The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.25.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.25.24

“Grand Slam!”

Live from Queens, New York, and there are no UGLY GODDAMN LED BOARDS tonight. Thank you TK.

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz, Jim Ross & Tony Schiavone

Bryan Danielson v. Nigel McGuinness

Bryan doesn’t immediately show up for his entrance, so Nigel demands that the ref count him out and strip him of the AEW World title. But then we switch from his old music to THE FINAL COUNTDOWN and the ref is so shooken that he can’t even finish the count. They trade forearms right away and a guy in the crowd has a sign that says “Nigel stick to commentating”. That seems harsh. They do some cool wristlock reversals and bust out the chain wrestling, so Nigel gets frustrated and slugs away in the corner. Bryan fires back with his own shots, but Nigel claims a low blow and dives like an Edmonton Oiler. They trade submission attempts on the mat and Bryan quickly gets the Lebell lock and Nigel has to make the ropes. Nigel sends him to the floor and Bryan tweaks his shoulder, so Nigel runs him into the stairs and goes to work on the arm in the ring. Bryan fights back with a kick in the corner and a butterfly suplex, and then blocks the Tower of London and hits the bu saiku knee for a double down. Bryan with the kicks for two, but Nigel does the handstand in the corner and then flips down with a neckbreaker for two. Danielson back to the Lebell Lock, but Nigel goes to the arm to break free. So Nigel dares Bryan to hit him with a forearm, and that backfires on Bryan badly, allowing Nigel to rebound off the ropes with a lariat. But that only gets one! Bryan makes the comeback, so Nigel pokes him in the eye and gets another lariat for two this time. Nigel goes to the shoulder again and Bryan kicks him in the face to break, so Nigel beats him down with elbows and then flips him up into the Tower of London, which gets two. Nigel with the London Dungeon on the arm and man that looks painful, but Bryan flips out of it and fights back with elbows from his good arm until they’re both down and out. They trade shots in the middle, but Nigel yanks the arm again to end that rally, and then puts Bryan down with another lariat for two. That was super clever, with Bryan doing the McGuinness rebound off the ropes but then walking into the lariat. But Bryan traps him in another Lebell Lock while tearing at the face in frustration, but Nigel rolls him over. So Bryan rolls him over again, and Nigel taps at 18:53 while yelling “Thank you”. I’m assuming he’s thanking Bryan for finally being a man and showing Nigel that he’s not the brittle clamdigger that Nigel thought he was. So hopefully he will finally shut up about it on commentary now. ****1/2

But then Christian Cage comes out with his contract, but Kip Sabian steals the pen and prevents him from cashing in. That scamp.

FTW title: Hook v. Roderick Strong

They fight to the floor right away and Hook beats Roddy down out there, so Roderick finds a kendo stick and Hook steals that, destroying all the geeks with it. But then Strong runs him into the post and we take a break. Back with Hook making a comeback and slugging away in the corner, which sets up a northern lights suplex for two. Taven sets up a chair in the corner and Hook tries for the choke on Roddy, but Strong runs him into the chair and follows with a back suplex for two. Strong tries a backbreaker on another chair, but Hook reverses to a judo throw for two. Strong drops him on another chair and follows with the Sick Kick for two. Hook reverses another backbreaker attempt, however, and finishes with the Redrum at 8:35. But afterwards, the Kingdom offers a handshake and shows respect for the win. This was fine, just a quickie win for Hook. **. And with that, Hook retires the FTW title where it started and returns the belt to Taz. Good riddance, honestly.

AEW World tag team title: The Young Bucks v. Kyle Fletcher & Will Ospreay

The Bucks double-team Kyle to start while Matt appears to have a really wicked dandruff thing going on. United Empire puts them into a compromising position, however, and Will moonsaults them and then sends them to the floor for a dive as we take a break. Back with Fletcher hitting a DDT on both Bucks and making the hot tag to Ospreay, who puts Nick down with a high kick and standing moonsault for two. But then Matt comes in with a superkick into a knee strike from Nick, which gets two. Their new senton and powerbomb combo gets two. Will breaks out of the EVP Trigger and hits a double cutter for two, thanks to some shoddy refereeing from Rick Knox. Wasn’t there an unspoken storyline for a long time that he was on the Bucks’ payroll? That one never got paid off. Unlike Knox. Well I guess he can run for Mayor of New York City next. OH YEAH, TIMELY BURN! Fletcher gets a hot tag and runs wild and they trade crazy moves for a double down and they all fight to the floor, where the Bucks double-team Fletcher with a rana off the apron to set up the TK Driver on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Well he’s dead. Fletcher barely beats the count and Nick runs him over with a running knee as we take another break. Back with the challengers hitting stereo Styles Clashes for two, and Ospreay comes in with a Hidden Blade on Matt, setting up the Stormbreaker for two. The Bucks break up the Tiger Driver with a superkick, so Fletcher makes another comeback until they cut him off. That sets up another TK Driver, but Ospreay takes out Nick with a cutter and hits his own version of the TK Driver on Matt for two. Correolis gets two. Fletcher with the superplex on Matt, which turns into the brainbuster on the top turnbuckle, but that only gets two as Nick makes a desperate save. So Kyle gets rid of Nick, but he chooses to hit a dive instead of going after Matt, which allows Don Callis to slip him the SCREWDRIVER OF DOOM and present him with a moral dilemma. Ospreay doesn’t want any of that, so Matt hits him with the belt, and then Nick hits Kyle with another belt for two. SUPERKICK PARTY and EVP Trigger finish at 19:00. Poor Kyle jobs again, film at 11. And Ospreay isn’t mad at Kyle, just very disappointed. Incredible tag team match, almost as good as the Outrunners might have had here. Almost. ****3/4. Of course the challengers had absolutely no realistic shot here, but DAMN if I wasn’t biting by the end.

