Sonic Reviews

Hey everyone!  Sorry, I’m late with the Saturday Night’s Main Event Oh Wait That Never Happened on this Blog Evolve review, but I had to stay home and wait for a grocery delivery this morning, and figured, hey, no better time than now.  Tip your Instacart drivers, folks.  Of all the internet delivery jobs, I feel like they’ve got the toughest one, unless you live where Scott lives, in which case, tip your moose.

Let’s get to some Evolve action.

TOOOOOOO BEEEEEEE. TUBI.
THEN. NOW. MAMDANI. TOGETHER.

We head directly to the ring for our first match.

ADRENALINE DRIP VS. HARLEY RIGGINS & JAX PRESSLEY

The guy who looks like Odyssey Jones is back in the crowd as we begin with the long-awaited rubber match between these two teams.  They’ve been talking about this for so many weeks, they should just make Veer Mahaan the special guest ref.  As I finish this joke, Cap and Jack hit a double dive to the outside before the heels even hit the ring, and we get the Space Flying Tiger Drop from Jack before we even hit the 30-second mark.  Lots of aerial double-teaming leads to a two-count on Riggins.  Since the heels are twice as big as the faces, it’s not long before one of these attacks leads to Riggins tossing the hell out of Cap across the ring.  Big Daddy Green comes in and gets the backstabber on Cap for two.  I still like Cap, but he isn’t being featured, like, at all since his debut.  Riggins is back in, and I am aware I may be reversing who is Riggins and who is Pressley.  Hot tag to Jack Cartwheel, and these poor guys have to sell slaps from him like they’re death.  Cartwheel gets aggressive, then hits a crucifix driver for….no pin. Cap comes in with the froggy bow for two, but Riggins breaks up that pin.  The heels continue to manhandle the faces, and the faces continue to make the mistake of trying to match them blow by blow, in a nice touch of psychology.  Double-chokeslam on Cap gets broken up by Cartwheel as the action goes to the outside.  Cartwheel HITS HARLEY WITH HIS BOOT, leading to a big dive from Cap.  Cap gets out of another chokeslam attempt.  They go for the Flip N Sip, but that gets broken up by Pressley.  The pop-up into the spear finishes for the heels in a nice sprint.

WINNERS: HARLEY RIGGINS AND JAX PRESSLEY

MATCH RATING: B+
A hell of a sprint, as the faces knew their role, and the heels continue to show improvement every week.

RIGGINS/PRESSLEY: B+
These guys look better and better every week.  When you compare them to other developmental teams after just a few matches on TV, it feels like they’re way ahead of the curve.  There’s absolutely something here moving forward for both.

ADRENALINE DRIP: B+
I liked the psychology in trying to match the heels blow for blow but failing.  It feels like some of the ID talent have been de-emphasized lately, which is a shame for Cap, who still has a fun gimmick.

The heels attack after the match, now hitting their finisher on Cartwheel in order to put the exclamation point on winning the rubber match.  These guys against Swipe Right could be cool.

We get a recap of our goddess, Kendal Grey, successfully defending the Evolve Women’s Championship against Lash Legend on NXT in a nice moment.  Of anyone on this show, they are trying to tell you that this woman is someone, and she is.

PJ VASA VS. HAZE JAMESON

So is Haze back on the roster, or was this match tapes eons ago?  Either way, we love Haze on this review.  As a matter of fact, she is second on my depth chart following our goddess.  Depth chart for what, though?  I have no clue.  Penina looks strong entering the ring, and these two have probably trained together before because of the LFG connection.  Penina gets a shot in, and Haze is having none of it.  Penina doesn’t’ care, though, and gets some good strikes in in the corner.  Haze fights back, but gets muscled down coming out on the corner.  Haze hits a couple of dropkicks…..make that three, actually, and a DDT gets a two count, with Penina throwing her off the kickout.  Haze tries for a sleeper, and Penina’s like f this shit, hitting a falling headbutt.  The Issue finishes for Penina.

WINNER: PJ VASA

MATCH RATING: B
Like the cottage cheese with maple syrup I had for breakfast this morning, it did what it had to do.

VASA: B
There’s definitely a lot more presence here since her LFG days, although the in-ring isn’t really that different.  Ol Penina’s going to do just fine, though, once she gets some more experienced competition.

HAZE: B
If she was really cut, they made a big mistake, as Haze is a personality with a hell of a lot of potential. Squint and you see a better version of Candace LeRae.  She did her job well here, still showing a lot of spunk in putting the heel over.

Chuey Martinez is ringside with Vasa, who is dominating Evolve after just two weeks.  Everyone’s gotta come and get their issue.  Good promo.

Stevie Turner is STILL HERE, and Jackson Drake comes in to question her leadership.  Stevie and her very present boobs tell Drake to shut up.  Keanu Carver enters the frame to attack Drake, but winds up punching a hole in the wall.  Turner tells Keanu to calm down and that he has his rematch versus Drake.  Good segment.

Mike Cunningham, playing another cowboy, is backstage with Sean Legacy, who I thought was Stacks for a second, but is actually Marcus Mathers, looking very upset.  Mathers feels he let the ID program down by losing last week.  Mathers feels that the pressure is increasing with the new ID guys, to which Legacy responds with his facing Eli Knight next week.  Mathers is all what does this have to do with me and heads off.  Nice foreshadowing, and a potential money program there.  Since this is Evolve, by “money,” I mean about $1.50.

BROOKS JENSEN VS. MIKE CUNNINGHAM

You’d think they’d put the new guy over here versus the nowhere-going Jensen, but we shall see.  Cunningham kinda looks like Cowboy Bob Backlund coming to the ring, and I already like him more than Tate Wilder.  Nice size and build on Cunningham as well.  Stone tells us Cunningham only had his first match a year ago, and the ascent to ID talent, knowing that, is pretty impressive.  Brooks gets an armbar, and Cunningham moves pretty well in there, hitting two armdrags and kicking out of a headscissors from Brooks. Brooks escapes an armbar with a slam, but Miek kicks out.  Nice athleticism thus far from Cunningham, and he hits a downright beautiful dropkick for two.  Man, there’s a little David Von Erich in there as well with him.  Jensen fights back, hitting a big right hand, but Cunningham continues to fight back.  Neckbreaker from Jensen only gets a two count.  BIG whip into the corner from Jensen, sold well by Cunningham.  Mike continues to fight back, but eats a Russian leg sweep for two.  Jensen goes to the chinlock.  Mike escapes.  Jensen gets sent into the turnbuckle off a kickout, and they’re exchanging blows in the middle of the ring, with Mike getting the best of the exchange.  BIG flying clothesline from Cunningham, as we namedrop his being a Nightmare Factory student.  BIG missile dropkick off the top gets two for him.  More pin reversals lead to Cunningham attempting a cutter off the second rope, but eating a kick from Jensen for the three.

WINNER: BROOKS JENSEN

MATCH RATING: B+
Not the ending I’d have gone with, but a hell of a back and forth here.  I’m pleasantly surprised.

CUNNINGHAM: A-
Well, that’s a hell of a first impression.  Great look.  Crisp ringwork.  Good selling.  Really WAY above where you’d expect a guy a year into his career to be.  Cody connection. I’d really keep my eye on this dude.

JENSEN: B+
We bust on Brooks like crazy, but he’s carving out a nice niche as a capable vet down here, and dare I say he may be showing some improvement of his own as well?

Another Aaron Rourke segment.  Others have defined him by who they thought he was, but all that changes once he joined Create-a-Pro wrestling.  They told him to allow all these things he tried to hide to thrive.  He is as ruthless, aggressive, and evil as he is flamboyant.  Another home run here, albeit a shorter segment than the previous two weeks.  They need this dude under a real contract, like, yesterday.

Our main event is next!

Kali Armstrong returns next week, but why?  Get this woman to NXT already.

Jackson Drake is backstage again with Stevie Turner, and he is still concerned about Keanu Carver.  Stevie reminds Drake that Keanu DID win a #1 contender’s match, but has not gotten his match because the rest of the Vanity Project broke his hand.  Stevie gives Drake a choice: either face Keanu Carver for the title or vacate the title.  Drake chooses to bite his tongue.

CHANTEL MONROE VS. WENDY CHOO

Wendy has changed her makeup a bit, but everything else about her entrance remains the same.  Kelly Kincaid does the big match intros, and I’m really liking her as a potential full-time ring announcer one day.  Chantel takes Wendy down to start, but makes the mistake of gloating.  Of course, Wendy takes Chantel down and does a bit of less-creepy-than-before staring at her.  Test of strength leads to Wendy monkey-flipping Chantel down for two.  Wendy hits the armbar, which Chantel escapes by procuring a leg-scissors.  Wendy escapes and procuuuures a headlock of her own.  Wendy’s moving really well in there, as this face turn’s made her a much better character.  She telegraphs the back bodydrop, though, and pays for it as Chantel takes control.  Wendy fights back with some shots and a neckwringer on the mat.  Big kick, followed by a low DDT of sorts, from Wendy.  Chantel gets her on the ropes, though, and hits a neckbreaker.  None of these back-and-forths are being given time to breathe.  They’re still going back and forth as we return from break, with Chantel hitting another neckbreaker. Chantel continues her focus on the neck.  Good presence from her thus far.  Another legscissors around the neck by Chantel, as the focus on the neck has been well-emphasized here.  The crowd gets behind Wendy, who escapes, only to run into a double-clothesline spot.  Both ladies are slow to get up as we begin to exchange strikes.  Wendy hits the comeback with a couple of clotheslines and spinebuster for two. Both reverse pinfall attempts, as it’s that part of the match, and a big brainbuster gets two for Wendy.  Wendy tries a charge into the post, but eats an elbow and an inverted tornado DDT for two.  Wendy misses another charge, but Chantel gets caught up in the ropes, allowing Wendy to cinch in the Dirt Nap.  Chantel hits a TKO, but misses a splash, and hits the Dirt Nap again.  Chantel escapes, neck hits rope, and the Perfect Ending finishes for Chantel.

WINNER: CHANTEL MONROE

MATCH RATING: B-
A bit of sloppiness, but the psychology was solid, and this certainly can be considered the best Chantel Monroe match thus far.

CHANTEL: B-
Still more work here to do, but this was easily her best performance thus far in Evolve.  She’s improving.

CHOO: B+
I love face Wendy Choo, I have to say.  Let’s see more than her putting young folks over.

We end the show with Jackson Drake and Stevie Turner again, and Drake agrees to face Keanu Carver for the title NEXT WEEK.  Should be fun.

OVERALL RATING: B+
I honestly read Leighty’s review last night, and wasn’t expecting a whole lot.  This exceeded expectations as, while not the most star-powered of shows, it was one full of some pretty nifty ringwork for this level.

See y’all next week.

I’m a day late with Evolve last week.  I was actually masquerading as Tony Schiovane last night in order to get revenge on my arch nemesis, but it was actually a 1986 Tony, and all I got was dry-humped by someone dressed as David Crockett.  Anyways, I’m hopeful tonight is a more eventful episode of Evolve than last week, so let’s get to it.

TOOOO. BEEEE. TUBI.
THEN. NOW. FOREVER. TOGETHER.

Just like that, I faint, as we begin with Kendal Grey walking into the PC in a leather outfit.  Dead.  Get the smelling salts.

Quickly to the ring we go, though.  Whew.

MASYN HOLIDAY VS. JIN TALA

Making the poor girl put over the lower-card talent on the way out, I see.  Masyn does a very choreographed dance, and Leigh’s got the biggest “I just got fired” boo boo face ever on the way to the ring.  Jin tries a couple of kicks and winds up taking Masyn down, in probably the best actual wrestling exchange I’ve seen her do.  Masyn reverses and takes Jin down as well, locking in the headlock.  Jin tries to reverse for two.  Masyn takes Jin down with a shoulderblock. They almost screw up a leapfrog, and a flying bodypress gets two for Masyn.  Jin goes back on the attack with some kicks and chokes Masyn against the ropes.  Jin with some more punches, and a BIG uppercut gets two.  Hell of a time to look the best you’ve ever looked in the ring.  Jin wraps her legs around Masyn in a full nelson-like manner and turns this into a rather good submission spot for both.  Masyn reverses a slam, but eats a boot in the corner.  More kicks from Jin get two.  Jin goes for her own headlock, and Masyn’s selling is commendable here.  Masyn comes back, though, with some forearms and a neckbreaker.  A random-ass standing splash……gets the three for Masyn?  Alrighty then.

WINNER: MASYN HOLIDAY

MATCH RATING: B-
Weird ending aside, these two probably put on their best individual performances so far.  Really, kudos to both.  The action was mostly crisp, and the selling and psychology were good for their level.

MASYN: B
While that’s definitely not a good finisher for, she very much exceeded expectations here, mostly by selling very well and having some decent fire with her comeback.  She definitely still needs a moveset, but this is the first time I saw something here.

JIN: B+ A+
Sad to see her go, as this was the first time I really saw her potential as well.  The leap frog spot was a potential disaster, but her kicks were great, her intensity was solid and, for the first time, you really saw her get into that heel mindset.  It was a big step up for her.  Why am I changing my grade to an A+, though?  I do because, while her time in the WWE was brief, she caught enough ot the bug to now make a go of it on the indies. She seems like a really nice person, she sure is dating someone with some wrestling talent, and I hope Lady Leigh one day finds her way back to the WWE.

Masyn continues to dance on the ramp, and here’s Bigg Jah to dance with her.  I think he’s just moved in to the PC.  Someone contact Planning and Zoning.

Tate Wilder brags about his victory in the “bullrope match” versus Brooks Jensen.  A thrillseeker like Tate Wilder can’t stand still, and what’s next is a triple-threat between Wilder, Laredo Kid, and Marcus Mathers.  One of these things is not like the other.

UP NEXT, we get to meet the new WWE ID prospects. We barely knew ya, Sam Holloway.  Is he still around?

Wendy Choo is back with her psychoanalyst on Raw.  She mentions watching AJ Lee (the wrestler, not the tag team) on Raw, and feeling something for the first time.  Wendy is able to identify feelings of anger when thinking of Chantel Monroe insulting her in a promo.  Wendy never gave herself compassion, and everyone, including Chantel, is going to see a new side of Wendy Choo.  Of note here is that Wendy is more versed in clinical speak than the therapist.

Back in the ring, Chuey Martinez is in the ring with three guys much smaller than him.  Hey, someone needs to work AAA.  I assume these are the new ID prospects.  Chuey introduces us to Mike Cunningham, trained by Cody Rhodes at the Nightmare Factory.  He’s only had about fifty matches, and it’s a dream come true to have the opportunity.  From North Carolina, we’ve got Jha’Quan McNair, trained by the one and only, Lodi.  He looks forward to making his name in Evolve.  Last, we’ve got Eli Knight, from Reality of Wrestling.  He learned a lot from Booker T and Ace Steel, and he’s going to make his name heard.  With that, Brooks Jensen interrupts.  If Vince was still in charge, Jensen would kick all three of their asses, but I’m guessing that’s not what we get here.  Jensen calls himself the baddest man from Ala-bam-bam-bam-ba.  Jensen verbally talks down all three guys.  Jensen tells Cunningham to talk to him once he hits puberty, and Cunningham lays down the challenge.  Brooks tells Mike to not make him embarrass him.  This was good enough for government work if the government was actually working.

Another Aaron Rourke promo, mentioning his athletic and performing arts background in high school.  This is where he found his competitiveness.  His two idols are Trish Stratus and Lita, and it was because of them that he realized there was a spot for him in wrestling.  Again, this was great, as they allowed him to be unapologetically a queer male wrestler and a strong babyface.  Get him to add some muscle and this dude could print money.

Stevie Turner is STILL backstage with the Vanity Project.  Jackson Drake wants the Keanu Carver issue resolved, and will not wrestle him while he has a cast on.  Stevie informs him that Keanu’s been cleared to wrestle with said cast on, and he will be facing Jackson for the title in two weeks.  Drake claims bias and walks away.

TATE WILDER VS. LAREDO KID VS. MARCUS MATHERS

Mathers gets to cut a backstage promo, telling us he’s going to show the world why he’s the finest.  These smaller guys would do great on an expanded AAA. They start of quick, all getting roll-ups on each other.  Wilder gets shoulder blocks on both guys, and the size differential is pretty noticeable, as Tate towers them both.  Double kick by Marcus and Kid sends Tate to the outside.  Laredo gets his kicks in on Marcus.  Big forearm to the face followed by a Michonuku driver and two corkscrew sentons from Kid get two on Marcus, as Tate breaks the pin up. Wilder takes Kid down a with a big clothesline.  Belly to back suplex gets two for Tate, who doesn’t belong in this match, like, at all.  Marcus gets some nice chops and strikes in on Tate.  Laredo sends Marcus into Tate, but that fails, and Marcus continues to get his shit in on both guys in impressive manner. Laredo hits a jackhammer gone almost very wrong on Marcus as we go to break.  We return to Laredo still in control against Mathers.  Wilder returns to the ring, but gets clotheslined over the top by Kid.  Suicide dive takes out both Tate and Mathers.  Kid throws Wilder back in the ring.  Laredo attempts to come into the ring, but gets tripped up on the apron and taken out by Marcus.  Tate takes Mathers down, and hits a shooting star press from the apron onto the floor on both.  Nice.  Fine, Wilder, take your compliment, you Jason Bateman meets Paul Diamond looking mofo.  Three-man tower of doom spot happens, and Laredo gets a two-count on Wilder.  The crowd chants “uno mas,” and Laredo winds up missing a moonsault.  Mathers hits the boom kick, and a twisting suplex for a two-count which gets broken up by Tate Wilder.  All three guys are down.  Mathers and Wilder are up first. They exchange blows, and Marcus gets some nasty chops in. Marcus goes to the top, Wilder goes for the Spanish fly, but they both land on their feet.   Tate hits a twisting suplex on Kid, which is followed by a 450 from Mathers onto Kid.  Tate immediately picks up Mathers and powerbombs him, leading to a moonsault by Tate for three. Bah.

WINNER: TATE WILDER

MATCH RATING: B
Some mostly solid and fast action here, especially by Mathers and Laredo Kid.

MATHERS: A
Man, I thought Marcus looked great here, mixing in some nice heelish touches with some great both aerial and ground work.  This guy I could see doing a lot of NXT and international work for the promotion.  Yes, sir.

LAREDO KID: A-
We already know he’s a consummate pro, so there’s little more to say here.  He played his part well, and was very over.

WILDER: C+
There were a couple of pretty spots but, Jesus, the rest was so, so pedestrian compared to his opponents.  Yes, he could keep up with the pace.  Let’s give him credit for that.  He was the third best wrestler in the match, though, yet the only one actually under WWE contract.

Wilder shakes hands with both Mathers and Laredo Kid in a nice show of sportsmanship.  I keep waiting for Mathers to beat his ass, but it never happens, as we cut to a Chantel Monroe promo on Wendy Choo.  She’s happy Wendy got the help that she needed, and accepts her challenge for a match.  Chantel’s going to slap some sense into her when they meet.  Choo will be a good test for her and, is it just me, but does new Wendy Choo kind of have it goin on?

Grey is the new gold next!

It’s Gal is looking for a new partner to help him get those gains, and apply baby oil to those spots you can’t reach.  Gal brings up the Steiner Brothers, who get only a 9.3 on the Gal-o-Meter. The Dudleys didn’t spend enough time getting gains for Gal, and he gives them a 6.8.  Gal is worried that he’s losing gains by not having a partner.  He’s killing it with this.

Adrenaline Drip hype segment gets interrupted by a Jax Pressley/Harley Riggins segment.  They are blue chip athletes, if you don’t know.  We get highlights of their first two matches.  There’s a rubber match happening…..at some point.

We get a recap of Kendal Grey beating Kali Armstrong for the tile, which Dave Meltzer liked so much he thinks Kendal should go straight to the main roster.  While I feel the love in my heart, I do think she needs a bit more developmental polish in order to stand out against the top names.

Here’s our goddess, accompanied by Carlee Bright.  I’m not sure why Kendal hangs out with Wren Sinclair everywhere else, but only with Carlee here.  Carlee is giving off big Georgia from “Ginny and Georgia” vibes tonight.  Also, making the WrenQCC them two, Carlee, and Karmen Petrovic would not be the worst idea.  Kendal has the mic, and calls the belt validation, as it means the past two years have finally paid off.  Kendal puts over Kali Armstrong, and talks about how she asked herself how she could beat the unbeatable.  Kendal says she dragged Kali into the Grey area, again puts over the amateur wrestling record, and says it helped her defeat Kali.  The only person who steps out of the Grey area alive is Kendal Grey.  Carlee, meanwhile, is in the background, looking like she’s ready to marry the mayor of some poor New England town and ruin his life…….AND HERE’S P-NASTY TO ATTACK!!!!  P-Nasty, now PJ Vasa, attacks both ladies, and takes Kendal out with a hell of a finisher she calls “The Issue.”  This was both a money promo from Kendal, and a hell of a first impression from Vasa.  My only complaint is that starting Vasa on top means there’s only way to go for her.

OVERALL RATING: A-
Solid stuff tonight, with a very good closing segment, a mostly solid three-way, new talent introduced, and a better-than-expected opener.  I still want to see more development here on a weekly basis, but this was a good start.

See you next week.

Hey, everyone.  Welcome to what I think will be the start of a “Season Two,” or soft reset of Evolve, following last week’s special “Succession” event.  There’s also been quite a bit of consolidation of talent at this level of development in recent weeks, a lot of talent in need of a spot following two seasons of LFG, and the figurehead for the entire show has been released.  I expect this to be pretty different than last week.

Did I forget to mention the new champ?  I’m sure we’ll see lots of her.

TOO. BEE. TUBI.

THEN. NOW. FOREVER. TOGETHER.

We begin with……Big Jah, again.  He’s the acting guest GM tonight.

The Vanity Project, with Zayda Steel still in tow, is out here. I may have to slow my roll here with the changes tonight.  Rosenberg and Stone talk up Jackson Drake retaining his title against Bryce Donovan.  Zayda has the mic first and ironically calls Donovan not being here “addition by subtraction.”  This randomly brings Keanu Carver again, held back by security, but he’s met by Big Jah, who calms Keanu down, booking the Vanity Project in a six-man tonight against Keanu Carver and……….OTM?  I guess they need the reps.  They TOWER Swipe Right, and hit stereo chokeslams on them.  Drake goes to leave the ring, but Keanu is blocking his way.  Keanu attempts to sneak up on him, but Drake rolls out of the ring.  Lost in all this was that Big Jah actually wasn’t bad in his role.

Sean Legacy will be facing Edris Enofe tonight, and we get a recap of how we got to the match, which included Enofe taking out Legacy as he was attempting to lay claim to a spot in the #1 contender’s match a few weeks ago.  THAT MATCH IS NEXT.

Wendy Choo sits in a psychoanalyst’s office.  Wendy describes herself as disassociated and disconnected in life, and how that resulted in her not talking.  She cannot keep carrying all the disappointments anymore.  When she asked what not doing so would be, Wendy doesn’t know.  This wasn’t bad at all, and it showed us a side of Wendy we’ve really never seen, even after 634 years in NXT.

Chuey Martinez is backstage with Chantel Monroe. Chuey brings up Wendy’s going to therapy.  While Chantel believes in therapy, there are no pills in this world to save Wendy.  If Wendy runs her mouth, she’ll wind up in physical therapy next.  Ha.

EDRIS ENOFE VS. “SUPER” SEAN LEGACY

These two middle-aged ladies in the crowd brings signs for anyone, I swear.  If Temu had a Temu, they’d be the Green Shirt Guy of that Temu Temu.  Legacy high-fives the bastard child of Morgan Wallen and Benson Boone as he heads to the ring.  Don’t picture that.  Picture what that would sound like, as in the stuff of nightmares.  I kind of do like Benson, though.  Legacy goes to work on Edris with some punches, an atomic drop, and the standing moonsault gets two, as Edris rolls out of the ring.  Legacy goes for the dive, but Edris catches him, throws in him back in the ring, and gets a series of two-counts.  Edris continues on the attack with nothing particularly exciting as the crowd chants for Legacy. Enofe actually hits a flying elbow off the top for two as this heat segment has probably gone on for too long for a guy whose contract wasn’t renewed.  Legacy trips Enofe up and hits some sort of 619 looking thing.  Legacy with a series of kicks, a German suplex, and a flying enziguri in the corner.  Shambles gets the three.

WINNER: SEAN LEGACY

MATCH RATING: B Perfectly cromulent, and pretty decisive at the end, although I wouldn’t have given this much offense to a guy leaving the promotion.

LEGACY: B+
He’s lost a little bit of his original shine, although it’s all due to booking, and not anything he’s actually done.  I hope we get him back on track here, as the potential is still pretty big.

ENOFE: B
I’m guessing this is it.  I always liked him, as a character as unapologetically black is his is hard to come by.  There’s certainly ability there.  He’s just not that interesting a dude.  Know where that profile might do well?  The other Wednesday night show.

A woman missing a front tooth holds up a sign for Legacy.  For the love of God, this crowd.

Chuey meets up with Legacy at ringside.  Edris is in the rear view mirror, and Legacy has his sights set on the next Evolve special, even it means going after the Evolve championship.  Legacy brings up Timothy Thatcher, and says it’s time for him to come back. Hmmm.

Big Jah has a huge surprise for Zayda Steel tonight.  I’m not mature enough to follow that up properly.  Also, an LFG prospect will make their debut next week on the show, which is more in line with what I’m expecting moving forward.

Tubi has Pampers commercials instead of ICE recruitment ads.  Be more like Tubi.

Stevie Turner is somehow still here, and is with Big Jah.  Layla Diggs and Masyn Holiday hand Big Jah a headshot, with Jah making it clear that he is GM Big Jah, and not director Big Jah, tonight.  Also, Laredo Kid will on the show next week, in case you were wondering about his status.  That’s random, but kind of awesome.  Stevie and Jah book Laredo vs. Marcus Mathers vs. Tate Wilder in a three-way next week.

