WWF SmackDown! Rewind: 09.23.99 – “Triple H’s Five Gimmick Matches”

Previously on SmackDown: With the help of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vince McMahon wins the WWF Championship. Al Snow wins the Pepper on a Pole match to take home the remains of Pepper in a doggie bag. Jeff Jarrett attacks Chyna, Cindy Margolis, and Fabulous Moolah.

Fireworks explode around the Ovaltron! We are taped and in Dallas, Texas at the sold-out Reunion Arena. We are three days away from Unforgiven.

“No Chance” starts our show with WWF Chairman Vince McMahon. On Raw, he forfeited the WWF Championship he won last week and regained full control of WWE. He wants to introduce us to the man who thinks he will win the Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven.

Enter Triple H alongside Chyna to the tune of “My Time,” a song I’m sure we won’t hear for the rest of the night. Vince calls attention to the fans chanting “asshole.” “Now that I’ve gained full control of the World Wrestling Federation, that’s not good for you.” He promises to give Triple H a migraine tonight and won’t hold a grudge. He is, of course, holding a grudges and says he is getting even. Instead of waiting for the Six Pack Challenge, Triple H is facing all of his opponents tonight. Not collectively though but individually. Triple H will have a Brahma Bullrope match against The Rock, a casket match against Undertaker, a Boiler Room Brawl against Mankind, an Inferno Match against Kane and a Chokeslam Challenge against Big Show. He was to win three of the five to keep his place in the match at Unforgiven. Why yes, Vince Russo was still around but in his final weeks before leaving.

Chokeslam Challenge Match: Triple H (with Chyna) vs Big Show

Harvey Wippleman is referee as the refs are still on strike. HHH takes a big check chop in the corner and Show slings him across the ring. HHH tries for a chokeslam and naturally can’t lift Show. Show counters with his own chokeslam and there’s the win. Triple H is 0-1.

Big Show defeats Triple H by chokeslam. Show gives a second chokeslam and goes for a third, Chyna distracting long enough for Triple H to leave. There wasn’t a lot to this but I hope you’re not expecting much out of five gimmick matches in two hours.

Our commentary team, Michael Cole and Michael Hayes, greet us from ringside. Also, tonight it’s a First Blood Match as Chris Jericho faces Ken Shamrock. You know what this show needed? More gimmick matches!

Earlier today, the referee strike continued. The Dudley Boyz attack Teddy Long and Hayes tells us it was to prove a point to Faarooq, mentioned that they had a past.

Celebrities! They love SmackDown! Stanley Cup Champion Brett Hull is at ringside.

Lilian Garcia is with Chris Jericho. He’s issued the First Blood challenge because he doesn’t want to wait until Unforgiven to end Shamrock’s career and you will never, eeeever see the blood of Y2J.

WWF European Title: WWF European Champion Mark Henry vs X-Pac (with Hansen’s Energy Drink)

X-Pac hands his Hansen’s to Tony Chimel for the crotch chops. Tonight, SmackDown is brought to you by Championship Motocross for PlayStation, new Crispy M&M’s and by Wavesmusic dot com. That URL is available for purchase if you’d like old SmackDown viewers like me to get curious and find your site. D’Lo Brown, Henry’s challenger at Unforgiven, has joined us on commentary. Tom Pritchard is our referee. X-Pac chops away at Mark but is tossed into the air like he’s nothing. Mark hooks the bearhug for a bit, X-Pac escapes and Henry misses an elbow drop. X-Pac spins those kicks in the corner and hits the Bronco Buster to the crowd’s delight. Henry rallies back with a clothesline and gets heel kicked to the outside. Pritchard counts Henry out, Henry retains the title. Henry and Brown battle at ringside.

X-Pac defeats Mark Henry by countout. Henry looked like a putz being counted out and X-Pac looked like a goober celebrating his Lex Luger SummerSlam victory. This didn’t really help anyone.

