The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.17.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.17.91

Let’s see how little content THIS episode can pack into an hour. I’m betting I get through it in 14 minutes this time.

Taped from the Globaldome in Dallas, TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

This week, it’s the SEMI-FINALS of the TV title tournament. So we’ve got…

The Patriot v. Billy Black

Makhan Singh v. Chris Walker

Buddy Landel v. Exotic Adrian Street

And then they flip a coin to see who gets a bye to the finals.

This time the recap of the tournament takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES.

TV Title tournament semi-finals: Billy Black v. The Patriot

Once again, a reminder that Billy is currently the Georgia National TV champion, the most prestigious of all Georgia National titles. Patriot gets some hiptosses to start as Black retreats to the corner, and Patriot hits him with a facejam for two. Patriot works a headlock and takes Black down with an armdrag before going to work on the arm. Scott notes that you’ll see Patriot all over the towns doing community service work at hospitals and old folks homes. Wait, so he’s running around convalescent homes wearing his mask? That seems a little risky. Some of those old codgers are PACKING. Also how do you know it’s him if he’s wearing a mask? Maybe he just lends out the gimmick to some bitter loser and has him do the appearances. Never mind, we all know the Patriot would never stoop to that. Black tosses Patriot to cut him off and follows with a pretty crazy dive for 1991, hitting him all the way onto the interview platform, but then Patriot hauls Black in and sends him flying back into the ring as Black is just bumping like crazy here. Patriot goes to a chinlock, but Black fights out, so Patriot ducks a clothesline and hits him with a flying shoulderblock to finish at 7:30. Black was GAME here and did a great job with Patriot. ***

Chris Walker joins Craig and discusses how he used to be a fan of Norman but doesn’t understand what he’s become now.

TV Title tournament semi-finals: Chris Walker v. Makhan Singh

We get a posedown to start, which is at least the one thing Walker can do well. So they trade full nelson attempts and Walker reverses a bearhug and complains to the ref as this is just all ga-ga. So now the announcers retcon the Norman character completely, accusing Makhan of just faking the whole “insane asylum” deal and scamming the fans. That’s a hell of a long con. More ga-ga as Makhan bails and complains some more, and then back in for a cheapshot to take over as the announcers bring up the mysterious Boss again. Is it Andre? Ray Traylor? We’ll find out at some point I hope. Makhan bites him and chokes him out on the ropes. To the floor, but Walker makes a comeback in the ring with a dropkick, but Singh uses his turban to choke him out and hangs him over the top rope for the DQ at 8:49. So Walker goes to the finals for god knows what reason. This was ATROCIOUS. -**. I don’t really understand the play here. Clearly the booking should be Patriot having to beat two heels to win the title and instead it’s gonna be a heel going over Walker and then losing to Patriot it seems like.

News Update: The announcers explain the complicated coin flip rules to determine the final finalists.

Boni Blackstone asks a kid for a question to ask Patriot, and the girl wants to know what the Patriot’s hometown is. HE’S FROM EVERY TOWN IN THE USA, YOU STUPID KID. Even Boni points out that we already know the answer but promises to ask it anyway. I’m glad I’m at least a good enough parent to keep my child from going on national TV and asking stupid questions like that. SHAME. I hope her parents disown her and send her to an orphanage. A bad one, like in Pink Floyd songs.

TV Title tournament semi-finals: Buddy Landel v. Adrian Street

Unsurprisingly we get more prancing and mincing from Street before taking Buddy down with a horse collar hold and a bridging toehold. Buddy slugs back to take over while the announcers note that he just barely missed the 1984 Olympics…TV program. Street uppercuts him for two. Buddy hides in the ropes and trips up Street for the pin in the ropes at 5:25. Street was trying some stuff and Buddy was just interested in doing his Memphis stalling and this was NO GOOD. ½*

Buddy Landel joins Scott Hudson about how Sean Connery calls him for advice on the ladies. He doesn’t care who he targets, he just wants money.

The Patriot joins Boni, and his hometown is any town where they wave the red white and blue, and live and die for the American way. So definitely not California I guess.

MAIN EVENT COIN FLIP: All three guys in the finals get a coin, and everyone flips, with whoever is the odd man out advancing to the final finals. What if they all flip the same thing? Luckily the promotion still has enough funding to produce 3 quarters for them to flip at this point. So they flip the coins and Buddy tries to cheat because you can take the man out of Memphis but can’t take the Memphis out of the man. And indeed, they all throw heads, so we have to do it again. Buddy isn’t feeling the coin flip atmosphere, but he gets talked into doing it again and in the least surprising twist of the tournament, he wins the flip and advances to the finals, facing the winner of Chris Walker v. Patriot for the title.

I don’t get the booking here at all. I would have 100% put Makhan Singh in the finals instead of Walker and had him brutalize the Patriot so that cowardly Buddy could work on the injury and then lose in the end. Also pushing Buddy all the way to finals when clearly he does not give a single shit and literally does promos on the show TELLING US that he’s just here for the payday is also baffling. Anyway, not the worst tournament I’ve ever seen so far, but that Walker match was definitely one of the worst I’ve seen in a while.