Jax Pressley and Harley Riggins feel they got trapped by Adrenaline Drip last week, and it feels like the rubber match between the two is next week.  Dudes need promo work.

BIG JAH’S HUGE SURPRISE VS. ZAYDA STEEL

The entire Vanity Project is out with Zayda, and the surprise is……..Thea Hail?  Well, at least we know she’s alive.  Again, this should be as close to a squash as possible.  Both these ladies are pretty much wearing the same outfit, although Thea has fishnets on. Zayda begs off an early assault, gets denied a fist bump, and takes Thea down by the hair.  Zayda dances, which allows Thea to get up and attack.  Thea tries to yank Zayda to the middle of the ring, but just winds up dropping her on her face.  Vanity Project distracts Thea enough for Zayda to take over with knees to the face.  Zayda gets some kicks in the corner, hitting the knee to the face in the opposite corner.  This match should have been over already.  Zayda does a bunch of Heel 101 stuff, but gets rolled up for two by Hail.  Backslide gets two for Thea, as Zayda axes her down again. Thea escapes a facelock, and we get the comeback.  Thea with a couple of axehandles of her own, followed by a fisherman’s buster. World’s Strongest Slam, and springboard senton gets two for Thea.  Thea steps on Ricky Smokes’ foot, which allows Zayda to roll her up for two.  Thea randomly locks the Kimura in for the tap.

WINNER: THEA HAIL

MATCH RATING: C-  The shit was this?  This was a case of a middling star getting dragged way down by an inferior opponent.

THEA: C
We all know Thea can be a lot of fun, but it just wasn’t there tonight.  She sold way too much, and even her crowd interaction was off.  A wasted cameo.

ZAYDA: D
Good riddance.  Just zero improvement shown while under contract.

Vanity Project and Zayda yell at each other.

It’s Gal brungs out his Stud-O-Meter, and he’s here to rank wrestlers.  Gal brings up John Cena, but not the current version, but the Prototype.  Gal calls the Prototype an inspiration, and gives him a 9.5.  He then brings up……..The Ringmaster, Steve Austin.  He calls Austin pale and gives him an 8.7.  I was waiting to see if Saba Simba was next.  That was really weird.

YOUR MAIN EVENT IS NEXT!

Another Aaron Rourke vignette.  Even though he hails from Sparkle City, he grew up in Long Island, NY.  Aaron talks about being bullied relentlessly, and not being allowed to be who he wanted to be.  Aaron knew who he was, and he couldn’t change that.  Wrestling became an escape for him and, while he didn’t know how he was going to get there, he knew he would.  We get a “to be continued” as we cut to Brooks Jensen and Stevie Turner.  That was awesome.  Really.  That promo makes me want to see more of that guy.

Jensen (in a Thunderbolt Patterson shirt) and Stevie (and Jah) discuss what’s next for Brooks Jensen.  Jensen feels screwed by the Vanity Project, but is told he needs to earn his next title shot.  Stevie has new WWE ID contracts in her hand, and three new signees will be present next week.

The Vanity Project, plus a hurting Zayda Steel, are still in the ring.

JACKSON DRAKE AND SWIPE RIGHT (BRAD BAYLOR AND RICKY SMOKES) VS. KEANU CARVER AND OTM (LUCIEN PRICE AND BRONCO NIMA)

Kelly does the big match intros and, I have to say, she looks absolutely lovely.  Keanu is growing more into the mini-Oba role every time I see them, and Temu Temu Green Shirt Guys are now holding up OTM signs.  Drake goes after…..I’ve never figured out who is Lucien and who is Bronco, TBH, but the guy with the braids hits some impressive power stuff on him before tagging in Carver.  Drake tags out to Ricky Smokes, who obviously can’t do much against the much bigger guy.  Shorter-haired OTM comes in and immediately takes Brad Baylor down. Baylor upsets who I know now is Lucien Price, and eats a big chop for his troubles.  Vanity Project are doing a wonderful job acting as rag dolls here, as they clearly understand the assignment.  Bronco Nima looks more like a Lucien Price than a Bronco Nima, I must say.  As psychology would dictate, a Vanity Project distraction leads to Jackson Drake chop-blocking whoever the hell that one is, as I’ve already lost track, and we go to break. We come back to Ricky Smokes still under the attack, getting Nima in their corner.  Smokes can’t suplex Nima, so he kicks him in the leg and gets him back in the heel corner.  Baylor gets tagged in, as this is great formula stuff.  Baylor DDT’s Nima for two. More quick tags and double-teaming from the VP keeps Nima down.  Nima tries to come back, but Baylor gets him on the ropes again, eating a kick to the head from Jackson Drake.  Smokes gets the choke on Numa, but Nima finally escapes in makes the tag to Lucien Price, who goes to town, trucking all three of the smaller talent.  Again, though, the wily heels get the best of the bigger face.  A double-suplex attempt by Swipe Right is reversed by Price, and he finally tags Carver in.  Of course, there’s Drake to take the first show.  Keanu ragdolls Swipe Right and hits the POUNCE on Jackson Drake.  Drake gets out of Keanu’s finisher, and Drake goes for the injured arm.  OTM and Swipe Right fight on the outside, leaving our two main characters in the ring.  Drake charges at Carver, but gets knocked out by the cast for three.

WINNERS: KEANU CARVER AND OTM

MATCH RATING: B Give all six of these guys another two years in the biz, and they will have an even better version of this classic formula.  Even in this iteration, while the rust on some of the talent on the face side showed, this is story you can tell for ages and a crowd will get into it.

VANITY PROJECT: A
They knew EXACTLY what their role was here, and they played it to perfection.  These three have been the unquestionable stars of the ID program, and I say let’s give them some full time contracts already.

KEANU/OTM: B
While Keanu is really coming into his own, OTM has been out of action for a while, and the rust was evident.  They know what they’re doing in there, but it wasn’t the smoothest ride.  They’ll get there, as their improvement from their TV debut is impressive as hell.  These guys were two complete stiffs at first.

The default faces celebrate in the ring as the show ends.

OVERALL RATING: B Two of the three matches weren’t bad, and I’d dare say the main was pretty damn fun.  I expected a lot more here, and suspect the actual new taping cycle starts for next wee, where it does seem like we’re getting an influx of new talent, plus Kendal’s championship celebration.  See you then.

I thought this was going to be two hours, but apparently, it’s only one hour.  Thanks, Obama.

I experimented with dictating my review onto MS Word while watching last night.  This was a very bad idea, as editing the nonsense it spat out took forever, and there were stretches in which I had no idea what I was even trying to say.  You win some., you lose some.

THEN. NOW. ANDRADE IS A MORON. FOREVER.

We begin with a trip on the wayback machine to the original Evolve, featuring shots of Cody Rhodes, Drew Galloway, Porky WALTER, Johnny Gargano, and the Street Profits, and that’s a connection I never knew of until this very moment. We then transition to the WWE version of the show, with Shawn Michaels and the current stars featured.  We get a funny shot of Brooks Jensen being described as a “dweller on the threshold.” Yeah, the threshold of jobbing on ROH in a few months. Tonight, Jackson Drake will be facing Bryce Donovan for the Evolve Men’s title in a match somehow, and don’t ask me how, made necessary by Seth Rollins’ injury.  That Seth, screwing up everything for the daily threaders. Tate Wilder somehow gets a match on the biggest Evolve event ever versus Jensen tonight. I really thought for a second Kendal would win last night, then go on to beat Kali and eventually challenge Jacy Jayne, title versus title, but they’re just not as good bookers as I am. We are in front of a full NXT crowd, which should be cool. Luckily for me, I don’t remember the results of the spoilers that were posted when this thing was initially taped.

BRYCE DONOVAN VS. JACKSON DRAKE (EVOLVE MEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH)

We get a briefing on the origins of the Vanity Project, complete with the now-defunct Evolve VIP section (RIP.) We get a further look at the history between Drake and Donovan, leading up to their breakup last week. Yes, last week, just enough time to set up this hot title match.

Donovan definitely has a bit of a young Drew McIntyre energy to him as a babyface. The Vanity Project comes out, and Zayda Steel is still here, meaning this was definitely taped earlier. It’s really nice to see these folks in front of a full NXT crowd, I have to say. Of note as well is Referee Hottie officiating the match, plus MIKE F’ING ROME is doing the intros.  They spare no expense around here. There are some veins actually coming out of Jackson Drake’s physique. He must have walked by a Gold’s Gym along the way. Drake slaps the hell out of Donovan to start, and he immediately gets taken down with the black hole slam for a quick two. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen this quickly. Also, nice leather cargo pants on Steele. Are you sure you don’t want that WWE ID stipend? Bryce with a clothesline into the corner, and a big takedown across the ring. Drake is selling the hell out of this, and it works. Bryce comes in with another clothesline into the post, sending Drake into the ropes and hitting a big flapjack. Donovan goes for the Ten Beats of the Developmental School in the middle of the ring, then takes Drake down by the head. Bryce is definitely in control here. Brad Baylor gets on the apron and gets clotheslined for his troubles. Ricky Smokes gets taken down as well. That offers enough of a distraction for Drake to take Donovan down again. Suddenly, here’s Keanu Carver being held back by security. I hate to tell you, but Keanu could probably take down all three of those guys in a shoot.  We cut to break and, once we return, Carver has magically disappeared, and Drake is back in charge. Drake takes down Donovan with a leg whip, holding onto the foot and getting him into a half Boston crab in a nice little sequence. Jackson tries to reach the ropes, and Swipe Right is standing right there, doing nothing. Donovan reaches for Ricky Smokes and, again, this leads to Drake taking control and going to work further on the leg, Drake misses a charge to the turnbucle and here comes Donovan with a big boot, followed by a big back bodydrop. Donovan measures Drake up and hits a series of pretty decent punches, hitting a big pop-up power bomb and fist bump for two. Donovan’s face stuff looks pretty tight. Drake escapes a choke slam and hits him back in the leg, sending Donovan to the outside. Jackson goes for another tope off the top, and winds up getting chokeslammed onto the apron which, as you know, is the hardest part of the ring. Donovan misses a charge to the post on the outside, hitting the steps. Drake dropkicks Donovan’s knee into the steps, head to the top and hits a nice senton. That only gets two, though. The chyron tells us to follow the path of WWE ID prospects on X, but, really, they’ve all been released. Both guys end up on the mat, and here comes the big comeback to get the yay/no punch segments with of course, “Yay” getting the better of things. Donovan can’t hit the chokeslam again and meets a big kick by Drake. Drake goes to the second rope and there’s, finally, a huge chokeslam off the second rope. takes his time going for two, but Drake gets his leg on the rope. Good spot there. Donovan tries to lift Drake  over his shoulders, but Drake escapes and chopblocks the back of the knee. Drake hits the big double knee to the back of the head, followed by hitting the second knee to the face for the easy three.

WINNER AND STILL MEN’S EVOLVE CHAMP: JACKSON DRAKE

MATCH RATING: B Solid action here, with the clean pin somewhat surprising (well, as of this edit, Donovan’s no longer with the WWE, sooo…..), but both guys performed their roles well.

DRAKE: A
Everything I’ve said before about him applies here.  He’s a blue-chipper, and one of the absolute success stories of the first class of ID talent.

DONOVAN: B
I think he acquitted himself well as a face here, with good offense and selling throughout.  Wherever his career takes him from here, he’s in a better place because of his time in Evolve.  Happy trails.

The still-employed as of this time Stevie Turner is backstage on the phone, and some dude named Big Jah enters the picture. I’m normally pretty good with the pop culture stuff, but I haven’t a clue who this is. I will find out so that I’m not that guy on the daily thread still asking who Bad Bunny is. What I just described was pretty much the entire segment, though.

Up next, Brooks Jensen and Tate Wilder will do their best to channel Dusty Rhodes and Terry Funk. Spoiler: they’re not going to be able to do it. They’ll be lucky to get to Dirty Rhodes and Jimmy Jack Funk.

We get an Adrenaline Drip promo, and Cartwheel is actually not wearing the worst hoodie I’ve ever seen. I could rock that. They’re up for a rubber match with Jax Pressley and Harley Riggins.

Chuey Martinez is backstage with Leyla Diggs, Masyn Holliday, and Wendy Choo, who doesn’t seem happy to be here. Wendy gets asked for her opinion on something, but apparently, she has lost the ability to talk again. Chantel Monroe enters the picture, and Choo walks away. Dear Lord, that was pointless.

TATE WILDER VS. BROOKS JENSEN (BULLROPE MATCH)

I have absolutely zero expectations for this, like absolutely zero. Anything above these guys tripping over the bullrope and dying will get five stars for me. Two people actually have Tate Wilder signs in the crowd, which scares me, although they look like the same women who bring the weirdo signs to the PC for Evolve every week. This is not a four corners match, as you can win via pin or submission. These entrances only feel like they’re taking forever. These two numbnuts are now attached by the bull rope and begin to play a tug-of-war with each other. Remember about ten people were released last week and these two stuck around. We get all sorts of moves you wouldn’t imagine seeing in a bullrope match. Can’t wait for one of them to hit a tope.  Brooks nails Tate with a handful of rope, and he wears the crimson mask.  Of course he doesn’t. Brooks misses the bell shot to the head, hitting the post, and getting a boo-boo on his head. I don’t know how many moves have actually been utilized this match, and I’m having trouble caring. At some point, Brooks goes to the second rope and hits an axe-handle to the back of the head. The ropes are barely attached to these guys. In the first bit of actual “violence,” Jensen wraps the rope around Tate’s mouth. He grabs the cowbell, but can’t nail him with it.  Brooks hits some elbows to the back of the head. Somebody finally gets lashed with the rope, as Brooks begins to go to town, and you actually see the faintest of marks on Tate Wilder. Tate likes the pain though, and starts to make the comeback with some rope punches.  Tate hits a vertical suplex, as I wonder what inappropriate moves they’ll bust out this match.  Maybe a Space Flying Tiger Drop. This reaches the 95-minute mark , and both guys come up and exchange punches.  The crowd barely cares, and Tate gets a shot to the throat.  He then goes for a springboard move off the second rope, and winds up getting hit like a friggin dork. They play with their stupid little rope and, finally, Wilder nails a powerbomb. Do we finish with a moonsault off the top in a bullrope match?  Of course we do.

WINNER: TATE WILDER

MATCH RATING: C
Merely really, really pedestrian than outright bad, this match could have probably been an email.

JENSEN: C
For a couple of weeks there, you saw the emergence of this old-school character which may have been fun, but it was just a mirage.  This is the same Brooks as always, who will help get some of the young guys over before being shown the door when his deal is up.

WILDER: C-
You can tell they’d love to get a cowboy character over, but this dude is showing more and more every week he’s not it.  Just a generic CAW to the core.

Another WWE ID promotional clip showing us the usual stars, They announce some new prospects coming soon, which isn’t surprising.  The first class was certainly hit and miss, but the hits have been solid.

I realize now, for the first time, that Blake Howard is actually doing play-by-play tonight. He’s honestly not doing a bad job. We go to a recap of how we got to this point with Kali Armstrong and Kendal Gray, with shots of Kali continuing to wreck fools, including both Natalya and Kylie Rae. Meanwhile, we see our goddess defeating Chantel Moore a couple of weeks back and earning her title shot.

KALI ARMSTRONG VS. KENDAL GREY (EVOLVE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH)

This should obviously be the match of the night, and I’m feeling rather hopeful since we didn’t get a title change match and Kendal did so well on the NXT battle royal last night. It really is her time to elevate her here.

Before all this, though, we get an Aaron Rourke segment, and he’s all glammed up and looking in the mirror. Also, never scroll Instagram while reviewing this show as I just saw a picture of Kendal with the title around her waist.  WE ARE GOING TO IGNORE THAT.  Even before all this, though, we get Sean Legacy backstage with Stevie Turner, asking for a match with Edris Enofe, and here’s that damn Big Jah again. Masyn and Leyla try to sweet talk him.  Alrighty, then.

After about 14 hours, Kendal Gray finally comes to the ring. Kendal is actually celebrating two years in WWE, which is pretty amazing, but that was a rather lengthy run doing absolutely nothing in NXT. We finally get to our ring introductions from Mike Rome. We quickly start with a whole lot of shoving, and Kali mounts Kendal and hits a whole bunch of punches. Kali gets some body shots in, and throws Kendal into the post again. The third attempt at posting Kendal doesn’t work, as she reverses, and hits some strikes and chops of her own. Kendal attempts to lock on the cross-armbreaker, which Kali reverses for a two count. Both women get up, and Kali sends Kendal into the post. We get a crisp criss-cross sequence ending in Kendal tripping Kali down, then hitting a low drop kick to the head. Kendall hits a big cross body off the top of the outside. Very nice crossbody, with even some froggy elements there. Back in the ring, Kali takes advantage again, and the fight moves to the apron. Kali goes for a piledriver on the apron , but we’re not committing murder here tonight. Kendal gets back in the ring, tries for a springboard move, and gets a chop to the mid-section for her efforts.  On the outside, Kendal gets sent to the apron, which you know is the hardest part of the ring. That happens again three times as we go to break.We return to Kali hitting a series of elbows and knees to the face for two. Nice selling here by Kendal. Kendal eventually gets the comeback with a series of elbows,  and a big overhead throw off the ropes. Are the straps gonna come down? I think the straps might come down. It’s a false alarm, though, as the straps don’t come down. They go outside, and Kendal hits a springboard DDT.  She again climbs the ropes but gets caught by Kali. Kali tries for a German suplex from there, but it gets reversed. Back in the ring, Kali goes for a superplex once again, but gets knocked off. Kali actually finally hits the big superplex for two in a nice spot. An excellent surprise. Kali hits a solid snap powerslam for a very close two-count and begins the setup for the Kali Connection, even adding a a couple of extra reps off the ropes to really poince the hell out of her.  Kali goes for the Kali Connection…..but Kendal reverses it into a powerslam of her own!  ONE. TWO. THREE!!!!! KENDAL WINS! KENDAL WINS! KENDAL WINS!

WINNER AND NEW EVOLVE WOMEN’S CHAMPION: OUR GODDESS, KENDAL GRAAAAAAAAY!!!!

MATCH RATING: A
Both ladies absolutely brought their A-game, and showed themselves to be the two biggest stars of the first phase of Evolve.  Seriously, kudos to both, as this was a good to great match on any level.

KENDAL: A+
Just amazing to see the development from undersized NXT fodder to fighting machine. The WWE clearly thinks a lot of her, and it’s well-deserved.  Kendal is a top-notch talent who you will be seeing winning many more belts for years to come.

KALI: A+
Almost the same can be said here.  Kali is going to rule at the next level, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see her holding NXT gold sooner rather than later>

OVERALL RATING: B
The women’s title match delivered as expected.  The men’s match grades out as alright, and let’s never speak of the bullrope match again.

I look forward to what should be a VERY different Evolve show next week. See you then.

Greetings, folks.  I’m a day late on Evolve because I wanted to enjoy one last night of Yankees baseball before their season ended last night.  I learned a long time ago that, no matter what, you are grateful when your team makes the postseason at all.  Therefore, I am thankful to have at least caught some October baseball from my favorite team last night.

Before we begin the review, the big news is that Zayda Steel is no longer under WWE ID contract.  I know that this won’t be a big deal for some, as Zayda really hasn’t been impressive in the ring at all since initially being signed, but I’m not sure I’m the only one who is beginning to worry about the program a bit.  There have been no new signings, and, really, the only wrestlers under ID deals who I could realistically see growing with the WWE right now are Swipe Right, Jackson Drake, and Sean Legacy.  Now, those are four solid talents, but I think we’ve all been expecting more out of this WWE/indie partnership than what we’ve been given.  My question to you all is: why is this happening?  Have the indies just plain been usurped by the WWE PC/NIL as the best way to develop TV-ready talent?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Now that I’ve dangled that question in front of you all, let’s get to some Evolve action.

TOO BEE. TUBI.
THEN. NOW. FORESKINS FOR AUTISM. TOGETHER.

Our Prime Minister, Stevie Turner, is here to announce that Keanu Carver suffered a broken hand last week and will, in fact, NOT be wrestling Jackson Drake for the Men’s Evolve Championship next week at Succession.  By the end of the night, Stevie will determine who is the new #1 contender for the title.  That really sucks for Keanu, and I think there was a pretty good chance he was getting the belt.

Chuey Martinez starts off IN THE RING tonight, and HISTORY WILL BE MADE next week as Evolve has its first special, Succession, next week.  Chuey brings out the two women who are the epitome of Evolve, our goddess, Kendal Grey (looking oh so wonderfully Y2K-y in that outfit), and Kali Armstrong.  Kendal and Chuey perform a secret handshake before Kali emerges, looking boss as ever.  Kendal calls out Kali taking out Carlee Bright last week.  Kali drew a line last week with the attack, and Kendal is going to break her and take her title next week.  Kali tells us she took Carlee out because she could, and that neither she nor Kendal is as good as she is.  Kendal reminds us that she beat all the guys in amateur wrestling, was 61-0 as an amateur, and that she qualified for the US Olympic trials at 10 (no, sir, I did not know that.). Kali counters with being a three-time All-American, as well as citing her track and field resume.  Kali comes from the struggle, and from Englewood, California, the city of champions.  She was born with drugs in her system, and still made it.  Kendal offers a handshake, with Kali pulling her in.  No further shenanigans occur between the two in a very, very solid segment.  These two are diamonds, I tell you.

TONIGHT, Wendy Choo will face Nikkita Lyons in a match between two women with nowhere else to go, while poor, partnerless It’s Gal draws Dante Chen in a singles match. We’re really going with the upward mobility tonight, I see.

Kelly Kincaid is backstage with Tate Wilder, who continues to learn from his mistakes and finally got his hand raised.  He wants to put his name in the hat for a Succession match…..and here’s Brooks Jensen to attack him before anything else of note happens.  Alrighty then.

IT’S GAL VS. DANTE CHEN

It’s Gal being announced from “Mt. Olympus” is a funny indie gag, I must say.  It’s the real-life action figure versus the Temu Mortal Kombat action figure. They lock up, as wrestlers often do.  Chen grabs the headlock and takes Gal down.  Gal reverses into a headscissors and begins to do push-ups.  Gal gets the dreaded front chancery on, reversed by Chen.  Gal goes squats with Chen on his shoulders, and we get a bit of a pose-off.  These first few minutes could have been an email.  Gal tries to kick Chen in the gut, but gets punched in the face for his effots.  Dante fles, and hits a BIG back bodydrop before Gal escapes to the outside.  They fight on the apron, with Dante clotheslining Gal back into the ring. Dante hits a knee off the top, but gets thrown halfway around the ring for his efforts.  Gal goes on the attack, hitting a big boot off the ropes. Gal attempts to come off the top, but gets a knee to the family jewels for his efforts.  Chen comes back with an atomic drop, some clotheslines, a uranage, and big kick sending Gal out of the ring.  Obligatory dive to the outside by Chen, but he misses a move off the top, allowing Gal to hit some uppercuts in the corner.  Chen reverses with a powerbomb from the corner.  Gentle Touch finishes for Chen.

WINNER: DANTE CHEN

MATCH RATING: C Good enough for house show opener status, as neither of these guys are ever going to embarrass you, nor are they going to give you much more than this.

GAL: C+ It sucks to see Gal with nothing to do other than put Dante Chen over right now.  He’s definitely grown as a character and deserves better.

CHEN: B- Typical Dante stuff, very much walking that thin line between “fun underdog face” and “goober.”

Referee Hottie raises the hand of Dante, only mentioned because I hadn’t noticed her in a while.  Dante poses for way too long in the gym.

Chuey is backstage with High Ryze, who we haven’t seen in a good while.  They’ll probably be beating up our favorite WWE ID geeks, Marcus Mathers and Aaron Rourke, tonight.

I’d give anything to fast-forward through these dumb ads.

The Vanity Project is hanging out backstage, and Bryce Donovan is NOT into whatever is going on.  Jackson Drake wants to give everyone a gift, while the rest of the gang wonder who is going to be the new #1 contender.  Drake shouts out Donovan for taking Keanu Carver out, and they all leave together…..except for Bryce Donovan, which I’m sure won’t turn into anything at all by the end of the show.

MARCUS MATHERS & AARON ROURKE VS. HIGH RYZE (TYREEK IGWE & TYSON DUPONT, W/ WES LEE)

Wes Lee actually comes out with High Ryze, and I am shocked Wes continues to collect a paycheck here.  Injuries really did this dude in, sadly.  Rourke and Tyreek start off, and Tyreek easily powers the much smaller Rourke down.  Rourke has speed, though, and the Ass Slap of Doom gets Tyreek so steamed that he falls victim to a rana and further double-team from the faces.  Mathers is in, and Tyreek remembers he’s strong again.  Mathers uses his speed to escape a big slam, but misses the blind tag to Tyson Dupont, and here comes the stockier dude to take Mathers down.  Tyreek and Tyson frequently tag back and forth in order to lay a beating down on Marcus.  Rourke is going f’ing apeshit in the corner looking for the hot tag.  Know where Rourke would work out great?  AAA.  Tyreek continues to impose his manhood  on Marcus Mathers (phrasing).  Mathers finally escapes the heels, though, and tags in Aaron Rourke.  Rourke with a searies of strikes and knees, rocking Tyreek, and hits a big meteora off the top for two.  Rourke sends both heels flying to the outside, and here comes the obligatory Evolve double suicide dive to the only part of ringside there’s room to hit one pn.  Back in the ring, we’ve gone Bonzo Gonzo.  Rourke and Tyreek are left in the ring, with Rourke missing a sorta-spinning Twisted Bliss.  Tyson hits a big boot, and the High Ryzer finishes.

WINNERS: HIGH RYZE

MATCH RATING: B- Nothing really wrong here, as the heels have definitely shown improvement in the ring and the faces are experienced indie guys who won’t let you down and know their role.

ROURKE/MATHERS: B Like with most of the ID talent, I don’t know what their long-term role here unless they hit the gym a bit, but they’re both entertaining guys who I’ll never change the channel on.

HIGH RYZE: B Certainly much improved from the two stiffs they were when they first debuted.  There’s good power stuff here, and another shot on NXT wouldn’t be out of place right now.

