WWF SmackDown Rewind: 11.04.99 – “Mankind Explores Philadelphia’s Clubs”

Previously on SmackDown: Big Show attempts to murder Big Boss Man and Prince Albert with a forklift, Stone Cold uses hunting traps to trick DX, and Viscera offers his finest women to Mark Henry.

We start with D-Generation X (WWF Champion Triple H, Road Dogg, Mr. Ass and X-Pac) in the locker room. They have a VHS copy of Raw and they’re watching their attack of The Rock, Vince McMahon confronting them, and X-Pac telling Tori that Kane’s penis was burned intercut with footage of lions having sex. We also see them attacking Kane, Shane tackling Triple H and Triple H facing Shane in the ring. All of this is intercut with DX making “funny” comments. This segment of DX watching a video runs for five minutes and feels like fifteen.

Opening video! Fireworks! The Ovaltron! Tonight, we’re taped and in Philadelphia at the First Union Center. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show.

WWF World Tag Team Championship: WWF World Tag Team Champions Hardcore & Crash Holly vs Mankind & Al Snow

Cole starts talking about the WWF being attacked by the news media, specifically Walmart pulling the Al Snow action figure due to the Head accessory looking like a decapitated woman’s head according to a Georgia professor. Lawler claims that Walmart hasn’t been the same since Sam Walton died.

Oh, there’s also a match to go with this speech about things in the news. Snow and Hardcore start it out, Crash quickly tags in and we see Val Venis watching on from backstage. On Raw, Venis burned Mankind’s books. Snow suplexes Crash and is clotheslined behind the ref’s back by Hardcore. The Hollys double team Snow and work over him for a bit. Hardcore does have a beautiful dropkick. We get about three minutes of the Hollys working over Snow before Snow knocks Hardcore off the top rope and suplexes him. Crash and Mankind both tag in, Mankind a house of fire. Mankind hooks Socko and the Mandible Claw onto Crash, Hardcore breaking it up quickly. All four men brawl. Mankind double arm DDTs a busted open Crash and gets the pin.

Mankind pins Crash Holly, Mankind & Al Snow are the new WWF World Tag Team Champions. The match was slow but the ending was hot. I’m sure a lot of this was in response to the action figure thing, but I’m glad Snow got the moment.

Jim Ross is talking to Stone Cold Steve Austin backstage about hunting. Austin would rather talk about Raw and JR saying that he hopes Vince accidentally hitting Shane on Raw was an accident. JR says it was accidental and a reflection on Vince doing things purposely in the past.

Mankind and Al Snow celebrate in the locker room with The Hardy Boyz, Edge & Christian, Blue Meanie and uh some other dude. They celebrate with some milk before Mankind leaves to find Val.

Test vs D’Lo Brown

Let’s take a look back at Raw as Stephanie McMahon proposes in the ring to Test, having fully recovered her memory. Cole announces that the wedding will be November 29th at the Staples Arena on Raw. The Mean Street Posse (Joey Abs, Rodney and Pete Gas) immediately enter on the ramp and are mic’ed up, talking about Test, including the possibility of “ass warts” due to his leather pants and Test having “flamingo legs.” There’s a match going on as well, going back and forth until Test nails a big boot. D’Lo hits a crossbody and the legdrop for a two count. D’Lo goes up and hits an ax handle but falls, grabbing his left knee. The referee holds Test back and Test goes to check on him, D’Lo rolling Test up for the pin. D’Lo continues to favor and hold the knee after the match, Test helping him up.

D’Lo Brown pins Test. You know what? Good for D’Lo. Smart. This was mostly just a segment for the Posse’s comments.

Mankind comes across the Acolytes (Bradshaw and Faarooq) who call him a freak.

JR is talking with The Rock about the same thing as earlier. He gives the same answer to Rock. Rock promises to take his cowboy hat, fill it up with monkey piss, turn it sideways and anally insert it if JR is lying. Well, I’m sure JR will never have any other anal-related issues on WWF TV.

