Dream Matches

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week has a bizarre assortment of stuff, including a match featuring KAMALA of all people in World of Sport! As “The Mississippi Mauler” Big Jim Harris, he comes to the UK to fight their Hulk Hogan, BIG DADDY, in a match during a bit charity event!

But importantly, as Bill Dundee passed away recently (the same day as we lost The Butcher), I decided to go and find one of the matches people always talk about, and it’s a doozie- a Loser Leaves Town match where if Jerry “The King” Lawler wins, Bill Dundee AND HIS WIFE must shave their heads! But before the match, Lawler has his eye affected by a vial of chemicals thrown by Dutch Mantell, leading to Jerry fighting blind and Dundee cleverly using that to his advantage all match long! Then I look up some stuff featuring The Butcher and the Blade- an AEW Dark squash against Pineapple Pete and Anthony Catena! Also, a match from WWE Evolve got recommended to me, so I’m going to check out Charlie Dempsey (son of William Regal) vs. Ulka Sasaki!

Finally, it’s a trifecta for PWI 500 guys, as “Inferno” Johnny Adams, Kevin Bennett & Gabreal Saint all face each other in an indieriffic LADDER MATCH that shows all of the pratfalls of modern indie wrestling!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have a weirdo headliner that surprised me- heel Richard Morton & rookie “Diamond” Dallas Page take on Ron Simmons & The Junk Yard Dog in 1992 WCW! Then I take a look at the ROCKERS REUNION from 2005 RAW, as Marty Jannetty’s last bit of relevancy is used for a nostalgia pop as he & Shawn Michaels team up to face La Resistance!

Then come and see a messy early WCW lucha match from SuperBrawl VII in early 1997 as Konnan, La Parka & Villano IV face Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo & Ciclope! It gives the fans some really great examples of huge bumps and insanity before going totally off the rails! I also found an odd squash match from 1981 WWWF, with new team Mr. Fuji & Mr. Saito taking on jobbers SD Jones and a young Curt Hennig! Then it’s more of WHO, as Jim Neidhart’s masked gimmick goes up against Jake “The Snake” Roberts! Then our PWI 500 guy of the week is 20-year indie veteran KTB (Kyle The Beast), and he faces GCW friend Jungle Boy on AEW Dark!

“DIAMOND” DALLAS PAGE & RICHARD MORTON vs. RON SIMMONS & THE JUNK YARD DOG:
(WCW Saturday Night, 05/02/1992)
* AMAZING. A random grab-bag tag team match with one great worker out of four and it’s past his prime Ricky Morton AS A HEEL, teaming with green-as-grass new heel DDP against fairly unsteady but carryable powerhouse Ron Simmons and JYD, who is maybe the most washed-up wrestler ever pushed in the big two. DDP’s in his best ’80s animal print neon purple singlet with round sunglasses with jangles hanging off of them, fully-swaggering his head and bellowing in his Joisey accent- it brings to mind Abdullah the Butcher’s point to Mick Foley about how he was going to succeed despite all that was going against him- “He lives the gimmick”. Morton has his usual bleach-blonde mullet, but the frown of a heel and awful black & white tights. Ron’s in blue tights & JYD’s in red tights and is decidedly chunky.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have an all-timer of a headliner: Shinya Hashimoto vs. KEVIN NASH! And it’s Kevin Nash as OZ, the Great and Terrible! A grey-haired wizard with a close relationship with his local pharmacist! Nash did a short New Japan run! Come see how Hashimoto handles a very green, humongous opponent. Then I found a terrific one, as TULLY BLANCHARD heads to Japan in 1995 to take on Tatsumi Fujinami of all people! Watch how quickly the Japanese fans “get” that asshole prick as he fights dirty (but not against the rules) against the Japanese legend!

Then it’s another Jean-Pierre LaFitte match, as he takes on Man Mountain Rock, who never otherwise got to face “name” guys on TV in his 10-month (!!) WWF run! Then it’s Jim Neidhart as WHO, as he faces new babyface “Wildman” Marc Mero! Then this week’s PWI 500 guy, Slim Trimmons, a chubby guy doing an ironic fitness gimmick, as he faces Brutus Dylan in a pair of matches in a podunk indie in 2019!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have stuff from all over (mostly New Japan), but it’s some great rarities! First off, it’s ROLLERBALL ROCCO as Black Tiger in New Japan, as he does one of his final matches in the gimmick, taking on a young Jushin Liger in *1989* for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title! Next up is a weapons-heavy brawl in ECW as New Jack gets his one and only shot against the ECW World Title, taking on champion Mike Awesome in a match where New Jack clearly doesn’t wanna take any of Mike’s signature stuff, haha. Then it’s back to New Japan for a WWF Title defense, as Bob Backlund defends against DUSTY RHODES in 1984!

Then it’s a rare JEAN-PIERRE LAFITTE match, as PCO’s pirate gimmick that only lasted a few months sees him in his only star vs. star match that wasn’t against Bret Hart, facing Adam Bomb on WWF TV! And finally, our PWI 500 guy of the week is Foxx Vinyer, now an occasional AEW jobber, as he takes on Jimmy Limits in some theatre show!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one is a match I’ve been meaning to get to since it was uploaded to the WCW YouTube channel, but I wanted to do the whole show and just never had the time until now- it’s Clash of the Champions IV: Season’s Beatings– headlined by Ric Flair & Barry Windham against the babyface Midnight Express! Plus Dusty Rhodes vs. Road Warrior Animal! Main event in any arena in the country as Ivan Koloff takes on Paul Jones, but with one hand tied behind his back! “Dr. Death” Steve Williams has an astonishingly long match against The Italian Stallion! And Ron Simmons & Eddie Gilbert take on The Fantastics for the vacant US Tag Team Titles!

And then some hideous garbage as my PWI 500 watchthrough leads to AK Willis, a barely-trained guy taking on even worse wrestlers! In TWO MATCHES because I wanted to give him a second chance! So watch him against Jason Andrews, then Dragonfly Kai! I dare you!

CLASH OF CHAMPIONS IV: SEASON’S BEATINGS:
(NWA, Dec. 7th 1988)
* I’ve been meaning to get to the Main Event for a WHILE- like a year or so at least- but just never got around to it, I think because the whole show kinda needs a look-over. I’m no NWA expert (my intro to non-WWF wrestling was some Power Hour stuff with Van Hammer, lol) but most of these are pretty big matches.

US TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT FINAL:
RON SIMMONS & “HOT STUFF” EDDIE GILBERT vs. THE FANTASTICS (Bobby Fulton & Tommy Rogers):
* Crockett’s territory at one point had such a hot tag title scene they had TWO tag belts! The Fantastics are a good second-tier babyface tag team- undersized by good workers. They’re in matching plain blue trunks & boots, Ron’s in pastel blue & Eddie’s in long white tights.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a total smorgasbord of weird squashes! First off is the “shoot interview backtalk” drama of Ernest “The Cat” Miller vs. Scott Norton! In which Norton barely sells a thing for a six-minute squash against a somewhat naive Miller and leads to internet drama years later. Next up is a LONG match between the Nasty Boys and Jim Powers/Jim Bruznell in 1992 WWF! This is one of those “hypercompetitive Prime Time matches” where jobbers got theme music and entrances! Then wonder aloud whether the Big Two would EVER actually give a jobber a “W” as Sean Waltman heads to the WWF the next year wearing his “Lightning Kid” gear but going under a series of different names in one-sided matches against Doink the Clown, Mr. Hughes and Razor Ramon on WWF RAW!

