WWF SuperTape, Vol. 2 (all Dream Matches!)

WWF SUPERTAPE, Vol. 2:
* Hey everyone! I found a new tape to look up! With the Rockers! Akeem vs. Hercules! “Macho King” Randy Savage defends his crown against the former king “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan! The Rockers vs. The Powers of Pain, and then Greg Valentine & Dino Bravo! Bret Hart vs. Rick Martel! Demolition vs. The Orient Express! Akeem vs. Hercules! Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect & The Genius! And Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Ravishing Rick Rude in a Steel Cage match! And HOLY SHIT the risks Rude takes in this one!

Sean Mooney narrates this tape, with the theme WAY too loud while he’s still talking. He proclaims that the cage match “ranks as one of the greatest moments in the WWF… and is not for the faint of heart”. Uh, okay. A booming voice repeats “SUPERTAPE!” in a recurring unfunny gag.

KING OF THE WWF MATCH:
“MACHO KING” RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Sensational Queen Sherri) vs. “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN:
* The Macho King, appearing during his post-Hogan era having taken Duggan’s crown, actually defends it here. Duggan is already in the ring by the time the tape starts. Savage comes out with gold regalia over his “all the neon colors” long tights, causing Duggan to do the “this ain’t NOTHING!” hand-sweep- I always love the four jobbers forced to carry him down and place the throne over the ring apron and guardrail. Duggan is hilariously taken aback by Savage’s “point, then thumbs down” gesture, and responds by hitting the floor and whipping the whole throne over! Thank goodness Savage is a good bumper, because he expertly hits his feet and puts his arm on the apron to guide his landing.

Savage is great all crawling around in pain, but in the ring he catches Duggan with a kick and clotheslines him- Duggan comes back with his own and whups his ass until Sherri hits the apron. Savage uses the distraction to waffle him, and here’s the flying axehandle to the floor! Running knee into the post! The flying axehandle in the ring gets two and Savage goes right to garroting him on the top rope, going through all his “late game” offense (a sign this is gonna end in a screwjob), but after some choking he misses a leap into the ropes and eats a soupbone right and backdrop to the floor. Sherri distracts everyone to avoid a count-out and Hacksaw tries to CLOTHESLINE her, causing her to duck and Savage to eat it, haha. Sherri goes NUTS at this, hauling the ref off the ring apron and buying as much time as possible, and when Duggan hits a slam & leaping knee, Sherri distracts the count. Duggan’s look of annoyance and the ref’s response is great. Savage gets battered around the ring, but then we’re clipped (wtf) to a beaten Duggan punching Savage as he flies off the top for a double-down. Sherri slips Savage her loaded purse and Duggan gets KO’d! But Savage takes so long recovering that Duggan’s still able to kick out! Duggan gets up dazed, and counters Savage with the most “Jim Duggan”-like inside cradle ever, and murders him with the atomic drop/clothesline out of the corner and clothesline series, setting up the Three-Point Stance! Savage hits the floor off that, but then they do the “grab the leg” finish, Sherri snagging Duggan’s leg so Savage lands on him, and Sherri holds it down for the three (8:50 shown)- Savage steals one! But Duggan sends the fans home happy by whipping Savage into the ring and walloping him with the 2×4 for the best reaction of the whole thing. Wrestling 101.

A very “Savage vs. Duggan” kind of match, with Savage’s precision offense and Duggan’s credible-looking simpleton offense merging together, both guys actually doing really well selling (Savage looking like he’s dying and bouncing around big-time, while Duggan looks dazed and stunned… sometimes while selling, too!). A good match with a good ending, Sherri proving her worth again and again, saving Macho from count-outs and pinfalls alike and halting Duggan’s momentum. An actual pinfall loss for Duggan is rare, too- even by cheating, it means something. Duggan at least gets his heat back at the end, eating an unfair loss but humiliating the heel.

Rating: *** (it’s pretty hard for a guy with Duggan’s offense to have a bad match with Savage)

Time for a spotlight on the Rockers! They give a generic promo about how now it’s their time and how they’re a great team! Surely they’ll air two victories in a row to thus showcase them!