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week brought to you by Lugz. The Hardys and Edge & Christian fly a lot on Raw and defeat the Hollys and Too Cool.

The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy with Terri) vs Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay)

The names have officially evolved this week for Too Cool. The pops are starting to get loud for the Hardys, something they’ll do more and more for the rest of their careers. The Hardys whip Sexay into Scotty and Matt gets a pin attempt on Scotty. Lawler endlessly makes Terri comments as Jeff flies over the top rope and onto Scotty. Sexay hits a powerbomb onto the floor with Jeff. Terri checks on Jeff, Sexay grabs her ass and then Scotty does the same, Lawler of course loving it because he’s a creep. “You know that was cool,” Lawler tells Cole. Sexay puts on the goggles and runs right into the turnbuckle, Scotty tagging in as does Matt. Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Scotty, Sexay breaks it up and hits a facebuster on Matt. Jeff flies over the top onto Sexay, Taylor hits the Worm on Matt. Terri hops on the apron and Scotty moonwalks over to him, Terri slapping him. Jeff hits a Swanton and that’s your pin.

Jeff Hardy pins Scotty 2 Hotty, The Hardy Boyz defeat Too Cool. I really liked this match. Both teams are continuing to grow into their roles and outside of Lawler and the slight sexual assault outside of the ring, the match was entertaining.

Mankind is backstage, still searching for Val Venis. He finds four women instead, telling them “hugs not drugs.” They let him know that he could find Val Venis at Delilah’s. He scratches his ass as he walks off, perhaps in need of Dude Wipes.

Tori and Kane talk to JR. Yeah, they’re a thing now. JR explains what he said on Raw for the third time tonight. Kane nods and leaves.

A promo vignette announces Olympic Medalist Kurt Angle, who tells us he is dedicated and stays focused on one goal. He tells us about the three I’s – intensity, integrity, and intelligence. We’ll hear more from this youngster in the future.

A limo arrives and out walks WWF Chairman Vince McMahon, 35 minutes late to his own show.

WWF European Championship: WWF European Champion British Bulldog (with Mean Street Posse) vs Edge

Tonight, SmackDown is brought to you by LEGO MindStorms, WWF The Music Vol. 4 at Wherehouse Music, and Arizona Jean Co. Edge gets the advantage before Bulldog knocks him over the top rope. Christian shows up to support Edge as Bulldog attacks. Even more company appears as The Headbangers (Mosh & Thrasher) head out on the ramp, apparently having an issue with the Posse going back to this past week’s Heat. Bulldog holds Edge up with a ten-second standing suplex and gets a two count. Edge catches Bulldog with a heel kick and and a flying clothesline. Edge dropkicks Bulldog to the outside and Christian DDTs Bulldog and rolls him in. Edge spears Bulldog and gets a two before Joey Abs comes in, signaling the DQ. All eight men brawl in the ring and you know, we just happen to have two teams of four men a few weeks before the Survivor Series. And yes, the eight men end up in three different matches instead of the same match at Survivor Series in two weeks.

Edge defeats British Bulldog by disqualification, British Bulldog retains the European Title. This hummed along pretty well for the few minutes we got it, though the result was pretty obvious.

JR gets his fourth segment of the show, talking to WWE Chairman Vince McMahon who is mad about JR’s Raw commentary. JR again says he made a mistake. Vince questions and JR thinks what Vince did was an accident and he just wants to do his job, apologizing. Vince accepts. I’m sure JR will never have issues with Vince on WWF TV again.

We go to Delilah’s, a place that still exists and describes itself as “the premiere entertainment destination for business travelers, celebrities, and uninhibited Philadelphian’s alike.” Yes, it’s a strip club. Mankind finds the manager and tells him that the Godfather’s hoes told him Val could be here. The club manager: “YOU KNOW THE GODFATHER’S HOES?” Amazing line delivery. He tells Mankind that Val isn’t there, Mankind offers a Washington and declines a dance, thinking Val is “at that other place.”