The Aussie jobber Ozzie Rulz last week made me want to check out his WCW stuff, and so his team with Kory Williams faces first the new duo of Tank Abott & Rick Steiner in a squash, then takes on Allan Funk & “Above Average” Mike Sanders on WCW Worldwide shows! And finally, our PWI 500 guy of the week is THE CODFATHER- Canadian wrestler Billy Flynn doing a “Newfoundland fisherman” gimmick! Watch him take on old-time wrestler Buddy Lane in Nova Scotia!

SCOTT NORTON vs. ERNEST “THE CAT” MILLER (w/ Sonny Onoo):
(WCW Monday Nitro, Feb. 1st 1999)
* A somewhat infamous one thanks to some online shoots about it. Miller declares it a “rib”- unbeknownst to him, Norton being given instructions on not to sell for him at all. Granted, he’s a comedy jobber while Norton was expected to be kept credible in perpetuity because New Japan used him as a top foreigner, so that’s obvious. Miller was also an obnoxious prick character (something he was good enough at that it got him into WWE despite no wrestling ability at all!) and Norton was a tough guy so this being one-sided is really how it should go anyways. The angle here is that Miller is being a twerp and calling out the locker room demanding a match like he can “whup anybody”, and the nWo watches in the back and lies to Scott Norton in the john or whatever that “Hey! NORTON! NORTON! The Cat just called you out!” to amuse themselves, drawing grumpy, roided-up Norton to snarl as he heads out to beat some ass while the nWo do their classic “frat boy belly laugh” like children. Miller, to be fair, says he can beat ANYBODY and while first seemingly blowing off Norton, admits he’s tough but he’s gonna get a whuppin’, too. Norton, in blue jeans and an nWo wifebeater shirt, is doing the “squint with one eye while hanging his mouth open” thing, which is a classic biker “I’m craaaaaazzzzy tough!” intimidation tactic.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a sequel to last week’s big matches, which I saved until now because I totally didn’t realize the WWE Vault had uploaded it too to build anticipation because I’m an advertising genius! It’s Macho Man Randy Savage & Adorable Adrian Adonis vs. Tito Santana and BRUNO SAMMARTINO, in a Steel Cage in Madison Square Garden! The babyfaces finally have those dastardly heels where they want them!

Next up, it’s a “WTF?” classic as Jumbo Tsuruta, top star of All Japan Pro Wrestling, faces Nikolai Volkoff in 1983! Then it’s Jerry “The King” Lawler versus TAGAR, Lord of the Volcano, as a masked heel immune to Jerry’s legendary punches arrives in 1991 USWA to punish him! Then Scott Norton faces Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart in 1998 WCW! And finally, our PWI 500 guys of the week are Ashley Hudson as “Ozzie Rulz” in one of those fly-by-night short-lived companies against Majik- a scrawny white guy! Then Majik faces Chris Wyld in a UK indie!

STEEL CAGE MATCH:
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE & ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (w/ Miss Elizabeth & Jimmy Hart) vs. TITO SANTANA & BRUNO SAMMARTINO:
(WWF at MSG, July 12th 1986)
* And the culmination of the match we covered last week- the heels won via count-out after eating a massive beating for like 10 straight minutes and then scoring a last-minute comeback. Because of that grievous injustice, we’re doing the most brutal match in the company- Steel Cage! No count-outs, and no sissy NWA things like “pinfalls” or “submissions”- ESCAPE RULES! You have to beat your opponent to death and then leave of your own accord. Given Savage’s favorite move was to hide behind Elizabeth and taunt his opponent, this is gonna be a rough night for him. Both guys have to leave to win.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! The WWE Vault just opened up a TON of amazing stuff from the MSG Network, and I just had to check out “Macho Man” Randy Savage & Adrian Adonis vs. Tito Santana & BRUNO SAMMARTINO! And the prelude is a Savage/Santana match with Bruno as Special Guest Referee! Bruno’s “Legend” run in the middle of the Hogan Era is always interesting to me. This is actually before the Savage/Bruno feud that set off later in the year, too. Then it’s a $50,000 MSG Battle Royal featuring all the teams of 1986 WWF- Islanders! Studd & Bundy! Volkoff & Sheik! ROTUNDA & SD JONES!! also the Harts, Rougeaus, Bulldogs, Machines, Dream Team and even a Strongbow/Gatorwolf team of all things. Tremendous fun.

Then it’s a lucha match, as those quartets that actually made WWF RAW in 1997 have a bout in their native Mexico- the Power Ranger-styled Los Cadetes el Espacio (Venum, Super Nova, Discovery & Ludxor) take on the heel Los Galacticos (Mosco, Abismo Negro, Maniaco & Histeria)! And finally, our PWI 500 guy of the week is N8 Mattson, who has a long, drawn-out indie match with the ex-TNA wrestler Petey Williams in front of thirty people!

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE BRUNO SAMMARTINO:
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. TITO SANTANA:
(May 19th, 1986)
* Starting off is why Bruno’s involved- he’s here to ensure the rules be followed as Savage, a renowned cheater and dirty-fighter, has another title defense against the ex-champion Tito. The two had been feuding for MONTHS before this and continued for months after, Savage earning a lot of DQ and Count-Out losses but always retaining as the two carried the feud for like six months. Randy, “the not-so Macho Man” per Monsoon, keeps provoking Tito and then immediately pulling Elizabeth in front of him to play mind games before the match. He’s in red & yellow; Tito’s in blue & black.

Immediately the stakes are made clear- Savage & Santana grapple to the corner and Bruno demands a break, causing Macho to SNAP and kick at the ropes and stick a finger in the Living Legend’s face- RULES? This shall not stand! But Bruno refuses to back down. Tito does a quick go-behind, but Savage instead insults someone in the front row until Tito musses up his hair, then SPITS on Tito and immediately bails to the floor so that “Latin Temper” has nowhere to lash out. Haha what a dick. Hey some balding fan is decked out EXACTLY like Hulk Hogan there. Savage goes up to do his finger-point taunt, then stalls again, then pushes a chair into the ring, only for Bruno to shove it right out and even that gets a pop- the old man is over. A fan tosses in some garbage and Macho annoys Bruno by DEMANDING he remove it before finally getting back to wrestling. And he bails as soon as Tito counters his go-behind, then shoves Elizabeth in front of him and is sure to get back in the ring first to threaten Tito upon entrance. Bruno has to push him back, and then he whines about kneepads or some shit and the fans are into it even though Savage is stalling like a motherfucker here. He’s done so little physical work but he’s doing WORK, ya know?

