Articles by Jabroniville — page 5

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I take a look at another tape-trader dream, as it’s the best of Michinoku Pro (minus Great Sasuke) in a big Sumo Hall 10-man that piles on the MOVEZ in a great comparison to the 2006 Dragon Gate match! It’s the fully heel Kaientai DX up against Hamada, Delfin, Tiger Mask, Gran Naniwa & Masato Yakushiji!

Then it’s a look at the bizarre debut of Tony “Ludvig Borga” Halme in New Japan, as he portrays a boxer up against a very green “Soultaker”- Charles “Papa Shango/Godfather” Wright! Then it’s a request, as Sting & Lex Luger take on the Faces of Fear  in 1996 WCW! Then I induce a lot more star power into this column, as MARTY JANNETTY takes on DUKE “THE DUMPSTER” DROESE, baby! Come see Duke almost tease a heel character before they gave up and were like “LOL no- he’s just a jobber”. And then a hilariously “1997 Indies” match on WWF RAW of all places, as Devon Storm fights Ace Darling! It’s the most indieriffic indie match imaginable, but tragically the match is cut short for time.

GRAN HAMADA, SUPER DELFIN, TIGER MASK IV, GRAN NANIWA & MASATO YAKUSHIJI vs. KAIENTAI DX (Taka Michinoku, Shoichi Funaki, Men’s Teioh, Dick Togo & Shiryu):
(Michinoku Pro, Oct. 10th 1996)
* Said to be the “MOVEZ~ Match du jour” of the late ’90s, I dunno. Holy god it’s long, though! MPro seems to be a never-ending succession of complex spots and multi-man matches, to the point where I wonder what all the solo bouts looked like (to be fair, Sasuke/Taka is good in both matches seen in North America). Delfin is a dolphin-themed comedy wrestler, Naniwa is a crab-man in blue, Tiger Mask is the fourth incarnation and the only one not cool enough to drop the gimmick and make his way on his own, and Yakushiji is… some guy I’ve never heard of. Looks like some generic dude in bad Red Ranger cosplay, and was a minor star from the looks of things, winning only some CMLL belts. Hamada, the stable leader, is the most “1980s puro guy” you’ve ever seen, with a curly mullet, plain black trunks and a dad bod. Kaientai were briefly a thing in the WWF, though Funaki stuck around for ages as a comedy jobber- here he’s thinner and in black & white pinstriped singlet. Taka’s the star of the team and looks like a 12-year old in blue shorts- he’d be the centerpiece of WWF’s failed Light Heavyweight division. Shiryu, in a blue Spider-Man-ish mask, is WCW jobber Kaz Hayashi. Men’s Teioh (no I have no idea what that means) looks kinda generic and has blond hair and trunks. Togo is the portly guy in blue tights.

ALL JAPAN WOMEN’S TWO-DAY RIOT:
(June 17th 1997)
* It’s time for more AJW! We hit the middle of 1997, and though business is down, the CRAZINESS is afoot, as Las Cachorras Orientales have reunited and set the company on fire with banger after banger after banger! Come see LCO vs. Manami Toyota & Toshiyo Yamada as the now main event heel duo actually make MANAMI bleed and show just how much mayhem they can fit into a basic tag match! Also it’s the WWWA Decision Match of Kyoko Inoue vs. Kaoru Ito for the vacant Red Belt!

The YouTube videos for most of this have been axed between when I reviewed it and when I posted this, but I found the Class of ’87 Clash up above there.

CMLL WORLD WOMEN’S TITLE:
MARIKO YOSHIDA vs. RIE TAMADA:
* Okay, this one’s a bit weird. The CMLL Women’s World Title is largely a trophy belt created in Mexico for AJW’s women to use, but is occasionally traded to Mexican talent like Lady Apache. But Akira Hokuto won it as the masked “Reina Jabuki” until late 1996, when she was stripped of it for appearing on WCW Nitro to do a quick job in the Women’s Title Tournament (which of course Akira won… but not as Reina). Apache won the belt but vacated it herself, and Mariko won it in Feb. 1997, and is now using it as a trophy. ie. AJW realizes that they have something in Yoshida, but not enough to like… give her an IMPORTANT belt, so she has this and defends it. Like when Manami had the IWA Title in 1992.

