The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 09.28.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 09.28.91

Originally written 10.03.25

Taped from Ottawa, ON, on 09.09.91. Yes we have finally moved to a new taping after Summerslam!

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Rowdy Roddy Piper

Bret Hart v. The Brooklyn Brawler

Bret’s first appearance as IC champion on Superstars, since they didn’t have footage of him with the belt from before the show. Vince talks about Randy Savage being on probation with Jack Tunney and stresses to Piper that he’s NOT TO LAY HIS HANDS ON ANYONE as a broadcaster, either. Oh it’s that episode! Bret beats on Brawler in the corner and drops the leg on him before hitting a backbreaker and going up with the middle rope elbow. Bret with the legsweep and he finishes with the Sharpshooter at 2:20. Brawler of course did his usual great job of immediately making Bret look like a top guy. Vince: “I bet that belt would look nice around YOUR waist”. Well Piper would soon find out.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND! BROUGHT TO YOU BY TOYS R US!

They’re still shilling Warrior merchandise despite his departure. Anyway, Gene chats with Sgt. Slaughter, who is in seclusion in the field, having thoughts about life and stuff. But Sarge talks about how he got exactly what he deserved after chumming around with scum and slime and sleaze. But enough about the WWF backstage agents! But anyway, he turned his back on his own country because he wanted to be WWF champion so badly. To be fair, it worked. But now he’s in HELL because he lost his family and country, and now he WANTS HIS COUNTRY BACK. This was a such a lazy babyface turn, as Slaughter didn’t really do anything to make him worthy of forgiveness, as he basically was the worst person in the promotion for months and betrayed his own country for the title, and then after he got beaten one time it’s like “Oh, well, I feel bad, cheer for me again.”

The Rockers v. Duane Gill & Barry Hardy

Piper is over the top in talking about how the Rockers are tighter than ever and the team of the 90s, which of course foreshadows the impending end. Piper voice of reason, talks about how Slaughter is still a traitor who hasn’t done anything to prove that he’s not lying about this change of heart. Marty works the arm on Hardy, but Gill comes in for a double-team attempt that goes sideways on them. Shawn is still wearing his baseball cap because he’s WACKY and young, I guess. Shawn finally takes it off and slugs away on Gill in the corner, and then puts him down with a clothesline and slams Marty on him for the pin at 2:40.

The Funeral Parlor with special guest Jake The Snake Roberts. Jake points out that he’s now bringing a cobra to the ring with him all the time, and he’ll be wearing a handling glove to make sure he doesn’t get bitten. You know who IS gonna get bitten? Sid Justice.

The Warlord v. Sonny Blaze

Poor Warlord doesn’t even get “Jive Soul Bro” here. No wonder he ditched Slick and went with Harvey instead. Blaze tries to run into Warlord and that goes badly for him, before Warlord hits him with a gut wrench and puts the boots to him. Full nelson finishes at 2:24. Crazy that this guy is still alive and doing the nostalgia circuit with Barbarian. You’d think his heart would have exploded years earlier.

Meanwhile, Tito Santana continues his quest to be EL MATADOR. All kinds of people learning life lessons this week. In order to have courage, you must first have fear. Well duh. Who the hell wouldn’t be terrified of a bull?

The Natural Disasters v. Joe Milano & Martin Roy

Quake beats on Roy in the corner while Macho Man joins the commentary team very late in the show. Quake drops an elbow on Roy while Vince stresses that NO ONE CAN TOUCH ANYONE while on commentary. Typhoon comes in and bowls Roy over, before hitting a corner splash. And Quake drops the butt splash on him for the pin at 3:10.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Brian Donahue

Duggan slugs away on the ropes and backdrops Donahue before hitting a clothesline out of the corner and finishing with the three point stance at 1:02.

Meanwhile, we get a quick look at Suburban Commando. That’s about all I can take.

Ric Flair v. Mark Thomas

The announce team is at the desk with nice wooden folding chairs this week, and Ric stops by to smack Piper around and exert his dominance. But Piper is a professional and won’t do anything to fight back, so Flair slugs him off the stage and drops a chair on him before putting the boots to him. Savage, under probation, can’t make the save or touch anyone and has to stand there helplessly, so Vince himself jumps down and chases Flair away, which results in a dazed Piper KNOCKING VINCE OUT with a chairshot while aiming for Flair. And Flair puts Piper down one last time before the agents finally break them up and drag him away. Incredible angle for 1991, with Vince McMahon getting involved in a brawl for the first time I can remember.

And with no one to wrap up the show, we do a silent replay of the angle to end things. Goddamn what a finish!