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have one of the infamous “Worst matches ever put on TV” as a botchy, untrained David Flair is given an inexplicable TV push, and poor El Dandy is the good worker expected to get something out of him! This is less than two minutes long yet is completely disastrous, which shows you how important even a modicum of training is. Next up, it’s a fascinating mismatch I found out about from Logan Sisco’s great “What The World Was Watching” column- Goldust vs. Hakushi from a 1996 WWF Superstars! Then 1995 WWF gives us a FAT MAN STAND-OFF, as King Kong Bundy faces Mabel in a “two-man Royal Rumble” with no rules and top-rope eliminations being the only ones counted!

Next up it’s a throwaway WCW Luchadore match with a newly unmasked Psychosis joining Juventud Guerrera & La Parka against Silver King & Los Villanos on a 1999 Nitro! Then more of “Cyanide” Sid Cooper in World of Sport as he faces Pete Ross in 1982 England! And finally, our “PWI 500” guy of the week is “Supreme” Lee Great as he faces first Johnny Stamboli in that semi-successful WWE-knockoff in Italy in 2005, and then Smooth Johnny Suede in some goofy indie show!

DAVID FLAIR (w/ Torrie Wilson, Ric Flair & Arn Anderson) vs. EL DANDY:
(WCW Nitro, May 24th 1999)
* So by mid-1999, WCW had been getting their asses handed to them by the WWF for more than a year, and things were only getting worse. The answer- random booking that never went anywhere! Hence David Flair being seduced by Torrie Wilson in an angle that lasted so long, WWF called Terri Power “Tori” on her debut before WCW could use their new star’s name. And now the flabby, weak-looking son of Ric Flair was going to be trained as a wrestler! Various problems abound: David is one of the all-time worst-looking wrestlers in history, making the Young Bucks look like Sid or the Warlord. He’s also uninterested in wrestling, and almost completely untrained. At least on paper, they have the best possible opponent for him: El Dandy is a very good worker, but A) is maybe the lowest-ranked wrestler in the entire company, and B) looks like total shit. A short, dumpy-looking guy, he’s jobbed up and down the card for AGES and has zero credibility. This combination of traits makes him way better than a Power Plant goober, who’d be on a similar level but would A) be jacked and roided, too much to have it not be weird that David could win, and B) be way too shitty a worker to carry a green rookie. And so poor Eld Dandy has to come out here and try to make DAVID FLAIR look like he knows what he’s doing.

Naturally, David comes out shirtless, revealing his nothin’-to-write-home-about, flabby physique with a muffin top poking out over his dark jeans, formless arms, and permanent rouge on his face. Possibly the all-time worst-looking wrestler ever. His only advantage here is that dumpy ol’ Dandy is almost a head shorter.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, the assortment is even stranger than normal, starting off once more with the Fabulous Freebirds in All Japan, as Terry Gordy & Michael Hayes take on the Ace tag team of Giant Baba & Jumbo Tsuruta! Come see just how big a styles clash Hayes’s stuff is in a more serious, Japanese promotion! Next up, a true rarity sees Jon Moxley and the future LA Knight as WWF JOBBERS, as the hapless duo get crushed by the Big Show on Sunday Night Heat in 2006! After that, another rarity has KEIJI MUTOH vs. JIM NEIDHART, and not in WCW like I’d expect but in Germany’s CWA promotion, with “ten counts every time you fall down” rules… for sixteen minutes! God help us- a 16-minute Jim Neidhart match.

Following that, WCW jobbery glory has Kenny Kaos face Steve Armstrong on WCW Worldwide in 1998! Then I found ex-TNA wrestler Mike Santana in Create A Pro Wrestling as he faces local star VSK in front of 55 people and indeed actually looks pretty good! And then looking through the PWI 500 I found Ralph Mosca, who turns out to be a “WWF Jobber Turned Indie Ace” type of dude- first he’s squashed by Diesel in Kevin Nash’s WWF singles debut, then gets showcased in ACW against Joshua Masters! Come see how differently a guy wrestles as a jobber vs. a top act in an indie!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a great showcase of how good Jerry Lawler was in his prime, as he faces AWA Champion Nick Bockwinkel in a match for the belt, in his native Memphis! Then I found a great All Japan TV show episode, featuring Toshiaki Kawada & Shinichi Nakano vs. Tsuyoshi Kikuchi & Samson Fuyuki, Terry Gordy vs. DAVEY BOY SMITH, and another one of those amazing AJPW Six-Mans featuring the Aces fighting, as Jumbo Tsuruta, Masanobu Fuchi & The Great Kabuki take on Mitsuharu Misawa, Akira Taue & Kenta Kobashi! The week after Misawa finally removes the Tiger Mask look and goes under his real name once more! And finally, more World of Sport with “Cyanide” Sid Cooper doing his heel antics on former S.A.S. soldier and newcomer Jack Regan! And finally, this week’s PWI 500 Guy match sees Landon Riley upload the worst showcase for himself possible as he takes on XERO in Glasgow’s independent scene!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! And this time, I have a match I missed the first go-around, with Bret Hart fighting The Patriot on WWF RAW in 1997! With Shawn Michaels on commentary to set up SummerSlam! Then it’s an interesting one from Owen Hart’s 5-year run in New Japan Pro Wrestling as he faces a fresh-faced young Keiji Mutoh! Then more of John Nord in All Japan, as he faces Stan Hansen himself in 1994!

After that, it’s a look at 1992 WCW, with Mr. Hughes facing the neon Spider-Man ripoff ARACHNAMAN! And that leads directly to a tag match the next week where Mr. Hughes & Cactus Jack face Arachnaman and VAN HAMMER! Truly the full splendor of 1992 WCW Pro on display! And finally, our look at PWI 500 guys leads me to CHIKARA and their “Colony” stable, as I found Worker Ant vs. Soldier Ant in Cardiff, Wales!

BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. THE PATRIOT:
(WWF RAW, July 28th 1997)
* This match stems from Bret’s great heel run in the WWF, where he began to speak Truth To Power, saying entirely correct things about America. And nothing infuriates American fans more than the TRUTH, so this gave Bret incredible heat. This particularly enraged The Patriot, who built his entire persona around the worship of American Lies. And so he briefly entered the WWF as a mini-feud for Bret while the Steve Austin feud temporarily transferred to Owen Hart- a weird outlier to the increasingly “Attitude”-style era where everyone was playing more gritty, down-to-earth characters (hence Patriot always being called by his real name on commentary like he was an otherwise normal guy). Bret is one week away from winning the WWF Title against The Undertaker at SummerSlam, with Shawn Michaels acting as Guest Referee (with a rule enforcing him playing it down the middle and not showing bias). Shawn’s doing commentary here. Also a fun fact: this match is from one of the only two WWF RAWs I missed during a run from about 1995-2005. I had wanted to record them while I did a school trip in Japan that summer, but for whatever reason it didn’t happen. And I remember this because I NEVER missed RAW, lol. We’re in the city where Bret famously said that “If I were to give the United States an enema, I would stick the tube RIGHT HERE in Pittsburgh!”, which might explain the somewhat biased crowd reaction here.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I found TWO completely wild All Japan “grab bag of weirdo acts” matches, both of which floored me when I saw the lineups. First off, it’s a 6-man with the All Japan Hero Squad, Mitsuharu Misawa, Kenta Kobashi & young Jun Akiyama… against Stan Hansen, JOHN NORD and Rob Van Dam! RVD and the Berzerker, together at last! Then it’s a 1980s tag match with Harley Race and Crusher Blackwell teaming up against Tiger Jeet Singh and the One Man Gang of all people. Yes, even Giant Baba understood the purpose of a good FAT MAN STAND-OFF, as the whole first half of the match is Gang & Blackwell testing each other’s obesity!