We have reached our D-Generation X in-ring segment of the week as WWF Champion Triple H, Road Dogg, Mr. Ass and X-Pac join us. X-Pac has chosen Tommy Hilfiger overalls and a denim bucket hat tonight and has his Hansen’s Energy Drink with him. Triple H talks about how cool DX is and how the world loves them. A woman holds up a sign that says “I have a bone for Road Dogg.” HHH makes Kane penis jokes. Lots more talking. So much. HHH offers up footage of his match against Shane, something we already spent five minutes reviewing to start the show. We also cover JR wondering Vince hitting Shane was an accident.

HHH introduces “the newest member of DX”, Vince McMahon. Vince comes out and the microphone keeps cutting out, HHH wondering why things don’t work in a company that is making millions on the stock market. Vince: “I’d rather join WCW than join DX!” Vince announces an eight-man elimination match tonight with DX against Shane, Kane, The Rock and Stone Cold.

We head to the Fantasy Room, a club that does not look to exist in 2026 on Google. It offers “2 girl shows” and “S&M shows.” Mankind opens a door and finds a naked woman. He peeps in another room – a peep room – and finds a man. The hunt continues.

The Godfather vs Chris Jericho

A man holds up a sign that simply says “HOS.” At least he’s up front about his interets. Godfather’s women all have his new WWF tee that say “Just Say Ho!” on them. Jericho interrupts the women stripping off their shirts. “Nobody came here to see a bunch of scantily-clad young women dance,” says Jericho. He segues that into nobody wanting to see a woman as champion, calling Chyna frail and promising to let her be his “own personal ho” after their Survivor Series match. “I also know you like to lay on your back; hell you’ve slept with half the boys in the dressing room already.” Sheesh. He promises to make her get on her knees, pucker her lips and kiss his new Intercontinental Title.

WWF Intercontinental Champion Chyna and Miss Kitty watch from backstage as Jericho and Godfather go back and forth, Lawler refusing to believe that Chyna would have a sexual crush on anyone. A fifth woman appears as Jericho catches Jericho with a Lionsault. The new woman leads the others into the ring and is, that’s right, Stevie Richards. He superkicks Jericho as Michael Cole has now figured out that the woman that looks like Stevie Richards is indeed Stevie Richards. Godfather pins Jericho somewhere in this mess.

The Godfather pins Chris Jericho. Well, this was certainly a segment that happened. The women dance with Tim White and smother him on the mat to celebrate.

Lilian Garcia has caught Stevie Richards backstage. He says Chyna is muscular, athletic, and “one big piece of ass.” Poor Chyna.

Vince is talking with Shane McMahon who tells Vince to not worry about the JR comment. Vince is going to go find Stone Cold.

We’re continuing our tour of Philadelphia nightlife, Mankind now leaving Charlie’s Dream Erotic Show Bar, offering “couch dancing” and VHS 3 for $14.95. What a deal! It still exists but is now the Dream Boutique, a place which has a sea of Yelp reviews including Richard, who notes, “Oh yeah, a lot of fun stuff at that place love sharing my time with my beautiful wife while she’s with other men especially homeless man.” Well alright. My poor search history. Mankind takes too long inside and then chases after his car which is being towed as he leaves.

Nokia presents the 1999 Survivor Series. “It’s wired technology with a human touch!”

Stone Cold is talking to a woman who is also wearing camo but heads into his locker room when Vince walks up.

Al Snow is still pouring milk over his head and has bored Meanie. Val Venis attacks, the others just watching. What great friends. As he leaves, he finds the Godfather’s women and thanks them for delivering a message.

Vince knocks on Kane’s door and gets Tori instead, asking her to wish Kane good luck tonight.

