MID-Tier Match Reviews: A Collection of BROCK LESNAR Matches

Brock Lesnar has proven himself an amazing, exceptional athlete several times throughout his career but those moments have been few and far between. While no one can deny his incredible aura and his almost freakish combination of strength and speed, he hasn’t always justified his high box office price tag. Much has already been written about his second WWE run 2012 to present so for this entry I’ll limit that to just one of his matches. The remaining four will come from his first run as The Next Big Thing in WWE and one rare match that I doubt most people have seen because it’s both so obscure and so unusual, at least for him.

Brock Lesnar vs. Akebono – NJPW Circuit 2006 Takeoff

The Story: Oh boy, you can’t get more “Dark Age New Japan” than this. Lesnar was signed to a big money deal with NJPW but he was VERY much unenthused during the entire run. Not only was he mentally burnt out by his lawsuit with WWE, he was only there for the money and it showed. Look, I get that there’s a necessary selfishness in pro wrestling to keep one from being taken advantage of, but if you’re only putting in the minimum effort and aren’t doing anything to hide that then people are going to notice and turn away. But Lesnar was only as good as his opponents and here he was booked against sumo legend Akebono. Yes, the same Akebono who faced The Big Show in a “sumo match” at WrestleMania 21. Why was he in a puroresu ring? Because he was a gigantic wrestler and a gigantic draw. He was one of the few wrestler who, through camerawork, could make Lesnar look small. Yes, Lesnar has been in the ring with bigger men but something about WWE’s cinematography made Lesnar’s opponents look monstrous without diminishing Lesnar’s size. Here, though, Lesnar looked diminutive compared to Akebono which removed that magical sense of spectacle that WWE created in its most famous monster clashes.

The Match: Akebono offers a hand but Lesnar shoves him back. The bell rings and Lesnar lands some ineffective corner shoulder thrusts. An Irish whip proves useless so Lesnar tries powering him into a different corner. Akebono barely moves and squishes Lesnar into that first one. Lesnar hits some light-looking clotheslines and attempts the Verdict. Akebono blocks and we get an immovable object spot. Lesnar bounces off the ropes…and then off of Akebono. Somewhere Michael PS Hayes likely cracked a smile. Lesnar escapes a powerslam and kicks at Akebono’s foundation. Akebono uses the ropes to escape a Backpack Sleeper so Lesnar lands some chop blocks and reapplies the Sleeper until Akebono escapes via back suplex. Akebono lands some slow-moving clotheslines and slams. Lesnar attempts another Verdict but both men fall over clumsily. Akebono powers out of a front chancery and uses his ass to squish Lesnar in a corner. Lesnar uses another Backpack Sleeper but Akebono falls backwards. Lesnar covers but Akebono throws him off. A Black Hole Slam gets Akebono two, as does a running walking splash. Akebono crushes Lesnar in a corner again but this time the referee gets caught between them. Akebono appropriately hits a Yokozuna Banzai Drop for a visual three-count and then gets another visual pin following an elbow drop. Lesnar uses the ref situation to hit a belt shot for two. He bounces off the ropes but the slightest contact with them hurts his back. Akebono no-sells and lands a hip toss for two. Lesnar follows with slow clobbering forearms and then awkwardly transitions into a DDT which gets the three-count. Wait, that’s it?

Winner after 10:35: Brock Lesnar

You can watch the full match here.

Review: Holy crap that was bad. Aside from the novelty of seeing Lesnar work from beneath against a literal behemoth, this match sucked. Akebono, bless him, was out of his depth going ten minutes here. His movements were glacial, his selling borderline nonexistent, and his movements between power moves awkward. Both he and Lesnar looked gassed within a few minutes and didn’t know what to do. Unlike WWE, which managed to work around giants’ relative immobility with camera tricks and animation, this match came across as two guys struggling to create anything magical or exceptional. They had the beginnings of a story with Lesnar unable to land power moves but the payoff was executed horribly with a flat finish that came out of nowhere. Now, having read Lesnar’s book and his justification for a “fuck finish” (he wanted to extend this feud into a multi-match series while the Inokis wanted a one-and-done encounter on free TV), hence the kick-out after the belt shot. But no matter what kind of story they worked and how much he and Akebono respected each other, the end result was a disappointment because they failed to create any legitimate dramatic tension. I’ve heard that some local outfits tried to promote this as a Heisei Era-version of Hogan versus André but sadly, for several reasons, it doesn’t come anywhere close.

