Dream Matches — page 14

The only Big Fat Heels I’ve never heard of- the Colossal Kongs! And HARLEY RACE was their manager! While he was managing Vader!

Welcome back to the final Dream Matches column of 2021! And true to form, I fill it with Big Fat Guy matches! This week, we’ll be taking a look at a request that netted me TWO bizarre matches- bouts featuring the Colossal Kongs! First, we see the pair of rotund near-clones as they take on two of the Four Horsemen- Arn Anderson & Paul Roma! Then we see one in a strange JTTS match against Ric Flair of all people, as Flair tries to use his “Broomstick TV Match” template on a hopeless obesitron!

Then take another look at mid-90s Nitro mishmash bouts as Lord Steven Regal takes on a young, masked Juventud Guerrera! And we see Freddie Joe Floyd for one final time, as I’ve run out of matches of his- here he teams up with Barry Horowitz as the “Elite Jobber” team up against… the Headbangers! Yes, Freddie Joe Floyd and the Headbangers interacted! How’s THAT for a wacky “Dream Match you never knew you needed”?! Then watch the strange circumstances of WCW boldly hiring away ECW’s 911 only to use him as a piece of shit jobber, taking on Ice Train on the D-show! And then it’s a glorious Fat Guy Dream Team as the One Man Gang teams up with John Tenta against the Armstrong Brothers… sadly, it’s Tenta as The Shark, but still! This would have been a mega-team in 1990!

THE COLOSSAL KONGS (Awesome Kong & King Kong, w/ Col. Rob Parker) vs. ARN ANDERSON & PAUL ROMA:
(WCW, Oct. 24th 1993)
* Shockingly, the Kongs are a pair of Big Fat Heels I’ve NEVER HEARD OF, but were apparently in WCW for a little bit. They debuted separately, but looked similar enough that they were eventually paired up, but neither ever became anything. Rob Parker is subbing for Harley Race, said to be busy with Vader at the moment. Awesome Kong is the hairier one of the two. And they’re taking on two of the Four Horsemen, which at this point features infamous failed star Paul Roma. Roma’s in long white tights and Arn’s in manly powder-blue trunks.

WWF KING OF THE RING 1999 (Qualifying Matches):
* Time for more King of the Ring Qualifying Match goodness! With… the infamous 1999 tournament. Okay, so this one shockingly, like 1996, looks GREAT. On paper. I mean, you have two former Kings (Viscera/Shamrock), a ton of over midcarders (Gunn, Dogg, X-Pac, Godfather, even Chyna), some legit major names (Kane, Big Show). All four subordinate members of DX, Jarrett, Test, and more! Like, ON PAPER this looks like it should be a fantastic, well-fought tournament! And the purpose here is much like in past years: Push a midcarder and hope he gets lifted up to the next level. But of course we all know what happened with THIS King of the Ring reign. Read on!

So, uh, 1999 WWF is somewhat notorious in fan circles- 1997 was the company revving up and being good, 1998 was this incredible peak of business, 2000 had a ton of great workers infusing the Attitude Era with top-level in-ring product… and 1999 is kind of that weird shit year where Vince Russo’s worst instincts were revealed and the in-ring product was mostly ass. And also Owen Hart died shortly before this. You can see weird things pop up right away when all eight Qualifying Matches take place across two back-to-back editions of Sunday Night Heat and not even the main show.

KEN SHAMROCK vs. “DOUBLE J” JEFF JARRETT (w/ Debra McMichael):
(WWF Sunday Night Heat, May 30th)
* Shamrock is the defending King of the Ring, wearing blue trunks, while Jarrett, in silver & red shorts, is now FINALLY getting the reaction bookers have dreamed about for him since he has a heat machine in his ability to deny the crowd see Debra’s “puppies”. I thought Shamrock was a Corporation guy at this point, but I guess not, because he’s hugely over (we’re in the “Union” era). Both guys are on a similar tier here, and this is one of the more competitive Qualifying matches for sure.

Welcome back to a slightly smaller Dream Matches column, as I wasn’t sure where to fit this legendary Disorderly Conduct/Armstrong Brothers D-show Gauntlet, but then the request I got for a JIM POWERS victory made me realize I could give them all their own column! So come see the excitement as Jim Powers and Barry Horowitz square off for six minutes so poor Monsoon & Hayes have to hype up a fucking WBF Pay-Per-View event, and then WCW’s booking committee fills time in their “D-Show ‘verse” as Mean Mike and Tough Tom manage to fight Scott & Steve Armstrong an astonishing FIVE TIMES over the course of 18 months! Which is awful, but a fascinating look at how guys can do the exact same batch of moves over and over and fashion slightly different lame matches out of them each time.

