The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 08.05.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 08.05.91

And now it’s time for the tag team title tournament!

Taped from the GLOBALDOME in Dallas, TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

So yes, the Global booking committee out of Barcelona Spain has decreed that tag team champions must be crowned because whoever the fake champions used to be have vacated the titles due to being fake and unable to defend them.

Rip Rogers & Makhan Singh join Joe Pedicino and introduce their newest Cartel member to join them for the tag team tournament…CACTUS JACK.

Tag team title tournament round one: Makhan Singh & Cactus Jack v. Dapper Dan & Rick Gonzalez

Jack was a pretty hot property on the indie scene coming off his WCW run in 1990 so this was a legit big get for GWF. Makhan quickly crushes Gonzalez with a legdrop and brings Jack in for a flying forearm that gets two. Jack goes to a facelock while Johnson explains the tragic tale of the English Lords, who were the Global tag team champions and had a fatal car accident on the Autobahn, costing them not only their titles, but their lives. But most importantly their titles. Jack puts the boots to Gonzalez while we all take a minute to remember out favorite memories of the English Lords, but the American Breed comes back with a double dropkick. But then Dapper Dan comes in and Jack immediately sends him to the floor with a Cactus clothesline as Dan is not looking so dapper. Makhan busts out a DROPKICK as they’ve got their working boots on tonight, and Jack gets the double arm DDT for two but picks up Dapper Dan. Jack slugs away in the corner and bulldogs him, so Dan wisely tags out to Gonzalez again. And Makhan immediately powerslams him to cut off any comeback, and Jack adds a legsweep for one. Back to Dapper Dan and the Cartel tosses him to the floor, setting up a Cactus Elbow from the apron. Back in and Makhan hits the Karachi Krunch to finish at 7:10 and advance to the next round. YEAH. Cactus Jack was like a goddamn force of nature in 1991 and WCW were stupid to let him go. This was a GREAT squash and a very entertaining start to the tournament.

The Dirty Davis Brothers v. Firecat & Gran Coloso

Apparently Mike Davis had a brother, Tom, who he had not mentioned until just now. Convenient. It’s actually Tom Burton in case you’re curious. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say Firecat is Brady Boone trying to avoid the WWF legal machine while doing his Battle Kat gimmick. He controls the Davis brothers with armdrags and then does a backflip just in case we hadn’t figured out who it was by now. Over to Coloso, who hits the Davis Brothers with a double headscissors, and Firecat takes Mike down with a drop toehold into an armbar. Why the heck didn’t they book this guy for the last tournament? Tom Davis comes in and cuts off Firecat with a double arm suplex and the Davis family double-teams him in the corner. Mike comes in with a slam and fistdrop, but Firecat comes back with a snap suplex before Davis boots him down from behind for two. Mike tries an atomic drop and Firecat reverses into a rolling cradle for two, but Tom makes the save. Back to Tom with a slam for two. Firecat fires back with a flying elbow and makes the hot tag to Coloso and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but Coloso tries a rollup on Tom, and Mike clotheslines them over for the pin at 5:45 to advance. Firecat was carrying this thing on his back and it was another entertaining tournament match.

THE NEWSROOM! WITH JOE PEDICINO!

Cactus Jack is part of the Cartel, but we still don’t know who the Boss is. Also in the WCW, Lex Luger has gone BAD and is disappointing his fans.

Boni Blackstone interviews a kid who wants to know where the Royal Family has been for the last six months. ME TOO.

Wild Bill Irwin & Johnny Ace v. Jeff Gaylord & The Blue Avenger

The Avenger is subbing for Action Jackson, who broke up with Jeff Gaylord on the other show. Shit, I’m gonna have to check with my bookie to see how that affects the betting line now. Also I’m pretty sure physics dictates that for every Action Jackson, there’s an Equal and Opposite Reaction Jackson, so Gaylord just needs to find him. Ace with a pair of clotheslines for two, but Gaylord hits him with a back suplex while the announcers talk about how Johnny has been off in Japan working with Kenta Kobashi. And now he gets to face THE BLUE AVENGER in the Sportatorium. Wild Bill comes in and grabs a headlock on Gaylord while Hudson points out that Irwin has been part of quite of a few successful tag teams and all his most notable partners died. Fun facts! Avenger comes in and Ace hits him with a double underhook suplex for two and goes to the abdominal stretch and then turns into a pumphandle slam for two. Back to Wild Bill, and apparently he’s very touchy these days about being asked about the Goon, despite the fact that his podcast is named after the Goon and he wears his Goon gear while doing the show. Back to Gaylord and he gets some suplexes on Irwin as this continues meandering to nowhere. Ace & Irwin double-team Gaylord, but he hits Irwin with an awkward clothesline and it’s back to the Blue Avenger. But then he screws up a simple whip to the buckles and Ace has had enough and finishes him with a Fame-Acer at 9:00. Woof. Well that broke up the string of good matches to start this tournament. Gaylord didn’t seem interested in selling anything and I don’t even know what the Avenger was doing out there.

Wet N Wild joins Joe and does a promo that sounds suspiciously like they stole their act from the Outrunners.

The Royal Family joins Boni and they were sick of kissing babies so they’re gonna beat up referees from now on.

Randy Rhodes & Quick Rick v. Brian Adias & Eric Fontaine

This was Adias quietly exiting the wrestling business, which is weird because he still looked fine at this point but obviously didn’t care anymore. Adias controls Quick Rick Garren to start and it’s over to Rhodes, so Fontaine comes in and takes him down with a rana out of the corner. Back to Quick Rick, but Fontaine suplexes him for two. Adias comes in with one last hot tag and beats on Rick in the corner, but then Fontaine comes in for the brawl and turns on his partner, while Rhodes turns on his partner, and they each pin their own partners and it’s a no-contest at 5:31 as apparently Fontaine has joined up with Rhodes now as part of the Christopher Love stable. Well that was a stupid finish.

Scott Hudson notes that the tournament can only get better from here! Quoted for truth. Firecat and Cactus Jack in particular are worth checking out from this episode and the rest…not so much.