Final rating: *3/4

WWE Championship Match: Brock Lesnar [c] vs. The Big Show – WWE Judgment Day 2003

The Story: During the first half of 2003, Big Show was running roughshod over SmackDown, bullying everyone in sight because he could. One of his most noted victims was Rey Mysterio, whom Show manhandled viciously, concluding with that now-famous spot involving the stretcher and the ringpost. Lesnar, then on a babyface run, vowed that he wouldn’t stand for Show’s continued actions and challenged the monster to a Stretcher Match for the WWE title.

The Match: Lesnar attacks with the portable stretcher board but Show hits back fairly soon afterwards. Lesnar escapes being driven into a corner so Show eats steel instead. Show drops Lesnar onto the wheeled stretcher but Lesnar hits back with shoulder thrusts. Show follows with a Chokeslam and a leg drop that causes Lesnar to bounce into the air. He gets midway up the ramp when Lesnar shows resistance so Show clotheslines him. Lesnar uses some cables to try choking Lesnar out but neglects removing it when placing Show on the stretcher so it yanks Show back when he pulls on the stretcher. Lesnar hits a dropkick using part of the set followed by a scoop slam. Show outpowers Lesnar enough to push him back into the edge of the ring. Lesnar lands more shots with the portable board but Lesnar answers with shoulderblocks that send Show falling off the apron. Lesnar disappears backstage for a moment as Rey Mysterio appears to 619 Show’s ribs. He clotheslines Mysterio while Lesnar returns driving a forklift with a loading pallet on it. Mysterio distracts Show long enough for Lesnar to launch himself off the forklift onto his challenger. Lesnar follows with a vertical suplex and an F-5 F-U. Then with relatively little difficulty Lesnar drags Show onto the stretcher board, loads then onto the pallet, and reverses the forklift back to the yellow line to win the match.

Winner and STILL WWE Champion after 15:27: Brock Lesnar

You can watch the full match here.

Review: A solid match but no one expected much out of mid-2000s Big Show who was at his biggest and arguably most unathletic. Lesnar had to do most of the heavy lifting here and given the stipulation there had to be heavy smoke-and-mirrors and overbooking, hence Mysterio’s appearance to delay Lesnar’s forklift surprise. There wasn’t much substance to the match as it largely consisted of brawling, weapons shots, and the odd power move. As much as I want to say something novel about the finish here, I can’t help but echo Scott’s thoughts in his reposted review from last August, in which he compared the visual of Show being carried out on a forklift with something you’d see on the TLC channel about super morbidly obese people. Here it carried a bit of a comedic undertone given its rushed execution and didn’t really paint Show in the best light. But at least Lesnar got an easy win and played babyface decently well enough, though it was clear he was more comfortable as a heel.

Final Rating: **3/4

WWE Universal Championship Match: Brock Lesnar [c] vs. Samoa Joe – Great Balls of Fire 2017

The Story: Joe won a Fatal-5-Way to earn a shot at Lesnar’s Universal Championship. Hoping to present Joe as something other than a filler challenger, WWE presented him as a killer in hype segments. He choked Paul Heyman out, got into a heated verbal exchange with the champ, and later things got physical as they needed to be forcefully separated during a brawl. Joe carried himself as a genuine threat, to the point that enough people believed that he actually stood a chance of having a competitive match with Lesnar. But beating him? That was stretching it…

The Match: Joe attacks Lesnar during intros and uranages him through a ringside table, destroying it. Lesnar survives and makes it back into the ring, smiling. The match officially begins and Joe hits a corner strike combo. Joe hits knees but then so too does Lesnar. A struggle for control ensues. Joe attempts the Coquina Clutch but Lesnar drives him into a corner. Lesnar lands three German Suplexes but uses the ropes to block a fourth and land a back low blow outside the ref’s field of vision. Joe hits another uranage for two and reapplies the Coquina Clutch. Lesnar escapes via side slam. Joe dodges a corner charge causing Lesnar’s shoulder to hit the post. But before Joe can capitalize Lesnar slides underneath and lands his fourth German. Followed by two more. Joe escapes an F-5 and tries his submission finisher again. Lesnar sinks down and appears close to fading when suddenly he powers up and lands a single F-5 for the pin to retain.