Then it’s two 1994 WWF appearances by Gangrel, as the then-“Vampire Warrior” hit his fanged face under a black mask as The Black Phantom, doing TV jobs against a lot of big guys- I have him here against Typhoon and Mabel in separate matches! Then our PWI 500 Guy of the week is CHEESEBURGER, as the sometime AEW wrestler who never quite made it out of the indies gets a shot at Lee Moriarty’s Ring of Honor Pure Title in some podunk indie show from just a month and a half ago!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have stuff from all over the world once more, starting with a FAT MAN STAND-OFF from WWF RAW in 1994- Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel! In one of Luna Vachon’s last appearances from this year! After that, a request to check out World of Sport dickhead heel “Cyanide” Sid Cooper leads me to a TIGER MASK appearance, as young Sammy Lee is decked out like Bruce Lee and makes Cooper look like an absolute boob for three rounds of fast-paced action! Then it’s over to All Japan as Toshiaki Kawada of the new generation up & comers takes on established veteran shit-disturber Masanobu Fuchi! WCW jobbery goodness as Power Plant washout Mike Tolbert takes on UK wrestler Doc Dean on WCW Worldwide in 1998! And finally, this week’s PWI 500 guy is Torch/El Antorcha, a Canadian guy decked out as a luchador, here facing his trainer “Gorgeous” Michelle Starr (a man in an Adrian Street gimmick) in Extreme CANADIAN Championship Wrestling!

MABEL (w/ Oscar) vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW (w/ Luna Vachon):
(WWF RAW, June 27th 1994)
* YESSSSSSSSS- it’s everyone’s favorite match- a FAT MAN STAND-OFF! Mo is absent due to injury, giving us the first Mabel solo run, where he’s largely treated like a midcarder and jobs a lot, which doesn’t help the company AT ALL when they try a Monster Heel run a year later. Bam Bam is getting a semi-decent push but never gets to pick up big wins either. Mabel’s in the “almost all purple” version of his gear that invited so many Barney comparisons, but I liked it way more than the overly-gold stuff as a kid.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a match I’ve wanted to see for YEARS- the infamous Antonio Inoki/Masa Saito ISLAND DEATHMATCH, where they fight on an island in between two of Japan’s major islands in a bloody war that lasts over an hour! FINALLY I get to see the entire thing! And OMG you gotta see… part of it.

After that, it’s a look at WCW in early 1992, as first we get a Wacky Mishmash Six-Man with Big Van Vader, Cactus Jack & The Taylor Made Man facing “Heavy Metal” Van Hammer, Ron Simmons & El Gigante! And then Johnny B. Badd takes his bizarre Little Richard act against fellow babyface Firebreaker Chip! And finally it’s our PWI 500 feature of the week, as I find Austin Steele, a guy doing a riff on Ric Flair’s act (despite Flair being very active in the 1990s), doing an indie match against Krazy Kane Atoms, then a squash match where he takes on Mabel in 1994 WWF!

ISLAND DEATHMATCH:
ANTONIO INOKI vs. MASA SAITO:
(New Japan, Oct. 4th 1987)
* This match has long fascinated me for the sheer over-the-top carney brilliance of it, but I’d never seen it. Manjiimmortal showed me that someone uploaded a FULL VIDEO to Archive.org, though, meaning I can finally watch this in its full two-hour glory! The idea here is that Inoki, legendary hero and Ace of his own promotion, is taking on the Olympian powerhouse Masa Saito, and only an ISLAND DEATHMATCH will do. I’ve long felt that the ultimate final form of any wrestling feud should be “I want you dead, but murder is illegal so let’s do a match where everything I do can be nice and legal”, but this elevates it to a form even beyond that: “I Hate You SO MUCH That I’m Willing To Risk or Shorten My Own Life In Order to Cause You Harm”. I mean, just the idea is so incredibly “Martial Arts Movie” or “Comic Book Supervillain”- “They only way we can end this is to fight a DEATHMATCH on the FORBIDDEN ISLAND!”. This is, ON PAPER, the greatest idea in the world. So time to see the actual execution!

The dramatic establishing shots, sadly making this look less like forbidden wilderness and more like “just some mundane island with some trees”. It was chosen because it was the site of a famous battle between samurai Kojiro Sasaki and Musashi Miyamoto in 1612.

Wrestling has done the occasional “Empty Arena Match” or things like that- the famous SuperBowl Halftime match between Mankind & The Rock, the Boiler Room Brawl, the Memphis one with Lawler, AEW’s Stadium Stampedes, etc. It’s an epic idea- a match so ruthless and outlawed and personal that it’s just two guys fighting and nobody else around them but a guy to count falls. The reason it’s so rare is kinda obvious- wrestling promotions wanna MAKE MONEY and that means selling tickets- hard to do that when the audience is zero. So with stuff like this it’s more about drawing ratings, selling recordings of the match, etc. Sadly the build for this one looks pretty mundane- when I heard “ISLAND DEATHMATCH”, I was thinking some forbidden isle in the wilderness with trained guides using lost maps and no civilization for miles, but this is a pretty plain island with normal Japanese domestic buildings in the background, and they go by speedboat and there’s a bunch of guys with dorky white “we’re BOATING” safety hats about. Ganryujima Island is actually just a small island between Honshu & Kyushu (two of the major islands that make up Japan itself) and few trees, not some wilderness (Japan is surprisingly wild, with 13 people killed in bear attacks in *2025 alone*, including All Japan Women’s Pro Wrestling referee Katsumi Sasazaki).

30 minutes in and they’re still doing fuckery on this tape, with endless flyovers and shots of spectators sitting next to flags. A white ring is set up far away from everyone, with neckless beast Saito wearing long tights and having compression stuff around his left arm. STEALTH INOKI is finally seen crouching in some short bushes with a big-ass boat seen behind him, and the two enter the ring LIKE GENTLEMEN.

