULK HOGAN (w/ Classy Freddie Blassie) vs. “MR. USA” TONY ATLAS:
(March 16th 1981)
* This is a feud from the 1981 run of Hulk Hogan in the WWF, back when he was a smirking heel under Blassie. In a separate YouTube video, Atlas gives a good, if stumbly, “humble babyface” promo where he talks about how he loves working out, but wrestling is more than big muscles and you have to know your way around the ring, then Vince badgers him into posing to show off said big muscles. He indeed has monstrous arms and a huge chest, with a pretty small (if under-toned) waist. Skips leg day, though. But in comes Hogan & Blassie- Hogan, in a much less gravelly voice than I’m used to, talks down the physique of “this brown clown right here”, then repeatedly tells the “boy” that he can’t even shine his shoes- Tony shoves him back, proclaiming “My momma didn’t raise no BOY- she raised a 6’2″ 250-lb. MAN!” and it’s on.

Boy, I hope you guys like Well Dunn, because I went on a tear of YouTube clips featuring the lowest-tier heel team in WWF history! My god, they faced the Blus, Headshrinkers, and did all sorts of trios matches! This column will be a veritable “Best of Well Dunn”! I bet you can’t WAIT!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I fill this one with a handful of oddities today, as we get an ever-rare “Bret & Owen Hart in a tag team” match, as they dress like a real tag team and take on an actual team in the bottom-tier Well Dunn shortly before the “Hart Brothers vs. Not-Jerry Lawler and His Knights” Survivor Series match!

After that, it’s a follow-up to last week’s column, as Terry Funk & Stan Hansen meet each other again, this time with Dory Funk Jr. backing up his brother and Terry Gordy backing up Stan! Then it’s something that’s apparently an old tape-trader classic, as the “Gotta get all the Sabu matches we can find!” days saw a lot of Sabu vs. Chris Candido matches on fancams! Oh, and I didn’t want this to be only three matches long, so I stick in a WCW Prime jobber match- “Dirty” Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck vs. Los Especialistas! I was hoping they’d be some interesting Luchadores… but no.

BRET & OWEN HART vs. WELL DUNN (Timothy Well & Steven Dunn, w/ Harvey Whippleman):
(WWF Wrestling Challenge, Nov 14th 1993)
* Hahahaha HELL YES, couldn’t find Harts vs. Steiners on YouTube, but I have THIS! Well Dunn were two indie tag guys just slapped in singlets with goofy thongs over top and thrown out there to die as a “Fake Featured” tag team that just jobbed to all the top ones. I didn’t realize they’d been fed to the Harts. They’re in black singlets & purple thongs this week, and hey, wasn’t Well in better shape? He looks pasty and with no physique here. Of more interest is the Hart Brothers’ matching outfits- Bret’s in all pink (his regular look temporarily) and Owen’s in all BLUE, dropping his parachute pants and lacking the black singlet he’d later wear for the rest of his life. For “Gear Nerds” like me, that’s a very unique look, especially as a duo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2pH7B_NoK0&t=858s&ab_channel=PavelDurak

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! And this time I have a hell of a brawl for you, as Terry Funk shows just why he may be the greatest seller of all time in a brutal bloodbath against the monstrous Stan Hansen in 1983 All Japan!

I’ll also get to another request, as I visit two Attitude Era matches featuring the Hardy Boyz vs. Too Cool, back when Too Cool was a reliable “Secondary Contender” team in the very heated WWF tag team ranks! Also, a sequel to one of my “Halloween Eve” reviews, as Damian 666, El Espectro Jr., Karis La Momia (a mummy!) & Halloween take on Pierroth Jr. and three Villanos! And finally, I throw in one last Kurasawa (Manabu Nakanishi in WCW) match, as I find him facing Sting in a long WCW Saturday Night contest!

