Pro Wrestling NOAH: Star Navigation June 9th 2024

Hey and welcome back to some Pro Wrestling NOAH action. Haven’t done a show in a while and this one is a doozy with a pretty well-built main-event and a title match! Let’s see what we got.

Atsushi Kotoge & Hi69 vs. Hajime Ohara & Ninja Mack

Background: So Atsushi is a junior stalwart who has had a few unsuccessful forays into the heavyweight division but has found a good role as a credible mid-card junior babyface. He’s got a terrible chinstrap beard, magenta dye in his hair, and a pink and white aesthetic that combined with his usage of mid-2000s WWF Jakked offense makes him look like a total cornball, though I am fond of his cornball-ness. Hi69 (pronounced Hiroki) is a lower-card junior babyface who also has terrible gear with a camo pattern, a ponytail, and some awful tattoos. Hajime has a million backbreakers, white and gold tights, a Clark Gable haircut and mustache combo, and some dodgy personal affiliations. Ninja Mack is a white guy who dresses as a ninja and does a lot of flipping he’s also returning from his BOSJ tour in NJPW. Also Kotoge and Hi69 are part of Team NOAH but they’re a total loser stable so don’t worry about that.

The Match: Hajime and HI69 do some technical stuff and Ohara easily wins. Mack and Kotoge tag in next. They keep it basic with the standing switches and quick covers. Ninja pops off with some quick chops and then tags on Ohara. Hajima does basic power stuff. Leg lariat from Kotoge brings in Hi69 and we then get Ninja getting double-teamed. Hi69 gets his stuff. Ohara takes out Kotoge interference with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and Ninja Mack gets the Space Flying Tiger Drop and then the Ninja Bomb (Phoenix Splash) for 3 on Hi69.

**

Just a quick and sleazy opening junior car crash that Ninja looked good in and Team NOAH lost, as they do.

Takashi Sugiura vs. Anthony Greene

Background: Sugiura is one of the most established wrestlers in NOAH history, most GHC title defenses and days as champion, he’s a beefy wrestler with military and amateur credentials but he’s also in his early 50s and a survivor of open-heart surgery. On the back-leg of his career he’s still credible. Greene is part of GLG and is a Shawn Michaels cosplayer who plays a sleazy heel with aplomb. Greene is one-half of the reigning tag champs and Sugiura is getting a title shot at the next big NOAH show so we have stakes.

The Match: Lockup and Sugi easily wins and gives a rough break. Greene does some chops which draws a look of just…bemusement from Sugi who then shoulderblocks the American through the ropes. Takashi goes outside to continue the beating but Greene rolls quickly (youth! speed!) back in but eats it on a pescado to the outside as Sugi dodges (canny vet!) and we get the old-timer whipping Greene from barricade to barricade and following them up with boots. Back inside and we slug it out with Greene getting plastered. Sugi’s corner charge misses though and Greene gets the pescado and then a crossbody back inside the ring for 2. Greene looks like he’s about to cry but gets a superkick and a back suplex. Reset to a slugfest but Sugi gets a boot and gets a gourdbuster on the ropes and then the kitchen sink knee as Sugi is destroying Greene’s ribs. Greene gets a slick rollup out of Takashi’s Olympic Slam attempt but the American gets tossed into the corner and we get the vet demolishing him with forearms against the turnbuckle. Sugi gets the delayed superplex…but Greene gets the roll through on a small package to win the match.

**¾

I love Sugiura and he gives a me a ton to work with as a guy who likes this stuff. But the sneaky Greene managing to squeeze out a victory against Takashi who gets obsessed with the kill and not the win always pops me. Probably lower to others but I am a huge fan of both these guys and it’s my rating so there.

Daga, Super Crazy & Yoshinari Ogawa vs. HAYATA, Starboy Charlie & Yu Owada

Background: Daga is our sleazy GHC Junior Heavyweight champion. Mexican, he’s a cheating jerk. Super Crazy is that guy from ECW, he’s now a beloved vet even if he looks puffy and old. Ogawa is also old but looks like Japanese Iggy Pop, he’s gonna cut your eyes out of your head, tie them to your testicles, and kick them both. HAYATA is the reigning GHC National champion for some reason but is normally a junior, he’s got black and purple baggy pants. Starboy has the tie-dye jean overalls and looks like a total dweeb but they’re having him challenge Daga for the Junior belt on the next big show. Yu is a black trunks youngboy.

