WWF SmackDown! Rewind: 12.02.99 – “The Post-Wedding Blues”

Previously on SmackDown: DX is mean to the homeless! The gravy bowl match! Poontang pie!

We begin with a video package looking at the wedding of Stephanie McMahon and Test on Raw which went off without a hitch.

Vince McMahon is pacing with a bat, Shane McMahon telling him to relax so he doesn’t go to jail. Vince would never do anything worth going to jail!

Fireworks! We are taped from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California, on UPN. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are on commentary, Tony Chimel is our ring announcer.

Stephanie McMahon is out first in the arena tonight, wearing all black and looking dejected. Cole reminds us that Stephanie is legally married to Triple H. She calls her brother and father to the ring, wanting to say something to them, her friends and family, and her fiancée. We go back and see Vince and Shane continuing to pace, Vince refusing to hand over the bat. Dave Hebner runs up and tells them that Stephanie is calling for them in the middle of the ring. Back in the arena, Stephanie says the only person to blame is herself and she accepts full responsibility. She shouldn’t have partied and drank so much, especially taking the last drink from a bartender she didn’t know. She doesn’t remember much after that drink and was just as shocked as everyone else when the video of her marriage to Triple H aired. She was disgusted, felt cheap and felt violated. She will never forgive Triple H for wrecking her life.

WWF CEO Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon march out. Stephanie tells her she got herself into this and she’ll get herself out and wants them to promise that they will let her handle it her way. She begs Vince to promise he’ll let her do it her way. “I PROMISE,” he scowls before leaving with his bat.

Viscera is looking in a tiny mirror and spraying cologne. “When I see Tori tonight, it’s gonna be a night she’s gonna never forget.” Kane attacks and we’re brawling in the locker room.

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week brought to you by Lugz! X-Pac spin kicks Tori on Raw.

Kane vs Viscera

We come back to Kane and Viscera brawling up the aisle. They brawl some more; Kane hits the flying clothesline from the top rope. X-Pac appears to say he spin kicked Tori on purpose. “It was so intentional!” Kane goes after him and gets counted out. To the pay window, Viscera! Kane attacks and chokeslams the big man, Kane laughing on the ramp. Kane explodes his pyro on the ramp. In ten days, it’ll be Kane versus X-Pac.

Viscera defeats Kane by count out. It happened! It was quick!

Al Snow and Head are watching clips of Raw with Rock hitting the elbow on Snow. Mankind joins, eating a hot dog, Al saying he is taking Rock’s hide apart tonight. Not his hide!

After break, Mankind is searching for Rock and doesn’t find him but compliments a picture of Shania Twain on the wall.

Edge & Christian vs The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley)

This is a match we’d see once or twice more in the future. We flash back to Raw and the Dudleys brawling with the Acolytes after a game of poker. D-Von and Edge start off, Edge dropkicking D-Von and taking him down with an armdrag. Christian tags in and nails a flying crossbody. Bubba tags in and they do what would evolve into the “Wassup” top rope headbutt. The Dudleys continue working over Christian and slow it down for a while. Christian hits a reverse DDT on D-Von from the second rope and finally gets the hot tag. Bubba accidentally hits his brother and still catches Edge for a fallaway slam. Edge ranas Bubba from the top but his knee gives out on the way down. D-Von tags in and leaps onto Edge for the pin. Post-match, the Dudleys continue to assault until the Acolytes chase them off.

D-Von Dudley pins Edge, the Dudleys defeat Edge & Christian. This was a perfectly acceptable tag match. Good work from both teams and they’re starting to gel together very well.

Stephanie is pacing and waiting for Test.

WWF European Championship: WWF European Champion British Bulldog (with the Mean Street Posse) vs D’Lo Brown

The referee sends the Posse to the back. D’Lo gets a quick powerslam and sets up the running powerbomb, Bulldog flips out of it and suplexes D’Lo. Val Venis runs out and attacks Bulldog on the outside, D’Lo attacks Val. Val whips D’Lo into the corner for a clothesline and the ref finally calls for the DQ. D’Lo hits a Sky High on Val to end the segment.

D’Lo Brown defeats British Bulldog by disqualification, British Bulldog retains his title. The little bit we got was good, but you know… a minute and a half.

Stephanie is there for a limo pulling up, but out walks her husband Triple H. “Honey, I’m home!” She runs off.

The DX theme brings out D-Generation X (WWF World Tag Team Champions Mr. Ass & Road Dogg and X-Pac) pushing out a shopping cart full of wrapped gifts as well as a few unwrapped including an iron and a toaster. X-Pac promises to beat Kane at Armageddeon and rip his mask off. Mr. Ass tells us the Outlaws are putting their gold on the line at Armageddeon against the Rock ‘n Sock Connection. Dogg tells us tonight they’re facing the Hardys & Big Show in the main event, but enough about them because it’s a week of joyous celebration.

Triple H comes out to “No Chance in Hell,” doing the McMahon strut while wearing a Vince Halloween mask and showing off his wedding ring. Present time. We have a framed photo of the McMahon family including Triple H, two toasters (“I can never heat up that many buns at once”), an iron, lingerie, and a front row ticket for Stephanie to watch Triple H vs Vince at Armageddon. HHH makes the match anything goes, complete with no DQ and falls counting anywhere. “Dad, at Armageddon, your little baby is gonna sit front row center and watch me beat you until you can’t stand up.”

Mankind and The Rock talk backstage, Rock saying he has no fear “of a man named Al.” Sorry, Al Ollie. Al Snow attacks Rock and Mankind runs him off.

Stephanie is pacing in an office, still waiting for Test.