STAN HANSEN vs. TERRY FUNK:
(All Japan, 1983)
* Ohhhhhhh yeah- I’ve seen very little 1980s AJPW, but Terry & Hansen were HUGE back in the day, with the crowds adoring them beyond all other foreign wrestlers. Terry had an emotional connection with the fans, while Hansen just had them in a combination of amusement and awe. The crowd absolutely mobs Terry when he comes down, but holy god to they part ways for STAN, who swings wildly and blindly. Both guys are in black trunks, with Stan dwarfing Terry- it’s so weird seeing Funk with big muscles, though- my only memories are of him as this old man. He’s still giving up a LOT of mass to the burly Hansen, though.

Davey Boy Smith was certainly a powerhouse! The British Bulldog lifts Big Van Vader and Mabel!
byu/CaliSasuke inSquaredCircle

Rope-assisted or not, JESUS CHRIST.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one I have a varied set of tag matches, interspersed with a terrible singles match! We start off with a random TV tag match between the newly-heel Men on a Mission and the Allied Powers (Lex Luger & British Bulldog), largely inessential save for one of the absolute motherfuckingest strength spots I’ve ever seen in wrestling on the part of Davey-Boy.

I also take an interesting look at the mentor figures of two guys we’re a lot more familiar with outside of Mexico, as it’s Rey Mysterio & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Fuerza & Juventud Guerrera! Yes, our beloved Rey with his uncle, teaming up against a very young Juice and his own dad (who was a POWER wrestler, believe it or not!). Then it’s a request, as the “Million Dollar Corporation” gets a prelude as Ted DiBiase takes on Nikolai Volkoff in 1990 for one of Volkoff’s last matches before he left for a while. And finally, we have the last few minutes of a semi-infamous Hart Foundation vs. Legion of Doom match- an all-time Dream Match that Bret says was ruined by Hawk downing some somas immediately beforehand. It’s mostly interesting as an historical curiosity (and for a pretty great finish, actually).

MEN ON A MISSION (Mabel & Mo) vs. THE ALLIED POWERS (Lex Luger & British Bulldog):
(WWF TV, May 14th 1995)
* A wild match setting up the newly-heel Men on a Mission (pre-King Mabel) against the Allied Powers- a “Superteam” of sorts that just never got that big push. The M.O.M. have shifted their gear to add black to the purple & gold scheme, while Lex & Bulldog are in matching red white & blue gear with their own flags.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScrEGO51RJg&t=193s&ab_channel=NLWrestlingArchive

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a huge “Wait, THAT happened?” match, as the BRITISH BULLDOGS face the ROCK ‘N’ ROLL EXPRESS! In the AWA. And it goes… well, let’s see why this isn’t a tape trading legend, why don’t we?

Next up, I continue my look at Manabu Nakanishi in WCW, as “Kurasawa” takes his martial arts to the “Macho Man” Randy Savage in a pair of matches set six months apart- the latter of which when Kurasawa had definitely entered the job squad!

And finally, remember last week when I subjected y’all to Sgt. Craig Pittman vs. The Cobra? Well now they’re TAG PARTNERS, and their opponents are the freakin’ Faces of Fear! This one actually ends up great… if you want to see how the mechanics of wrestling work, because Pittman here is SO BAD that he actually throws off all three other wrestlers, none of whom seem to know what to do with him flailing around all weird. It’s one of the greatest examples of a wrestler being such a stiff that nobody can do anything with him.

THE BRITISH BULLDOGS (Davey-Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid) vs. THE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL EXPRESS (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson):
(AWA When Worlds Collide, 1989)
* This is a completely wild Dream Match I had no idea existed, as the Bulldogs typically existed in the WWF & Japan while the Express were mostly in the Southern companies/NWA. The Bulldogs are shredded to the gills here, just on ALL the steroids (especially Smith), while the Express are the same doughy guys they always were, absolutely dwarfed by their opponents (neither of whom were that big in the WWF). Makes you realize why they never did a run in the WWF around this time, ya know? The Express are in black & blue tights, and the Bulldogs are in their white & blue ones with the Union Jacks on the asses. Luscious Johnny Valiant is doing commentary, putting over the Bulldogs but mentioning that the Express match their experience. Legend Pat O’Connor is the ref here.

