The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 12.04.00

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 12.04.00

Originally written 07.20.26

Live from Lincoln, NE, drawing 3300 (2500 paid). Jeff Jarrett takes out a corn husker with a guitar shot to celebrate.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Mark Madden & Scott Hudson

LAST WEEK: Scott Steiner ends the career of Stevie Ray, setting up a Starrcade match with Sid Vicious instead of anything people might want to pay to see. Like really, you’ve Sting and Goldberg both ready and you go with SID?

Meanwhile, Mike Sanders recuits Oklahoma for an upcoming controversial speech in the ring, and promises to back him up if things go south.

Oklahoma joins us while the announcers make lame football references and I guess the heat is that he’s playing someone who represents an Oklahoma football team and the crowd is for another team. So the actual point of him being there tonight is that he announces, on behalf of Mike Sanders, that if Sid “steps out of line tonight” then security will kick him out. So of course Sid comes out while Oklahoma yells for security, and no security comes out, so Sid chokeslams him. And then security does show up with Mike Sanders and the rent-a-cops arrest Sid and escort him out of the building.

Meanwhile, Scott Steiner shows up and Mike Sanders claims that Ric Flair had Sid arrested, so Steiner freaks out because HE wanted to take out Sid tonight.

Meanwhile, the Filthy Animals challenge the Harris Brothers to a street fight at Starrcade. Why? I dunno.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. v. Kwee Wee

So for those keeping track, Chavo turned on the MIA on Thunder and he’s no longer Lt. Loco. Now he’s CRAZY Chavo. He beats on Kwee Wee with chops in the corner and chokes him out on the ropes, but a blind charge misses and Wee makes the comeback and puts him down with an elbow. Chavo with a hurricane DDT and he grabs a chair from the floor, but Paisley intercepts it and Kwee Wee gets a sunset flip for two. Chavo puts him down with a dropkick and tosses him over the top, which is no longer a DQ as of 1999, and they brawl on the floor. Back in, Kwee Wee slams him facefirst, but Chavo hits a brainbuster out of nowhere and pins him at 4:00. Yeah no one cares. **

Meanwhile, Ric Flair chastises Sanders for having Sid arrested.

Meanwhile, Kronik makes yet another deal to take someone out.

Meanwhile, MIA (what’s left of them) prepares for General Rection to face Scott Steiner tonight in the main event. Rection claims this will his one and only shot at the title, although I would have thought Goldberg beat him a bunch of times in 1998. But no, according to Cagematch, I guess this really would be his one and only shot.

WCW Hardcore title: Crowbar v. Elix Skipper

So we’ve got Team Canada at ringside, plus Lance Storm AND The Cat on commentary, and all the plunder removed from ringside. But then Crowbar goes under the ring and finds more objects, like pieces of a car. Skipper beats him down with a bumper and Duggan uses the board on him outside, prompting Daffney to make the save and scrap with Major Gunns. So then Cat and Storm get involved and Duggan hits Storm by mistake, while Crowbar finishes Skipper with a front suplex at 2:20 to retain. Just a mess. DUD

Meanwhile, David Flair has a heart to heart with a returning Stacy, who doesn’t want to tell him who the father is yet. Is she still even pregnant? So Ric stops by and has security escort them to somewhere safe.

Meanwhile, Reno and Marie also have a heart-to-heart. So are they dating or related or what?

Lex Luger joins us, and brings out Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, who trained Bill Goldberg. So Luger reads from Goldberg’s book, talking about how Sarge was a tough trainer and a great family man. So Luger points out that Goldberg made millions and left Sarge to struggle for money, never sharing anything with him.

Meanwhile, Norman Smiley is worried about facing Goldberg tonight, so Scott Steiner stops by and beats him up so he doesn’t have to face him anymore.

Meanwhile, Shane Douglas swears revenge on General Rection for whatever happened to Torrie Wilson on Thunder that they didn’t recap.

Meanwhile, Chavo tries to sway Lash Leroux over to the dark side, but Rection tells him to get moving and forget Chavo.

WCW World tag team title: DDP & Kevin Nash v. Three Count

The Thrillers stole the belts last week but that went nowhere and they just ended up with the champs again. Nash beats on Shane in the corner while a smart-ass on camera side holds up a sign that says “RAW Just Started”. The crowd chants “We want Hall” and Nash tosses Shannon out of the corner. Over to DDP and he beats on Shane and puts him down with a lariat. Pancake piledriver gets two. Three Count double-teams DDP for a bit, but then Page shrugs them off and makes the tag to Nash to finish things off. Snake Eyes on Shane and Poochiebomb for Shannon ends it at 4:30. I love that they announced Three Count in a featured three-way ladder match at Starrcade and then squashed the shit out of them right after. DUD. Nash acting all “Aw shucks, nothing I can do!” while the fans chanted for Hall showed why he was smarter than everyone in the promotion at that point.

