Joshi Spotlight: GAEA’s 5th Anniversary (CRUSH GALS REUNITE!)

GAEA JAPAN- 5TH ANNIVERSARY DAY:
(May 14th 2000)
* GAEA Japan is officially 5 years old! Their big anniversary show takes place in a good-sized arena (the Tokyo Ariake Coliseum) and features a lot of big matches for the company- The CRUSH GALS REUNITE as Chigusa Nagayo & Lioness Asuka take on Devil Masami & Akira Hokuto! The two biggest stars of the ’80s take on one of their top rivals AND one of the top stars of the ’90s! Aja Kong defends the AAAW World Title against Meiko Satomura once more, in a rematch of GAEA’s best-ever match! A giant weapons brawl between Mayumi Ozaki & KAORU where one of them invents the One Winged Angel! Toshiyo Yamada getting fed to Neo’s Kyoko Inoue! Rookie Saika Takeuchi being faced by heel cheater RIE! We start off with the introductions, each group showing up separately.

GAEA Roster: Chigusa Nagayo, Devil Masami (sorta), Mayumi Ozaki, Akira Hokuto, Toshiyo Yamada, KAORU, (First Class) Meiko Satomura, Sonoko Kato, Sugar Sato, Chikayo Nagashima, Toshie Uematsu, (Second Class) Sakura Hirota
Himiko Roster: Mayumi Ozaki, Akira Hokuto, Devil Masami, Sugar Sato, Chikayo Nagashima, RIE, Kaori Nakayama
DorA Roster: Aja Kong, Lioness Asuka, KAORU, Sonoko Kato

DYNAMITE KANSAI (JWP) vs. SAKURA HIROTA (GAEA):
* Sakura defends her big fake title again, as this is basically her new thing- doing cosplay and defending her belt. She comes down in clown makeup and an elaborate costume full of feathers, and leading an “army” behind her via paper mannequins that “march” in unison because their limbs are all attached to hers. Sakura’s makeup looks more “bad attempt to look glamorous” with the blonde pigtails and curls, and she’s wearing some frilly outfit. An amused Kansai acquiesces to her pre-match demand for a noblewoman’s greeting, and we’re off.

Sakura tries to tickle Kansai and the referee with a long green feather, but when she attempts to stab Kansai with it, we get the KICK BLOCK!~~ and Sakura hurts her arm, running off to whine about the pain. She suckers Kansai in with a handshake and hits her mounted double-arm stretch, but Kansai whips her head-first into the turnbuckle and that’s the end of that. Kansai counters the “backdrop suplex to splash” counter but attempts a flying stomp and Sakura rolls all the way across the ring- her & the ref shaming Kansai for not going through with the move anyways. We’re clipped to Sakura attemping a RAMP-RUN MOVE~~, barreling at top speed only to trip and wipe out with a big bump right before contact hahaha okay that was pretty good. Kansai gingerly jobs for a lariat and Sakura milks the count, getting the announcer to keep counting while she sneaks behind Kansai, but Kansai finally notices on the GAEAtron. Sakura still dodges her and uses backfist spam, but Kansai goes low and hits a backdrop driver for two. Sakura rolls out of Splash Mountain for two and CLOCKS Dynamite with a right hand when another backfist is blocked, but tries her Half-Dragon Suplex and gets squashed for two, then runs into a lariat for three at (5:46 of 9:38 shown)- Kansai handily wins.

Rating: *1/2 (Another amusing Sakura loss- her schtick is improving, as either editing helps or she’s using better gags… and they’ve stopped with the “she tries to wrestle well” bits, which are not great)

SAIKA TAKEUCHI (GAEA) vs. RIE (Himiko):
* Time for more of GAEA’s only rookie getting demolished while getting 1-2 impressive kickouts! RIE is now fully cheating all the time, which is good because she’s otherwise very un-good.