The “Two-Colored Mullet” look is really, uh, something.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! And this time, I get to torture you all with the illustrious Cobra/Sgt. Craig Pittman feud! But first! A very odd one-off (considering they shared a company for years), as it’s “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. the future Fit Finlay- back when he was the mullet-wearing Belfast Bruiser! This was back when Macho Man was still a regular wrestler on Monday Nitro and not just doing promos and beatdowns.

Also a co-headliner of sorts as the Road Warriors take on the Powers of Pain in 1988, shortly before the Warriors’ non-union Mexican equivalents bail for the WWF! And then it’s the WWF Jobber hell-zone that is Skinner vs. “Pump It Up!” Jim Powers in 1992!

But yeah, this is also the time I take a look at Sgt. Craig Pittman, who interested me a bit from the Kurasawa match I reviewed weeks ago. And turns out he sucked! Really bad! Come see HOW bad as he gets to fill tons of TV time on the D-shows with the “CIA Agent” Cobra, aka Jeff “nWo Sting” Farmer!

“THE MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE vs. THE BELFAST BRUISER:
(WCW Nitro, March 25th 1996)
* Yes, it’s MACHO MAN vs. FIT FINLAY! But it’s jobber-ish Bruiser with a brown mullet/buzzcut combo and a hideous mustache in addition to his goofy Mad Max one-shoulderpad leather jacket. They put over him using European uppercuts & smashing up Steven Regal’s face and OH MY GOD Heenan namedrops that it made Steven Regal’s face “look worse than Princess Di’s car that she smashed up” which is a reference that now reads COMPLETELY different (it was some other car accident, don’t worry!). Bruiser’s in a black singlet with “Ireland” across the front. Macho Man’s in white tights and is on the roids big-time.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have a pretty spectacular bout from Mexico to lead off with, as all you nay-sayers shucking on El Dandy all the time will have to eat crow as he has an amazing, bloody Hair vs. Hair Match against El Satanico! I also take a look at a random WCW match, as the Road Warriors take on Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck in 1996. Also, my nightmare is your nightmare, as I subject you all to a SEVENTEEN MINUTE Ted DiBiase vs. Tatanka match, as the Million Dollar Man faces a green-ass Chris Chavis in a 1991 house show match that’s either a giant rib or a big test of what this kid can do (translation: nothing).

HAIR vs. HAIR MATCH:
EL DANDY vs. EL SATANICO:
(Empresa Mexicana De La Lucha Libre, Mexico, Dec. 16th 1990)
* This match is rated ****1/2 by the WON, so it seems to be El Dandy’s most jam-up match ever! I am completely unfamiliar with Satanico, but he’s been wrestling for a billion years and was about 37 here. His list of titles is as long as your arm, but I don’t know if any of these belts mean much- he’s the founder of the “Los Infernales” stable and Fandom says he’s one of the best trainers in Mexico. Dandy’s actually pretty muscular here (though he has a bad steroid belly), wearing long white tights, while Satanico has the same doughy pregnant physique El Dandy had in WCW seven years later, and he’s in a black singlet with flame designs on the legs. Satanico attacks El Dandy as soon as he hits the ring, smashing him into the post- he’s already busted open!

I’ve a special “Dream Matches” column this week, as I did one on Sunday for horror movie-themed guys, but wanted to get back to the regular Wednesday schedule with a smaller column. And as someone brought up this infamous bit from Nitro history, I figured I’d make it the focus, as it’s as well-known for the reactions of the commentators (who laughed throughout most of it) as it is for being surprisingly good. And I’ll throw in a random other Lucha match after it, because otherwise this is less than 1000 words!

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MEXICAN HARDCORE MATCH:
LA PARKA & SILVER KING vs. CICLOPE & DAMIAN:
(WCW Nitro, July 7th 1999)
* So this is a VERY infamous match from the latter era of WCW, when the WWF was destroying them in the war. They do the usual “WCW” thing of trotting out four random guys, mostly nobodies, to fill space on their massive show, only this time it’s a Hardcore match because WWF was doing stuff like that, too. La Parka was pretty over but still a TV jobber, while the other three may as well have been Barry Horowitz- they NEVER won and were total jobber nothings, especially Ciclope. They move a bunch of plunder to the ring as Tony & Bobby on commentary laugh at the notion of a “Falls Count Anywhere MEXICAN Hardcore Match!”, repeatedly referencing the full name of the match while laughing… get used to that.

