The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.12.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.12.25

Taped from Austin, TX

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

Best Wrestler Alive Open Challenge: Platinum Max Caster v. Hangman Page

Wisely, Caster runs away into the crowd in terror, but the fans stooge him out, so Page chases him into the ring and Caster actually gets some offense with a rana out of the corner. But that doesn’t last long and Hangman pops up and hits him with a lariat and then some very aggressive clotheslines before finishing with the Buckshot at 1:13.

Meanwhile, we get a video package about Ricochet and Swerve, and Prince Nana tries to convince Swerve to let it go and move on.

AEW World Trios title: The Death Riders v. The Undisputed Kingdom

They brawl on the floor to start and we take a break. Back with Claudio cutting off O’Reilly with a sleeper, and the Riders put the boots to him in the corner while the ref is busy with the Kingdom. Kyle fights back and brings Strong in with a hot tag and they trade shots, but the Kingdom clears the ring and tries to double-team Pac with a Demolition elbow. But Claudio cuts that off with a back suplex on Strong and they hit him with Hart Attack for two and Yuta goes to the facelock. Yuta with a snap suplex for two. Pac with a side headlock on Roddy and he follows with a snap suplex and throws forearms in the corner, which gets two. Claudio with a sleeper and Strong fights him off, but the DR trap him in the corner and triple-team him again with running elbows as we take another break. Back with Yuta cutting off a babyface comeback with a dropkick for two, but Roddy fights back with chops and it’s hot tag Cole. He runs wild and hits Yuta with an enzuigiri and neckbreaker for two. Pac dives off the top and Cole superkicks him on the way down, and they beat him down with triple kicks for two. So then Claudio hits Cole and Strong with a double suplex by himself, but the Fastball Special is countered and Kyle gets two on Yuta. The High Low on Yuta gets two. Kyle puts him in the anklelock, but Claudio smashes Strong into the railing and grabs a chair. Cole cuts him off with a superkick, but Yuta hits Kyle with a low blow and pins him at 17:24 to retain. Man I really wanted a title change there just to break up the endless HEAT on the Death Riders week after week. It’s way past time to change those titles. Match was pretty great despite a big chunk of it happening during the breaks, though. ***3/4. The Riders try for another beatdown, but Daniel Garcia & 2.0 make the save. I don’t see them as a step up from the Kingdom to be honest.

Meanwhile, those wacky scamps COPE and Switchblade trap Marina in a door and cut off the briefcase so they can steal it.

Meanwhile, Hangman Page interrupts MJF’s interview time (“I didn’t know Jack Daniels came out with a cologne”) and Max posits that Hangman doesn’t have the stomach for the road he’s walking down now.

Samoa Joe, Hook & Katsuyori Shibata v. Jon Cruz, Aaron Solo & Rosario Grillo

The faces destroy the jobbers and Hook hits Solo with a capture suplex, then Shibata beats on Grillo with chops before Joe just casually trips him and hits him with a senton. Over to Cruz, who tries a serpentine strategy, but Joe hits him with the Muscle Buster and pins him at 1:48. Apparently they are now The Opps, and they’re after the Patriarchy, who are a bunch of Chicken Ass Cowards, and so next week they’ll have a match. I feel bad for the jobbers having to lie on the floor playing dead for that whole promo.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho has failed to get rid of Bandido via Bryan Keith, so now he has to collect the bounty himself.

Meanwhile, Willow’s excited interview with Renee is interrupted by Jon Moxley and Marina, who take her time and clarify that COPE is a dead man walking.

Chris Jericho joins us, in his cowboy era, calls out Bandido for a SHOWDOWN in Texas. Interesting that there’s some very clear edits in the show as it goes along, which has really helped with the snappy pacing this week. So as promised, the lights go out and they do 10 paces into the corner, but the Bad Apple trips Bandido up for a beatdown, until the OUTRUNNERS make the save. So this brings Big Bill in to claim the bounty, but Powerhouse Hobbs answers instead and they brawl, with Hobbs hitting the spinebuster to win that argument. Fun segment.

Meanwhile, Switch and COPE taunt Moxley with the case and COPE thinks back on the times he’s carried briefcases around in the past.

