The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.01.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.01.25

“Fight for the Fallen”

Oh hey, here’s some irony: The night that Dynamite debuts as a streaming simulcast on MAX in the US, it gets bumped from the regular timeslot on all 5 TSNs so it’s not on until after midnight up here. So I have to watch on Triller instead.

I’ll tell ya what I COULD have watched tonight: TNA, because it’s all over Sportsnet tonight with WWE gone. I watched about half of Hard to Kill and it was pretty good, actually.

Live from Asheville, NC, complete with new Pointer Sisters theme, which is certainly not something you hear much in 2025. Granted we’re only one day into the year but still.

Your hosts are Excalibur & Tony Schiavone

Jon Moxley explains that he’d rather destroy AEW before he lets anyone get their greedy fingers on his AEW World title again, and clarifies that no one has authority over him because he’s already a king.

Orange Cassidy v. Hangman Page

Orange tries for the punch early, but Page slips away and tries the buckshot lariat, which misses. The hard cam is weirdly high for this show, like it’s situated in the upper deck or something. Is someone bleeding in 1996 WCW? Orange slugs away in the corner, but Hangman powerbombs him for two. Hangman sends him to the floor and runs him into the railing to take over, but Orange backdrops him on the floor and gets some more shots on Hangman. Back in the ring, Orange tries a bodypress and Page catches him and slams him into the corner for two. Orange rolls him up for two and hits a PK on the rebound, and a stunner puts Page on the floor. Orange dives and gets caught, and Page slams him on the ramp to take over again. Back in the ring, that gets two. Death valley driver gets two. Page with a crossface, but Orange makes the ropes and tries a comeback, only for Page to put him down with an elbow. Hangman tries the buckshot and Orange casually rolls out of the way while waving goodbye to him, so Page gets more annoyed and tries again. Another failure to launch and Orange makes the comeback this time, running him into both turnbuckles on the apron before reversing a slam into the tornado DDT for two. Orange with the kicks, but Page clotheslines him and tries another buckshot, which Orange reverses into the Beach Break for two. Orange with a rollup for two and he follows with the Orange Punch, but Page rolls to the apron and absorbs more Orange punches, before springing back in with the Buckshot lariat to finish at 12:54. Really good opener to the MAX era. ***1/2. Afterwards, Page continues the beating, but Christopher Daniels makes the save and also gets beat down.

Meanwhile, Jay White wants another path to Moxley via the Casino Gauntlet next week.

The Acclaimed v. The Hurt Syndicate

Max Caster is so focused that he’s not even rapping tonight because he doesn’t want to get into any more trouble. Lashley beats on Caster in the corner and clotheslines him to the floor for some abuse out there. Back in the ring, Caster decides to let Bowens have a try and he cleans house, but then Caster tags himself in again and gets wrecked with suplexes from Shelton. Shelton with a running knee and Bobby comes in with a spear while Bowens just watches from the floor, and the Hurtlock finishes at 4:04 to finish the complete squash.

Meanwhile, Swerve wants to apologize to all the fans who have been screaming his name while he’s been away.

Jamie Hayter v. Julia Hart

Julia tries to take Hayter down by the hair and Jamie keeps popping up and gets her own takedown, and then follows with a powerslam. Hayter with a pair of corner clotheslines, but Julia sends her to the floor and follows with a crossbody. Hayter catches her, but Julia slams her on the stairs to take over. “Remember that Jamie’s 15 month layoff was due to a back injury!” notes Excalibur. Actually we don’t remember because she just disappeared from TV one day and no one ever said anything about the reason. AEW is actually really bad for that. Back in the ring, Julia runs her into the corner and puts the boots to her before taking her down with a headlock. Back with Hayter making a comeback with a backbreaker that gets two. Julia boots her down and tries the moonsault, but that misses, so she gets kind of an STO for two instead. That sets up the Hartless submission, but Hayter escapes with a backbreaker and follows with a sliding lariat for two. But then Julia distracts the ref with an arrow, and sprays black mist in Jamie’s eyes for the pin at 9:51. Good TV match but nothing special. **1/2

Meanwhile, Okada wants Kenny Omega to stay out of his business, bitch.

Mercedes Mone joins us for a championship celebration, and brings her own video package with her. And then she does the first plug for Wrestle Dynasty of the show, and that’s it. Well that could have been an email, as the kids say.

Meanwhile, the Undisputed Kingdom promises that 2025 is going to be their year. God I hope not, I’d like to see the promotion survive past the end of the year.

