Phrederic Reviews NOAH

Welcome back to NOAH as I review it after a long-layoff and we have a lot to catch up with. A sizzle video set to Vultures! By Rival Tides (which I swear another wrestling show has used this song) gets us pumping with generic rock music. We got five thousand here in the Budokan and some fairly big names, so let’s get at it!

#1 contendership Rumble

Background: Big pre-show rumble with five announced members and eight mystery members. Winner gets a title shot for any belt of their choosing. It’s Royal Rumble style apparently here but apparently pinfall, submission, and DQ are eliminations too.

The Match: Yu Owada and Harutoki start. Owada is just a rookie with black trunks and Harutoki reps Dotonbori Pro but is part of the top babyface All Rebellion stable and is rocking silver and red to match. Basic stuff to start but Owada gets the backflip out of the corner to show off his athleticism and then Harutoki gets an enzuigiri and they brawl before Shuhei Taniguchi comes out. A big raw-boned veteran, he kinda looks and moves like some sort of monstrous ghoul and has a significant athletic background, including a stint in the military and is in plain black trunks. Shuhei just bodyslams everybody for a while. Next out is Tadasuke, the puckish member of RATEL’S, a pack of rambunctious juniors, he’s in black and purple pants and he tries to eliminate Shuhei with the rest of the guys but they get thrown off. Tadasuke works the leg of Shuhei and Yu as he rocks his spinning toehold. Next up is another RATEL’s member, Yuto Kikuchi, the youngster of the group with gray-purple hair and baggy pants. And there is no stable loyalty as Yuto gets a springboard dropkick on Tadasuke and then a handspring back elbow as he’s just going after everybody for a while, but everybody then teams on big-guy Shuhei again. Next up is LJ Cleary as the first ‘surprise’ of the rumble, the Irishman is of course Lyra Valkyria’s fiance, has glorious curly locks, a hairy chest, yellow tights, and maybe weighs 150 pounds. The former Good Looking Guy member gets a flurry of kicks on Yuto and then dances through the ropes against Harutoki and poses a bit for the crowd. Next up is Masao Inoue, who was old as heck when I first started watching NOAH like 5 years ago and he’s just limping to the ring, oh god. After 7 hours he finally steps into the ring and immediately hides in the corner and shoos everybody away.

Welcome back for the final night of the regular N-1 before we hit finals and such forth. We got 843 in Nagoya and hopefully it’ll be a strong finish to a kinda…okay show.

Manabu Soya & Yu Owada vs. Luis Mante & Shuhei Taniguchi

Background: Soya and Luis’ matches were cancelled due to their opponents being hurt so instead we’re getting them teaming with rising rookie Yu Owada, and weird Frankenstein’s Monster Shuhei Taniguchi. No stakes to this one but they’re on the card.

The Match: Mante and Manabu start and do a lockup to a standstill and then an international but Soya slugs down the Mexican with power but Mante gets a kip-up and a dropkick to get in Shuhei, and Soya brings in Owada…who gets immediately no-sold by Tani. Owada finally gets a reverse springboard crossbody and a dropkick to stun the vet but he can’t get a slam and Shuhei reverses and in comes Mante. Backbreakers and chops keep the DragonGate man in control and they’re not exactly working a million miles a minute here. Luis and Shuhei cycle through more heat on Owada who at least is always bumping around and selling big and doing stumbling mini-comebacks to keep the segment vaguely alive. A dropkick finally loads up the hot tag and Soya runs in with a bulldog on Mante and a big brainbuster. Manabu’s lariat is blocked with a boot though and Luis goes after the arm before bringing in Shu for some doubles and we get Taniguchi slamming everybody onto Soya. Owada takes out Mante though with a low-bridge and Shuhei and Soya slug it out with Manabu getting a jumping clothesline and then a sleeper…and then a dragon sleeper! And that gets the tap.

**¼

We got about 400 people in Sendai here as the N-1 is creeping to a close. Sorry about the delays but y’know, I got a job and I follow other promotions but we’re going to finish strong regardless!

Jack Morris & Super Crazy vs. All Rebellion (Alejandro & Kenoh)

Background: No real heat in particular over Jack and Kenoh having had scuffles in the past, just sort of a “get the N-1 guys on the card even though their regular matches were canceled due to injuries” deal.