Hey all! It’s an extra Dream Matches column this week as I take a look at a request and just stick a random depressing match to the end of it. LOU THESZ vs. VERNE GAGNE for the NWA World Title in 1952! Come see just how epic a heel Lou Thesz was in 1952 against a short, spunky Gagne!

Also come see the origin of the dreaded “Conway Pop” as Rob Conway debuts as a charisma-vacuum with the most horrendous theme song in the history of the business, against poor “JTTS era but in retrospect he deserved this” Val Venis!

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
BEST TWO OF THREE FALLS:
LOU THESZ vs. VERNE GAGNE:
(Chicago Ampitheater, Jan. 25th 1952)
* Oh yes- it’s time. I dare to tackle what NWA Title matches looked like 70 years ago. Lou is the 233-lb. World Champion, while Gagne is his 218-lb. opponent. Best of all, it’s Russ Davis as the commentator again! This is so long ago that Vern is called “the most upstanding of the young challengers”. Both guys have mean widow’s peaks, and Lou’s hairy as all get-out with a mean dad look- Verne must be pale as hell because he’s basically reflecting the ring spotlights. You know it’s 1952 because every single man in the audience is wearing a suit. Imagine that at a wrestling event now.

PN News in his “No, I can STILL MAKE IT!” “Editing his own Wikipedia bio” phase.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I have a weird smorgasbord of stuff for you, as 1991 WCW sees something I’ve been missing in this column- a FAT MAN STAND-OFF as it’s future megastar Steve Austin as “Stunning” Steve teaming with Big Van Vader (still new to WCW) against midcard squad P.N. News and Z-Man (Tom Zenk)!  Then it’s the last match I could find in my “Best of Well Dunn” sequence… as Steven Dunn pops up as a SHOTGUN jobber teaming with Reno Riggins against the just-starting-to-work-it-out Hardy Boyz in 1998!

Then it’s some 1993 WWF RAW action as “Macho Man” Randy Savage faces Headshrinker Fatu in one of those “tag guy as a solo JTTS” matches! And sure enough- they do the “Savage Template”. And I take another look at Dragon Gate, as Shingo Takagi takes on BxB Hulk! Then finally it’s a request- Chris Jericho & Jim Powers vs. Rough & Ready! Yes, it’s the weirdest cross-section of WCW possible, with future legend Jericho teaming with never-was 1980s jobber Powers against washed-up Dick Slater and “Dream Matches MVP” Mike Enos!

“STUNNING” STEVE AUSTIN & BIG VAN VADER (w/ Lady Blossom) vs. P.N. NEWS & Z-MAN:
(WCW, Nov. 16th 1991)
* A crazy Dream Match featuring WCW’s biggest Monster Heel teaming with future superstar Austin, against a pair of guys who became known as joke midcard acts- News is a big fat white guy acting like a rapper while Z-Man is Tom Zenk in a midcard role. Both are in neon green to let you know what year this is- Zenk in trunks and News in a singlet. Austin’s a generic robed heel in black shorts while Vader’s got a steam-shooting helmet on but hasn’t really “completed” his act, exactly- he even takes his mask entirely off before the match.

BISON AND SOUL:
(Jd’, 1997)
* So this is some retrospective on Bison Kimura’s career, and boy it’d be well-timed because she retires in only a few months due to injury. First, we see her joining Dump Matsumoto’s Atrocious Alliance in its later days, using “evil heel eyeshadow” and teaming with a young Aja Kong. She joins Bull Nakano’s crew when Dump leaves, gaining a signature weapon with her tonfa rods. She & Aja form Jungle Jack and feud with Bull, becoming a legendary tag team and winning the WWWA Tag Belts, but Aja turns on her and slaughters her way to the World Title alone. Bison temporarily retires (probably forced out by AJW management) and later joins the new company Jd’ as its signature star.