We’re JIP with Saika being strangled using a chain and hung over the top rope, but she manages a miracle dropkick to the knee when RIE sails off the top rope and scores a billion dropkicks until the fans are actually excited. A 2nd-rope dropkick to the knee gets two (lol why is a limb strike a pinnable move?) and Saika is so upset with the ref she gets her back smashed by a barbed-wire shinai. The ref swipes it so RIE punches the kid with a chain and Germans her, slapping her leg during the pin to bring feeling back into it (nice touch). Saika “Fuck YOU!” bridges out, and RIE goes for a release Tiger Driver (!)- same result. RIE wraps the chain around her shinbone and boots away, then hits the Flying Knee for 2.9! Fans thought that was it. A tired, fading RIE goes to the ropes to re-wrap her leg and Saika is able to sneak up behind her for a Tiger Suplex… and GETS THE GODDAMN PIN AT (4:42 of 9:31 shown)! I was not expecting that! Great crowd reaction as they weren’t either! RIE was wearing her down but got overconfident and was wasting too much time and just got caught. RIE is dumbfounded (probably thinking “well that’s it for my chances of getting pushed” lol) and Saika is so damn excited when Meiko congratulates her and confirms that yes, she did in fact get the pin.

Actually good for what it was! Saika is obviously limited and so is RIE, but they constructed a simple little match around those limitations, featuring RIE selling her leg well, Saika repeatedly going to attack it as a default, the kid getting some mandatory “unexpected kickouts”, and RIE looking generally annoyed by how fighty she’s being, thus putting her over while mostly doing a steady squash. Except they TRICKED US and Takeuchi finally managed to pull one off (with a Tiger Suplex of all things- one of the trickier ones to do!).

Rating: ** (a very solid little story- not fancy but very direct)

TOSHIYO YAMADA (GAEA) vs. KYOKO INOUE (Neo):
* Kyoko Inoue comes to GAEA Japan and her first opponent is of course a midcarder whose entire job is now “jobs to main stars”. Yamada is now wearing black gear with neon stripes on it- better than her Flintstones outfit for sure. Kyoko’s in red & yellow.

We’re JIP as Kyoko charges in with a lariat on the ramp but Yamada ducks it and backdrop drivers her. She goes *MMA* in the corner with punches and kicks while Kyoko turtles up until she’s finally worked down- another backdrop gets two. Kyoko fires up with a BIG gut-punch, but charges in with a lariat and an intercepting thrust kick pops the crowd. They’ve obviously been at it a while as they’re WIPED and we’re doing near-falls already. Kyoko comes off a whip with a lariat, but does her own whip and eats the spinkick counter for two. Kyoko counters her finisher but gets countered for two and keeps scoring weak lariats, and Yamada settles for a dragon sleeper instead of her finish, and suplexes Kyoko to slap it on again, then gets a kick caught and is perfect plexed for two. Yamada stuffs the Niagara Driver, but Kyoko hits a long version, holding her up for emphasis… for two (lol did the ref stall out, thinking Yamada was out?). She does another one for two (why is Kyoko letting Yamada kill her finish, lol?), and Yamada finally clobbers her with an elbow to stop a third. Double-down! Kyoko tries a finishing Lariat but misses and a second elbow gets two! They pull each other off the top, Yamada turning one into the Reverse Gory Bomb for an anemic 2-count. Yamada fires up a straight right hand and they get into an elbow/punch war with dramatic build-ups- this part has mostly killed the crowd. Worse still, it’s now the FINISH, as Kyoko switches to a lariat, then hits another for three at (9:50 of 16:58 shown). Once they’re both conscious it’s all handshakes.

This was a bit of a weird one- we’re obviously JIP a long way into the match as they’re tired and slow, and they start into the nearfalls… then it’s time for a long dragon sleeper spot (which goes from a nearfall into a resthold) and then it’s… more finisher trading? Kyoko was throwing some soft-ass lariats in this one for whatever reason, too. Some of them were borderline running hugs. And as a result of all this time-killing and finisher-kickouts (Kyoko is hitting her Niagara Driver as a crucifix here, possibly to make the lift and slam easier) and the crowd, which was pretty hot at first, is now a bit tired out and cares a lot less. They do a big, dramatic “fight up and hit a huge shot” series with Yamada’s Goo Punch and Kyoko’s elbow, neither of which has ever been a finish for either, killing the crowd just in time for Kyoko to hit two more lariats and win. Why Kyoko was hitting lariats all match if a couple were just gonna end it is a mystery.

