The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.22.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.22.23

TSN moved the show to TSN5 for some reason tonight and my DVR didn’t pick it up, so I’m watching on Fite instead.

Live from Chicago, IL

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

Continental Classic: Swerve Strickland v. Jay Lethal

Taking away all of Lethal’s backup seems horribly unfair to both himself and fans of Jeff Jarrett. Lethal goes after Swerve’s taped shoulder to start and they fight to the apron and trade forearms out there. Jay sends him to the floor and follows with a dive. Back in the ring, Swerve dropkicks the knee and goes to work on that with a leglock. But then Lethal snaps the arm down to escape. Swerve comes back with chops and takes him down with a german suplex, but Lethal hits a shoulderbreaker for a double down. They head to the floor and Lethal continues on the arm and Taz notes there was “no discussion” before Swerve went ahead and used orange tape for the injury. “Well just go ahead and thumb him in the eye next time you see him” notes Tony. Back in the ring, Lethal goes up and they fight over a double wristlock up there, but Swerve brings him down with a superplex. Swerve goes back to the leg and rolls into a flatliner, and the brainbuster gets two. Lethal with a cradle for two. Inverted suplex and he goes up with the flying elbow for two. Swerve tries a stretch muffler and Lethal makes the ropes and rolls him up for two. Lethal Injection is countered with a House Call, and Swerve pops up with the Swerve Stomp to finish at 13:50 for the first 3 points. Kind of a plodding opener that didn’t have much heat due to all the usual crew being banned from ringside. **1/2

Meanwhile, Orange Cassidy’s big announcement is interrupted by Wheeler Yuta, who decides to threaten Shibata. And then we’re out of time and Orange is unable make his announcement.

Better Than You Bay Bay joins us and they’re both pretty banged up. MJF feels like he can be a little too humble sometimes, so he decides to declare himself the greatest AEW World champion of all time to work on that. So Adam updates us on his ankle (it’s still really bad apparently) and he’s worried about Max and all the people gunning for him, including the guy in the mask. And then the Devil pops up on the screen for a laugh that sounds suspiciously like a voice-distorted Britt Baker, and then Samoa Joe interrupts. Joe once again requests a rematch, but MJF’s answer is “blow me”. But then Cole reminds Max that he’s a man of his word and he made the promise. MJF: “You wouldn’t be the first Ring of Honor legend I beat here in Chicago…twice…” but Joe doesn’t want the title shot tonight because he wants no excuses from MJF. So instead they’ll do the match at World’s End, which the crowd isn’t thrilled about. Way too long for the little they had to say.

Orange Cassidy, Hook & Shibata v. Jake Hager & 2.0

Orange finally does get to make his big announcement, which is the return of Danhausen. 2.0 decides to attack Hook during the entrance and they double-team him to set up a HagerBomb for two. Hager slugs away in the corner while the crowd questions him on the whereabouts of his hat, and he goes to work on the arm. Parker with a snap suplex for two. Hook fights back with a suplex on Parker and makes the hot tag to Orange, who hits Hager with the stunner and brings Shibata in. He beats on Hager in the corner with chops and follows with a corner dropkick. The JAS comes back and tries to triple-team him, but Danhausen produces the Purple Hat and CURSES the heels. And then Hook and Shibata finish 2.0 with stereo chokes at 8:00. Not much to this one but the finish was fun. **

Meanwhile, Adam Cole is proud of MJF, but Roddy and his guys interrupt, and Adam snaps that he’s not Roddy’s best friend anymore and he wants to be left alone. HARSH! Strong was just dropped on his neck on Rampage, and if ever he needed a #NeckStrong friend, now is the time more than ever.