Also by request: Los Conquistadors get a rare TV win of their very own! Poor Sam Houston & Terry Taylor… but don’t worry- Taylor will spark off an angle at the end of the match that totally won’t ruin his career forever!

Jim Powers: The living definition of a *Clap* “YEAH!” Guy.

JIM POWERS vs. BARRY HOROWITZ:
(WWF TV, June 8th 1992)
* Yes, this is in fact an incredibly notable match- a JIM POWERS squash… where he’s NOT THE ONE BEING SQUASHED! He even gets goddamn theme music! He’s up against legit jobber (and humorously someone who ended up with more of a solo push than Jim did in the WWF) Barry Horowitz, here in lime green trunks. Powers is so excited to get a TV win he practically Barry Allens into the ring from the aisle, not letting any moments breathe properly.

Eddie Guerrero as a dorky young babyface jobber! What could be better?!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time we have a pretty varied assortment of “Wait, that happened?” matches, starting with a young rookie Eddie Guerrero being fed to NWA World Title contender Terry Funk way back in *1989*! Also I get the last Super Assassins match, as the masked Powers of Pain are fed to Lex Luger & Sting on Nitro! Then it’s the infamous era of Ahmed Johnson as the fat, washed-up “Big T” as Harlem Heat 2000 face dream match legends Disorderly Conduct! And a request- the HORRENDOUS one-off solo match of “Kizarny”, who wrestles MVP here before showing up in a battle royal and then being fired, never to darken WWE again! And also, the “Decent stars slumming it in horrible WWF gimmicks” bout as The Executioner faces Freddie Joe Floyd!

TERRY FUNK vs. EDDIE GUERRERO:
(WCW TV, Sept. 5th 1989)
* Eddie, in jobber yellow trunks, is set to be eaten alive by Funk, who is outraged that the accouncer doesn’t wait until his chaps are off before announcing him. Terry’s in those red & black long tights of his from the ’90s- Jim Ross’s commentary suggests this is right after Funk turned on Flair and piledrove him through a table. Terry actually has REALLY big arms at this point, not quite having decayed to his “middle aged and crazy” state, while Eddie’s already juicing. He’s mentione was being “The younger brother of Hector and Chavo Guerrero, and Mando Guerrero” because they were actually MORE FAMOUS than he was at this point!

FINALLY… the legendary ARACHNAMAN!

I’ve got a wild batch of Dream Matches for you today! First up is an amazingly-weird 6-Man Tag featuring the Dangerous Alliance versus a murderer’s row of infamously-stupid WCW Gimmicks: Big Josh (Doink as a lumberjack), PN News (obese white rapper) and Arachnaman (day-glo Spider-Man)! Then it’s a very strange one-time-only bout as the Smoking Gunns split up and team with the most bottom-tier “Not Quite Pure Jobbers” in the company, as it’s Bart Gunn & Freddie Joe Floyd vs. Billy Gunn & T.L. Hopper!

Also, how about some more Ice Train as he teams up with 2 Cold Scorpio & Marcus Bagwell against Ron Simmons and Harlem Heat! And then the stupidest jobber in WCW, Horshu, faces The Giant! And we cap things off with a bizarre WCW Tag Title defense as Scott Hall defends the gold by himself against the legendary due of Disorderly Conduct!

THE DANGEROUS ALLIANCE (“Stunning” Steve Austin, Arn Anderson & “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton, w/ Paul E. Dangerously & Madusa) vs. P.N. NEWS, BIG JOSH & ARACHNAMAN:
(WCW TBS Power Hour, Jan 11th 1992)
* OH MY GOD OH JESUS YES!! THIS IS WHAT I WAS PUT ON EARTH TO REVIEW!!! Fucking P.N. News, Doink the Clown and Brad Armstrong as a Player 2 version of Spider-Man versus the Dangerous Alliance! The Alliance is of course Paul E’s stable of baddies post-Horsemen, and mean nothing to me as a fan because I wasn’t watching at this time- I’ve heard WCW/NWA fans go ga-ga over them, and most are legit workers, though- seems like a pretty good stable. News is in neon green, Josh is dressed like a goddamn lumberjack in blue jorts and a red shirt, and Arachnaman is in blue with yellow. I swear to God the announcer says the latter is from “Web City”. I think the Alliance is coming down to a Jimmy Hart Version of “I Want a New Drug”. Bobby’s in white tights, Arn in red trunks & Austin in trunk-shorts that look like someone made them out of the opening of “Saved By The Bell”.