The Match: Kenoh and Morris start and they preen and pose (okay mostly Kenoh preens and poses). International and a shoulderblock won by Jack and Morris preens and then we get some rollups and reversals before Kenoh gets a kick and does his own flexing …and Kenoh kinda has some guns going on. Alejandro comes in and also flexes, and then Super Crazy comes in and he…does not flex. Coward. Alejandro flips around a bit while Crazy mugs at the camera in disbelief and then they do a lucha sequence with armdrags and Crazy rolls to the outside but the veteran evades a dive and laughs about it. Jack gets some cheapshots and its back inside where Crazy gets a rolling surfboard Jack in to do some hard whips on Alejandro and do pushups in-between. Super is back in with a whacky lucha submission and Morris is back and man this is a brutal butt whooping on the fake Mexican (yes Alejandro is Japanese but he wears a mask and does lucha). Delayed brainbuster is slipped out of and Alejandro evades the Tiger Driver next and after an enzuigiri brings in Kenoh to kick everybody. We get the slam, knee drop and kick but Jack gets a Falcon Arrow and tunes up the band, Kenoh ducks, gets a German that Morris flips out of, then we get a pele kick and then the Good Looking Knee before a double down loads up a Super Crazy hot-tag who wipes everybody out. But we get a Kenoh anklelock and then it’s all falling apart. Alejandro gets a somersault plancha on Morris and Kenoh isolates on Crazy with a PK and then the Kenoh Special gets the tap.

Welcome back to more Pro Wrestling NOAH action and I swear I’m going to catch up for you all. We’ve got a very intimate crowd of like…400 people here in some small Tokyo convention center, but we got wrestling and we love wrestling so let’s get to it.

Alejandro vs. Junta Miyawaki

Background: No real heat here as this is just junior vs. junior. Alejandro is in the top babyface All Rebellion stable and Junta is debuting darker tights with a graffiti style so maybe he’s a heel now?

The Match: Standing switches and headlock/hammerlock reversals start us out A few gentle takeovers from Junta but both do some legsweeps and quick covers and it’s a stalemate. Dropkick forces Junta to bail but we get the feint dive from Alej and Junta comes back with his own dropkick and a springboard triangle plancha. Junta follows with an armwrench using the ropes and Miyawaki is definitely heeling it up a bit. More armwork in the ropes with Junta even getting a missile dropkick to the arm. More armwork follows until Alejandro finally reverses a whip and gets his feet up and lands a dropkick. Alejandro follows by using the ropes to assist a gamengiri and following with a slingshot splash. A diving clothesline gets a nearfall for Alejandro but the masked man runs into a tilt-a-whirl shoulderbreaker, running corner dropkick follows and Junta goes up and gets a missile dropkick for 2. Miyawaki gets a hammerlock DDT to keep on the arm and a Falcon Arrow keeps Junta on the aggression, kickout by Alejandro and Junta grabs an armbar next before Alejandro makes the ropes. Junta goes back to the arm when they both get up again but Alejandro gets a springboard reverse dropkick to get himself a breather and when Junta bails we finally get that dive. That gets 2 for the masked man, and a frog splash does the same. Muta Lock attempt by Junta is stymied and they fight over a victory roll and then a small package and then a sunset flip. Yoshi-Tonic by Alejandro leads to a back and forth fight over a pinning combo and then Junta finally gets his Muta Lock/Top Wristlock combo but time expires while Alejandro is in it.

Welcome back to more Pro Wrestling NOAH as I try to desperately catch up with the N1. We got 1500 fans in Kawasaki for this one and they seem loud to start so hopefully we got a good one here.

Daga & Kai Fujimura vs. Titus Alexander & Yu Owada

Background: So as Titus has a bye with EHDDWJ’s exit from the tournament, he’s now filling in for some junior action. Daga and Titus are both top players in their own way and Yu and Kai re two rookies fighting for a place on the card.