THE ROCKERS (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) vs. THE POWERS OF PAIN (The Barbarian & The Warlord, w/ Mr. Fuji):
* Monsoon says both “cunningness” and “bohemoths” before the match begins, as the purple-clad Rockers take on the big heels in MSG. Commentary is Monsoon and Hillbilly Jim (it took me like 3 matches to realize this, as they almost never use his name and I forgot he did commentary).

Shawn obviously goes nowhere with Barbarian to start, but whispers to Marty and quickly gets caught in a cross-body attempt, signalling Marty to come off and push them over! haha why is the ref counting that as a pin- Marty’s piled on top of Shawn! They trade off on Barbarian’s arm but get smashed together, but duck his clotheslines and it’s stereo superkicks for both! All out here EXPOSING THE BUSINESS with these obvious thigh-slaps! But it’s double lariats for both PoP guys and the fans go BANANA while the Rockers pump their fists in celebration! Warlord catches Shawn and pounds away, but misses a blind tag and Marty aids Shawn in a big rana! But Marty just stands there all stunned and takes a shot- tag to Shawn sees Warlord dropkicked over but Marty just stays in the ring (do your job, Hebner!) and Warlord hits an honest to god FALLING POWERBOMB to counter Marty’s rana attempt! Because it’s 1990, that’s cause for “standing there and flexing instead of trying for a pin”, then Marty takes a HUGE bump off a back body drop and then goes thrown into the fucking sun off the Eddie Bump. Hahaha holy shitsnacks- Shawn has to save on that one.

Jim is playing commentary pretty well, actually- pointing out little things like how PoP can cheat because the ref can’t see around their sheer mass. So the PoP fight dirty and Marty takes the mother of all whips into the corner (Barbarian stopping him halfway across the ring to PROPEL him the other way, Marty bouncing off like a shot) then gets booted over the top rope. Shawn distracts the ref, allowing Fuji to smash Marty’s back with the cane, Barbarian hammering him back-first into the post for good measure. Marty takes his patented bump out of a clothesline while Shawn goes nuts on the apron, yet is able to kick out. He fires back but gets his ass beat by both dudes- he fires away out of a bearhug but flies into a powerslam! Marty appears donezo, but manages to avoid a 2nd-rope elbow and rolls out to tag Shawn! Shawn peppers both Powers with speed and Marty adds a clothesline to haul down Warlord (who isn’t legal) for two! Another cross-body/dropkick gets two, Barbarian elbowdropping his partner by mistake, but on a double-whip Marty gets bounced off Barbarian and flies off, leaving Fuji to trip up Shawn! And thus the Post-Cheating Elbowdrop hits (Shawn lifting himself off the mat beautifully to eat the move and make it look more devastating) and Shawn is pinned at (9:57). Shawn immediately dropkicks Fuji to the floor, but the Powers just bullrush both guys and beat the shit out of them- Marty takes a pounding AND a flying clothesline, and we’re out. Oof- harsh job for the Rockers here- losing AND getting beaten up. Shawn sees the heels off with a chair but still.

Holy shit, what a tour de force by the Rockers. Tons of precision double-teaming to start, then Marty showing off all his best bumping by FLYING around for these two monsters. Constant motion and quick tags by both sides so the match is always moving, a great hot tag with MORE double-teams, but finally Fuji just shows his purpose and cheats so they can win. It’s funny how after cheating, an elbowdrop is always able to score pins- one of the low-key S-tier finishes of the era. Tag wrestling done this way can be great- I like how they didn’t do an extended formula with lots of false tags- just used Shawn’s aggression to cover for some double-teams and a bit of a protracted beatdown. I got the impression from this match that the Rockers were fighting for a PUSH- like going all-out and bumping like maniacs and making their opponents look good so they’d be seen favorably for a bigger spot. Or they’re trying to make up for some fuckup at a party, haha. Also what’s with Hebner constantly forgetting who was the legal man? He not trying to mess up the match flow or something?

Rating: ***1/2 (one of the better examples of this style of match, and one of the best PoP matches- the fans loved it, too)

THE ROCKERS (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) vs. DINO BRAVO & GREG “THE HAMMER” VALENTINE (w/ Jimmy Hart):
* The Rockers get another shot on this tape, promising that “it doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down; it’s how many times you get back up” in their stumbly, kinda-excited sort of way. They’re in black tights against the baby blue connection, as the “Dream Team II” thing is kinda sticking around.