Bret was in the Crossface Chicken wing for like eight minutes at the Survivor Series and lost the World Title thanks to Owen, and he’s been seeking revenge every since!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I get to another request, as it’s a good TV match between Bret & Bulldog and Owen & Bob Backlund during their months-long feud! Better yet, we get the Tugboat match where he teams with the Bushwhackers against Earthquake & The Nasty Boys! The New Blackjacks EXPLODE as Bradshaw fights Barry Windham during the awful “NWA Invasion” angle! Then it’s a look at weird WCW jobbers as Maxx Muscle & The Gambler get set up against Fire & Ice on a D-show! And finally, a bizarre pair of Shotgun matches featuring Val Venis vs. Tiger Ali Singh in the latter’s JTTS heel era! These are some of the only Singh matches I can find online!

BRET “HITMAN” HART & “THE BRITISH BULLDOG” DAVEY-BOY SMITH vs. OWEN HART & MR. BOB BACKLUND:
(WWF Action Zone, Feb. 26th 1995)
* The ongoing Bret/Backlund feud continues on past Bob being completely destroyed credibility-wise by Diesel. Shockingly they’ve all been fighting since before Survivor Series. Davey’s in the short shorts and wild hair at this point, but everyone else is in the usual.

Welcome back for more Dream Matches! This time we got to a sorta-request- a PPV match between Brock Lesnar & Rob Van Dam! Then a powerhouse bout between Scott Norton and the One Man Gang from 1996 WCW! Also, more of Freddie Joe Floyd, as he takes on a post-KOTR Steve Austin in 1996 WWF! More of High Energy, as they fight the jobber due of Barry Horowitz & Kato! The Powers of Pain in WCW as the Super Assassins against JTTS duo the State Patrol! And finally, we get the all-time greatest dream match of all: THE BEVERLY BROTHERS vs. DISORDERLY CONDUCT! Can WCW Saturday Night contain that level of star powers? Read on!

2002 KING OF THE RING FINAL:
BROCK LESNAR (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. ROB VAN DAM:
(6/23/02)
* So someone recommended I review the Vengeance match between these two, but it’s not on YouTube I think- but hey! Another KOTR match! This is the Finals to 2002’s show, during the Year of Lesnar’s Mega-Push. This tourney led to Steve Austin temporarily quitting as well as Chris Jericho turning on the IWC, ripping on fans for giving his RVD match on this same show only ***1/2 or so. Something like “If you don’t like this, then you’ll never like anything we ever give you” because he had an elevated opinion of that bout. Brock’s in black trunks and looks like absolute MONEY with that huge, bulky muscular physique, while RVD’s in great tiger-striped tights.

Welcome back for more Dream Matches! This time, we take a look at the match that lit up the American Indies for a year or so and made Tape Traders a ton of money that was soon blown on other tapes: Sabu vs. Al Snow! One of a bunch of times they fought! Also, fans of Ice Train will revel in the fact that I just can’t get enough of his short WCW D-show matches, as he takes on MAXX!

Plus we’ll see the time the not at all petty WWE shared a match on Instagram where Britt Baker played a jobber against Nia Jax- COMPLETE COINCIDENTALLY showing it just as she was set to win the AEW Women’s Title! oh also, I’ve now become obsessed with the bizarre run Tracy Smothers had in 1996, playing “Aw Shucks” rookie Freddie Joe Floyd, wrestling two matches against Bradshaw that badly damaged BOTH guys!