The Match: Titus offers Daga a handshake and gets brushed off. We start with Daga and Yu and the Mexican just stomps out the youngster but Owada gets some armdrags and counters a pop-up with a dropkick. Titus in with his own dropkick. Daga takes him down with some kicks and a back suplex though and gats in Kai who gets the running flip senton. Second-rope missile dropkick follows but Titus reverses a brainbuster into one of his own and we get Owada tagged in with a double-team elbow drop. Owada gets tripped up by Daga though and dragged outside for a posting and some more abuse. Daga taunts the crowd and gets a snap suplex on Yu before bringing in Kai whose heel mannerisms are significantly less advanced than Daga’s. Owada FINALLY gets a springboard reverse crossbody and in comes Titus with a crossbody onto Daga and then a superkick. Handspring cutter by the American and Titus follows up with a Big Ugly attempt but Daga gets a low kick and a small package and calls in Kai for a double that Yu breaks up and when Daga and Kai bail out Titus follows with a huge dive and drags Daga back for a nearfall. Another Big Ugly attempt is blocked by Daga with Kai’s help but when Fujimura tags in to spam flash pins he eats the half-nelson slam from the American and after Owada takes out Daga Alexander gets the huge knee and a Big Ugly for 3.

**¼

So we’ve lost a few more wrestlers but we got 957 fans in Korakuen Hall, so uh, let’s get to it! Sorry about the delay here but they keep coming out with more wrestling I gotta watch!

Alpha Wolf [2] vs. Ulka Sasaki [2] – B Block Match

Background: Weirdly the youngest man in the match, Alpha Wolf, has about a decade longer in experience than Ulka. Other than that, we have a hybrid lucharesu super athlete in Wolf vs. the MMA crossover submission expert in Ulka. Though Sasaki does like his own big pro wrestling moves (Jackhammer! Stunner!) as well.

Welcome back for some more N1 action as wrestlers are dropping like flies but the action continues onwards!

Junta Miyawaki & Shuhei Taniguchi vs. Kai Fujimura & Kazuyuki Fujita

Background: So Junta is a rookie junior always on the cusp of breaking out, his partner Shuhei is going for the tag-titles. Kai is a rookie of Junta’s generation but was delayed with injuries and is making his return, and Fujita of course is a former champion everywhere but is mostly a midcarder who never gets pinned. Also apparently Junta is Fujita’s daughters favorite wrestler.

So we got 974 in Korakuen Hall for the second night of the N1 and we’re raring to go. Should have some good matches and an exciting degree of matches for us.

Alejandro vs. Junta Miyawaki vs. Ninja Mack

Background: So we got three flippy dudes all flipping around. Alejandro is part of the All Rebellion main-event stable but loses a lot and is in a mask and silver and white. Junta has pink hair and is a young junior who has been on the cusp of breaking out for years now, blue patterned tights complete the deal. Ninja Mack is a white dude in a mask dressed like a ninja, it’s uh…not a complex gimmick.

Hey everyone and welcome to Pro Wrestling NOAH’s big round-robin tournament, the N-1 Victory, it’ll be very exciting and I hope all of you are entertained by the happenings in it. If you missed it, I dropped a big recap of the roster and the show here but since then we’ve had some changes. Go Shiozaki apparently fractured his thoracic vertebrae and had to withdraw, so taking his place is quasi-junior, quasi-heavyweight Atsushi Kotoge, like Go he’s a giant goober babyface so I’m actually not too brokenhearted about this news, but I hope Go heals up well and gets right like I think he can. Anyway, we’re in the Yokohama Budokan with a bit under 1000 people which is actually pretty good for NOAH.

We get a very 90s style opening video with a club theme and every wrestler yelling VICTORY! It’s all pretty silly but still fun throwback.

El Hijo del Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Alpha Wolf – B Block Match

Background: Both of them are luchadores, though obviously EHDDWJ has achieved more success in NOAH. Additionally Hijo recently beat Wolf in a tag-match, so there’s a bit of heat. Alpha Wolf has his leather jacket and a black and red singlet, while EHDDWJ has green, white, and red in tribute to his native Mexico. El Hijo is much more of a traditional lucha wrestler while Wolf is more of a hybrid lucharesu guy. Hijo is bigger/taller, but Wolf is a bit more cut and has tattoos all over his body.

Hey guys, it’s tournament season in Japan and you know what that means, we’re going to be getting some recaps of it, and the big one that I am excited for is of course Pro Wrestling NOAH’s N1 Victory. Yes, it’s clearly a ripoff of the G1 but hey they’re all stealing from the Carnival. Anyway let me break down the philosophy, the roster, the champions, and who is going to be in the tournament.

