Rick Rude, Ultimate Warrior & Chris Masters were all “Physique Guys”, but none of them could have ACTUALLY won Mr. Universe. Atlas… actually could have. His “Mr. USA” nickname was actually a shoot- he really won that competition (thrice!).
Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time- a request, as The Incredible Hulk Hogan takes on “Mr. USA” Tony Atlas in two different matches in 1981! This is a heel Hulk Hogan and Atlas, one of the most authentically “Mr. Universe”-ready wrestlers of all time. I’ve never seen Atlas in his athletic prime, so here I’ll see if he’s any good (um… haha)!
Also up is another part of the legendary “Tape Trading For Sabu” series, as he takes on Chris Candido again in a Ladder Match! WrestleMania X saw an ass-ton of Ladder Matches in its wake and this was… one of them. Then it’s more Well Dunn goodness, as they team up with BLAKE BEVERLY to take on Tatanka & The Steiner Brothers! Yeah, early in their run, they’re set up to die by teaming with a solo tag wrestler against actually pushed acts. And finally, I throw in Papa Shango vs. The Repo Man in a rare Heel vs. Heel featured match on WWF TV!
THE INCREDIBLE HULK HOGAN (w/ Classy Freddie Blassie) vs. “MR. USA” TONY ATLAS:
(March 16th 1981)
* This is a feud from the 1981 run of Hulk Hogan in the WWF, back when he was a smirking heel under Blassie. In a separate YouTube video, Atlas gives a good, if stumbly, “humble babyface” promo where he talks about how he loves working out, but wrestling is more than big muscles and you have to know your way around the ring, then Vince badgers him into posing to show off said big muscles. He indeed has monstrous arms and a huge chest, with a pretty small (if under-toned) waist. Skips leg day, though. But in comes Hogan & Blassie- Hogan, in a much less gravelly voice than I’m used to, talks down the physique of “this brown clown right here”, then repeatedly tells the “boy” that he can’t even shine his shoes- Tony shoves him back, proclaiming “My momma didn’t raise no BOY- she raised a 6’2″ 250-lb. MAN!” and it’s on.
They get into the ring, but Hogan cheapshots Tony before he can even get through the ropes and chokes him out. He slams Atlas but misses the big leg, only to crotch Atlas on the top rope. For the main match, Hogan is in red trunks; Atlas in yellow- Hogan’s floppy mop of blonde hair is something at this point, though he’s spreading it across the top, combover-style.
Hogan pushes Atlas into the corner repeatedly and flexes, but Atlas shames his body definition with his own posing and builds himself up, shoving Hogan back and headlocking him. Hogan goes to the hair and easily wins a couple of shoulderblock battles, but Atlas hits a crossbody for two and HE cups his hands to hear the adulation of the fans! Hogan knees him in the corner and hits the bodyslam/Running Legdrop combo… for two, as Atlas flings him off! Yup, not his finisher yet. Atlas wins a slugfest and PRESS SLAMS Hogan, but Hogan gets an eyerake & suplex. Atlas fires back and does some dancing backfist jabs, but Hogan grabs him.. and tries to crotch him on the top rope TWICE but fails both times and seem to improvise into another slugfest, but Atlas crotches HOGAN on the top rope and pins him with his leg hanging all the way over the second rope for the pin (7:08), scoring an unfair win the heels can justifiably whine about. Hogan, however, goes the extra mile by SLUGGING the referee, then hitting the bodyslam & legdrop on him!
This was a ponderously-slow, lazy match, with every move milked like nuts. Not the worst kind of match to be fair, but you can see why contemporary “smarks” of the day hated this style. The bit with the crotching spot was weird, as it looked like it was supposed to end up being a real move, but Atlas didn’t sell it, they REPEATED it, and Vince merely covered for it by saying Hogan was trying to do it (to be fair, he was) and Atlas got revenge for it.
Rating: *3/4 (just a very slow, ponderous match but technically fine and with some good heat and mannerisms from both guys)
HULK HOGAN vs. “MR. USA” TONY ATLAS:
(April 18th 1981)
* The commentator talks about Hogan’s role in the upcoming “Rocky III” picture (1982), and how Hulk hopes it’ll lead to MORE movie roles. Well, sorta- it’d also net Vince his biggest star just about ever. Interesting that “Rocky III” came about in ’82 and Hogan actually left the company in the interim. Hogan’s now in white trunks, Atlas in black, and we have no Blassie anymore.