Rating: **1/4 (usual perfectly fine stuff, but a bad match construction kills the crowd and ruins drama, and Kyoko mostly just hits the same 2 moves over and over again and eventually wins through… attrition?)

AAAW TAG TITLES:
HIMIKO (Chikayo Nagashima & Sugar Sato) vs. TOSHIE UEMATSU & THE BLOODY:
* uhhhh what, haha? Uematsu is teaming up with The Bloody from JD’, apparently having nothing else to do, as a makeshift team to challenge the tag champs. Sugar’s in SILVER, finally gaining a new look after five years in fairly plain white! We’re in a brand new era! Chikayo’s in yellow, Bloody’s in red/black and Toshie’s in green & black.

We’re JIP with Bloody DDTing Chikayo out of her Fisherman’s Buster, but Chikayo recovers with a running ace crusher and Sugar adds a missile dropkick. She nearly badly messes up an attempt at catching Bloody, turning it into a dragon screw and submission- Toshie flies in with a big splash and beats on both opponents until Chikayo straightjacket Germans her and the Rocket Launcher Stomp gets two. Toshie flips out of another F-Buster but Chikayo immediately swings into a slingshot rana as her stuff is just INSANELY good at this point. Sugar & Toshie have a spirited go and Bloody sets up Toshie’s double-wrist armsault to counter a powerbomb. Bloody hits Rolling Germans to a good reaction (though Sugar is SAILING on them to the point where it reveals the “trick” is that the one taking it is just jumping while the other falls back). But Toshie accidentally missile kicks Bloody and Sugar’s powerbomb gets a close two. Everyone scraps really hard and Bloody dodges a rocket launcher and locks Sugar in a nasty straightjacket back-bending hold, Chikayo breaking that up QUICK, and the challengers single out Sugar and hit a knee into a Dragon Suplex for one of the closest two-counts I’ve ever seen, Chikayo diving it at the absolute last moment. Toshie lashes out in frustration with Goo Punches but nails her partner and Sugar ligerbombs Bloody- Toshie dives on to save! And when Chikayo missile kicks her partner by mistake, it looks like we have it- the challengers attempt Stereo Suplexes with their signatures- but Sugar escapes the Dragon Suplex and attempts her Ligerbomb as Chikayo flips out of the double-wrist of Toshie’s, Bloody attempts a rana counter to Sugar who blocks it, Chikayo boots down Toshie then DROPKICKS Bloody while she’s upside-down, and Sugar hauls her back up for the Ligerbomb at (7:42 of 16:15 shown)! The champs retain!

This was the best kind of frenetic “stop pins at all costs” wrestling, as almost right away it’s people pulling out all the stops to pin. And their style is very “any move could actually do it” so a lot of the finishes are believable, and they pull off some heart-stoppingly close near-falls as well. And little things like someone breaking up a pin and being tossed so the team can desperately try a double-team- THAT stuff puts over the sheer desire to win and shows great determination. Like you can TASTE their attempts at falls. And that was a slick finish- Sugar is really iffy at this point in time due to injuries & weight, but her team’s end-runs are always fantastic sequences full of counters and people swinging in at the right time. Granted it wasn’t done PHYSICALLY perfectly (Chikayo basically stumbles and has to reposition and Sugar’s holding of Bloody wasn’t ultra-smooth and Bloody clearly did a prominent sit-up by herself) but the booking is great.

