The SmarK Rant for WWE Wrestlemania 42 Night 2 – 04.19.26

The SmarK Rant for WWE Wrestlemania 42 – 04.19.26

Night two!

Live from Las Vegas, NV

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Wade Barrett

Oba Femi v. Brock Lesnar

Guess Brock wants to collect his WM payday and then get the hell out of there. Regardless it’s a good choice to put on ESPN for people curious about ordering. Also they have the Tale of the Tape and in ring introductions to give it the big fight feel. They do a dramatic lockup to start and Brock takes him to the corner and beats on him there, but Femi no-sells it and bowls him over. So Brock goes with clotheslines and that gets nothing, resulting in Brock getting laid out and retreating to the floor. Oba tries to haul him back in, complete with shocked reaction from Heyman, but Brock necks him on the top rope and runs him into the stairs to take over. Back in the ring, it’s time for Suplex City, but Oba fights back, so Brock hits him with the F5, which Oba pops up from. Chokeslam for Brock and he follows with the powerbomb and gets the clean pin at 4:46. Nicely executed destruction of Brock here. ***. And then Brock leaves his boots and gloves in the ring, apparently calling it a career and sharing a hug with Paul on the way out. So I guess this was sponsored by the Janel Grant legal fund.

Intercontinental title, ladder match: Penta v. Rusev v. JD McDonough v. Dragon Lee v. Rey Mysterio v. Je’Von Evans

All the luchadors gang up on JD in the corner to start and then we get a three-way showdown as they’re all in red for some reason, but Rusev takes the out with a ladder shot. Je’Von dives outside, but Dragon hits him with a rana off the apron and poor JD gets taken out again. Back in the ring, Lee and Rey slug it out and Rey misses the 619, allowing Lee to superkick him out, but Rusev again smashes everyone with the ladder. He makes the first climb and Penta cuts him off, but JD brings Penta down and he’s next up. Evans cuts him off, but he gets bumped to the floor, before coming back in with a springboard clothesline to knock JD off the ladder. Lee ends up sandwiched in a ladder, because why not, and Rey hits him with a 619 to take him out from there. Evans hits everyone with superkicks and suplexes Penta onto a ladder, allowing Dragon Lee to make the climb, but Rusev smashes everyone again and makes his own climb. Rey and Penta team up to bring him down, but then disagree on who climbs for the belt, which leads to Rey getting tossed onto Rusev outside and putting them both through a ladder. Back to Rey and Penta fighting for the ladder, and it’s a 619 for Penta to allow Rey to climb, but Dragon Lee cuts him off and Rey puts him down. So Lee pulls out a Styles Clash to take out Rey, but JD brings Lee down from the ladder with a Spanish fly. So that leaves JD alone to make the climb, but Penta cuts him off, so JD tries a suplex onto a ladder bridge and Penta counters him with a destroyer on the ladder instead and they’re both pretty much dead. Replay shows that it was 100% safe at least. Evans is left alone now and he makes the climb, but Rusev cock blocks him again and tosses him outside. He makes the climb, but Evans flies in with a cutter from the top rope out of nowhere in a great camera angle to bring him down. But then Penta flies in with a destroyer on Evans and makes the climb, retaining the title at 15:00. Evans will have his day, I’m sure. Great car crash match, easily the best match of both nights thus far. ****1/4

US title: Sami Zayn v. Trick Williams

Trick is accompanied by a rapper that I am not familiar with but I’m sure the youths love him. I think his name is Little Yahtzee, and I know kids love that game. Trick slugs away, but Sami fires back in the corner. Trick hits him with a neckbreaker and a uranage for two. Sami gets the Blue Thunder Bomb for two and beats him down in the ropes, and then goes to take care of the rap guy before hitting Trick with a brainbuster on the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Sami working rather heelish tonight. Trick beats the count, so Sami goes for the Huluva Kick, but Trick’s friend trips up Sami and Trick hits a spinning kick for two. Another one misses and Sami rolls him up for two and sends him into the corner with the exploder. But then Trick comes out with the Trick shot to finish and win the US title at 7:13. Basic short TV match with more celebrity involvement that it didn’t need. **1/2

Street Fight: The Demon Balor v. Dominick Mysterio

I feel like this would have had more impact if they hadn’t spoiled the Demon beforehand. Unfortunately they already killed it off with losses to Roman Reigns and the Fiend years ago, but it’s been long enough to bring it back I think. Dom on a throne and surrounded by an army of luchadors is very on brand for him. Demon beats on Dom and sends him to the floor. We get out first Slim Jims Table, but Dom dives and beats on him with a kendo stick to prevent it from being used. Dom brings some chairs in and slingshots in with a senton before putting the boots to him. Balor suplexes him onto a pair of chairs and follows with a sling blade, but Dom superkicks him, so Demon DDTs him on a chair and hits him with the shotgun dropkick in the corner. Balor to the top, but he mises and Dom lays him out with a chairshot for two. Dom brings the SLIM JIMS TABLE into the ring and sets that up in the corner, but Balor gets another sling blade. Dom runs him into the table and adds a chairshot and a 619 with a chair assist, setting up the frog splash for two. Dom with another SLIM JIMS TABLE and he takes forever to set it up, but Demon pops up and makes the comeback before dropkicking him into the corner and then hoisting him onto his own SLIM JIMS TABLE for a coup de grace to finish at 10:25. Meh. Just another “chairs and tables” street fight that didn’t really have any particular excitement to it. The one from Night One was way better. **1/2

