The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 10.30.82

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 10.30.82

Time for a much-needed palette cleanser after Superbrawl 2000 yesterday. I had actually done this show early in the WWE Network’s existence when they were adding random Mid-South episodes, but I want to redo it because it’s an amazing episode of TV.

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Cowboy Bill Watts

TONIGHT! Junkyard Dog and Mr. Olympia defend the tag team titles against Ted Dibiase & Jim Duggan, with the loser of the fall having to leave Mid-South for 90 days!

Also the Louisiana State Fair is on right now so there’s lot of fun stuff for the kids in the Irish McNeil Boy’s Club tonight.

Cowboy Bill Watts talks to some kids in the crowd, complete with a gorilla hanging out with them and having fun, and introduces us to Houston promoter Paul Boesch. Boesch hopes to see JYD retain the titles because it’ll affect his business if he’s not around. But Watts has some BREAKING NEWS, and notes that Jim Duggan has been detained by police and he’s not here. So Dibiase has flown his old friend Matt Borne in from Portland to be his partner.

But before we get there, we go to footage from Houston.

Gino Hernandez, Tully Blanchard & Killer Khan v. Andre the Giant, Mil Mascaras & Junkyard Dog

The film has a weird purple tint on it, and we join things with Khan going after Andre’s ankle, and the heels triple-team that, but Andre headbutts Gino to escape and makes a hot tag to Mascaras. He ties up Tully in an abdominal stretch, but Khan breaks it up and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as Andre throws Mascaras on top of Tully for the pin at 2:15 shown.

Kamala v. Ted Allen

Watts clarifies that Grizzly Smith offered to bail Duggan out of whatever legal trouble he’s having so that the match could go on, but Duggan is a loner who wants to handle whatever the issue is privately.

Mid-South tag team title: Junkyard Dog & Mr. Olympia v. Ted Dibiase & Matt Borne

The substitution with Borne would seem to give away who’s leaving town, or does it? JYD gets a quick cradle on Dibiase for two, chasing him to the floor in frustration. Back in the ring, Olympia backdrops Borne out of the corner and takes him down with armdrags, and it’s over to the Dog to continue working the arm. Everyone slugs it out and even the gorilla in the crowd is hyped! Olympia works the arm on Borne, and the champs double-team Borne and put the boots to him until he bails to the floor to escape. And we take a rare commercial break and return with Dog dropping “the four sisters on Thumb street” on Dibiase’s nose, in Bill’s words. That’s great. Over to Olympia with a chinlock on Dibiase, but he slams out of it and Borne comes in and takes over with a kneedrop for two. Olympia fights them off, but Dibiase puts him down with a backbreaker for two and Dog makes the save. Back to Borne with a chinlock and the heels switch in behind the ref’s back. Dibiase with a slam and Borne comes in for a double slam and goes to a chinlock. Double clothesline and Dibiase powerslams Olympia to set up the BOMBS AWAY from Borne, but JYD makes the save again and drags Olympia back to the corner for the hot tag. Dog runs wild and cleans house with headbutts, but Dibiase loads up the black glove, so Dog goes after the glove and beats him down with his own glove. But then the gorilla hits the ring and it’s HACKSAW DUGGAN, who takes out Dog and allows Dibiase to regain his glove, knock out the Dog, and we have NEW champions at 13:42 and Dog is gone from the territory for 90 days. This was an amazing piece of business, made even greater because Matt Borne was clearly being brought in as the fall guy and then we got the double swerve with JYD being the one to lose the titles and leave the territory instead. You just didn’t see that kind of TV show angle in 1982. Also, GORILLAS ARE AWESOME. There’s a famous comic book story, that talks about how DC comic book editors in the 60s used to find ways to stick a gorilla on almost every cover because sales would immediately increase every time they did it. And the lesson holds true again here.

Tony Atlas v. The Grappler #2

Bill Watts is just WRECKED by this shit with the gorilla, man. The gorilla really tied the room together, man. Here we should be all excited to see Tony Atlas but instead the whole place is bummed about JYD losing the tag titles and getting bounced from the territory. Atlas takes him down with a headscissors and works a headlock while all the bench press talk almost shakes Watts out of his funk, to the point where he’s gotta leave the commentary desk because he’s so upset about JYD losing. FUCKING GORILLAS, MAN. Atlas with a pair of headbutts and a monkey flip out of the corner, and he finishes with a press slam and big splash at 2:34.

Gino Hernandez v. Jesse Barr

The Houston talent exchange continues with Gino joining Mid-South now, and Paul Boesch now joins us while Watts goes to the back to think about life. Paul notes he’s partly responsible for Gino’s entrance into wrestling. WINK WINK. Oh wait that’s been debunked now. Still funny. Barr with a full nelson attempt on Gino, who puts his feet on the ropes to break, so Jesse drops him in a classic spot. And Gino bails to the floor to escape. Boesch notes that Gino’s father was a wrestler too. OH REALLY PAUL? No, I’m just messing with you. Barr slugs away in the corner, but misses a blind charge and Gino goes up with a middle rope elbow for the pin at 3:00.

Meanwhile, Paul interviews the team of Dibiase, Duggan and Borne, who could use a catchy heel stable name. Dibiase laughs at them screwing over JYD with the gorilla gimmick, and now they’ve got all the titles and JYD has NOTHING. Borne cackles about the win like some kind of evil clown and Dibiase declares himself the new King of Mid-South.

Mr. Wrestling II v. Marty Lunde

Wrestling II takes him down and works the leg to start. Fun fact: Lunde was 14 years old here and working matches while attending middle school. Marty reverses to a wristlock and goes after the arm himself, but Wrestling II takes him down and Lunde makes the ropes. Wrestling II beats on him with forearm shots and then hits the kneelift twice, and then lets Lunde recover before hitting him with one last kneelift for the pin at 3:34.

Hiro Matsuda & Yoshi Yatsu v. Tim Horner & Vinnie Romeo

Yatsu went onto more fame in All Japan later on, of course. The Japan team double-teams Horner in their corner and works the leg, but Romeo comes in with a back elbow on Matsuda for two. But then Yatsu comes in with a Lesnar-style overhead suplex and puts Romeo away at 2:00.

And we are OUT OF TIME!

Can I ever learn to trust gorillas again? Maybe. With time.