The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.18.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.18.24

“Holiday Bash”

So Collision finally comes to Canada on the new USA Network that launches January 1 up here in place of Discovery Channel, because Canadian TV is weird.

The guide description on TSN is very interesting, as all the names are in quotation marks, so the summary reads like “Shelton Benjamin” faces “The Beast Mortos” as if The Beast Mortos wasn’t actually his real name.

Live from Washington, DC, in a nice brightly lit 3000 seat arena filled with hot fans. Talk about an upgrade in optics over recent months of dark caves and dead crowds.

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Daddy Magic

Meanwhile, Orange Cassidy and Jay White, Team Creamsicle, discuss focus on the Death Riders tonight as opposed to the AEW World title at the PPV. And Jay has no Bang Bang Gang, so he’s got to rely on Hangman Page instead, and Page specializes in letting everyone down. So then Hangman walks in and Jay pretends to be all excited to see him and then talks shit about him on the way out. I’m sure they’re fine.

Meanwhile, Will Ospreay is ready for war with Darby.

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Anna Jay

They trade takedowns to start and Anna slaps her in the corner, so Mercedes hits the Three Amigos, but goes up and misses a frog splash. Anna with a neckbreaker for two off that. Mone with a double knees for two and we take a break. Back with Mercedes missing a blind charge, and Anna hits a Blockbuster for two. Anna hits her with running leg lariats in the corner and an Iconoclasm into a Gory Bomb, which gets two. Mone retreats to the apron and Anna hauls her in with the choke, but Mercedes cheats to escape. Anna tries it again and Mone goes to the Statement, but Anna makes the ropes and runs her into the corner to block the Moneymaker. Sunset flip gets two. Mone with a sunset bomb and double knees, however, and Moneymaker finishes at 10:07 to retain. They had really good chemistry! ***1/2

Meanwhile, FTR reflects on what happened to them at the end of Collision, which was apparently in the last 8 seconds of the show and I had to go back and watch just to realize it was there. Anyway they’re gonna be here on January 1 for a fight and they’re not coming alone.

MJF joins us to insult Washington and their basketball team, and celebrate Hannukah. Next up, MJF’s new charity, which will put the small yellow skinny Adam Cole baby out of his misery. But then Adam pops up on the screen and announces that the Kingdom is going to be in his corner to protect him, and then shows up in the ring and lays MJF out. Of all the feuds they could actually remember to follow up on every week, why THIS one? I presume the Kingdom turns on Cole and joins with MJF because that’s the laziest option for the finish.

Meanwhile, Kenny Omega returns! On a show in Japan. I don’t really get the strategy there.

Hook & Shibata v. Nick Wayne & Christian Cage

Hook and Nick trade takedowns, and it’s over to Christian and Shibata, as Shibata threatens a kick and Cage backs off. Shibata beats him down with chops for two and brings Wayne back in, but Hook backdrops Cage onto him outside. Back in, Hook goes for Redrum on Wayne, but Christian gets a cheapshot behind the ref’s back and we take a break. Back with Wayne in control, but Shibata gets a hot tag and destroys poor Nick Wayne with chops and the corner dropkick. Suplex gets two. Wayne fights back and regrets that, as Shibata takes him down with an STO but gets tripped up by Christian. So Hook takes care of Christian while Shibata counters the Wayne’s World into a choke, and then Christian returns one more time and hits the Killswitch on Shibata, putting Wayne on top for the pin at 12:00. This one took a while to get going but the crowd was really into it by the end. **1/2

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho is the KING OF NEW YORK.

Meanwhile, Harley Cameron sings us a song about the 12 Days of AEW Shop deals. More Harley, please!

Meanwhile, Mariah May won’t be bringing her father to World’s End for the street fight with Thunder Rosa. Good to know.

Ricochet joins Tony in the ring, but the Hurt Syndicate quickly interrupts. Ricochet tries to impress MVP with his six points, but NOBODY LIKES A KISS ASS and so the offer is rescinded and Ricochet gets sent on his way.