WWF Hardcore Champion Big Boss Man vs Big Show

We look back at Raw as Boss Man and Albert gas Big Show’s locker room and then attack him with gas masks. Non-title. This is immediately a brawl, and you know this isn’t ending cleanly. Boss Man runs outside, Show chases after him. After one minute, we hit the double countout. Show beats down Boss Man and hits the chokeslam before Prince Albert runs out, receiving a chokeslam of his own. Dave Hebner comes in to try to break it all up and gets a chokeslam. Sgt. Slaughter gets a chokeslam. Tony Garea gets a chokeslam. Well now I’m curious about Sgt. Slaughter vs Big Show.

Big Show and Big Boss Man wrestle to a double countout. The match didn’t really happen but the end was fun.

Vince wishes Rock luck.

And now, JVC Kaboom Box presents the JVC Kaboom of the Week. Vince accidentally hits Shane with the title on Raw and JR wonders if it was an accident, something we’ve seen 48 times on this episode.

Eight-Man Elimination Tag Match: D-Generation X (WWF Champion Triple H, Road Dogg, Mr. Ass & X-Pac) vs Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Shane McMahon and Kane

We have about ten minutes left in the show after entrances for this one, but you’re silly if you think this won’t involve shenanigans. Shane spears Dogg to start us off. DX isolates Shane in the corner and X-Pac tags in to work him over. HHH tags in and DX continue working over Shane. Kane gets the tag in as does X-Pac, Kane working over all four members of DX. All eight men come in and all hell breaks lose. As the men brawl outside, Kane hits X-Pac with a flying clothesline. Mr. Ass low blows and hits a Fame Asser on Kane, followed by an X-Factor by X-Pac. X-Pac eliminates Kane.

Kane chokeslams X-Pac on his way out. Shane runs in for a two count. Vince McMahon heads toward the ring as Shane misses a Bronco Buster and we take a rare SmackDown in-match commercial break.

We return to Shane spearing X-Pac. X-Pac hits a Bronco Buster and pins Shane. X-Pac eliminates Shane McMahon. Rock is next in and is taken down by X-Pac. The Outlaws double team Rock. Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Road Dogg and The Rock eliminates Road Dogg. Superman X-Pac is back in and hits a spinning wheel kick for a two on Rock. Cole promises elimination matches this exciting at Survivor Series and that is not a thing that happens. Ass jackhammers Rock for a two count as Vince glares. X-Pac tags in – “well rested” says Cole about the man who was just in half a minute ago and for most of the match – and walks into a DDT. Austin gets the hot tag and takes down every man moving before walking into X-Pac’s spinning heel kick. X-Pac still gets a Stunner and Steve Austin eliminates X-Pac.

We’re down to four. Austin stomps a mudhole in the corner on Ass and tags in Rock. Rock tries for the People’s Elbow but is hit by Triple H. Ass rolls up Rock, Rock reverses it. The Rock eliminates Mr. Ass. Triple H hits a quick Pedigree on The Rock. Triple H eliminates The Rock.

Austin and Triple H remain. As Earl Hebner tries to get The Rock to leave, Austin and HHH take each other down. Vince grabs a chair and HHH grabs it from him, so Vince grabs the WWF Title and accidentally hits Stone Cold instead of Triple H. Hebner returns to count the pinfall. Triple H eliminates Steve Austin, D-Generation X win the elimination match.

Austin goes after McMahon, Triple H hits Austin with the belt to lay him out. Did Vince McMahon hit Stone Cold on purpose? Tune in next week when the story will have rolled onto something else!

More often than not, I enjoyed tonight’s episode though it felt like three hours instead of two. The elimination match was fun as was Edge/Bulldog. On the other hand, the JR stuff took up a lot of the show and yes, the Jericho stuff towards Chyna was rough. I’d recommend most of this one.

Actually, next week: Arnold! A rematch of tonight’s main event but with Test instead of Austin! Three title matches that are less than six minutes combined!