The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 11.25.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 11.25.23

It’s probably just me and Tommy Hall watching this show tonight in all of North America but whatever. What are they gonna do over on that other streaming channel, bring back R-Truth? LOL THAT’LL BE THE DAY.

Live from Pittsburgh, PA

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuinness & Kevin Kelly

Continental Classic: Claudio Castagnoli v. Daniel Garcia

Nigel: “Bryan Danielson not in attendance tonight. From my understanding it’s his time of the month.” OK I howled at that one. Claudio immediately catches him with a tilt a whirl backbreaker for two, but Daniel jumps into a guillotine and gets slammed as a result. Speaking of getting slammed, Nigel notes that the only sure bet is Bryan Danielson getting injured, and furthermore “he’s sponsored by Bubble Wrap”. Garcia fights back and they brawl to the floor, where Garcia sits Claudio in a chair and hits him with a shotgun dropkick into the railing. But then Claudio casually catches him in a Giant Swing and smashes his head into the railing in retribution. That’s what the kids call a pyrrhic victory for Daniel Garcia. Back in the ring, Claudio goes to a chinlock and then wraps up Daniel in a sick straitjacket hold, before Garcia slugs out of it. Nigel: “I’m looking forward to seeing Bryan Danielson in Wembley again. Assuming he’s not in a wheelchair by then. Don’t wanna tempt fate or anything.” Garcia comes back with another guillotine and then he flips over into a regular sleeper. Claudio tries for a rollup to escape, but Garcia reverses him into an anklelock. So Claudio flips out of that and puts him down with a lariat. Short arm clothesline gets two. Ricola Bomb is reversed by Garcia into a rollup for two, but Claudio turns him over in the Sharpshooter. Daniel cradles him for two, but Claudio puts him down with the Swiss Death forearm for two. But Garcia keeps fighting, so Claudio forearms him again, and then finishes with the Ricola Bomb at 10:31 to earn 3 points. Well we know Daniel is in the tournament to be the job guy. Solid opener. ***1/4

Meanwhile, Eddie Kingston is back because the cold opener wasn’t good enough apparently. All he ever wanted to do is wrestle in Japan, and now he’s done that and he wants to go get ready to beat up Brody King. Fair enough.

KILLSWITCH v. The Boys

The ex-dinosaur squashes the shit out of the twins and chokeslams one of them on the apron and then lariats the other and pins him at 1:20. And then the poor kid takes a chokeslam on an open chair, but Adam Copeland comes out of the crowd with a chair and beats Killswitch into applesauce before crossfacing him with a piece of metal. Actually Copeland dressing like Opie from Sons of Anarchy is a pretty cool look for him, he should stick with that. Copeland hits him with the Conchairto and does his celebration, but then Killswitch gets up again while the music playing like a horror movie villain. So Adam curb stomps him on the chair to put him down again, and then delivers a SECOND conchairto. BADASS.

Meanwhile, Adam does a crazed promo backstage, where he’s promising to come for blood from Christian for threatening to go after Beth and the children…and challenges Christian for the TNT title on December 6 in Montreal. I like this guy.

The House of Black v. Komander & Gravity

Buddy overpowers Gravity to start, but Gravity hits him with a german suplex and puts him on the floor with an enzuigiri. Over to Black and he boots Gravity down, but Komander gets a blind tag and comes in with a rana and springboard enzuigiri. But then Black beats on him with kicks and hits a german suplex for two. Over to Buddy, who drops a knee on Komander for two. Black with a hiptoss for two. We hit the chinlock and Black drops a knee for two. Back to Buddy with a chinlock, but Komander flips away from them and makes the tag to Gravity, who hits the House with a double crossbody. But then Buddy takes him down onto a knee strike from Black in an awesome spot to cut him off. Komander comes in again and hits Buddy with a spinning DDT, and a gutbuster on Black gets two. Komander goes up with the ropewalk, but Buddy cuts him off and tries for a superplex. Gravity saves and tosses both of the House, but he dives and gets caught by them. So then Komander comes in with the ropewalk into the dive of his own to save his masked buddy, taking out both of the House. Back in the ring, we get stereo splashes, but they both fail, and the House destroys them with kneelifts and then Malakai waits out Komander’s attempts to stand up on his own, before Buddy curb stomps him for the pin at 11:30. They had mad chemistry together tonight, but no one in the arena buys them as a legitimate threat for one second. ***1/2. But WHY is Tony Khan so averse to booking upsets? This would have been a perfect time to put the luchadors over, since they have zero credibility and never win on TV. And it’s not like Buddy Matthews can’t do a job, he gets cucked by Dom every week!

Meanwhile, Action Andretti and Darius Martin re-introduce their trios partner…Dante Martin. Good to see him back and hopefully he can stay healthy this time.