She wins a variety of interpromotional matches in JD’s main events, but does a quick job to JWP’s Dynamite Kansai in 11 minutes via an armbar. She rallies back with a win over FMW’s Combat Toyoda via moonsault… and Combat gets the win back in home FMW territory, and Manami Toyota beats Bison, too. Then she fights Lioness Asuka- I thought I reviewed this one, but it’s an other bout they had and OH GOD THAT RUNTIME:

BISON KIMURA vs. LIONESS ASUKA:
(JD’, 5/2/1996)
* Asuka’s in black & white, while Bison’s in yellow & white.

I gotta say, I really think the white gear looks sharp. Less iconic, sure, but that’s a good look.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I take a look at the first run of Hulk Hogan in the WWF, as he wrestles as a heel against the World Champion, Bob Backlund! This one is a good look at how much time you can waste to reach 30 minutes… but has one absolute motherfucker of a feat of strength from Bob Backlund, and is a true must-see.

Then it’s a look at two Harlem Heat vs. Cactus Jack & Maxx Payne matches! Cactus vs. Booker is a match we didn’t see a lot of given the ways their careers went, so that’s kinda interesting, never mind a rare shot of Payne, who didn’t seem to be around for long. The last appearance of the short-lived BattleKat in the WWF as he takes on The Barbarian! And then the “Best of Well Dunn” continues, as Steven Dunn gets “tag guy as singles jobber” duties against Duke “The Dumpster” Droese!

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
BOB BACKLUND vs. HULK HOGAN:
(WWF, 4-12-1980)
* Oh yes, it’s Hulk Hogan in his pre-“Rock ‘n’ Wrestling” era self as a nasty heel challenging the World Champion, Bob Backlund. Hogan looks so, so damn young compared to even a few years later, still sporting a receding hairline but having a long blond mane. And damn, I LOVE those all-white trunks & boots- the yellow is so iconic and stands out more, but this is such an eye-popping look. Bob’s in the usual red trunks, and gets a HUGE reaction from this Philadelphia crowd, though at least one “Heel Fan” is heard loudly booing on camera.

Oh fart- they deleted the video before I could post the review! You’ll just have to take my word for it then!

AJW TV (May 11th 1997):
* It’s finally time more more AJW stuff! This time we get a 1:22:00 TV show. This show is a really interesting one from a booking perspective, as MANAMI TOYOTA AND TOSHIYO YAMADA team up again, as the former champs for a huge chunk of 1992-95 come calling for the current champs, Tomoko & Kumiko! Though it’s non-title. I don’t know how much drama this would have had at the time (Yamada is donezo as a threat) but it’s super-interesting for me. Also the WWWA Champion Kyoko Inoue takes on Kaoru Ito, in what’s likely a match to establish just how high-tier Ito is with her new push- she tied with Aja and BEAT Manami Toyota, so in a sense she’s a worthy challenger… as much as she has a snowball’s chance in hell with this one.

Also, we get the return of JUNGLE JACK, as Aja Kong & Bison Kimura re-team to take on another old-school team, Takako Inoue & Yumiko Hotta. They’re in the Nagoya Arena, which has blackened out nearly EVERYTHING- the signs of a really dying fanbase.

We start with a goofy pair of TV hosts taking us to an AJW arena show. The guy ogles Yumi Fukawa’s new bikini photobook while she does the “hide her mouth” shy laugh (they were selling Fukawa photobooks and not MITA photobooks? No wonder they went bankrupt in 1997!), then knock on a door and Aja Kong comes up behind them and starts swatting the dude with papers, then the photobook.

Called “Wrestling’s Most Influential Match Ever”… and that just might be true. For better or worse.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one has an amazing match to start us off- “The Flair/Steamboat of MOVEZ Matches” as I’ve heard it described, as two Dragon Gate teams face off at Ring of Honor Supercard of Honor 2006! Come watch the match the U.S. indie/AEW style has been chasing for the last 17 years, and come listen to me ramble about just WHY they can’t quite seem to catch it!

