The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S1E34

The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground – S1E34

“Gold and Guerreros”

Can you believe it’s been more than a year since I reviewed this show?

The build towards the Ultimo Lucha finale continues!

Taped from the Aztec Temple

Your hosts are Matt Striker & Vampiro

Meanwhile, Chavo meets up with Dario Cueto, who tries to screw him over, but then quips that he was only joking and offers up a title match with Prince Puma instead. And if Konnan (and his cane) interferes, Chavo wins the title.

Delavar Daivari v. El Texano

Daivari has added Big Rick to his entourage of mercenaries. Texano continues to look impressive in his role here and I’m surprised he never got a serious look outside of Mexico afterwards. Daivari runs away from a fight to start and hides behind Rick, but Texano slugs him down in the corner and hits a slingshot senton for two. Daivari clips the knee and goes to work on it with a kneedrop for two and into a figure-four, but Texano reverses it for the break. Daivari dropkicks the knee in the corner, doing a very slow WWE style TV match and working the body part, but Texano fights back with a missile dropkick for a double down. Texano with a Rough Ryder and he makes the comeback, but Daivari hits a facejam for two. Big Rick gets involved, but that backfires and Texano powerbombs Daivari for the pin at 6:16. Just a match. **

Meanwhile, Konnan motivates Prince Puma while he’s working out, but Catrina has words of warning from Mil Muertes.

Hernandez v. Drago

Hernandez tries to throw Drago around, but Drago hits him with an enzuigiri and follows with a missile dropkick and senton to set up a short dropkick as Vampiro questions Striker’s claims of Drago holding “20 major championships” over his career. “Tell me one! I’m not talking about a hot dog eating contest at the fair.” Maybe he should have been on that Netflix show. Hernandez goes to a chinlock and puts him down with a backbreaker for two. Drago fights back with kicks in the corner and takes Hernandez off the top with a rana for two. Superkick puts Hernandez on the floor and Drago follows with a tope con hilo and then springboards off the ropes with a dive to put him down again. Hernandez drops him with a Border Toss on the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING and then steals a belt from some jerk at ringside and whips Drago with it. So the ref calls for a DQ at 6:45 and Drago gets a cheap win. That’s pretty rare for this show, actually. Match was pretty fun but didn’t end up going anywhere. **1/2. Afterwards, Hernandez informs us that DRAGONS ARE NOT REAL. Well someone better tell Bryan Danielson.

Meanwhile, Catrina is all spooky and informs Chavo in advance that Mil is gonna destroy him if he wins the title tonight. Well that’s considerate.

Marty the Moth Martinez v. Alberto El Patron

Marty was basically a character who was a fanboy groupie of the show, and an annoyed Dario threw him into the ring aa a wrestler to hopefully dissuade him. Alberto kicks his ass and puts him away with the armbar at 1:00. Alberto remains a giant babyface in Lucha Underground despite being a giant piece of shit in real life. So he calls out Johnny Mundo, and thanks him for putting him through Dario’s office window and waking up the evil side of him. It’s the evil and sadistic side of him that’s coming for Johnny. Well you just have to ask some of his ex-girlfriends about that. I’m sure they can share all too many details. Patron at least was a MUCH better and more passionate promo here than his bored and checked out WWE runs.

Lucha Underground title: Prince Puma v. Chavo Guerrero

Vampiro questions the whereabouts of Bael, which is somewhat weird because it assumes that he doesn’t watch the show, since Bael was presumed murdered by the shadowy evil brother of Dario Cueto a few episodes back. Like when this show wrote you out, you were WRITTEN OUT. This is no DQ, but if Konnan interferes, then Chavo wins the title. So when Prince Puma left this show, did all the Lucha Underground fans turn on him and post bad faith attacks on Twitter at the time, too? I can’t remember. Chavo stalls and confers with Mr. Cisco & Cortez Castro outside, but Puma works the arm in the ring. So the Crew just comes in and attacks Puma while Chavo sells a knee injury that seems sus, and Konnan is of course helpless to do anything. Puma fights back, but falls victim to a pretty wicked double stomp/DDT combo from the Crew, and they literally hold him down while Chavo goes up for the frog splash. But then Konnan calls out Texano to help and he destroys the heels by himself to save Puma, who hits the 630 to finish and retain at 5:00. Vampiro maintaining character and cheering for Chavo in order to spite Konnan was a great touch, but there was NOTHING to this match. *. Puma didn’t even do very much flippy stuff! I’ve heard he loves to do flippy stuff.

And we finish in the dressing room, with Chavo nursing his injury, but Blue Demon confronts him and Chavo lips him off and calls him a has been that the Mexican fans have forsaken for Texano. Demon doesn’t handle that well and seems ready to go murder Texano to show Chavo that he’s wrong, and of course that’s exactly what Chavo wants.

I generally enjoy this show when I drop in every few months, although this was a weaker episode that was strictly filler. But every time I promise myself that I’m gonna power through the last few episodes and finish up the season! Honest!