After a long break, Jax and Harley interrupt Stevie Turner being on her phone and ask for another match with Adrenaline Drip.  Jax Pressley calls this the rubber match to end all rubber match, and Harley tries to big-man Stevie by saying Robert Stone would book the match.  Stevie books the match, not because of Harley’s comment, but because Adrenaline Drip deserve to show their dominance.  Harley Riggins…..apologizes?  Hey, it was certainly a different kind of exchange.

WENDY CHOO VS. NIKKITA LYONS

We continue with the parade of upstart talent tonight, although I do like whatever they’re doing to rehab Wendy right now.  The woman deserves an actual shot.  Nikkita absolute makes Wendy look tiny.  Wendy continues with the spooky gimmick, but certainly with more of a face feel.  Wendy escapes Nikkita’s thunder thighs, meows at her, and gets a headlock.  The size difference makes it so that Wendy can barely get up to get Nikkita into a crucifix for two.  “Innovative offense” gets two for Wendy, who gets shoved into the corner by Nikkita, then out of the ring.  On the outside, Nikkita gets a few shots in, rams Wendy into the apron a few times, and sends her back into the ring. Nikkita does a split in the corner, then rams her ass in Wendy’s face several times.  More ass moves lead to a camel clutch by Nikkita.  The crowd chants for Wendy, and here comes the quasi-zombie comeback.  Wendy takes Nikkita down with a couple of axe-handles and a flying head-scissors.  Handspring chop to the elbow leads to, basically, a Helluva kick from Wendy, and crossbody off the second rope gets two.  Wendy reverses a full-nelson slam into two.  Pearl River Plunge gets a two for Nikkita. Wendy fights out of a firefighter’s carry, and an attempt at the Dirt Nap fails.  Nikkita catches Wendy trying to hit another crossbody and slams her, but the splash off the second rope fails.  Wendy cinches in the Dirt Nap for the tap.

WINNER: WENDY CHOO

MATCH RATING: B This honestly wasn’t bad at all, as Nikkita’s much, much better as a heel, and slowly getting Wendy away from anything involving sleep could do wonders for her.

WENDY: B+ I’m liking this face turn. The woman still has talent, and could still climb up the ranks here.

NIKKITA: B She’s been far better as a heel, but it’s getting late early for her.

Brooks Jensen calls out Tate Wilder, telling him he’s the reason he hates Evolve. While I like Jensen’s shirt, I literally do not care for anything he’s got to say here.  They’re facing each other at Succession, and one backstage attack somehow means we’re getting a bullrope match.  Alrighty then.

The Vanity Project will come to the ring after another break which will only feel like forever, I’m sure.  Harry and David, the Christmas care package people, somehow make their own wine, in case you want your date to laugh at you.

The Vanity Project, featuring the ghost of Zayda Steel, are out for the big announcement, which I’m sure will not at all involve one other member of the team. Jackson Drake has both the mic and some weird Sharpie mark on his side.  The hell is that.  Drake wonders who his opponent next week is going to be.  Sean Legacy’s music hits.  He wants the shot, obviously, but the ghost of Edris Enofe is here to beat Legacy from behind, as this show was obviously taped sometime in March, when circumcisions were PERFECTLY SAFE.  Well, it doesn’t look like Super Sean is getting the shot, but every camera angle possible made it obvious that someone was jumping him from behind.  Everyone celebrates except one guy.  Jackson Drake prematurely says there is no next challenger, and calls for a Vanity Project Appreciation Night instead next week.  Drake praises everyone on the team….except for Bryce Donovan, who grabs the contract.  Donovan tells Drake to shut the hell up, calls the rest of the team the worst human beings he’s ever met in his entire life, and calls his shot for the title next week.  Swipe Right get thrown outside, and Drake goes through the table to end things.  Did they telegraph this all night?  Sure, but Donovan’s looked solid every appearance he’s been given, and we could do a lot worse as Plan B here.

OVERALL RATING: B-  The bad news is that a lot of retreads wrestled tonight.  The good news is that the retreads all acquitted themselves very well.  Both the opening and closing segements were good as well.  Yes, this show needs a massive talent infusion (and maybe LFG can help with that), but they did a lot with a little tonight.

And then there were four.

I apologize again for missing last week’s episode, where I probably would have been furious at Sirena Linton not making it to the finals, but we are here now at the final four. Two of these individuals will, hopefully, not get jerked around in NXT for only being halfway-ready for the next step, while I’m not sure what happens to the rest.  Maybe they join the Don Callis family and take on the New York Jets next week.  This is the WWE. Anything can happen.

And away we go!

SEASON TWO, EPISODE 15: SEASON TWO FINALS!

TONIGHT, Shiloh Hill tells us winning is the bare minimum, which leaves me unsure as to what else there is to do tonight.  Dani has finally found herself.  Also, we apparently have to drag out Drake Morreaux being relevant to all this, and he and Harlem Lewis will still do battle again (as they “split the judges’” vote last week) to decide who faces Shiloh later in the show.  Oh, Shiloh might be getting screwed here.

THE FUTURE STARTS NOW.

HARLEM LEWIS VS. DRAKE MORREAUX (SEMIFINAL DO-OVER MATCH)

Harlem and Drake are already in the ring, in front of the paid NXT crowd, and they be clubberin, folks.  Drake hits a clothesline and a big splash for two as Shawn Michaels and Matt Bloom watch from Gorilla to UNDERSCORE how SERIOUS this is.  They fight on the outside, and Harlem sends Drake onto the apron.  Harlem suplexes Drake onto the floor and rolls him back into the ring for two.  Harlem continues his attack, hitting an elbow off the second rope to the back of the head for two.  Shawn is backstage, favoring Harlem, seemingly, which is a nice bit of continuity, since I don’t think he really likes the season one winners.  Drake hits his shitty comeback, hitting the chokeslam for a very close two-count.  Drake can’t powerbomb Kidman, which leads to Harlem hitting the jackhammer for three.

WINNER: Harlem Lewis

MATCH RATING: B- Perfunctory.  Nothing really wrong.  Extended squash with a hope spot.

HARLEM: B+ This should be Shiloh’s to win, but Harlem’s always wrestled like he’s a bit above this, showed much improvement from his Evolve stint, and seems like he could be a player at the next level right now.

DRAKE: C+ Sold well.  Comeback was weak.  Way too tall for his girlfriend. There’s something there, but it’s still way hidden.  I’d send him back to the lab for a makeover, but he’s not making it past this.

Harlem celebrates above Drake for the win, and they both head backstage to gorilla to speak with Shawn Michaels.  Shawn tells them both they need a lot of work, but he feels he could slot Harlem immediately into NXT more. He tells Harlem this isn’t over, and that he will have to face last year’s runner-up later for the slot.  Did they say this will be in Houston?  Let’s see.  Harlem walks by Shiloh, and is Shiloh that much bigger than him?

We are now in Houston, and Booker’s taken Harlem to his office at Reality of Wrestling.  Booker’s office looks like the most bootleg version of something you’d probably find in Stamford ever.  Shiloh is in the ring, thinking, and he is confident.  Harlem is deep in thought.  Now, here is Dani, ready to show folks she was never the underdog.  We then get P. Nasty, jumping rope, and hitting a training dummy.  We are padding the hell out of this.  I’ve got stuff to do, people.

We are now in Houston, where I guess some live event occurred at some point recently.  Hey, look, it’s Lexis King!  We get even more quick interviews with Penina and the Undertaker.  Taker gives Dani some quick words of encouragement.  Dani and Shiloh TAPE THEIR WRISTS. Harlem sits in an empty room.  Michelle McCool has thoughts. Fans fill in the arena in Houston. The coaches get a cheap pop in the ring. This episode could have been an email. A very short email.

DANI SEKELSKY VERSUS PENINA TUALAEPA (WOMEN’S FINAL MATCH)

We are 24 minutes into the show, and these women look almost exactly the same as they did episode one of season one.  At least this means Dani’s still cute.  Penina throws the hell out of Dani in a scool starting spot, and takes her down with a shoulderblock.  Dani can’t get her down with two dropkicks and winds up placed on the top rope.  A flying shoulderblock finally takes Penina down and sends her outside.  Penina catches Dani trying to hit a crossbody to the outside and slams her on the apron.  Dani gets slammed into the apron before being rolled into the ring.  Dani’s big change to her appearance is a single braid in her hair.  The coaches think Penina’s work isn’t good.  A sloppy Samoan drop sets up a pin attempt too obviously close to the ropes for Penina.  Dani returns with some body shots, but gets awkwardly slammed for her efforts.  More dropkicks from Dani leads to a tentative tornado DDT for two.  Dani misses a weak frog slam.  Penina goes for the choke slam, but winds up in the Hell’s Gate.  Penina fights…and fights…and fights…and finally taps!

WINNER: DANI SEKELSKY

MATCH RATING: C Rough effort at times from both ladies, and certainly not what you’d want to see from your finals’ match.

DANI: B- Rough effort on that tornado DDT and frog splash notwithstanding, her selling was top-notch, and the segment with the extended Hell’s Gate was solid.  Mixed bag here.

PENINA: C- Rough, bordering on bowling shoe at times.  More than one botch on an offensive move, and the coaches called out her tentativeness throughout.  I’m not sure where we go here, since I could see her in a very specific role, but not much else.

I’d obviously go Dani here, but let’s see how this is decided.

Dani hugs Undertaker while Penina celebrartes with random Samoans.  Dani’s mom is literally Dani in twenty years.  That’s kind of nuts, actually.  Undertaker makes a Jim Ross reference as we prepare for our final match tonight (unless we bring out Drake again because one of his shoelaces was untied.)

HARLEM LEWIS VS. SHILOH HILL (MEN’S FINALS MATCH)

Booker and Taker try to make this about themselves as Shiloh and Harlem circle the ring.  Collar and elbow tie-up leads to more circling, as ALPHA MALES do.  They take turns bringing each other down before Harlem goes on attack with some shots in the dorner.  Shiloh reverses an irish whip into a big shoulderblock.  Harlem gets sent to the outside, where Shiloh hits the cannonball off the apron.  Some shots on Harlem on the apron pop the crowd, followed by a big legdrop to the apron from Shiloh.  They wind up back outside again following some texts from my girlfriend, and Harlem is in control.  It was girls’ softball drama, if you were wondering, but Harlem gets a two-count, then another off a running knee. Back suplex into a backbreaker looked awfully nice for Harlem.  Shiloh reverses a probable jackhammer into a small package for two, and the spinning neckbreaker finishes for Shiloh.

WINNER: SHILOH HILL

MATCH RATING: B Far better than the women’s match, as these guys know how to do “physical” and “intense” really well.

SHILOH: B+ No one really hit that next gear tonight, as everyone tried to play it safe.  He hit all his stuff with great intensity, sold well, and looks far more ready to have good matches at the next level than Jasper Troy did last season.

HARLEM: B+ You could almost say the same about Harlem here, but Shiloh simply seems more ready to go 10-12 minutes with anyone.  My decision would be an easy one here.

Backstage in Houston, we get a private talk, without talent, with the coaches, Shawn, and Alicia Taylor. The ladies go first, and Bubba sees the growth in both women.  He thinks Dani is more ready, though.  Booker and Michelle pick Penina, which obviously means Taker goes with Dani for additional drama.  Both women walk in, and Shawn picks Dani.  It’s the right choice.  I’m curious as to where she slots in, but she seems ready.

We now turn to the men and, surprise surprise, it’s another two/two split from the coaches. Shawn nails the landing and picks Shiloh.  For all its wonkiness, we wound up with no surprises, and the two wrestlers who were the frontrunners at the start of the season wound up winning the contracts.

We end with the real winner of this all, Michelle McCool, winning the Coach’s Championship, complete with Shawn taking a dig at Taker’s streaks beind ended.  Savage.

OVERALL RATING: C The right people won.  The new folks impressed.  Otherwise, not much happened here, or this season.  I look forward to watching what seem to be two more polished winners than season one’s contribute at the next level.

What will season three bring?  Seems like a hell of a lot more newbies, which is frankly needed.  Do we have enough folks at this level in developmental now?  Time will tell.  Give me more than a few weeks before a new season begins this time, though, as it feels like we were crowning season one winners just a few weeks ago.

It’s been real.  See you for season three.

Happy Wrensday, everyone! First of all, I apologize for missing last Sunday’s LFG. I honestly haven’t watched the show yet. When I do, I’ll post a review, and I’ll be back on track this Sunday.

In developmental news, pretty much everyone not named Mike Mears knows about Jazmyn Nyx leaving the WWE, and you can add Edris Enofe to that list. My take on this is this: WWE doesn’t want you signing two developmental deals. You’re either close enough to the main roster after 2-3 years that it’s worth staying, or they’re going to lowball you into leaving. What you think of that, business-wise, is up to you. If what Nyx was offered was really $60K, and she had no chance of getting called up and turning that into a main roster deal, then I don’t blame her for walking away. That’s not a real salary for what these folks are expected to do.

Anyway, on to those who are still here and/or survive on ramen and mayonnaise sandwiches.

THEN. NOW. LOL ANDRADE. TOGETHER.

LAST WEEK, Stevie Turner announced the first-ever Evolve special, Succession, and our goddess, Kendal Grey, earned her spot to face Kali Armstrong for the Evolve Women’s title on that show. Tonight, however, Brooks Jensen and Keanu Carver will wrestle for the right to challenge Jackson Drake for the Men’s title at that event.

We kick off the show with the worst-dressed man in wrestling and his coffee buddy.

ADRENALINE DRIP (CAPPUCCINO JONES AND JACK CARTWHEEL) VS. JAX PRESSLEY AND HARLEY RIGGINS

Actually, Cartwheel isn’t wearing anything terrible, but his hair is just frightening. Like, doesn’t anyone tell him? Jax and Harley cut a promo where they put down indie wrestlers, which wasn’t bad, with the heels trying to double-team Cap, who temporarily gets the better of them and tags in the other Oompa-Loompa here. Cartwheel and Cap send the heels outside in frustration. Back in the ring, Cartwheel takes down Riggins a couple of times, which is odd considering he’s half his size. Riggins clearly fakes a leg injury and proceeds to beat the Cartwheel out of Jack. The heels continue to hit Cartwheel with their pretty standard offense, although the backstabber from a guy as big as Pressley was pretty cool.  Jesus, these guys are twice as big.  Cartwheel tries to escape a couple of times, finally backflipping into a tag to Cap. Cap takes down Riggins with a springboard elbow, then hits a crossbody off the top.  Cartwheel gets tagged in, and the Drip Drop (superkick into a German) leads to a pin attempt, which is broken up. Cartwheel hits what looks like a springboard 630 on Pressley before being taken down by Riggins.  Cap takes down Riggins on the inside, then Jack hits the Space Flying Tiger Drop on Pressley.  Flip N Drip on Riggins gets what I figured would be the win here.

WINNERS: ADRENALINE DRIP

MATCH RATING: B- The size difference continues to make things a bit ridiculous, but the heels hid their greenness well, and Cap and Cartwheel can be trusted upon to be solid high flyers, if not a bit too indyriffic.  The ending wasn’t in doubt here, as they weren’t jobbing the ID guys twice to the newbs.

Riggins/Pressley: B Green for sure, but a lot of presence, as well as working within their limits, counts for a lot.  They impressed again.

Adrenaline Drip: B What you see is what you get.  I think Cartwheel’s dorkiness isn’t really getting over, and Cap’s considerably cooled off after being one of the initial ID standouts.  I hope that changes.

Chuey Martinez is backstage with Tate Wilder, who now doesn’t have a healthy Ridge Holland to face, and will be in the ring tonight with dead man walking, Edris Enofe.  This, of course, was taped before Ridge’s injury.  Sean Legacy enters the scene and advises Wilder to give Edris his undivided attention tonight.  Why he was needed here eludes me.

Jackson Drake, Bryce Donovan, and Zayda Steel are backstage watching the monitor, and the sledgehammer of plot dictates that bickering ensue.  Also, they taped a Drake/Donovan match before NXT last night, so we aren’t exactly climbing back in bed together here.  This being “behind the curtain” so that you only see them with about half your screen is kind of annoying.  Drake wonders how Bryce is going to solve a problem like Brooks and Keanu.

THE GHOST OF EDRIS ENOFE VS. TATE WILDER

Robert Stone brings up that Wilder has basically lost to everyone before the match starts.  Forget Edris.  Put him up against the New York Jets.  Edris goes on the attack, beating on Wilder in the corner.  Wilder escapes, and they proceed to fight on the apron.  Edris hits Wilder’s head against the metal and sends him outside. Wilder escapes a move off the apron, hits a kick on Edris, and hits a swinging dropkick off the post, which I’ve never seen before.  Back in the ring, Edris takes over again and drops right hands on Wilder.  Edris hits two short-armed clotheslines, Wilder attempts to fight out of a third one, but can’t, which leads to a two-count by Edris.  They couldn’t be booking Wilder more like a dweeb if they actually had him lost to the Jets.  Wilder tries to escape out a choke, can’t the first time, but finally hits a back suplex out of one.  Wilder hits some awful punches and finally lands a clothesline.  Of course, this doesn’t work again, as Edris hits a dropkick and backstabber for two.  Edris removes the turnbuckle, and attempts to grab a chair, but here’s Legacy to grab it from him.  Wilder is finally able to take over, showing decent energy.  Edris reverses out of a suplex and gets a roll-up for two.  Edris attempts a suplex, but Wilder reverses into a swinging suplex.  Wild Ride (basically a moonsault) finishes for Wilder.

WINNER: TATE WILDER

MATCH RATING: C+ Well-wrestled enough, but I thought the layout made the actual pushed winner seem like a dweeb who only won through someone else’s help.

Edris: B- He’ll be missed,  I was honestly always a fan of his look.

Wilder: C- I don’t see it yet.  The booking does him no favors, but he looks and wrestles like some dude who got handed a cowboy hat on the way out to the ring.

Tate shows respect to Legacy after the match, while Edris contemplates an OnlyFans.

Kali Armstrong murders Carlee Bright next!

Masyn Holiday, Layla Diggs, and……Wendy Choo are backstage, and the ladies compliment Wendy on her new hair and wonder if she’ll try TikTok.  Nikkita Lyons enters the scene and tells Wendy she liked her better when she didn’t talk.  Wendy: “What a bitch!”

CARLEE BRIGHT (W/ OUR GODDESS) VS. KALI ARMSTRONG (NON-TITLE MATCH)

My apologies to Carlee, whose goofy charm I do enjoy, but this ain’t happening.  What is happening are those cheetah print hot pants on Kendal.  Kali takes Carlee down by the hair to start and gets her in arm bar.  Carlee kicks out, gets a cartwheel, and reverses on Kali.  Armdrag off the top takes down Kali, and Carlee hits a side headlock.  Kali eventually just throws her over the top rope.  Kali throws her back in and hits a huge shoulderblock into the corner, she does it again, then hits the big powerslam for two.  Kali continues the attack and sends Carlee again to the outside.  Kendal cheers Carlee on as Kali just stands there and waits.  Carlee comes back in at 8, but is immediately met with a series of elbows.  Third elbow misses for Kali, though, which leads to Kali missing a charge into the corner.  Carlee hits two clotheslines and a headscissors, then headscissors again Kali from the corner.  Bulldog gets two for Carlee, who heads to the top and…..gets caught by Kali…..but Carlee reverses a slam into a roll-up for two.  Her luck ends there, as Kali hits the big powerslam and the Kali Connection.  Kali doesn’t go for the pin, though, hitting a second Kali Connection (with a nice bump by Carlee) for three.

WINNER: KALI ARMSTRONG

MATCH RATING: B+ Honestly, I’m not kicking this match out of bed.  Kali is awesome, and Carlee’s developing into a solid underdog character.

Kali: A There’s a reason she’s the champ.

Carlee: B+ Nothing to hate on here.  She played her role well, and sold that second Kali Connection like gangbusters.  I’m not sure what her place is when Kendal eventually moves up to better things, but there’s been improvement for sure.

What seemed like an exciting vignette winds up being for Brooks Jensen.  Womp womp.  Whatever that dorky old-school thing they were doing a few weeks ago has been tossed, it seems.

Our main event is next!

WWE ID promo focuses on Aaron Rourke and Marcus Mathers.  I feel like the program needs a bit more attention.

It’s Gal is backstage with a bunch of goobers, looking for a new tag team partner.  Dante Chen offers reassurance, but this somehow turns into a challenge for next week.  The goobers let Gal be and walk away.

Kendal Grey and Kali Armstrong have a face-off next week, plus we get the contract signing for the Men’s title match!

BROOKS JENSEN VS. KEANU CARVER (#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR A MEN’S EVOLVE TITLE SHOT AT SUCCESSION)

Kelly Kincaid is again doing ring announcer duties for the big match intros.  Keanu deserves some serious credit for slimming down, as his physique has markedly improved these past few months.  STRONG lock-up at first.  Jensen attempts to bring Carver down but fails.  He attempts a second time off an armlock, and fails.  Carver takes Jensen down.  Jensen attempts to get some strikes in, but meets a big slam from Keanu.  A second, bigger slam is followed by a BIG back bodydrop and a Samoan drop for two.  Carver’s doing the basics well as we cut to an insert promo from the Vanity Project.  Drake asks Donovan if he’s “got this,” and Bryce says he does.  Spoiler: He probably does not have this.  Back in the ring, Carver misses a charge into the post as we go to break. We return to….Carver missing a second charge.  Jensen hits the double knees to Keanu’s arm and continues to work on the arm.  Armbar by Jensen slows the match down.  Keanu can’t slam Jensen twice due to his arm, and gets sent into the post again.  Jensen hits a very old-school knee to the arm off the top for two.  Some shades of Tully Blanchard there.  If only they had fully gone in that direction.  Keanu continues to attempt to fight back, as a solid story is being told there.  Jensen tries to send Keanu into the post again, but Keanu reverses, and here comes the comeback.  BIG fallaway slam for Keanu, followed by a pop-up Samoan drop for two. Jensen reverses out of a suplex and goes back to work on the arm.  Slingshot clothesline gets two for Jensen.  Carver continues to not be able to pick Jensen up.  Alabama Jam by Jensen gets two, as you continue to see traces of what could be at least a decent NXT midcard act.  As we know, those make $60K a year after a while. Nasty belly-to-back by Jensen leads to Keanu rolling outside.  Back in the ring, Keanu surprises with the big POUNCE, and the spinning slam gets the surprisingly easy three.

WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER: KEANU CARVER

MATCH RATING: B+ Again, not bad at all, as an extended story was told with Keanu having to fight back after Jensen slowly took apart his arm.  Nice job, guys.

Keanu: A- The look is so, so much better and while, look, he’s never going to be Oba Femi, he’s got a chance to carve out his own path.  Things are trending up.

Jensen: B You see the glimpses of what could be fun, but what’s the ceiling in that?  No one is buying a modern-day Tully Blanchard on the main roster.

Carver celebrates, and here’s Bryce Donovan with some rather solid chairshots, including two to the arm.  Donovan proceeds to Pilmanize the arm as the Vanity Project come out to celebrate and taunt Keanu Carver.  Well well well, maybe Bryce DID get the job done.  Donovan thinks for a second before shaking Drake’s hand. This was an excellent piece of business by all to close the show.

OVERALL RATING: B+ A solid final two matches, and well-executed closing angle led to a pretty fine show following a bit of a rough start.  Add to that some actual character development for Wendy Choo, and I’m curious to see where a lot of this goes.

Happy Wrensday, everyone!  Apparently, we’ve got some major announcement from Evolve Prime Minister Stevie Turner tonight, obviously in relation to Tony Khan’s major announcement on whatever that other show is called.  We’ll get to what that is in a second, but let’s send some congratulations and love to the former WWE Women’s ID Champion, Kylie Rae, on her pregnancy.  While we hope to see her back in the ring soon, that whole family thing always comes first.  Alright.  Y’all ready?  Let’s EVOLVE.

THEN. NOW.  ONLY GOOD HAPPEN. FOREVER.

Are we really on episode 30 of this show?  Wow.

Stevie Turner is sitting at her resolute desk, and she tells us Uriah Conners and Kale Dixon will be facing the Vanity Project tonight.  That’s not the major announcement, though.  The major announcement is that, on October 15th, “Evolve: Succession,” the first-ever Evolve live special, will be taking place on Tubi.  On that show, both the men’s and women’s titles will be defended for the first time on the same show!  The contenders for those matches will be decided over the next two weeks.  Don’t worry about the other show.  Orange Cassidy returns and beats the big guy with three superkicks.

We go to the ring, and there’s our GODDESS, Kendal Grey, looking fabulous in camo pants and a crop top.  Spoiler: I find this woman a bit attractive.  Kendal has the mic and reminds us that she made both Wendy Choo quit, as well as speak for the first time.  Her hard work is paying off.  She came to Evolve to find out who she was. She is getting more comfortable every week, and there is not a woman who can beat her on this level.  This leads to her calling out Kali Armstrong and wanting the Difference Maker versus the Arm Breaker at Succession.  This brings out the women’s champ, who knew Kendal would be coming after her following making Wendy Choo tap.  Wendy Choo isn’t Kali Armstrong, however, and this brings out Chantel Monroe.  She wants a shot here and has the cojones to refer to our goddess as “Mighty Mouse.”  YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH, CHANTEL.  Kendal reminds us that Chantel has dropped the ball a few times already, which Chantel blames on Kylie Rae.  This now brings out Stevie Turner, with Kali asking her to please not make this a triple threat, and give her the chance to defend her title in a one-on-one match.  Stevie agrees to this and books Kendal versus Chantel in a #1 contender’s match tonight.  Solid segment here from the rookies.

Uriah Connors and Kale Dixon hit the resistance bands backstage in preparation for their tag match tonight.  I’m smelling tag titles here.

We get another Sportscenter-type ad featuring Sean Legacy before going backstage to the Vanity Project, talking smack about Chase U.  Stevie Turner enters the frame again, and Jackson Drake asks if she could inform him who his opponent will be at Succession.  Stevie books Brooks Jensen versus Keanu Carver in their own #1 contender’s match next week.