And of course I follow it up with matches featuring the Beverly Brothers and Well Dunn! This time, it’s the Beverly Brothers versus BABYFACE Nasty Boys, during Knobs & Sags’ latter period in the WWF. After that, it’s Well Dunn being fed to the new babyface duo of the Allied Powers- Lex Luger & The British Bulldog! And finally we end with a request from my “Wrestlers Slaughtering Jobbers” column, as it’s Rob Van Dam accidentally splattering Kurt Angle’s mouth all over the place, leading to Kurt being out on his feet and bleeding buckets.

DRAGON GATE RULES (no tags necessary)
DO FIXER (Ryo Saito, Genki Horiguchi & Dragon Kid) vs. BLOOD GENERATION (CIMA, Masato Yoshino & Naruki Doi):
(Ring of Honor, Supercard of Honor 2006)
* Okay, so here’s another request, and it’s said to be a MOVEZ match from Dragon Gate (the former Toryumon)- you have been warned!! I know jack shit about any of these people but one so bear with me- I’m on the Pro Wrestling Wiki copying movesets so I at least know what’s what (jesus CIMA’s moveset is like a mile long). Saito’s a pretty “typical puro heel” with the dyed hair, toned body and bisected shorts. Genki’s got long tights in black & yellow and wears a shirt in the ring. Dragon Kid looks like Ultimo Dragon shrank in the wash, and was the “flippy guy du jour” in the business for a while. He’s in lime green and is skinny with no definition whatsoever. Yoshino’s got a ridiculously toned body with a weirdly skinny waist, like he’s sucking it in so he’s all ribcage- he’s in long black shorts. Doi’s just like Saito, but with black trunks. CIMA’s a pretty famous dude, having wrestled all over (even as a jobber in WCW)- his black shorts have tons of tassels and he gets by far the biggest reaction.

“The pain of barbed wire matches is beyond imagination, but when I think of the harm that she has done to us- Tsuchiya bullying rookies and forcing Combat (Toyoda) to consider retirement, I could overcome the fear with anger and a sense of responsibility.”
-A very calm, placid all-timer of a babyface promo.

31 Days of Move Origins #5 – Megumi Kudo’s Kudo Driver (Vertabreaker) from SquaredCircle

JOSHI SPOTLIGHT- MEGUMI KUDO:
Real Name: Megumi Kudo (married as Megumi Takayama)
Billed Height & Weight: 5’4″ 132 lbs.
Career Length: 1986-88 (retired/let go early), 1990-1997 (FMW)

-Interestingly, among the biggest stars in the history of women’s wrestling didn’t wrestle for All Japan Women’s Pro Wrestling much at all, but was the superstar mega-babyface of Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling, acting as a female version of their dominant Ace, Atsushi Onita. Kudo had actually started with AJW (the same graduating class as Aja Kong, in fact), but retired young and was later hand-picked to be the center of FMW’s women’s division, mostly made up of Kudo and fellow babyfaces against an army of evil, merciless heels right out of the ’80s- so it was “nice, normal girls” vs. “facepaint-wearing Nazi harridans”, which Kudo’s professional training backing up a division of mostly horrendous workers with the barest idea of what they were doing. And she was SO GOOD that FMW maintained a very nice run of ***-ish women’s matches at the top spot despite her & Combat Toyoda being the only two women in the company worth a damn in the ring.

And like… remember the Hurricane? And his crazy finisher the Vertebreaker? It was invented by Megumi Kudo- called the “Kudo Driver”. A convoluted spinning  set-up into one of the more profound neck-bumps in wrestling.

Scott Steiner and the LOD would watch this and be like “Shitting hell, ease it up a bit”.