Meanwhile, The Conglomeration officially welcomes Rocky Romero.

Prince Nana joins us with an update on Swerve, who is not cleared to return yet. But that brings out MVP to interrupt, and he blames bad management on Swerve losing his house and the match to Hangman. So if Swerve wants to talk BUSINESS, he’s got a BUSINESS card. Oh, he said the thing!

Meanwhile, a bus is on the way.

AEW World title: Mariah May v. Yuka Sakazaki

Yuka interrupts the entrance with a dive and into the ring for two right away. They slug it out and Yuka wins that battle, but Mariah takes her to the floor and dropkicks her out there to take over. Back in the ring for the spinning slam from Mariah, for two. Another dropkick gets two. Yuka fights back with a choke in the ropes and a sunset flip for two. Rollup gets two. Backslide gets two. Yuka with the rolling bodyscissors for two. Mariah with a german suplex for two, but Yuka superkicks her and follows with a northern lights bomb, but Mariah puts her down with the knee strike and finishes with Storm Zero at 6:10 to retain. No one in the building believed Yuka had any shot here whatsoever and this just felt like filler. And she goes to finish Yuka off with the belt, but Willow makes the save and also gets laid out, and then Mina Shirakawa also returns, not really into all the violence.

#1 Contender’s match: Darby Allin v. Jon Moxley

Moxley attacks and immediately busts Darby’s mouth open on the ropes while Excalibur makes an interesting comment about the BR Live service being sunsetted and AEW PPVs moving exclusively to all the other services. So I guess that “PPVs on Max” report has something to it, which is great for people in the US, I guess. Triller is still the best way to order them anyway. Mox runs Darby into the corner and Darby takes a crazy bump through the post, but he fights back like a honey badger and then traps Mox’s arm in the hollow ringpost and beats on it. Coffin drop to the floor and he follows with a cannonball and then runs afoul of Marina, allowing Moxley to take over again as we take a break. Back with Moxley hitting a lariat for two and I don’t wanna judge because everyone has bad days sometimes, but did Darby shit his pants or something? I assume that’s blood streaks on his shorts but it’s sure questionable. Darby fights back with a stunner and puts Moxley on the floor for a missile dropkick out there, and back in for Code Red, which gets two. But then Darby pulls off a turnbuckle and Moxley dropkicks him into the exposed steel. Darby comes back with a rollup for two and goes to an armbar, but Moxley just puts him on the top rope and smacks him to the floor. Marina helpfully pulls up the mats on the floor, but Darby escapes a Death Rider on the wood before trying a stupid dive and splatting out there anyway. Mox drops him on the stairs for good measure, but Darby beats the count as the crowd chants “You can’t kill him”. I’m thinking Moxley might take that as a challenge. Moxley slugs away in the corner, but he charges and misses, allowing Darby to roll him up for two. Coffin drop, but Mox just catches him in the choke and sinks it in. Darby smiles from the pain and fights to the ropes. So Mox tries another choke in the corner, but Darby fights out of that on the top rope, and then gets distracted and brought down with a Death Rider from the top for the pin at 17:21 to give Moxley the title shot. I approve of this change in direction, because the BCC is the MONEY right now for Danielson. And to prove it, Bryan runs out and uses his patented necktie choke on Moxley until the BCC pulls him off. Private Party and Kommander try to make the save for Bryan and they get laid out yet again. But Bryan wants war with the BCC now, and who better to back him up than a couple of curtain jerkers and a luchador who never wins anything? 4D chess. Anyway the match ruled but Danielson needs better representation. ****1/4

Damn, we got a PPV-level show on free TV, aside from the very mid women’s title match, with three of the best matches on TV this year and MVP making his debut and probably bringing friends soon. I guess I’ll have to check out Collision this week, too, and complete the set. A super fun banger of a show tonight.