The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 06.21.86

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 06.21.86

Taped from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

BREAKING NEWS:  The Southern title has been declared vacant and will be decided by a one-night tournament to crown a new champion, because there were just too many shenanigans from Bill Dundee and Buddy Landel.

The Nightmares join Lance, and yeah they dress weird, but they want to be recognized wherever they go, so they’re fine with it.

The Nightmares v. The Beach Boys

The Boys double-team Danny Davis to start (not that one) and work on the arm, but Ken Wayne gets a shot from the apron and they go to work on Van Van Van.  But then he quickly makes the hot tag to John Stewart, who has a full charge on his ring, but the Nightmares double-team him behind the ref’s back and Wayne finishes with a flying splash at 2:50.  Jerry Jarrett loves his pretty boy teams, but this ain’t it, chief.

Bill Dundee joins us to complain about Jerry Jarrett and his stooges screwing him over in the boardroom because none of the babyfaces can beat him in the ring.  So they declared a tournament because none of them want to face him, so they blocked him from being in the tournament and screwed him over again.  But now he’s in the tournament and all the idiots in the territory are gonna eat their words when he wins the title back.  (Spoiler:  He didn’t.  Also I never would have guessed the tournament final in a million years.)

Dutch Mantel & Buddy Landel v. Keith Eric & The Inferno

Buddy as a babyface is still so weird.  Budro beats on the Inferno with chops in the corner and Dutch puts him down with a back elbow.  Over to Eric and Dutch takes him down and works the arm, and Dutch slams him for one.  So they haul the Inferno back in and everyone is brawling, but Buddy tosses Inferno and Dutch hits Eric with the MX missile suplex, and Buddy drops the elbow for the pin at 2:46.

Meanwhile, we get footage from the Mid-South Coliseum last week, with Jerry Lawler & Giant Hillbilly & Austin Idol facing the Mod Squad and JD Costello, and JD is about as effective here as you’d imagine.  So the faces trap the Mod Squad in their corner and destroy them, and then Hillbilly gets JD and drops the leg on him, setting up Lawler for the piledriver and finally the figure-four from Idol to finish.  And then JD goes out on a stretcher for good measure.

JD Costello and the Mod Squad join us, and JD is now sporting a neck brace and a cane.  So JD promises that the next time they see Jerry Lawler and “The Giant Blob” on the marquee, it means they’re gonna see them get HURT.

The Mod Squad, Fire & Flame v. David Haskins, Benny Trailer, Jim Jamison & Jerry Garmin

Spike slams Jamison and drops a leg on him and then Basher hits him with more slams.  Over to Trailer and he gets thrown around the ring by Fire and Flame, and then it’s back to Jamison, but Flame tosses a fireball at him and Basher pins him at 2:11.  Well that was at least a better fireball than last week’s effort.

Meanwhile, we get a video from Pretty Boy Larry Sharpe, who introduces us to some new trainee named BAM BAM BIGELOW, who is a big freak with a tattooed head and he’s looking for Jerry Lawler.  This was pretty awesome, with Sharpe pulling a hood off Bigelow’s head to reveal the tattoos, which no one had ever seen before.

Jerry Lawler & Giant Hillbilly v. The Strong Machine & Abdul Gaddafi

Lawler slugs on Strong Machine and goes for the mask, so he tags out to Gaddafi.  Abdul hits Lawler with a slam for two and beats on him with shoulderblocks, but Lawler pulls down the strap and makes the comeback.  And it’s over to Hillbilly, who drops the leg to finish at 1:56.

Meanwhile, we get a video about Austin Idol, who works out to “Holding Out For a Hero”.

Also I really love the Lance Russell drop-in promos for Evansville, where he looks at the paper with the card on it and he’s just so amazed at the great matches that we’re getting on this upcoming show and can’t believe how lucky he is to see it.

Jos LeDuc v. David Johnson & Mike Murphy

Jos brings his strap with him, just in case he needs it, and he absorbs all the punches from the geeks and just ignores it, putting the boots to them and hitting Johnson with a kneelift.  He hits Murphy with a standing dropkick and then plows Johnson with a lariat, picks him up and does it again, and then pins them both at 1:51.

Afterwards, Jos does a promo with Lance, and he’s got the strap and declares that Diamond will never again be able to attack him from behind like a coward.  And right on cue, Diamond appears behind him and superkicks him in the throat, which finally shuts Jos up.  Diamond:  “You taught me one thing:  Attacking someone from behind WORKS!”  So Diamond is now wearing camouflage paint as he turns into a mercenary, and this gets progressively more wacky as we go.

Paul Diamond & Mr. Liberty v. The Dirty Black Boys

I’m assuming the Black Boys are the Memphis version of the Dirty White Boys but still…YIKES.  Insert Steve Carrell cringe face here.  Anyway they’re masked and dark-skinned, but I don’t know if they’re lacking in cleanliness or what.  Liberty works on one of them and Diamond comes in with a clothesline and gut wrench for two, and it’s over to Liberty to help with a double backdrop.  Paul works a facelock on a Black Boy and so does Liberty.  And with this match going nowhere, Jos LeDuc and the Mod Squad run in for the DQ at 4:11 and beat Diamond down until a bunch of geek babyfaces make the save.

And Lance wraps it up for another week!

Oh man this Bam Bam Bigelow stuff gets pretty awesome in a hurry, and it also means the debut of someone else pretty notable soon as well.