Welcome back to more of wrestlers brutally abusing jobbers! This time I have TWO requests from Maffew, and matches featuring the four gods of taking liberties- the Steiner Brothers and the Legion of Doom! One has the guy fighting the LOD getting a big head about his position and no-selling, while the other is a standard Steiner Brothers squash, but their very first on WWF TV! Then Shelton Benjamin gets a fantastic squash by ragdolling Colin Delaney around like a video game physics engine gone mad!

Then it’s an SWS match, as Yoshiaki Fujiwara (aka the guy who made that armbar everyone uses today famous) effortlessly squashes a member of the Viet Cong Express from Stampede Wrestling, embarrassing him in the “shoot style”. And then it’s one of the most brutal beatings in WWF history, as AJA KONG from All Japan Women’s Wrestling comes to WWF RAW and beats the ever-loving shit out of Chaparrita ASARI to the point that VINCE McMAHON drops insider lingo on commentary about “Potatoes being thrown around the ring”.

THE ROAD WARRIORS (Hawk & Animal, w/ Paul Ellering) vs. KEN LUCAS & ZULU:
(AWA, Dec. 12th 1984)
* A request from Maffew, this one sees the LOD take on two guys I’ve never heard of- Zulu has a WWF superstar look (taller than either Warrior) but a receding hairline, and is an otherwise normal-looking black dude in red trunks. Lucas is an itty-bitty dwarfish man with a dad-bod and black trunks, and was apparently out of semi-retirement for this one, and wasn’t used to being treated like a jobber. Oh, “Huffy jobber” matches are always a mess. Cagematch says he debuted in *1960* and his finisher was an ABDOMINAL STRETCH if you wanna realize just what kind of an era he was from.

So with the sad news of Lanny Poffo’s passing, a couple people recommended I review Hogan/Genius, given it was Poffo’s peak in the business- I figured I’d make a special short Friday Dream Matches column out of it, getting that and his one PPV match- The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake from the 1990 Royal Rumble (with an all-time quip from Jesse Ventura)! Also I’ll toss in one of his last WWF bouts (in fact, I’m sure it’s his last TV match), as he teams up with his charges the Beverly Brothers against Max Moon & High Energy!

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
HULK HOGAN vs. THE GENIUS:
(WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event, Oct. 31st 1989)
* This is a bizarre one- a total mismatch featuring Hogan going up against the former “Leapin'” Lanny Poffo, a low-tier babyface with a penchant for acrobatic moves like the futuristic “Moonsault”, now reimagined as a mincing, effeminate heel (I’ve heard tell this was Lanny’s idea to avoid getting fired). Hulk Hogan and his cocainey best proclaims to Mean Gene that “if he’s so darn smart, how come he doesn’t know that mathematically, he can’t win, brother?” See, it turns out that the “three demandments” (training/prayer/vitamins), plus the 24 inch pythons, times the millions of Hulkamaniacs = Victory. Dang he’s as good at math as Steiner. Good diction too, as he sputters “POETIC PROWESS?!” at Mean Gene’s assertion. Then counters with a Longfellowian poem “Roses are red/violets are blue/the Hulkster’s a wrestler- Genius WHAT ARE YOU?!”.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time around, we have a major NWA Title main event, as Harley Race defends the belt against ANDRE THE GIANT in Houston, Texas! It’s a good look at the way the NWA belt was defended in the U.S., and a good look at how the “NWA Style” was modified around a challenger like Andre, who wasn’t a technical marvel but was huge. Also, HARLEY SLAMS ANDRE!

Then it’s over to the AWA as Bruiser Brody & Nord the Barbarian (The Berzerker) team up against Verne Gagne’s son Greg and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka in a Steel Cage Match! Over to 1993 WWF for a very “1993 WWF” match as a newly-returned Marty Jannetty takes on fading heel Papa Shango! And finally, it’s one of the most horrifyingly stiff matches in WWF history, as Faarooq & Bradshaw decided to beat a lesson into The Public Enemy in what turns out to be their last WWF match.

