The SmarK Rant for WWF/SWS WrestleFest – 03.30.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF/SWS WrestleFest 91 – 03.30.91

So this one came about because I did a watchalong with Ryan Grey of the North South podcast, specifically of the main event of the show. Which you can watch here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqLRcvJmAU4&t=1853s

And I thought, well hell, this is a unique deal and I’m back in 1991 for Superstars anyway, so let’s track down the full show and give it a look. I don’t believe it’s been archived or used by WWE anywhere outside of a couple of matches, but it’s a joint show between the WWF and the SWS promotion in Japan. Apparently aired on some kind Japanese version of HBO according to what Meltzer said about it in the Observer at the time.

Taped from the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo Japan, complete with the 1991 Ultimate Warrior laser eye opening. Attendance was about 25,000 paid and 45,000 in the building, but they announced over 65,000 because it’s the WWF.

The commentary is in Japanese so I won’t even take a shot at the announcing, aside from Akio Sato.

The Rockers v. The Hart Foundation

The Harts were of course fresh off losing the tag titles to the Nasty Boys. Bret and Marty trade takedowns to start and the Rockers hit the quick double-team, but Anvil lays them both out with a clothesline and it’s a stalemate. Anvil slams Shawn and he reverses into a cradle for two off that and rolls him up for two. Marty goes to a facelock and the Rockers hit a double superkick for two. Over to Bret and he puts Shawn down with an atomic drop and then gets the knee from the apron to go heel and take over on him. He slugs it out with Shawn, but Shawn gets a backslide for two. So Anvil comes in with a backdrop TO THE LIGHTS for two before going to a bearhug. Anvil whips him into the corner and Shawn does a Flair Flip, trying to get the Japanese crowd going with a typical big bump, but that doesn’t work. Back in for a chinlock from Anvil as Marty convinces the crowd to clap in support at least. Bret takes Shawn to the corner for a beating and does the Anvil whip spot, with Shawn hocking up a GIANT loogie to sell the damage. They’re trying really hard to get this crowd going, I’ll give them that. Bret drops an elbow, but Shawn whips him into the corner for the Bret Hart Bump. Bret tries to slingshot Anvil into the ring, but that misses and Shawn crawls for the tag before getting cut off again. Shawn with a sunset flip on Bret for two, but Bret tosses him out and Anvil continues the beating on the floor. Back in for a chinlock from Bret. Finally it’s hot tag Marty and he hits Bret with a back elbow and kneelift, and a superkick gets two. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two. Backslide gets two. Blind charge misses and he takes a big bump over the top, but he escapes Anvil and brings Shawn back in. And Anvil immediately hits him with a shoulder to the gut for two. Shawn gets a bodypress for two and goes up with a flying bodypress, but Bret rolls through for the pin at 14:46. This wasn’t like a top line match between them, but it was a solid tag match to open the show. But you could tell that the subdued crowd was driving them NUTS. ***

Meanwhile, the Harts do an interview with an interviewer who doesn’t speak English, so Anvil just does his usual cackling and Bret puts himself over as the greatest technical wrestler Japan has seen. Well I don’t know about that.

Earthquake v. Koji Kitao

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Kitao was fired from New Japan for being an asshole and joined the SWS with Tenryu instead, and had quite the chip on his shoulder. However, this is NOT the famous shoot match between them, which was actually 04.01.91 in Kobe, 2 nights later. So that’s disappointing from a historical perspective. Quake of course gets a big reaction from the crowd based on his previous experiences there, and they trade shoulderblocks until Kitao puts him down with a clothesline. Quake fires back with his own and beats on him with headbutts on the ropes, and they trade forearm shots until Kitao starts throwing kicks and a clothesline to put Quake on his back foot. Quake goes to a bearhug and puts him down with a jumping kick before going to a chinlock. Kitao hits him with a jumping knee and follows with a Saito suplex for two, however. Koji with more kicks, but Quake catches one and powerslams him before dropping an elbow on him. This sets up the Quake Splash, and that finishes clean at 6:14. This was a pretty fun Mean Guy Match and kind of stiff and hinky at times, but nothing that would indicate Kitao about to have an epic temper tantrum at the next show or anything. Also surprising to see Kitao lay down for the finisher like that. Of course in Kobe he wouldn’t be so magnanimous about doing another job. ** And for those who don’t know the story, Kitao was asked to do the job to Quake in their next match, and basically went off script and punched him in the nose before cutting a promo on the crowd that called wrestling fake.

