The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 07.25.87

The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 07.25.87

Skipping ahead another couple of weeks with this one. Doesn’t matter, this show is always chicken soup for the wrestling nerd’s soul.

Your hosts are Joe Pedicino & Gordon Solie

First up, we go to the new Wild West Wrestling promotion in Texas!

Savannah Jack & The Missing Link v. Jack Victory & John Tatum

So basically this is World Class then. Joined with the heels working Savannah Jack over, as Tatum gets a clothesline for two, but Jack fights back with a kick on Victory and makes the hot tag to the Link, who is the most unlikely babyface running wild you’ll see this week. But I guess the ref throws out the match because Iceman Parsons runs in for the DQ and John Tatum cries about it. Because of course he does. Honestly not much on the Wild West show to distinguish it from the dying World Class shows.

To the NWA, where Gordon informs us that Lex Luger has won the US title from Nikita Koloff, although we don’t get footage from the Bash, but we do get this match:

NWA World tag team title: The Rock N Roll Express v. The Midnight Express

Joined with Bobby Eaton beating the mullet off Ricky Morton, as is good and right with the world, and Stan comes in with a backbreaker. But then it’s hot tag Robert and he hits Stan with a Thesz Press for two, but Bobby breaks it up and Stan puts him down with a neckbreaker. Bobby goes up with the Alabama Jam and the Midnights claim the tag team titles, but in fact it’s a DQ. I was hoping they’d show the match from the Bash 87 videotape with the most awesome Big Bubba run-in and Bubba Slam ever, but this was a pretty fun few minutes as well.

Back to Central States, where unlikely babyface Ox Baker gets laid out by Rip Rogers via loaded purse, and we learn that it’s filled with tightly rolled wads of cash, which apparently render it into a dangerous weapon. There’s a metaphor there I’m pretty sure.

Off to Continental…

Doug Furnas v. The Medic

Furnas, VERY VERY VERY early in his career, overpowers the Medic and he’s so stiff he can barely move. He goes up with a flying splash to finish. Furnas looked like Scott Steiner and moved like one of the trees from Lord of the Rings.

Wendell Cooley v. Akio Sato

Joined with Cooley making his babyface comeback, but accidentally knocking out the ref while he’s doing his Hacksaw Duggan stomps on the ropes. So Sato pulls out the RACIST SALT and tosses it in Wendell’s eyes for the pin. Sato still has his long hair from Memphis at this point and still doesn’t look like himself yet. Sadly, another ref comes in and stooges out the finish, and it’s a reverse decision, prompting a brawl.

To the AWA…

Soldat Ustinov v. Sonny Rogers

Joined with Ustinov putting Rogers in a bearhug. What kind of a Russian has an afro? That’s like the first rule of Minnesota bouncers playing Russians, you have to shave your head! Ustinov, who is dreadful but ended up tag team champion, pounds on Rogers with stompy forearms and then finishes with a body vice until Boris Zhukov calls him off. And I guess we missed the title change because the Russians are already tag team champions now according to the commentary. Man I bet the Rockers wish they could have had THAT career decision back.

Sound Off with Boni Blackstone, as someone writes in and wonders why managers are allowed at ringside. Boni points out that there’s lots of good managers who obey the rules, like Lou Albano. Yeah, Captain Lou Albano, notable for decades of following the rules and only managing babyfaces. Shows how dramatic fan turnover was in the Hulkamania era. Also another doofus fan thinks Ricky Steamboat deserves a rematch for the IC title beause Honky cheated. Well, he got one on Superstars later on and couldn’t get the job done there either.

To Memphis!

THE CLONES v. Ed Maddox & Mike Johnson

The Clones are dubbed 327 and 328, a pair of bald twins who were presumably created from the DNA of Baron Von Raschke I can only assume. In actuality it was another repackage of The Kelly Twins, who unfortunately came to an end via the car wreck that killed Adrian Adonis in 1988. And they finish the jobbers with a version of the Scorpion Deathlock.

And once again this show taunts me with an AWA house show that apparently happened in Edmonton on 7/25, although there’s no record of it that I can find. Like check out this travel schedule…

Like, WHAT? They’re doing a show in Wisconsin, then flying up over the border THE NEXT NIGHT in Edmonton and then back down to Montana again? Was Verne borrowing Jim Crockett’s private jet or something? Who would possibly book that kind of travel schedule?

Bill Apter joins us, with special guest PAUL DANGEROUSLY, who wants to debate Lou Albano and at this point he’s basically ripping off Michael Keaton. So they cut promos on each other and quickly start shoving each other, so Apter shuts down the segment.

To the UWF!

UWF World title: Big Bubba Rogers v. Dr. Death Steve Williams

Joined with Bubba working on the arm of Doc, who is working with a broken arm. But he’s got Dusty Rhodes in the corner cheering him on, and it’s generally a good idea to have the booker in your corner. Apparently we’re at the 30:00 mark, and if so I’m shocked Bubba is still breathing. Doc makes a comeback and slugs away on Bubba, as Bubba is busted open, but Bubba puts him down and goes to the top, hitting the flying Bubba splash for two. Akbar tries to run in, but he’s tied to Dusty Rhodes and can’t get in, and Doc powers up, hits the Oklahoma Stampede, and pins Bubba to win the title, becoming the final UWF champion as it turned out. And then we cut to the celebration in the back later, as the babyfaces douse him with champagne. Well I think I can guess who our Wrestler of the Week is gonna end up being.

To World Class…

The Rock N Roll RPMs v. The Spoiler & Matt Borne

Joined with Borne slugging Tommy Lane down and hits him with a suplex for two. Borne with a rollup for two, but Mike Davis hits him with a cheapshot from the apron and the RPMs take over. It’s quickly BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but Percy Pringle accidentally hits Lane with the cane in Spain mainly on the plain, and Borne gets the pin. And the RPMs chase their own manager out of the ring in annoyance.

Mat Classic: “Bombs Away” Kulkavich v. Patrick Frehley

Not familiar with either guy but I assume Frehley is spelled like the guitarist. This is from sometime in the early 50s, and Frehley finishes with a move called “a full Diamond twist”, which is basically a swinging neckbreaker. You might call it a Black Diamond Twist! Because of KISS, you see.

To the WWF…

Apparently there’s a lot of managers trying to sign Bam Bam Bigelow right now, and we get a video from Memphis, set to War Machine, BY KISS, as this show is tying my weird tangents together for me.

And then Joe interviews Jesse Ventura, who claims that he can come out of retirement with the help of Arnold, and GUARANTEE victory over Hulk Hogan for the WWF title with only four months of training with Arnie. Pedicino is skeptical. Jesse notes that if he had only had a shot at Hogan he could have won, but he got too busy being a movie star. Huge if true.

International Match of the Week: Korsita Korchenko v. Ricky Fujuki (?)

From Puerto Rico. As I suspected, Korchenko is obviously the shitty Russian from Mid-South, and we’re joined with him beating Fujuki down with forearms, but Fujimakes the comeback with spinkicks before missing a blind charge in the corner. And Korchenko finishes him with a top rope butterfly suplex. I’m assuming Fujuki was someone on loan from Japan but I can’t figure out if he was anyone of note and he didn’t get much offense here anyway.

And of course, there’s only one choice for Wrestler of the Week: Steve Williams, because Dusty is probably booking this show as well. Apparently it’s Doc’s lifelong dream to win the UWF World title, which was only around since 1986. Well who am I to judge a man’s dreams? Dream on, Doctor Death, dream on!