Lilian is with Luna Vachon who has a Women’s Title shot against Ivory at Unforgiven. Luna is excited to finally get a chance and wants Ivory to make it hardcore.

WWF Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett and Miss Kitty join us in the arena. Here’s a look at Raw where he put Debra in the figure-four after being pinned by Stephanie McMahon in a mixed tag match. Jeff introduces himself as a man’s man. “Men are dominant and women are weak” (Hayes agrees) and he plans to bitchslap Chyna at Unforgiven. Debra entered his world and now she’s at home. He notices a female stage manager at ringside and tells her to get into the ring and clean up her papers. As you’d expect, he pushes her over and hooks the figure-four. Chyna runs out with a frying pan and smacks Jarrett over the head, sticking it in Jarrett’s hand and putting an apron on him. She also steals his tights and puts them on herself. “You see Jeff at Unforgiven, you’re gonna see who is wearing the pants.”

Kane is walking and he has an Inferno Match tonight.

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week brought to you by Lugz. On Raw, Kane takes down Big Show and Mideon.

Inferno Match: Kane vs Triple H (with Chyna)

Chyna is having an even busier night than Triple H. The first man to be set on fire loses. HHH is in his tights and Kane in his full body gear, so you can probably guess how this goes. The flames roar and Kane hits a big boot. Kane pushes HHH towards the fire but Triple H elbows out. Triple H hits facebuster and flying knee. He rolls Kane towards the flames but Kane battles back with a chokeslam attempt. HHH lowblows and is backdropped out of a Pedigree attempt. Kane hits the chokeslam and calls for a Tombstone as we see X-Pac tossed out onto the ring entrance. Undertaker, Viscera and Mideon follow and we see that X-Pac is bloodied. Kane dives over the top rope onto Mideon and Viscera, battling them until Viscera shoves Kane glove-first into the fire. Kane runs off to check on X-Pac, hand still on fire.

Triple H defeats Kane by… fire, I guess. HHH goes to 1-1 as the medics put his flaming hand out.

After a break, Kane is backstage with X-Pac (who is not getting any medical attention).

Elsewhere, Undertaker tells Lilian and his guys that their job is done. He tells Lilian that nobody orders him into things he doesn’t want to do and there will be no casket match tonight. Vince appears and tells Taker that if he doesn’t participate, he’s out of Unforgiven. Taker thinks maybe he won’t be participating in anything around here.

WWF World Tag Team Champion The Rock is next in the arena and gets his usual gigantic pop. Finally, The Rock has come back to Dallas. He thinks Triple H’s game absolutely sucks. He points out the hockey players at ringside and wants to do something special for Dallas. He’s going to borrow the Stanley Cup, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways and stick it straight up Triple H’s candy ass.

That’s our cue for WWF Tag Team Champion Mankind to join us. He doesn’t know a lot about Stanley but he does have a cup, offering Rock a protective cup. He hopes to have a Rocky Junior running around the ring. Well, what about a Mayor Ava? He knows the boiler room and has a special metal pipe in it. He’s going to take it, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways and hit Hunter right over the head with it. Our next interruption is Road Dogg. After going through his intro, he thinks they are overlooking that they have gold and that means something to him. He has made reservations at the SmackDown Hotel but he’s brought a partner, Mr. Ass. The New Age Outlaws have reunited. Mankind accepts the match right now.

WWF World Tag Team Champions: WWF World Tag Team Champions The Rock & Mankind vs The New Age Outlaws (Mr. Ass and Road Dogg)

Ass and Mankind start it off in the corner. Dogg tags in and gets tossed right into Rock’s boot. Rock puts the boots to Road Dogg. A Samoan Drop gets two for Rock as Michael Hayes just can’t believe the Outlaws are back together. Mankind tags back in and they double team Dogg. Mankind whips Dogg into the barricade and Hayes wonders if we can trust Mr. Ass. Dogg dodges a splash and runs into an elbow. Rock punches Dogg in the balls and tags Mankind in. Rock gets a desperation backdrop on Mankind and gets the tag to Ass who unloads on Rock. Ass hits a nice corner splash and then goes down to a clothesline by Rock. Mankind tags in and things fall apart with all four men brawling in the ring. Mankind is whipped into Rock and Ass hits a Fame Asser, getting the pin and the tag team titles.