NO RULES (I guess?):
SABU (w/ Damien 666) vs. AL SNOW:
(Some Indie Fancam)
* So I’ve always heard that Sabu was just THE SHIT if you were a 1994-96 Tape Trader- he was one of the most talked-about guys in the business, slowly building an indie legend through word of mouth and insane stuntshow matches. ECW hit on this and Paul E. naturally knew EXACTLY how to push the guy. And apparently a lot of those big matches of his that built the legend were against “Good Hand” worker Al Snow. They wrestled a bunch (CageMatch has 3-4 matches as far as I can tell), and this is undated on YouTube. Sabu’s in green shiny Prince of Persia pants and Al’s in plain blue trunks like a jobber goof. I dunno why Damien 666 is managing Sabu. And oh my god this mat is FILTHY. Like threadbare and with a giant black stain.

Steve Regal- the master of the “Disgusted Sneer” look.

Welcome back to another Dream Matches column! This one is a bit different, as I take two different WCW matches that happened multiple times and compare them- the first is a Dean Malenko/Steve Regal match that blew my mind way back in 1996 when I first checked this “Nitro” show out- it was a learning experience for a whole new type of match! And then they fought later that same year. Also, I found a weird trio of matches featuring Ice Train vs. La Parka of all people, back when he was the luchadore jobber du jour. And finally we have the bizarre “Super Assassins” (The Warlord & Barbarian under masks) as they take on the infamous American Males!

WCW TV TITLE:
LORD STEVEN REGAL vs. DEAN MALENKO:
(WCW Nitro, Aug. 8th 1996)
* Okay, so here’s a very big moment of my wrestling fandom right here. WWF was my “home-base” fed, especially since I was Canadian and WCW had crap for TV up here, but when I heard about this rival show forming, I decided to give them another chance. And this was one of the very first matches I saw in those first handful of shows (which included the famous “Rey Mysterio Lawn-Dart” incident. Regal at this point had some cred but mostly settled into this “Undercard Guy”, dominating as TV Champ, while Dean was the top Cruiserweight. Dean’s in black & purple trunks, while Regal, looking like he’s just absolutely DISGUSTED to be there, is in blue with red kneepads. Neither is holding a title at this point.

Remember when Sable was so over she could be the focus of the poster of a PPV while the freaking HELL IN A CELL match was reduced to a tiny image on the bottom?

WWF KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCHES (1998):
-And now we come to 1998- the company is riding the success of Steve Austin and running wild with it, and fresh new names are all over the company, driving gates and bringing eyeballs to the product. The only problem is, they’ve lost Bret Hart & Shawn Michaels within six months of each other, leaving Austin alone at the very top. Taker’s about to be reinvented, and Foley’s good as a temporary challenger, but it’s mostly a company led by the Austin/McMahon feud. So it seems like an ideal time to build up new challengers, right? So here we have a KOTR with some new faces- The Rock, Ken Shamrock, Mark Henry, a red-hot returning X-Pac, and more! Plus former Kings Owen & Triple-H are here.

We’re back to a 16-man tournament, with eight qualifiers and then the first round on TV. Only one of which I can find on YouTube, but I got all the Qualifiers but one!

OWEN HART vs. 2 COLD SCORPIO:
(June 2nd)
* Very disparate guys in weird parts of their careers here, as Owen Hart is now the last Hart Family member remaining post-Montreal, wearing his black & yellow “Caution Sign” singlet, and Scorpio’s in blue tights with “Beefcake holes”, and is a total JTTS, having dropped “Flash Funk”. Owen’s actually a member of the Nation of Domination here, and they’re sent back to the locker room before the match starts.

Bret vs. Owen! But it’s super hot out and I bet they don’t think anyone will buy this tape! Come see how much effort they put in!

WWF KUWAITI CUP 1996:

So before we had the Saudi Arabian shows or the “Tribute to the Troops”, we had a couple of years of “Kuwaiti Cups”, where guys would wrestle for a prize that’d get mentioned for a couple of weeks on TV. This guy’s channel has a few of the matches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeT4gO_-Y0Yo0y8kTv4HmIQ. Jim Ross & Dok Hendrix commentate most of this, often bringing up the staggering heat out there- Monsoon also gets paired up with Ross. This all happens in May 1996, a month or so before the King of the Ring where Austin’s legend began, and it’s essentially one show after another for a week- each only a day apart. So you know these guys are gonna be looking to work light or work short.

There’s quite a few true rarities in here, though. Bret Hart vs. Leif Cassidy! Steve Austin vs. Ahmed Johnson back when we’d have all guessed wrong who the next big star was going to be! And most importantly, TRIPLE-H VERSUS BUTCH!!

High Energy AND Max Moon! In one match! It’s the most 1992 thing in wrestling!