It’s time for a Very Special Dream Matches column: I take a look at various Halloween-themed matches, as all the horror movie-themed wrestlers I can find get a look!

So it turns out that “Creative use of copywrite law” is a very common gimmick in wrestling, because holy crap were there a lot of guys ripping off horror movie villains, right down to the names- wrestling has sported multiple Jason the Terribles, Leatherfaces and even a Freddy Krueger & Crypt Keeper or two! So come see them in various messy, bloody matches all over the world!

So tonight we start off with Jason the Terrible vs. Carlos Colón in that youngster’s native Puerto Rico, in a Barbed Wire match! Then it’s Jason in Stampede Wrestling against Makhan Singh (Mike Shaw)! A horror-themed lucha libre match from Mexico sees Halloween (Ciclope as a pumpkin-man), Karis de Momia (a mummy-themed wrestler), Damian 666 & El Espectro Jr. (a ghost wrestler!) vs. Antifaz, Latin Lover, Sergio Roma & Silver Star! Then we go to Japan, where it’s Leatherface vs. Freddy Krueger (Doug Gilbert!) in a parking lot brawl! And finally, it’s Cactus Jack and the Crypt Keeper (one of Los Boriquas in a baseball uniform and the most embarrassing mask in wrestling history) teaming up against another Leatherface and Shoji Nakamaki in another barbed wire match!

BARBED WIRE MATCH:
JASON THE TERRIBLE vs. THAT YOUNGSTER, CARLOS COLON:
(World Wrestling Council, Puerto Rico, 1989)
* It’s the same Jason as the Stampede one (I think- the video description sez so!), in Puerto Rico against native son Carlos Colón, dressed in a red one-strapped singlet (and with an Abdullah-tier scarred forehead). Jason is HUGE here, absolutely dwarfing Colón when you see the two of them standing straight up- at least half a head taller. The barbed wire criss-crosses the ring ropes up and down the whole length of the ring, and extends about a foot over the top rope.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! And I have more of the very stuff that made me come up with this column- horrible, horrible bouts that embarrass the very business! That’s right- it’s 1992 Andre and the most low-rent thing that maybe ever happened in a WWF ring- Ninja Turtle cosplayers!

So yep- we start off with one of those bizarre lucha Trios matches, this one involving Andre the Giant (at his most unhealthy-looking and bedraggled) and Bam Bam Bigelow of all people, teaming up with legend Dr. Wagner Jr. against three big-time stars in Canek, Villano III and FISHMAN! Yes, FISHMAN!

Then I watch a notorious one-off appearance of the “Toxic Turtles” (of course it’s the Executioners under the masks), as two guys in low-rent TMNT Halloween costumes face off against two jobbers in a squash so bad the crowd goes from “Wait… this is dumb” to “I am personally aggrieved to be subjected to this and want you people DEAD!” in record time!

The remainder is a mix: I wanted to check out more Kurasawa, so here he is being fed to The Giant in in-1996. And then there’s Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis from a Nitro around the same time!

ANDRE THE GIANT, BAM BAM BIGELOW & DR. WAGNER JR. vs. EL CANEK, VILLANO III & FISHMAN:
(Mexico, April 24th 1992)
* Haha, YES! Another “hit random on Fire Pro” Mexico match with a fading Andre the Giant, decked out in a red singlet that looks like it was cut out of a couch. And he’s teaming up with Bam Bam of all people, as well as Dr. Wagner Jr., one of those big stars & great workers who just never went abroad as much as his peers. Poor Andre is holding himself up via Doc, and can barely hoist himself up into the ring. The opponents are all big-name lucha guys- Canek is a major superstar, Villano III is the superior to his bros IV & V, and Fishman is apparently a huge ’70s star is now one of those “old slow dudes” by the ’90s. Canek’s in black, Fishman green & Villano in red- Fishman is REALLY bulky, with a ton of muscle mass and a bit of a gut. Canek is BROAD- a real powerhouse dude. VIII is a bit top-heavy, slender at the waist and delicately built aside from his chest/shoulder area.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend- The Berzerker returns to my column! In a match that doesn’t suck!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, we have some surprisingly hard-fought, bludgeoning midcard matches to start us off, as the Big Boss Man faces The Berzerker on WWF Prime Time, and Sgt. Craig Pittman faces Kurasawa (Manabu Nakanishi) on WCW Nitro!