Billy Gunn pins Mankind, The New Age Outlaws are the new WWF World Tag Team Champions. This was a good little tag match. 1999 Mr. Ass was hot when he got going. Dogg does the Outlaws intro again to the crowd’s delight and Billy tells us that if we aren’t down with it, we should suck it.

McMahon is talking to Mideon and Viscera. They’ll be taking Undertaker’s place in the casket match. Meanwhile, Triple H tells Chyna that Vince isn’t going to break him down.

Casket Match: Triple H (with Chyna) vs Mideon & Viscera

Triple H is 1-1 and needs to win two of the three matches he has left. Harvey is again our referee. HHH is quickly double teamed as Cole notes the fatigue of HHH. HHH drops Mideon with the knee and Viscera takes the advantage back. Viscera accidentally splashes Mideon and Chyna appears to low-blow big Vis, HHH pedigreeing him and then Mideon. Mideon is rolled into the casket and HHH closes it, winning the match until “No Chance” leads out Shane McMahon. Shane tells HHH he has to beat both men in the casket match at the same time and the match continues.

Viscera gets the splash on HHH and does two more of them. Mideon rolls HHH into the casket and Mideon closes the lid.

Mideon and Viscera defeat Triple H in a casket match. HHH falls to 1-2 and has to defeat The Rock and Mankind later on.

Lilian is with WWF Women’s Champion Ivory. She’s concerned of getting in the ring with Luna but now that her title has dignity and class, she accepts the hardcore challenge. I have zero memories of the match but I want to check it out.

Hardcore Match: WWF Hardcore Champion Al Snow vs Hardcore Holly (with Crash Holly)

You know what? We needed a gimmick match here. We look back at Raw with Hardcore smashing a glass pitcher over Big Boss Man’s head. This is non-title as Al has Kennel From Cell this Sunday at Unforgiven. I’m sure it’ll be great! Al beats down Holly to start, Holly gets his beautiful dropkick and a headlock to even it up. We cut backstage and see the Big Boss Man yelling at the dogs that are locked in a vehicle. Snow powerbombs Hardcore and Crash comes in to get smacked with a banking pan. Jimmy Korderas has crossed the picket line and is referee, noticing just in time to count Holly pinning Snow. Big Boss Man runs out with a chain and a can of Alpo dog food, shoving it into Snow’s mouth. Boss Man has a hell of a shiner from Raw.

Hardcore Holly pins Al Snow. There wasn’t much to this, and it wasn’t particularly good. It would, somehow, get worse for Boss Man and Snow.

Boiler Room Brawl: Triple H vs Mankind

Tom Pritchard lets HHH in and Mankind attacks. The first to escape wins. HHH smacks Mankind with a metal bucket and into a door, battling up a set of stairs. He grabs one of the clangy poles and beats Mankind with it. They fight around the corner and Mankind runs HHH into a transformer box. HHH drops a bag of nuts and bolts and suplexes Mankind right on top of them. HHH crawls to the door, Mankind crawls behind him. Mankind tosses HHH into a steel case and hooks Socko in. HHH fades and Mankind releases, waving and heading to the door. As we come back from replay, Mankind is on top of a roof and is hit by a pole, crashing through a table and what look to be pool noodles. HHH crawls to and out the door.

Triple H defeats Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl. This was fine. Probably the best of the four Triple H matches so far tonight. HHH goes to 2-2.

Ken Shamrock is putting on the tape, and he’ll be out next.

British Bulldog is walking and looking for Vince. Nice of him to show up tonight.