Marty of course matches power with Bravo to start, getting flung around like only the Rockers can bump, but blind-tags Shawn so Bravo gets double-teamed repeatedly and the heels get dropped to the floor and have to hug it out for moral support (lol I miss that shit). Shawn starts getting his ass kicked, but Valentine hits the post and Shawn works the arm. Hammer goes to Marty’s eyes to counter, Marty gets a bit of offense on Bravo (you can tell Marty is REALLY good because Bravo seems perfectly competent). Hammer hits a big suplex and an abdominal stretch.

agh, he actually hooks the foot around the calf muscle and Monsoon isn’t here to commentate it!

Shawn gets provoked so Marty takes more punishment, Bravo gutwrench suplexing him and Valentine hammering him after Marty avoids the figure-four (I love how he just drops a vicious elbow and holds there for a pinning combination). A false tag spot actually has the fans going crazy on-camera (man, watching so much post-1991 Saturday morning stuff I forgot what excited WWF crowds look like). Marty does the “fired-up punches but gets swallowed up” spot again, but this time dodges an elbowdrop and FLINGS himself off the bottom rope so he can roll over and tag Shawn! What a hot tag, holy buckets. Shawn batters everyone, counters Bravo’s wild swings with a suplex, and then Valentine AND Jimmy Hart eat shit to the floor off dropkicks- double dropkick for Bravo! Double Flying Fistdrop! But Valentine breaks up the pin, leading to a Shawn/Bravo collision. Valentine puts Bravo on top, but Marty flies in to break that up. He gets the hot tag and promptly tries an O’Connor roll, but the incompetent ref is distracted by a Shawn/Hammer fight and Greg uses the opening to NAIL Marty with a clothesline (huge bump by Jannetty, flinging himself back) and Bravo steals one at (11:37). lmao they had the Rockers job TWICE on their own feature!? Were they showing up to work hung over too much or what? But WAIT! Troubleshooting “forced to referee bcuz of some angle” Ronnie Garvin is out to contest this, tells Hebner about what Valentine did, and that’s enough to reverse the decision! For the first time in wrestling history, a referee goes off of the honor system and the babyfaces win!

This was a nice little “Tag Team Formula” match. Bravo was clunky but inoffensive here, as the Rockers are good enough to just fly around off of anything he does, and Valentine was his usual solid self, hitting some GREAT looking strikes and feeding comebacks really well. Marty in particular was great taking bumps off of every little thing. God damn that Marty tag, though- I love how he was just face down, totally dead in prayer position… then BAM!- springs to life like he just got a shot of adrenaline. But was so fucked up he could only roll, hold himself up, using the ropes, etc., ending up in the neutral corner, then WHOOSH- leaps off and does a barrel roll across the ring to tag in Shawn. Great ring positioning and timing there. The more wrestling I watch, the more the little things like a good hot tag impress me, haha.

Rating: *** (classic tag formula with great bumping, one great heel and one credible one)

THE MIGHTY HERCULES vs. AKEEM, THE AFRICAN DREAM (w/ The Doctor of Style, Slick):
* One of those cute fan recruits, Laura Kalani of Waialu, Hawaii wanting to see her favorite Hercules take on Akeem, because she doesn’t like how the latter dances in the ring. I love how these random “fan requests” are the most random bullshit- it’s Dream Matches paradise. Hercules promises to win it for Laura! This one has Tony Schiavone & Alfred Hayes on commentary.