KALE DIXON/URIAH CONNORS (W/ ANDRE CHASE!!!) VERSUS SWIPE RIGHT (W/ THE VANITY PROJECT)

Referee Hottie is calling the action for our opening match.  We get some cheers for Swipe Right from the crowd and, I must say, Zayda’s not looking too bad in pink tonight.  Dixon and Ricky Smokes exchange blows in the corner, and Dixon takes Smokes down and intoa headlock.  Baylor hits the blind tag to Brad Baylor, but their double-team attempt is thwarted by Connors entering the ring.  Official tag is made to Connors, and a double-team gets the two on Baylor.  Double-suplex gets thwarted by Brad Baylor, but they whiff on double dropkicks and get met with a double senton from Chase U.  Swipe Right winds up turning the tables outside as we go to break. We return from break, and Smokes is busy getting a two-count on Kale Dixon. Dixon attemptes to reverse a suplex into a slingshot suplex of his own, but it doesn’t work.  Vertical suplex from Smokes gets two on Dixon.  Dixon stomps away and tags in Baylor who….stomps away. Gourbuster from Baylor gets two. Dixon hits an enziguri and makes the hot tag to Uriah Connors, who is a son of Finley on fire.  Some decent double teaming sends Baylor outside, with Connors hitting the big dive on both members of Swipe Right. Back in the ring, Connors hits a swanton for two on Smokes.  This is as good as anything you’ll se on NXT.  Swipe Right toss Connors to the outside, and hit a Hart Attack dropkick on Connors for two, as Dixon breaks it up. Connors tags in, but it’s all four in the ring. H-Bomb into a neckbreaker gets two on Baylor, as Smokes breaks it up.  Smokes sends Dixon outside.  Drake and Donovan approach Andre Chase, but get taken out by a dive from Connors.  Back in the ring, Connors and Baylor exchange small packages for two.  Smokes distracks Connors enough for Baylor to hit the high knee and there’s the SUPER SWIPE for three.

WINNERS: SWIPE RIGHT

OVERALL GRADE: B+ About as good as it’s going to get at this level for a tag match.

CHASE U: B+ Both guys have really started to look good in recent weeks in their matches, and I hope this leads to more on NXT.  Not much more to say there.

SWIPE RIGHT: A- Typical performance from the group, who have easily become the stand-outs of the ID program.

Andre Chase consoles his boys outside the ring while Jackson Drake grabs the mic in the ring.  Drake congratulates his boys, and immediately begins dressing Bryce Donovan down for dropping the ball in recent weeks.  Donovan makes sad faces.  Drake brings up the #1 contender’s match, and he’s just not feeling facing either of those dudes, calling it a buzzkill of epic proportions.  Drake refers to Donovan as his “fixer,” and tells us he’ll take care of Keanu and Jensen, albeit not in the nicest of ways.

Jax Pressley and Harley Riggins talk like a bunch of muscleheads backstage.  Jax brings up the idea of tag titles, and notices a text from Stevie Turner.  Apparently, Adrenaline Drip want a rematch after losing a couple of weeks back.  Meanwhile, Chuey Martinez appears to be in the ladies’ lounge, with Masyn Holiday, Layla Diggs, Nikkita Lyons, and Wendy Choo doing random crap behind him.  Seriously, the hell is Nikkita doing back there. Chuey asks them all who is going to win, with the word “freak” being thrown around in reference to Choo.  Wendy hears this, of course, and stands up.  Chuey approaches her, and all Wendy has to say is that this is going to be harder than she thought.  Wherever this is going with Choo, I kind of like it.

Your main event is next!!!

It’s Gal is backstage……with Stevie Turner (again!) Apparently, Jamar Hampton has cracked a hip bone, and will be out indefinitely.  Ridge Holland enters the frame and wants to be named the #1 contender.  Tate Wilder enters the frame and says that’s no way to speak to a lady.  Tate refused a rematch with Ridge Holland, tells us he’s not ready yet, but that he will be.  This somehow ends with Stevie Turner kicking It’s Gal out of her office.  This really sucks for Gal and Hampton, as that team was starting to gel pretty well.

Keanu Carver promo.  We don’t where he’s from, or what he had to do to get here.  No reject cowboy is going to stop him from getting his title shot.  Really good promo here from Keanu, probably the best from anyone I’ve seen in Evolve so far.

CHANTEL MONROE VS. KENDAL GREY (#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH)

We all know we’re not getting Kali/Chantel at Succession, so the question here is only when and how Chantel taps tonight.  There’s a “Grey is the new Green” sign in the crowd, and I have no clue what that means.  Kendal likes it, though.  Big match intros from…..Kelly Kincaid?  Where’s Blake? Chantel gets a quick roll-up for two to start before Kendal starts to WRESTLE, getting a roll-up and backslide for two.  Chantel with some solid punches, followed by a not-so-solid chop.  Kendal counters with her own chops, and that works a bit better. Cross-body off the second rope gets two for Kendal before she takes Chantel down with an arm drag into an armlock.  Chantel escapes and cinches on her own armbar. Kendal escapes, and hits another arm drag back into an armbar.  Kendal escapes Chantel trying to get her into the corner, trips Chantel up, and hits a dropkick sending Chantel outside.  Chantel suckers Kendal back into the ring and hits a neckbreaker against the ropes as we go to break.  When we return, Kendal is fighting back with some punches, but meets a knee lift from Chantel for two. Chantel focuses on the head and neck, in a bit of continuity I appreciate.  Neck snap gets two for Chantel.  This is definitely the best Chantel’s looked.  Kendal gets a roll-up for two before another neckbreaker gets two for Chantel.  Chantel locks in something resembling Carmella’s Code of Silence, which Kendal leans back on to break and get a two count.  Chantel misses the charge in the corner, and here comes the comeback. Two big American right hands, and elbow, and a big throw turn the tide for Kendal, still selling the neck.  Chantel tries to escape, but meets the Randy-esque powerslam for two. Kendal tries to go to the top, but meets a big kick from Chantel, who hits a TKO for a close two-count.  Chantel goes to the top, gets caught, and we’ve got a fight on the top rope. Kendal hits the BIG throw off the top for two, and there’s a big armbar, which Chantel reverses for two.  Chantel tries to go for the arm, but there’s the armbar again……Chantel has nowhere to go…..she taps!!!

WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER: KENDAL GREY

MATCH RATING: B+ Both ladies worked incredibly well here for their level.

MONROE: A- It wasn’t perfect, but that was absolutely Chantel’s best match since her Evolve debut.  Kudos.

KENDAL: A-  All we need is reps against some better quality opponents here.  Kendal is a special talent.

Kendal celebrates with BFF Carlee Bright, and Kali Armstrong comes out to show respect, as the show ends.

OVERALL RATING: B+ Quick and breezy.  Easy peasy.  A fun show, with some quality in-ring tonight from some of the better performers.  The announcement of Evolve’s first special is a welcome one as well.

Thank you all for reading along and participating in the convo below.

Alright, folks.  Got some free time this morning before the rapture occurs, and I’ve been curious to see what happens with the boys on their first day of cuts.  No, that is not a circumcision reference but, rather, one to the first round of cuts on the men’s side on LFG this week.  Let’s get to it.

THEN. NOW.  TYLENOL DOESN’T CAUSE AUTISM. TOGETHER.
SEASON 2, EPISODE 13: IT’S NOT OVER ‘TIL IT’S OVER

I always dislike the whole storyline of teammates fighting against each other for elimination.  I guess it adds more drama to it all, but it’s got to get in the talents’ heads a bit.

Joe tells us it’s a new day at the Performance Center, following the women’s cuts from the last episode.  Shawn comes out and praises Dani and the other women for their performances last week, giving Dani the point I didn’t realize wasn’t even given previous week until now.  Shawn turns his attention to the men and tells them it’s their turn to step up.

Following the intro, Taker sits with Shiloh Hill and Drake Morreaux, reminding Shiloh that he drafted him first this season, while basically saying he didn’t really want to draft Drake.  His assessment of Drake’s abilities is fair, though, as he shows you these small moments of potential, but just too many moments where he’s, at best, bleh.  The standard “why should you move forward” questions occur.  Drake cuts a promo that may work in AEW, but I don’t see this as anything other than an undercard talent promo here.

SHILOH HILL VS. DRAKE MORREAUX

Lock-up to start, and they circle each other while Bubba yells at Drake to “do something” within the first fifteen seconds of the match.  They fail to take each other down with clotheslines, but a big shoulderblock from Shiloh takes Drake down.  Drake gets a sidewalk slam for two and begins to work on the arm.  Short-arm clothesline from Drake gets two, as does a running dropkick.  I agree with the coaches here, as this is one of those moments where you see it with him.  They trade punches and forearms.  Neckbreaker and spinning senton get two for Shiloh.  Mox-style DDT leads gets reversed into a roll-up from Drake for two.  No one gigged, though.  Shiloh escapes the chokeslam, and hits a back suplex for the sudden pin.

WINNER: SHILOH HILL

MATCH RATING: C Basic, by the numbers sprint, albeit one wrestled well by both guys.

SHILOH: B+ There’s really nothing left to do for Shiloh at this level.  He’s got a defined character, and knows his way around the ring.  Move him forward.

DRAKE: C+ You see the glimpses of something, but it’s never enough to overcome the goofy presenation. This show has done him no favors, and he’s better off seeing what Evolve or NXT could do for him.

I say the result is obvious here, but let’s see what happens. Booker thought Shiloh was a bit off, and would actually put Drake forward.  The coaches somehow think Drake had a great match here, which I don’t see at all.  Taker saw it too, but still does the right thing and puts Shiloh forward.  I didn’t see any of what the coaches saw here.  Guess it was all that Tylenol my mom took.

Booker meets with Chris Island and Harlem Lewis, as this should be more interesting. I see the argument for either guy.  The usual pep talk happens, and Harlem either knows his character REALLY well or has got some real issues.  Either way, whatever he’s doing is convincing.

HARLEM LEWIS VS. CHRIS ISLAND

Island comes out with the judo outfit again, which I really like. Harlem is all intensity.  A shove from Harlem leads us to a commercial break and a commercial for an A&E special on celebrity sex tapes.  I’m mildly curious. Also, no one does those anymore.  We return to Island taking Harlem down with an arm drag and yelling for him to say his name.  They battle over a wristlock, and Harlem eventually takes Island down with a big shoulderblock. Harlem misses the charge into the corner and eats a big kick, monkey flip, and clothesline for two.  Nice intensity from Island here.  Harlem comes back with a shot to the kidneys.  Harlem seems a bit gassed, as his offense doesn’t sharp right now.  Fallaway slam by Lewis gets two, and we hit the chinlock. Island giths out, and eventually hits a belly to belly for two.Harlem fights out of a suplex, some weirdness happens, but he hits the jackhammer for three.

WINNER: HARLEM LEWIS

MATCH RATING: C The men aren’t quite bringing it tonight, as this had both its good and not-so-good, wonky moments from both guys.

ISLAND: B+ I thought Island faired better here as, other than losing his momentum on hitting that big kick in the corner, he looked crisp and convincing throughout.  He’s made big strides.

HARLEM: C- He certainly didn’t pick the right moment to have his worst outing in LFG, as his hits looked soft, and he botched his end of the suplex-into-rollup.  He made what may have looked like a cakewalk for him into a conversation.

I’d put Island forward, but this likely resembles the first elimination in that it’s too little, too late.  Let’s see.  The coaches praise both guys here, as my views don’t seem aligned with them at all.  Must be that damn Tylenol again.  Booker notes Chris’s improvement but, like I imagined, Harlem’s potential is too big to send home.  A tough one, as I think Island earned his spot, but I get it.

Anthony Luke and Trill London are next in what should be the most fun match of the night.  Michelle does the usual here, encouraging one of them to make the decision easier for her tonight.  I like the exchange between Luke and Trill here.  It comes off as really natural.  Trill, especially, was great here in keeping his cool demeanor for most of it.

ANTHONY LUKE VS. TRILL LONDON

They tie up, with Trill using his speed to escape and get Luke in a headlock.  Luke pulls the hair as Vic drops a “charismatic enigma” on us.  Nice quickness from Trill, eventually falling victim to an elbow from Luke.    Trill fights out of a the corner with a crossbody for two.  Trill with a Whisper in the Wind to the outside as I’m missing every other move while I type.  Luke dropkicks Trill coming off the top rope and goes on the attack.  They trade boo/yeah punches, with the crowd behind Trill. Dropkick and Side Effect get two for Trill as the Hardy-isms are starting to get a bit too on the nose here.  Swanton only gets two as Luke gets his foot on the rope.  Trill takes off his shirt and goes to the top again.  Please, skip the whole “do drugs” part, Trill.  Luke catches him on the top and hits a big superplex.  Lights, Camera, Action gets the three for Luke.

WINNER: ANTHONY LUKE

MATCH RATING: C+ Wrestled well but, again, nothing here rose above a good developmental match.  The women are leaving these guys in the dust.

LUKE: B Anthony does what he does.  I’m not sure he’s at the place where he’s going to impress as a singles act, even on NXT, but I could see him as a strong half of a tag team while he figures the rest out.

TRILL: C+ It’s not that he did anything wrong.  It’s that he basically went out there this week and executed the entire Hardy Boyz playbook.  Even at this point of his career, he’s better than that.

IDK about you, but this seems pretty easy to me.  Trill leaned way too hard on the Hardy-isms, almost to the point of tribute act.  Once again, the established wrestler moves forward here in Anthony, and I don’t disagree. He stayed steady while Trill hit a grounder to second when it mattered most.

We’re obviously getting some sort of swerve here, with two entire segments remaining, and BJ Ray coming out believing he’s got a first-round bye due to Elijah Holyfield’s injury.  BJ calls himself the #1 seed, earning the first-round bye, and is clearly in on the storyline as he hams this up well.  He’s cracking me up here, I have to say.  As he rtries to leave, Bubba grabs him by the arm, turns his hat backwards, and calls back to a talk with Elijah in which he tells him he’ll be standing in the ring across from him.  Sure enough, Elijah stands in the middle of the ring, arm in cast, waiting for BJ.  BJ, again obviously in on this, cuts a promo and tells Elijah his father would be embarrassed for him.  Bubba stands up and says BJ isn’t moving forward that easily, and that he’s having a match tonight as we cut to break.  I have a million ideas for this, none of which will probably come to fruition.  Bubba whispers something to Alicia Taylor when we return from break, and it’s…….Drake Morreaux, again.  That was not one of my million ideas.  I won’t bother with the intro.  Drake rolls up BJ for three.  A pissed off BJ cuts another promo in which he insults Roxanne Perez, the coaches, and then dares Bubba to enter the ring and put hands on him. Of course, Bubba enters the ring, and it’s another swerve as Drake slams BJ.  Bubba puts the glasses out and calls out Zena Sterling for her and Drake to hit the wuzzup drop, all wearing glasses.  Zena and Drake get the table, and a double chokeslam sends BJ through the table.  Cute for sure, but the world doesn’t need more Drake Morreaux.

OVERALL RATING: C- Fairly predictable episode, with none of the men really showing out the way women did last week.  The future is female.

See y’all tomorrow for Evolve.

Alright, folks.  No time to waste here.  I’m a day late with this and, to be honest, I already read Leighty’s review.  I’m going to pretend I don’t know what happened here and give you my best effort at an Evolve review.  Why?  Because I love you people, this world is going to shit, and I know good things happen here.  Mostly, though, the world is going to shit.

THEN. NOW. JIMMY KIMMEL. FOREVER. TOGETHER.

LAST WEEK, we had a triple threat for the Men’s Evolve Championship, with Jackson Drake prevailing over both Brooks Jensen and Keanu Carver.  This week, though, our goddess, Kendal Grey, gets the opportunity to shut Wendy Choo the hell up forever.  I’ve got a good feeling about that one.  Don’t ask me how I know.  Well, you know how I know.

Here’s your Men’s Evolve Champion, with the rest of the Vanity Project, to start.  Drake brings up how people pray for their downfall, but they’ve never been as locked in as they are now.  Ricky Smokes has them all throw up the deuces.  Drake reveals speaking to Stevie Turner earlier, and he’s arranged for an eight-person tag match against some “dusty ass” opponents.  Here are those dusty-ass opponents.

DANTE CHEN, DRACO KNOX, TYRA MAE STEELE, AND SEAN LEGACY VS. VANITY PROJECT (SWIPE RIGHT, BRYCE DONOVAN, AND ZAYDA STEEL)

That damn WWE, counter-programming AEW with a nonsensical multi-person tag match.  PARTY MATCH!  And welcome back, poor Tyra Mae Steele.  Steele stars out against Steele, and I’m not sure which lady I feel worse for right now.  Zayda slaps Tyra,  and gets thrown halfway across the ring for her efforts.  Ricky Smokes comes in, and man/woman action is teased before Draco Knox tags in.  Draco with a couple of takedowns and a shoulderblock for his efforts.  Smokes escapes a slam, misses a dropkick, and gets a tilt-a-whirled for two.  Draco tags in Legacy, who must have lost a bet to wind up here, and some double-teaming gets a two.  Brad Baylor gets met with a couple of dropkicks from Sean, and a standing moonsault gets two.  King Dorkus Dante Chen comes in, and I imagine a mirror image of this was airing on Dynamite at this time last night.  Dante Chen or Speedball Bailey?  Who you got?  Dante with a couple of inverted atomic drops on Baylor before tagging in Draco Knox for more man-on-nut action.  Smokes distracts the ref, and Baylor finally can rest his testicles and go on the attack before tagging in Bryce Donovan. We return from break to a seemingly still fertile Brad Baylor beating up on Knox before tagging in Bryce Donovan.  Again.  Bryce takes control over Knox, not doing anything of note, before Brad Baylor and his magic balls tag in.  Draco makes his escape, though, and Legacy comes in for the lukewarm hot tag.  VP quickly take over on him, though, and Donovan goes back on the attack.  Smokes gets tagged in, and I’ve definitely been to better parties in my time.  Maybe don’t show wrestling matches during parties, but I’m not Canadian.  VP continues to double-team Sean Legacy, and this just seems like it lasts forever.  Zzzz. Zzzz.  Oh yay, hot tag to Dante Chen, who goes wild on both of Swipe Right and Bryce Donovan.  Zayda breaks up a two-count, only to get thrown around by Tyra Mae.  Tyra Mae German suplexes both of Swipe Right.  Bryce teases going after Tyra, but gets taken out by Draco Knox.  Double chop from Dante Chen finishes Bryce Donovan.  This party sucks.

WINNERS: The Dusty Asses

Match Rating: C- What a gigantic waste of time this was.

The Dusty-Asses: C-  Chen is a goofball jobber.  Knox is an indyriffic flip machine.  Tyra and Super Sean deserved so, so much better.

Vanity Project: B+ Never anything wrong with their work, but this was an absolute snoozefest, which I’m sure exists to further establish dissention between them.  I don’t really want to watch the dissention between them.

While The Dusty Asses celebrate in the ring, Drake gives Bryce Donovan an earful.  If we’re wanting to break off Bryce from the VP, having him job to a chop from Dante F’ing Chen isn’t how you build excitement for that.

Chuey Martinez is backstage with Marcus Mathers and Aaron Rourke, who will be taking on It’s Gal and Jamar Hampton next.  Rourke, fabulous as always, points out the three out of ten Mathers was given by It’s Gal last week, only to be countered by the 2.5 out of five he actually received.  Riveting.

Our goddess and her tan lines are backstage with Carlee Bright.  Kendal’s going to make Wendy utter words for the first time tonight.  Tan lines: A+

Earlier today, Sean Legacy approaches Tate Wilder and asks if he’s ok.  Tate can’t figure things in his career out right now.  Legacy offers some strong words of encouragement, which would hit a lot better if I hadn’t just watched that eight-person tag.

MARCUS MATHERS/AARON ROURKE VS. IT’S GAL/JAMAR HAMPTON

Wrestling needs a babyface like Aaron Rourke right now.  Jamar and Gal do have a bit of a hilarious new entrance, but this is all very much bottom-floor stuff here.  Rourke and Gal start off.  The tights here read “Mint Condition” and “Dime Piece” for each guy.  It’s Gal gets some push-ups here while getting Rourke down in a legscissors.  A slap by Gal is countered by a slap by Rourke, who hit a codebreaker and sends Gal into the corner.  Mathers comes in and we go double-teaming.  A pretty back kick by Mathers gets two.  Gal counters with a slam and tags in Hampton.  Mathers escapes a slam and hits some strikes before tagging Rourke back in. Rourke escapes a slam and hits a side headlock.  Some heel distraction leads to a downright Brunzell-ish dropkick from Hampton.  Athleticism is not this kid’s issue.  Nice double suplex from the heels, and they’re both doing push-ups now.  Double elbow gets a two count.  Gal’s looking probably the best he’s ever looked here.  Rourke attempts to fight out of the corner, and meets an uppercut from Gal. Hampton tags in for more double-teaming, and here’s a big throw across the ring.  He attempts this again, but he throws Rourke right into elbowing Gal in the corner.  Rourke can’t make the tag, though, and Gal comes in.  Rourke hits a big kick, and here’s Marcus Mathers.  A whole lot of kicks and a cutter from Mathers, but Gal is able to tag Hampton.  Crossbody gets two on Hampton, but that gets broken up by Gal.  Rourke takes him out, and Marcus hits the big tope to the outside.  Hampton is thrown back in the ring.  Rourke is set to hit something off the top, but gets distracted by Gal taking Mathers out.  The Dummy Drop (basically the Harris Brothers’ old H-bomb) finishes for the heels.

WINNERS: IT’S GAL AND JAMAR HAMPTON

Match Rating: B- Indy-style fun that hit the right spot after that opener.

Gal/Hampton: B I absolutely see potential here as a team.  Both guys were having fun.  Gal looked especially sharp, and Hampton is starting to at least figure out that personality if a concept.

Mathers/Rourke: B Mathers always looks sharp in there, and there’s just something infectious about Rourke.  Again, it was clear they were having fun.

Your heels pose over Aaron Rourke after the match.  The announcers try to push that Rourke tweaked his knee to give him an out after that loss.  Gal gives Jamar a pair of matching sunglasses.

Chuey is backstage with Kali Armstrong.  Chuey wonders whether Kali’s next challenger for the Evolve Women’s Title will come from this I Quit match.  Kali wonders how Kendal will make Wendy quit if Wendy doesn’t talk.  Wendy Choo enters the frame and laughs.

YOUR MAIN EVENT IS NEXT AFTER THIS BREAK!  BOAR’S HEAD MEATS! CASCADE DISHWASHING PODS! AMAZON IS GOOD FOR SMALL BUSINESS! NO, REALLY!

We return to a SportsCenter-type commercial featuring Sean Legacy which, while funny, is kind of random.

The Vanity Project lick their wounds backstage.  Jackson Drake is pissed.  Zayda Steel is afraid of being roasted on Instagram.  Bryce Donovan speaks up and mentions the group never minds when he helps them win their matches.  Donovan gets face to face with Drake and alludes to coming after his title.  My man, you couldn’t even beat Dante Chen tonight.

TIME FOR OUR MAIN EVENT!

OUR GODDESS, KENDAL GREY VS. WENDY CHOO (I QUIT MATCH)

Kendal has made the proper adjustment to her top, as this is not the kind of attention to detail you’d ever get from Tommy Hall, mostly because it’s about Kendal’s boobs.  Big match intros from Blake Howard get interrupted by Kendal going on the attack.  Bigtime brawling to start, as both trade shots.  Kendal sends Wendy into the turnbuckle.  Wendy misses a charge into the corner, and Kendal goes for a rope-assisted armlock.  Wendy rakes the eyes, though, and sends Kendal over the top rope to the outside.  Wendy wastes time laughing and being spooky, which gives Kendal enough time to trap Wendy between the apron and the drape.  Another armlock by Kendal in that position.  Wendy disappears under the ring, which leads to Kendal looking like a giant goof.  Wendy emerges, grabs Kendal by the neck, and drags her under the ring for a second.  Chairshot to the gut by Wendy, and Kendal gets sent into the ringpost on the outside.  Wendy tries to break Kendal in half against the ringpost, then brings the chair into the ring.  The chair is set up in the corner.    Kendal fights back, but meets a knee to the gut.  Kendal gets set up in the tree of woe over the chair, but Wendy misses the charge.  Kendal escapes but gets caught by Wendy again as we go to break.  We return to Wendy still on the attack.  Kendal gets sent outside, but she now hides under the ring.  This kind of stuff only works on this show, I swear.  Wendy goes looking, but Kendal reappears in the ring and goes on the attack.  Big German suplex from Kendal, and Wendy is finally sent into that chair that had been set up earlier.  Kendal hits some decent chairshots to the back and locks on the Armbar.  Wendy hits the ropes, though.  Brainbuster by Choo, and she grabs the chair again and shoves it into Kendal’s face.  Kendal’s selling here is solid as she attempts to fight back.  Kendal finally pushes the chair again, and evades a couple of charge attempts into an ankle lock.  Wendy attempts to reach for the chair, but can’t, eventually sending Kendal into the ringpost.  Chairshot by Wendy, who then wraps the chair around Kendal’s neck.  Kendal’s sent into the corner with the chair around her neck, and the Dirt Nap is locked in.  Isn’t the ref supposed to have a mic during these things?  Kendal fights out, and here’s another armbar!  She cinches it in, but Wendy rolls them both outside.  No one goes under the ring this time.  Wendy sends Kendal into the steps.  Back in the ring, Wendy has the chair again. Suplex onto the chair is countered into a DDTon the chair.  Kendal hits the arm from the top onto the chair! Armbar is hooked in again!  Wendy has nowhere to go!  Kendal cinches it in more!  Wendy quits!

WINNER: Kendal Grey

Match Rating: B+ The under-the-ring hijinks were silly, but both ladies did what they set out to do otherwise.

Kendal: A-  Another great performance here.  She looks tough.  Her selling is good.  It’s all believable as hell.  We’re watching a star in the making.

