WWE LFG Review 09.07.25

Happy Wrensday! I did not intend on making a habit of reviewing both the C-shows on the same day, but here we are doing it two weeks in a row. I have no excuse this week. I got lazy on Sunday, and then life happened. I have no idea what the mood of this is going to be, since I just had to deal with leaving my phone at the gym (thankfully recovered.). Perhaps it’ll be jovial. Perhaps Booker T is going to get these hands. Let’s see.

SEASON TWO, EPISODE 11: LAST CHANCE TO IMPRESS

THIS WEEK ON LFG, the lesser-featured talents get their last chance to avoid being first on the cut line. Bayley Humphrey will take on Summer Sorrell (could be good), Tatyanna Dumas will take on Haze Jameson (with Haze already throwing shade at probably having to lead this match – the bowling shoes are getting shined as we speak), and, in the main event, Chris Island will take on Trill London (oh, THAT’S interesting.)

Trill London is not looking at the road while driving and talking, at the same time, on the way to the PC. At least he’s sober, right, Uce?

Uncle Shawn, in a lime green shirt only found in the boomer section of JC Penney, lets the talent know that cuts begin next week, and it’s time to prove yourselves. Haze throws a couple of adorable f-bombs in response. Chris Island realizes his back is against the wall. Bayley is not going out in the first round this time around. Anthony Luke and Maxxine Dupri show off their new crib to us, and it’s a relatively nice build-a-condo. Nice double oven, I must say. As we’re now on WWE Cribs, Zena’s living room kind of looks like mine, since everyone lives in nameless units now.

Undertaker gives Bayley a pep talk before her match, and she’s right: there’s no monster like her anywhere in the WWE. Michelle reminds Summer that being the underdog is not a bad thing, and WHAT THE HELL IS MCCOOL WEARING IN THE POST-INTERVIEW. In case that wasn’t ridiculous enough, Taker tells Bayley she has to win because he can’t lose to his wife. Million-dollar gimmick, smallest testicles ever. I give you Mark Callaway.

BAYLEY HUMPHREY VS SUMMER SORRELL (WHO SLEEPS ON THE COUCH AT THE CALLAWAY COMPOUND MATCH)

They both do their standard entrances. Summer immediately tries to use her speed to avoid Bayley, but gets caught quickly and taken down. Bayley with the big flex, but Summer slaps the ever-loving shit out of her. This does not go well, and Summer has to escape the ring and call a time-out. Summer’s attempt to lure Bayley back into the ring doesn’t go well, and she meets two big slams and a massive forearm that you could audibly hear pop. Summer avoids another power move and hits the big choke. Bayley backs her into the corner, but misses the charge. Summer takes her down by the hair for two, and again, Summer is punching way above her weight here. Bayley gets Summer up for the press slam, but Summer escapes, only to hit a big boot from Bayley. Last Ride-reminiscent powerbomb gets the win for Bayley.

WINNER: BAYLEY HUMPHREY

Match Rating: B Both played their parts almost to a T. Little to complain about here.

Bayley: B The monster mannerisms were cool, but she’s still lacking that gear she needs to truly be believable at her size. I think she’ll get it at the next level, but it’s not there now.

Summer: A I continue to be a huge believer. I realize the opportunities aren’t there because she’s green, but she made the most out of what she was given here and played the perfect foil. Summer’s going to shine next season, or on whatever show she winds up on after this.

Bayley feels like she’s finally starting to grow into the monster she was meant to be, while Tatyanna and Haze take a Moen shower. Wait, that’s just an ad. Whew. Coming back from break, Booker compares Tatyanna to the tortoise and the hare. In this example, I feel like Tats would be the snail. Haze tells Bubba her biggest concern is Tatyanna being safe in the ring, with footage from week one in which Tats dropped Haze on her head being shown. Again, Haze is concerned about having to lead the match. Let’s not bite off more than we can chew here, Haze. Tats talks a bunch of bullshit.

TATYANNA DUMAS VS. HAZE JAMESON

My girl Haze better show up here, and she does via sneaking up from behind on Tatyanna and going on the attack! Bubba makes all sorts of weird faces as we go to break. Haze is on the attack when we return, with Bubba yelling at her to lay her shit in. She follows with a great elbow and hip toss. Tats gets a clothesline to the back of the head for a two count. Haze fight out of the ropes with another big elbow for two. Haze hits the chinlock, and Taker throws some compliments her way. That’s just because she’s not on his wife’s team, and alpha men don’t do dishes, or something. Tatyanna reverses a whip into the corner, but is slow to get up and looks gassed. This woman. Tatyanna then misses trying to catch Haze for….something, but gets on the turnbuckle and throws what only seems like eight punches. Slam gets two for Tatyanna, who is beyond gassed getting up. Haze takes advantage and gets the assisted roll-up for three.