Meanwhile, we get comments from Quake, who promises to beat Kitao again in Kobe until he quits and doesn’t want any more of the Quake. Maybe he’ll just get really mad and punch Quake in the nose or something. Anything can happen!

The Great Kabuki & Takashi Ishikawa v. Ted Dibiase & Haku

I can’t even imagine what kind of wacky name we’d get for the WWF team today. The Million Dollar Meng? Haku overpowers flabby old Kabuki to start and Dibiase comes in to work the arm. Kabuki fights back with chops and Dibiase hits him with a suplex. Interestingly, the announcers keep calling him “King Haku” even though he was long since deposed as regent. Japanese have a long memory I guess. Haku with a chinlock on Kabuki after a nice dropkick, but Ishikawa comes in and wraps up Haku in a grapevine leglock on the mat. Haku manages to tag Dibiase to escape, but Ishikawa immediately chops him down again and Kabuki comes in with his own shots while we get Greg Valentine randomly watching from ringside. This apparently inspires the heels to take over, as they hit Ishikawa with a double elbow. Back to Kabuki, as Haku pounds on him with headbutts and follows with a piledriver for two. Dibiase with a suplex for two, which reminds me of an old joke from RSPW. Japanese fans were always confused when Tully and Arn would do Japan shows, because they were called The Vertical Suplexes. Haku with a chinlock on Kabuki and Dibiase gets a clothesline for two, but Kabuki fights back with a suplex. Haku with a slam, but he goes up and misses a diving headbutt, allowing Ishikawa to get a hot tag. He gets the Sharpshooter on Dibiase, but Haku breaks it up and Ted whips him into the superkick from Haku, followed by a backdrop suplex for the pin at 15:30. Finish was pretty badass but the rest of the match kind of sucked and was very slow and plodding. *1/2. Not sure where a random teaming of Dibiase and Haku came from, either.

Sgt. Slaughter v. Ultimate Warrior

Warrior goes through the crowd like a maniac and immediately hauls Sarge to the floor for a brawl out there, chopping him backwards onto the announce table and beating on him with a chair while everyone scrambles for their lives. Into the ring to actually start the match, and Warrior hits him with a short clothesline before running him into the post and out to the floor. Warrior grabs a table and uses it like a giant sword in the ring, before slingshotting Slaughter into the corner. Sarge hits him with a clothesline and grabs his own chair for some shots in the ring, chasing off the ref as well, but either this is no-DQ or Hebner is particularly chill tonight. Slaughter works the back and goes to the camel clutch for a bit, but Warrior fights out, hits the three clotheslines, and finishes with the big splash at 6:20. HUH. I thought they’d do one of the millions of screwjob finishes they had done after the Rumble to keep Slaughter strong. But nope, Warrior destroyed him. They kept it short and effective and on the scale of Warrior-Slaughter matches I’ve seen in my lifetime, this was one of the better ones. **1/2

Meanwhile, the backstage interviewer throws to highlights of an 8 man match from earlier in the night. Also, Jim Duggan facing Kendo Nagasaki in kind of a batshit combination. I don’t remember it but apparently it made the World Tour 1991 Coliseum Video, the only match from this show to do so.