They each shove each other to the corner to start, then Hulk uses a headlock for a solid minute. Atlas wriggles free then catches Hogan in one, and Hogan tries the same escape technique but fails. He cheapshots Atlas off a break and slams him (I notice Atlas takes all his big back-bumps by hitting his legs first, making them look really weak)- an elbowdrop gets two. Hogan works a neckvice and chinlock as this just goes ON, but Atlas finally hits “go” and beats the hell out of Hogan, hits the press slam, and throws shots to the back, Hogan writhing and thrashing with every one. Atlas hits a vertical suplex & bearhug to slow it down again, and Hogan makes the ropes after almost exactly one minute (America & Japan must both have a “one-minute” time for restholds- joshi does this, too), then Hogan makes the ropes and goes to the eyes, pounding Atlas down and hitting a suplex, back elbow & bodyslam into the Running Legdrop, getting a “69” pin for two. Atlas comes back with a headbutt off the second rope then ANOTHER resthold via a facelock, but Atlas finally throws a big flurry, but takes out the ref with Hogan’s leg via a bodyslam. Hogan nails him with an axehandle when he tries to revive the ref and tosses Atlas to the floor- he desperately tries to revive the ref to count Atlas out, but it backfires when Atlas sneaks in with a rollup at (13:02). ATLAS PINS HOGAN!! A furious Hogan drops an elbow on the ref to kill him off.
Okay, this was AWFUL- just a horrendous pile of restholds, as these two behemoths were not gonna do a full 13 minutes without them (I doubt Atlas in particular had the conditioning given how ripped he was). Hogan’s heel mannerisms were terrific, and he even SOLD well, but there were 3-4 big, BIG restholds in this match and it was dreadful. Atlas’s stuff is sloppy and he can’t even BUMP well (hitting his feet first to diminish all the impacts). You could tell Hogan had something, and Atlas had some good (if sloppy) flurries, but hoo boy.
Rating: * (awful thanks to all the restholds)
For a little bit there, Beau Beverly had left the WWF, and poor Blake was sent out there as a “Fake Featured Match” Jobber To The Stars.
TATANKA & THE STEINER BROTHERS (Rick & Scott Steiner) vs. BLAKE BEVERLY & WELL DUNN (Timothy Well & Steven Dunn):
(WWF All American Wrestling, July 18th 1993)
* Hahaha, look at THIS silly-ass trios match! The Steiners & Tatanka are heavily pushed acts, so of course they’re up against this total job squad, back when Blake (Mike Enos) was doing solo jobs after the Beverlies were done. This is totally weird, though, as Well Dunn (with no manager) are in white thong-singlets with purple leggings- a look I don’t recall… and Blake is CLEAN-SHAVEN! Rick’s in a black singlet with multi-colored polka-dots and Scott’s is bisected half-black half-every color.
Monsoon & Ross talk about the rotten luck of Well Dunn debuting here against the Steiners (though they actually debuted losing to the Smoking Gunns), then Gorilla blows my mind (when Dunn complains about Scott pulling the tights) when he flat-out says “He reminds me of ANOTHER Dunn we have here in the WWF… HE’S a crybaby, too!” (JR: “Uh-Oh!”). Scott hits the Muta Lock, but Dunn & Blake run in- the heat segment is cut short with an overhead belly-to-belly on Blake, though! Well manages a cheap shot on Rick, but tries a second flying axehandle and HE gets an overhead b-to-b! Rick also catches him with the mid-air powerslam and Tatanka works Well over, then Blake comes in and gets powerslammed, taking a lot of big bumps off of chops, probably trying to keep his job. He dodges a cross-body and Well Dunn work Tatanka over, but Tatanka gets his boot up and makes the hot tag- Double Steinerline from Rick to Well Dunn, and a single from Scott to Blake, and Tatanka (who isn’t legal) just picks up Blake for Papoose to Go (called as such by Ross- his Samoan drop finisher) at (9:07).
Almost an extended squash for the babyface team, as they run through some of their basic stuff on the JTTS squad. A couple minutes of heat then goes onto Tatanka but the hot tag leads directly to the finish. Sadly we didn’t see everyone’s best (though there were some suplexes in the early going). Blake kind of impressed me by FLYING around for Tatanka’s stuff but it was for naught as far as his career went.
Rating: ** (basic everyday tag team match- long-ish for TV but didn’t feel so long, which is a good sign)
LADDER MATCH:
CCW TITLE:
“THE SUICIDE BLOND” CHRIS CANDIDO vs. SABU (w/ JR Benton & some floozie):
(“California Creative Wrestling” maybe?, June 19th 1994)
* It’s another Candido/Sabu match, as they take their act to whatever the hell “CCW” is in 1994- there’s been a LOT of CCWs out there. WrestleMania X was only months before this, and I have little doubt that it inspired an ASS-TON of ladder matches in podunk indies just like this one- Sabu wrestled Al Snow in one a month after this. This is some awful fuzzy fancam thing, despite having commentary. Like I can’t even tell what color gear anyone has on. Oh man, the ring doesn’t even have an apron so it’s just some posts and a mat. Did they hock the apron for the ladder?
