The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 08.09.86

The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 08.09.86

Taped from Greenville, SC

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, David Crockett & Jim Cornette

The Great American Bash tour has come to an end!

BREAKING NEWS:  We have a new Junior Heavyweight champion!  And the US title series is 3-2 for Nikita Koloff!  Also Jim Cornette has been forced to interview Dusty Rhodes later in the show.

Buddy Landel & Bill Dundee v. Todd Champion & Rocky Kernodle

Todd fights off both Bill and Budro and brings Rocky in, but Buddy cuts him off with a knee to the gut and drops the elbow on him.  Dundee comes in with the Bombs Away to finish at 1:14.  Kind of weird that Crockett took the hottest act in Memphis and brought them in ice cold like this.  I guess with a murderer’s row of heels in the territory it was easy for them to get lost in the shuffle anyway.

Magnum TA joins David and he’s come back from 3-0, because Nikita couldn’t get the job done and put him away.  And if he screws up, then he’ll embarrass the whole country and make Nikita the first Russian born US champion and he’s not gonna stand for that.

Jimmy Valiant & Manny Fernandez join David and Jimmy can’t believe that Paul Jones would even try to buy Willy Willy with money, because you can’t buy blood.  Meanwhile Manny is standing behind him looking shifty and full of thought.  But Manny has given his word, and his word is worth more than any amount of money.  Good to know.

The Kansas Jayhawks v. The Golden Terror & ???

The second masked jobber is even more generic and doesn’t get named here, and the Jayhawks finish with an elevated Hart Attack move at 1:45. I guess they stole Dutch from Memphis as well as Buddy and Bill.

Ron Garvin joins David, and he feels like he was robbed of the National title.

Mr. Electricity Steve Regal v. Rocky King

Regal is the new Junior champion, paying off the mystery from the opening of the show.  Now we can all sleep at night!  I feel like Regal should have found a partner who was Mr. Magnetism and then he could have spent the match running around Mr. Magnetism in circles and made him like 100 times stronger as a result.  Regal finishes with a legsweep at 1:45.

Jim Cornette joins us, and he’s delighted to learn that Johnny Weaver has sent in a videotape of Dusty Rhodes doing an interview with him, which means Cornette doesn’t have to interview him, and he immediately perks up.  So we go to the Dusty interview, as he’s still NWA World champion after a grueling week as champion, and he’s still taking on all challengers, assuming he makes it past the rematch with Ric Flair.

Wahoo McDaniel & Ron Garvin v. Bill Mulkey & Mike Simiani

Garvin chops Simiani down as Cornette notes that Wahoo claims to be the greatest Indian wrestler, which is like being the nicest guy in prison.  Not that big of an honor.  Hands of Stone finishes Mulkey at 1:13.

Ric Flair joins us and he wants to give props to Dusty, because he won the title from the best.

Paul Jones and his army join us and they’re still laughing about shaving Jimmy Valiant.  It’s true, it was pretty funny.

Krusher Kruschev v. The Italian Stallion

Yes, it’s the epic battle between Italy (by way of North Carolina) and Russia (by way of Minnesota).  Stallion tries a monkey flip and gets blocked, and then misses a bodypress and lands on the floor.  Cornette:  “Ha ha ha!  Talk about an idiot!”  Krusher slams him on the floor while Cornette demands that Dusty come out and face him for an apology to Bubba, as he’s suddenly very confident now that Dusty isn’t in the building.  Back in the ring, Krusher with the bearhug, squeezing him like Jerry Jarrett squeezed his pennies, and then Nikita just comes in and hits Stallion with a Sickle.  Afterwards we learn that Stallion had already given up at 3:00.  Really what was Tommy Young gonna do?  Disqualify the Russians?  Good luck with that.

Tully Blanchard joins us to bury Dusty Rhodes, and claim the next title shot.

Ole & Arn Anderson v. Mark Fleming & Vern Deaton

Ole quickly works on Fleming’s arm while Cornette notes that a three-legged table is no good to anyone.  Yeah but a pyramid is the strongest shape in geometry so WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?  Make it make sense. Explain it to me like I’m five.  I did not have that on my bingo card.  I was today years old.  Yeah it’s late and I’m tired.  They beat up on Deaton for a bit and it’s back to Fleming, who eats a gourdbuster and gets pinned at 2:53.

The Russians are here to also talk about Dusty Rhodes, like everyone else on the show this week.  And they’re still not done with Magnum TA.

The Rock N Roll Express v. Randy Mulkey & Gene Ligon

OK so their entrance reminds me that I was doing a bit of a deep dive on ELO, and I didn’t realize that “Rock N Roll Is King” was actually their last hit before Jeff Lynne got sick of dealing with the record company and disbanded the group.  I always thought it was a song that was around earlier in their career, but it was actually very late stage for them and was considered a huge disappointment as well.  By then Jeff was more interested in hanging out with George Harrison and being a producer, and really can you blame him?  Also Armchair Theater is a low key banger that sadly flopped and I wish he had done more solo stuff.  Ricky takes Ligon down with armdrags and Robert comes in with a kneelift.  Over to Mulkey and Ricky dropkicks him and goes to work on the arm.  Robert with a sunset flip for the pin at 1:34.  And then the Andersons hit the ring and destroy Robert, smashing his back and putting the boots to him after throwing Ricky out of the ring like he’s a sack of garbage or the Tampa Bay Rays.

Afterwards, the Andersons join Cornette and laugh about the attack, so the Rock N Roll storm the stage and they get into a huge brawl, heading back into the dressing rooms before the Andersons run away.  And then Ricky does a fired up promo on them to close the show, setting up Starrcade later in the year.

Even when Dusty isn’t in the building he still manages to make the entire thing about himself and do a featured interview.