Nightmare Matches

Well, I can’t let a mention in the Wrestling Observer Flashback post go without a response, so for one night only it’s the return of Nightmare Matches!

This will be the last volume of Nightmare Matches for a little while as my job is about to get busy again. Some WCW Saturday Night reviews are in the bag across the next few weekends, but I may pop up with some old Work and Shoot as some YouTube channels are really delivering the goods.

This edition:

• The many (pock-marked and grumpy) faces of Steve DiSalvo!
• Three cowboys in search of a conclusion!
• The battle of the full nelsons… in front of about 90 people, not 90,000!
• The final days of Andre the Giant!
• Intergender wrestling!

I’m always up for taking requests, so this review includes action from the Big Kaiju Battel promotion, plus Paul Bearer in his pre-Monster Mash days.

Following on from last week, this is to test which was truly the worst Hogan/Piper match of 1997.

Spoiler: he misses… both.

This week’s set of matches is bookended by two matches featuring “Rowdy” Roddy Piper which were voted as the worst matches of 1986 and 1997 respectively by readers of the Wrestling Observer. I’m a big fan of the Hot Rod, but no doubt he went off the boil at a point despite his abundant charisma and ability. One’s a clear stinker, the other I’m not so sure about, so we’ll find out. Also some MMA, the ladies, plus more!

I’m actually a few weeks ahead of myself with Nightmare Matches volumes, but how could I not review this match as a bonus? Ric Flair’s last match, after a weekend of festivities, building up to something everyone wanted to see because they knew it would be something they didn’t want to see. Let’s go – WOOOOO!

A little more war with the worst War Games from WCW, plus odds and sods and some of the Observer’s worst matches.

This week… it’s WAR!

The guy in the top middle was an early casualty, thanks to the one-armed man.

The Worm returns, a little more Animal magic, and a nightmare from Elm Street await today!

Thanks for the requests last week, keep them coming. Vaguely animal-themed review this week.

Dragons!

Scorpions!

Worms!

Sharks!

Exclamation marks!

In all seriousness, though, read to the end, because there will be a full episode review of an infamous moment in Detroit Big Time Wrestling.

Back this week without a specific theme, which will come and go as the need or inspiration arises, but meeting a few requests for a fiery match involving Mike Samples and an even hotter one involving Ta-Gar, Lord of the Volcano!

Just realised I could’ve had a theme there – fuck!

This week’s reviews are inspired by Scott’s review of an awful Raw episode with a heel who looks like they paint his face on doing a posing segment and Vince McMahon’s fascination with bodybuilders who look like they’re ready for a night out on the town!

A quick editorial on that Raw segment, as I’m not a regular watcher but read Scott’s review out of curiosity and watched that segment. The obvious post-1984 reference for pose downs is Rude/Warrior, which was generally not a good segment, but had the bit at the end where Heenan sprayed Warrior in the eyes with the baby oil and Rude wore him out with a flexing bar to set up a damn good feud that was nothing but money. This has a guy, (Austin) Theory (why not just call him Hypothesis at this point?), who I’m guessing is pushed because he’s “a good promo” but actually is on par with Billy Gunn as a heel in 1996 with the “SHUT UP!” stuff, looks weird, posy, and after this “savage attack” on Bobby Lashley, who I guess changes disposition based on which way the wind blows, ends it with a… dropkick? I won’t get this right, but Scott was pretty on point with the “flaming garbage pail full of manure” review.

Enough about current sucky wrestling, let’s get back to some great awful wrestling from the classic era! These muscle men definitely wouldn’t have talked about the hush money!

Inspired by Scott’s recent review of the awful Best of the WWF: Around the World tape, I thought I’d review some more terrible matches of an international flavour, featuring the likes of Raja Lion, the Great Antonio, the aging Sheik, Big Daddy and more!

Back with some more nightmare matches, kicking it off with one of the most unique cries of pain ever heard in a wrestling ring, although we’ve all been there, right fellas?

Inspired by Jabroniville’s “dream” matches that must come out of the dreams of Dr. Caligari and Cesare (not the one who did the giant swing), I’m going to look at some matches that are more infamous than famous.

First up, the Chamber of Horrors from Halloween Havoc 1991, followed up by the Bushwhackers against the Beverly Brothers from Royal Rumble 1992, then the Undertaker versus Giant Gonzales from WrestleMania IX, and finally the Clowns ‘r’ Us facing the Royal Family from Survivor Series 1994. “Special” bonus match of Tully Blanchard taking on Shane Douglas for the ECW heavyweight championship.

Let’s get ready to fumble!