The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 05.10.86

The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 05.10.86

Almost done with this show, with only one episode left on the Network, and then we can move onto something different.

Taped from South Carolina

Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Johnny Weaver

BREAKING NEWS: Baby Doll has been seriously injured by the Midnight Express, which you would think would write her out of the show for a while but in fact just sent her into the arms of the Warlord instead. Which I guess is just as bad.

Arn Anderson joins us to start, and Baby Doll has no bearing on his life, but as always anyone who gets into the business of the Horsemen gets hurt.

World Junior champion Denny Brown v. Gene Ligon

Oh my god, that Junior title here looks like something you’d win as a joke prize for a bowling tournament. They trade takedowns and Denny works on the arm and dodges a crossbody attempt, then finishes with a butterfly suplex and an Oklahoma roll at 1:30.

OK, enough of this wrestling stuff, back to Baby Doll. So we pick things up on Worldwide with the Midnight Express challenging Dusty Rhodes to a fight, and of course Dusty answers and beats up all three guys alone until Condrey knocks him out with the tennis racket. And Baby Doll wants to stick her nose into the Midnights’ business, so they hit her with the racket as well, RIGHT IN THE BABYMAKER, and she’s so brutally messed up by this shot that she thinks managing the Warlord is actually a good idea. The Midnights then do a hilarious promo from the podium about how wrestling is no place for a woman and not even a place for some men, just laughing uproariously at their own skullduggery while the babyfaces try to get medical help for Baby Doll.

Dusty Rhodes & Magnum TA join us back on the show this week, and Dusty admits that yeah, Baby Doll used to be kind of a monstrous witch for a while before he straightened her out, but no one deserves to be smashed in the uterus with a tennis racket. I dunno, has he been to Texas lately? They’ll be calling that a medical treatment before too long.

Manny Fernandez & Hector Guerrero v. The Golden Terror & Tony Zane

Fernandez takes out both jobbers with a double crossbody and then hits the Terror with the Flying Burrito to finish at 1:24. The graphic for the team declares “SUPER BURRITO!!!” afterwards, which is just 10/10, no notes.

Ric Flair joins us after apparently doing too much coke and having a mirror talk to him. But more importantly, Ricky Morton doesn’t have the guts to show up and challenge him because HE’S TOO UGLY now and doesn’t want to face his fans. Onto Baby Doll, as Flair points out that the women in his life like to be dominated because it’s a man’s world.

Nikita Koloff v. David Dillinger

Nikita hits him with the Sickle and then puts him out with a cobra clutch of all things at 0:50. Interesting that he never pursued that as a finish afterwards.

Ronnie Garvin joins us and accuses Tully and Arn of “hiding in the closet” and not defending their titles. All because they’re a bunch of crying babies about Ronnie taping his hands! It’s just tape! And of course he has to talk about Dusty Rhodes and that angle. Beating on a woman is NOT OKAY, notes Ronnie. To be fair Baby Doll was bigger than both members of the Midnight Express.

The Russians join us and Ivan does the promo while Nikita poses like a maniac, and we get footage of a Russian chain match between Magnum and Nikita. But now that Magnum has shown he’s a tough guy, the Kremlin has conceded to serious negotiations for that US title match. BUT WHAT ABOUT BABY DOLL?!?

Wahoo McDaniel v. Mike Simiani

Wahoo with the chops to finish at 0:48.

Tully Blanchard joins us, and he’s expanding into farming equipment, it seems. So apparently they’re going to be marketing the Ricky Morton Plow, which is Tully holding one foot, Arn holding the other foot, and then using Ricky’s face to plow the concrete. OK I laughed. Tully admits that breaking body parts is all just part of their intimidation plan, which seems to be working thus far.

Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin v. Bill Mulkey

Precious is thankfully back from staking out the reservation last week, giving Garvin a pep in his step again. Garvin with a backdrop and brainbuster to finish at 0:38.

Wahoo McDaniel is now looking for Arn Anderson and his TV title.

World TV title: Arn Anderson v. Rocky King

Arn works a headlock to start, but Rocky dropkicks him before walking into a right hand to block a backdrop. And Arn finishes him with the Gourdbuster at 1:15.

Ronnie Garvin joins us again and he calls the Horsemen DOGS, and if they don’t like it they can come say things to his face.

Paul Jones joins us, and Shaska Whatley isn’t here this week, but Jimmy Valiant will still end up as a bald headed geek. Jones sounded completely drunk off his ass here and could barely string together the promo.

The Barbarian v. Mike Starr

Barbarian with a big boot and one-handed slam, which allows Baron to get some shots on Starr from the outside. Back in, Barbarian puts the boots to Starr and drops an elbow on him while Starr convulses. So Barbarian goes to a chinlock and THIS boring squash is the match that actually gets more than a minute of airtime this week? Flying headbutt gets the pin at 6:24.

And finally, Jimmy Garvin comments on Baby Doll and notes that wrestling is no place for a woman. But Precious is a LADY so she doesn’t count. Also he talks about hair care tips and spraying the air to combat smelly and dirty wrestling fans, going a mile a minute like he’s on, I dunno, some kind of illicit substance that acts as a stimulant. I’m sure it’s nothing though.

I sure didn’t think Baby Doll getting hit in the stomach was a major angle, but apparently we had to literally hear every person in the promotion comment on it this week just in case.

Next time: The final episode of Mid-Atlantic as they retire that brand!