Rating: ***1/2 (a tremendous show of effort, double-teams and complicated nearfall sequences)

FREE WEAPON MATCH:
MAYUMI OZAKI (w/ Police) vs. KAORU (w/ Jen Yukari):
* OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO another “Ozaki Clusterfuck Match”. These are often complete shit-shows, especially in singles. But look! It’s POLICE! The first chronological apperance in my timeline of her male police officer-dressing minion, who turns every match into a cacaphony of interference. He’s so good at playing a heel I actually kind of hate him as a person for real. He’s walking around making cut-throat gestures and acting all tough while bringing Ozaki to ringside in handcuffs while she wears a leather skirt and top in the most blatantly fetishistic I’ve seen joshi pull off in a WHILE. KAORU comes down with Jen Yukari from LLPW of all people, of course carrying her “broken-off table piece”. She’s got some feathery black robe on and a black belly-shirt/leather pants combo underneath in another big gear-switch for this show.

Both women charge each other on the ramp but Police holds back Yukari while Ozaki clocks KAORU out and makes a big show of drilling a hole through her table-piece with a drill (which immediately loses its bit). We get like 3 minutes on an inconsequential “walk & brawl” with KAORU eating all this offense but immediately firing up and nailing everyone with her table-piece (shockingly, a single tiny hole through it doesn’t render it useless after all), but she gets shoved off a ladder and buckle-bombed into a metal gate and nailed with it a bunch (and also powerbombed on it while it’s flat), but fires back with the table piece on everyone again and brainbusters Ozaki on it. KAORU then uppercuts Police in the nutsack (GOOD) and takes a full friggin’ minute to set up a spot- a flying senton off the ladder on the ramp through Ozaki on a table on the floor. There’s still 20 minutes left. They do a long walk & brawl for 2 minutes then KAORU moonsaults off a lighting rig thingie. Rather than do anything weird like “try to win”, she just waits Ozaki out on the ramp so they can have a weapon fight, Ozaki winning with a backfist and wrapping three chairs in a row around KAORU’s head and grinding on her with her red pokey-stick. KAORU’s now a bloody mess, puffing her cheeks out to make blood flow more while Oz shows it off and grinds away. A chain gets used and is pretty quickly covered red with blood- KAORU used powder and a Michinoku Driver- Police draws MASSIVE heat for hitting the ref. KAORU has Yukari set Oz on a table on the floor, hitting her Senton Suicida through it sideways.

Another M-Driver and Police still interrupts (though just hitting KAORU’s leg is enough?). They abuse Police a while and put him in a small trash can, and Yukari sprays Oz with something so KAORU can hit another Driver on the ramp for two. KAORU tries to finish but Ozaki leaps onto her and does her “shoulder-mounted armbar” thing, adding a chain around it to help… but KAORU flat-out invents ONE WINGED ANGEL, plain as day the same move (she calls it Excalibur 2000 apparently), and instead of going for a pin wraps the chain around her like a belt and tries a moonsault off the ladder. Ozaki dodges and a Ligerbomb gets two, but Police clotheslines her by accident, but Yukari chairshots KAORU and Oz hits the Tequila Sunrise for two. A slapfight on the ladder leads to a Superplex by KAORU in the ring, and a Turning Senton gets two. Police nails KAORU with a guitar and Oz powerbombs her on the garbage can, then wraps her in plastic and ligerbombs her on some chairs- Yukari saves. Finally Ozaki just bombs KAORU into the explodey-stick thingie and wraps her fist in a chain to hit a million backfists for the pin at (22:07 of 28:36 shown), thank GOD. Oz & Police have a gross makeout fest that is blocked by a censor thing. But she shakes hands with KAORU after the match- I think forming D-FIX from this! Not that GAEA’s stable names matter at all.

The worst kind of “Walk & Brawl” match, where it was like they had a bunch of spots planned for the match, but accidentally dropped their cue cards before it and assembled them in random order, so you had weird shit like a super bump in the opening third leading to nothing. All of it made worse by the way they just killed 2-3 minutes between everything either by brawling around in the stands or literally waiting for no reason. Another issue is that neither woman is especially good at selling here- Ozaki used to be tremendous at it as babyface or heel, but now her default is just “grimace while squinting” while KAORU barely does that, resulting in a massive bloody beatdown not really earning her much of a reaction. Neither ever really looks like they’re fighting up from torment or accessing something deep within themselves, either- they just counter something and yell then do another move. That exploding stand thing was ridiculous, too- it was teased ONCE in the match and avoided by KAORU, then never touched on again until Oz uses it in the finish.

