WWE LFG Review 08.17.25

Happy Monday morning, everyone, where the wonderful quirks of being self-employed allow me to get up early and watch a reality TV show about pro wrestling, about a quarter-transcribe it, and give my thoughts on it for you all, or at least those of you who can find it underneath stuff like “The SMARK Rant on The Snorks, Season 2.” Do you remember the Snorks? I do. They tried to fool us by giving them a similar name to the Smurfs, but did it work? No, it didn’t, much like BJ Ray’s wrestling career thus far. Now that we’re back on topic, let’s get to the show.

SEASON TWO, EPISODE EIGHT: TOP DOG (My gawd, maybe the special guest will be Al Greene.)

TONIGHT, Zena Sterling battles Sirena Linton in a battle of, probably, the best two long-term futures here, Harlem Lewis takes on BJ Ray, the hoss women battle each other as Bayley Humphrey takes on P. Nasty, and, in our main event, probably the two most polished men face off as Anthony Luke takes on Shiloh Hill. That may be better than most Evolve lineups. Looking forward to this.

At the PC, we return to last week’s closing events, when Bubba Ray walked off and declared a deep state conspiracy against Zena Sterling, which I’m sure is great for this young wrestler’s confidence and understanding of her fit in this business. Bubba tells us the problem is that greatness is expected from Zena every week. The Undertakers team up and say that it’s actually Panina who is the frontrunner. Well, I’m not so sure about that.

Sirena is in medical to start the show after getting knocked out last week. Sirena agrees with Perfecto that Bayley actually choked her unconscious while in press slam position, but she’s been cleared this week as everything gets resolved between episodes on here.

Shawn Michaels meets with everyone and discusses injuries. Sadly, Elijah Holyfield has been injured, and we’re not sure when he’s coming back. That really sucks, but Bubba naturally responds by telling us ALL THE WEIGHT is on Zena now. Zena, here’s my business card if you need a therapist. Shawn wants to know who the two top dogs are here tonight and asks the trainers to each name their top individuals. Booker picks Harlem and Sirena. Bubba picks Zena and, by default, BJ. Even BJ laughs at this. Michelle picks Panina and Anthony. By process of elimination, this means Taker picks Shiloh and Bayley.

Booker and Bubba are talking, and Booker expresses his inner feelings by telling us he’s frustrated with Harlem’s cockiness. Right when you think Booker’s finally shed a few toxic layers, he tells us he’s the general on this team, and Harlem’s just a private. Speaking of privates, I’m surprised Booker doesn’t pull out a ruler at this point and try to measure. Bubba, in turn, believes the problem is ACTUALLY Zena may be resting on her lau……no, wait, the problem is just that Zena is too damn good. Bubba challenges Zena to step up her game. Meanwhile, Sirena cuts an amazing promo before her match. See, I think the problem may be that Sirena’s just the better prospect.

SIRENA LINTON VS. ZENA STERLING

Sirena with the go behind, but gets taken down by Zena and into an armbar, praised by both Booker and Bubba. The Takers both stay quiet because they’re planning on just gushing over Panina later. See, now I’m in on the conspiracy. Zena with some seriously nice mat work here, and the crowd begins to get behind her, right on cue. Sirena finally pulls the hair to break and hits a DDT for two. Bubba notes that the trainees aren’t using their legs to kick out, just the shoulders. Roll-up by Zena for two, as Sirena hits the chinlock and is matching Zena performance-wise here thus far. Zena gets the comeback with puches, a clothesline, but meets an elbow in the corner. Sirena misses flippy shit off the top, and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for the three.

WINNER: Zena Sterling

MATCH RATING: B Honestly a bit too short and basic to give much of a rating to, as I do think these two are capable of far more if given the time. What was there was done with a lot of poise, though.

Zena: A- The in-between stuff is coming together, but this format is doing her no favors. She needs reps, at this point, with more experienced workers. We still also need to figure out what her gimmick is other than “I wear a nightie.”

Sirena: A- The same can be said here, although Sirena knows who she is a bit more. Sirena is an incredibly solid prospect who I think we’ll be seeing a lot of moving forward in this business.

Bubba discusses Zena selling the shoulder too much, which I don’t really get. Zena, backstage, hopes she did Bubba proud, but admits she’s feeling a bit more pressure. Win or lose, she needs the next level and STAT.

Harlem admits to some difficulty communicating during match prep while BJ works on his cat/cows. I blank out on what BJ has to say because it’s same crap every time.

HARLEM LEWIS VS. BJ RAY

Hard collar-and-elbow tie-up with trash talk from Harlem. BJ works the side headlock. Harlem with the body shots in the ropes, and a big slam off the ropes. When we return from break, BJ has Harlem in a chinlock, as Booker notes both reversed face/heel dynamics at the start of the match. This immedicately changes, as Harlem begins to beat the ever-living crap out of BJ. Harlem slams BJ again on the floor. BJ re-enters the ring at seven, after asking the announcers what they’re feeding Harlem. Again, that’s a heel line, BJ. BK works out of a chinlock, and we hit an incredibly awful comeback sequence from BJ. Just zero behind any of his stuff, and the coaches agree with me. Harlem tries to lift him up for the jackhammer, but BJ counters into a small package for the three.