Choo: B+ Always dependable.  Always makes her opponent look good.  Thank you for your service here, Miss Choo.

Wendy speaks again, wondering what is left for her as the show ends.  I guess she joins the Don Callis family next week.

OVERALL RATING: B The main event made this show this week.  The opener showed why these random multi-person tags are such a niche thing that really doesn’t work at all when you’re trying to tell stories.  The performances were good, though, and new stuff is happening all over the place.

See y’all Sunday.

Happy Monday, folks.  I don’t have anywhere to be for a bit, so why not join me by watching the first week of eliminations on this season of LFG?  How much does BJ Ray have to pack, you think?

SEASON TWO, EPISODE 12: LAST WOMAN STANDING
I honestly don’t like the drama that’s created with teammates facing each other for elimination, as I think eliminations should be decided the way everything else is here: what household chores will be performed by the Undertaker if he goes against his wife.  Still, though, I laugh at the idea of one of the elimination matches tonight being Tatyanna versus Sirena, unless there’s a Booker-sized swerve coming.  Booker will apparently make his decision DURING the match, which is certainly shucky ducky, but not quack quack, enough for me.

WELCOME TO THE ULTIMATE PROVING GROUND.

Uncle Shawn, again wearing a terrible shirt under his blazer, explains that it’s the ladies’ turn for some eliminations tonight.  Haze is nervous, but she knows she’s shown something here and, holy hell, she’s facing Zena tonight.  You have my number, Haze.  Call me.

Taker sits with Dani and Bayley, who both need to advance to the next level, and has them discuss why they deserve to win.  Bayley, who has no points this season, feels her results speak for themselves.  Dani counters with doing everything asked of her (including wearing that lucha mask) and making it work.  She’s the smallest one here, but she’s the top dog.  Taker believes both have excelled, that Bayley could change the face of the women’s division one day, and that Dani is polished way beyond her time in the wrestling business.

DANI SEKELSKY VS. BAYLEY HUMPHREY

Dani is all business during her entrance, even refusing to do her flippy stuff.  Me like. Bayley is so pre-plastic surgery Chyna sometimes, it’s scary.  Dani immediately dodges two attempts at a charge in the corner and hits some kicks.  That advantage doesn’t last too long, as Bayley just grabs her by the throat and hits a series of elbows in the corner.  Big clothesline gets two.  Dani escapes a submission by raking the eyes.  Taker gets upset at…..some flub I don’t notice, even after rewinding.  Dani slapped her.  What was wrong there?  I blame Andrade.  Dani goes on the attack, but that just pisses Bayley off more.  Bayley hits the Warrior press slam as we go to break.  Dani’s somehow on the attack when we return, which means we missed a whole lot.  Dani works the leg against the ring post on the outside, and there’s the “old school” figure four around the ring post.  I didn’t know we deemed that “old school” now.  Back in the ring, Bayley recovers and hits a sidewalk slam.  Dani chops the leg, though, and goes back to work on the mat.  Bayley tries to counter with a choke, and it doesn’t work.  Dani looks like a goddamn star here. More slaps from Dani, which leads to Bayley Taker-ing up and hitting the chokeslam.  The damage to the leg means she can’t counter, and Dani cinches in the Hell’s Gate.  Bayley eventually powers her up and hits the powerbomb for two.  Package powerslam gets three for Bayley in what’s probably the best match I’ve ever watched on LFG.

WINNER: BAYLEY HUMPHREY

MATCH RATING: A+ Bravo.

Dani: A+ Everything you could have expected from her in this role, she did.  She’s ready for NXT.  Think a much better Candace LeRae here.

Bayley: A It wasn’t that Bayley wasn’t perfect here.  It was that Dani had the harder role.  The fake tap off the Hell’s Gate was beautifully done, and Bayley absolutely leveled up here.

Who I’d send home: I don’t want this decision one bit, as both don’t need this show any more, but neither deserved to “go home.”  We had the power wrestler win this last year, so I’d send Bayley home, but both women have brighter futures than this show can offer, so who knows.

Who I think he sends home: I sense swerves all over the place tonight.  I think Dani goes home.

Who he sends home: After too much dramatic stalling….way too much dramatic stalling, he sends Bayley home in the first round for a second year in a row.  No swerve here.

The women embrace, and Taker reminds Bayley she’s going to revolutionize the business.  Taker also acts like Bayley’s going to slip on a banana peel and ruin wrestling, which is silly, but we gotta reality TV here.

Bubba sits with Haze and Zena before their match.  Bubba tries to stir the pot a bit between them both by reminding Zena they’ve both scored one point this season.  Zena believes she’s been treated a bit unfairly and that it’s easy for a green wrestler to get points based on small improvements.  Haze counters with opening more eyes than anyone else this season and giving fans the most fun match every single time.  She wants the decision to be difficult.

HAZE JAMESON VS. ZENA STERLING

Haze with her awesome entrance to start.  Haze continues with her awesomeness to start, running her mouth while cheating.  Zena has had enough early, though, taking her down and working the arm.  Haze cheats in the corner AGAIN, hitting a boot to the mid-section and going to work as we go to break.  Dropkick from Haze gets two, and we hit chinlock city.  Zena escapes with some meh chops, then gets a roll-up for two.  Haze rakes the eyes off a firefighter’s carry and gets a neckbreaker for two.  Haze running her mouth in the ring is a thing of beauty.  Zena’s had enough, though, and hits two clotheslines and a big slam.  She, of course, SELLS THE SHOULDER throughout.  Haze goes for a roll-up off a DDT but gets caught with her feet on the ropes.  Tilt-a-whirl slam ends this for Zena.

WINNER: Zena Sterling

MATCH RATING: B+ It didn’t have the heights the previous match had, but it was competently worked by both.  I was sports-entertained.

Zena: B+ She did what she had to do, and not much else.  The selling of the shoulder happens EVERY MATCH, and I’m getting a bit tired of it.  She gets talked up a lot, but I don’t think she’s better than Dani or Sirena.

Haze: A+ If she doesn’t win season three, something’s gone terribly wrong. She’s slowly putting it all together, and the offense looked very good here.  There’s enough here to pull off the upset today, but I’m not sure that’s in anyone’s best interests.  We’re seeing the next Alexa Bliss in the making here.

Who I’d send home: As much as I absolutely love Haze, it’s not her time yet.

Who I think gets sent home: I think Bubba will agree with me.

Who got sent home: Bubba calls Zena stale, and tells her something needs to change quick, but sends Haze home.  I get it.

Summer Sorrell’s shoulder is iced up as we go to break.  When we return, Summer admits to injury, but is going to power through her match tonight.  Summer and Penina sit with Michelle, and Summer’s in a sling.  Woo boy.  Summer informs Michelle that she has a sprained AC joint from practice.  This concerns Michelle, as she feels a sprain can be worse to recover from than a break.  Penina calls her delusional, and that getting into the ring with P. Nasty with one arm is a mistake.  They stand up and get some solid heat here.  Michelle puts a stop to this and cancels the match.  Summer goes home.  They sort of telegraphed something here, as there’s definitely not enough time left here for two more matches.  Like Haze, Summer showed a lot in her brief time this season.  There’s a good wrestler in need of more reps there.  I hope we see more of it in season three, as she’ll be one of the favorites.

Our main event is next and, FFS, don’t swerve me here.

Booker sits with Sirena and Tats.  Tats talks about getting overlooked, rehabbing, coming back, and putting people over, and how that hurts her.  Tats cuts a decent fiery promo on Sirena, which Sirena takes in an incredulous manner beautifully.  With Tats, if only the bell didn’t have to ring.

TATYANNA DUMAS VS SIRENA LINTON

I always love how the full crowd is there for the “main event.”  Sirena’s got a little Giulia going on with the hair tonight, and I’m not sure she had the nu-metal theme before tonight. They lock up, and Tatyanna shoves Sirena down.  Tats gets a roll-up for two as they circle the ring again.  Hammerlock from Tatyanna takes Sirena down, and notice the great facials from Sirena throughout.  They trade roll-ups for two before Sirena hits a kick to the gut.  Short-armed shoulderblock by Taytanna sends Sirena to the apron, but neck meets top rope, which allows for Sirena to take advantage and lock in a body-scissors. Another roll-up from Tatyanna gets two, who then gets sent HARD into the post. Bronco Buster by Sirena, who then misses the charge. Shoulderblocks from Tatyanna get the crowd going, followed by a BIG body slam for two. Tats misses the charge into the corner.  Sirena misses a 450, but still lands a DDT for three.  Sirena licks Tatyanna after the match, which won’t go over well in the Johnson residence.

WINNER: SIRENA LINTON

MATCH RATING: A Give the credit where it’s due.  One woman finally leveled up, while the other showed why she’s one of the best here.

Tatyanna: A+++++ That’s obviously on a curve, but it was a good week for Tats to have her best match ever.  She hit her stuff.  She didn’t have a botch.  She never looked blown up.  It’s probably too little, too late, but kudos.

Sirena: A+ Everything about her screams complete package.  Her selling is fantastic.  Her instincts are great.  She heels it up better than anyone on this show.  She is ready for the next level.

Who I’d sent home: It was a good final match but, until today, Tatyanna’s shown us absolutely nothing.  One match doesn’t change that reality.

Who I think goes home: Booker T is a certifiable insane person, so nothing would surprise me here.  I still think he sends Tatyanna home.

Who gets sent home: With a minute left of show time, Booker raises the hand of Sirena and sends Tatyanna home.  Thank God.

Next week, the men battle.  BJ probably does something stupid.

OVERALL RATING: A+ Hell of a show this week, and one of the best in the show’s run.  Everyone came to work tonight and showed progression from their past matches.  Summer will be ok.  She’s got a hell of a future ahead of her, but what a rough time to get hurt.

See you Wednesday for Evolve.

Greetings, everyone.  I swear I was doing this only ten hours, but here we are.  Note to self: Just review the damn LFG on Sundays, like God intended me to.  Now that this is out of the way, let’s head back to the PC for some Evolve action.

THEN. NOW. THERAPY. TOGETHER.

The Vanity Project tells us the odds are stacked against the Evolve World’s Champion, Jackson Drake, as he defends his championship against Brooks Jensen and Keanu Carver.  The VP run both opponents down and, holy hell, Jackson Drake looks 14 clean-shaven. Put some facial hair back on that boy.

To the ring we go…

CARLEE BRIGHT (STILL W/ KENDAL GREY) VS. LAYLA DIGGS

You know you don’t really have to show up here anymore, Kendal, right?  I mean, Wrendal IS a thing.  Layla and Masyn Holliday do their 1994 SWV dance as part of the entrance, and I’ve got to be honest, it does not make me weak at the knees. Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start, and they do some decent mat stuff to begin.  Layla eventually elbows out of a hammerlock, and takes Carlee down into a submission.  Carlee with a couple of good armdrags, and Layla cartwheels out of a headscissors.  Not too shabby, ladies.  Code of Evolve is respected with a handshake, and I bet it’s Layla who goes heel here.  Roll-ups are exchanged, and they both do a choreographed missed double dropkick into a kip-up.  Layla works on the back with some elbows, and a cartwheel senton gets two. Layla catches a crossbody attempt from Carlee into a powerslam and hits another moonsault for two.  Carlee misses her own moonsault, rolls out, and meets that beautiful scissors kick from Layla that probably really is the best in the biz.  Layla misses another cartwheel-something into the corner, with Carlee hitting the tornado DDT for two. Carlee gets out of the Diggety Splits, or whatever it’s called, and hits a Play of the Day variant called the Brightside for the three.

WINNER: CARLEE BRIGHT

Match Rating: B Nothing particularly wrong, although while I wouldn’t say both ladies were working at half speed, it was more like 75% speed.  For two women who could be in consideration for the chopping block in the future, this wasn’t bad at all.

Bright: B Smooth mat work, and good control of her aerial stuff.  She’s done nothing to distinguish herself personality-wise other than standing next to Kendal, but I hold out hope.

Diggs: B A better effort, but I think she goes to the gymnast well more than once to often with her stuff.  The scissors kick is still great.

Brooks Jensen, as is usual for this show, hits the resistance bands backstage.  Someone needs to lift a weight around here.

HHH shakes hands with Stephen A Smith during a Wrestlepalooza ad in a visual I never thought I’d see.

Carlee and Kendal are in the ring, and Kendal calls out Wendy Choo.  Kendal’s promo skills have definitely improved.  Kendal also sets her sights on Kali Armstrong after she beats Wendy, and heeeeere’s Kali.  Kali reminds Kendal she needs to beat Wendy Choo before she can get to her and……there’s suddenly a brawl backstage, and I swear that was Colt Cabana for a second.  Imagine that.  However, it’s Ridge Holland and Tate Wilder brawling from the back into the ring.  Stevie Turner calls for a match to start NOW as the ladies just magically disappear, like poof.

TATE WILDER VS. RIDGE HOLLAND

From a Brawling Brute to me thinking he looks like Colt Cabana.  The mighty have fallen indeed.  They brawl in the ring.  Holland with the knees in the corner, and Ridge has been eating his Wheaties the way his physique looks.  Tate sends Ridge to the outside, hits the dive, but gets sent into the post.  I can’t buy a guy as bean-polish and dorky-looking as Tate having a chance here.   Headbutt from Ridge, and he gets sent outside again.  Tate hits a knee on the apron but gets clotheslined for his troubles.  Ridge ragdolls Wilder in the ring and gets two.  Wilder revs up and tries to hit the comeback but gets hit with THAT belly-to-back suplex by Ridge.  Ridge hits a second one for two. That’s ended careers, I hear.  Tate escapes a powerslam, and comeback #2 ends with his getting dumped on the mat.  Ridge cinches on the half-Boston crab, pulling Tate away from the ropes, and I can’t imagine we get a tap from this. Tate kicks away, but gets shoved into the corner.  Tate hits a crossbody off the top for two, but gets slammed again.  Ridge misses an elbow, then a charge, and Tate is on the attack with some punches and clothesline in the corner.  Ridge comes back with a headbutt, but an Irish whip is reversed into a backdrop. Second rope senton by Tate, followed by an enziguri, gets two.  Ridge comes back with a big slam, shoving him into the corner, and hitting a cannonball.  Gut-wrench powerbomb gets the three.

WINNER: RIDGE HOLLAND

Match Rating: B- That false comeback attempt only felt like forever, but this was a decent little David/Goliath match, which David didn’t win.

Ridge: B He looks better physically than ever, but you’ve seen all of this before, and all it’s gotten him is lower and lower on the totem pole.

Wilder: C It’s all gimmick right now, as the rest is indie dorkiness at the highest level.  Not seeing it there right now.

Marcus Mathers and Aaron Rourke are backstage.  Rourke admits they look like complete opposites, but they’re more alike than people think, citing their indie background, their WWE ID status, and they both think the other is cool.  You can expect grit, determination, aerial artistry, and perfection from both.  Rourke is awesome.

From one odd couple to another, It’s Gal calls Jamar Hampton a ten on the Stud-o-Meter.  Apparently, Mathers is 3 out of 10, and Aaron Rourke is both a dork and a 2.5 out of 10.  Alrighty then.

Keanu Carver asks us to get that camera out of his face and hits the ring for the main event.

JACKSON DRAKE VS. KEANU CARVER VS. BROOKS JENSEN (WWE EVOLVE MEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH)

Before the other two guys can come out, we hit the back, where Wendy Choo has taken Kendal Grey out.  How dare you do that to my woman, Wendy.  How DARE you.

We have a Headway commercial for corporate mental health.  Please, people: support your private practice clinicians if you seek therapy.  These venture capital conglomerates are terrible for the field as a whole.

We return to Brooks Jensen’s totally 1985 Mid-Atlantic entrance, followed by clean-shaven Jackson Drake, on his own and without the rest of the Vanity Project.  Robert Stone is way too excited at Drake winking at him.  Get a room, you two.  Big match entrances from Blake Howard to start.  By the way, have we seen Referee Hottie lately?  Maybe I just haven’t noticed.  I think we belt Keanu here to set up further discontent among the VP.

It looks like this thing’s getting sixteen minutes as we start.  Jackson teases going after Keanu, but launches at Brooks instead.  This backfires, as Keanu clothesline the living hell out of Jackson out of the ring.  Brooks and Carver square off, and Brooks can’t take Keanu down with a shoulderblock.  Somehow, Keanu can’t take down scrawny-ass Jensen with a series of shoulderblocks, and this leads to Drake sneaking up from behind and clipping Keanu.  Keanu hits the outside as Brooks and Drake square off.  Jensen with some clotheslines in the corner, a week-ass chop, and a nice powerslam.  The Dustin Rhodes punch from the outside gets met with the POUNCE from Carver on the outside on Jense.  A second one is hit on Drake, as Keanu manhandles them both.  Double-slam from Keanu leads to a two-count on Drake.  Drake with a beautiful dropkick, over Keanu, on Jensen, while Keanu is shoulderblocking Jensen in the corner.  This leads to a roll-up for two on Keanu by Drake as everyone but Drake hits the outside. Drake hits a tope on both as we go to break.  We return to Drake and Keanu in the ring, and Keanu is taking exception to a series of kicks from Drake, but Drake escapes a slam attempt, and Jensen takes Keanu down with a crescent kick.  Jensen attempts to hit a splash off the top on Drake, but Drake moves, and he hits Keanu. Drake and Jensen square off again.  Drake escapes a powerbomb, hits another kick, and a fisherman’s buster gets two. Drake hits another dive at Carver on the outside, almost flying into the first row.  Back in the ring, Drake and Jensen exchange punches and headbutts.  Drake went for a southern lariat but gets caught in a slam into a kick in the back by Jense.  Carver attempts to come in but gets tossed out again.  Way too much manhandling of the big man here.  Keanu finally gets back in the ring, and skinny men are being tossed around.  Drake comes back with some kicks to the gut on both.  Jensen attempts to lift Drake up for something, but Drake meets the POUNCE in the air.  Big slam on Jensen gets two for Keanu. Drake takes Keanu down again, and a standing shooting star press gets two.  Keanu lifts Drake from that position, attempts to fallaway slam him, but Jensen goes behind them both and hits a German on Keanu along the way.  Jensen misses the southern lariat again and gets an enziguri from Drake for his efforts.  A second one hits Keanu, but that’s no-sold, and an electric chair/spinning kick off the top combo gets two on Drake.  Jensen goes to the top again but gets caught by Keanu. Keanu hits the superplex, but a springboard senton by Drake stops that.  Keanu rolls out of the ring, and another attempt at a dive by Drake leads to his getting nailed right in the face.  Nice callback to the first two dives.  Bryce Donovan comes out to take Keanu out, however, and eats a kick from Jensen.  Roll-up from Jensen gets two, and there’s the southern lariat for……two, as Bryce saves the day again.  Oh I know where this is headed.  Donovan hits Jensen with a big right hand, and a big kick from Drake gets three.  I guess I didn’t know where it was headed.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: JACKSON DRAKE

Match Rating: B+ All three guys showed up and had a solid three-way, with some predictable “there’s no DQ” interference coming into play.

Drake: A The man can do no wrong.  Except shave.

Keanu: B+ A bit too much offense taken here by Carver, but his power stuff looks better than ever.  Truly a mini-Oba in the making, at least in that department.  If he were as good a package as The Ruler, he wouldn’t be in Evolve right now.

Jensen: B+ More than competent enough, but it’s Brooks Jensen.  See “Holland, Ridge” above, although I’m digging the old school feel with him a bit more.

The Vanity Project celebrates, as we cut to Stevie Turner in her office.  Stevie’s found a Post-it calling for an “I Quit” match from someone, and she decides it has to be from Wendy Choo.  I mean, has Wendy ever written a drawing before?

Overall Rating: B+ Easy and breezy this week, with enough combination of pros and newbs to keep things going strong.

Thank you for reading and commenting, and I’ll see ya when I see ya for LFG.

Happy Wrensday!  I did not intend on making a habit of reviewing both the C-shows on the same day, but here we are doing it two weeks in a row.  I have no excuse this week.  I got lazy on Sunday, and then life happened. I have no idea what the mood of this is going to be, since I just had to deal with leaving my phone at the gym (thankfully recovered.). Perhaps it’ll be jovial.  Perhaps Booker T is going to get these hands.  Let’s see.

SEASON TWO, EPISODE 11: LAST CHANCE TO IMPRESS

THIS WEEK ON LFG, the lesser-featured talents get their last chance to avoid being first on the cut line.  Bayley Humphrey will take on Summer Sorrell (could be good), Tatyanna Dumas will take on Haze Jameson (with Haze already throwing shade at probably having to lead this match – the bowling shoes are getting shined as we speak), and, in the main event, Chris Island will take on Trill London (oh, THAT’S interesting.)

Trill London is not looking at the road while driving and talking, at the same time, on the way to the PC.  At least he’s sober, right, Uce?

Uncle Shawn, in a lime green shirt only found in the boomer section of JC Penney, lets the talent know that cuts begin next week, and it’s time to prove yourselves.  Haze throws a couple of adorable f-bombs in response.  Chris Island realizes his back is against the wall.  Bayley is not going out in the first round this time around.  Anthony Luke and Maxxine Dupri show off their new crib to us, and it’s a relatively nice build-a-condo.  Nice double oven, I must say.  As we’re now on WWE Cribs, Zena’s living room kind of looks like mine, since everyone lives in nameless units now.

Undertaker gives Bayley a pep talk before her match, and she’s right: there’s no monster like her anywhere in the WWE.  Michelle reminds Summer that being the underdog is not a bad thing, and WHAT THE HELL IS MCCOOL WEARING IN THE POST-INTERVIEW.  In case that wasn’t ridiculous enough, Taker tells Bayley she has to win because he can’t lose to his wife.  Million-dollar gimmick, smallest testicles ever.  I give you Mark Callaway.

BAYLEY HUMPHREY VS SUMMER SORRELL (WHO SLEEPS ON THE COUCH AT THE CALLAWAY COMPOUND MATCH)

They both do their standard entrances.  Summer immediately tries to use her speed to avoid Bayley, but gets caught quickly and taken down.  Bayley with the big flex, but Summer slaps the ever-loving shit out of her.  This does not go well, and Summer has to escape the ring and call a time-out.  Summer’s attempt to lure Bayley back into the ring doesn’t go well, and she meets two big slams and a massive forearm that you could audibly hear pop.  Summer avoids another power move and hits the big choke.  Bayley backs her into the corner, but misses the charge.  Summer takes her down by the hair for two, and again, Summer is punching way above her weight here.  Bayley gets Summer up for the press slam, but Summer escapes, only to hit a big boot from Bayley.  Last Ride-reminiscent powerbomb gets the win for Bayley.

WINNER: BAYLEY HUMPHREY

Match Rating: B Both played their parts almost to a T.  Little to complain about here.

Bayley: B The monster mannerisms were cool, but she’s still lacking that gear she needs to truly be believable at her size.  I think she’ll get it at the next level, but it’s not there now.

Summer: A I continue to be a huge believer.  I realize the opportunities aren’t there because she’s green, but she made the most out of what she was given here and played the perfect foil.  Summer’s going to shine next season, or on whatever show she winds up on after this.

Bayley feels like she’s finally starting to grow into the monster she was meant to be, while Tatyanna and Haze take a Moen shower.  Wait, that’s just an ad.  Whew.  Coming back from break, Booker compares Tatyanna to the tortoise and the hare.  In this example, I feel like Tats would be the snail.  Haze tells Bubba her biggest concern is Tatyanna being safe in the ring, with footage from week one in which Tats dropped Haze on her head being shown.  Again, Haze is concerned about having to lead the match.  Let’s not bite off more than we can chew here, Haze.  Tats talks a bunch of bullshit.

TATYANNA DUMAS VS. HAZE JAMESON

My girl Haze better show up here, and she does via sneaking up from behind on Tatyanna and going on the attack!  Bubba makes all sorts of weird faces as we go to break.   Haze is on the attack when we return, with Bubba yelling at her to lay her shit in.  She follows with a great elbow and hip toss.  Tats gets a clothesline to the back of the head for a two count. Haze fight out of the ropes with another big elbow for two.  Haze hits the chinlock, and Taker throws some compliments her way.  That’s just because she’s not on his wife’s team, and alpha men don’t do dishes, or something.   Tatyanna reverses a whip into the corner, but is slow to get up and looks gassed.  This woman.  Tatyanna then misses trying to catch Haze for….something, but gets on the turnbuckle and throws what only seems like eight punches.  Slam gets two for Tatyanna, who is beyond gassed getting up. Haze takes advantage and gets the assisted roll-up for three.

WINNER: HAZE JAMESON

Match Rating: C- You know the story by now.

Tatyanna: F We wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Haze: A- After a bit of a weak start, Haze came to play here.  Her stuff looked good.  She didn’t allow herself to get fazed when Tatyanna started to falter. There was a lot of poise here, which is really a nice counter to the party girl character she portrays.  There’s a lot of Alexa Bliss here as far as the combination of small stature and tenacity goes.  Great job.

Haze talks about tapping into a different part of her personality in her post-promo.  Trill and Michelle speak backstage, and some shade at Booker T is thrown for the excessive Jeff Hardy comparisons.  Michelle wants to see more Trill tonight.  Booker refers to Trill as the flavor of the month, and tells Chris to knock him into the dirt every time he tries to flip and jump.  Chris Island refers to Booker as a father figure, and we know how father figures in wrestling go.  Chris and Trill pump each other up before the match, which I’m fine with.