This starts out very “early UFC”, in that they circle doing jack shit because they’re afraid to over-commit and get caught. Saito finally ankle-picks Inoki and sticks the ankle under his armpit, Inoki turtling up. So he’s like my little brother or cousins when we play-wrestled. Well it’s effective- hard to put holds on a guy who skooshes up like that. Inoki does an ugly roll-out and stalls, then manages to get Saito’s back, drawing first blood by pressing his forearm into the nose as he fishes for holds on the mat. Saito takes the back next, holding a headlock for an eternity as they roll around. Inoki fishes for an armbreaker and they’re tied up in the ropes- at least every movement looks like they’re fighting & struggling, fishing for an advantage while being VERY careful not to leave themselves in a vulnerable position. They tease FIGHTING ON THE GRASS, but no- the fans must wait. Inoki mostly works a bodyscissors for 3 minutes and Saito looks BEAT, sore and tired after Inoki releases and taunts him. Saito fails a judo throw and can’t get anything going on wrestling- Inoki throws some shots at him until Saito finally muscles him to the ground and work the arm. Inoki slips his legs in for a jujigatame attempt before giving up. 25+ minutes gone now. Saito can’t get a proper takedown so weakly ends up on top & Inoki tries a keylock, but Saito figure-fours the legs and leans on him- Inoki has to bend an arm again. 32 minutes and they roll out and FIGHT ON THE GRASS, Inoki taking him down and working a headlock until Saito can stop over him and stretch him out.

These holds go so long it’s actually believable guys will release due to being tired and the other dude just slipping out- Saito holds Inoki in a chinlock FOREVER until they roll back into the ring from the grass and Inoki manages a backdrop suplex! Our first actual non-hold 44 minutes into the match, lol. They’re both down, but Saito holds a chinlock, countered by Inoki rolling out and sorta holding Saito’s injured arm against the ring apron’s edge. A single armbreaker against it after a minute (lol even if this match it’s 1:00 increments for holds) and they’re BACK TO CIRCLING OH MY GOD. They show the sky darkening then pan the view back to nothin’ going on- Saito finally dives in and fights for a keylock, then just grinds his forearm against Inoki’s face. For ages. But then the ring boys light some fires to give us some light, which makes the match look a million times cooler. Inoki, ever the showman, knows to immediately slide out of the ring to FIGHT BY THE FIRES and give us a better visual.

I present this last image with no added context.

Saito leans on Inoki and holds a headlock, but they stroll over to a torch and Saito’s RUN INTO IT, cinders flying and the torch smoking up the grass! Saito kinda just stares at it like “WTF man” and throws a single kick, Inoki throws one (57 minutes and we’ve escalated to strikes!), then Inoki’s silly little back kick in the ring sends Saito to the outside again. Saito sells that on the grass for a bit before heading back in- Inoki counters his forever hammerlock attempts with a headscissors, then releases to slam him. Then… just stands there not capitalizing so Saito can outwrestle him again and just holds both his arms back in another resthold. And then it’s like “ok it’s dark now time for the actual match” as Inoki immediately leverages out, dumps Saito to the grass and starts unloading with shots to his forehead, smashing him into the ring apron and headbutting him. Saito rolls over dead while Inoki stands their menacingly (ie. waiting for him to blade), then throws more headbutts, gets back in the ring like “Come on!” and throws more, just taking him to the woodshed now, leaving Saito groaning in pain as Inoki fires off punches to the cut. He waits for Saito to get up and show the blood running down his chest before slugging him again. Like, Saito’s literally stumbling around in a daze, kinda defiant and looking tough before falling to one knee, making it look like Inoki just wants him DEAD and is stalking his prey.

They roll to the grass while Saito just walks around all stiffly… but OH NO HE’S GOT A STICK. He grabs one of the slabs of firewood and swings it to send Inoki rolling across the grass. Saito stalks him (ie. rests for 30 seconds between strikes) before shoving him with a boot, then smashes him in the head with the firewood. Inoki lies there a while and then goes into the post, eats two headbutts, and then tries to throw him into the torch, but BAM! Inoki grabs two sticks to smash it and send cinders everywhere, causing Saito to disengage. Inoki then collapses and they slug it out by the ring so they can lean against it and wipe blood all over the white ring apron (CLEVER!), leading to both guys half-dead.

THERE’s our money shot! A huge explosion of cinders in the dark. 

Wrestling 101: If you’re gonna bleed, make sure something nice and white is nearby to wipe it.

Inoki gets a vertical suplex and rolls out, leaving a bloody Saito to Scream Defiantly in the ring, egging him on while Inoki gives us the “Superstar Shot” of him staring forward with blood all over his face and upper body. Saito can barely stand, rolling out to meet Inoki and slowly throw overhand punches that Inoki can’t answer. Back in- backdrop suplex! Both are down for ages, but Saito STILL HAS THAT FIREWOOD, and he blasts Inoki in the head with it and adds another backdrop! Exhausted, he tries to finish with a lariat, but Inoki ducks him! Then hits a dropkick and bails. Back in, Saito hits a punch and headbutt, but both fall to their asses and Saito takes a stroll… Inoki sneaking behind him with a Sleeperhold! After a minute’s struggle, Saito collapses to the ground in a deceased manner, and so Inoki triumphantly stumbles off, making sure to dramatically collapse in the dirt several times on-camera in order to sell the accumulated damage and pain (1:22:28). An arbiter or someone checks on Saito’s corpse, and he’s indeed down for several minutes before he finally rolls over, revealing a full crimson mask. The announcer’s hushed, whispered tones really sell the drama, lol. Saito is loaded onto a stretcher and taken into a tent where they check his heart for signs of life, marking Inoki as the ultimate victor. We end things with a happy Inoki in a blue jumpsuit doing an interview, long after the match is over.

Haha, what even is this match? How does one judge this? SIXTY-THREE MINUTES of restholds and circling like Shamrock/Severn and it goes absolutely fucking nowhere, then they go “K, it’s dark enough, time to do the actual match” and they suddenly start trying, throwing hands and cutting each other up. That part of the match was GREAT, as they use the exhaustion from the other stuff to justify “hitting one shot, then falling over or standing there waiting for the other guy to get up”, making it look like methodical punishment. Saito is the first to use a weapon, showing how desperate he is once Inoki started beating his ass, while Inoki only used one out of CLEVERNESS, stopping a torch-shot with it and making Saito disengage. Or because he wimped out of going into the torch and still wanted a cool “exploding torch” visual, lol. Then they have this exhausted beatdown and smear their blood all over the white ring apron to create another great visual. So the match is like a total DUD with a **** brawl stuck on at the end of it, with tons of great visuals, defiance and anger.

The sheer difference between the “waiting for darkness” and “okay time for the real match” is hilarious because it’s so stark. It finally gets dark enough to get the visuals they want and BOOM- off to the races with good visuals, weapon shots, and more. It really makes you notice how obvious the “restholds” are when it barely even works up a sweat for them even though they’ve gone longer than an NWA Title Match by this point. And yes I cranked fast forward on some a’ that shit. I HAVE MY LIMITS! I checked periodically to see what kind of effort was being put in but nooooooooooppppe. Another disappointing thing is the lack of viciousness and rulebreaking considering there’s no referee. Saito shoulda been trying to shove splinters in Inoki’s eyes or found other makeshift weapons in the trees around them or something. I kept expecting a bloodbath as they fight through a forested area, but this is just some “light foliage” so again disappoints.