Also, I have Fire & Ice vs. The State Patrol, as the undersized veterans oddly control most of the match against their huge opponents Scott Norton & Ice Train. Then it’s more of Mortis & Wrath on the WCW midcard, as they take on Harlem Heat on Saturday Night, back when Jacequelyn was their manager! Then I watch Salvatore Sincere fall into the bottom-tier heel dead zone of “teaming up with a jobber” as he ends up wrestling the now-serious Godwinns on Shotgun… and we cap things off with one of Nitro’s most infamously bad matches, as Juventud Guerrera has to face the huge, way too green JOE GOMEZ!

THE BIG BOSS MAN vs. THE BERZERKER (w/ Mr. Fuji):
(WWF Prime Time Feb 17th, 1992)
* The greatest of all un-over failed midcard heel gimmicks, The Berzerker, actually gets another featured match in mid-1992 against the Boss Man! I don’t recall too many competitive Berzerker matches during this early part of my fandom, so this is fun.

I have a unique Dream Matches column for you today, as I take a look at one of All Japan’s biggest matches of the 1980s, with Ace, Jumbo Tsuruta taking on Genichiro Tenryu- can the grumpiest man in wrestling unseat the younger, ex-sumo upstart? It’s not a weirdo match like I usually post on here, but hey- it’s considered one of the best matches of the 1980s!

Following that, I have more standard stuff for this column, as there’s a throwaway match with two guys’ worst gimmicks, as Flash Funk takes on the legendary ROCKABILLY, in a bout you’d never guess would have major repercussions for the Attitude Era… but there it is. Also, there’s Steve “Mongo” McMichael vs. Jim Powers (with a MANAGER!), and poor Haku deals with his early ’90s de-push as he gets fed to Tugboat, maybe the dumbest gimmick of the Hogan Era!

TRIPLE CROWN TITLE:
JUMBO TSURUTA vs. GENICHIRO TENRYU:
(All Japan, June 5th 1989)
* The big match of All Japan in the ’80s, as their two top natives go against each other. Jumbo, the super-Ace of AJPW, is well-established as the top dog and looks to be at Peak Grumpiness here. Like a grizzly bear that got woken up from hibernation early and wants to just beat this fool’s ass as quickly as possible so he can go the f*ck back to bed, god damn it. Like he looks pissed off just to be awake. The crowd is just ROARING through the introductions, proving that Japanese crowds aren’t ALWAYS quiet and “respectful”. Both guys are in black, but Tenryu has yellow boots and curly hair, and a bulky sumo physique, revealing his origins. Jumbo’s big moves are the Jumping Knee & Jumbo Lariat, while Tenryu uses an Enzuigiri & Folding Powerbomb.

The Great Muta in his legendary North American run.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! As I realize I’ve not done a lot of extra reviews since I got back from vacation, so this is even more of a smattering of weird small matches than usual! But I found some weird oddities here, headed off by a No-DQ match between The Great Muta & “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert! Gilbert’s one of my big black holes of fandom, as I didn’t watch other companies in the 1980s and he died before I paid attention to any of them.

Next up, we have a pair of “Established Stars vs. Weirdo 1997 Gimmicks”, as the prior era of the WWF dies down and we still have some lame gimmicks kicking about until the Attitude Era truly begins. Come see Ken Shamrock vs. Salvatore Sincere, and Mankind vs. The Sultan! Poor Sultan had even lost his MANAGERS by this point!

Then I get into more Silver King, as I see what happens when he takes on an American jobber in Rocky King (translation: it’s ugly! There’s a reason most lucha-trained guys fought only each other!)! And finally, it’s WCW tag mayhem, as The Steiner Brothers fight The Blue Bloods (Steven Regal & Dave Taylor), and the Road Warriors fight job squad Pat Tanaka and The Gambler! Yes, WCW was so into hiring WWF cast-offs they had PAT TANAKA!

NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH:
THE GREAT MUTA (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “HOT STUFF” EDDIE GILBERT (w/ Missy Hyatt):
(NWA Power Hour, Aug. 12th 1989)
* From Muta’s legendary US run comes a match against Eddie Gilbert, whom I know almost literally nothing about. He’s some short southern guy (the same height as his high-heeled valet), but was considered a great mind of the business, but died young at only 33 of a heart attack. Muta silently grabs Missy and spews the green mist DIRECTLY in her face in a great bit, just looking like a total demon. Eddie, in baby blue tights, attacks immediately.

Misawa back when he was the second Tiger Mask.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have an old All Japan match featuring young AWA World Champion Curt Hennig up against Mitsuharu Misawa, back when he was the the second Tiger Mask! Both these guys were ****-***** workers in their primes, so let’s see what they had in 1988!

Then after that, it’s a bizarre pair of matches from the WWF, as the Headbangers (then a midcard heel duo) face off against Jerry Lawler and “Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam, his ally from ECW in their invasion against “Extremely Crappy Wrestling” during the weird time when ECW was frequently invading RAW! And then it’s over to WCW, as Harlem Heat face The Amazing French Canadians (Jacques Rougeau & PCO) on a D-show and actually have a pretty decent match out of it!

AWA WORLD TITLE:
TIGER MASK II (Mitsuharu Misawa) vs. CURT HENNIG:
(All Japan Pro Wrestling, Jan. 8th 1988)
* Oh man! MR. PERFECT vs. MISAWA! From 1988 before Misawa’s prime, but still. Hennig was still in the AWA at this point. His red & blue robe with stars on it is… a choice. He’s babyfaced and in black & white trunks, which always looks weird because the singlet is so iconic now. Misawa in the TM garb always looks kind of odd, too. All the other dudes were small, lithe juniors and Misawa is pretty hefty. Like, he’s clearly bigger than Curt here.

MATCHES THROUGH THE AGES: REY MYSTERIO vs. EDDIE GUERRERO

-Okay, so a couple weeks back I posted the first one of these, featuring a bunch of Rey Mysterio/Ultimo Dragon matches! But then I went on a Disney World vacation and was too busy running from Princess Security to do more, so now that I’m back I can do another one! This time I wanted to do a two-match review of Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio’s most famous encounters- the fabulous Halloween Havoc match and the infamous WrestleMania 21 bout. Now the latter is a well-known disappointment, so I kinda wanted to look into why. I believe in a shoot after the fact it was suggested that they were trying way too hard to equal the Havoc bout, and I can buy that- it’s hard to match an old classic, especially with much older wrestlers.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time we’re starting off with a request, as Bret “Hitman” Hart takes on Paul Roma in 1991 WWF! When Bret REALLY started impressive people with how excellent his execution truly was. Then it’s a truly whacky 6-man tag, as the WWF’s lowest-level babyfaces team up against a new team and the bottom-tier heel- it’s Kerry Von Erich, Greg Valentine & “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka against the Beverly Brothers and Pat Tanaka! Then it’s over to WCW, as Harlem Heat take on the Fantastics in a pretty good generational tag team match! And some more obscure goodness, as four of WCW’s British wrestlers face off- it’s Steven Regal & Dave Taylor vs. “Gentleman” Chris Adams & Norman Smiley! Finally, we end with a couple of random Tokyo Magnum WCW contests- with such varied competition as “Hole In One” Barry Darsow and Eddie Guerrero!

BRET “HIT MAN” HART vs. PAUL ROMA (w/ Slick):
(WWF Prime Time, July 1st 1991)
* Bret Hart’s new singles push continues as he faces a very “Jobbing Face” Paul Roma, frowning and wearing the long Power & Glory tights. Sean Mooney declares that Bret Hart would NEVER brag, which is rich considering his primary catchphrase is to declare himself the greatest wrestler there is, was and ever will be.