The Style:

NOAH, befitting its origin as an All Japan splinter federation, still keeps some principles of the King’s Road style (move escalation, i.e. going from holds to strikes to throws to finishes to super finishes to super mega finishes) but given that its founder was ex-junior Mitsuharu Misawa NOAH has embodied more of those principles of Japanese junior wrestling, i.e. strike hard, strike fast, and strike without mercy. NOAH is a physically intense promotion where guys will wallop the living sense out of each other with kicks, forearms, and of course…chops. Additionally while not quite rising to the level of Inokism (err, well okay sometimes rising to that level) the influence of MMA has definitely changed NOAH matches where flash submissions and KOs are part of match ending psychology. Tag matches also have their unique flair, while their junior tag matches still have a heavy emphasis on double-teams and quick tags, the heavyweight tag scene focuses more on mini-singles matches and the psychology is less “what can these two partners do together” but more on optimizing tags to isolate a weakened and vulnerable opponent to defeat them.

Welcome back to the rest of Destination 2024 and this is going to be much spicier as we are starting to get all the fun singles matches on the card, and that’s why it’s super exciting to start with…Akitoshi Saito? D’oh! Oh, and if you want to check out the first part of this review it is right here.

Akitoshi Saito (c) vs. Go Shiozaki – ZERO1 World Heavyweight Championship

Background: So Akitoshi Saito is a perennial midcard presence in NOAH, a lumpen old man with a pompadour and bad tattoos whose unfortunate most notable moment is being the other guy in the ring when Misawa died. Saito now holds the top belt of ZERO1, a mostly defunct promotion whose roots come from Shinya Hashimoto’s splinter promotion back in the early 2000s. Anyway, Saito won the belt and is now being challenged by Go Shiozaki, the former top ace of NOAH who is now finding a place for himself lower down the card, still, Go has regained some of his mojo and is back to the blonde hair and the green and white tights (instead of his horrible dumpy black trunks) so maybe he’s back.

Hey guys, been a while since I’ve done a NOAH show and we have a pretty big one here today as July 13th was apparently some sort of big deal in puro as we got three major shows with title matches and such. We’ve got 4,196 in the Budokan to watch four title matches, some special main-events, and also the de facto sendoff of a major main-event player. Let’s get to it!

Pretty slick video package opens up the show with slick editing and some generic rock music (sounds like a J-Rock version of Foo Fighters). We introduce our commentary team (four people!) and then we run some video packages for the individual matches as fans file into the building.

Hajime Ohara & Super Crazy vs. Junta Miyawaki & Ninja Mack vs. All Rebellion (Alejandro & Cristobal)

Background: So this is just an opening match multiman cluster deal. Super Crazy is the ECW guy, Ohara is a backbreaker savant, Junta is a floppy haired babyface who keeps being on the cusp of elevating himself, Ninja Mack is a flippy American guy and All Rebellion are part of the big babyface stable but these two guys are mostly losers. Don’t expect too much from this one.

So I’m back to finish this big show and I will be very excited to explore this ancient history with you as I am wont to do. And previously on NOAH if you missed it, here’s the first part review here.

Kazushi Sakuraba & Ulka Sasaki vs. Hikaru Sato & Shuhei Taniguchi – GHC Martial Arts Rules

Background: So Sakuraba is a very respected MMA legend who is a very respected pro wrestling goofball and him teaming with Ulka is great cause Ulka does a LOT of Sakuraba mannerisms and moves and is sold as a guy who can tap you out at ANY time.  Saku is an old pale man with MMA shorts and bleached hair and Ulka has cornrows for some unknowable reason but he’s busting out the MMA tights too. Their opponents are forever veteran good-hand Hikaru Sato who does have MMA cred and is a pale guy with a bad haircut and a bad built with blue tights and Shuhei is an ex-amateur guy with a lumbering build and just the look of a guy who wants to play with the rabbits George. GHC Martial Rules have no pinfalls but you win vis KO or count down with 10.

I know that I said I was going to review only contemporary wrestling here, but sometimes the nerve to review nostalgic stuff strikes me, and that’s why I’m going to be reviewing this dusty old NOAH show from the far-off days of May of 2024. Buckle your seatbelts and get prepared to go back in time as we’re about to get old school.