Akeem goes to the eyes right away, but spends too much time jiving and gets his ass kicked, taking a goofy cartoon bump to the floor. Hercules takes a pot-shot at Slick during a tete-a-tete with Akeem and Slick decides it’s FIGHTING TIME and Akeem has to drag him away from the ring apron. lol I love Slick just slamming his jacket down like he’s about to whup some ass. Schiavone corectly points out that all these “antics” have ruined Herc’s momentum, but he still manages to catch Akeem jiving and slugs away. Herc can’t get the slam and Akeem pounds away, Slick grabbing a rope and choking Herc with it. Akeem tries again, but Bret Harts into the corner and gets bounced around, doing a goofy sell where he repeatedly slams his own head into the turnbuckles after Herc has stopped, then “jives” across the ring to take more punches. Herc brings him down with a kneelift and some clotheslines (lol why are you “bump & feeding” with this huge fat guy? Akeem is clearly having trouble getting up in time and it’s making Hercules have to awkwardly stop mid-run), but Slick pulls down the top rope and Hercules hits the floor for the Disqualification at (5:01). Too bad, Laura- you get a Fuck Finish! Akeem pounces after the bell, but Hercules dodges Air Africa and hits him with a big delayed bodyslam and swings his chain around to get his heat back.

Rating: * (This was an “easy night out” for both guys, just doing the “Kick and Punch” thing until the DQ finish, Akeem taking a few big bumps in succession at the end and that’s it)

As I marvel at Warlord’s earlier powerbomb, forgetting that Sato was doing this one regularly.

Lord Alfred does a “Commentary” section on the Orient Express, freeze-framing their moves and explaining what they are. Including Crescent Kick, Knuckle Blow (… just a punch to the head), Jump Karate Kick (aka a standard jumping kick to the head), and then answers my question about powerbombs via Akio Sato’s “Power Bomb” (his sit-out powerbomb).

DEMOLITION (Ax & Smash) vs. THE ORIENT EXPRESS (Sato & Tanaka):
* Demolition still isn’t done with “Fuj the Stooge”! This is the lamer version of the Orient Express, with Akio Sato using basic “karate chop” Evil Foreigner stuff and few double-teams like the later incarnation of the team would use. Smash’s hairline is now DECIDEDLY receding, but still promises to kick “Your stinkin’ teeth in!” (he even later calls attention to a fan woth that catchphrase on his sign) while Ax shills how great Coliseum Video is. This is said to be two weeks before Demolition face the Tag Champions Andre & Haku at WrestleMania VII, with the Orients facing the Rockers.

Smash starts with Tanaka, who looks absolutely PUNY in there next to him, establishing some power spots, then Tanaka keeps dodging but walking right into a follow-up, and gets put up top for the patented Demolition corner beatdown. Sato fares little better against Ax as Lord Alfred talks about “the inscrutable face of the East” on Fuji, but Tanaka hits a knee from the apron and they beat Ax down. But Tanaka foolishly tries strikes in the corner and gets murdered for it, teetering back off of Smash’s boot. Smash gets a hip-breaker and works a hold, then Demolition gets a double-backdrop- Tanaka eyepokes out, but Smash recovers from an armada of chops and starts beating ass with Jumping Demolition Axehandles! Man, this is ALL Demolition at this point- Monsoon even comments on the poor strategy by Fuji. But Tanaka flies off the top while the ref is distracted and now Fuji’s plan goes to work- Smash gets bashed & jabbed with the cane and goes down. More generic choppery by the Orients as Hayes points out how lethal Japanese are, as England learned in “a couple of World Wars- how resourceful they are. They are DEVILS”. Tanaka prevents a Smash power comeback- Smash still shows defiance with a huge kickout after a throat-thrust, then makes the tag after kicking Tanaka. Ax gets to beat down both Orients, but a weak powerslam (released too early- Monsoon says “didn’t execute it 100%” because he ALWAYS calls that out- “otherwise it would have been over”), but Sato flies in to stop the pin- Smash takes care of him and they prep Demolition Decapitation, but Fuji canes Ax in the leg and gets chased outside, allowing Ax to grab the cane and NOW the crowd is excited. But Sato comes in with EVIL JAPANESE SALT (those DEVILS!), and Demolition gets Counted Out at (10:58).

Standard Demolition match, here- **-ish, dominated by power-brawling, and nothing extraordinary without excellent competition- the Orient Express were just Not It by this point, having only “devious cheating” and weak chops and kicks in their arsenal rather than the double-teams Tanaka & Kato could do. You could see it with the weak attacks on Smash and the dead reaction for the hot tag to Ax, which was an uninventive spot (a simple whip-reversal is all it takes? No big fight to the ropes?). The ending is mostly fine- Demolition has things in hand by the devious strategies of Fuji pay off for his team and they sneak a win by Count-Out.