Rating: *1/2 (just a mindless, pea-brained “use weapons & a couple big spots” match extended to twice its necessary length. THRICE from the unclipped length!)

AAAW WORLD TITLE:
AJA KONG vs. MEIKO SATOMURA:
* GAEA’s best ever match might be the ****1/2 affair between Aja & Meiko for the belt in 1999, which featured Aja bullying Meiko for like 16 minutes until the kid pulled off a huge Pele Kick that had Aja so stunned she was suddenly fighting on the backfoot all match long, having to try as hard as possible to retain her belt, thus putting over Meiko tremendously. Aja, enraged by this, managed to beat Meiko nearly to death on one show that horrified even her stable-mates, as she demanded Meiko get up again and again and eat more Urakens, finally allowing her to be pinned after 2-3 minutes of uncomfortable torture. And now Meiko’s even more experienced and gets another shot. Meiko’s also got a new look- her normal red outfit now has orange & yellow faded in. Aja, too, has new gear, I think popping the crowd when it’s revealed- it’s basically her normal style, but in white with red linework instead of black, and black fire on individual “sections”.

Naturally, they start with a super-dramatic lockup, Aja slowwwwllly powering her over to the corner, where she gives Meiko a nasty chop, but gets overconfident and charges into an elbow. Meiko does the same and gets swatted off the top rope, then gets suplexed onto it (after popping the crowd by teasing that she might be suplexing AJA over the top). Interesting how the early story of the match is “Aja is having to work to power Meiko around” when the last match was just “Aja easily powers Meiko around”- what is this “storytelling” and “progression” nonsense? Again, Aja charges into the corner and a hung-up Meiko swings out with a kick, then eats a backdrop driver and HANGS ON, keeping a headlock locked in so Aja can’t capitalize. Aja is now having to work for every single step of ground. Another one has the same result, and Meiko counters a third! Meiko keeps sticking and moving, periodically stymying Aja with strikes, hitting a flying elbow smash for two. Aja finally stuffs her a bit and THERE WE GO- Meiko tries for the Pele Kick but Aja has it scouted and immediately crushes her with a neck-focused Backdrop Driver for two. Meiko tries her “flash arm submission” trick but Aja also has that scouted, then wins a kickfest as she’s taking the lead… but whiffs a high kick and a Bridging German gets two! Meiko gets caught up top again but this time shoves Aja off and hits another elbow, but Aja bursts up and lariats her! Aja waits her out and hits another for two- she’s entered Methodical Aja Mode now! Meiko’s still fighty, but ends up buckle bombed, but Aja again gets cocky and tries her flying back elbow and Meiko’s ready for it- armbar! Aja is desperately fighting and barely makes the ropes when Meiko switches to a jujigatame.

Meiko can’t get her DVD, but manages to duck some punches and sleepers Aja, who flips her out and gets her own to rest and put some fight out of her. But Meiko fights up- Pele Kick! DVD- two! Fittingly she went right for the kill once she hit her big move from last match. But it’s not enough gun- Aja’s not out, and turns another few attempts into her Brainbuster for two. Meiko keeps firing with strikes but can’t get anywhere, and Aja brings in her oil can… but it’s sweep-kicked away! She goes for the Uraken- JUJIGATAME, MOTHERFUCKER! Meiko has her number! Aja struggles for half a minute before breaking, and is weak enough to get DVD’d for two again. But Meiko is running out of shots, as illustrated by being unable to lift Aja off the mat right- Aja springs to life and Germans her, but Meiko fires up with the GAEA No-Sell… and charges into an Uraken for two! Okay it hit chest-high, but still it’s a double-down! Meiko collapses before another can hit and almost gets pinned again, then ducks another and hits another Pele Kick, leaving Aja staggering around the ring until she pops off another Uraken for two. Aja tries to swipe the DVD, ends up in a hold while Meiko’s in mid-air, and they each try their big strikes, doing another as the Pele Kick intercepts the Uraken (they needed a second try to hit flush, haha). Aja’s big weapon is hurt, and she can barely knock Meiko away with it before popping another for two. Aja takes the gloves off for the Super Mega Uraken, and that MDK gets the pin at (15:21). Aja retains her belt, and stares daggers at Meiko the entire time, just full of resentment.