The Match: Daga stomps on Charlie to start but Starboy does some flippy stuff to counter. Then Ogawa vs. HAYATA who were former stablemates back in the day. They grind it out but HAYATA gets the speed and Ogawa tags in Super Crazy to face Yu Owada. Yu looks good for a bit but Daga comes in to knock around the rookie and then Ogawa slams Owada on the floor and throws him into a table and chokes the kid. Man, I just love Ogawa cheating like a lunatic 24/7. Daga is in and just brutalizes Daga with stomps, snapmares and more disrespect as he checks his ear as the crowd cheers the rook. Ogawa in to do more mean old man stuff. They just abuse the heck out of Owada as they toss him outside more, slam him on the mat and otherwise continue to be mean and old. Owada FINALLY gets a reverse crossbody and tags in HAYATA to do the HAYATA stuff we get the Ogawa/HAYATA sequence and Yoshinari kicks out of the second-rope moonsault but gets a knee counter to HAYATA’s testicles off a dive. Charlie and Daga come in next and Starboy flips and flips. Commentary tries to get over the Denim Dragon nickname and it’s very bad but less embarrassing than Pocket Rocket. Daga gets a gorgeous back suplex backbreaker for 2 and Super Crazy comes in to laugh like a lunatic and powerbomb Charlie. A second powerbomb is turned into a DDT by Charlie and a corkscrew moonsault gets the win.

*¾

Just too long with the Owada heat segment and a sloppy ending (Crazy hadn’t even tagged in) doesn’t do much for me.

AMAKUSA & Junta Miyawaki vs. All Rebellion (Alejandro & Cristobal)

Background: So this is AMAKUSA’s return match. An one-time junior jobber, AMAKUSA went to Mexico and got over this gimmick as a guy dressed as an Imperial Spanish preacher, it got legitimately super over but he tore his ACL and this is his return match. Junta is a guy above a rookie but still doesn’t have any major wins but also spent time in Mexico and is a floppy-haired athletic young man with promise who needs a hook. Alejandro is another Japanese wrestler pretending to be a luchadore and Cristobal is…okay I don’t know but he wears a gimp outfit.

The Match: Alejandro and AMAKUSA start with some speed with AMAKUSA wins but he can’t land the dive and the reset to the middle. Junta and Cristobal next and Cristo acts like a weirdo as he does. Junta gets a dropkick though and him and AMAKUSA stomp on Cristo for a second before Alejandro comes in to do some fancy flying as commentary reminds me that AMAKUSA and Alejandro were stablemates in KONGOH back in the day. Well…huh. Alej gets a tope out of an Irish whip from Amakusa to wipe out Junta. All Rebellion then isolate AMAKUSA and build up some heat on him but it’s only a lukewarm tag to Junta who gets some crisp if simple stuff until Alejandro lands a nice handspring back elbow counter and brings in Cristobal for some doubles. Junta gets a nice DDT and brings in AMAKUSA for a nice springboard back elbow and a nice twisting splash. Junta comes in to get a nice missile dropkick and a triangle plancha and then AMAKUSA gets his gorgeous upside down tope (seriously it’s really hard to describe but it’s crazy) and then a nice twisting splash for the pin on Cristobal.

**¼

Just mostly a sorta match but that ending sequence was really nice. AMAKUSA is more than a flippy dork and has real psychology with his speed and dives. Junta has promise but needs a hook. Alejandro is normally a mess but his stuff looked good here and Cristobal is…okay he sucks but we’re all waiting for him to take the mask off and find out who he is.

Daiki Inaba, Masa Kitamiya & Shuhei Taniguchi vs. Ryohei Oiwa, Titus Alexander & Ulka Sasaki

Background: Daiki, Masa, and Shuhei are just the three lumpen veterans of NOAH. Physical, not super charismatic, have won some tag titles and all look like sides of unprocessed beef. Ryohei, Titus, and Ulka are all cocky rookies. The vets have teamed and worked with each other in the past, the rookies have not.

