The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.11.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.11.24

“WINTER IS COMING”

Oh shit if winter isn’t here yet then what the hell is all that snow doing outside my house for the past two weeks?

Live from Kansas City, MO

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

Pac & Jon Moxley v. Jay White & Orange Cassidy

The Orange & White Express attack to start and chase the Death Riders to the floor for a brawl out there, and back in for a backbreaker from White that gets two on Pac. Moxley comes in and they trade chops, with White winning that battle, but Orange tags himself in and Mox bails to evade the Orange Punch. But then Orange follows him out and gets dropped on the announce desk as a result. Back in the ring, Pac chokes him out while the Patriarchy watches from a skybox, and White is in again and runs wild on Pac. But then he stops to talk too much trash on Mox and Pac lays him out to take over. We take a break and return with the Death Riders working White over, and Pac gets two from that and puts Jay down with a spinkick. Moxley with a short arm clothesline for two, but White catches a kick from Pac and takes him down with a dragon screw. Hot tag Orange and he slugs it out with Moxley, setting up a PK and then a giant tornado DDT on Pac. Orange to the top and he fights off Moxley and follows with a diving DDT for two. Moxley tries a sleeper, but Orange fights out and hits another DDT, setting up White for a sleeper suplex on Pac. Beach Break on Moxley gets two. Orange takes out Yuta and Marina and hits the Orange Punch on Moxley, but he sets up for the kill and Hangman Page runs in for the DQ at 13:20. Well that one made sense at least. But then the babyfaces all turn on each other, until all three are laid out and blaming each other, and that means it’s time for another Death Rider beatdown. ***

Meanwhile, Bandido rides into a snowy town and beats up some angry cowboys. That was pretty cool.

Meanwhile, Jon Moxley is just fine with being a marked man, so he’s giving all three babyfaces an AEW World title match at World’s End.

Christian Cage does a promo on Kansas City from his skybox, promising to send Jon Moxley back to rehab when he cashes in the contract and wins the title, but before he can tell the city to go fuck themselves, Hook busts into the suite like a serial killer and destroys him and then runs away from the returning Patriarchy.

Continental Classic Gold League: Claudio Castagnoli v. Will Ospreay

Ospreay immediately smashes Claudio for two and then dumps him and hits a dive, and back in with a springboard elbow for two. Ozcutter is blocked by a forearm shot and Claudio goes for the Giant Swing, but Will reverses for two. They trade shots for a double down, but Claudio is up first and goes to work on the arm. They fight to the floor and Ospreay dropkicks the stairs into Claudio, but Claudio responds with a Giant Swing into the stairs, which looked painful. And then he ties up Will’s arm in the stairs and stomps it for more pain, but they fight back into the ring again. Ospreay tries a springboard and Claudio puts him down with a forearm from mid-air as we take a break. Back with Ospreay hitting a handspring kick, but Claudio goes back to the arm to cut him off. Will with a standing moonsault for two to set up the Hidden Blade, but Claudio blocks that. So Will puts him in an Octopus instead, with Excalibur channeling Gorilla Monsoon by noting that it’s not sunk in correctly. Claudio escapes that and slams Ospreay for two. They fight to the top and Ospreay sends him down, but misses the Sky Twister Press and Claudio hits him with an uppercut for two. They slug it out and Ospreay hits him with an Ozcutter and Claudio bails to the floor to escape a pin. Back in the ring, Ospreay tries the Hidden Blade and Claudio launches him with the uppercut for two. Lariat gets two. Neutralizer is reversed into a jackknife for the pin at 13:34, however, giving Will 6 points. ****. And then Darby Allin hits the ring to chase off Claudio, still wearing his stupid pink coat.

Meanwhile, Ricochet has a match with Brody King tonight, and he’s ready with an MVP card.

Meanwhile, MJF finally decides to show up for work after weeks away.

Meanwhile, Matt Cardona joins us in advance of his title match with Chris Jericho at the ROH PPV. And he throws out a challenge to Bryan Keith for Rampage to warm up.