Here’s an extra Dream Matches column for the week! Mainly because I had an extra couple of Steiners/Fire & Ice matches to post, plus I found this other bizarre one- a rare Genius match from 1992… AND a Max Moon appearance! In the same match! These would be posted MONTHS apart if I did the usual thing, so I give a little extra this week. I also threw in a short Giant/Ice Train match from the same time.

MAX MOON & HIGH ENERGY (Owen Hart & Koko B. Ware) vs. THE GENIUS & THE BEVERLY BROTHERS (Beau & Blake)
(Dec. 7th 1992)
* Wow, now THIS is a weird one. The Genius in a rare 1992 wrestling appearance, along with the short-lived Max Moon teaming up with fellow high-fliers Owen & Koko! The Genius is ultra-pasty in his black jobber trunks. Monsoon jokes about the twelve Hart children before the match, “Stu was certainly busy, wasn’t he?”, cracking up Lord Alfred.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnyynw2pz1Y&ab_channel=NWALegends.com

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I hit a request from a couple weeks back, as the Hardy Boyz (then indie darlings and not WWF superstars yet) take on Sabu & Rob Van Dam in a one-time-only match! Then we get an amazing HOSS MATCH as the Steiner Brothers and Fire & Ice just got buckwild and murder each other with suplexes for six minutes on Nitro. Then it’s Andre the Giant & Giant Baba taking on Terry & Dory Funk in All Japan from 1990! And then I torture you all by featuring the No-Limit Soldiers (B.A. & Swoll) vs. Lenny & Lodi doing an offensive gay gimmick from the dying days of WCW! Finally we end with a “Dream Matches” MVP, Roadblock, taking on one of the Texas Hangmen (maybe the Disorderly Conduct guy!). Read on!

TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH:
SABU & ROB VAN DAM (w/ Bill Alfonso) vs. THE HARDY BOYZ (Matt & Jeff Hardy):
(All Star Wrestling NWA Legends Show, Feb. 11th 1998)
* Okay, huh? I’ve never heard of this, but it’s before the Hardys meant anything, as they were merely respected job guys at this point in the WWF, with their own spotfest indie promotion (OMEGA). It would be Sept. 1998 when they properly debuted as “featured” guys in the WWF, after being trained by Dory Funk Jr. for a bit. This is some All Star Wrestling show in Greenville, North Carolina. RVD was still with ECW at this point, and Sabu was suspended around this time (might be later). The camera work here is… not great. Very grainy, pixelated and stuck in one corner. Sabu’s in orange, RVD’s in light tights (I can’t tell the color), and the Hardys are in matching checkerboard baggy pants.

WCW’s manliest tag team in a pairing that would probably have gotten a lot more love in today’s era than 1996- Fire & Ice!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, we have the beginnings of the Fire & Ice tag team, as Scott Norton & Ice Train wrestle a match on the D-show and are suddenly filled with manly feelings of respect! Also, the time Jerry Lawler cuts a horrific promo about Goldust in a King of the Ring Qualifying Match… and gets a face reaction for it! Plus after the oddly-good Henry Godwinn vs. Bradshaw match I was compelled to watch their later matches in 1997… and immediately regretted that compulsion! Also since those matches sucked, I added an extra bout- Sid & The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Aldo Montoya… and AVATAR! He’s back! Read on!

As always, these matches are all available on YouTube.

SCOTT NORTON vs. ICE TRAIN:
(WCW Pro, 1996-02-24)
* So weirdly enough we have the future Fire & Ice wrestling on the WCW show even *I* didn’t watch, even at the peak of my “watch EVERYTHING in wrestling” fandom. Norton’s in a red & black singlet, while Train’s in… kind of the same gear, making the Mirror Match even more obvious. Train’s looking more slender than I remember seeing him- he obviously got more swole later. Both guys nave near-identical builds, though Train is puffier and Norton more of a solid barrel.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have Shawn Michaels taking on both members of the New Rockers, but in separate matches! This is during the year he became WWF Champion for the first time, so it was a pretty big deal. And both Marty Jannetty & Al Snow were good workers, so the matches are pretty good! And then we get a lucha-rules match from late-stage WCW where Rey Mysterio & Eddie Guerrero team up against Blitzkrieg & La Parka for a shockingly great short match! Also since I showed Al’s run as Shinobi a couple weeks ago, here’s part of his run as Avatar! And finally, some of the mightiest of the Rick Fuller Division go up against each other, as the dreaded huge JTTSs of Roadblock and RON STUDD are in our final bout!