Christian Cage and his Patriarchy join us, and he makes sure to cast blame for the loss on Saturday where it belongs: Luchasaurus. So apparently he needs a new name, and now he’ll be known by Christian’s finisher: Killswitch. And then Nick Wayne gets dubbed The Prodigy, but Nick Wayne’s mom comes out to protest. Christian points out that his mom is just a WAITRESS who couldn’t provide for her son. Also Nick probably would have disowned his father if he was still alive, but luckily he’s dead now and can’t. Luchasaurus tries to stand up for her, but Christian threatens to take off the mask so the world can see his hideous face. He’s right though, Austin is pretty ugly. But then Christian shoves him into Shana and knocks her out, and Nick decides to help out by setting up a Conchairto on his mom. But Adam Copeland saves before anything can happen and poor Nick Wayne gets speared a few times. And then Copeland delivers his own conchairto to Nick, right in front of his mom. This whole relationship is pretty messed up. Also Luchasaurus was always a terrible name and Killswitch is at least more intimidating and easier to type.

Meanwhile, Anna Jay is sick of the former JAS and their nonsense, and then Angelo gets a call from Ruby Soho and the whole thing falls apart.

Continental Classic: Rush v. Jay White

Who decided that putting RUSH in a tournament with no interference and nothing but clean jobs would be a good idea? Rush dropkicks him and does the field goal bit that still isn’t over in the US yet. Rush with a corner splash and dropkick to the back of the neck and White bails, but walks into a chop on the floor. Rush runs him into the railings and they head back in for a chop exchange and really lay them in, but Rush teases the Bull’s Horns and then decides to kick him in the face instead. Jay comes back with a DDT for two. He works a chinlock and follows with a neckbreaker for two and a suplex into the corner gets two. Rush comes back with rolling vertical suplexes and a brainbuster for two. They slug it out and Jay hits the uranage for two. More chops and Rush hits a german suplex, but White takes him down with the dragon screw. Rush tosses him into the corner. They trade finisher attempts and bump into the ref, which allows Jay to go low and finish with the Blade Runner at 14:00. They tried hard but this crowd is pretty rough tonight. ***1/4

Timeless Toni Storm wins the award for AEW Women’s World champion, and she didn’t even have a speech prepared! Thankfully she remembers to thank Jack Warner and all the little people. That was pretty clever.

Anna Jay v. Ruby Soho v. Skye Blue

They all trade rollups to start and Ruby hits Skye with a Saito suplex and then puts the boots to her in the corner. Anna wraps Skye around the post and puts the boots to her while Ruby disappears outside. Skye makes a comeback and they all fight on the floor, but Ruby and Angelo have a moment out there while Saraya and Daddy Magic protest. Back in the ring, Skye with a crossbody on the other two, but Anna counters the Code Blue for two. Ruby tosses Anna, but gets kicked into the arms of Cool Hand for another deep moment. And in the ring, Skye finishes Anna with the superkick and cutter at 8:49. I guess they wanted to fit all the interference into this one match to make up for the Continental Classic. *1/2

Meanwhile, Wardlow is getting his pump on and AR Fox decides to stop by and offer some advice, which earns him a headbutt.

Continental Classic: Jon Moxley v. Mark Briscoe

They slug it out to start and Moxley bites him in the corner, so Mark takes him to the floor and follows with a blockbuster off the apron. Back in the ring, Moxley boots him to the floor and runs him into the stairs, busting him open. Mark was busted open, by the way. You have to specify with Moxley. Back in, Moxley brings him in with a superplex for two. Mox with SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION and he puts the boots to Mark in the corner and then follows with a Saito suplex for two. Mox puts him in a crossface and follows with a piledriver for two. Mark comes back with the Redneck Kung Fu and an exploder for two. Mox goes for the arm and Mark makes the ropes to escape. To the top for another slugfest and Mark comes down with an axehandle, but he lands in a DDT from Moxley before popping up with a dropkick in a delayed sell. Death Valley Driver and he goes up for the froggy bow, which gets two. Moxley levels him with a lariat and a Death Rider for two. Mox with the choke, but Briscoe rolls him over for two. Mox with a suplex and Mark gets fired up and fights back until Moxley gives him the curb stomp and another Death Rider for the pin at 11:24. Yeah, now this is what I’m looking for out of the tournament. ***3/4

The tournament is an interesting idea and we’ll see if it gains momentum over the next month. At the very least it gives a bunch of guys a concrete direction and something to do. I wish the crowd had been hotter for this one, but it was still an enjoyable two hours.