Afterwards, Mike Sanders is out, again, and this time he calls out Ric Flair. So we take a look at the footage from Mayhem, which reveals that the wrong man was pinned, so the titles are returned to the Thrillers. But in return, the Insiders get a rematch with the Thrillers for the titles at Starrcade. And this is why no one cared about WCW’s titles by the end of 2000.

Meanwhile, Mike Awesome is just walking around the parking lot, but Bam Bam Bigelow pops out of the van and attacks him to set up Starrcade.

Reno v. Kronik

Wait, so Hudson clarifies that Reno is Marie’s BROTHER. Wasn’t Vito the brother? Does that mean they’re both her brother? So Kronik hits a double chokeslam and the ref just rings the bell at 0:30. They continue the beating, but Vito makes the save and indeed they clarify that Vito and Reno are brothers and Marie is their sister. Wasn’t one of them dating Marie just a couple of weeks ago? I’m so confused right now.

Meanwhile, Blood Runs Colder as the announcers continue burying it.

Meanwhile, Daffney tries to put the moves on Crowbar, but he leaves with the Nitro Girls instead.

Meanwhile, Ric Flair sends all the security backstage to protect against Scott Steiner, who by the way has already attacked multiple people tonight with no conequences.

MI Smooth v. Goldberg

Smooth of course has a ripoff of “Smooth” for his entrance music, which makes no sense in the context of the character but makes for a musical pun I guess. I don’t know what the point of announcing Smiley as the victim and then switching it to Smooth was. Jackhammer finishes at 0:48.

Jeff Jarrett v. Konnan

Jeff attacks from behind, but Konnan beats on him with chops and hits the facebuster. Jarrett bails to the floor and beats on Konnan with a chair, and back in the ring he puts the boots to K-Dog. Konnan makes a comeback with the DDT, but Jarrett clotheslines him and then runs to the floor, claiming a knee injury while distracting the ref. So this brings out the Harris Brothers, who take out Konnan behind the ref’s back, and the Stroke finishes at 2:45. This was fine. **

WCW World title: Scott Steiner v. General Rection

Remember last week how Madden was burying the idea of the US champion being the #1 contender? I’m guessing there was heat over that and that’s why we get this. Rection has basically turned back into Hugh Morrus as the MIA completely falls apart. They bounce off each other and Rection goes up with a flying clothesline to send Steiner to the floor. Back in, Rection gets a sideslam as Midajah tries to interfere and Scott takes over with the elbowdrop and pushups. Scott puts the boots to him in the corner and follows with the belly to belly for two. Scott chokes him out on the ropes and follows with a backbreaker and it’s pose pose pose. If this was WCW Revenge his special meter would be flashing by now. Scott chokes him out in the corner, but Rection makes the comeback and slugs Steiner down before tossing him and hitting a dive. Back in the ring, Rection hits the No Laughing Matter, but it only gets two. Another one misses and Scott clubs him down and finishes with the Steiner Recliner at 8:30. A fun main event with big meaty men slapping meat. **1/2

Afterwards, Scott calls out Ric Flair and goes after him backstage while Shane Douglas attacks Rection at ringside. So Scott finds Arn Anderson at the gorilla position and attacks him, hauling him to the ring and beating on him with the lead pipe before putting him in the Recliner. But then Goldberg tries to make the save, only for Lex Luger to appear out of nowhere and attack HIM. And then Sid Vicious returns and hits the ring for a pullapart with Steiner even though I’m not really clear on what the issue is between them.

And of course, there’s an accompanying story with this, as you’re probably thinking “well how did he get out of jail?” and the answer is that they had a whole thing where Sid would break out of police custody and steal the car before driving it into the arena with lights and sirens flashing and then smashing his way through backstage security to get to the ring to face off with Steiner. But production forgot to splice the whole thing into the live broadcast and they just had him magically show up in the ring at the end instead. Because WCW.

Anyway, they had a MILLION things happening as they desperately try to set up Starrcade In two weeks, and most of it didn’t work. In particular I’m so fucking tired of Mike Sanders being the focal point of 70% of the show. However, after Starrcade they do another soft reset and the heel Flair run at least makes things a bit more bearable, as I recall.