Demolition v. Shunji Takano & Shinichi Nakano

Crush attacks Takano and that goes badly for him, as Nakano hits him with a missile dropkick. Crush runs him into Smash’s boot in the corner and they double-team him to set up a backdrop suplex from Smash. Over to Nakano, but Smash shakes his offense off and slams him before bringing Crush in for a press slam and a clothesline for two. Back to Smash, who treats Nakano like he’s swatting a fly, and then Crush brawls with Takano on the floor while Smash drops Nakano with a stungun. And the Decapitation elbow finishes at 5:34. Just an extended squash. *

Naoki Sano v. Masakatsu Funaki

This will be your UWF shoot style match of the evening, I assume. Indeed, they square up and exchange stiff kicks to start before Sano takes him down with a judo throw and tries for a submission. They trade more kicks and Funaki goes for the leg, rolling into an anklelock before Sano makes the ropes and then reverses out. Sano takes him down with a cool double underhook suplex, but Funaki immediately reverses into a cross armbreaker and Sano has to make the ropes. Funaki takes him down and tries for a kimura, but Sano reverses to a choke. Funaki throws him down and works for his own choke and they do some really cool mat reversals. Sano tries for control on top, but Funaki just hauls off and kicks him in the face for an 8 count from the ref. So they’re up and trading shots again, and this time Sano kicks him down for an 8. Funaki hits him with a backdrop driver, apparently having had enough of this, and finishes with the cross armbreaker at 10:35. I don’t really know how to rate shoot style but this felt like a ***1/2 fight.

Mr. Perfect v. Kerry Von Erich

Well how else would you follow up Sano v. Funaki? Perfect attacks and clotheslines him to the floor, and then hits him with knees when he tries to get back in. Kerry hauls him to the floor for a tornado punch out there and then brings him into the ring and tosses him over the top rope so that Perfect can show us how to take that bump. Back in, Kerry whips him into the corner and Perfect takes his usual crazy bump off that, and Kerry goes to a Boston crab. Perfect makes the ropes and bails to the floor to escape, and then grabs a chair and smashes him in the face from the floor, which the ref somehow ignores. Back in, Perfect comes off the middle rope and Kerry catches him in the Iron Claw, but the ref is bumped and Perfect runs Kerry into an exposed turnbuckle and NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX. But the ref won’t count it for some reason. So Kerry runs Perfect into the steel and the ref calls for the DQ and awards the match to Kerry at 7:00. And the crowd boos that shitty finish out of the building. Couple of nice bumps but mostly terrible. ½*

Meanwhile, the Legion of Doom (calling themselves the Road Warriors here) offer words for warning for Tenryu and Hogan in advance of the main event. Animal claims that Hogan has never been in the ring with them before, which is in fact not only true, but in fact they were never in the ring together AFTER this match, either.

Jimmy Snuka & The Barbarian v. Yoshiyaki Yatsu & Ishinriki

I’m just gonna say it, this is a weird fuckin show. I wish they would have switched up the teams to the Faces of Fear and then Dibiase and Snuka, because at least I would have had “Murder for Hire” ready as a team name, or maybe “Blood Money”. Ishinriki manages to take Barbarian down and gets a senton for two, but Barbarian tosses him off and it’s over to Yatsu instead. He wins a slugfest and it’s back to Ishinriki, but the WWF side quickly beats on him in their corner and Yatsu has to come in and take care of things again. He holds a headlock on Snuka, but Jimmy fights out with a chop and Barbarian drops an elbow for two. Snuka throws chops in the corner, but Yatsu hits him with a backdrop suplex and it’s back to Ishinriki, who gets some shine with a hiptoss and dropkick to put Snuka on the floor. He follows with a springboard dive and nearly overshoots, and then hits a clothesline off the apron to get the crowd going. Back in, he gets caught by the KICK OF FEAR and it’s back to Snuka, who is embracing his big mean guy heel persona here. Snuka with a slam and Barbarian puts the boots to Ishinriki in the corner before hitting a sideslam for two. Barbarian with a chinlock, but Yatsu gets the hot tag and hits a jumping clothesline for two. Ishinriki with a shoulderblock and a jackknife cover for two. Yatsu with a powerslam on Barbarian for two, and a bridged backdrop suplex finishes at 9:55. I’d say this way overdelivered based on the participants, with Snuka in particular having a lot of fun as a bad guy. ***1/4