First Blood Match: Ken Shamrock vs Chris Jericho (with Curtis Hughes)

And now our sixth gimmick match of the night. Unforgiven is brought to you by Magic The Gathering! As the countdown ends and the lights go up, Jericho is in full Buffalo Sabres gear, helmet and all. Y2J tries to attack with the hockey stick but Shamrock ducks. Shamrock tosses Jericho across the ring and to the outside, slamming Jericho helmet-first into the steel post and stairs. Why wouldn’t Shamrock just pull the helmet off? Then he does as Curtis Hughes runs in and is clotheslined. Jericho ducks out and grabs the hockey stick, smacking it over Shamrock’s arm as referee Harvey Wippleman watches. Hughes holds Jericho who dives onto Shamrock, Wippleman calling for the bell. We see that Shamrock is bleeding from the mouth with another case of internal bleeding.

Chris Jericho defeats Ken Shamrock in a First Blood match. Pretty lame match with a lame result, but I’m not sure why these two needed to be in the ring so much before their Unforgiven match in the first place.

Vince is talking to a suited Bulldog. Bulldog tells Vince that he promised him a title shot and he wants it. Vince offers Bulldog a spot in the six-pack challenge and Bulldog is in. He wants to do Vince a favor in exchange, offering to be guest referee for the bullrope match.

Brahma Bullrope Match: The Rock vs Triple H (with Chyna) with special guest referee British Bulldog

Bulldog has the sleeves cut off his ref shirt, of course. They gave him the most generic, un-Bulldog music they could have come up with in 1999. HHH is 2-2 tonight and has to win this to be in the six-pack challenge. HHH straps up and it is a pinfall counts anywhere match. The go to the outside and HHH is run right into the announce table and over the barricade and they brawl through the crowd. Lots of punching. Rock tosses HHH back into the ringside area and into the table again. HHH goes into the stairs and Rock gets a two count on the outside mat.

Back in the ring, HHH and Bulldog get into a shoving match. Rock brawls back out with Triple H to the outside and they battle up the ramp to the Ovaltron. As Chyna watches from ringside, Jeff Jarrett appears with a frying pan and knocks her out, putting the figure-four on her and leaving. The competitors just wrestle past her knocked out body and fight back in the ring, HHH being pulled into a Rock Bottom. Bulldog clotheslines Rock and rips his shirt open, snatching up Bulldog and hitting the running powerslam. HHH has removed his end of the bullrope and Pedigrees Rock, Bulldog counting a three. Triple H advances to Unforgiven. HHH, Bulldog and the revived Chyna celebrate on the ramp to end the show.

Triple H pins The Rock in a Brahma Bullrope Match to advance to the Unforgiven Six-Pack Challenge. This wasn’t particularly good despite their ability to have good matches together. Granted, cramming all of these gimmick matches into one two-hour show didn’t give any of them time to work up much special.

This was certainly a show. Hey, do you like Triple H and Chyna? Boy, do we have the episode for you! And if Triple H in five gimmick matches isn’t enough to pull you in, what if we ALSO have two additional gimmick matches with other superstars AND make two of the guys in the Triple H matches have a tag match?

As well reported, Vince Russo’s WWF creative burnout hit hard with the introduction of SmackDown. He signed with WCW on October 3 after a dispute with Vince McMahon about the increased workload of SmackDown on top of Raw (Nitro and Thunder were the same lengths). With that, we’re in the final WWF weeks of Russo and you can feel it. Even with the McMahon filter, we sat through seven different gimmick matches – unadvertised before the show – in a two-hour broadcast. Especially at the breakneck speed of 1999 WWF where 82 things happen in one show, there was no way any of them were getting the time a big gimmick match should get. The Boiler Room Brawl was the best of the set while everything else outside of the tag title match was “meh” at best. Everything was thrown at the wall this week and very little stuck.

Next week: The fallout of Unforgiven and Raw! The Terri Invitational Tournament!