Candido gets the ladder right away, but Sabu baseball slides it away. Candido wins a slugfest but Sabu gets the ladder and Candido sells a wimpy shot BIG-TIME and the crowd actually bites on it (Sabu actually tossed it into the mat and then it bumped Candido, who did the full back spasm “OOHHHHHHHH!” sell). Candido reverses a whip and clotheslines him into the ladder in the corner, then catapalts him into it as we repeat Shawn/Razor spots, but Candido does it again in an empty corner and gets cannonballed, backflipping off the bump, but he electric chair drops Sabu when he climbs the ladder and nails him with it twice (taking his time between shots). He misses a splash off the ladder, but Sabu’s moonsault misses as well. They milk every little move now, taking 30 seconds between bumps as Sabu hits the floor, pushes Candido off the ladder, then gets flung off the top onto it. Candido gets a Superduperplex, but tries another and gets a sunset flip powerbomb. Sabu buggers a Super Frankensteiner and eats a ladder shot and Candido’s own.
Sabu tries the sunset bomb to the floor (a regular move of his), but Candido hangs on and Sabu eats shit on the bump. Sabu’s manager helps him up but eats Candido’s pescado when Sabu ducks, and Sabu “hits” an Asai Moonsault (he misses completely at lands hips-first on the floor) and puts Candido on a table, but stomps on it when Candido moves and falls over. The commentator’s voice is now cracking like he just went through puberty in his attempts to sound exasperated. Candido falls off the broken ladder while Sabu fails to set up the table, as one leg broke from his fall. Sabu hits two sentons but falls off the ladder, then both fall off onto the ref, then the shredded ladder falls again and again as both guys go for the belt, but Sabu FINALLY manages to get it to stay together long enough to grab the belt… but Benton runs in and throws powder into Sabu’s eyes and gives the belt to Candido, and the ref revives and awards HIM the win the CCW Title at (15:45), the commentator doing the most idiotic “NUHHHHHHHHH” voice-cracking screech ever to this miscarriage of justice. Sabu responds by cracking Benton with a chair and tearing the top off that floozie (is that Tammy?). Then moonsaults a table to show he’s crazy… and bangs off of it knee-first, probably badly hurting himself. Then DOES IT AGAIN, and tries two more times before giving up, because this is some “I am the Table!” bullshit.
Well, you can’t say Candido wasn’t putting the effort in- he was bumping for days, here, backrolling off stuff, hitting the mat and leaping up in agony, etc. He was bumping like a dude who wanted Vince to notice him, even if the match was just a lame Shawn/Razor retread with worse timing. Sabu started running through his regular stuff and then a bunch of spots didn’t go right, like him leaping off the ladder and just sorta kicking the table over on his bump and both guys harmlessly falling off the ladder when it collapses under them (both struts were out and it was wobbling- Sabu even tried to improvise grabbing the belt by leaping off the top rope).
Rating: *1/2 (just a mess with a ton of stalling and the occasional big bump)
Papa Shango didn’t seem to last long by my estimation, but he pops up as a JTTS many times through late 1992 and 1993.
REPO MAN vs. PAPA SHANGO:
(WWF Superstars, Dec. 14th 1992)
* !!!!!!!!!!! Heel vs. Heel! Repo vs. Shango! It’s the battle of the failed 1992 gimmicks! But like… this almost NEVER happened on TV! What kind of a featured match is that? Absolutely fascinating, as much as the match will suck.
Shango & Repo circle each other to start, then Shango does his trademark slow slugging away and hits a clothesline. Repo is all “nonononono!” selling a wristlock but this match already blows, then he dodges a charge and hits a horrible clothesline into his OWN wristlock and oh god are they trying to kill this town? Shango slams him out of it and now it’s a chinlock and biting- Repo catches him with his head down and throws punches, but they do a double-clothesline, but Shango gets up and decides that 1993 Repo Man is just too dangerous an opponent and throws the match by grabbing his voodoo stick and blasting off sparklers at Repo (4:10), who grabs his hook & rope. The ref disqualifies BOTH men, which even Monsoon says is unfair, as Shango used a weapon first.
Man, this was TERRIBLE. Neither guy was any good at this point, but both were working heel and only doing wristlocks. Charles Wright was god-awful with the restholds for most of his heel work, and Repo was right here with him, not bothering to work hard at all. Given how he was nearly gone, no wonder.
Rating: 1/4* (just lazy garbage with no finish)