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
BEST TWO OF THREE FALLS:
HARLEY RACE vs. ANDRE THE GIANT:
(Houston, January 7th 1979)
* Oh yeah, it’s some old-school ANDRE THE GIANT content this time around. This is back when the Giant was still a guy travelling to different regions fighting everyone’s top guys, before Vince wanted him to stay put. Andre before he had a massive gut and could wear red trunks without looking horrifying, and Harley with his “Scary Uncle” facial hair and big beer belly. Andre has twice the body mass, though.

MEGUMI KUDO- QUEEN OF THE DEATH MATCHES:
* So Megumi Kudo is set to retire at this point in my timeline, so I figured I’d finally review one of those Kudo Compilations that shows up on YouTube from time to time. I hear FMW stuff gets stricken down all the time, and it’s almost never around when I want to review it, but I’ll try this one out.

BARBED WIRE STICK MATCH:
LIONESS ASUKA & SHARK TSUCHIYA vs. BISON KIMURA & MEGUMI KUDO:
(FMW Winning Road 1997)
* This one features a pair of JD’/FMW teams, as JD’ Ace Lioness Asuka teams with FMW’s top female heel against Kudo the Ace and Bison Kimura, whom JD’ was using as a common main eventer. Bison’s in khaki gear this time, and Kudo’s & Shark are in jeans and a black shirts- Asuka’s in all black.

The Undertaker & Paul Bearer. In 1987. I had no idea.

I found more Jobber squashes! A combination of stiff squashes, huge botches that go on to be legends (everyone familiar with Triple H knows THIS one), and basic worked ass-kickings combine as we look at some of the bigger squashes you’ll see. I missed Maffew’s requests until I was done writing this one, but I can get to those next week!

So yes, come see one of the most notorious finisher botches around as Hunter Hearst-Helmsely faces Marty Garner! A great squash with scrawny, pasty geek Colin Delaney on WWE’s version of ECW getting annihilated by Bid Daddy V after the funniest “aw golly gee whiz” jobber promo ever! Rick Steiner doing his best to annihilate the big, burly Bubba Howard in WCW! And then it’s an all-time squash as Big Van Vader hits UWF-International in Japan and absolutely murders Tatsuo Nakano in a worked-shoot squash!

Also a rare shot of a JOBBER UNDERTAKER, as Mark Calaway does a rookie gimmick as “Texas Red”, a masked muscleman, as he jobs to Bruiser Brody… and unwisely starts CALLING SPOTS and fighting too rough with the grumpy veteran. And then the time Rick Rude splattered Jim Powers’s face with a flying ass slam

HUNTER HEARST-HELMSELY (w/ Regina Evans) vs. MARTY GARNER:
(WWF Superstars, 6/1/96)
* Another famous botch in this one. HHH at this point was being led to the ring by a different floozie every night (usually a local model, which they always take great care to name on-camera)- this time he actually makes out with her, which I don’t remember seeing much of. Garner is a skinny tanned guy with a ponytail and goatee- I love the pink & white tights, haha. Helmsley at this point was fairly tall and lanky-looking, with a far softer physique than his bloated roid one in later years. This is right around when he started getting punished for his part in the “Curtain Call”, as he’s about to fight Jake Roberts in the King of the Ring tournament on RAW.

Bam Bam Bigelow had a LOT of potentially huge runs in him, but something about him rubbed a ton of high-level people in wrestling the wrong way.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I’ve found two bouts from a Madison Square Garden card before the Hogan/Andre match for the Title, as Hogan teams up with his newest buddy, Bam Bam Bigelow, against Ted DiBiase and VIRGIL in a rare in-ring appearance for the Million Dollar Man’s bodyguard! Come watch a tour de force of heel selling by DiBiase, and just how jacked Virgil was in 1988. Following that it’s “The Rock”… Don Muraco vs. The One Man Gang in a match that looks more like the Gang was angling for another push.