The Match: Titus and Masa start and trade some basic stuff and then slug it out and Masa just eats him up. Funny spot where Titus sells the arm after eating some shoulderblocks and tags in Oiwa to just beef all over Masa but the vets drag him to the corner and work Ryohei over for a while before Oiwa just dogwalks Taniguchi and in come Ulka and Daiki. Inaba gets some power stuff but Ulka’s slipperiness gets a heel hook and we get Titus and Shuhei and Alexander gets a back suplex before Shuhei just slams everybody on Titus, except Masa who slams Shuhei onto nothing and we get an Ulka cutter but Masa comes in and tries to gobble up Ulka but we get Sasaki Stunner and a jump kick and we reset to a slugfest won by an Ulka jumping knee. Ryohei comes in to body Masa but Kitamiya’s spear brings in Daiki and we triple team on Oiwa. Daiki gets some Germans on Oiwa who breaks with a back elbow to avoid the triple and gets his own suplex and a big knee. Titus and Ulka cutoff the vets and Ryohei’s Doctor Bomb gets the pin on Inaba.

*½

Really confused and too long but it got Ryohei over like crazy. I’m really tired of that triad of vets though, their selling gets worse match by match.

Naomichi Marufuji vs. Jack Morris

Background: So Marufuji is probably the most well-known NOAH guys in the west, been there forever, won everything, has transitioned from a flashy high-flier to a slower, more grounded striker as he’s aged and gotten injured. Jack is part of GLG and is a jacked up Scotsman, Jack is very well pushed by NOAH and he’s one-half of the GHC Tag Team Champions. Marufuji is going to be Sugiura’s partner in the upcoming title match so we’re getting some buildup to that match.

The Match: Some standing switches and a backdown into the ropes with a clean and loving break from Marufuji leads to Naomichi and Jack having a pectoral flexing competition. Headlock from Jack next and this has been a slow-starter. They roll outside and Morris beats on Maru a bit there. Marufuji dodges a Stinger splash though and chops away in the corner and then gets some of the creative kick combos and a cartwheel dropkick. Back outside and more chops from Maru but Jack pops in and gets a tope to wipe out Naomichi. Frog splash by the Scotsman is next. They fight on the apron and get a few big strikes until Jack takes out Maru with the Good Looking Knee. Jack gets Maru with a springboard missile dropkick coming back in and a falcon arrow as Jack is just hitting a ton of big movez as he does in all his matches. Maru gets a cross-legged victory roll for 3 though.

**

Man I don’t know how to feel about this, they were trying too hard and also felt lazy, and ultimately I just don’t think Jack is all that good despite all his Tiger Drivers and Frog Splashes and Topes and Falcon Arrows. Just a match I guess.

GLG (Tadasuke & YO-HEY) (c) vs. Eita & Shuji Kondo – GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Title Match

Background: Tadasuke is our brawling junior champ, YO-HEY is the high-flying one, they’re part of Good Looking Guys and they have a ton of chemistry with each other. Their opponents are Eita who is a former DragonGate guy, he’s got a hybrid lucharesu thing as well as some rudo trickery and he recently signed full-time with NOAH. Shuji is an aging powerhouse junior who was also a DragonGate guy back in the day. No real heat to the match as far as a feud but NOAH juniors booking is basically a basket full of rabid dogs and a few snakes and everybody kinda always hates each other.

