The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.10.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.10.91

Geez, we’re still in the FIRST WEEK for this show.

I know people have said I should review the commercials included on these as well. We’ll see.

Taped from the GLOBAL DOME in Dallas, TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

Once again, the first 10 minutes are a recap of the tournament thus far.

Buddy Landel joins us, disgusted by armchair critics. Throw the green down and he’ll sell some tickets, daddy! But first he’ll spend it on blow, although that’s more assumed.

TV title tournament round one: Axl Rotten v. Exotic Adrian Street

It’s the BATTLE OF BRITAIN to start us out this week. Also Axl is already the Commonwealth champion, and Hudson questions who Axl is defending that title against. Adrian works the arm while the announcers discuss Axl’s history of getting kicked off soccer teams due to excessive violence. He’s sure not showing it here. Street with a chinlock, but Axl fights out of that and they trade forearms in the corner, but Axl pulls out a gimmick and knocks Street out for the pin.at 5:00. BUT WAIT! The referee finds the object and reverses the decision, sending Street to the second round. A thrilling opener. *

TV title tournament round one: RASTA THE VOODOO MON v. Jeff Gaylord

This leads to serious questions about whether WWF ripped off this character for Papa Shango. Huge if true. The Voodoo Mon does some posing with his VOODOO STICK but gets overpowered by Gaylord, who don’t forget is the favorite wrestler of that little kid from last week’s show. Gaylord with a bodpress for two, but Rasta throws him to the floor on the kickout. So we get more posing and Gaylord ends up on the floor again. Another bodypress from Gaylord gets one and we get more stalling and posing before Gaylord goes to a headlock. So the psychology of the match is that Rasta apparently cursed Gaylord’s shoulder, despite GWF officials declaring that NO BLACK MAGIC will be used during the match. Really curious how you legislate that kind of thing. Now it’s time for the Voodoo Mon to apply a headlock and then beat Gaylord down with forearms to take over. Rasta with a legdrop, as he’s got the articulation of a 60s GI Joe figure and about as much charisma. Gaylord comes back with yet another bodypress and Rasta throws him to the floor for the third time as they’ve apparently only got one spot worked out. Back in the ring, Rasta chokes him out on the ropes and drops an elbow, but Gaylord makes a fired up comeback, but he charges and hits the shoulder on the turnbuckle and gets pinned at 10:41. This lived up to everything you’d expect and less. Absolutely atrocious on every level. -***. Also why didn’t the referee reverse the decision for use of black magic?

TV title tournament round one: Big Bully Busick v. Jimmy James

James gets some generic babyface offense on Busick, so the Bully does a takedown on the ref out of frustration. James tries…something…and Busick apparently armdrags him to reverse it? Busick with a chinlock and he pounds away on the ropes and then clotheslines James to the floor. Back in the ring, Bully finishes him with the heart punch at 5:40. I don’t really get what Busick was doing with the character at this point. I think he got a better handle on it once he got to the WWF but he was pretty much done by then anyway. Just a squash basically. ½*

Makhan Singh joins Boni and he was basically sick of being a nice guy.

Buddy Landel v. Gary Young

We get some Memphis stalling from Buddy as he claims hair-pulling and eye-poking and closed fists or whatever, and then hits Young with chops before Gary makes a comeback and clotheslines him to the floor. Back in the ring , the announcers declare that SWS in Japan is a “subsidiary” of the Global Wrestling Federation, which is quite the line to deliver with a straight face. They slug it out in the corner while the announcers then claim that Buddy v. Gary Young could sell out “any arena in the country”, which leads one to wonder why they’re not putting it in a bigger arena than the glorified barn that was the Sportatorium. Buddy does more cheating and takes over with the armbar. Young makes a comeback with a neckbreaker for two, but Buddy rolls through a bodypress and gets the pin with his feet on the ropes at 7:30. I dunno, this was a pretty normal wrestling match. **

The Patriot chats with the announcers to wrap things up, and he represents all the hard working people of America.

Next time: We start the second round of the TV title tournament! I like the chances of Rasta the Voodoo Mon to keep advancing, as long as no one develops some kind of black magic antidote.