I remain in awe of Aja Kong. When I first started these columns, I had her, Hokuto & Toyota tied for “the best”. But as the years go by she keeps proving she’s far superior to either- both flamed out earlier and got worse as the ’90s rolled on, while Aja is using the role of Superior Veteran to tell giant stories through the matches- here, she lets the audience know that Meiko has vastly, VASTLY improved from last year’s match by virtue of having to fight for every little inch of ground, prove unable to hit her usual spots without being countered to actual nearfalls, and she can’t even enter “Methodical Aja Weardown Mode” without the little shit doing something crazy and stunning her. So not only is the match great, but the audience understands that “Meiko Is Ready”. Which is the POINT a big-time veteran should be getting across. Like, Meiko comes off here like a tactical genius, able to anticipate every single Aja move and nearly score the upset win every single time Aja goes for a big move. Only Aja’s raw durability and power is keeping her alive. And so this crowd, the biggest GAEA has ever drawn, now sees this red-clad 5th-year come in and fight the most credible veteran there is to a 50/50 tactical battle and kick out of multiple Urakens, looking like she’s ready to take the reins for good. Only drawback I see is that the end just turns into “keep Urakening her” (which, to be fair, shows that the “repeated urakens and demands she get up” is not so easy in solo matches) and is more spammy than the intricate story they were building beforehand- I’d have liked Aja’s kicked had to now be a weak point to maybe score a nearfall, or Meiko to really look like she actually might have won in the final minutes, but instead Aja just recovers and kills her anyways.

Rating: **** (one of GAEA’s best singles matches)

A long interview with Chigusa Nagayo & Lioness Asuka, shortly before the CRUSH 2000 reunion properly starts off.

This is a full video showing the dramatic struggle to get here- Lioness Asuka shows up in GAEA and shockingly refuses Chigusa’s handshake and sides with the evil heel stable (two Top Heel Stables in GAEA ago!). Asuka throws fire in Chigusa’s face to become the booker of GAEA, humiliating her former friend. The rematch sees Chigusa turn it around on her and order is restored. By 1999’s end, Lioness chooses to DEFEND Chigusa from the new Evil Heel Stable, and they do the CRUSH GALS PUNCH, popping the crowd! And now they’re uncomfortable allies and, at this point, stand against the new Evil Heel Stable.

CRUSH 2000 (Chigusa Nagayo & Lioness Asuka) vs. HIMIKO (Devil Masami & Akira Hokuto):
* uh, yeah, that’ll do nicely for a main event. The reunion of the biggest stars in women’s wrestling history against one of the top joshi wrestlers of the 1980s and one of the top of the 1990s. Crowd basically goes into full hysterics when CRUSH 2000 comes down to their 1980 theme song remix, and do the CRUSH POINT! Like there are women in the crowd who’ve clearly been waiting ten years to see this again and respond as such. CRUSH are in matching black leather bodysuits with red (Chigusa) & blue (Asuka) tinge, Devil’s in black & gold, and Hokuto’s in red & white.