Rating: **1/4 (watch the “actual trying” stuff if you can, but OH MY GOD how can you give 63 minutes of restholds a good rating?)

BIG VAN VADER, CACTUS JACK & THE TAYLOR MADE MAN (w/ Harley Race) vs. EL GIGANTE, “HEAVY METAL” VAN HAMMER & RON SIMMONS:
(WCW, Jan. 14th 1992)
* WILD. One of those weird mishmash six-mans that seem nearly impossible, you have Terry Taylor floundering in WCW alongside the two top heels, then a random babyface squad of a failing giant (Gigante), a failing midcarder (Van Hammer, carrying around a guitar he can’t play), and future World Champion Ron Simmons.

Vader & Simmons start off, unable to overpower each other so Vader makes use of their collegiate football backgrounds by daring him to go to a three-point stance and they’ll have a TACKLE OFF. Ron is finally shamed into doing so, at which point Vader just pops up and starts hammering on his back, haha. Vader beats him up and throws an avalanche, but hits knees on the next one and Ron nails him with a flying shoulderblock, a running one, then a powerslam before tagging Van Hammer. He tries an armbar but Vader immediately just punches him in the face and tags in Taylor, who quickly eats a facecrusher and slam. Cactus tags himself in, but in comes Gigante to the best reaction so far, and he easily squashes Cactus in the corner and “throws” overhand chops to the back, then puts on the Giant Claw. Taylor tries to fly in, but gets caught like a baby and thrown at Jack’s feet- Taylor suggests to Cactus they charge him, but they get clotheslined like a couple of bumbling boobs. He trades Jack over to Ron, who gets distracted by Taylor and Cactus shitcans them both to the floor with his clothesline. A beating on the floors sets up Vader’s lariat & splash for two. Taylor comes in and is immediately suplexed, to it’s Cactus/Hammer- Cactus clotheslines Hammer coming off the top but gets backdrop suplexed (“Van Hammer trying to come out of the one-dimensional wrestling style that he’s been basically in as a power wrestler”), luring in Taylor and soon everyone hits the ring. This FINALLY gives us a Vader/Gigante showdown, but they just fight to the floor, distracting the ref as Hammer hits Taylor with a Slingshot Suplex and covers the illegal man, leaving him vulnerable to the dreaded Interfereing Elbow off the second rope- basically an MDK in the early ’90s still- that gets the win for Cactus at (8:23).

Sadly, this whole match seems PERFECT for a Vader/Gigante clash, so of course that didn’t really happen until the very end, despite Vader standing right there while Cactus got bounced around and couldn’t get anything going on the big man. While Vader was a good enough worker to possibly get something going with Gigante, he was probably like “lol fuck that” because the only way to make a dude this useless look good is to just bounce off him, and Vader is the company’s top Monster Heel so that’s a no-go. Instead they throw some light shots and fight to the floor to set up Cactus beating the vulnerable babyface.

Rating: ** (your everyday TV tag match- it usually kept going and was fine without being high-effort or any good)

Johnny coming out laying “kisses” on girls and a fucking old lady literally tries to slip him some cash hahahahahaa. Lady got the THIRST. Tragically they call her “Badd’s grandma” or something, marking it as a STUNT GRANNY.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but the Johnny B. Badd gimmick is just SO bizarre. First off, it’s a 1992 gimmick based on Little Richard, who peaked in *1955*, so it’s literally 35+ years out of date. Then it takes Richard’s somewhat effeminate mannerisms and ratchets it up to near drag-queen levels with lipstick and rouge. But he’s a BABYFACE pro wrestler in a very homophobic time. Also he’s clearly named after Johnny B. Goode, a song by CHUCK BERRY, not Little Richard, and Berry had none of Richard’s flamboyance. Also he’s wearing very “1990s” gear with the sparkles and details on his gear. Oh, and HE’S NOT EVEN BLACK, but a guy from a Jewish background given very dark tanning to the point of blackface (enough that some kids actually thought he WAS black). Like WHAT WAS THIS? Why did anyone think this might get over? Imagine if today someone did a gimmick where they were a glam rock star, pushed it as far as being a drag queen, but also did blackface on top of it?

JOHNNY B. BADD vs. FIREBREAKER CHIP:
(WCW, 1992 sometime?)
* Poor Chip, in a fireman-red singlet, is demoted to already being in the ring while Badd comes out full of theatrics, planting gigantic “lips” stickers on pre-teen girls while a thirsty old lady tries to shove a wad of cash at him like he’s a stripper. Oh that’s apparently a thing- women and teen girls are putting cash in his thigh garter (THIGH GARTER) of this hip young babyface, who is apparently also a stripper. He tries to fire off his confetti gun, but no dice- it won’t go off and he just shrugs. Happens to the best of us! Uh, so I hear!

Badd & Chip shake hands to establish this is babyface/babyface, then Badd hits an armdrag, hiptoss & slam. Wait, didn’t last week’s WCW match I review start with exactly those three moves in that order? Chip manages his own slam, and starts getting worked up at Badd’s mannerisms, shoving him and earning a shoulderblock. Badd threatens a punch and Jim Ross goes into a long thing about how he keeps defaulting to that when he gets aggressive, which is a good character bit (Mero’s a legit boxer), but he leapfrogs Chip and dropkicks him to the floor, where Chip brandishes a big plastic chair at him. Back in, Badd takes a GREAT bump off a back body drop, then oh NOOOOOOOOOOOO poor Chip tries a fancy Run-Up move in the corner but buggers it up and lands ass-first on the top rope and falls backwards like a dope. Badd immediately pins him with a schoolboy at (4:16). Oh man was that supposed to be a crossbody that got countered? Bad win for poor Badd, who kinda just beats a loser since Chip messes up a move as the finish.

Rating: * (match was a fine Jobber Bout of a sort, with smooth wrestling save for one giant obvious botch, but nothing really impactful happening and ending on a rollup and not a finisher)

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: AUSTIN STEELE:
Appearances: #466 in 1992, #268 in 1993, #351 in 1994, #265 in 1995, #263 in 1996

-Steele is a career jobber who did some WCW & WWF appearances, then indie stuff, and the most interesting thing is his bio is that after Flair left the WWF in 1994, Steele started doing Flair mannerisms while in squashes. He’s a bit burly and has longer bleach-blond hair, making him look Flair-like. Which is… weird. Like I get wannabes, but why pick one of THE MOST FAMOUS WRESTLERS IN THE WORLD if you’re gonna be a direct clone? Never mind one that’s still active. Steele was most active in the Pro Wrestling Federation in North Carolina… why was there a podunk indie right in Mid-Atlantic/Crockett territory in the early ’90s? Wasn’t WCW still heavily situated there? Also… “Austin Steele”? That’s a brutally generic wrestling name. Never mind there are too many Austins and Steeles in wrestling as it is. Actually the name is so generic there’s ANOTHER AUSTIN STEELE, as I can find some modern indie dork by the same name, haha. Much of his run is unlisted even on Cagematch.