WINNER: BJ Ray

MATCH RATING: B- Obviously bad comeback sequence aside, the work here was fine from both guys, but even Helen Keller could tell you what the issue is here.

Harlem: A- Again, why is this guy here, and not NXT, unless this is just an attempt to get the fans to know the guy a bit better?

BJ: C- Technically, he’s not the worst, but you know the drill, at this point. He’s far more concerned with entertaining than making things look good and realistic. This guy’s a manager, not a wrestler, if he continues in this business. That’s his best fit.

BJ tells us he can do whatever he wants because the crowd is behind him. Harlem admits he’s not on the same page and his coach, and agrees it’s time to sort it out. Meanwhile, Taker and Michele make this all about their marriage when discussing their matches. This just in: I don’t care about your marriage dynamics. Meanwhile, a Samoan Dusty Rhodes, apparently Panina’s dad, enters the frame. Of note is that Panina’s dad is wearing a t-shirt with a fake collarbone tattoo reading “Only God Can Judge Me,” with a fake cross necklace, on it. You were going to be on TV, sir. Get this man some polka dots, please.

P. NASTY VS. BAYLEY HUMPHREY

Of course, the Undertakers sit in the Blake Monroe position at the PC, as I ponder how much better this would be if we replaced them both with the Miz and Maryse next season, who actually don’t have their head in each other’s ass at all times. Kinky. Then again, maybe not. Also, ew. Note to Bayley: Don’t grab the neck this time. HOSS collar-and-elbow to start, with no quarter given. They trade shoves, and Panina runs right into two body slams from Bayley. Bayley misses the charge into the corner, and gets shoved into the top rope, then out of the ring. No gusto on any of it, though. This improves on the outside when Panina rams her into the barrier, then the apron, with authority. Back in the ring, nice uppercuts from Panina, and she then takes out the leg. Bayley fights out of a chin lock with a hip toss, but meets a spear from Panina. Bayley gets her foot under the ropes to break the pin attempt and as I ponder how Panina will get 800 points from her team for this, since this is actually a reality show about marriage. Samoan drop gets two, but Panina gets powerbombed out the corner for the three count.

WINNER: Bayley Humphrey

MATCH RATING: A- Two meaty women beating their meat, as their kids say, and it 99.9% worked.

Bayley: A- Nice rebound performance from Bayley this week, using her size and power well, and everything looked like it hurt.

Panina: A- Copy/paste from above, although P. Nasty still needs to show us a bit more of her nasty consistently. Consider this an A–.

Backstage, Shiloh tells us he got kicked in the face as a live event and has a bit of a shiner. Oh, it’s more than a bit of a shiner. Those things suck. Thankfully, it’s been thirty years or so. I’ll tell you all that story another time.

ANTHONY LUKE VS. SHILOH HILL

We should expect very good things, right? I mean, these are the two most big league-ready dudes here. Shiloh should be a mid-upper card player in NX……SNEAK ATTACK BY ANTHONY LUKE to start. He didn’t even let me finish my sentence. Punches in the corner by Anthony quickly get reversed into Shiloh going on attack. BIIIIIIIIG back bodydrop by Shiloh, and some great heigh by Luke. Some nice back and forth here ends in a belly-to-back suplex by Shiloh. Luke is up first, though. Punches back and forth just make Shiloh get more mad. Two clotheslines and a neckbreaker from Shiloh lead to a spinning senton for two. Luke, though, GOES FOR THE SHINER, and that enables him to hit the spinning urinage for three.

WINNER: Anthony Luke

MATCH RATING: A- A perfectly good sprint, but still too short to get the full rating.

Shiloh: A This dude does nothing but present himself as a complete package every week. Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was trying to explain to y’all that he could be a mid/upper card player in NXT right now. Of course, I couldn’t finish that sentence because of…..

Anthony: A Another technically solid performance here, as the heel work is getting better and better, and really beginning to define his character more. I’m not sure he’s ready to be singles guys character-wise yet, but lose the dead weight in Darkstate, make them a trio with him, Sugars, and Lennox, and we may have something a hell of a lot better than Buttman on Tuesdays.

So I’ll go with Anthony and either Bayley/Panina this week which, of course, means Panina, since god forbid the happy couple disagree on anything. Everyone but Booker, who gives his point to Sirena, gives their point to Panina, of course. Booker takes Harlem to task, but Harlem says he’s no CAW. Shiloh gets the unanimous vote here for the win, as the Takers sweep the points. Anthony Luke cuts a hell of a promo as to this being his show, and Panina shows where she still needs to grow with her promo.

After all this, Harlem asks to speak to Booker off-camera. Harlem doesn’t say why but tells us he’s had a history of anger issues, and knows what’s best for him is to talk it out before he internalizes things. That’s actually healthy which, naturally, leads to Booker calling him an alpha. They still hug it out, though.

NEXT WEEK, Drake, Dani, and Trill get their turn at bat, and something goes awry with Trill and BJ backstage. Maybe.

OVERALL RATING: B+ The in-ring was going to be better, since the better in-ring talents, at this point in time, were featured this week. This was a bit too much about the stunted children we call trainers on this show, though.

See you all on Wednesday for Evolve. It’s time to get semi-professionally dressed.