The Match: Eita and YO-HEY start and they are fast. I will say that both guys wearing bagging pants and black muscle-tees is an interesting style choice but at least YO-HEY is blonde. Tadasuke and Shuji come in for our power sequence of the match. Tadasuke uses quick strikes but a Kondo legsweep lets Eita come in for some double teams. GLG break it up with an inverted atomic drop and a dropkick combo and now Eita is getting worked over by YO-HEY. Taddy in to do a body slam leg drop combo brother. More abuse on Eita from GLG and Tadasuke gets a nice powerbomb backbreaker to keep the heat before a Kondo breakup. And Kondo just…tanks the double team, takes both GLG members down and almost gets the hot-tag before GLG continue abusing Eita. Eita backdrops outta Tadasuke’s second powerbomb attempt but doesn’t get the hot tag until he rolls through a sunset flip into a dropkick. Kondo is a house on 82 degree heat as he saunters through the ring and stomps on GLG. YO-HEY gets a little bit of heat but Shuji gets a superbomb and tags in Eita. It’s all breaking down in Tokyo and they all hit their big moves on each other to the degree where I am not going to recount them all but then Eita gets his Imperial Uno (superkick) to counter YO-HEY’s Super Face G (diving meteora) for a pretty sick finish.

**3/4

Worked hard the last couple minutes but Shuji Kondo drained this match’s energy for me. Nice to see Eita back in NOAH and full-time as well.

Gabe Kidd & Jake Lee vs. All Rebellion (Kaito Kiyomiya & Kenoh)

Background: So Jake Lee has been interfering in New Japan angles, but I don’t follow New Japan so I don’t know about why or how what he’s doing. Gabe Kidd is part of Bullet Club and I believe he is a foreigner who swears a lot and hits people with a chair in a pretty novel utilization of that stable. This is the A-squad of All Rebellion with the frenemies of Kaito and Kenoh defending NOAH against these outsiders. Also Gabe and Kaito had some brawls last year in New Japan from what I understand and obviously Kenoh beat Jake for the GHC title. Jake is in black tights, Kidd is in black trunks, and Kenoh and Kaito are in white and silver.

The Match: Before Kenoh and Kaito come out we get some oi bruvs from Kidd and he swears like the naughty dog that he is. Kaito and Kenoh come out and throws hands at Kidd before the bell rings. We start with a slugfest as Kenoh and Lee fight on the outside. Kaito knocks Gabe outside and the Brit powders and Lee and Kenoh face off. Gabe trips up Kenoh and Kaito jumps him again. It’s all breaking down as the two groups of rivals brawl all around Korakuen. I uh, don’t really know how to recap this but Kaito hits a dropkick in the crowd and plops on the floor in a pretty crazy bump. You do feel the hate. And Kidd tries to throw Kaito off a barricade and this feels a bit ridiculous with Kidd’s absurd bug-eyed facial expressions. Meanwhile Jake and Kenoh are pretty content working rest holds as the crowd is mostly invested in the Kaito/Gabe deal. Props to Jake for working his arrogant, too cool for school gimmick with the single-foot covers as he’s doing the bare minimum to get heat on Kenoh while the crowd can 100% invest in the big brawl. Kidd gets an exploder on the outside that Lee claps for and ¾ are down and selling while Jake just paces the ring and sneers. Jake works the midsection of Kenoh as Gabe swears and bruvs. And swears and bruvs on Kenoh who has been taking a nap for the last 5 minutes. Kenoh finally does something other than sell with a backflip out of a suplex and a Pele as Kaito and Gabe go at it again with Kaito just stomping out the Brit in the corner. We get some traded suplexes and random interference but we reset back to Kidd and Kaito. Gabe dodges the Kaito Shining Wizard and gets a brainbuster and tosses Kaito over the top-rope to kersplat on the outside. Chairshot to the dome of Kaito by Gabe and Kaito blades beneath the ring-apron. Kaito comes back with a crimson match and we get a DCO as Kidd and Kaito brawl some more and Jake and Kenoh share a cigarette or something.

***3/4

I’ll be honest I still am not totally sold on Gabe Kidd as a character as NJPW presents his character, but he played the role of loathsome violent jerk well and I want Kaito to rip his head off. I can do without the swearing and the cringe promos but he has some intensity at least. Meanwhile Kenoh and Jake realized that the show was their partners feud and they did the bare minimum to not take the shine or attention away while still putting over their feud. I’m not being sarcastic about that at all. I really want to see the blowoff next Sunday and they did a good job to ramp up the violence and such.

Overall a pretty whatever show but a hot main-event carries a lot for a go-home show.