Winner and STILL WWE Universal Champion after 6:25: Brock Lesnar

You can watch the full match here.

Review: That was a nice little sprint but not much else. Joe’s pre-bell attack made for a refreshing surprise but no matter what he did at no point did it look like Joe stood a chance of winning. Lesnar was as much an institutional presence in WWE as John Cena and he wasn’t going to job to anyone who wasn’t on his level on the totem pole. Joe, for all his talents, was never positioned as such so his efforts made for an exercise in futility. Joe’s intensity, both here and in lead-up promos, didn’t translate into credible near-falls or a compelling match narrative. It wasn’t a full-fledged brawl or worked shoot exchange either. Because it was so short it felt both rushed and like it would’ve benefitted from more time but hey, we all know that wasn’t happening with Brock Lesnar on a B-level PLE.

Final Rating: **3/4

WWE Championship Match: Brock Lesnar [c] vs. The Undertaker – WWE Unforgiven 2002

The Story: In a bid to elevate Lesnar as a credible champion, Undertaker won a #1 Contender’s match which setup a big clash between a rising star and a veteran looking for respect while maintaining his yard. That could’ve been a good enough story on its own had it been given breathing room, but apparently someone decided that this feud needed shitty TV drama elements tacked on, which led to Paul Heyman bringing in some random woman to accuse “Mark” of cheating on his wife Sarah with her. Because apparently Lesnar being a freak athlete with several rockets strapped to his ass wasn’t enough of a selling point and to drum up interest they had to make people think the mythical Undertaker would be psychologically disadvantaged by these distractions in his personal life. Oh, and Matt Hardy was also along for the ride, serving as a puppet and tool for Heyman to use whenever necessary to protect his main charge.

The Match: The bell rings and Lesnar walks right up to ‘Taker’s face. ‘Taker shoves him back and acts a bit nervous as ‘Taker gets his fists up. Lesnar answers with power but ‘Taker shows his own strength as he shoves Lesnar backwards and out of the ring. Lesnar looses his cool which leads to a dropdown sequence into a hiptoss by ‘Taker. ‘Taker shitcans Lesnar but Lesnar retaliates with a hammerlock. They trade armlocks and counter strikes until ‘Taker answers with a flying clothesline for two. ‘Taker lands Old School and then boots Paul Heyman off the apron to stop his interference. Lesnar takes advantage with shoulder checks and a vertical suplex for two. Lesnar attacks the ribs using the ringpost, ignores ‘Taker’s retaliatory punches, and hits a counter powerslam for a near-fall. Lesnar works a long grounded bearhug spot until ‘Taker runs into the ropes and his momentum sends Lesnar to the floor. ‘Taker lands more punches but Heyman distracts the ref so that Lesnar can use the title as a weapon which busts ‘Taker open. But this serves to fire ‘Taker up as he lands more strikes and big running corner clotheslines. Lesnar blocks a Chokeslam but runs into a big boot. ‘Taker’s Snake Eyes/running boot combo gets another two-count. A sudden Irish whip reversal sees ‘Taker send Lesnar into a corner and crush the referee. ‘Taker follows with a Chokeslam which gets a visual three-count. Suddenly Matt Hardy comes out to attack ‘Taker but he immediately eats a Last Ride. Lesnar capitalizes on that with a spinebuster for two. ‘Taker hits back with a counter running DDT for two of his own. Lesnar escapes a Tombstone attempt and shoves ‘Taker into the ref. He clotheslines ‘Taker and attemtps a chair-shot but ‘Taker boots him down. ‘Taker cracks Lesnar’s head with the chair and hits a boot/leg drop combo for two. Lesnar escapes a Last Ride. ‘Taker escapes an F-5. Both wrestlers start throwing haymakers. The ref tries getting them out of a corner but Lesnar angrily tells him off. A punch from ‘Taker sends Lesnar colliding with the ref again causing him to flail his arms to call for the bell.