Rating: ** (pretty basic, ordinary match- Demolition had to carry the day against two guys who were left relying only on chops)

holy shit the “1990” in this picture is STRONG. Shitty bootleg Nintendo merchandise and FOUR NEON ARMBANDS.

RICK “THE MODEL” MARTEL vs. BRET “HIT MAN” HART:
* An interesting match, openly called out beforehand as the Good Workers match, though Mooney describes as “the two most COMPLETE ATHLETES” (translation: GOOD WORKERS). Both guys had feuded on tag teams years before, but now Martel was in the midst of his singles push, while Bret’s was kinda off-and-on based off of how employable Jim Neidhart was at any given moment.

Martel catches Bret with a knee and already the Hitman’s selling is terrific, crumpling in pain, then he Bret Harts into the corner but SPRINGS out with a clothesline that catches Martel 0.01 seconds after he turns around from his showboating. Holy SHIT Bret either came at him too fast or they’re so good they timed that dead-on. Monsoon drops both “occipital protuberance” and “negative attitude” in succession as Martel whines, then goes over how great their conditioning and tactics are (SEE? Monsoon puts over the guys who deserve it!), then he & Hayes start fawning over how HANDSOME both men are (Hayes saying Bret’s is more “rugged handsomeness” and he’s “not a truly good-looking fellow” before the match revs up again). Bret works the arm and they all mark out for his technique, but Martel keeps going for the hair and whips Bret out in a “great leverage move”. Martel showboats and works the back repeatedly (smashing Bret’s back into the ring apron and axehandling him off it).

Hillbilly marvels at Rick’s ability to do calisthenics BETWEEN moves, while Hayes puts over how it’s “Demoralizing” to his opposition since he shows that even their best shots can’t hamper him. Martel slowly pounds away at the back and hits an abdominal stretch, critiqued by Monsoon AND Hillbilly (see?), but Martel keeps grabbing the ropes till the ref catches him and kicks his hand off (“not his job to do that” chides Monsoon). Martel tries mounted punches but Bret catches him in an inverted atomic drop and HOLY SHIT Martel sells the crap out of that, doing the “NOOOO!!! NOOOOO!!!” head shakes and tosses, then hits the ground and bolts up just to spin around again. Bret nails the best vertical suplex ever and drops his elbow. Slam & Bret Elbow for two, then a side-Russian legsweep as every commentator is losing it for how good Bret’s moves are, and Martel tries to wuss out but gets backbreakered, barely kicking out and getting flung around outside via an atomic drop, but the two brawl on the floor until the Time Limit Expires at (11:51). Bret clearly shouts “BULLSHIT!” and argues with the timekeeper, but Martle pounces from behind and smacks him around until Bret sees him off with a clothesline.

Tremendous “technical” match- slow in the middle and with a weak ending, but a top-tier display of just how good both guys were. Bret’s more realistic selling and Martel’s exaggerated heelish “NOOOOOOOOOO!” head-shakes combined with perfect move execution that had all three commentators marking out (including hard-to-please Monsoon and technical mastermind Hillbilly Jim). Once Bret gets going, his shit looks better than just about anyone’s. Though it’s funny watching him do the Moves of Doom and then hold Rick’s legs up… then settle for a stomp to the stomach. Like he KNOWS there’s supposed to be a bigger move there but none has entered his mind just yet.

Rating: **3/4 (good, fun match with a slow middle portion as Rick mostly messes about, but at least he had some focus on Bret’s back)

STEEL CAGE MATCH:
ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. RAVISHING RICK RUDE (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan):
* I don’t remember their issue, but it’s a big one- Roddy was in and out of active competition around this time. Unusually, this MSG cage match ALSO allows pinfalls.