Then it’s a bizarre request, as it’s the Battle of the Forgotten 1992 JTTS Gimmicks, as “Terrific” Terry Taylor and Lance Cassidy (Steve Armstrong in a cowboy gimmick) battle it out and kill time in epic fashion! Then it’s more of the Best of Well Dunn, as they actually make the spring of 1995, taking on the brand-new Blu Twins, Jacob & Eli!

HULK HOGAN & BAM BAM BIGELOW (w/ Oliver Humperdink) vs. “THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN” TED DIBIASE & VIRGIL (w/ Andre the Giant):
(WWF in MSG, Jan. 1988)
* The Million Dollar Corporation EXPLODES as DiBiase & Bam Bam face each other… four years before BBB became part of one of the worst stables of all time. Here, Bigelow is still a top-ranked “Hogan Buddy” before his own attitude and politics would jettison the thousands of $$$ he’d have made betraying his pal later in the year, and Hogan is still World Champion. At this point, Virgil was only barely trained and only occasionally wrestled on TV- here he’s in long red tights and HOLY SHIT was he jacked in 1988. Like he maybe has the best physique in the company.

JWP- LIFE IN THE BATTLE (April 8th, 1997):
* Here it comes- a major JWP show! Their online content is not up to snuff from 1995-97 sadly, so I feel like there’s a LOT of stuff I’ve missed out on. For example, even the disparate stuff that’s shown up on Rico Kasai’s YouTube channel has been very sparing for Hikari Fukuoka’s matches, and they’ve been building her up into a credible World Title challenger all this time! And here it is- the show where the colossal Hikari vs. Kansai match takes place for the JWP Openweight Title! An absolute banger and one of the best joshi matches from this time period!

Matches We Miss:
Tomoko Miyaguchi d. Sari Osumi (9:47): Osumi only lasts a year in the business.
Command Bolshoi, Devil Masami & Plum Mariko d. Candy Okutsu, Tomoko Kuzumi & Tomoko Miyaguchi (20:47): … man, they saddled Candy with two green rookies against Devil & Plum’s team? Crazy. And 20 minutes!

CUTIE SUZUKI vs. KANAKO MOTOYA:
* Motoya, still pretty green, gets to be demolished by Cutie Suzuki, who at this point is kind of just in the “still kicking” phase of her career. She still lasts until late ’98, but I’m to understand that she was half-assing it until then, her push long since over. Motoya’s in pink & white, looking like a Megumi Kudo clone, while Cutie’s in white ruffles. Cutie has this Takako Inoue-like “How DARE you try to be as pretty as me in my ring?” look to her, so if she leans into that, this could be fun.

Mr. Hughes was a guy who showed up in WCW and the WWF yet never got above “midcarder” despite his size. He’s become a more respected trainer, with trainees include AEW’s A.R. Fox & Kiera Hogan, plus Heath Slater, Dexter Lumis, Jonathan Gresham & Apollo Crews.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have a pretty crazy assortment of stuff, leading off WCW as Sting & The Steiner Brothers face Big Van Vader, Cactus Jack & Mr. Hughes! Then it’s the British Bulldogs in 1989 All Japan, as they take on the Malenko Brothers- Joe and future star Dean! Then the insanity of WWF Shotgun Saturday Night‘s debut, as they wrestle in a tiny ring in a dark New York nightclub… it’s The Godwinns vs. The Flying Nuns! Yeah, the Headbangers in a one-off weirdo gimmick that I still don’t understand the point of. Then finally, it’s more of “The Best of Well Dunn” as they take on Virgil & Steve Fox. Yes, poor Virgil gets stuck with the “teaming with jobber” duties.

STING & THE STEINER BROTHERS (Rick & Scott Steiner) vs. BIG VAN VADER, CACTUS JACK & MR. HUGHES (w/ Harley Race):
(WCW The Main Event, Feb 9th 1992)
* Oh hell yes!! What a bizarre mish-mash of guys! The top babyfaces of WCW against the top heel, the wild brawler Cactus, and the weird flash in the pan Mr. Hughes, who bounced around various companies, never mattering in any of them. Vader’s in the usual red & Black, Cactus is in mostly black, Hughes has his trademark white dress shirt, black slacks and sunglasses, while Sting’s in white, Rick’s in a multicolored paint-splatter singlet & Scott’s in a black/green one.