WINNER: HAZE JAMESON

Match Rating: C- You know the story by now.

Tatyanna: F We wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Haze: A- After a bit of a weak start, Haze came to play here. Her stuff looked good. She didn’t allow herself to get fazed when Tatyanna started to falter. There was a lot of poise here, which is really a nice counter to the party girl character she portrays. There’s a lot of Alexa Bliss here as far as the combination of small stature and tenacity goes. Great job.

Haze talks about tapping into a different part of her personality in her post-promo. Trill and Michelle speak backstage, and some shade at Booker T is thrown for the excessive Jeff Hardy comparisons. Michelle wants to see more Trill tonight. Booker refers to Trill as the flavor of the month, and tells Chris to knock him into the dirt every time he tries to flip and jump. Chris Island refers to Booker as a father figure, and we know how father figures in wrestling go. Chris and Trill pump each other up before the match, which I’m fine with.

CHRIS ISLAND VS. TRILL LONDON

I do like how they do the “main event” in front of a full PC crowd, with coaches in the balcony, etc. It’s good for everyone involved, including the paying fans. Island comes out in his kickboxing gear, which works so much better for him than whatever the “promised child” was. What was he promised? Does his dad Booker T have a Switch 2 on layaway? Trill’s entrance….looks a lot like Jeff Hardy’s. So much for that. Chris immediately goes on the attack, pushing Trill into the corner and then sending him out of the ring. Chris tries to send Trill into the steps, with Trill skipping the steps, jumping onto the barrier, and hitting the bodypress. Nicely done. Some beautiful aerial stuff from both guys leads to a dropkick from Trill for two. Trill slows it down with a headlock, but Island grabs the dreads and takes him down. Chris tightens the gloves and gets some strikes in the corner. I love the makeover for Island here. Island has Trill in the corner. Trill attempts to fight out with some strikes, but Chris hits a nice back suplex for two. Island tries to bend Trill in half for the submission, then hits a nice vertical suplex for two. I don’t know who deserves the point more here, to be honest. Backbreaker from Island, who then tries to lock in the Boston Crab. Trill fights out, and is this the comeback? Yes it is. Big forearm and flying takedown (almost missed) by Trill. Swanton attempt by Trill hits the knees, and Island kinda sorta botches a roll-up, eventually getting an assisted one, for three.

WINNER: Chris Island

Match Rating: B+ Each guy had a minor flub, but otherwise, both these dudes. They came to play tonight.

Island: A- Now this is an actual character who can get over. I liked everything about his presentation and work tonight. Don’t know what was up with that roll-up, but oh well.

Trill: A- Same goes here. There’s some work to be done in order to distinguish himself from that other dreadlocked undersized high flyer on the roster, but the work is absolutely getting him to the next level. Nice job.

Chris continues to show the harder edge backstage.

It’s time to give out points, and I’m going Island and Haze here, but it’s totally going to be Bayley, isn’t it? Taker gives Bayley his vote, because of course. Bubba gives Haze his vote. Booker T…..gives Tatyanna his vote as we go to break on the world’s shittiest cliffhanger. We return, and Michelle goes Haze! Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s my woman.

As the men go, Bubba goes Trill, as does Taker. Michelle goes Trill as well, and Booker…..calls this a bunch of bullshit. Taker confirms that Booker’s vote was, in fact, for bullshit. Get Booker T off my television, please.

OUR TEAM RANKINGS:

TEAM McCOOL: 8
TEAM TOTALLY CLEANING THE TOILETS TONIGHT: 5
TEAM BUBBA: 4
TEAM BOOKER: 3

OUR TALENT RANKINGS:

MEN:

SHILOH/ANTHONY/TRILL/ELIJAH: 2
HARLEM/DRAKE: 1
BJ: -348

WOMEN:
PENINA: 4
SIRENA/DANI: 2
ZENA/HAZE: 1
TATYANNA: A date with Ava and, apparently, Booker T

On the way out, Chris Island is upset at losing out to “bullshit,” and is about to let the danger out on everyone.

NEXT TIME ON LFG, the playoffs begin, and it looks like Tatyanna and BJ will get thrown to the lions early.

OVERALL RATING: A really good show tonight, as we got equal parts great work and developmental wonkiness. Not even the coaches could take away much from this tonight. And Haze won. 

See y’all later for Evolve.