WWE Evolve Review 09.17.25

Alright, folks. No time to waste here. I’m a day late with this and, to be honest, I already read Leighty’s review. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what happened here and give you my best effort at an Evolve review. Why? Because I love you people, this world is going to shit, and I know good things happen here. Mostly, though, the world is going to shit.

THEN. NOW. JIMMY KIMMEL. FOREVER. TOGETHER.

LAST WEEK, we had a triple threat for the Men’s Evolve Championship, with Jackson Drake prevailing over both Brooks Jensen and Keanu Carver. This week, though, our goddess, Kendal Grey, gets the opportunity to shut Wendy Choo the hell up forever. I’ve got a good feeling about that one. Don’t ask me how I know. Well, you know how I know.

Here’s your Men’s Evolve Champion, with the rest of the Vanity Project, to start. Drake brings up how people pray for their downfall, but they’ve never been as locked in as they are now. Ricky Smokes has them all throw up the deuces. Drake reveals speaking to Stevie Turner earlier, and he’s arranged for an eight-person tag match against some “dusty ass” opponents. Here are those dusty-ass opponents.

DANTE CHEN, DRACO KNOX, TYRA MAE STEELE, AND SEAN LEGACY VS. VANITY PROJECT (SWIPE RIGHT, BRYCE DONOVAN, AND ZAYDA STEEL)

That damn WWE, counter-programming AEW with a nonsensical multi-person tag match. PARTY MATCH! And welcome back, poor Tyra Mae Steele. Steele stars out against Steele, and I’m not sure which lady I feel worse for right now. Zayda slaps Tyra, and gets thrown halfway across the ring for her efforts. Ricky Smokes comes in, and man/woman action is teased before Draco Knox tags in. Draco with a couple of takedowns and a shoulderblock for his efforts. Smokes escapes a slam, misses a dropkick, and gets a tilt-a-whirled for two. Draco tags in Legacy, who must have lost a bet to wind up here, and some double-teaming gets a two. Brad Baylor gets met with a couple of dropkicks from Sean, and a standing moonsault gets two. King Dorkus Dante Chen comes in, and I imagine a mirror image of this was airing on Dynamite at this time last night. Dante Chen or Speedball Bailey? Who you got? Dante with a couple of inverted atomic drops on Baylor before tagging in Draco Knox for more man-on-nut action. Smokes distracts the ref, and Baylor finally can rest his testicles and go on the attack before tagging in Bryce Donovan. We return from break to a seemingly still fertile Brad Baylor beating up on Knox before tagging in Bryce Donovan. Again. Bryce takes control over Knox, not doing anything of note, before Brad Baylor and his magic balls tag in. Draco makes his escape, though, and Legacy comes in for the lukewarm hot tag. VP quickly take over on him, though, and Donovan goes back on the attack. Smokes gets tagged in, and I’ve definitely been to better parties in my time. Maybe don’t show wrestling matches during parties, but I’m not Canadian. VP continues to double-team Sean Legacy, and this just seems like it lasts forever. Zzzz. Zzzz. Oh yay, hot tag to Dante Chen, who goes wild on both of Swipe Right and Bryce Donovan. Zayda breaks up a two-count, only to get thrown around by Tyra Mae. Tyra Mae German suplexes both of Swipe Right. Bryce teases going after Tyra, but gets taken out by Draco Knox. Double chop from Dante Chen finishes Bryce Donovan. This party sucks.

WINNERS: The Dusty Asses

Match Rating: C- What a gigantic waste of time this was.

The Dusty-Asses: C- Chen is a goofball jobber. Knox is an indyriffic flip machine. Tyra and Super Sean deserved so, so much better.

Vanity Project: B+ Never anything wrong with their work, but this was an absolute snoozefest, which I’m sure exists to further establish dissention between them. I don’t really want to watch the dissention between them.

While The Dusty Asses celebrate in the ring, Drake gives Bryce Donovan an earful. If we’re wanting to break off Bryce from the VP, having him job to a chop from Dante F’ing Chen isn’t how you build excitement for that.

Chuey Martinez is backstage with Marcus Mathers and Aaron Rourke, who will be taking on It’s Gal and Jamar Hampton next. Rourke, fabulous as always, points out the three out of ten Mathers was given by It’s Gal last week, only to be countered by the 2.5 out of five he actually received. Riveting.

Our goddess and her tan lines are backstage with Carlee Bright. Kendal’s going to make Wendy utter words for the first time tonight. Tan lines: A+

Earlier today, Sean Legacy approaches Tate Wilder and asks if he’s ok. Tate can’t figure things in his career out right now. Legacy offers some strong words of encouragement, which would hit a lot better if I hadn’t just watched that eight-person tag.

MARCUS MATHERS/AARON ROURKE VS. IT’S GAL/JAMAR HAMPTON

Wrestling needs a babyface like Aaron Rourke right now. Jamar and Gal do have a bit of a hilarious new entrance, but this is all very much bottom-floor stuff here. Rourke and Gal start off. The tights here read “Mint Condition” and “Dime Piece” for each guy. It’s Gal gets some push-ups here while getting Rourke down in a legscissors. A slap by Gal is countered by a slap by Rourke, who hit a codebreaker and sends Gal into the corner. Mathers comes in and we go double-teaming. A pretty back kick by Mathers gets two. Gal counters with a slam and tags in Hampton. Mathers escapes a slam and hits some strikes before tagging Rourke back in. Rourke escapes a slam and hits a side headlock. Some heel distraction leads to a downright Brunzell-ish dropkick from Hampton. Athleticism is not this kid’s issue. Nice double suplex from the heels, and they’re both doing push-ups now. Double elbow gets a two count. Gal’s looking probably the best he’s ever looked here. Rourke attempts to fight out of the corner, and meets an uppercut from Gal. Hampton tags in for more double-teaming, and here’s a big throw across the ring. He attempts this again, but he throws Rourke right into elbowing Gal in the corner. Rourke can’t make the tag, though, and Gal comes in. Rourke hits a big kick, and here’s Marcus Mathers. A whole lot of kicks and a cutter from Mathers, but Gal is able to tag Hampton. Crossbody gets two on Hampton, but that gets broken up by Gal. Rourke takes him out, and Marcus hits the big tope to the outside. Hampton is thrown back in the ring. Rourke is set to hit something off the top, but gets distracted by Gal taking Mathers out. The Dummy Drop (basically the Harris Brothers’ old H-bomb) finishes for the heels.