Match result: No Contest after 20:25 (Brock Lesnar remains WWE Champion)

You can watch the full match here.

Review: This was on its way to being a solid, old school monster brawl (big bodies clashing dramatically, Giant Baba would be proud) until the finish. I get that they needed some way to extend this feud without anyone losing clean but they picked the worst possible option: the ref throws out the match due to too much ass kicking. It’s such a cheap and frustrating finish; what, couldn’t they do a double count-out or a referee stoppage due to double submissions or something like that? Bad finish aside, the match itself was simple but solid with both guys hitting hard and sticking to their signature techniques. The story was that Lesnar was perpetually frustrated with his inability to do much damage on his own so he resorted to cheating to get ahead, though Lesnar being underhanded like Triple H or Ric Flair feels woefully out of place for him. Had they just kept wrestling until neither man could answer a ten-count or just kept brawling up the ramp for the intended stage spot to a count-out, that would’ve been better. As it stands, this is another case of 2002’s WWE being filled with matches ruined by shitty conclusions.

Final Rating: ***1/4

Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio – SmackDown, December 9, 2003

The Story: This took place in Mysterio’s hometown of San Diego with his family watching from ringside. Lesnar was so unbothered by the size disparity between them that he promised Mysterio a world title shot if he somehow managed to beat him.

The Match: The bell rings and Lesnar’s laughing at the situation. Lesnar mocks and toys with Mysterio, not even breaking a sweat during their opening interactions, and then throws him by one leg. Mysterio quickly switches to using his legs and attacks Lesnar’s knee. Then they play cat-and-mouse and Mysterio outruns him which gets a loud pop from the crowd. Lesnar teases using the steps as a weapon but Mysterio dropkicks them into him. Mysterio frantically swings his arms at Lesnar but Lesnar drives him into a ringpost. Lesnar chokes Mysterio against one set of ropes but Mysterio pulls another set down to send Lesnar to the floor. Lesnar catches Mysterio on a dive and prepares a powerbomb but Mysterio sunset flips him into the barricade. A headscissor sends Lesnar into a post face-first and Mysterio follows with a springboard crossbody to the floor. We come back from commercial with Mysterio attempting a dive but he gets caught in repeated backbreakers. Lesnar distracts the referee to hit a low blow and starts working Mysterio over on the mat. He throws Mysterio around some more but Mysterio counters with an attack against the ropes and a 619 around the ringpost. Mysterio follows with a springboard leg drop for two. Mysterio follows with dropkicks and a headscissor takedown. A follow-up Frankensteiner gets two. He goes for the West Coast Pop but Lesnar powerbombs him and traps him in the Brock Lock to get the submission victory.

Winner after 14:45: Brock Lesnar

You can watch the full match here.

Review: This was way better than it had any right to be. It was the dictionary definition of David vs. Goliath but with the monster winning in the end. Mysterio stood little chance of winning at first and everyone knew it, especially Lesnar. His overconfidence cost him almost immediately as Mysterio started outfoxing him with his quickness advantage. He landed some outstanding counters and used Lesnar’s power against him whenever he could. Every hit he landed was treated like a big deal and Lesnar sold them without looking weak. Mysterio capitalized on each successful hit to increase the likelihood that he’d make the impossible happen in front of his hometown crowd. But no matter how quick he was, no matter how incredible his techniques were, and no matter how much the crowd was thoroughly invested in Mysterio’s Cinderella Story, it wasn’t meant to be as Lesnar was just too powerful and vicious. He spent the whole match frustrated over Mysterio’s slipperiness so when he caught him he made sure to make an emphatic statement with the Brock Lock. This is a hidden gem of a match that took place during SmackDown’s halcyon days and serves as another remainder why so many people remain nostalgic over what was put on free TV back in the day.

Final Rating: ****

As always, thanks for reading.