CHRIS ISLAND VS. TRILL LONDON

I do like how they do the “main event” in front of a full PC crowd, with coaches in the balcony, etc.  It’s good for everyone involved, including the paying fans.  Island comes out in his kickboxing gear, which works so much better for him than whatever the “promised child” was.  What was he promised?  Does his dad Booker T have a Switch 2 on layaway?  Trill’s entrance….looks a lot like Jeff Hardy’s.  So much for that.  Chris immediately goes on the attack, pushing Trill into the corner and then sending him out of the ring.  Chris tries to send Trill into the steps, with Trill skipping the steps, jumping onto the barrier, and hitting the bodypress.  Nicely done. Some beautiful aerial stuff from both guys leads to a dropkick from Trill for two.  Trill slows it down with a headlock, but Island grabs the dreads and takes him down.  Chris tightens the gloves and gets some strikes in the corner.  I love the makeover for Island here.  Island has Trill in the corner.  Trill attempts to fight out with some strikes, but Chris hits a nice back suplex for two. Island tries to bend Trill in half for the submission, then hits a nice vertical suplex for two.  I don’t know who deserves the point more here, to be honest.  Backbreaker from Island, who then tries to lock in the Boston Crab.  Trill fights out, and is this the comeback?  Yes it is.  Big forearm and flying takedown (almost missed) by Trill.  Swanton attempt by Trill hits the knees, and Island kinda sorta botches a roll-up, eventually getting an assisted one, for three.

WINNER: Chris Island

Match Rating: B+ Each guy had a minor flub, but otherwise, both these dudes.  They came to play tonight.

Island: A- Now this is an actual character who can get over.  I liked everything about his presentation and work tonight.  Don’t know what was up with that roll-up, but oh well.

Trill: A- Same goes here.  There’s some work to be done in order to distinguish himself from that other dreadlocked undersized high flyer on the roster, but the work is absolutely getting him to the next level.  Nice job.

Chris continues to show the harder edge backstage.

It’s time to give out points, and I’m going Island and Haze here, but it’s totally going to be Bayley, isn’t it?  Taker gives Bayley his vote, because of course.  Bubba gives Haze his vote.  Booker T…..gives Tatyanna his vote as we go to break on the world’s shittiest cliffhanger.  We return, and Michelle goes Haze!  Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s my woman.

As the men go, Bubba goes Trill, as does Taker.  Michelle goes Trill as well, and Booker…..calls this a bunch of bullshit.  Taker confirms that Booker’s vote was, in fact, for bullshit.  Get Booker T off my television, please.

OUR TEAM RANKINGS:

TEAM McCOOL: 8
TEAM TOTALLY CLEANING THE TOILETS TONIGHT: 5
TEAM BUBBA: 4
TEAM BOOKER: 3

OUR TALENT RANKINGS:

MEN:

SHILOH/ANTHONY/TRILL/ELIJAH: 2
HARLEM/DRAKE: 1
BJ: -348

WOMEN:
PENINA: 4
SIRENA/DANI: 2
ZENA/HAZE: 1
TATYANNA: A date with Ava and, apparently, Booker T

On the way out, Chris Island is upset at losing out to “bullshit,” and is about to let the danger out on everyone.

NEXT TIME ON LFG, the playoffs begin, and it looks like Tatyanna and BJ will get thrown to the lions early.

OVERALL RATING: A really good show tonight, as we got equal parts great work and developmental wonkiness.  Not even the coaches could take away much from this tonight.  And Haze won.  

See y’all later for Evolve.

Didn’t I start off my morning reviewing something?  Why am I back on my couch, with my laptop on my actual lap, like GOD INTENDED, watching a C-level WWE show?  I know why: it’s because I love you people.  Now the mushy stuff is out of the way, let’s forget Kali Armstrong lost to Jordynne Grace on NXT last night and get to some Evolve action!

THEN. NOW.  TOGETHER. FOREVER.

LAST WEEK ON EVOLVE, Kali Armstrong overcame three strong opponents to retain her Evolve championship.  Luckily, one of them wasn’t Jordynne Grace.  Chantel Monroe and Kylie Rae also had undisclosed issues we’ll hear more about, I’m sure.  This week, though, Stevie Turner also has an undisclosed plan to determine Jackson Drake’s #1 contender for the NXT title.

To the ring we go….

SEAN LEGACY VS. ICE WILLIAMS

Well, considering one of these two is no longer associated with the WWE, take a wild guess as to how this is going to go. Aesthetically, I’m not seeing why Ice wouldn’t still be an ID talent.  He’s certainly a handsome devil and has some pretty good height to him compared to Legacy, at least. Headlock from Legacy goes nowhere.  They go for a test of strength, and Ice pulls the hair for the takedown, working the arm.  Legacy gets up and procures a hammerlock, which Williams can’t seem to easily solve, not even by pulling the hair!  Ice finally hits the rope and hits an elbow on the break.  Nice clothesline and some chops from Ice.  Other than the promo skills last week, I’m not seeing the issue with Williams here. Legacy applies the surfboard, with Ice also showing he can sell well.  Legacy with chops of his own in the corner, and some reversals lead to a beautiful dropkick by Williams.  Are you sure that release wasn’t addressed to Jack Cartwheel, because I’ll take this dude over him.  BIIIIG suplex by Legacy, kick to the head, and standing moonsault get two for Sean.  Ice goes outside, and here comes the BIIIG dive from Legacy as we cut to break. No Candy Crush ads, but an ad for Zales’ Jewelry?  Dream big, Tubi. Don’t you know Meltzer said only stupid people watch WWE developmental? We return from break to Ice sending Legacy into the post on the floor, then hits an elbow to the back of the head off the apron.  I’m no wrestling expert, but I wouldn’t have cut this guy’s meal stipend.  Ice works the headlock on the mat.  Legacy hits some punches, some kicks, and a nice German suplex. Springboard missile dropkick gets two for Legacy. Ice reverses Shambles into a spinning vertical suplex for two. Ice goes for a superkick, but Legacy reverses into an STF.  Ice almost reaches the ropes, then kicks Legacy off.  Legacy comes back, but misses the springboard shooting star press.  Ice nails the superkick (dubbed the “Icebreaker’) for two. Legacy catches Ice on the top rope, then somersaults off the push-off, jumps back on, and hits a Spanish Fly.  Shooting Star Press gets two for Legacy.  Ice temporarily dumps Sean to the outside.  Legacy tries to go to the top, gets caught, and another Ice Breaker gets two.  Top rope action fails, Sean gets a couple of kicks in, and the Shambles gets the three count.

WINNER: SEAN LEGACY

Match Rating: A Well, that’s a solid start tonight.  Both guys absolutely brought their best, and gave us a Tuesday night caliber match with several false finishes I absolutely bit on.

Legacy: A There he is.  SUPER Sean Legacy had been missing for a few weeks, but he showed here that he’s still a damn good prospect who still has a whole lot of room to grow on a solid foundation.

Williams: A So there must be a story as to why they released this guy since, based on this match, I’d easily put him in the top three or four ID talents.  His stuff was crisp.  He sold well.  He’s got a good look and size.  What’s the issue?

Chuey Martinez is waiting for Sean Legacy at ringside.  He congratulates him on the win and asks him about his future goals.  Legacy says he’s stopped being tunnel-visioned and is focused on getting his mind straight and getting wins.  Edris Enofe interrupts, looking like MC Hammer during his preacher phase, and I don’t trust his sudden statement of pride in Legacy’s maturity one bit.  Edris tells Sean he’s not ready to be either champion or carry this brand.  Enofe offers Sean some advice: Once he’s declared #1 contender, he wants Legacy to watch him do what he couldn’t, and defeat Jackson Drake for the Evolve championship.  Legacy offers his own advice, and it’s kind of the same advice Enofe gave him.  Does that count?  Shoving and officials ensue.

Kylie Rae tells Chantel Monroe they are not alike.  Chantel took shortcuts against Kyle Rae, and that won’t be forgotten easily.  Kylie will be facing someone she actually likes, Masyn Holiday, next.  Ok, then.

We now have an ad for VRBO.  Suck it, Meltzer.

We return to the Vanity Project backstage, where Zayda Steel and Bryce Donovan have been discussing US history.  Jackson Drake is upset at Stevie Turner, though, and the disrespect being wrought on him with all this #1 contender drama.  The VP discusses possibilities, and here’s Kali Armstrong.  Kali wonders who will be first to lose their championship.

KYLIE RAE VS. MASYN HOLIDAY (W/ LAYLA DIGGS)

Masyn and Layla do their dance as Masyn’s entrance, and I’ve become a fan since learning she was valedictorian of her class at Howard U.  Robert Stone references 90’s R&B girl group Zhane when he looks at this.  Hey Mr. DJ, shut up.  Handshake for good sportsmanship starts, and armbars are exchanged.  Firefighter’s carry by Masyn takes Kylie down, and she works the arm.  Kylie eventually reverses, and Masyn looks much improved from her earlier Evolve matches so far.  Big shoulderblock from Kylie, who ducks underneath a leapfrog and gets two quick two-counts.  Armdrag takes down Masyn, and I’m wondering who goes heel-ish first.  Masyn with a big shoulderblock of her own and does a bit of showboating.  Rough high cross body off the ropes gets a two for Masyn.  Kylie hits another armdrag off the top, followed by a big European uppercut and cannonball in the corner, which gets a two count. Gotta keep it real: I’m kinda bored.  Kylie now leans a tinge heel-ish herself. Kylie gets tripped off the top by Masyn for two.  More dancing ensues, followed by a charge in the corner, a slam, and a standing splash for two.  Masyn’s office needs work.  She doesn’t fully cinch in a half Boston crab, and Kylie kicks her off.  Kylie with those big American right hands and two clotheslines.  Nice leg whip and big kick take Masyn down.  Moonsault off the second rope gets two.  Masyn escapes a cannonball into the corner.  Roll-up gets two for Masyn. A rough sunset flip gets two, as they continue to exchange roll-ups.  Kylie slaps on the crossface out of nowhere for the tap.

WINNER: KYLIE RAE

Match Rating: C+ Kylie did a LOT of heavy lifting to get this to something passable.

Kylie A- Probably Kylie’s most impressive performance at Evolve so far, as she played the ring general well and got a lot out of a clearly green performer.

Holiday: C- After a nice starting flurry, it really went downhill for Masyn.  Her offense was really rough the rest of the way, although I didn’t see much wrong with her selling.  I’m still a fan, but we’re on the ground floor here.

Kylie brings Masyn in for the handshake.  This goes on for way too long, but it goes without incident.

Jax Presley and Harley Riggins are backstage with Chuey, and this ain’t the indies.  They are blue-chip prospects, and they’re going to take Adrenaline Drip down as their first victims next.

Ah, here’s the Draft Kings Casino ads we know and love.  Dave knew.

Tate Wilder is backstage with Draco Knox (other than working as backstage security, where the hell he’s been?), and Draco motivates Tate into challenging Ridge Holland.

ADRENALINE DRIP (CAPPUCINO JONES AND JACK CARTWHEEL) VS. JAX PRESLEY AND HARLEY RIGGINS (DEBUT)

Speedball Baily thinks Cartwheel’s looking a bit dorky lately.  Can we give Ice Williams Jack’s wardrobe stipend, since he’s clearly not using it?  Speaking of which. Cap and Cartwheel look like they could each be one of their opponents’ legs.  Cartwheel uses his speed against the HUGE Jax Presley, and takes in Cap.  Some fast double-teaming helps them get a two-count on Riggins, and Cap enters the ring.  Riggins gets a big backbreaker off the distraction from Presley.  Cap hits the post on the outside, courtesy of Presley, while the drip is distracted.  Big clothesline from Riggins, who then applies a headlock like he’s just standing there.  More impressively, Presley hits a backstabber for two.  Jamar Hampton and It’s Gal appear in PIP and are disgusted by Adrenaline Drip’s attempt at wrestling.  I’m more disheartened by Cartwheel’s wardrobe, guys.  Back in the ring, Presley applies the couple of submissions he’s learned so far, and at least is cinching things up more than his partner.  Cap gets a crucifix for two.  Presley attempts to back suplex him, but meets a big dropkick.  Both guys make the tag, and here’s Cartwheel and Higgins.  Cartwheel hits his indie boy flippy offense, which looks ridiculous because he looks like he could be Harley’s dick. Cartwheel stays on offense for way too long and tags in Cap.  Their finisher misses, but they still take Riggins to the outside.  Attempts at dives to the outside are caught by the heels, though, because NERDS.  Back on the inside, Cartwheel is set up for a damn good-looking spear from Presley for the three.

WINNERS: JAX PRESLEY AND HARLEY RIGGINS

Match Rating: C A fun match in which two high flyers did their darndest to beat two green big men, but the power differential was just too much.

Adrenaline Drip: B- Workmanlike effort from both guys, but we’re at the point where I’m not sure what more either guy has to offer.  Cappuccino, in particular, has noticeably faded into the background despite his strong gimmick.

Presley/Riggins: C Yes, they’re green and, for every impressive moment, there was a less-than-impressive one.  They’ve got the look, size, and athleticism to be players as long as they don’t trip over themselves.  It’s damn early, but I like what I see here.

The fearless Prime Minister Stevie Turner heads to the ring for her big announcement as we cut to break.

We get a nice recap of the WWE ID-approved training facilities when we return, which seems to serve the purpose of letting us know they’ve never really heard of Rikishi, and were never really close.  Stevie Turner is in the ring when we return, and, as she talks about her big decision, the entire Vanity Project interrupts.  Stevie is clearly not happy with this, as Ricky Smokes grabs the mic and tells her to stop stalling.  Jackson Drake wants to know who his #1 contender is, and Brad Baylor wants to know why Stevie treats them like their bench players.  Comparisons to Lebron James and Patrick Mahomes follow until Keanu Carver’s music hits.  Keanu tells us the VP is scared and asks Stevie Turner how it’s going to be.  Brooks Jensen’s music then hits, and you can literally hear everyone in the crowd individually boo him.  If you think that’s bad, we now get Ridge Holland’s music.  As Ridge tries to put his name in the running, Tate Wilder attacks from behind, and they disappear backstage brawling.  Drake finally gets the mic and calls Stevie Wonder “toots.”  Bryce Donovan is all like “what he said,” but then proceeds to put his foot in his mouth by saying Drake can beat both Keanu Carver and Brooks Jensen.  Stevie picked up on what Bryce was selling and books a triple threat for the tile next week.  A furious Jackson Drake orders the attack on both Carver and Jensen.  Jensen gets double-suplexed on the outside as Donovan and Drake beat on Carver in the corner.  A table gets pulled out by Swipe Right, but Jensen fights both guys off as Keanu recovers on the inside.  Carver press slams Drake onto the rest of the VP.  Jensen then sends Drake through the table to finish the show.

OVERALL RATING: B- I was pleasantly sports-entertained by a couple of decent matches and a closing angle which, while not featuring my favorite talents on earth, got done what it was supposed to get done.

See y’all Sunday (or Monday) for LFG!

Welcome to your Wrensday LFG review.  It’s a bit late, but Labor Day weekend, on a day when I didn’t even watch half the main roster PLE, wasn’t going to happen, especially since I also had three fantasy football drafts.  On an early Wednesday morning, before I do anything actually meaningful?  Oh yes.  Thank your Lucky Cannons.  It is happening now.

SEASON 2 EPISODE 10: FOLLOW THAT!

TONIGHT ON LFG, the playoffs are around the corner, and there’s not much time left to impress the judges.  This gives us a bunch of intriguing matches in Sirena Linton/P Nasty, Dani Sekelsky/Zena Sterling, Harlem Lewis/Shiloh Hill, and Drake Morreaux/Anthony Luke.  Every one of those matches could be quality tonight.  Looking forward to this.  We even get a Roxanne Perez appearance in the crowd.

There’s a nice summer sky in the PC, and Uncle Shawn’s arrived to tell us eliminations begin in two weeks.  Shawn reveals, to everyone’s surprise, that he once wasn’t very liked in the locker room and, then, reveals something I actually didn’t know: he used to yell out “Follow That!” when he returned to the locker room after his match.  That’s bold.  I hope he didn’t yell that to those Marines.

The judges arrange the matches, with Bubba Ray basically ruining this show for me by having me realize Zena, Penina, and Sirena kind of rhyme.  It’s the usual between those four.  The judges give out their pep talks, and is that Sol Ruca just sitting there with Michelle and Panina?  Random.  Booker reminds Sirena that she almost separated her neck from the rest of her body last time she faced Panina, and the replay of that looks gnarly as hell.

SIRENA LINTON VS. PENINA TUILEAPA

Sirena has new gear, some brighter blonde streaks in her hair, and certainly looks the part of a superstar entering the ring.  Penina probably got five points from the judges for walking to the ring.  They tie up to start, with Sirena giving Penina an ill-advised shove-ina in the corner.  Sirena tries to take Penina down, fails, and eats a slam-ina from P. Nasty.  Roll-up from Sirena gets two.  P. Nasty goes to the outside.  Sirena follows and tries a dive off the apron, instead meeting the barrier with her head-ina as we go to break. We return to Sirena getting rolled back into the ring and getting put in a neck vice.  Penina misses a charge-ina into the corner and we’ve got a comeback……or we don’t, as a single right hand stops that.  Sirena reverses a suplex attempt into a nice DDT for two.   Sirena hits the rana off the top this time and climbs to the top again, hitting her rolling finisher for the win-ina.

WINNER: SIRENA LINTON

Match Rating: B A little tentative in spots from both ladies, but they both understood the assignment and tried damn hard.

Sirena: B+ Most of the tentativeness seemed to come from Sirena, who perhaps was in her own head a bit.  The execution delivered, though, and she continues to show she’s come a long way.

Penina: B: Workmanlike. Knew her job. Looked tough.  Par for the course for Penina, even if nothing stands out at you.  That’s not a bad thing.

Penina attacks Sirena after the match-ina, hitting a Samoan Drop.  Sirena rolls out and escapes a further beating.  What a sore loser-ina.

Noted clinical psychologist Bubba Ray give Zena Sterling a tough talk backstage, calling Zena out for helping others have their best matches this season, yet not standing out herself.  That’s great once she gets to one of the main shows, but I agree with Bubba here: you aren’t on one of the main shows yet.

ZENA STERLING VS. DANI SEKELSKY

They bump fists to start.  Zena takes Dani over and works the arm, as everyone creates this narrative that Zena’s progress has stalled.  Dani’s playing her role perfectly here, flipping around to get out, but not being able to solve Zena.  How do you solve a problem like a-Zena? Well, Dani solves her by going heel and on the attack.  Punches in the corner from Dani, as I’m not sure if her playing heel is genius, or if she just magically morphed into Candace LeRae.  Zena fights back from the usual “my arm hurts” and, you’re not going to believe this, but Zena’s making Dani look awfully good here.  Dani with a hell of an armlock here, but Zena impressively powers out and electric chairs her in a nice spot.  Zena fights back and nails a big clothesline with her perpetually hurt arm.  Slam and big charge into the corner from Zena.  Zena can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl thingee because she’s selling the shoulder, and gets rolled up, with a hook of the tights, for three.

WINNER: DANI SEKELSKY

Match Rating: B+ Another solid effort, although I’ll say both these ladies came to play a bit more than the women in the first match, so a B++?

Dani: A- Dani’s an interesting one here, as I very much liked the heel mannerisms from her, but she may be too small to pull such a character off convincingly. She brought the goods, though.

Zena B: She didn’t do anything outright wrong, but still pretty much did exactly what Bubba warned her not to do.  The electric chair spot was cool, but she went back to that damn hurt shoulder bit again, and managed to make Dani look better.  She’s a good wrestler who deserves to move up, but maybe this reality TV competition stuff isn’t her best fit.

Harlem and Booker meet backstage, and Booker tells him to be stiff and dogwalk Shiloh tonight.  Without Shiloh here agreeing to this, this makes me slightly uncomfortable. Shiloh, from the locker room, shows us that awesome psycho side in a promo.  That character right there is money on the next level.

SHILOH HILL VS. HARLEM LEWIS

They immediately get to it, exchanging BIG shoulderblocks.  They fight on the apron, with a big snug punch from Harlem. Harlem can’t hit the suplex on the apron, and gets kicked to the floor.  Shiloh with a big cannonball off the apron, but eats apron and barrier for his transgressions.  Harlem goes to work with some stiffs elbows and knees, getting a cover for two.  Shiloh tries to fight back, but this looks like a damn fight,  Harlem hits a BIG slap you could probably hear in Ocala and continues working on him.  Shiloh hits some receipts and tackles Harlem out to the floor, where the brawling continues.  Shiloh has Harlem in a choke outside when the ref decides to stop the match and officials come to separate the two.  Work or shoot?  You decide.

WINNER: THE FRIENDS WE MADE ALONG THE WAY

Match Rating: A As a potential worked shoot, this absolutely ruled. As a match where someone could have gotten hurt, especially after a hard shot to the ear (Hello, Travis Scott), I’m not so sure.

Both guys: A It’s basically the same rating for both.  Both worked snug, and had me convinced this was truly a shoot gone out of control.  Everything worked here.

Taker and Booker argue over the liberties taken during the match, adding to the drama.  Booker claims no liberties were taken, not knowing they literally played the tape of him telling Harlem to take liberties before hand.  Both guys brawl in the backstage area and, know what, folks?  FOLLOW THAT.

Michelle and Taker are again on the Blake Monroe balcony at the PC for the main event.

DRAKE MORREAUX VS. ANTHONY LUKE

Hey hey hey, it’s Maxxine Dupri backstage with Anthony and hey hey hey, it’s Roxanne Perez with Drake!  We even get a potential Roxy/Maxxine showdown as they cut promos on each other.  Sweet!  They don’t accompany their better halves to the ring, though, which would have been the “follow that” moment here, instead sitting in the crowd with the rest of the poors.  Drake comes out to that dorky zydeco music, and I’m surprised Roxy actually acknowledges him after that.  I’d be like “I don’t know this dorkus, and I certainly don’t sleep with him.” Actually, him in the Carlito role in the Judgement Day has me curious.  They tie up to start, as we’re totally getting dorky Drake tonight. Luke pulls the hair and takes him down, drawing slight disagreement from the Callaways. Luke mocks Drake’s Cajun dumbassery, earning us more actual Drake dumbassery.  Yay.  Drake throws Luke around, but meets a boot in the corner.  Big slam from Drake is followed by a splash off the second rope.  Luke breaks a chokeslam attempt and heads outside, only to be caught by Drake.  Drake goes for the ten beats of the……crawfish, but gets hotshotted for his efforts.  Big right hand back in the ring from Drake, but misses the charge.  Luke with a nice running dropkick off the ropes for two.  Another big right from Drake, and it’s boo/yay time.  Big clotheslines from Drake, followed by a big boot.  Luke begs off in the corner and, of course, it s a trap, as Drake get pulled into the turnbuckle.  Spinning uranage finishes for Luke.

WINNER: ANTHONY LUKE

Match Rating: B+ From an in-ring standpoint, absolutely nothing wrong done here.  Both guys came to play, and were convincing in their role.

Drake: B The in-ring was fine, and he actually showed more intensity than he normally does.  The gimmick is still death.

Luke: A You could really see the slow transformation from a guy who watched a lot of heels on TV to a more well-rounded wrestler in the ring here.  Very impressed.

A nice touch of Roxanne Perez giving Anthony Luke the stinkeye after the match follows.

The judges and wrestlers get together, and I’d go Dani and……Shiloh tonight, although I wouldn’t argue with Sirena, Harlem, or Anthony either. Booker goes with Sirena.  Bubba goes with his own team member in Zena.  Taker goes with Dani, and it comes down to Michele.  Let’s see if she does the predictable…..and she doesn’t, going with Zena for the win. Better than Penina, I guess.

For the men, Booker continues to work the angle and tells us Harlem beat the crap out of Shiloh.  Taker tells Harlem to start taking liberties, or he’ll eventually wind up on the unemployment line.  This just in: Booker’s a dumbasss.  Michele basically tells Harlem and Shiloh cancelled each other out, and gives her vote to Anthony.  Bubba, the smartest person in the room, has Harlem admit things getting out of control was both his and Shiloh’s faults, and gives his point to Anthony as well.  Wait, who did Taker vote for?  I guess I missed a vote there.

With that, our standings are as follows:

TEAM MCCOOL: 7
TEAM UNDERTAKER: 5
TEAM BOOKER: 3
TEAM BUBBA: 3

As for the talent…

MEN’S SIDE:
SHILOH: 2
ANTHONY: 2
ELIJAH  :2
HARLEM: 1
DRAKE: 1
TRILL: 1

WOMEN’S SIDE:
PENINA: 4
SIRENA: 2
DANI: 2
ZENA: 1

Zena is happy with her victory, as she feels she’s been letting Bubba down this season.

NEXT TIME ON LFG, the rest of the gang gets a chance at bat, and I swear it looks like Haze has Alicia Taylor in a headlock at one point.  That’s probably Tatyanna, I’m guessing, but the former would certainly earn a FOLLOW THIS moment.

OVERALL RATING: A- I could do, once again, without the worked coach drama, but everyone brought it in the ring today.  That’s what matters.  A good one to check out.

See y’all later for Evolve.

Happy Wrensday, everyone.  Are we ready for some Evolve action?  There’s actually some Evolve news to start things out tonight, as the WWE made their first-ever ID releases this week, two of them being names you’ll recognize from the show in Jordan Oasis and Ice Williams.  Oasis was a wrestler we saw plenty of, and you can tell I wasn’t a huge fan from his being one of the usual butts of my jokes every week.  While a lot of what I saw from him felt very generic CAW, he could move decently in the ring.  Ice, we barely saw, but he seemed to be starting a program with Sean Legacy (and he actually may be in action tonight), so it’s hard to really have an opinion on him.  The third wrestler, Aaron Roberts, is one I have zero familiarity with.

Releases like this are going to happen.  The WWE took a closer look and didn’t see these guys as future superstars to invest further in.  I honestly think AEW should take a look at Oasis, as, in a world where they don’t have the access to young talent they used to have, someone who can move and at least has some training in working to hard cam is useful.  There have been plenty of ID successes thus far (Legacy, almost the entire Vanity Project), and there are bound to be some that don’t make the cut.

Now let’s watch some wrestling.

THEN. NOW. TRAVIS AND TAYLOR. TOGETHER.

We open with…..Jordan Oasis, actually, recapping Brooks Jensen turning on him against Swipe Right two weeks ago.  They’ll be facing each other tonight.  We then show Karmen Petrovic, Nikkita Lyons, and Chantel Monroe earning their way to a Fatal Four-Way, tonight, versus Evolve Women’s Champ Kali Armstrong.  That should be….all sorts of things.