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: KRAZY KANE ATOMS:
Appearances: #486 in 1999

-Kane Atoms appears to have not had much of a career- just a few scattered matches around North Carolina and Cleveland- his Cagematch profile starts at 1994 despite wrestling as of 1991. His one PWI appearance is in 1999, too. He looks like some random guy- a decent jobber look but awful gear.

AUSTIN STEELE vs. KRAZY KANE ATOMS:
(FPWF, Nov. 9th 1991)
* Atoms has a simply terrible look- dark hair with a blond portion for the mullet, with a white tank-top and blue shorts with green kneepads and white boots. He looks like a 1980s calisthenics video host, but out of shape.

Steele keeps powering out of Kane’s full nelsons (doing Flair-style “WOOO!” stuff and flexing), so dares him to try it again and gets dropkicked into the corner and rolled up- he takes a powder and gets slingshotted back into the ring, but eventually gets a back body drop and takes over with choking, elbowdrops & kneedrops (Flair-style). I think he’s choking him while doing a front facelock but it’s unclear. He takes a shitty backdrop bump and begs off, but slugs Atoms out of a leg-twist and clotheslines him, but does a headbutt and Flair Flops himself off it. Atoms hits his own clothesline and some elbow & legdrops, working the arm then monkey-flipping him into a headlock. They collide and Steele works the leg, twisting the ankle, going “WOO!” and doing the stomp in the ropes. They do a clunky, bad International, Atoms defaulting to that clothesline again, then putting everything he has into a powerslam. He doesn’t go for a cover- he’s lucky Monsoon isn’t commentating this!- then goes up with a fistdrop. Steele sells a bunch, then does the Flair Flip in the corner and goes up… then just GOES BACK DOWN so he can eat another clothesline. Someone shoulda taught Atoms another move! Atoms throws some chops and is about to whip him when he suddenly mounts him for corner punches and takes an AWFUL bump off an inverted atomic drop. Steele chokes & mount-punches him but gets DDT’d by a probably blown-up Atoms, but Atoms can’t roll him over for a pin before he recovers, working over Atoms from the floor. Steele does a slam, elbowdrop and more “filler” offense to pad this out, Atoms fires off some limp chops, and they bump over the top to brawl to a MOTHERFUCKING DOUBLE COUNT-OUT at (17:12) lmaooooo. All that time totally not half-assing watching this shitty match and that’s the finish we get.

haha, so lame. This was one dude being Dollar Tree Ric Flair, openly mimicking the offense and mannerisms of one of the top wrestlers of that era, along with another guy who could only kinda work. Then they built a 16-minute match around “first month of wrestling school” offense so it’s very jobbery in addition to that. Atoms appears to totally suck AND get blown up, forcing Steele to use Jobber-Fu to carry 17 goddamn minutes more or less by himself until Atoms can mount 1-2 moves per “comeback”.

Rating: DUD (worth watching only for the botching and subpar Flair imitation, lol)

MABEL (w/ Oscar) vs. AUSTIN STEELE:
(WWF RAW, July 18th 1994)
* YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS an Austin Steele squash vs. MABEL! From WWF RAW! Steele looks doughy and big-bellied here, yet harmless compared to his gold & purple opponent. An ad following the entrance has Bret Hart shilling IcoPro as part of the secret of a World Champion. Macho Man is EXCITED about Oscar & Mabel’s approach, high-fiving both of them and making me long for a potential Macho/Mabel tag team. The Mega Missioners? The Men of Madness?

Steele grabs a headlock as I marvel he even has his KNEEPADS set like Flair, around his upper tibias. Mabel easily launches Steele across the ring, then throws him to the corner, dancing while Steele does the clumsiest, slowest run up the corner imaginable so he comes off and Mabel just swats him outta mid-air. hahaha well he’s a jobber so his stuff looking like shit actually works and is funny, here. Mabel hits a vertical suplex and Steele writhes in agony during a test of strength, indeed howling and flopping his hair around like Flair. lmao why is Mabel now working the ARM? Fuckin’ Mabel out here doing matwork, then he DESTROYS him with an avalanche in the corner. Steele Flair Flops and Mabel shouts “Whoomp! There it is!” and finishes him with the Bossman Slam at (2:37).

Rating: * (not the worst TV squash- Mabel easily bounces the guy around and his “Shitty Flair” act is more amusing as a jobber than trying to do a real match- 3/5 on the Squash Scale)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have a really wacky one, as it turns out that Tatanka teamed up with KEN SHAMROCK way back in 1990, when both were green rookies and Shamrock wasn’t as roided and wasn’t in UFC yet! And they face THE PITBULLS! But they’re not the ECW monster team yet, but a pair of roided goobers still struggling in the low-end indies! So come see a green Tatanka team with a green “Vince Torelli” against “The Pit Bulldogs” in South Atlantic Championship Wrestling!

Next up, it’s a WWF RAW World Tag Title match, as The Quebecers defend against mystery challengers who turn out to be Men on a Mission! Then some WORLD OF SPORT greatness as some of the fastest and flashiest mat-wrestling you’ll ever see has Johnny Saint & Steve Best team up against The Barons, Ian Gilmour & Jeff Kaye) way back in 1972! And a very “1992 WCW” midcard match with The Taylor Made Man (Terry Taylor) facing The Z-Man (Tom Zenk)! Then it’s over to 1998 WCW as Super Calo faces Alex “THE PUG” Porteau on WCW Worldwide! And finally, this week’s look at the obscure PWI 500 guys has Joey Kaos take on future Impact Wrestling performer Willie Mack in a 2011 indie!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I can’t decide what’s weirder to put as a headliner- Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner have a shoot-style match that’s ACTUALLY GOOD, or the FABULOUS FREEBIRDS come to All Japan and take on the greats! yes, Terry Gordy had a big run for almost a decade in AJPW, but I didn’t realize he brought his partners with him, so come see how Michael “P.S.” Hayes deals with the likes of Jumbo Tsuruta and plucky babyface The Great Kabuki!

And more Steinery goodness sees Scott Steiner try to take the TV Title from Stunning Steve Austin in 1992 WCW! Part of the short run of The Patriot in 1997 WWF as he feuds with Bret Hart and the Hart Foundation, and gets ready for a PPV Title Match by fighting a fading Sultan (Rikishi/Fatu) on WWF RAW! Then it’s over to the Global Wrestling Federation as a very green Booker T of the “Ebony Experience” takes on the future PUG, Alex Porteau! Then Alex Shelley faces this week’s PWI 500 guy, Sonico the Caucasian “Luchaghoul”in some Pacific Northwest indie that’s already dead!