George Takano v. Macho King Randy Savage

Of course, this is kind of sus because Savage’s career was ended by Warrior three days prior, but I believe they said he was fulfilling his contractual obligations to explain all the matches he worked after losing. I don’t know that Savage had a ton of Japanese experience but he sure looked like a megastar and only needed the entrance and one OH YEAH to establish his greatness for the crowd. I should note that Takano is dressed like a Roman gladiator, so maybe Jim Herd was watching this show and got his inspiration for Ric Flair’s new gimmick from this. Takano throws an aggressive kick to start and Macho thinks it over on the floor and then tries for a headlock. Takano gets his own instead and Macho misses a kneedrop and bails to the floor again in frustration. Back in, Savage offers a truce and then smacks him in the face and runs away, as obviously the babyface turn hadn’t stuck quite yet. Back in, Savage catches him with a shot on the apron and a suplex for two. He goes to the chinlock, but Takano fights out and hits him with a somersault kick in the corner. Enzuigiri follows and Macho tries to retreat to the apron, but Takano puts the boots to him until Macho tosses him to the floor and follows with a double axehandle. Back in, that gets two. Savage with a small package for two and he tries a facelock, but Takano boots him down again and works him over with a suplex for two. To the top for a flying splash that gets two. Tombstone piledriver follows, with poor Savage getting SPIKED on his head, and then Takano goes up and hits a splash that seemed like Savage was supposed to have gotten his knees up. That gets two. Savage with a gut wrench for two. He goes up and drops the big elbow and that finishes at 13:38. Man Savage had NOTHING going on here. This was your basic “Savage gets the shit beat out of him and comes back with the elbow to win” 1991 match. *1/2

Hulk Hogan & Genichiro Tenryu v. The Road Warriors

Hey they’re using Iron Man, so they’re the Road Warriors. Animal overpowers Tenryu and tosses him around, so it’s over to Hulk and the Warriors hit them with double press slams for two. Hulk blocks a blind charge and hits Animal with a clothesline out of the corner, and Tenryu chases them to the flor with enzuigiris and it’s a standoff. Back in, Hawk gets a dropkick on Tenryu and then Animal presses Hawk onto Tenryu for two and powerslams Tenryu while the ref is distracted. Meanwhile and Hawk and Hulk brawl on the floor, so Animal and Tenryu join them out there and Animal beats on Tenryu with a chairshot while Hogan manages to get busted open. Oddly he bladed his forehead while still having a giant bandage pad on the side of his face from another cut. Back in the ring, the Warriors double-team Tenryu in the corner and Hawk is now bleeding. Hawk and Tenryu trade chops and Hulk yells AXE BOMBER before hitting it for two. Animal comes in with a flying shoulderblock for two and goes to a chinlock. They clothesline each other, but Hawk comes in with a powerslam for two and the Warriors hit a double elbow for two. Hulk takes Animal down with a DROP TOEHOLD, showing his Japanese style, and it’s back to Tenryu, who quickly gets thrown out to the floor. Hulk saves his partner by attacking with a chair, so Hawk goes up the weapons ladder and tosses a table at Hulk. Back in the ring, Animal hits a nice belly to belly for two, but Tenryu fights back with a powerbomb on Hawk. But before he can release the hold, Animal hits him with a lariat. So it’s Hulk time again, and he actually hits the big boot and legdrop on Animal, but it only gets two before Hawk saves. Doomsday Device on Tenryu (or “diving lariat” according to the announcers) and Hulk saves with a chairshot this time before they all brawl on the floor again. But the Warriors beat the count at 13:62 and emerge victorious in the one and only match they had with Hulk Hogan. Wouldn’t be surprised if Hulk held a grudge and had them both killed in retribution. ***1/2. Afterwards, things get testy with chairs getting thrown and referees having to get involved to split them up before they all make up and Hulk’s music gets played. He lost the match! This also ended up on the Road Warriors DVD put out by WWE.

I think this show was mostly a disappointment based on what the card looked like, with mostly house show level matches outside of the main event and the bizarrely fun Snuka & Barbarian team. I have no earthly idea where you’d track this one down anyway. Interesting from a historical perspective, no doubt, but mostly just mid as a wrestling show.