And we head to the ring, fittingly on Wrensday, with our Evolve queen, Kendal Grey.  I wonder if we’re getting an Evolve farewell here.  She faces….

WENDY CHOO VS. KENDAL GREY

Kendal’s worked very well with vets, and I hope it carries over here. Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start, with Kendal taking Wendy down, and Wendy doing spooky things.  Kendal comes back with amateur things and gets a quick roll-up for two on Choo.  Wendy hits an elbow, which Kendal shakes off.  Wendy blocks a boot and gets the side-headlock on.  You can see them settling on a “look” for Kendal, as the ponytail and loose bangs seem to be the thing every week with her.  Kendal reverses a hip toss and takes Choo down with a firefighter’s carry.  Wendy backs Grey into the corner and, of course, we don’t get a clean break.  Kendal comes back with some athleticism, and you begin to see some signature moves emerging with her.  Watching young talent put it together is awesome.  Maybe Hook can try that sometime.  Low dropkick takes Wendy out to the outside, but Wendy comes back in as Kendal chases, allowing Choo to get the advantage with a neckbreaker.  We return from break to Kendal stuck in the Tree of Woe.  Choo gets a dropkick in that position and covers for two.  Kendal attempts to fight back, but gets taken down again so that Wendy can hit a neckwringer.  Wendy nails a clothesline and boot into the corner, only getting two on the subsequent cover.  They trade punches, and Kendal begins to get the better of Wendy.  Big clothesline from Kendal starts the comeback, and she nails a gorgeous flying elbow off the rope.  Rope-assisted stomp and a DDT get two from Kendal.  German suplex attempt gets reversed by Choo, and she locks in the Dirt Nap.  Kendal gets out of it and slowly climbs to the top, only to get caught by Choo.  Superplex by Wendy, followed by a brainbuster (called a suplex by Peter Rosenberg) only gets two, though.  The crowd gets behind our 61-0 goddess, and a roll-up and Randy Orton powerslam get two for Kendal.  Armbar is locked in my Kendal, but that’s reversed for two by Wendy.  Uncle Slam gets two for Wendy, and the Dirt Nap is locked in!  Kendal reverses……..for three!!!  The announcers wonder whether she even knows she’s won.

WINNER: Kendal Grey

MATCH RATING: B+. This brought the goods, and then some.  Wendy was a solid vet for Kendal to work off of, and the lightbulb has really gone on with her.

Kendal: A Bias aside, we watch shows like this because we enjoy watching the development of young wrestlers.  Kendal’s growing into a force before our very eyes, and is more than ready to succeed at the next level.  You’ve got to love it.

Choo: B+ This is why talent like Wendy, who may never be a force on the main roster, are important in the player/coach role, should they choose to accept such a role.  She led well here and made her younger opponent look like a million bucks.  Kudos.

Ice Williams is a good-looking dude, but the promo skills really don’t seem to be there as he hypes up his match next week with Sean Legacy.  This isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t have me thinking they made a mistake in cutting him either.

Karmen Petrovic STRETCHES WITH HER SWORD backstage.  Nikkita Lyons needs so such sword while she stretches.

BROOKS JENSEN VS. JORDAN OASIS

Oh joy.  I hope Oasis has a bus ticket to the 2300 Arena in his hobopack.  Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start.  No clean break in the corner from Jensen, who locks in the armbar.  Oasis drops Jensen with a right hand and hits a big body slam.  Standing senton gets two.  I’m bored.  Oasis goes back to the arm as the graphic tells us Oasis gave up all his possessions to become a nomad.  Well, that sucks. Oasis sends Jensen outside and, you’ll never guess this, but he then hits a dive to the outside.  Jensen rams Jordan’s arm into the post twice.  Good thing he has no worldly possessions to carry with that arm. Commercials only seemingly go on forever.  We return to Jensen hitting something boring off the top rope to a boring, prone Jordan Oasis for a boring two count.  Jensen goes back to working the arm.  Jordan fights back with boring punches before being sent in to the boring post.  Jensen gets a boring two before going back to working on the arm.  Jensen beats down on Oasis to the direct opposite of heel heat.  Jensen works the arm as the crowd actually begins to clap for Oasis.  Maybe they need to pee.  Oasis attempts a comeback, hitting a high knee, clothesline, elbow, and the second brainbuster “suplex” of the night.  BORING!  Blackout Cannonball gets two as Oasis does a decent job at selling the arm.  Jensen goes out to the apron, where they exchange blows.  Jensen tries to climb the ropes, but his arm seems asleep.  Even appendages are bored here.  Jensen clotheslines Oasis off the top rope, then hits the Southen Lariat for three.

WINNER: Brooks Jensen

MATCH RATING: Zzzz….

Oasis: C. Competent.  No sizzle.  I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Jensen: C+ You see what they’re trying here, but the overall package just isn’t impressive.  This is his ceiling right here as a singles wrestler.

Chuey Martinez approaches Jensen as he exits the ring for an interview.  Jensen fumbles the word “irrelevant” while telling us he’s gunning for the Evolve World Championship.  This is pretty strange, as this promo is straight out of a TBS studio in 1986 in its delivery.

Backstage, the Vanity Project tells Jackson Drake Jensen’s a headcase, and not much to worry about.  Drake tells the group that every faction has their ups and downs, but they are all young and have a lot ahead of them.  Stevie Turner enters the room to tell Drake she’s deciding on his next opponent.  Jackson tells Stevie it doesn’t matter, since Heartbreak Drake will put them down.  Simple and effective here.

Kali Armstrong hits the resistance bands, while Chantel Monroe consults her trusty compact.  Of course she does.  Your main event is next!

Masyn Holliday tells Layla Diggs she is from a small town in Georgia and craves competition.  Masyn cites being valedictorian of her class at Howard University (impressive!), as well as her track and field career there.  Masyn refers to Kylie Rae as the measuring stick in NXT and wants to see how she does against her.  Nice review of Masyn’s resume, as we previously knew next to nothing there.

KALI ARMSTRONG VS. NIKKITA LYONS VS. CHANTEL MONROE VS. KARMEN PETROVIC (FATAL FOUR-WAY FOR THE EVOLVE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP)

I’ve always loved Karmen’s entrance and would love for her to begin putting it together.  Kali oozes coolness in her entrance.  Chantel looks at her compact, while Nikkita does this thing called breathing, which annoys me.  Blake Howard gives us the big match intros, and the referee is eleven years old.  Man, I could see a Kali/Ms. Parker team going places.  Chantel and Nikkita go after their opponents to start, and that doesn’t go well for them as they’re both sent outside.  Kali and Karmen square off.  Kali blocks a hip toss and hits a big slam.  Karm recovers and attempts to lock in a full nelson with the legs.  Chantel and Nikkita enter and hook in submissions of their own, and the action is now going faster than I can type.  Kali takes control of all three and hits spears into the corner on Chantel and Nikkita before meeting Karmen’s knees.  Kali recovers and powerslams both Karmen and Chantel, individually, before Nikkita breaks the count as we go to break. We return to Karmen and Nikkita blocking each other’s kicks, before Nikkita finally nails one and gets her own chance to take out the field.  Was that a Pearl River Plunge by Nikkita? I think it was.  Kali takes control again, though, but a powerslam attempt is reversed into a roll-up by Karmen for two.  It’s now Karm’s turn to shine, and she rakes out Nikkita, then head-scissoring Kali down.  Karmen hits the big kick, but Chantel stops the pin.  Chantel then gets her shine spot and, no, it’s not as impressive as everyone else’s.  Chantel goes to the top, shoves both Kali and Karmen down, but eventually wings up in the Tower of Doom spot.  Nikkita gets up and covers Karmen and Kali, separately, for two.  Nikkita attempts to fight off both Kali and Karmen, but that doesn’t last.  Nikkita and Kali double clothesline each other in the ring while Chantel and Karmen go at it outside.  Kylie Rae suddenly arrives and shoves Chantel, leading to Karmen taking both down.  Kylie and Chantel fight to the back, leaving the other three in the ring. Kali goes to powerbomb Nikkita, hitting it while also eating a kick from Karmen.  Karmen rolls up Nikkita for two as Kali hits the outside.  Nikkita hits the Samoan Drop, but misses the big splash as Kali pulls Karmen out of the ring.  Kali and Nikkita are left alone, and the Kali Connection hits for three.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Kali Armstrong

Match Rating: B+ Fast action.  Minimal botching.  I can vibe with this.

Kali: A Like Kendal Grey before here, there’s not much left at this level for Kali, but defend the title.  I have to say she’s getting close to Bron-like speed on that Kali Connection.  That’s going to take her to big places.

Nikkita: B+ Yes, she can be annoying, but the heel turn has brought out the best in her once the bell rings.  She held her own, and then some, here.

Karmen: A- There’s enough experience there for her to more than know her way around a match like this.  The kicks are always great.

Chantel: B- She kept up well enough, but it was pretty obvious here that she was the least experienced of the bunch.

Kali celebrates with the belt as the show ends.

OVERALL RATING: B Solid show this week, as both the women’s matches very much delivered.  The men’s match really had no hope, considering who was involved, but this is developmental after all.  Both women’s matches are worth watching, as Kali and Kendal are going to be up to some big things sooner rather than later.

See you all on Sunday for LFG.

Happy Monday morning, folks.  There’s no way I could have handled more wrestling after Heatwave last night, so here we are, early in the morning, tuning in to the LFG.  As far as LFG-relevant talent on the show goes, let’s give Tyra Mae Steele her flowers for turning in probably her best in-ring performance in the WWE last night.  It wasn’t an easy feat, considering the Lowell, MA crowd completely turned on her and Tavion Heights.  Kudos there, and I hope they stay the course with her.  The woman’s got charisma.  I also hope that, for those who watched, Forbidden Door was as forbidden and as door as you expected.  Now, onto what I hear is going to be Shawn Michaels yelling at people.

SEASON 2, EPISODE 9: FIGHT BACK!

TONIGHT ON LFG, Tatyanna Dumas returns to take on Summer Sorrell, Drake Morreaux takes on Chris Island, BJ Ray takes on Trill London and, in our main event, Dani Sekelsky will take on Haze Jameson.  Do these matches inspire confidence in me?  Not really, but I have a feeling this is the point tonight.

Back at the PC, Elijah Holyfield informs us he tore his bicep during training.  Bubba lets Elijah know how heartbroken he is, as he was enjoying watching him grow as a talent this season.  This is really terrible, as Elijah was far and away the best of the males this season.  Send this man to NXT upon his return.

Harlem is working out and pondering the conversation with Booker T, which, in real time, we don’t really know when such occurred.  When it comes to this show, though, this exchange occurred LAST NIGHT.  Harlem agrees to let Jesus Booker take the wheel, and he’s gunning for Shiloh Hill.  He also drives away in an old-school station wagon, which is the most un-Harlem Lewis choice of wheels ever.

Shawn comes in and doesn’t at all yell at anyone.  He does confirm my theory that tonight’s matches were chosen to give talent potentially on the chopping block a chance to prove they’re worthy.  A giant spotlight emerges from the sky and lands on Tatyanna, who then chooses to shit-talk Summer as far as remembering the details of their match.  Well, that takes some nerve.  Let’s go to the ring, where I hope Tatyanna steps on a rake for that.

TATYANNA DUMAS VS. SUMMER SORRELL

Tats has a decent heel entrance tonight, I’ll give her that. Summer gives Tatyanna a couple of shoves and a slap to start, then escapes to the ropes?  Who the heck is the heel here?  Tatyanna remembers to take Summer down and works the arm. Crucifix by Tatyanna for two, as the face/heel alignment here is completely wrong.  Tatyanna basically gives Summer her hair to pull and gets taken down.  Summer, who’s been doing this for about a week, takes Tatyanna down with a Russian leg sweep for two,  then hits the chinlock.  Tatyanna escapes, and here’s the comeback.  Two shoulderblocks and a roll-up get two and then….wait for it….Tatyanna forgets what to do.  This leads to a huge mess, which ultimately ends with Summer rolling Tats up, with her feet on the ropes, for three.

WINNER: SUMMER SORRELL

Match Rating: C- It wasn’t business-exposing or anything, but this wasn’t good, and there’s mostly one reason why.

Tatyanna: D+ Yes, there was progress, as the moves she actually hit looked good.  She still has no presence in there, can’t remember her moves, and basically walked in there as a heel and wrestled as the faciest face to ever face.

Summer: C+ Summer Sorrell, who has under a year’s experience, had to lead this match.  To be honest, she didn’t do the worst job.  She continues to have a good head for this, and her stuff looks good.  There’s a wrestler there.

Backstage, Summer tells us she’s not here to be relatable, she’s here to be remembered.  The message she sent tonight is that she’s better than all of them.  Heeldom could work well here, as we’ve got way too many blonde cheerleader types in developmental.

Michelle loves Trill London’s smile and can tell he’s got star written all over him.  He’s not the reason this match was booked, though.  It’s BJ, who is backstage with Bubba.  BJ tells Bubba he’s a heel, not a babyface.  Bubba, obviously a bit incredulous, disagrees, but will give BJ exactly what he wants.  What this is couldn’t be more obvious if Admiral Ackbar popped up on the screen itself and told us.

TRILL LONDON VS. BJ RAY

BJ walks around like his deodorant needs to dry, as I think the underachievers are mostly being sent out here to die tonight.  Someone will eventually prove us wrong, but it’s not going to be BJ.  He does, however, low blow Trill as he poses on the second rope, definitely getting the crowd behind Trill from the start.  The world’s greatest heel move, the atomic drop, starts the match.  Trill fights back, but gets caught in a beautiful spinebuster which may be the best move BJ Ray has ever hit in his career.  He doesn’t cover, though, going for the chinlock instead.  Trill reverses into a nice neckbreaker, but gets taken down again with a clothesline by BJ.  Bj meets an elbow twice in the corner.  Trill makes the mistake of going to the second rope again and pays for it.  Trill eventually goes for the blockbuster, but BJ barely flinches and it looks like complete crap.  Dropkick by Trill takes BJ down, and the swanton gets three.

WINNER: Trill London

Match Rating: C- I didn’t realize this was a “hold my beer” contest between Tatyanna and BJ, but here we are.

BJ: D+ Enough is enough, already.  If this dude could actually bump and sell, his ceiling would be Iron Mike Sharpe.  Do you waste TV time on that?  No, you don’t.

Trill: B- Again, a worker with almost no experience basically leads a waste of roster space during their match.  Everything looked good here, with the botches being mostly BJ thinking he’s too good to get into proper position.  I’m also liking the Jeff Hardy homage with Trill.  It separates him from otherwise similar wrestlers already doing big things.

BJ argues with the ref in the background, which I do like.  If there’s any future for him, it’s as a solid enhancement talent who complains.  He then confronts Trill backstage as to some punches thrown during the match, which Trill informs him Michelle asked for him to do.  BJ threatens to kick his butt if he tries this again, to which Trill basically says “let’s go.”  Is this a shoot brawl?  Is anything a shoot here?  Who knows, but they throw down as we go to break.  When we return, they are quickly separated, but not before Trill calls BJ a ho.  BJ thinks he got the better of Trill in the three seconds they fought, because of course.  Can I give BJ some coaching advice?  Develop a phantom forearm injury.

We switch gears to Chris Island and Drake Morreaux, and both guys are probably the underachievers in this one.

DRAKE MORREAUX VS. CHRIS ISLAND

No entrances here, as both guys are already in the ring.  Island’s in his martial arts gear, and Drake’s playing the happy bayou guy.  Both guys are working snug, and I raise my head from typing in time for Drake to hit a big clothesline and splash for two.  Drake with punches in the corner, but misses a charge into the opposite corner.  Codebreaker into the arm for Island, but he takes a bit too much time following up.  Island works the arm against the ropes, and is obviously working heel here.  Things spill to the outside, and Drake slowly jogs into the post as we go to break.  Chris throws Drake into the ring and covers for two.  Drake goes back to working the arm.  Drake eventually escapes with an armdrag, going for the chokeslam, but Chris sticks with the armlock.  The comeback eventually happens for Drake, and I appreciate the lack of foolishness and dancing during it.  Chris gets the upper hand, goes to the top again, but meets chokeslam for three.

WINNER: Drake Morreaux

Match Rating: C This was probably the most replacement level of matches you’ll ever watch as, while neither guy really did anything bad, neither guy did anything you’d want to watch either.

Island: C Proficient.  Knew what he had to do.  Hit his stuff.  Worked a decent heel game.  I’ve already forgotten what he did.

Drake: C He’s the Josh Briggs of Josh Briggses. He’s big.  He kind of works big.  Nothing ever looks imposing or intimidating.  There was less of the funny bayou dancing stuff.  We will give him that this week.

Drake dances after the bell. He’s lucky I don’t dock him a half point for that.

I find it a bit weird that Dani Sekelsky is grouped in with the underachievers, but here we are.  This appears to be more about Taker wanting to see some aggression in Dani’s game, which I agree she could use as she moves up the ladder.  Grouping her with the ham-and-eggers we’ve seen so far, though?  I don’t know about that.  Haze gets some time, and she wants to show she’s getting better.

HAZE JAMESON VS. DANI SEKELSKY

I love both these ladies, so I’m looking forward to this.  Haze is back to her party girl self as she enters, and the coaches love it.  Dani does her cheerleader entrance and, if she’s able to shift into an aggressive side, it should only be more effective.  Haze continues to drunkenly yell at folks during this, which is great.  Collar-and-elbow tie up to start.  Haze rakes the eyes and sends Dani into the corner.  Haze is a bit low-energy with her heel attack, but at least she isn’t being asked to carry the match like the other two newbs were.  Dani GETS AGGRESSIVE and goes for the punches, but kind of accidentally falls out of the ring.  They improvise and hit the outside, where Haze continues to ham it up.  We’re all watching one woman here, and it’s not Dani. Sigh.  Dani gets the fake hope spot, but Haze counters with a hair-assisted takedown for two.  Haze hits the chinlock and, goddamn, I love this woman.  She may have to face Kendal Grey one day for my affections.  That’s not a prediction.  That’s a spoiler. Dani finally hits the big clothesline, and the comeback begins.  Dani does have the crowd behind her, taking Haze down in a sort-of confusing moment.  DDT from Dani gets three.

WINNER: Dani Sekelsky

Match Rating: C+ Match of the night, but that’s not saying much here.  Once again, the inexperienced newbie looked better than the second-season vet.

Dani: C- I’m definitely not on the “Dani is an underachiever” wagon, but she picked a hell of a week to have her worst performance.  She was asked to go out there and be more aggressive, and none of it was convincing in the least.

Haze: B+ I’ve said it since her early Evolve days: this girl has it.  The gimmick is great, and what’s needed is the reps and experience to put all together.  She’s got a future, and then some.

Everyone gathers backstage, and my points would go to Trill and Haze this week, although I wouldn’t be too mad if we went with Summer instead. Michells, of course, gives Dani her point.  Booker agrees.  Bubba, somehow still the smartest person on this show, gives Haze a point, but Taker doesn’t want to sleep on the couch, so he goes with Dani, giving her the win.  I don’t see it.

On the men’s side, Taker goes with Trill.  Booker and Bubba agree, and Bubba refers to Trill as “Trill Hardy.”  Michelle gives Trill the clean sweep, and it’s well deserved.

We then go for what ultimately matters here, which is the COACH STANDINGS.  I have no idea who has what, which goes to show how much this dumb title matters to me.

Team McCool is in the lead with six points.
Team Undertaker has five points.
Team Booker has three points.
Team Bubba has two points.  Team Bubba never wins anything, which is interesting since, take away the dumbassery and Bubba usually has the best advice to give.

We also have individual wrestler standings, which actually matter much more to me.

Men’s side:
Shiloh: 2
Elijah: 2
Harlem: 1
Drake: 1
Anthony: 1
Trill: 1

Women’s side:
Penina: 4
Sirena: 2
Dani: 2

Michelle puts Trill over more to end the show.  Trill tells us that bleep’s about to get real, and walks away.  Taker puts over Dani’s increased aggression and, while I do love Dani, I didn’t see it at all.  Backstage, Dani calls herself the toughest bitch in this locker room, and the promo she cuts is far more convincing that what she showed in the ring.  This was good.

NEXT WEEK, Bubba challenges Zena, and everyone plays up Shiloh and Harlem’s beef.

OVERALL RATING: B-  The whole was absolutely better than the sum of its parts this week as, while the action was ho-hum, the overall theme worked very well.  They’ve got some potential diamonds in Haze, Summer, and Trill.  I will absolutely give them that.  Dani’s end-of-show promo was money, and I hope the in-ring intensity continues to follow.  The rest?  Meh.

See you all on Wednesday for Evolve.

It’s a rainy, unseasonably cold Wednesday night in New England, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for Chuey Martinez.  Yes, folks, it’s time for Evolve.  What’s going on in the world of Evolve?  Well, both Tyra Mae Steele and Kendal Grey seem to slowly be working their way onto NXT.  Frankly, both have looked right at home and far more comfortable, both in the ring, on the mic, on the CW.  It has me thinking about the level of production for both Evolve and LFG, and how much it’s truly setting the youngins up for success.  I’m not here to think, though.  I’m here to review, and that’s what I will do.

THEN. NOW. BABY UCE. FOREVER. TOGETHER.

LAST WEEK, Karmen Petrovic somehow won and lost at the same time by sending the forementioned Tyra Mae straight to NXT, while staying behind and earning a shot at the Evolve Women’s Championship.

TONIGHT, though, Kylie Rae faces Chantel Monroe in a second Championship Eliminator match.  Apparently, that’s all that will happen.  Good, I could use a short review, as I’m feeling kinda chatty otherwise.

Referee Hottie is already in the ring for our match, and look at that, it’s….

KYLIE RAE VS. CHANTEL MONROE (WWE EVOLVE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP ELIMINATOR MATCH)

This should actually be a good test for Chantel, to be honest.  Chantel is out with her compact, and I assume Kylie uses her Costco membership often.  IDK.  I’ve often thought the best gimmick for Kylie would be the suburban mom mirror image of Chelsea Green.  See what I mean?  Chatty.  Ok, here we go. Chantel works the arm and brings Kylie down into an armbar pretty quickly.  Chantel further works the arm before treating her hand like an invisible mirror.  This gives Kylie enough time to begin working the arm herself.  Peter announces Sean Legacy versus Ridge Holland in our main event tonight.  During all this, Kylie continues working on the arm.  Chantel attempts to take Kylie down, but Kylie goes back to WORKING THE ARM.  Two arm drags by Kylie, and works the arm like this is a 1986 eight-minute NWA squash.  Chantel mixes this up by working an actual headlock.  Several crisscrosses against the ropes lead to a roll-up and low dropkick from Kyle for two.  KYLIE WORKS THE ARM, but a not-so-clean break against the ropes allows Chantel to take control in the corner with some punches and kicks.  Kylie gets the upper hand and sends Chantel into the turnbuckle, then does it again on the other side.  Armdrag off the top rope and weak dropkick from Kylie sends Chantel to the apron, but Chantel gets the upper hand with a neckbreaker against the second rope while we go to break for what only seems like three hours.  We return to Chantel hitting another neckbreaker inside the rink for two.  Chantel with knees to the back of the head, then takes Chantel down for a neck snap, which gets two.  Work that neck, Chantel. Kylie fights out of a neck vice, but Chantel continues with her strikes to the back of the head.  A third neckbreaker is reversed into a roll-up for Kylie for two.  Kylie begins her comeback with two clothesline.  Big kick for Kylie, but she drops to the mat selling the neck.  Kylie attempts a charge, but meets boot.  Kylie with an inverted DDT off the second rope for a 2 ½ count.  Roll-ups are exchanged for two.  Kylie reverses a tilt-a-whirl something, but gets hot-shotted against the top rope.  Codebreaker aka “The Perfect Ending” finishes for Monroe.

WINNER: CHANTEL MONROE

MATCH RATING: B- Mostly basic stuff, but some good psychology once Chantel began working on the neck.  Both women looked well in there.

Kylie: B The fact that the experience gap wasn’t evidenced between the two can be partially credited to Kylie leading very well here.  If anything, she makes for a hell of a player/coach.

Chantel: B I’d say some small steps were taken here, as Chantel knew what she was doing at all times, and held her own with the far more experienced Kylie.  Good job.

Keanu Carver talks up his victory over Bryce Donovan last week, reminding us how he’s worked through the entire WWE ID Program.  He’s going to bring the Evolve title back to the crib.

Vanity Project watch the segment backstage.  Jackson Drake is nervous, as he thinks Keanu is not right in the head.  Additional tension is teased between the unit and Bryce Donovan, who was apparently upsetting Zayda Steel too much.

Prime Minister Stevie Turner is backstage with WWE Evolve Women’s Champion Kali Armstrong, who wants to know who her next opponent is and OH CRAP here’s Nikkita Lyons.  I thought we’d long last parted ways, but no. This is 2025.  Nikkita wants some gold, and this somehow leads to Stevie booking a fatal four-way match, with Kali defending against Nikkita, Chantel, and Karmen.  Kali reacts with actual restraint.  I’d have decked Stevie right then and there for selling me down the river like that.

SWIPE RIGHT (W/ THE VANITY PROJECT) VS. MARCUS MATHERS AND AARON ROURKE

I remember really disliking Aaron Rourke in his first Evolve match, as his gimmick appears to be every bald gay guy in my grad school social work classes.  Everyone in this match is already wearing about the same shade of pink somewhere in their gear.  Rourke actually kind of looks like the most hilarious Jon Moxley alternate gimmick to start.  Smokes has him in a headlock, but Rourke grabs the ear, then hits a cartwheel and dropkick.  Mathers comes in and hits a tornado DDT off of Rourke’s back.  Brad Baylor gets tagged in and goes to attack, but Mathers quickly takes control.  Big chop by Mathers, followed by a knee to the gut.  Smokes distracts Mathers as he climbs the ropes, and Baylor takes control.  Some double-teaming gets a quick two for Swipe Right.  Smokes cuts off the ring and tags Baylor back in.  Smokes whips Baylor into Mathers for a two count. More double-teaming while Boy Moxley argues with the ref. Mathers escapes a double-team attempt with a big kick and cutter off the second rope.  HOT TAG to Rourke.  Double knees off the top gets a two for Rourke. Rourke tweaks his knee while attempting a split legged moonsault, but tags out to Mathers.  Mathers and Baylor exchange kicks, with Smokes tagging in and hitting a spread on Mathers.  Of course, Rourke isn’t there for the tag, while means Swipe Right attempt the Super Swipe, but Rourke is actually there on the apron to trip up Baylor.  Mathers dispatches of them both, tags in Rourke, who hits a spear of his own on Smokes.  Moonsault to the outside nails both guys.  Spinning powerslam gets two for Mathers as this isn’t bad. Smokes pushes Rourke off the top rope.  The rest of the VP distract the ref, and Bryce Donovan nails Mathers from the outside, finally setting up the Super Swipe for the three.