Adam Cole v. Kyle O’Reilly

Winner of this gets MJF and a coupon for a proper tanning session. The Kingdom tries to make peace with Kyle before the match, but he’s still blaming them for letting Roderick Strong get hurt. They battle to a stalemate and fight to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cole hitting a superkick for a double down, but Kyle hits him with a knee strike to put him on the floor and then follows with a knee off the apron. Back in the ring, Kyle misses a flying knee but recovers with a striking combo, only for Cole to hit the Boom for another double down. Kyle is up first with a brainbuster into the armbar and then switches to the anklelock, but Cole makes the ropes. They fight to the top and Cole hits the Panama Sunrise, but Kyle rolls him into an anklelock while Cole is appealing to the fans. To the floor and Cole catches him with a superkick out there, and back in Kyle is apparently out cold. So MJF tries a run-in, but Cole takes him out and Kyle rolls up Cole for two. And then Cole rolls up Kyle for the pin at 11:25 to advance to the finals against MJF. God this storyline sucks. We’ve spent weeks on this circular path just to get back to Cole and MJF again, where MJF is obviously going to screw him out of the ring and hang onto it for another year. **1/4

Meanwhile, FTR needs a big match for Fight for the Fallen on January 1 so they can rebuild Asheville, and the Death Riders appear to be in their sights.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho has another New York Minute, where he accepts the challenge to Bryan Keith on his behalf.

Meanwhile, Kyle Fletcher continues to dominate the Continental Classic. Man, remember when he couldn’t win a match to save his life?

Meanwhile, Darby Allin sits down with Tony and punches himself in the mouth to draw blood, which apparently doesn’t bother him. But he’s still focused on taking down Jon Moxley on behalf of the young wrestlers in the promotion who don’t know better. If that’s still supposed to be the destination it’s not gonna work.

Continental Classic Gold League: Ricochet v. Brody King

Ricochet uses the speed and hits Brody with a kick from the apron, but Brody just bodies him and sends him to the floor. Ric springboards off the railing and tries a rana, but Brody powerbombs him on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and hits him with the crossbody into the railing as we take a break. Back with Brody hitting him with a german suplex for two. They trade shots and Ricochet sends him to the floor and follows with a dive to take him down, and back in with a springboard 450 for one. Brody mans up and hits a lariat for two. Ganso bomb is reversed to a rollup for two, but Brody hits him with a corner splash to put him down again. Brody with the cannonball for two off that. They fight to the top and Ricochet brings him down with a powerbomb and goes up again with a shooting star press, but Brody sits up like the Undertaker and goozles him. Brody with the sleeper off that, but Ricochet necks him on the top rope and rams his head into an exposed turnbuckle to put him down for the Spirit Gun elbow for the pin at 12:00. That goozle spot was so awesome that fans were PISSED at Ricochet daring to make a comeback and win. Bit of a car wreck at times but Brody is the MAN right now. ***

Meanwhile, Private Party gets challenged by Lio Rush and Action Andretti, but Top Flight stops by to bitch at them, leading to a match at Collision to determine the #1 contenders. Everyone knows who the REAL #1 contenders are and it’s THE OUTRUNNERS.

Meanwhile, Mercedes Mone and Anna Jay have words ahead of their TBS title match next week.

AEW World Women’s title: Mariah May v. Mina Shirakawa

They slug it out and Mina wins that battle while Mariah hides in the ropes, and Mina works the leg before getting a figure-four. Mariah makes the ropes and Mina rolls her right to the floor, so Mariah runs her into the stairs while Thunder Rosa watches from ringside and has words for her. Mina blocks a kick on the apron and goes to work on the leg with a ringpost figure-four as we take a break. Back with Mina making the comeback with an enzuigiri and they slug it out, and Mina wins that one as they have a double down. Mina goes to the knee again and adds a back suplex for two. Mina goes up and Mariah brings her down with a rana, but Mina gets an inverted DDT for two. Draping DDT gets two. Mariah fires back with a pair of knee strikes and follows with the MayDay, which gets two. Another try is reversed into a cradle for two, and Mina goes up with a flying slingblade and the Mina Driver gets two. But then Mariah hits Storm Zero for the pin to retain at 11:35. Kind of a disappointment but still good. ***. And afterwards, Toni Storm finally returns, back in her original gear, to end the show.

This one definitely felt like a step down from past “Winter is Coming” episodes, as there weren’t any surprise title changes or defining matches like there have been previously. Much like the past few weeks, the show has been good, but still too heavy on the talking and getting dragged down by the endless Adam Cole-MJF feud that literally no one cares about.