And we start with a pretty rocking video of Pro Wrestling NOAH stars in action and there’s magma and a kicking 90s rock tune. And then we jump to Ryogoku Kokugikan where we have 3500 hundred people and now we have NOSAWA Rongai coming out looking like the creepy dude he is to a pretty jiving Mexican pop song as English commentary introduces themselves. And y’know I crack jokes about NOAH’s booking (deservedly) but their production is really top-notch, probably the best in wrestling and deserves real respect for it. NOSAWA hypes up the crowd and asks if the crowd wants to see him wrestle (please no) but says that even the magic of the fans and the night can’t cure his wounds. Ha, cute bit.

Ninja Mack (c) vs. Shuji Ishikawa – GHC Hardcore Openweight Championship

Background: So Ninja Mack is an American junior who does ALL the flips, he’s the hardcore champ which is a recent title for them (though it has older history but that’s kinda shaky from what I understand). He’s defended the title in every low-rent indie in the US, he’s a small but solidly built guy in a ninja outfit and a mask. And Shuji has recently come back to NOAH after leaving All Japan which has been his stalwart promotion for a while. Shuji is a big guy with a powerful if aging build, gray is in his hair and his body is scarred and he walks with uh…a deliberate pace. He’s like if that picture of a battered, old great white shark was a human being and he exudes both power and pain. He’s an indie legend with some real runs in major companies and a ton of tag-team success with Suwama as the Violent Giants. He’s in baggy red pants.

Hey guys and welcome to what is a pretty significant Pro Wrestling NOAH event with three title matches and some pretty important things happening on the show, SPOILERS. Now a more clever man than myself would have this review up quickly to take advantage of the hype for the show but I am not that man and I didn’t write notes while watching it the first time cause it was very late/early for me and I was tired. So this is a rewatch and I will be even more cynical and critical than I was before! So watch out for that.

Super Crazy vs. LJ Cleary vs. Ninja Mack

Background: So these are three juniors who are not super important, Mack is probably the most credible as he’s been Junior and Hardcore champ before and Super Crazy is part of Stinger and Cleary is part of GLG. Ninja is in his black ninja outfit, LJ has tights and long curly hair, and Super Crazy looks like a dude I used to demolish houses with. Crazy and LJ are heels (ish) and Mack is a face.

Hey and welcome back to some Pro Wrestling NOAH action. Haven’t done a show in a while and this one is a doozy with a pretty well-built main-event and a title match! Let’s see what we got.

Atsushi Kotoge & Hi69 vs. Hajime Ohara & Ninja Mack

Background: So Atsushi is a junior stalwart who has had a few unsuccessful forays into the heavyweight division but has found a good role as a credible mid-card junior babyface. He’s got a terrible chinstrap beard, magenta dye in his hair, and a pink and white aesthetic that combined with his usage of mid-2000s WWF Jakked offense makes him look like a total cornball, though I am fond of his cornball-ness. Hi69 (pronounced Hiroki) is a lower-card junior babyface who also has terrible gear with a camo pattern, a ponytail, and some awful tattoos. Hajime has a million backbreakers, white and gold tights, a Clark Gable haircut and mustache combo, and some dodgy personal affiliations. Ninja Mack is a white guy who dresses as a ninja and does a lot of flipping he’s also returning from his BOSJ tour in NJPW. Also Kotoge and Hi69 are part of Team NOAH but they’re a total loser stable so don’t worry about that.

Welcome back and today I’m going to be taking a look at the very recent Pro Wrestling NOAH show called One Night Dream…2! The premise of the show is interpromotional bouts and the first one was headlined by my match of the year in Kento Miyahara vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima, and we’re continuing with that trend of NOAH stalwarts versus outsiders with Kenoh vs. Minoru Suzuki…which uh, is much less of a dream match for me. Anyway we got almost 1500 people in Korakuen Hall, so I NOAH we’re in for a good time.

Hikaru Sato vs. Ulka Sasaki

Background: Hikaru is a guy I mostly recognize from All Japan, but he’s worked GLEAT as well and has a background as a shoot fighter. Ulka also was an UFC guy and is my pick for rookie of the year even though he’s debuting at 34. Anyway, we have a solid vet in Sato and a rising star in Sasaki. Sato is wearing the blue gi to the ring with the facial covering and the creepy undercut hair and his pale kinda pudgy body with tons of cupping marks on the back. He really is one of the least visually appealing wrestlers in the business to me. Ulka has his tengu mask on and he’s wearing tights with tons of sponsorship logos on it, he has a nice mop of wild hair and a healthy tan.