SHAWN MICHAELS (w/ Jose Lothario) vs. LEIF CASSIDY:
(WWF RAW, March 25th 1996)
* So naturally, with Marty Jannetty returning to the WWF and forming the New Rockers, it was only fitting that at some point his old partner Shawn would end up wrestling one or the other. Shawn, introducing Jose for possibly the first time in front of fans, was on the road to the Iron Man Match at this point. Humorously, Leif is such a dork he’s seen marking out for both Shawn and Jose, then aggressively shakes Shawn’s hand to start. Shawn’s in red and Leif’s in a black singlet with a neon “X” across it.

Beating a bunch of midcarders and you change the business forever. Wrestling is weird.

WWF KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCHES (1996):
* You might have heard of this tournament before. So by this point, the tourney was kind of up in the air after Mabel’s failed Main Event push. It could have even poisoned the “King” title, in fact. Hopefully THIS year’s winner makes more of a go of it.

So the backstory here was that the crown was meant to go to the “Next Big Midcarder”, more or less- mid-tier heel Hunter Hearts-Helmsley was expected to win it. But instead, he was one of the few guys the WWF could punish for doing the infamous “Curtain Call” (the Kliq members all coming out for a group hug in the ring, “exposing the business” by confusing fans at an MSG house show). And so he had his big push taken away and they threw it on some other guy. Thus giving HHH a lifelong persecution complex and an obsessive need to look smarter and better than everyone else, covering his own ass at every opportunity. But who knows what effect THAT had on the business?

This review is comparatively massive, because I decided to put the trio of Quarterfinals in the same review instead of splitting them up. Easier to look at the tourney as a whole that way! Hopefully it’s not too long, haha.

HENRY O. GODWINN (w/ Hillbilly Jim) vs. JUSTIN “HAWK” BRADHSAW (w/ Uncle Zebekiah):
(WWF Superstars)
* Weirdness abounds as tag wrestler Godwinn is out there with absolutely ZERO chance, taking on rising midcard guy Bradshaw, then a super-green Stan Hansen wannabe in red trunks and a ponytail managed by Zebekiah. At this point, the future JBL was nowhere near as protected as he would be even as part of the Acolytes, but he was protected enough.

The LOD vs. the RnRs! And not in FirePro! But don’t get too excited, because it’s short!

It’s time for another Dream Matches column! I was really surprised by how much of a reaction my 1995 KOTR one got, so I’ll have a 1996 version next week. This one features the one-time-only tag team match between the Road Warriors and the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express… except it’s given 4 minutes on a WWF D-Show and the Express are heels! Life is weird.

Also up is a DOUBLE-SHOT of Ahmed Johnson vs. Al Snow, as Ahmed takes on Shinobi in an infamous squash match, and then the next year faces the New Rockers’ “Leif Cassidy”. Then we get the Bruiser Brody Memorial Show weirdo match of Abdullah the Butcher & Jimmy Snuka against Stan Hansen & Tom Zenk of all people. And we end it with a WCW Lucha Libre show match starring Psychosis, Felino & El Mosco vs. Blitzkrieg, Venum & Super Calo!

THE LEGION OF DOOM vs. THE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL EXPRESS (w/ Jim Cornette, Jeff Jarrett & Barry Windham):
(WWF Shotgun Saturday Night, Jan. 24th, 1998)
* Yes, this is apparently the one and only time the friggin’ Road Warriors & R’n’Rs EVER FOUGHT, despite the vast amount of years both teams had been around, often in the same company. This seems impossible given how today’s wrestling is, but back then, I guess they just never wanted to run it. On this very blog, someone suggested it and Scott pointed out the Roadies weren’t gonna lose and the Express was better off getting the rub for teams who could play ball with them: https://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2020/05/19/road-warriors-vs-rnr/. All there ever was was a 4-way match I guess. So instead we get a four-minute bullshit match on a WWF D-show, and this is the only time these two legendary squads ever faced each other in a tag match… with Jim Cornette backing up the HEEL RnRs, who are advertised as the NWA Tag Team Champions. Life is weird.

