The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 12.25.82

The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 12.25.82

Well this is a seasonally appropriate episode I guess. As always, dedicated to Daryl as we wrap up 1982.

Taped from Charlotte, NC

Your host is Bob Caudle

Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood join us with footage from Worldwide Wrestling, as they were doing a match against Private Nelson and Ricky Harris, leading to Sgt. Slaughter coming out and cheering on Nelson to put Youngblood in the Cobra Clutch. But then Youngblood BREAKS THE HOLD and pins Nelson and Slaughter is suddenly shitting himself at ringside. “He knows how to break the hold!” declares Steamboat while Slaughter backs off with terror in his face. Back at the studio, Jay reveals that he’s figured out perhaps as many as THREE WAYS to break that hold, so the next thing on the agenda is getting the tag team titles.

Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood v. Bill White & Frank Monte

Poor Monte quickly gets double-teamed by the babyfaces and hit with a double chop, and Steamboat slams him and works on the arm. Over to Youngblood for some chops and they keep switching off and going after the arm. Steamboat with a legsweep for two and Youngblood comes in with the assisted dropkick for two. Suplex gets two. And Steamboat slingshots Youngblood onto Monte to finish at 2:15.

One Man Gang v. Ron Ritchie

As if Gang’s gear in Mid-South wasn’t weird enough, here he’s rocking a red bodysuit, which just looks off-putting. Gang with a bearhug and he beats on Ron in the corner while Oliver Humperdink talks about his New Year’s resolution being “getting rid of all the panty waste wrestlers around the territory” and making it back into a “He-Man sport again.” Meanwhile Gang continues beating on Ritchie and goes to a bearhug, and then no-sells all of Ron’s shoulderblock attempts before finishing him off with a running powerslam at 2:45.

Oliver Humperdink continues his promo with Bob, predicting that 1983 will be the year of Humperdink. That’s what we all called it at the time!

Dory Funk Jr. v. Mark Fleming

Man we’re just flying through the matches this week. This is like Vince Russo booking compared to the usual pacing. I chalk it up to Tommy Young being the referee this week and keeping everyone moving. Funk takes Fleming down and works on a headlock before hitting him with forearms in the corner and tossing him to the floor. Suplex back into the ring and Funk takes him down with a small package for one and Funk works the count, really fighting to get the shoulders down. I always love little touches like that. Gut wrench gets two. Fleming fights back and Funk just blasts him down with a forearm again and follows with a legsweep for two. Double arm suplex sets up the spinning toehold and Fleming gives up at 3:55.

Dory Funk joins Bob and he’s pretty sure there’s a conspiracy against him because he’s richer and better than everyone else in the territory and they’re all trying to get rid of him.

Sweet Brown Sugar v. Ken Timbs

Sugar hits him with a dropkick and works the arm, then goes to a headscissors and takes Timbs down with a monkey flip. Timbs drops a knee on him for two, but he tries to ram Sugar into the turnbuckle but he’s black so is unable to be affected due to science. So Sugar gets a gut wrench slam for two, and Timbs tries to punch him in the head but that just hurts his hand. Man I’m learning so much about genetics. Sugar hits him with a biel out of the corner and a flying headscissors into a rollup to finish at 3:52. That looked kinda botchy but I’ll allow it based on degree of difficulty.

Sweet Brown Sugar joins Bob and being that he’s young, gifted, and black, that adds up to Dory Funk being broke and WHOOPED when all is said and done. Also Jack Brisco is ready for the House of Humperdink, specifically Jos LeDuc. And Roddy Piper also joins us as his face is healing nicely after getting it rubbed in the concrete by Ric Flair, and now he’s gotta be a nice boy or risk suspension. So he sums it up by saying we’ll have to find out if the going up is worth the coming down.

Jack Brisco v. Joe Lauren

Caudle notes that this Lauren kid is a big strong looking guy, really powerful. Yeah like some kind of, I dunno, animal. His look is kind of boring, though. Maybe he should try shaving his hair into a mohawk or something. Brisco slams him and gets a chinlock, but Lauren goes to a bearhug and Brisco has to fight out of that but he’s selling the back. So Joe puts him down with a back elbow for two. But then he tries another slam and Brisco rolls through for the pin at 3:11. Brisco gave his kid a TON here. Hopefully he goes elsewhere to get more experience, like a real road warrior.

Cowboy Bob Orton v. Masa Fuchi

Orton takes him to the mat with a double-leg, but Fuchi reverses him to a headlock and they trade off that for a bit. But then Orton gets a backbreaker and finishes with a pump splash at 2:33.

Jack Brisco talks about squeaking out a win over this young Lauren kid, who he sees big things ahead for. But moving on, he knows Paul Jones can’t get the job done anymore so now Humperdink is sicking all kinds of big fat heels on him trying to come after his Mid-Atlantic title. And then Bob Orton adds that Masa Fuchi nearly got a few good shots on him, because Oriental wrestlers are tough and sneaky and you have to watch out for them. I’m learning so much on this episode.

Meanwhile, in Florida, Oliver Humperdink’s next foe for Jack Brisco is BRUISER BRODY. So yeah we get tape of him destroying some goober and kicking him repeatedly in the face before dropping a knee for the pin.

Greg Valentine v. Porkchop Cash

They fight for the lockup to start and Cash grabs a headlock and then takes Greg down and works the arm. Valentine takes him down with a rollup for one and Tommy Young does the classic bit where he slides out of the ring to count the pin from the apron. So Valentine beats on him in the corner with some clubbing forearms and takes him down before working on the arm himself. Cash fights back with his own clubbing forearms and they slug it out in the corner, but Valentine puts him down with a back elbow and goes back to beating on the arm again. Cash tries a hiptoss, but Valentine counters into an abdominal stretch because of Cash’s injured arm, and then legsweeps him to finish at 7:10. This was a good match with a clever finish!

Greg Valentine joins us and wants to be known as “The Man of 1000 Holds” from now on. I think that one’s taken. Also Dory Funk Jr has words for “Stymie and Buckwheat”, which are apparently his pet names for Ernie Shavers and Sweet Brown Sugar. And finally Don Kernodle notes that it’s a miracle that Jay Youngblood is back, but he’ll be happy to end his career again. But then Roddy Piper casually strolls into the studio while the heels are doing their interviews, and Piper doesn’t want any trouble but wants to show that he can come out and behave. So Valentine calls him a PUNK and gets in his face, so Piper cold cocks him and walks off while the heels all scream bloody murder.

And we’re done for another week! Nothing actually seasonally appropriate on this show but a tremendous hour of wrestling nonetheless!