TBS title: Julia Hart v. Lady Frost

That TBS title is comically gigantic on tiny Julia. Your chosen stip for the match tonight: NO COUNTOUTS. That’s a gamechanger. Frost gives her an ice cold chop in the corner, but Julia takes her down with an armbar and Frost flips away from her. Julia bails to the floor and then hauls Frost out there for a beating and then runs her into the post. Julia grabs a chair, but misses her shot, so Frost tries a moonsault off the stairs and also misses. So they head up the ramp here in this no countout match, and Julia clotheslines her out of a chair and back into the ring for two. Frost makes the comeback, but Julia wraps her up in Hartless to finish at 5:10. Frost has a really cool look but she got completely squashed here and this had no heat. No pun intended. *

Meanwhile, Powerhouse Hobbs is still black and jacked.

FTR v. The Righteous

God I’m tired of seeing the Righteous on my TV. Kevin puts them over by nothing that they’re “former #1 contenders to the ROH tag team titles.” Yes, the titles so important that one guy routinely defends them by himself because his partner is literally unable to wrestle. And they still lost. FTR double-teams them and dumps Vincent onto Dutch on the floor, and they brawl out there. Dax gets caught with a cheapshot and worked over out there, and back in for more punishment in the Rightous corner. Vincent rolls him up for two. He slugs away on Dax while Nigel dubs the ROH tag champions “ol’ Clubfoot and Lip”. He’s not wrong. Vincent with a sleeper, but Dax fights out and comes back with a sunset flip. Dutch cuts off the comeback with a big splash for two. Dutch with a powerbomb and he goes up and misses a senton. Hot tag Cash and he runs wild with forearms on Dutch, but he walks into a Bossman slam for two. But then Cash breaks up the finisher, and the Shatter Machine finishes Vincent at 9:00. Just a match. **

Afterwards, the House of Black comes out and notes that no one would save FTR if they came to the ring, including “no CM Punk and no Cesaro”. And then the lights go out and they disappear again. Man you can’t just drop a pair of names like that and then vanish!

Big Bill & Ricky Starks join Tony after we get a replay of them taking out Chris Jericho, and Big Bill quips that the Golden Jets are more like the Golden Girls. Ha. And the champs don’t even know each other that well! “Bill, what’s my birthday?” “No idea.” Double ha. And then Bill does a hell of a babyface promo talking about overcoming alcohol addiction and making it back to wrestling after everyone said he was washed and done for, and now he’s back on the top. So Bill names off a bunch of people who I assume are basketball players, and Ricky is equally as much of a non-fan as me but even he knows that those people are stars!

Keith Lee v. Lee Moriarty

TOO MANY LEES. We get a karate battle to start and Keith headfakes him and then pounces him out of the ring. Keith with the chops in the corner, but Moriarty dropkicks him into the corner and puts him down with a big boot and bulldog for two. Moriarty works the arm, but that just angers Keith and Moriarty gets smacked down repeatedly. Moriarty tries to jump into an armbar and Keith just powers him up with one arm and then puts him down with a clothesline. But Moriarty keeps coming with a bulldog for two. But then Keith catches him and finishes with the powerslam at 7:25. Kind of a weird finish but it was fine.

Meanwhile, Keith Lee rages about getting held down, which is apparently aimed at Shane Taylor. Given that they’ve been doing vignettes building up that feud for literally months now, I expect to actually see that match sometime in 2025.

Continental Classic: Eddie Kingston v. Brody King

We get a power battle to start and they trade chops as Nigel again puts over Bryan Danielson. “206 bones in the human body and he’s gonna run out of them pretty soon.” Brody with a cannonball in the corner and Eddie bails to the floor to escape, only to take a boot off the apron and into the railing. They fight on the floor and Brody beats him into railing with a crossbody. Back in the ring, Brody chokes him out on the ropes and hits him with a senton for two. Brody beats on him in the corner and they fight to the top rope, where Brody brings him down with a superplex. Eddie is so done that he collapses after an irish whip, but he fights back out of the corner and tries some clotheslines, finally putting Brody down. Eddie comes back with the chops, but can’t sink the exploder, and Brody puts him down with a german suplex. Eddie with the backfist out of nowhere and that gets two. We get another chop battle and they just lay it in, but Eddie kicks him in the knee and DDTs him for two. Eddie tries a powerbomb and can’t get him up, and Brody spikes him with a uranage, but Eddie fires back with the exploder and then pops up for a half and half and then a Saito suplex for two. Brody piledrives him for two and Eddie is staggered, but fights back with the backfist, so Brody hits him with one more powerbomb to finish at 16:51 and claim the 3 points. I kind of figured that Eddie would immediately want to put someone over. ***3/4.

A very pleasant and easy to watch evening of wrestling. Not sure if anything happened on the other show tonight. I feel confident in saying probably not.