TANK ABBOTT vs. RICK STEINER:
(WCW Thunder, June 21st 2000)
* hahahaha I was laughing when I was told about this one, then the person who shared it was like “wait, this was actually good!” so I just HAD to check it out! It’s Tank Abbott in his UFC black shorts out there fighting RICK STEINER, and it’s a SHOOT STYLE match! This has disaster written all over it. Rick Steiner in 2000 WCW is one of my least favorite wrestlers ever- an unprofessional jackass who wouldn’t sell for ANYONE and just stiffed the shit out of all his opponents and made a ton of guys with potential look like garbage while sitting around as this oddly dominant midcarder. Tank was a quick wrestling washout with an 8-month WCW run to his name and that’s about it. An infamous walking WrestleCrap nomination who never learned to work. So it’s IMPOSSIBLE that this could be good! IMPOSSIBLE, I say! Tank looks like a burly homeless man with a greying beard and a gut hanging down, while Rick’s in a black “Bite me!” singlet and has a full beard.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a headliner I’ve wanted to get to for a bit: NWA Champion Ric Flair vs. AWA Champion Rick Martel! In 1984 All Japan! Ooooooooooooh I can feel it- we’re gonna get a clean pin for sure! Next up, it’s another match from “Dollar Tree Haystacks Calhoun” Solomon Grundy, as the barefoot hillbilly from Pig Knuckle, Kentucky takes on World Class Champion Al Perez in the dying days of 1988 World Class! Then it’s a representative of WCW’s “Rick Fuller Division” of giant jobbers, Rick Fuller, taking on Ice Train on 1997 WCW Pro! And finally, a look at the PWI 500 loser names, as we find MBM out of Belgium! And he’s teaming with white European Luchadore Ultimo Sombra against Close Personal Friends, Just Joe Lando & Danny Black as they do an ROH-Style Flippy Double-Team match in a random indie! Then I look at a clip of MBM vs. Joey Janela as Janela proves once again why he’s unworthy for TV!

NWA TITLE vs. AWA TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH:
RIC FLAIR (NWA) vs. RICK MARTEL (AWA):
(All Japan, Oct. 21st 1985)
* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH baby! It’s Ric Flair vs. Rick Martel! Champion vs. Champion! An NWA Title vs. AWA Title Unification match! In 1980s All Japan! Gonna be Clean Finish-amania all up in this bitch! Martel is 28 years old here with big ’80s hair and has all his chest hair at this point, and Flair is about 35, with flowing white locks and red trunks. They go face-to-face, revealing Flair is a notch bigger, while commentary says this is the first time such a thing has happened in 80 years! And a cursory Google check reveals this to be true enough that I don’t feel like researching further! That means it’s a fact!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I go absolutely all over the place, starting off with two requests. Thanks to Maffew, I got a clip of Earthquake vs. The Warlord… from Wrestle Association R in Japan! If Warlord gets three body-slams he wins! Watch as they both work pretty damn hard, since they’re in Japan. Next up is a FAT MAN STAND-OFF, as the future Yokozuna, The Great Kokina, decks out in his Samoan gear as he takes on a 400-lb. Haystacks Calhoun knock-off in Southern wrestler Solomon Grundy… in a baseball stadium in Puerto Rico!

Next up is Bret Hart’s “Fightingest Champion in WWF History” angle as he gives a title shot to VIRGIL! Can Virgil unseat the newly-crowned champion and become Heavyweight Champion of the World? READ ON! Then a Ring of Honor movespam match as the Young Bucks take on Future Shock (Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly) and the Bravado Brothers in a 3-way match! And finally, the PWI #500 of 2024, BLUE KANE (he’s like Kane, only he’s BLUE! And he has ICE POWERS!), facing Jerry Bakewell in 2023’s Lost Souls Wrestling

SUPER HEAVY WAR:
WARLORD WINS IF HE SLAMS EARTHQUAKE THRICE:
EARTHQUAKE vs. THE WARLORD:
(Wrestle Association R, 12/15/1993)
* Became Maffew is a hell of a mensch, when someone mentioned this match and I said I’d watched part of it but it’d since been lost on YouTube, he uploaded one for me! Both of these guys did a tour in Genichiro Tenryu’s promotion, which was kind of a mess (it was the “Generic Style Puro” with no real identity, mostly just having AJPW-style guys and whoever Tenryu could get from elsewhere- hence guys like this, Chris Jericho, Lance Storm, etc. Also Ultimo Dragon as probably the most notable native it produced. This is a funny one, as Warlord is combining gimmicks- he has his Powers of Pain facepaint but his “solo WWF run” gear. The rules for the match are somewhat unique- Earthquake must pin Warlord, but Warlord will win if he gets three bodyslams. The size of these two dudes is so immense that it almost diminishes both- you forget that Tenta’s a shoot 6’6″ or so because Warlord’s matching him and is BUILT.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have an incredible find- Jim Londos vs. Bronko Nagurski for the “Heavyweight Championship of the World”- in 1938! Come see how heel wrestlers worked 90 years ago! Then it’s two straight amazing “WTF?” matches from Japan- All Japan sees Abdullah the Butcher and BOTH KAMALAS team up against a native squad of Akira Taue, old man Mighty Inoue, and young bitch-boy Yoshinari Ogawa! And IT DOESN’T SUCK! They go all-out and have a good match! I swear! Then an equally weird one as Tatsumi Fujinami, Masahiro Chono and Shinya Hashimoto team up against George Takano and the SOUTHERN BOYS in 1988 New Japan! Come see Tracey Smothers get fired up against Fujinami- not something I ever thought I’d see.

Looking through American indie sleaze, I found a bizarre “Bone on a Pole” match between two guys doing silly gimmicks- it’s Hobo vs. Manimal! And finally, our PWI #500 for the week sees 2023’s entry, Andre Chase of “CHASE U”! He’s actually an NXT guy until like a week ago, so I have an NXT match where he faces Ridge Holland in 2024! Then I look back at his Pro Wrestling NOAH run as “Harlem Bravado”, as he faces Ricky Marvin!

THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD:
BRONKO NAGURSKI vs. “THE GOLDEN GREEK” JIM LONDOS:
(Nov. 18th 1938)
* It’s the Champion of the United States (Nagurski) vs. the Champion of Europe for the Undisputed Championship of the world! “A version of the World Title”, apparently. And Bronko Nagurski may be the single most “1930s Athlete” name I’ve ever heard in my life. He also looks EXACTLY like his name, stocky and hairy. Born Bronislau Nagurski, he’s a Canadian-born NFL player and was a legit superstar for the Chicago Bears, wrestling as a side job, where he’d become NWA Champion once. He’s 238 lbs. versus Londos at 202. Both are in black trunks so I’ll have to take commentary’s word for who is who. Both guys have real “before steroids” bodybuilder physiques- stocky and powerful with huge arms and shoulders. Londos is shockingly at least 44 years old here if the date is correct. He was a HUGE star in his day, and apparently popularized the airplane spin & sleeperhold according to his VERY kayfabed Wikipedia page. This has that “early movie hyperspeed” thing going but I think 0.85x speed is about what it would have been in real life.