Mankind vs Chris Jericho

Tonight, SmackDown is brought to you by THQ’s WrestleMania 2000 for N64, WWF The Music Vol. 4 at Hastings, and Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six for N64. I’m not sure I expected to hear “Tom Clancy” on SmackDown. Mankind recommends going to pick up the New York Times and checking the bestseller list where you’ll find ex-Presidents, Presidential hopefuls, the first man to walk on the moon, two Pulitzer Prize winners, and a certain masked wrestler at #1. He says it is hard to enjoy it though when his two best friends are at each other’s throats. Jericho interrupts Mankind to tell him Al and Rock both hate him just like he does. He challenges Mankind and suggests naming the first chapter of HIS book about Mike Foley.

Jericho starts things with a serious of slaps, Mankind hammering out after being woken up and hitting a big knee to Jericho’s face before clotheslining him outside. Mankind tosses Y2J onto a chair and goes to hit him with another, Teddy Long grabbing it and Jericho dropkicking him. WWF Intercontinental Champion Chyna and Miss Kitty head to ringside so Jerry Lawler can be a perv and Chyna can smack Jericho with the title. Mankind accidentally knocks Kitty off the apron; Jericho rolls him up to steal the win.

Chris Jericho pins Mankind. This was pretty good. These two work well together and both were very good, as always, on the mic. I’d like to see a longer version.

Here’s a look back at Stone Cold being hit by a car at the Survivor Series. We have medical results finally and he’ll be undergoing neck surgery.

Test arrives, asking where Stephanie McMahon might be.

Kurt Angle & Steve Blackman vs The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher)

Is there a greater pairing than Angle & Blackman? Doubtful. Angle offers a handshake, Blackman ignores it. Angle and Blackman face each other at Armageddon, the Bangers are in a #1 contender’s battle royal. Angle and Mosh start it out, Mosh and Thrasher working over Angle well to begin. Blackman comes in to throw a kick and shove Angle out. The Bangers continue to keep the lead, Thrasher hitting a nice scoop slam on Angle. Things break down and Blackman kicks Thrasher into an Angle Slam.

Kurt Angle pins Thrasher, Kurt Angle & Steve Blackman defeat The Headbangers. This was fun. Angle is over the top and a frustrated Blackman is a good pairing with him and the Bangers brought it.

Test walks in and Stephanie McMahon hugs him. She doesn’t know what to say to him, apparently not having used a phone since Monday to call her potential husband. “Do you still love me?” “Steph, I don’t know what to feel any more.” He leaves and Stephanie cries, as one does.

After break, Vince is consoling Stephanie. “Give him some time,” suggests dad.

Special Challenge Match: Crash Holly (with Hardcore Holly) vs Rikishi Phatu (with Too Cool)

Hardcore joins the commentary team. Why is it a special challenge match? Because Tony Chimel says so. Crash attacks and is quickly stomped down in the corner. Rikishi catches him with a RKO, slams him, and hits the sit-down piledriver for the easy win. Rikishi and Too Cool dance to celebrate.

Rikishi Phatu pins Crash Holly. Exactly what it needed to be, Rikishi continuing to be awesome.

The Rock vs Al Snow (with Head)

Michael Cole tells us about a special online mail-in order form we can print for tickets to WrestleMania 2000. Rock’s ovations continue to dwarf everything else on this show. Finally, The Rock has come back to Anaheim. Rock asks for the footage of Al attacking him earlier. Rock promises to meet Al at the ramp and whip his monkey ass all over Anaheim. In front of the millions (and millions), he’s going to hit the People’s Elbow if you smell-la-la-la-low what The Rock is cooling.

Sure enough, Rock meets Al at the ramp and tosses him in the ring. Rock tosses Al back to ringside and slams him into the announce table, then Al slings Rock into the referee. Al takes a chair to Rocky and tries for a cover, Mike Chioda slowly coming in and counting a two count. Snow hits a moonsault for another two. Rock fights back, People’s Elbow, quick pin. Snow knocks Rock down with Head after the match and the New Age Outlaws join in the beatdown. Mankind eventually makes it out for the save, threatening Al with a chair.

The Rock pins Al Snow. It was fine. Nobody was believing Al was beating Rock right now. This is a story-builder anyway as we continue to figure out who wants to be friends with Mankind.

D-Generation X (WWF World Tag Team Champions Road Dogg & Mr. Ass and X-Pac) vs WWF Champion Big Show and The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy with Terri Runnels)

If you missed last week’s Hardys/Outlaws cage match, go check it out. Matt and Ass begin, doing some pretty solid wrestling before Ass rolls out. Jeff and Dogg tag in and Dogg gets the advantage there, Jeff is able to eventually fight away and tag Show. X-Pac is also tagged in but Show’s destroying all challengers, tossing Pac onto the Outlaws. Dogg leaps OVER Ass and lands on the top rope, then climbs Show’s shoulders with a Senton onto Billy. Great sequence. The Hardys were next level compared to everything else at the time. Matt rolls up X-Pac with as sunset flip and gets the surprise win.

Matt Hardy pins X-Pac, Big Show & The Hardy Boyz defeat DX. A really entertaining match, especially once Show got the mega-hot tag. Watch this one.

Big Boss Man runs out and takes down the good guys with the nightstick before leaving them with DX. The Rock and Mankind come for the save and Kane follows, ending our show with the good guys on top of their Armageddon opponents.

Another good episode in a string of thing. WWF was getting really hot as the calendar closed on the year and we built to the Rumble. The Rock is absolutely on fire, Kurt Angle is taking off, the Hardys are blowing up, and even the stuff that isn’t great is short. It’s a fun time to watch.