Rude starts on Piper as soon as he hits the ring, but takes an unusual bump by FLYING over the top off a whip so he can bounce off the cage. Haha you won’t see THAT without a cage blocking his fall! Piper whips him like a dog, punches him with the belt, then bites his face. Piper just gobbles Rude up alive out there, Rude generously flinging around and going into the cage, bleeding from the forehead. Both guys get mooned climbing the cage, but Piper gets crotched on his way down- amazing sell-job, just retching and writhing in agony. Rude works the balls with a knee (PSYCHOLOGY!) and goes for the door, Piper holding his boot even as Heenan tries to pull his man out. Piper is GREAT just scampering to find a foothold and looking like he’s trying SO HARD to yank Rude back in, and we get a censor over Rude’s exposed butt from all that grabbing, but Rude surprises him with a Rude Awakening (snap neckbreaker). Rude’s too beat to make it to the door, but Piper flings himself over him (Monsoon has to point out the Rude Awakening didn’t hit perfectly because of the state of Rude), and they collide in the ring for another double-down.

Holy JESUS- Rude, after 8 minutes of sweaty wrestling, swinging himself BACKWARDS over the top of the cage, holding on just by his hands.

Then they both climb the same side of the cage, throw right hands at the top, then bash each other into it mid-level so they can perfectly time both dropping to the floor at once. The Fink announces that the match MUST continue, and Rude immediately grabs a chair on the floor (no DQ!) and clobbers Piper with it. In a big, showy moment, Rude climbs to the top of the cage and comes off with a Flying Fistdrop! Haha that almost looked like the “flying nothing” guys do when they land on a boot. Piper sells it so much he starts making horse noises, convulsing and pushing himself around the mat. For two! A fading Rude hits a big piledriver and climbs… but not to escape! He wants another top-cage move! But Piper shakes the cage so Rude crotches himself, then Piper puts him OVER the top with a punch and SWEET FUCKING CHRIST Rude is hanging on only by his hands BACKWARDS and upside-down after 8 minutes of sweaty wrestling! That’s absolutely horrifying. Then Piper keeps smacking his hands so Rude is hanging by his knees, but when Piper heads for the door Heenan closes the cage on his head. Rude gets two off that, but Roddy’s comeback is stopped with a backdrop suplex. Heenan goes into his pocket as theatrically as possible (so the cheap seats can see!) and hands Rude brass knuckles! But Piper catches Rude with a right hand, is like “oh, neat” when he sees the knux, and KOs Rude with them! Out the door- Piper wins at (12:56)!

Okay this was AWESOME- Rude in full oversell mode, then PIPER hits full oversell mode, and both are able to realistically sell like ten minutes has passed after only 4 because both are hitting each other with huge moves and cage spots. This makes it look like an exhausting brawl where both are in a contest to out-sell the other, Piper at his cocainey best making bizarre noises and convulsing around the ring. Then Rude takes two absolutely horrifying risks (flying off the cage like that is just asking for a knee injury, never mind propelling yourself BACKWARDS using only your sweaty hands to grasp the top of the cage- Rude’s grip strengthis very real), bounces Piper around some more, then Heenan fights dirty to keep his man in the game, then it backfires. Great ending, as the heels cheat one too many times and Piper re-cheats because he’s a crafty little bugger that way, allowing Rude to lose without losing too much face.

Rating: ***3/4 (tremendous showcase of goofy overselling and huge bumping- Rude is in SHAPE)

Bloopers! Mostly guys obviously pretending to fall over, Brother Love raging at Monsoon dressing as him during Halloween, and Heenan & Monsoon doing their goofy antics on a yacht and at Busch Gardens. Mostly just Heenan pratfalling (a movie set has him falling through a window via a chair to the gut), but Monsoon is clearly cracking up falling around the deck of the yacht.

HULK HOGAN & BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE vs. MR. PERFECT & THE GENIUS:
* A big final bout for this tape sees the culmination of the Hogan/Perfect feud. One that got hyped a lot by online fans back in the ’90s, but didn’t actually draw that much money (one of the signs the Hogan Era was fading out… or decrying Perfect as a draw). Perfect’s in orange, Genius is in blue, and Beefcake is now in Hogan Yellow. The heels jump the babyfaces as soon as they hit the ring, but quickly get whipped over the top. Genius has a near-skullet after a run-in with Beefcake during a singles match before this.

