The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 03.28.87

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 03.28.87

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania!

Taped from Dayton, OH on 03.10.87

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino & Jesse Ventura

Meanwhile, Bob Uecker (currently smiling down on the Brewers from baseball heaven) chats with Andre and Bobby with only one day to go before Andre ends Hulkamania and claims the WWF title!  And since Bob is the guest ring announcer, they make him practice announcing Andre as the new World champion.

The Can Am Connection v. Steve Lombardi & Johnny K-9

Hey, it’s the Brooklyn Brawler and the Romanian Piece of Shit!  The Can-Ams double-team K-9 and work the arm, while we get an inset from Muraco & Orton.  They dub themselves “T and T”, for the Tank and the Technician.  Sadly the team split up soon after and that never got over, because otherwise you could sell a million t-shirts with that on it.  Martel tries a headscissors in the heel corner and Lombardi punches him in the head from the apron to take over.  They collide for a double down but Martel quickly gets the hot tag to Tom Zenk, who hits K-9 with a dropkick before taking out Lombardi.  Monkey flip on K-9 and he follows with a powerslam, and then slingshots Martel in for the pin at 3:19.  Honestly you could do worse than stealing the finishing move of Steamboat & Youngblood.

UPDATE!  WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Gene gives us the last minute hard sell on Steamboat v. Savage, and we get comments from the Dragon, who is talking just fine now thankfully.  He was out for 7 weeks and 5 days thanks to Savage!  That’s almost 2.5 North Carolina gym grand openings!  But now he’s back and breathing fire.  And somewhere Vince has an idea…

The Natural Butch Reed v. Jim Powers

They fight over a wristlock and Reed actually can’t take him down, while we get an inset from Koko B. Ware and Jesse makes some Buckwheat jokes that haven’t aged particularly well.  Reed drops an elbow on Powers and then follows with a back elbow, which what we in the reviewing business call a “reverse Boogie Woogie Man”, and then lays him out with a clothesline.  And the flying clothesline finishes at 2:28.

The Hart Foundation v. Joe Mirto & Ricky Hunter

Damn we got some high quality jobbers this week.  Vince, king of punching down on people, complains that Danny Davis is spending too much time kicking people when they’re down.  The jobbers manage to handle the Anvil for a bit, but Bret hits his patented knee from the apron and turns the tide on Mirto, allowing Danny Davis to get some cheapshots from the floor.  Jesse notes that it’s much easier hitting someone when they’re down rather than standing up, so Davis is a smart guy.  Hart Attack finishes Mirto at 2:30.

Last week, Nikolai Volkoff tries to sing the Russian national anthem and Hacksaw Duggan is NOT HAVING IT, because America is the land of the free!  I believe he calls his board the First Amendment.  So we hear from Iron Sheik and Slick, who challenge Jim to a match NEXT WEEK.  And Duggan responds in the affirmative.  Interesting how the initial version of Duggan was much harder-edged than what he became after the firing.

Jake Roberts v. Moondog Spot

This might be the greatest collection of enhancement talent ever assembled outside of a WCW Saturday Night taping in 1994..  Spot takes him down with a hairpull, so Jake returns the favor and then hits him with the kneelift.  Blind charge misses while we get an inset promo from Honky Tonk Man and I’m suddenly wanting to visit the concession stand in Tupelo for some reason.  Spot with a fistdrop for two, but Jake slugs back, and KICK WHAM DDT finishes at 1:47.  He actually hit that in a much more sudden fashion than he usually does, and he gave Spotty a ton of offense for the two minutes they got.  Is this another Moondog Spot Hidden Gem?  You be the judge.  All I know is, somewhere in 1987 there’s a tape trader putting together a three-VHS Moondog Spot workrate compilation, and I desperately want to meet him.

Piper’s Pit (series finale) with special guest, himself.  He takes down the pictures and stands up on the table to address the crowd directly.  He talks about raising his daughters in America and always fighting for them, and he thanks the WWF for making his dreams come true, and it’s time for daddy to come home for good.  Or until Vince pays him a shitload of money to boost house show business, whichever comes first.

WRESTLEMANIA III UPDATE!  WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

We hear from Mary Hart, as Jimmy tries to convince her to join the Hart Foundation.  Plus Gene runs down the card and you all know it and can recite it by heart.

Meanwhile, we hear from Bob and Mary again, although Bob has lost the tickets to the show somehow.

King Harley Race v. Jerry Allen

Clean sweep for great jobbers this week.  Allen misses a dropkick and King hits him with a belly to belly.  We get an inset from the Dog as Race hits a shoulderbreaker and finishes with the cradle suplex at 1:00.

NEXT WEEK:  Hacksaw Duggan v. Iron Sheik!  Wrestlemania III fallout!  Jake Roberts!  King Harley Race!  Demolition! 

Why would they have Roberts and Race working a show the week after they already did one?  It’s from the same taping, too!  I don’t get that at all.