WWE Women’s title: Jade Cargill v. Rhea Ripley

Jade overpowers Rhea to start, but Rhea slams her and follows with a dropkick to put her on the floor. Back in, Jade with a powerslam for two and they head to the floor, where Jade runs her into the railing. Back in, Jade with a powerbomb for two and Jade is already doing SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE. Jade with a crossface and Rhea powers out of it and hits her with a kick from underneath and they slug it out on the mat. Rhea with a electric chair slam for two, but Jade escapes Riptide and superkicks her into a spinebuster for two. Jade goes for Jaded, but Rhea counters into a cradle for two. Rhea with a rana and a shining wizard in the corner, but people start running in to provide distraction, allowing Jade to send her into the post and hit a One Winged Angel for two. Jade tosses her and demands that her minions attack, but Iyo Sky gets to appear at WM and chases them off. Feels like someone missed a cue there. But then Jade gets all distracted and Rhea reverses the Jade into the Riptide to win the title at 10:11. Jade was looking pretty lost out there at times, but Rhea held it together fine. ***. Again though, another ridiculously short women’s match with a bunch of interference, just like last night.

John Cena joins us with the fake attendance number, which is naturally bigger than Night one, So the Miz and Kit Wilson interrupt because they’re looking for their WM moment, but Danhausen and his army of midgets interrupt the interruption and do an elaborate entrance. Danhausen is a big fan of Cena, but Miz does the midget jokes and Kiz shoves one of them for cheap heat and they all beat him up. And then Danhausen punches Miz in the nuts as well and steals the Five Knuckle Shuffle before the midgets all kidnap Miz and carry him away. And then Danhausen “vanishes” in a puff of smoke. Well they tried.

WWE World title: CM Punk v. Roman Reigns

It only takes 20 minutes to get both guys into the ring after the final round of commercials. That’s an improvement. They do the staredown to start and slug it out, but Roman hits him with a samoan drop and clotheslines him to the floor for a shot to the post. They brawl out there and Reigns sends him into the crowd, where Punk takes a seat in the front row. Can he even afford that on his salary? WM main eventer barely covers admission price. Punk fights back and draws a heel reaction, and they slug it out in the ring. Reigns gets a big boot for two off that. He beats on Punk with clotheslines in the corner, but Punk takes him down and slugs away on the mat before hitting a leg lariat and the knee in the corner. Punk with the bulldog and the crowd does not appreciate that, but Roman sends him into the post to escape the GTS and follows with the superman punch for two. Reigns sets up for the spear, Punk hits him with the knee when he’s going AH-OOGA in the corner to cut him off. Punk with a neckbreaker and a clothesline to put Roman on the floor, and he hits Roman with a dive before trolling the fans some more. He teases a Logan Paul elbow off the post, but Roman revives and they slug it out on the apron before Roman hangs him in the Tree of Woe and hits him with a superman punch out there. Not once, not twice, BUT THRICE. He also adds the stairs to the face and Punk is apparently bleeding. So Roman powerbombs him through the Spanish table, which thankfully breaks tonight, leaving Punk for dead. Is the referee even counting? What are they even paying this guy for? Back in the ring, Punk hits a GTS out of nowhere for two. Roman with a spear for two. He tries his own GTS, but takes too long and Punk escapes and hits a high kick for two. So Punk loads up a superman punch and that gets two. Punk steals an official WWE branded Ulla Falla from a fan at ringside, but Reigns will stand for his merch being misrepresented and catches Punk in a guillotine. Punk reverses to the Anaconda Vice, but Reigns punches out of it and reverses to his guillotine. Punk reverses that and tries a sharpshooter, but Reigns kicks him in the face and goes back to the choke again. Punk reverses to a cradle for two and they collide for a double down. That spot should be sponsored by KFC. They’re wasting a huge monetization opportunity there. So they slug it out and the crowd is FINALLY awake and treating this like a WM main event, but neither guy goes down. So Punk does some trickery and throws his wrist tape away to distract the ref like he’s Solid Snake, and that sets up a low blow and GTS for two. Very slick. Punk drops elbows and they head to the floor again so Punk can try another flying elbow onto the table, and this one actually succeeds. Back in the ring, Punk with another GTS, but Roman lands in the ropes and then falls back on Punk’s back again. So Punk does it again, but his back gives out and he drops Roman. This allows Roman to hit a spear cleanly this time, and Punk defiantly keeps fighting, so Roman gets some speed and finishes with a second spear at 34:00 to win the title. Not sure about putting a title back on Roman, but the match was awesome and more than lived up to the main event spot tonight. *****

MUCH better show tonight, with a classic main event and a great ladder match, plus Brock getting his ass kicked and retiring. The commercials were still annoying and the undercard matches were less than inspiring and still too short, but for what was basically a three hour show that flew by, it was very entertaining and an easy thumbs up.