Dustin Rhodes v. MJF

The already hot crowd is MOLTEN for Dustin. Dustin immediately hits Max with a powerslam and chases him out of the ring for a brawl out there, but Max necks him on the way in and goes to work on the arm. Also what’s with the constant signs about supporting WrestleTalk? Didn’t I used to write for that magazine? I honestly lose track after a while. Dustin tries a sunset flip and MJF blocks that and goes to the arm again for one. MJF with a back suplex and he goes to work on the shoulder before knocking Dustin down with a very disrespectful running ballsack to the head. Dustin fights back, but MJF slugs away in the corner, but Dustin powerbombs him and makes the comeback with the atomic drop before beating on him in the corner. Dustin with the bulldog, but MJF escapes the finisher and goes up with the double stomp on the arm. MJF with the armbar, but Dustin counters for two. MJF teases a Crossroads, but Dustin hits his own for two. They trade cradles for two, but MJF snaps off a piledriver for two. Amazingly they get dueling chants from the crowd, in Dustin’s home town. Max grabs a chair and threatens to PIllmanize him, but the ref saves and Dustin crotches Max in the corner and gives him the Shattered Nuts and Final Reckoning for two. MJF goes back to the arm again to put Dustin down and hits a brainbuster for two. Armbar follows, but Dustin tries for the ropes, so MJF switches him to a crossface instead, and Dustin is out at 11:13. Obviously that was the best result, with Dustin putting up the fight until he passed out. Man if they had tried to continue with Jeff Jarrett in this role, it would have been a DISASTER. But instead, it was another late career great performance from Dustin. ****. Afterwards, Hangman makes the save to prevent any further damage, and they get into a huge pullapart brawl and then fight into the crowd, where MJF tries to throw Page off the balcony before security breaks them up. So with Hangman gone, MJF goes back to the ring to call him a coward and do another promo, at which point Hangman hits the ring AGAIN and they get into another wild slugfest and we finally get to a break. This whole piece of business was just awesome pro wrestling madness and really felt like the AEW of old again.

Megan Bayne v. Maya World

Bayne with an overhead belly to belly, twice, before dragging her to the corner and beating on her there. Flying clothesline out of the corner and an F5 finishes at 1:50. I think she’s gonna be a big star pretty soon now. And then we flow right into…

Kris Statlander v. Penelope Ford

Statlander and Bayne have a staredown on the way by to set up the women’s version of a Meat Match. Ford takes Kris down with a headscissors and licks her face to weird everyone out, so Kris puts her down with a running clothesline. I mean, Statlander used to boop people so really she’s not one to talk. Ford goes for the tongue action again, so Kris grabs it and beats her down and then hits her with a seated dropkick for two. We take a break and return with Stat hitting a superplex and a short clothesline. Powerslam gets two. Ford with a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Ford with the stunner, but Statlander puts her down with a german suplex for two. Penelope comes back again with a poison rana, but misses the handspring elbow and Stat gets the lariat and tombstone to finish at 8:28. **3/4 Ford’s kind of stuck in this JTTS role and seemed like she was gonna team with Harley Cameron to get out of it, but she got left in the dust in a HURRY. And afterwards, Bayne returns and lays her out with the F5 on the floor.

Meanwhile, Harley Cameron and her puppet present a new rap tribute to Mercedes, before Harley abruptly breaks out of the video and sends a personal message to Mone, promising to make Mercdes FEEL THE WRATH in Australia. Man she’s so ridiculously good right now.

AEW World tag team title: The Hurt Syndicate v. The Gunns

Colten evades Bobby to start but gets run over as the crowd is torn who to cheer for. Lashley smashes Austin with a slam and then tosses him over the top rope like a sack of garbage before Shelton hurls him into the front row. We take a break and return with Lashley hitting a suplex for two. Austin manages to fight them off and dives for the tag, but Bobby cuts it off and allows Shelton to keep beating on Austin. Finally he dives over both guys and makes the hot tag to Colten, who dropkicks Lashley to the floor. Neckbreaker on Shelton for two. Rollup gets two, but Shelton switches into an anklelock and Austin has to save. Gunns with a fameasser on Shelton for two. Bobby breaks up 310 to Yuma, but Shelton has had ENOUGH of these jerks and suplexes the shit out of Austin. Colten apparently wants some of that too and Shelton gives him a ride, and then Lashley spears Austin to finish at 10:28. Man they sure killed off the Gunns decisively there in the first match back for them. ***

Meanwhile, Mariah May is pretty sure that Toni Storm doesn’t actually exist, although TSN cuts off whatever her point was going to be.

COPE and Switch join us to call out Jon Moxley and dare him to take the briefcase back. So he threatens to bust the briefcase open and show everyone the belt, which brings Mox out to finally give COPE his shot at the World title at Revolution, at which point the Death Riders steal the case back and we get another Death Rider beatdown until Jay White makes the save and we reset everything with the case back in the hands of Marina again.

That main event segment actually felt like it would have worked better earlier in the show because it came off kind of flat. Honestly they should have ended with Dustin v. MJF. However, that Austin crowd was anything but flat, just like the Houston crowd on Collision, as they lucked into two crowds in Texas who were on FIRE for the whole show and it made the whole thing feel like a bigger deal. Second great Dynamite in a row and hopefully Australia can deliver the goods on Saturday as well.