WINNERS: IT’S GAL AND JAMAR HAMPTON

Match Rating: B- Indy-style fun that hit the right spot after that opener.

Gal/Hampton: B I absolutely see potential here as a team. Both guys were having fun. Gal looked especially sharp, and Hampton is starting to at least figure out that personality if a concept.

Mathers/Rourke: B Mathers always looks sharp in there, and there’s just something infectious about Rourke. Again, it was clear they were having fun.

Your heels pose over Aaron Rourke after the match. The announcers try to push that Rourke tweaked his knee to give him an out after that loss. Gal gives Jamar a pair of matching sunglasses.

Chuey is backstage with Kali Armstrong. Chuey wonders whether Kali’s next challenger for the Evolve Women’s Title will come from this I Quit match. Kali wonders how Kendal will make Wendy quit if Wendy doesn’t talk. Wendy Choo enters the frame and laughs.

YOUR MAIN EVENT IS NEXT AFTER THIS BREAK! BOAR’S HEAD MEATS! CASCADE DISHWASHING PODS! AMAZON IS GOOD FOR SMALL BUSINESS! NO, REALLY!

We return to a SportsCenter-type commercial featuring Sean Legacy which, while funny, is kind of random.

The Vanity Project lick their wounds backstage. Jackson Drake is pissed. Zayda Steel is afraid of being roasted on Instagram. Bryce Donovan speaks up and mentions the group never minds when he helps them win their matches. Donovan gets face to face with Drake and alludes to coming after his title. My man, you couldn’t even beat Dante Chen tonight.

TIME FOR OUR MAIN EVENT!

OUR GODDESS, KENDAL GREY VS. WENDY CHOO (I QUIT MATCH)

Kendal has made the proper adjustment to her top, as this is not the kind of attention to detail you’d ever get from Tommy Hall, mostly because it’s about Kendal’s boobs. Big match intros from Blake Howard get interrupted by Kendal going on the attack. Bigtime brawling to start, as both trade shots. Kendal sends Wendy into the turnbuckle. Wendy misses a charge into the corner, and Kendal goes for a rope-assisted armlock. Wendy rakes the eyes, though, and sends Kendal over the top rope to the outside. Wendy wastes time laughing and being spooky, which gives Kendal enough time to trap Wendy between the apron and the drape. Another armlock by Kendal in that position. Wendy disappears under the ring, which leads to Kendal looking like a giant goof. Wendy emerges, grabs Kendal by the neck, and drags her under the ring for a second. Chairshot to the gut by Wendy, and Kendal gets sent into the ringpost on the outside. Wendy tries to break Kendal in half against the ringpost, then brings the chair into the ring. The chair is set up in the corner. Kendal fights back, but meets a knee to the gut. Kendal gets set up in the tree of woe over the chair, but Wendy misses the charge. Kendal escapes but gets caught by Wendy again as we go to break. We return to Wendy still on the attack. Kendal gets sent outside, but she now hides under the ring. This kind of stuff only works on this show, I swear. Wendy goes looking, but Kendal reappears in the ring and goes on the attack. Big German suplex from Kendal, and Wendy is finally sent into that chair that had been set up earlier. Kendal hits some decent chairshots to the back and locks on the Armbar. Wendy hits the ropes, though. Brainbuster by Choo, and she grabs the chair again and shoves it into Kendal’s face. Kendal’s selling here is solid as she attempts to fight back. Kendal finally pushes the chair again, and evades a couple of charge attempts into an ankle lock. Wendy attempts to reach for the chair, but can’t, eventually sending Kendal into the ringpost. Chairshot by Wendy, who then wraps the chair around Kendal’s neck. Kendal’s sent into the corner with the chair around her neck, and the Dirt Nap is locked in. Isn’t the ref supposed to have a mic during these things? Kendal fights out, and here’s another armbar! She cinches it in, but Wendy rolls them both outside. No one goes under the ring this time. Wendy sends Kendal into the steps. Back in the ring, Wendy has the chair again. Suplex onto the chair is countered into a DDTon the chair. Kendal hits the arm from the top onto the chair! Armbar is hooked in again! Wendy has nowhere to go! Kendal cinches it in more! Wendy quits!

WINNER: Kendal Grey

Match Rating: B+ The under-the-ring hijinks were silly, but both ladies did what they set out to do otherwise.

Kendal: A- Another great performance here. She looks tough. Her selling is good. It’s all believable as hell. We’re watching a star in the making.

Choo: B+ Always dependable. Always makes her opponent look good. Thank you for your service here, Miss Choo.

Wendy speaks again, wondering what is left for her as the show ends. I guess she joins the Don Callis family next week.

OVERALL RATING: B The main event made this show this week. The opener showed why these random multi-person tags are such a niche thing that really doesn’t work at all when you’re trying to tell stories. The performances were good, though, and new stuff is happening all over the place.

See y’all Sunday.