The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.26.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.26.25

“A Minecraft Movie”

Live from St. Paul, MN

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Kenny Omega v. Blake Christian

The crowd is crazy for Kenny, as usual. They trade takedowns off a headlock and things get testy, so Kenny chops him down and hits a back suplex. Blake dropkicks him to the apron and spears him on the HARDEST PART OF THE RING to injure the guts, and then hits a dive to the floor. Back in the ring, Christian tries a handspring and Omega kicks him down to block and makes the comeback with the snapdragon. V-Trigger and One Winged Angel and we’re done at 4:48. Good to see Kenny getting to squash someone once in a while. So Kenny does a promo about Dynasty, and that brings out Speedball to offer congratulations. Kenny: “Thanks?” But then Bailey lets us know that he might respect Kenny, but he’s still gonna kick Kenny’s head off and win the title, which draws some heat. But then Ricochet interrupts on the Khan-Tron and claims to be at his wedding, so he can’t be there tonight. Kenny notes that he doesn’t need anymore friends anyway, because he’s already got a cat. This was fine, although there’s not really much of an issue here.

Meanwhile, on Slam Dunk Sunday, Bandido steals his brother’s mask back, and Jericho gets owned by a fan at ringside. So Jericho joins us and decides to air some grievances with the Learning Tree and he’s sick of asking Bryan Keith and Big Bill to prove themselves to him. So they’ve got one more chance to do so. And Jericho puts his title against Bandido’s mask at Dynasty and THAT’S a match with stakes.

MJF joins us to bury Prince for some cheap heat, and I know they take that seriously in Minnesota. So this brings out MVP and MJF wants to accept the offer, but the Hurt Syndicate interrupts and Bobby Lashley apparently doesn’t want to be in the MJF business. So Maxwell leaves, and the Learning Tree comes out and wants a title shot as we debate who the bitches are. So Bill complains that he never lost the tag team titles because his partner got pinned by Sting and Sting retired before he could a rematch. MVP: “Why don’t you actually win a match and then we’ll see about a title match?” Man’s got a point.

Brody King v. Kyle Fletcher

Kyle attacks in the corner and gives us the tearaway pants gag, but Brody sends him to the floor and beats on him with chops back in the ring. Brody clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kyle in control, but Brody puts him down with clotheslines and a huge backdrop, as Kyle bails to the floor. Brody hits him with a dive, but Kyle comes back with his own, and back in for a flying elbow that gets two. Brody tosses him into the corner and they head to the apron, where Brody hits him with a death valley driver as we take another break. Back with them slugging it out and King hits a lariat, but Mark Davis joins us and helps out by interrupting King’s cannonball. They fight to the top and Brody teases a top rope DVD, but Fletcher rakes the eyes to escape and drops him on the top rope with the brainbuster to finish at 17:10. Took a bit to get going but it ended up a good match. ***. This sets up the Aussie Open beatdown on Brody, but Powerhouse Hobbs makes the save.

Mark Davis v. Powerhouse Hobbs

So we take a break and wait for security to split everyone up, and then the bell rings for a MEAT match. Hobbs with a suplex, but Davis beats on him with chops and a running elbow into the corner. Hobbs backdrops out of a piledriver and powerslams him before hitting him with clotheslines in the corner. Davis fights back, but walks into the spinebuster and gets pinned at 2:30. Basically a squash win for Hobbs.

Meanwhile, Nick Wayne is beginning to understand how to properly execute a plan.

Meanwhile, Hangman Page declares that he wants the AEW World title again, which upsets Swerve Strickland, as you’d expect.

Meanwhile, Rated FTR sits down with Tony, and Cope has some disagreement with Dax about who did what to whom. And poor Cash gets caught in the middle. Dax wants to go after the tag team titles, but Cash thinks they can still win the Trios titles, so it’s Rated FTR v. Death Riders at Dynasty. I’m sure everything will be fine there.

Swerve Strickland joins us and he’s here to call out Jon Moxley. Swerve accuses Mox of hiding behind Marina and the Death Riders, and notes that he hides the belt away because he can’t bear to look at the title because he’s such a coward. But then Claudio makes a very ominous appearance behind Nana, and Moxley goes off on “billionaires and kids who see the world through Instagram filters” who run the business now. But then Marina tries to hit the ring and Willow cuts her off. So Swerve promises to lead the Dynasty Era again, while Jon “plays Jon Moxley on TV” and everyone backs off. But then Marina gets all agitated and decides to attack Willow before she leaves, resulting in Claudio needing to haul her into the crowd.

Meanwhile, Samoa Joe and Hook discuss the fun of choking out annoying people, and then Joe finds Max Caster and tests out the theory for himself.

Meanwhile, Jay White also enters the Owen Hart tournament.

Top Flight v. Alex Findlay & Devo Knight

Giant reaction for Top Flight, of course. They run through all their stuff on Findlay and Darius gets the leaping flatliner for two and finish with a samoan drop into a Dante splash at 3:00.

Mark Briscoe v. Konosuke Takeshita

Mark uses some REDNECK KUNG FU and escapes a german suplex. Rolling DVD and Mark goes up, but Takeshita cuts him off and brings him down with a superplex for two. Clothesline puts Takeshita on the floor, but Mark tries a dive and Takeshita cuts him off with a big boot and hits a DDT on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. We take a break and return with Briscoe making a comeback with chops in the corner while Taz gets all upset about how “judo chops” aren’t a thing. Briscoe tosses him and follows with a cannonball, and then walks the railing and drops an elbow on him. Back in, the forggy bow misses, but Briscoe fights back with a lariat for two. They trade exploders and toss each other around, but Takeshita hits the power knee for two. Mark with the Jay Driller for two. Takeshita escapes a Burning Hammer, and hits him with the Raging Fire for the pin at 11:53. Tremendous match here. ****

Meanwhile, the Death Riders accept the challenge of Rated FTR.

Meanwhile, the Hurt Syndicate doesn’t like MJF, but MVP does.

Megan Bayne & Penelope Ford v. Thunder Rosa & Toni Storm

I don’t know that THUNDER TITS is going to get over as a tag team name but I admire the attempt. Rosa gets nowhere with Bayne, and Bayne slams her, so Toni comes in and Bayne tags out to Ford. Toni hits her with a german suplex and the faces double-team her with a double-team dropkick for two. Rosa seems way to into the Thunder Tits thing. We take a break and return with Ford licking Rosa for two. Hot tag Storm and she has the showdown with Bayne and clotheslines her to the floor. DDT on the floor, but Ford catches Toni with a cutter in the ring. Rosa with a DVD, but Bayne gives her the F5 to take her out. Bayne tries it on Toni but can’t pull it off, and Toni gets the hip attack, which Megan no-sells. Toni goes know what to do with that, but manages to get a rollup for two. And then Bayne shrugs her off and pins her with the F5 at 9:00. Man that one SILENCED the crowd in a good way. I think they’re gonna go all the way and have Bayne squash Storm and win the title at Dynasty, in fact. **1/2.

Hot crowd and a hot show this week that did a great job of setting up the PPV. I’m not convinced that they’re gonna switch the title onto Swerve, with all the big babyface challengers that are lined up now, but they sure could switch it and people would be good with it.