Continental Classic Blue League: The Beast Mortos v. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton quickly tosses the Beast with a suplex, but Mortos comes back with a tijeras and reverses a hiptoss attempt into a half crab. Mortos tries to ropewalk but Shelton crotches him and we take a break. Back with Mortos getting a cradle for two, and a powerslam for two as the crowd is deeply into the Beast. Mortos goes up with a senton for two, but Shelton powerslams him and Mortos pops up and no-sells it. So Shelton hits him with a superkick and drops him with german suplexes before hitting a knee strike in the corner. But Mortos won’t go down, so Shelton hits him with another one and finishes with the powerslam exploder at 9:19. Mortos was GREAT here, as they threw each other around had a hoss fight. ***. Afterwards, MVP wants to see more out of Shelton, so he continues the beatdown until Daniel Garcia & Mark Briscoe save.

Meanwhile, Ricochet is kind of confused about what happened out there, but Swerve Strickland stops by and notes that the “real Trevor” is coming out again. And the real Trevor is an annoying whiny heel apparently.

Meanwhile, Toni Storm sits down with RJ City to discuss her new career here in AEW, which is just beginning.

Continental Classic Gold League: Will Ospreay v. Darby Allin

Stalemate to start, but Ospreay sends him to the floor, missing a dive and allowing Darby to hit his tope suicida. Back in the ring, Darby tries the coffin drop early but misses and lands on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, bouncing off the corner as we take a break. Back with Darby flipping into the stunner, but Ospreay reverses a Code Red and lands in a Hidden Blade, but then Darby pops up and hits the Code Red out of the Stormbreaker for two in an incredible sequence. They slug it out and Darby gets a cradle for two, but Will tries the Ozcutter and Darby counters with the Coffin drop for two. Ospreay bails to the apron and Darby goes up to follow him, but Will brings him down for Styles Clash from the apron to the floor, which sounds like a terrifying bump but actually came off as totally safe. Crowd thinks he killed Darby regardless. Back in, the Ozcutter gets two. Stormbreaker is reversed into a Scorpion Deathdrop and he goes up with a Coffin Drop to the back and then goes up a second time and finishes with another Coffin Drop at 14:47. Will Ospreay just can’t not have awesome matches. ****1/2. Now THAT’S what I want from AEW! The reversals in this one were crazy and Ospreay was more than happy to work at Darby’s speed and let him take his bumps. If you want one must-see match from this show, that’s it.

The Death Riders v. Jay White, Orange Cassidy and Hangman Page

Orange and Wheeler slug it out to start, but Mox goes to the throat and tries for a piledriver. Orange fights out of that, but White walks away from the tag, so Hangman comes in instead and runs wild. Hangman gets too close to Marina and Yuta is all offended, but Hangman hits him with a lariat and demands satisfaction from Moxley. Jay White tags himself in, so a disgusted Page walks out on the match and the Death Riders go to work. We take a break and return with White fighting back on Yuta, but Pac comes in and lays him out with a cutter. White fights back again with a german suplex on Pac and sleeper suplex on Moxley, and it’s hot tag Orange. He comes in with the flying DDT and puts the boots to Moxley, but it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as everyone trades big moves. Mox goes to finish Orange, but he reverses out, and Hangman returns to set up for a Buckshot on Moxley. But Orange takes out Moxley with the Orange Punch, so Hangman takes it out on Yuta instead, and Moxley rolls up Orange and pins him at 12:05 while Hangman bickers with White. So once again the babyfaces can’t get their shit together and thus can’t beat Moxley.

Next week: A shitload of C2 matches on Christmas night, apparently. I don’t know that I’m gonna be watching any wrestling shows on Christmas, to be honest.

A couple of weak spots in the middle but the women’s match was pretty great and the entire last hour ROCKED so this is a thumbs up from me.