Roderick Strong v. Swerve Strickland v. Jay White

Winner of this gets #1 in the Casino Gauntlet next week. Swerve cleans house with clotheslines and hits Strong with a suplex before diving onto White on the floor. Back in the ring, he continues beating on both guys, but White gets a double DDT and clears the ring again. He suplexes both guys on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, but Strong tosses Jay over the top and onto Swerve. Back in the ring, Strong beats on White with a backbreaker for two as they keep Swerve out of the ring and then brawl to the floor. Strong runs White into the railing and back in for two. They all pile up in the corner and we get a triple down after a superplex, but Swerve is up first and powerbombs Strong into White before powerslamming Jay for two. Strong powerbombs White for two after dumping Swerve, but Swerve comes back in with a Swerve Stomp on Strong. White tries the Blade Runner but Swerve reverses that to a flatliner, but they all head to the floor again and Swerve chases White down for a kick off the railing. But then Ricochet pops out of the crowd and smashes a pair of scissors into Swerve’s head to take him out, allowing White to finish Strong with the Blade Runner at 10:34. This was OK but kept slowing down every time they went to the floor and never really hit that second gear. **1/2. Swerve is naturally busted open by the scissors, and Ricochet makes sure to have a white shirt and busts him open further before putting him down with a Spirit Gun. Ricochet is a man with some HEAT.

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett gets ready for his big announcement tonight, and his goofballs promise to support him 100%.

Meanwhile, Mariah May now thinks that women’s division is GREAT, because she was told not to say anything bad anymore.

Jeff Jarrett joins us, discussing the history of the Jarrett family in wrestling, and how he dropped out of college to become a wrestler in 1986 against his family’s wishes. So is it time for him to hang it up? NO. In fact, he’s re-signed with AEW, because he wants GOLD. Well he’s already the Texas Chainsaw Massacre champion, but apparently he’s shooting for the AEW World title in 2025. Man, watching the 2000 Nitro shows, I would never think I’d be rooting him on to win another World title 25 years later, but here we are.

Meanwhile, Hook has words for Christian Cage and he’s gonna finish the job that the turtleneck started and choke him out in two weeks.

Powerhouse Hobbs v. Rob Killjoy & Jon Cruz

Hobbs quickly destroys both geeks and slams Cruz onto Killjoy with a spinebuster to finish at 1:14. Cruz was so humiliated he should probably just put on a mask so people don’t know his identity after this.

Meanwhile, the Learning Tree offers some words of wisdom to Rated FTR, and Cope gets the burn on the century on Big Bill with YOUR FACE IS STUPID. I don’t know how he’s gonna recover from that one.

Meanwhile, MJF is finally ready to say goodbye to Adam Cole and move on to retribution and get the World title back.

Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta v. Rated FTR

Apparently now it’s just COPE, which is worth a try I guess. I’m still always fighting the impulse to call him Edge though. Dax beats on Yuta for a bit and then it’s over to COPE and slugs it out with Claudio before putting him on the floor with a hiptoss and following with a baseball slide. But then Marina runs him into the post to cut that off and the Death Riders go to work on COPE. Back in the ring, the Riders take turns choking him out on the apron. More choking in the corner and Claudio gets two from that and goes to a chinlock, but COPE backdrops Yuta and makes a hot tag to Cash. He powerslams Yuta for two, but Claudio comes in and takes care of FTR with forearms to break it up. Dax with a brainbuster, but Yuta cradles Dax for two. Yuta goes up and Dax brings him down with a superplex for two, but then Claudio cleans house again. Jackhammer on Dax sets up a flying splash from Yuta for two. Moxley with a slam for two and Claudio goes to a facelock and gets a sunset flip for two. Dax fights them off and makes a hot tag to COPE, who slugs it out with Moxley and hits him with an Impaler DDT. Moxley runs away from the spear and decides to exit, so COPE chases him out into the crowd to continue the fight. Back in the ring, Wheeler hits COPE with a DDT, but charges and COPE counters with a powerbomb for two. But then Moxley and Claudio post COPE to stop the comeback and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. The Riders try to put COPE through the table at ringside, but Jay White sneaks in and takes out Yuta while COPE spears Moxley through the railing, and Shatter Machine finishes Yuta at 18:32 for the happy ending. ***1/4

A fun show, easy to watch, and a good intro for new viewers on MAX, but nothing earth-shattering this week. I might check out some of Wrestle Dynasty this weekend, I dunno. They really made zero effort to promote anything on it at all, which is weird.