Hogan throws Perfect to start the match, but Perfect comes back with a PUNCH COMBO and Hogan’s struggling to get anything going until Hogan launches him over the top with a big boot, then tags in Beefcake (Heenan: “Here’s Bruti’s favorite- from behind!”) as they tee off on both guys repeatedly. High knee from Beefcake as Perfect is spiralling off of every single shot, then goes over the top from a Hogan elbow. Perfect has to use the Genius’s metal scroll to WALLOP Hogan, putting him down. The Genius takes over with wimpy offense, making sure to flutter his arms and do his “tiptoe” walk to emphasize he’s doing a “Gay Gimmick”, but he does his moonsault off the second rope and hits knees- Beefcake gets the hot tag and the fans are KINDA cheering but nowhere near what you’d expect for a Hogan feud. Perfect ends up in the Sleeperhold, but Genius uses a distraction to nail him with the scroll off the second rope- Genius flutters all the way to the back while Beefcake nearly gets pinned, Hogan desperately saving. Beefacke is working pretty hard doing his head-lolling “I’m dying” sell, knowing to head to the wrong corner for tags and flail his arm on sells, but he’s just very… aggressively mediocre as a wrestler so it’s not the best.

The heels just kinda fuck around for a while as the crowd is pretty quiet (even as Hogan knows to act as a corner-man, yelling to the fans and getting provoked by the heels), but Perfect finally calls the comeback spot and puts his head down early, again spiralling across the ring off a kick. But the ref misses the tag and so BLOCKS Hogan’s punch and makes him leave the ring! More weakling heel offense (ugh, Genius’s “choking”) but Hennig starts slapping Bruti around and whacks him with a clothesline to the forehead (did he tater him or was it supposed to look like that?). Perfect Plex- Hogan saves! Hebner loses it on him but he indeed makes the hot tag, knocks Perfect over the top, and beats up Genius while he makes impotent “kitty scratch” gestures at him, Beefcake takes care of Perfect, and Hogan hits the Big Boot & Legdrop for the three at (15:29). Hebner tries to stop the post-match Sleeperhold/Haircut so Hogan TOSSES him (Monsoon hilariously points out that the match is over now so it’s fine). Both mimic Poffo’s “sissy” dance and cut his hair

This ended up kind of a weird showcase of the flaws of all four guys: Hogan’s act was getting more tired as the years went by, Beefcake was just not very good no matter how hard he tried so his selling didn’t get the fans into it, Perfect had weak offense and since he propelled himself off of EVERY move no individual sell-job ever stood out, and the Genius was just TOO wimpy a character so he can’t even get heat effectively. One issue might be the length- 16 minutes is a LONG time for even good workers and this one had Hennig, who was always pretty soft on offense- a very good technical wrestler but neither Hogan nor Beefcake could follow him on that front so he had to brawl, stuck carrying the workload since the Genius was a comedy/”sissy” wrestler. Genius being unable or unwilling to bump well or REALLY sell hurt, too- imagine the Honky Tonk Man, who was way less athletic than Poffo but knew how to get fans into his humiliation. Then you have Beefcake just being a totally mid-tier nothing guy (he’s trying but he’s just not any good), and imagine having to fill something like eight minutes of content on HIM- that would challenge even masterful workers like Flair or Bret. They did some “Tag Formula” stuff but even the heelish cheating and false tags were mediocre.

Rating: *1/4 (very poor, overly-long match with weak offense and poor flow)

Sean Mooney signs off, but discovers the voice… it’s the legendary STEVE SABIN, audio-engineer! I… okay. I was expecting like, a WRESTLER or someone not just a regular joe. Low-rent nonsense.

Actually this tape turned out TREMENDOUSLY. At first I was worried I was overrating it due to nostalgia (though I wasn’t watching at this point) but then I dogged a few matches for sucking so I declare my takes to be LEGIT! Piper/Rude was a really good cage match, the Rockers/PoP match was a great tag formula that showed just how good the Rockers really were, Martel/Hart put on a clinic of selling, and Macho/Duggan was a great sprint. Nearly everyone on the tape was used to maximum potential save the main (which was too long and lazy) and a few guys just taking it easy to weak finishes (Herc/Akeem, Demo/Orients).