A massive old-school “Chi-Gu-Sa!” chant breaks out to Devil’s amusement/annoyance, Chigusa egging it on, and some dramatic lockups see the heels try to cheat, but Chigusa ignores a chairshot and they attempt the Crush Punch~~, but the heels brutally stop it to disappoint the fans. I’ve a notion we’ll see that again. Devil in fact eats the Sandwich Lariat (another Crush spot), but she & Asuka start shrugging each other’s lariats off and the heels cheat again. Flying chairshot to Asuka! They spend ages blading her, then taunt the fans and yup- it’s a Crush match alright. Chigusa stops a double team but just takes the giant metal pipe to the head instead and now it’s double juice as everyone wanders around biting cuts and throwing punches. Yeah I was expecting smoke & mirrors. Lioness takes an assisted powerbomb & Chigusa a pipe/powerbomb combo, then both get hung over the ropes and eat ax kicks and a double-ramp charge, Lioness doing a great “I’m fucked up” one-eyed sell. Hokuto does an insane rocket launcher off Devil’s shoulders while she’s sitting on the top rope, getting two. Thank goodness but Gals caught her. Hokuto immediately goes for the Northern Lights Bomb, but has to settle for a piledriver, still getting a dramatic two, then throws on Stranglehold Gamma. Lioness writhes around in Hokuto’s husband’s finisher on the mat while Chigusa gets tossed about the ramp, but Devil charges down it and nails her partner! Chigusa nails Devil and we have the Double Scorpion Deathlock spot! And they release and do the Crush Punch to Hokuto! Backdrop/Flying Back Elbow gets two

Lioness hits her Ligerbomb on Hokuto for two, then Chigusa hits the Running Razor’s Edge- Devil tosses Asuka onto them. Devil uses the pipe to come back, and Chigusa rolls into the perfect spot to take her flying senton. Chigusa’s comeback is stopped when Asuka accidentally flies into her, and Devil hits a Sit-Out Tombstone (!) for two. Chigusa stops a double-team by superplexing Hokuto and DVDs Devil for two. Devil, exhausted, pummels Asuka down for two when Hokuto cheats to help. But Chigusa helps Asuka hit her rolling kick and she hits the Towerhacker Bomb on Devil, Hokuto getting a dramatic assist by pulling Asuka’s hair back just before the “3”. Devil breaks free of Asuka and Hokuto hits the Northern Lights Bomb- Chigusa saves! Hokuto tries another but this time Chigusa flings her off and does the most dramatic tag-in ever, roaring in with a wheel kick, except she’s not hurt just as the crowd chants “Chi-Gu-Sa!” on cue. Hokuto’s like “That’s IT!” like a total pro as they hit a Double Northern Lights Bomb, but Asuka saves- Chigusa lies dead while they dust off Asuka with a double-brainbuster, but they spend all this time jawing with the fans and clapping so the Gals recover, nail them both with DVDs, and finish Hokuto with a Powerbomb/Flying Neckbreaker combo at (20:27). CRUSH 2000 wins!

haha this was the most smoke & mirrors-y match ever, hiding Hokuto & especially Devil’s broken bodies behind “walk around, bite & punch” stuff, starting the cheating within a minute of the bell ringing and doing 10 straight minutes of this kinda stuff, interspersed with the Crush Signature Spots the audience was begging for, cleverly teasing one then putting the other two ten minutes apart, and THEN doing the first one. A lot of wrestling matches struggle with the “long feeling-out process into the Serious Stuff” final portion of the match, and this one essentially cheats by doing an aimless padded brawl for ten minutes to get to that point, and then it’s almost all Dramatic Kickouts. Kind of a half-assed way to work into a finish, though- Chigusa is arbitrarily hurt after doing a move, Crush eats double-teams, but the heels just celebrate too long to lead to a final comeback and a double-team for the win.

Rating: *** (essentially 10 minutes of mindless “brawl & bleed” and then Dramatic Kickouts, but interspersed with perfectly-timed feel-good spots and lots of partner assistance to not kill any finishers and still keep it PRETTY fun)

So how’s THAT for a big show? Your newest rookie gets her only big win, a good tag match with a super finish, a 30-minute Ozaki clusterfuck brawl, a **** World Title match, and the friggin’ CRUSH GALS REUNION as they take on two of the top women’s stars in history. It had some flaws, but I’d say the fans got what they paid for.