GAEA JAPAN- SECOND ANNIVERSARY SHOW (Part Two):
(April 29th, 1997)
* So a week after the April 21st show comes another “Second Anniversary” special. This one features yet another WCW Women’s Cruiserweight Title defense by Toshie Uematsu, Chigusa and the first “Chigusa Clone” (Toshiyo Yamada) against the best of GAEA’s first generation of rookies (Meiko & Kato!), and Akira Hokuto teaming with Maiko Matsumoto- a rookie just entering her second year- against Mayumi Ozaki and her best goon, Chikayo Nagashima!

Oh, and it’s the debut of Chigusa Nagayo’s heel character ZERO! So, uh, there’s that. For all you Zero fans out there. Wait am I supposed to capitalize her name now?

WCW WOMEN’S CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE:
TOSHIE UEMATSU vs. SUGAR SATO:
* Toshie now defends WCW gold against the OZ Academy turncoat. Sato’s now in a more elaborate version of her white gear, with lots of strings and cut-out bits. We’re JIP here.

What ’80s jobbers see every time they close their eyes.

Hey look! I’m back with more horrific squashes! I was intending last week’s thing to be a one-off as I couldn’t otherwise think of what to do with those bouts (they’re hardly Dream Matches), but people noted a whole ton more! So here we are with Volume 2!

This week: The Legion of Doom rapidly tire of a fat jobber’s inability to take a clothesline right! Rick Rude in a famous bout where he works REALLY tight with poor Mark Starr! The Moondogs have way too much fun abusing the job guys of Memphis, Tennessee! Oh, and the time the Beverly Brothers absolutely murdered a poor bastard with the Shaker Heights Spike. We end with Paul Orndorff absolutely slaughtering a jobber in a way that looks more vicious than it actually was, then hits one of the greatest delusional heel promos in history immediately following it!

THE ROAD WARRIORS (Hawk & Animal, w/ “Precious” Paul Ellering) vs. RON ROSSI & GEORGE SOUTH:
(NWA World Wide Wrestling, June 22nd 1985)
* From way, way back, comes the early days of the Road Warriors, when they were in plain black tights and had more colorful facepaint. Hawk says “we don’t got nothin’ but rippling muscle, with which we are going to tear the Russians apart” which is a tremendous combination of “English Major” and “uneducated moron” grammar. Animal just screams “WE HATE RUSSIANS!”. They’re actually mentioned as being the AWA Tag Champs despite this being an NWA show. And now it’s time to destroy some jobbers. Both have amazing jobber looks- South’s pasty and hairy with a curly 1985 mullet and ‘stache, while Rossi’s just a big chubby guy. Both are in black trunks.

GAEA JAPAN- SECOND ANNIVERSARY SHOW:
(April 21st 1997)
* It’s time for more GAEA Japan! And it’s their Second Anniversary show! As AJW stuff becomes more and more sparse, it looks like GAEA was the only promotion really busting it out there. This April show features Toshie Uematsu defending a *WCW* belt, as she faces AJW’s Yuka Shiina for the WCW Women’s Cruiserweight Title!

Unfortunately, this show is quite massively clipped and only has two matches available. But there’s another show a week later… and it features the Japanese debut of ZERO!! Wait with baited breath!

WCW WOMEN’S CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE:
TOSHIE UEMATSU (GAEA Japan) vs. YUKA SHIINA (AJW):
* Yup- it’s April and Toshie’s already defending her newly-won WCW gold against another promotion’s wrestler, as Yuka Shiina comes in from AJW for a shot. Shiina is now angry-looking, in a red top & white shorts, looking a bit less like a jobber. Toshie’s upgraded past her green singlet and is now wearing a lot of green frills on a leotard. The giant kneebrace is a sad sign of things to come.