The Express are in red tights with white tassels (coming down to the ROCKERS’ theme music of all things) while the LOD are sorta in their “LOD 2000” gear, with grey shoulderpads- an unusual look for the WWF. The Express are 40 and 42, yet both look nearly fifty- they did NOT age well.

Mabel vs. Savio Vega ending a PPV. This was so bad it feels like a hard-boiled noir detective should be doing narration over it.

KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCHES (1995):
* Back for more King of the Ring Qualifiers- technically still part of my “Dream Matches” column, haha. And with a special edition of everyone’s favorite wrestling standby: FANTASY REBOOKING!!

This year’s King of the Ring was very well-represented on YouTube. This is the most infamously bad tournament in history, which is hilarious, as “on paper” it looks to be the biggest one ever- while most tourneys are foregone conclusions or are full of mid-level guys, this one had Lex, Owen, Razor, Shawn and even the UNDERTAKER wrestling, with a ton of matches having equal stars. So the disaster that was the ’95 KOTR is a true epic. Come watch as the long national nightmare of Savio Vega in a prominent role begins, plus how NOT to create a new Monster Heel.

Previous tournaments re-legitimized ex-champion Bret Hart and gave credibility to Owen for his feud with Bret. A third tournament could either legitimize another would-be champion (Shawn Michaels, in this case), or set up a challenger for Diesel, who’s coming out of a feud with Psycho Sid. It looks like Bob Holly beating Mantaur is not on YouTube, but I found the rest.

MABEL (w/ Mo) vs. ADAM BOMB:
(WWF In Your House, May 14th)
* This was a strange decision- putting the first KOTR Qualifier on the first-ever In Your House PPV as a throwaway bout. Mabel had just recently turned heel, while Bomb was spinning his wheels as a directionless babyface after splitting with Harvey Whippleman last year. Bomb’s in the red & yellow gear as usual (he only briefly wore other colors), while Mabel’s in black & purple.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, I lead off with what is probably Blitzkrieg’s best match ever, as he takes on Juventud Guerrera on PPV. More Hossery as the Faces of Fear take on the Giant Jobber Division of Ron Studd & John Tenta at the same time! Then it’s a rare look at the 1-2-3 Kid in a JTTS match, as Damien “I was NOT a JOBBER!” DeMento takes him on! And I found one of Lash LeRoux’s early matches, up against a “long since stopped giving a fuck” Roadblock. And finally, my “King of the Ring Qualifying Matches” series continues, but with the only two bouts I could find on YouTube. No idea why 1993 & 1995 are there in their near-entirety, but this one only has a couple.

JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. BLITZKRIEG:
(WCW Spring Stampede, 4/11/1999)
* Here’s another Blitzkrieg match- arguably his biggest, as he takes on Juventud on PPV! Juvi’s maskless and in mostly black (with silver & gold highlights), while Blitz has his best gear on- a slick black/red/silver get-up that’s not as loose as it sometimes is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFP2j4aCZZk&t=348s&ab_channel=ReedBettor

Oh man, I found some wild stuff for everyone today! VADER AND EARTHQUAKE as the mother of all Monster tag teams! In the weirdo Fake-Shoot Japanese UWF-I fed, no less!

Also, here’s a horrifying indie match between the Warlord and an ultra-green Ron Reis, plus a tag match in the storied No-Limit Soldiers/West Texas Rednecks feud. And we end things with a Saturday Night match between Eddie Guerrero & Blitzkrieg, as my “check out all the Blitzkrieg stuff on YouTube” series finally continues!

SUPER VADER & JOHN TENTA vs. GARY ALBRIGHT & KAZUO YAMAZAKI:
(UWF-I, 08.10.1994)
* Now THIS is a Fat Man Stand-Off! So Vader/Albright is the big feud in the company at this point, and Vader (the reigning champ) brings it Earthquake for a tag match. Quake is noticeably taller and wider than Vader is, in fact. Both are wearing their standard gear, though Tenta has an oddly blank upper torso, as “Earthquake” has been taken off. Albright was a big kinda homegrown UWF-I star, becoming a big name they were building up. He got pretty fat after this, but here is a barrel-chested guy in yellow, being dwarfed by the opposing team. Yamazaki has no physique, but was a shooter-type guy through most of the UWFs- feeling skipped over for title shots, he bailed for New Japan (his original company) and even sided with them during the “New Japan vs. UWF” angle, training its boys against the “Shooters”.