WINNERS: Swipe Right

MATCH RATING: B+ Some nice teamwork by both teams, with several fake endings I bought pretty well.

Swipe Right: A- They are who they are, at this point.  You’re going to get a solid outing every time, as their work on this level seems pretty much complete.

Mathers: B+ Mathers always looks good in there, but the presentation needs to get to the next level here, and he comes off as indie high flyer #267, and nothing else.

Rourke: A- The second time around was the charm with Rourke for me, especially once I noticed the Mox resemblance.  The in-ring was good with him, and he seems to know his character well. Let’s see more.

All appears right in the land of the Vanity Project, with Donovan holding both Zayda and Smokes in his arms.

Jamar Hampton and It’s Gal work out and, of course, Jamar attempts to teach It’s Gal proper form on bicep curls.  Gal does some nice push-ups, which make me jealous as I haven’t done many of those since I tore my shoulder.  Gal nails what looks like 180 plus the bar on bench press.  This somehow turns into a successful work out, and both go for protein shakes.  Alrighty, then.

Our main event is next!

More ads which go about as long as the next AEW PPV.  They’re just counterprogramming everything as this point.  Can JetSpeed beat a Words With Friends ad?

Kendal Grey is big mad (and big gorgeous) that Wendy Choo took out Carlee Bright and then laughed.  She wants her in the ring next week.  Jax Pressley and Harley Riggins are two former football players, and they’ve got their eyes on Cappuccino Jones and Jack Cartwheel.

NEXT WEEK, we’ve got Kendal/Wendy, along with Brooks Jensen vs Jordan Oasis and the Women’s Championship Fatal Four-Way.

SEAN LEGACY VS. RIDGE HOLLAND

Has anyone fallen harder than Ridge Holland without getting fired, ever? Sammy Guevara looks at him and goes “wow, that kinda sucks.”   Ridge has “Steam Pig” written on his outfit, which I’m sure will…..not get over.  Big match intros by Blake Howard meet about four people doing the British “one fall” thing.  Ridge immediately takes Legacy down with power and peppers him with a couple of uppercuts.  Legacy quickly gets an advantage, but hits several headbutts from Ridge.  Ridge does look slightly better with his head and arms taped up, trying to get back to the whole rugby thing.  Tate Wilder watches backstage on the monitor as Sean can’t seem to get an advantage. Legacy finally hits a low dropkick, a second dropkick, and peppers Ridge with kicks before the standing moonsault gets two.  We cut to break for another six days. We return to Ridge in control.  Ridge hits THAT overhead suplex and continues to have the advantage.  Legacy finally comes back with some chops, but just gets powerslammed again for his efforts. This has been a very one-sided match, which seems to telegraph who pulls it off in the end.  Legacy gets another comeback with two superkicks and a high DDT, finally bringing Ridge down while Tate Wilder is STILL watching backstage.  Legacy with punches and kicks, followed by a German suplex on Ridge.  Legacy misses the charge and gets caught off the ropes into a reverse slam from Ridge.  Low dropkick into a jackhammer only gets two for Ridge.  Ridge misses his own charge, with Legacy hitting an enziguri and sidewalk slam for two. Legacy tries for Shambles, but Ridge is over 100 pounds.  Ridge hits a big cannonball into the corner, and gutwrench suplex ends things.  Dayum.

WINNER: Ridge Holland

MATCH RATING: B Probably Ridge’s best effort in a good while, but I have to wonder what’s with the obvious de-pushing of Sean Legacy, as that was a glorified squash.

Ridge: B+ New look and more aggressive style shows me that Ridge knows his days are numbered otherwise unless he does SOMETHING.  The ceiling is still NXT-level midcard bully, though.

Legacy: B: Sure, he sold the beating well, but they’ve soundly beaten him twice in the past few weeks, and I’m not sure what’s up with that.

Legacy heads backstage, where Ice Williams is ready to talk some trash.  Shoving ensues while Ridge remains in the ring celebrating victory.

OVERALL RATING: B- Nothing was outright bad here.  Everyone wrestled competently, and Chantel Monroe seemed to take a step forward tonight.  Forgettable, but solid, show.

Enjoy your Wednesday evening, and I’ll see you Sunday for LFG.

Happy Monday morning, everyone, where the wonderful quirks of being self-employed allow me to get up early and watch a reality TV show about pro wrestling, about a quarter-transcribe it, and give my thoughts on it for you all, or at least those of you who can find it underneath stuff like “The SMARK Rant on The Snorks, Season 2.”  Do you remember the Snorks?  I do.  They tried to fool us by giving them a similar name to the Smurfs, but did it work?  No, it didn’t, much like BJ Ray’s wrestling career thus far.  Now that we’re back on topic, let’s get to the show.

SEASON TWO, EPISODE EIGHT: TOP DOG (My gawd, maybe the special guest will be Al Greene.)

TONIGHT, Zena Sterling battles Sirena Linton in a battle of, probably, the best two long-term futures here, Harlem Lewis takes on BJ Ray, the hoss women battle each other as Bayley Humphrey takes on P. Nasty, and, in our main event, probably the two most polished men face off as Anthony Luke takes on Shiloh Hill.  That may be better than most Evolve lineups.   Looking forward to this.

At the PC, we return to last week’s closing events, when Bubba Ray walked off and declared a deep state conspiracy against Zena Sterling, which I’m sure is great for this young wrestler’s confidence and understanding of her fit in this business.  Bubba tells us the problem is that greatness is expected from Zena every week.  The Undertakers team up and say that it’s actually Panina who is the frontrunner.  Well, I’m not so sure about that.

Sirena is in medical to start the show after getting knocked out last week.  Sirena agrees with Perfecto that Bayley actually choked her unconscious while in press slam position, but she’s been cleared this week as everything gets resolved between episodes on here.

Shawn Michaels meets with everyone and discusses injuries.  Sadly, Elijah Holyfield has been injured, and we’re not sure when he’s coming back.  That really sucks, but Bubba naturally responds by telling us ALL THE WEIGHT is on Zena now.  Zena, here’s my business card if you need a therapist.  Shawn wants to know who the two top dogs are here tonight and asks the trainers to each name their top individuals.  Booker picks Harlem and Sirena.  Bubba picks Zena and, by default, BJ.  Even BJ laughs at this.  Michelle picks Panina and Anthony.  By process of elimination, this means Taker picks Shiloh and Bayley.

Booker and Bubba are talking, and Booker expresses his inner feelings by telling us he’s frustrated with Harlem’s cockiness.  Right when you think Booker’s finally shed a few toxic layers, he tells us he’s the general on this team, and Harlem’s just a private.  Speaking of privates, I’m surprised Booker doesn’t pull out a ruler at this point and try to measure.  Bubba, in turn, believes the problem is ACTUALLY Zena may be resting on her lau……no, wait, the problem is just that Zena is too damn good.  Bubba challenges Zena to step up her game.  Meanwhile, Sirena cuts an amazing promo before her match.  See, I think the problem may be that Sirena’s just the better prospect.

SIRENA LINTON VS. ZENA STERLING

Sirena with the go behind, but gets taken down by Zena and into an armbar, praised by both Booker and Bubba.  The Takers both stay quiet because they’re planning on just gushing over Panina later.  See, now I’m in on the conspiracy.  Zena with some seriously nice mat work here, and the crowd begins to get behind her, right on cue.  Sirena finally pulls the hair to break and hits a DDT for two.  Bubba notes that the trainees aren’t using their legs to kick out, just the shoulders.  Roll-up by Zena for two, as Sirena hits the chinlock and is matching Zena performance-wise here thus far.  Zena gets the comeback with puches, a clothesline, but meets an elbow in the corner.  Sirena misses flippy shit off the top, and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for the three.

WINNER: Zena Sterling

MATCH RATING: B Honestly a bit too short and basic to give much of a rating to, as I do think these two are capable of far more if given the time.  What was there was done with a lot of poise, though.

Zena: A- The in-between stuff is coming together, but this format is doing her no favors.  She needs reps, at this point, with more experienced workers.  We still also need to figure out what her gimmick is other than “I wear a nightie.”

Sirena: A- The same can be said here, although Sirena knows who she is a bit more.  Sirena is an incredibly solid prospect who I think we’ll be seeing a lot of moving forward in this business.

Bubba discusses Zena selling the shoulder too much, which I don’t really get.  Zena, backstage, hopes she did Bubba proud, but admits she’s feeling a bit more pressure.  Win or lose, she needs the next level and STAT.

Harlem admits to some difficulty communicating during match prep while BJ works on his cat/cows.  I blank out on what BJ has to say because it’s same crap every time.

HARLEM LEWIS VS. BJ RAY

Hard collar-and-elbow tie-up with trash talk from Harlem.  BJ works the side headlock.  Harlem with the body shots in the ropes, and a big slam off the ropes.  When we return from break, BJ has Harlem in a chinlock, as Booker notes both reversed face/heel dynamics at the start of the match.  This immedicately changes, as Harlem begins to beat the ever-living crap out of BJ.  Harlem slams BJ again on the floor.  BJ re-enters the ring at seven, after asking the announcers what they’re feeding Harlem.  Again, that’s a heel line, BJ.  BK works out of a chinlock, and we hit an incredibly awful comeback sequence from BJ.  Just zero behind any of his stuff, and the coaches agree with me.  Harlem tries to lift him up for the jackhammer, but BJ counters into a small package for the three.

WINNER: BJ Ray

MATCH RATING: B- Obviously bad comeback sequence aside, the work here was fine from both guys, but even Helen Keller could tell you what the issue is here.

Harlem: A- Again, why is this guy here, and not NXT, unless this is just an attempt to get the fans to know the guy a bit better?

BJ: C- Technically, he’s not the worst, but you know the drill, at this point.  He’s far more concerned with entertaining than making things look good and realistic.  This guy’s a manager, not a wrestler, if he continues in this business.  That’s his best fit.

BJ tells us he can do whatever he wants because the crowd is behind him. Harlem admits he’s not on the same page and his coach, and agrees it’s time to sort it out.  Meanwhile, Taker and Michele make this all about their marriage when discussing their matches.  This just in: I don’t care about your marriage dynamics.  Meanwhile, a Samoan Dusty Rhodes, apparently Panina’s dad, enters the frame.  Of note is that Panina’s dad is wearing a t-shirt with a fake collarbone tattoo reading “Only God Can Judge Me,” with a fake cross necklace, on it.  You were going to be on TV, sir.  Get this man some polka dots, please.

P. NASTY VS. BAYLEY HUMPHREY

Of course, the Undertakers sit in the Blake Monroe position at the PC, as I ponder how much better this would be if we replaced them both with the Miz and Maryse next season, who actually don’t have their head in each other’s ass at all times.  Kinky.  Then again, maybe not.  Also, ew.  Note to Bayley: Don’t grab the neck this time.  HOSS collar-and-elbow to start, with no quarter given.  They trade shoves, and Panina runs right into two body slams from Bayley.  Bayley misses the charge into the corner, and gets shoved into the top rope, then out of the ring.  No gusto on any of it, though.  This improves on the outside when Panina rams her into the barrier, then the apron, with authority.  Back in the ring, nice uppercuts from Panina, and she then takes out the leg.  Bayley fights out of a chin lock with a hip toss, but meets a spear from Panina.  Bayley gets her foot under the ropes to break the pin attempt and as I ponder how Panina will get 800 points from her team for this, since this is actually a reality show about marriage.  Samoan drop gets two, but Panina gets powerbombed out the corner for the three count.

WINNER: Bayley Humphrey

MATCH RATING: A- Two meaty women beating their meat, as their kids say, and it 99.9% worked.

Bayley: A- Nice rebound performance from Bayley this week, using her size and power well, and everything looked like it hurt.

Panina: A- Copy/paste from above, although P. Nasty still needs to show us a bit more of her nasty consistently.  Consider this an A–.

Backstage, Shiloh tells us he got kicked in the face as a live event and has a bit of a shiner.  Oh, it’s more than a bit of a shiner.  Those things suck.  Thankfully, it’s been thirty years or so.  I’ll tell you all that story another time.

ANTHONY LUKE VS. SHILOH HILL

We should expect very good things, right?  I mean, these are the two most big league-ready dudes here. Shiloh should be a mid-upper card player in NX……SNEAK ATTACK BY ANTHONY LUKE to start.  He didn’t even let me finish my sentence.  Punches in the corner by Anthony quickly get reversed into Shiloh going on attack.  BIIIIIIIIG back bodydrop by Shiloh, and some great heigh by Luke.  Some nice back and forth here ends in a belly-to-back suplex by Shiloh.  Luke is up first, though.  Punches back and forth just make Shiloh get more mad.  Two clotheslines and a neckbreaker from Shiloh lead to a spinning senton for two.  Luke, though, GOES FOR THE SHINER, and that enables him to hit the spinning urinage for three.

WINNER: Anthony Luke

MATCH RATING: A- A perfectly good sprint, but still too short to get the full rating.

Shiloh: A This dude does nothing but present himself as a complete package every week.  Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was trying to explain to y’all that he could be a mid/upper card player in NXT right now.  Of course, I couldn’t finish that sentence because of…..

Anthony: A Another technically solid performance here, as the heel work is getting better and better, and really beginning to define his character more.  I’m not sure he’s ready to be singles guys character-wise yet, but lose the dead weight in Darkstate, make them a trio with him, Sugars, and Lennox, and we may have something a hell of a lot better than Buttman on Tuesdays.

So I’ll go with Anthony and either Bayley/Panina this week which, of course, means Panina, since god forbid the happy couple disagree on anything. Everyone but Booker, who gives his point to Sirena, gives their point to Panina, of course.  Booker takes Harlem to task, but Harlem says he’s no CAW.  Shiloh gets the unanimous vote here for the win, as the Takers sweep the points.  Anthony Luke cuts a hell of a promo as to this being his show, and Panina shows where she still needs to grow with her promo.

After all this, Harlem asks to speak to Booker off-camera. Harlem doesn’t say why but tells us he’s had a history of anger issues, and knows what’s best for him is to talk it out before he internalizes things.  That’s actually healthy which, naturally, leads to Booker calling him an alpha.  They still hug it out, though.

NEXT WEEK, Drake, Dani, and Trill get their turn at bat, and something goes awry with Trill and BJ backstage.  Maybe.

OVERALL RATING: B+ The in-ring was going to be better, since the better in-ring talents, at this point in time, were featured this week.  This was a bit too much about the stunted children we call trainers on this show, though.

See you all on Wednesday for Evolve.  It’s time to get semi-professionally dressed.

Hey everyone.  It’s Wednesday night. We’ve successfully gotten halfway through the week, and we can sit back and enjoy the second-to-bottom rung of the WWE developmental ceiling with another episode of Evolve.  If you watched NXT last night, you noticed some Evolve talent getting some additional shine.  My personal favorite little badass cupcake, Kendal Grey, had a pretty damn good match with Alba Fyre, which tells me the front office has taken notice of her efforts. I thought she had her best match ever, and I look forward to a hell of a lot more crossover with NXT.  Tyra Mae Steele also continued to not know what show she belongs on, as she’s seemingly started an alliance with Tavion Heights.  Honestly, I think she belongs in NXT, and that this partnership could really help get them both over, especially if their initial foils are the Secret Hervice, Chelsea Green, and Ethan Page, all pros who will make sure they’re getting cheered.  That’s Tuesday, though, and this is Wednesday.  Let’s get to the show!

THEN. NOW. FOREVER. TOGETHER.  AS KAT SAYS, DUN DUN.
No link, however.  I’m lazy.

LAST WEEK, Keanu Carver took care of Bryce Donovan, who did not know Brad Baylor had recommended him for that match.  There is beginning to be some dissension within the ranks of the Vanity Project on the way to Keanu challenging Jackson Drake.  Kali Armstrong also dispatched of Jin Tala before getting interrupted by Karmen Petrovic.  Tyra Mae Steele took umbrage with this due to their brief history on NXT, and an eliminator match for a title shot has been booked tonight.  Interested in seeing how it goes, considering recent events on NXT.

Referee Hottie stands in the ring in preparation for the first match.

TATE WILDER VS. BROOKS JENSEN

The mildly interesting versus the not-at-all-interesting-whatsoever. I’m not sure what Jensen would gain here from winning, but I sense the pecking order rearing its ugly head here.  Tate gets some chants from the crowd as Jensen hits the side headlock and a couple of shoulder tackles.  Tate fights out of a wristlock and hits his own series of shoulder blocks, needing four to take down noted gigantic hoss Brooks Jensen.  Wilder hits a moonsault to the outside, and the crowd approves.  Wilder hits the sunset flip back into the ring for two, but gets back suplexed for his efforts.  Jensen goes to attack, as I continue to ponder why it took four shoulder tackles to take down a guy who’s never seen chest day at the gym. Vertical suplex gets reversed into a roll-up by Tate for two.  Another back suplex by Jensen, and we visit resthold city.  Peter Rosenberg claims Jensen reminds him of Barry Windham, and just no, dude.  I’m longing for Kendall Windham right now.  Tate hits the Temu cowboy comeback, and hits HIS OWN BACK SUPLEX.  NO WAY.  Tate goes for a beautiful moonsault, makes the adjustment, but gets hit with two lariats by Jensen for the win, because of course.

WINNER: Brooks Jensen

Match Rating: C- To paraphrase the late Roger Ebert, I hated, hated, hated, hated this match, mostly because it feels like a given at this point that everyone with lesser experience must job, even if it’s to a wrestler halfway out the door.  Put your young talent over.

Jensen C- This guy’s been on the roster for several years now, and all I saw was a couple of back suplexes and a decent lariat.  Be gone.

Tate C – The aerial stuff was pretty decent, but it’s nerd city once the cowboy hat comes off.  There’s work to be done there, and I’m not sure I’m supposed to buy him as a threat to the larger Ridge Holland when he can’t even take care of this ham-and-egger.

After the match, known homeless man Jordan Oasis attacks Brooks Jensen.  Yay.

Wendy Choo sits backstage watching her victory over Carlee Bright last week on the monitor and laughs.  Cappuccino Jones and Jack Cartwheel are working out backstage when they run into……Jax Presley and Harley Riggins, who are acting like a couple of gym lunks.  Actually, correction, that’s “Space Cowboy” Jax Presley and “Gnarly” Harley Riggins. Let’s see what those two have got, other than terrible names.

Backstage, we see more dissension in the ranks of the Vanity Project, as Bryce Donovan gets made to apologize to Jackson Drake for not taking out Keanu Carver last week.  Bryce surprises them all by informing them that Zayda Steel will be facing Layla Diggs tonight, causing Zayda much more angina than you’d think when the opposition is Layla F’ing Diggs.  Swipe Right will also have an ID Showcase match against two unnamed opponents next week.  Back to the ring we go.

DANTE CHEN VS. EDRIS ENOFE

Edris enters the ring and removes the turnbuckle during his entrance, and I agree with Peter in that neither of us have seen that before.  The match starts, and they immediately go for the turnbuckle fake-out spots.  Referee Baldie finally notices the turnbuckle is gone, as Peter claims that could be a disqualification.  Ok then, Peter.  During all this, Dante hits an offensive flurry before finally getting sent into THAT turnbuckle.  Edris charges in, though, and HE winds up hitting the turnbuckle.  The turnbuckle is the most over entity in this match thus far.  Back in the ring, Dante hits an impressive vertical suplex, plus an additional whatchamacallit, for two.  Edris hits the chop block to escape a powerbomb attempt, and they fight on the apron.  Edris trips Dante, with his head hitting what I’m told is the hardest part of the ring.  Dante hits the post and gets taken back in for a flying elbow by Edris for two, while Stone namedrops every wrestler in existence.  At some point, Edris was compared to both The Rock and Chris Masters.  Edris hits several knees before going to the top.  Dante stops him and hits the superplex off the top.  Dante drapes an arm over and gets 2 ½. Both begin exchanging blows in the middle of the ring.  Dante with an impressive sort-of spinning powerbomb but misses the big kick.  Edris goes for the roll-up with the tights, but the referee notices.  Another roll-up gets two before Dante finally hits the Gentle Touch for three.

WINNER: Dante Chen

Match Rating: B- Both guys worked hard here.  This is how you get noticed and begin to move back up the card.

Dante: B+ Dante showed us there’s a real wrestler there underneath all the goofiness.  His high-impact stuff was impressive, and there’s still something there as an underdog character.

Edris: B – Always solid, crisp, and athletic in the ring.  There’s something missing charisma-wise, despite his colorful appearance, as a singles wrestler, but I still believe he can move back up if paired with someone who complements him well.  He probably would have gotten further with his previous partner had he not gotten injured.

Tate Wilder gets confronted by Ridge Holland for going 0-2 in his past two matches.  Tate doesn’t see them as losses, but lessons.  Tate challenges Holland, but Holland’s got Sean Legacy in the ring next week.  Ridge tells Wilder to talk to Legacy after he’s done with him next week.  OK, there’s some long-term character development.  Please get Tate a new haircut.

Stevie is backstage with Kylie Rae, who does not have her ID Title with her.  Kylie wants a match with Chantel Monroe next week, which Stevie agrees to and makes it a title eliminator match.  Jordan Oasis comes in, and Stevie reads him the riot act as to interfering in matches.  Stevie asks him to take a week off while she figures what to do next.

LAYLA DIGGS (WITH MASYN HOLIDAY) VERSUS ZAYDA STEEL (WITH BRYCE DONOVAN)

Layla and Masyn do choreographed dance moves as Robert Stone claims they remind him of TLC.  Stone is absolutely unbearable tonight.  Donovan being out there with Zayda probably hints at where this will go.  Donovan attempts to trip Layla as she gets close to the ropes, caught by the referee.  Zayda actually isn’t tripping over herself out there yet.  A cartwheel by Layla leads to Natural Selection for two.  Donovan distracts so that Zayda can take advantage.  Zayda goes after the leg in the corner and goes for the half-Boston Crab.  Layla gets out and hits a few shoulderblocks, followed by that beautiful scissors kick of hers.  Butterly suplex gets two for Layla.  Bryce places a chair in the corner and distrtacts the ref again.  The ref has finally had enough and send Donovan to the back.  Masyn Holiday, Layla’s second, has done absolutely nothing this match.  Layla hits the Diggety Splits (basically a gourdbuster) for three.

WINNER: Layla Diggs

Rating: C- Ugh.  This is not a good week so far.  Layla has the athleticism, and that’s about it for this match.

Layla C – She’s got her moments, but it’s been a while, and she’s not getting past this level.

Zayda C- It seemed like she had a good run to start to match, but she honestly moves around in the ring like she’s half drunk.

Jamar Hampton, hopefully with his shoes tied, confronts It’s Gal backstage and asks why he’s been watching his matches.  Gal claims it wasn’t him, which is kinda funny, actually.  Gal believes it was either AI, CGI, or another I.  Somehow, these guys who are supposed to be feuding agree to hit the gym together for chest day.  I hope they invite Brooks Jensen along.

Chuey is backstage with Sean Legacy and another of his patterned shirts.  Chuey asks Sean where his head is at after the loss to Keanu Carver.  Sean is disappointed that he couldn’t avenge the attack on Timothy Thatcher, but that losses are learning opportunities and he will be ready once the Keanu/Jackson Drake match happens.  Chuey brings up Ice Williams having unsavory things about Legacy at a recent House of Champions show.  A clip is shown of Ice Williams in the ring taking issue with Sean Legacy being considered the #1 WWE ID prospect.  Ice feels it should be him, which is interesting since he’s barely wrestled on TV and has been a babyface every time we’ve seen him.  Legacy has his eyes on Ridge Holland next week, though, and believes a victory against Ridge will put him back in the title picture.  Legacy and Chuey probably accidentally make some gang symbol which will lead to them getting their ass kicked in the wrong part of Orlando.

Time for our main event!

KARMEN PETROVIC VS. TYRA MAE STEELE (EVOLVE WOMEN’S TITLE ELIMINATOR MATCH)

Tyra’s energy is always great as she hits the ring and, hopefully, not having Karem involved in silly backstage romance angles will lead to better things here.  Tyra wastes no time by throwing the ever-living crap out of Karmen with a German suplex as we immediately cut to break. Unfortunately, my feed buffers when we return from break, and I sit here contemplating five albums which had a massive impact on me on Instagram while I went.  I went with:

The Cure “Disintegration”
Tori Amos “Little Earthquakes”
Pink Floyd “Dark Side of the Moon”
John Coltrane “A Love Supreme”
Queensryche “Operation: Mindcrime”

I’m going to have to restart this app, aren’t I? I restart, and we are BACK.  Tyra hits a big slam on Karmen, followed by a vertical suplex.  All I’ve seen thus far is selling from Karmen.  My app craps out again, then returns back to the show ending right in the middle of the match.  This repeats itself when I try to watch the show from the laptop, which means we actually can’t finish reviewing this show this week.

WINNER: I have no clue.  Ask Leighty.

OVERALL RATING: C- Not a great effort this week, as technical issues cut what was probably the best match right in the middle, and the rest of the show being dominated by bottom-rung talent, with really only one young wrestler getting featured.  Edris and Dante tried hard, though, so we’ll give this episode credit for that.  We’ll try this again next week.

See you on Sunday for LFG.