Joshi Spotlight: The ARSION/BattlArts Kings & Queens Tournament

Imagine about 197 spots like this, mixed with male-on-female assaults, and you’ve got this show.

https://archive.org/details/arsion-battlarts-king-queen-tournament-03-12-2000

ARSION/BATTLARTS- KING & QUEEN TOURNAMENT:
(March 12th 2000)
* I found a random ARSION thing on Archive.org! And it’s… a dual show with BattlARTS? Or Battlarts. Which is one of those “Fake Shoot” companies. It’s a mix of ARSION stuff, BattlARTS stuff, and men vs. women matches which are sure to be comedic and not at all repulsive!

SO uh, if you spend any amount of time in Japan, you might find their late nite TV very… distinctive. When I did a school exchange there in 1998 or so, my friend and I marveled at how their late nite comedy was basically all perversion, with topless women and the gag being that guys would ogle them. This was clearly seen as the height of comedy, as immensely chauvinistic as it was. Naturally being like seventeen we thought it was the greatest thing ever. If you look at Shonen Manga (manga targeted at young boys to preteens) you get a lot of the same sort of thing- usually one prominent “pervert” character constantly feeling up enraged women, and that’s like… the entire gag. “LOL he’s a pervert and non-consensually grabs women, and sometimes takes a beating for it!”. This nowadays creates some disconnect when the works are published here because now 2025 Western society is all “OMG” about it (with… exceptions). BUT LIKE… this is sort of the culture in which this 2000 show is dropping. REMEMBER THAT.

KING AND QUEENS TOURNAMENT (Elimination Style/Battle Royal)- SEMI FINALS:
CANDY OKUTSU, AI FUJITA & YUKI ISHIKAWA vs. ETSUKO MITA, KAW*KAW & TAKESHI ONO:
* So it’s a tournament made up of what looks like randomized teams, though one has two women and the other just one. Yuki is a Plain Undies Puro Guy, teaming with the CAZAI members Candy and Ai. KAW*KAW (there’s a star between KAWs) is some dude in a black bodysuit & mask. Ono is a longtime BattlArts wrestler who moved to some indie I’ve never heard of (Fu-Ten?), and is some young dude with Arrogant Blond Hair, a scrawny body and black pants. He really has that Adam Cole look- the scrawny body with the big head.

Ishikawa immediately taps out KAW*KAW with a choke (0:11), then makes Mita corpse by trying to grapple her. She doesn’t appear to be taking this seriously, but Yuki then has Candy & Ai pull her arms apart on the ground so he can molest her. Having watched Japanese late-night TV in the past, this kind of gag does not surprise me, but Mita coming up looking nervous and upset, covering her chest while Ishikawa gestures delightedly at his molesting hand is not exactly the height of comedy. Candy tags in but gets wishboned by Mita & Ono, who proceeds to put his foot on her crotch and pull on her legs. Who agented this, Harvey Weinstein? Candy at least grabs his crotch to escape a rear naked choke and CAZAI works the nads for a while. Ono & Ishikawa go for a bit of matwork, Ishikawa catching a leg and heel-hooking him, but Mita pays him back by grinding his nuts for a while. Mita/Candy square off, Mita repeatedly nervously turning to Ishikawa in the corner to draw laughter. Candy hits a missile kick but Fujita needs to be saved, as Mita keeps contemptuously reversing everything she tries. Ishikawa headbutts Mita, but Fujita misses her moonsault and settles for a rana. CAZAI ends up holding Mita for THE MOLESTER, but he charges in with a hug and accidentally takes down Fujita, Mita mounting the pile for the pin at (8:10), eliminating Fujita.

Ono does plain mat-wrestling with Ishikawa and throws some decent kicks to him, but gets hung in the tree of woe and Candy stands on his nuts. Ono comes back and stretches her in a clutch as this is incredibly clunky- the different sizes and bodies are making this look like a “first day of wrestling school” thing. Mita hits a Blazing Chop on Candy and deliberately lets Ishikawa tag in, but gets backed into the corner and held in a slam… where Ishikawa keeps holding on and then puts her down delicately so he can smile and sniff his hand. Oh jesus. For that, Mita slaps him and spread-eagles him across the ropes so she can grind his nuts. Ono comes in for some weak punches and a running kick, but Fujita grabs his leg on the apron and he theatrically turns around to get enzuirigi’d by Ishikawa, and hits the floor at (12:24). Mita foils a double-team and Ono nearly pulls Candy out for an elimination (this is the point I realize it’s a battle royal too- I was confused why Ono was out before). Mita tries to hit the Death Valley Driver, but Ishikawa comes in and they push her out at (14:23)- Candy & Ishikawa win it!

This was HORRIBLE. Never mind the “molestation as comedy” aspect of it or men fighting women, but nearly all the “serious wrestling” was incredibly klutzy and poorly done, with execution problems throughout. Fujita kept trying stuff on Mita that got countered, and the kid almost seemed legitimately confused. Bumps were SUPER delicate and people appeared nervous and unsure of how to proceed in the match, even when wrestling someone of the same sex.

Rating: DUD (like a poorly-wrestled Comedy Match drawn to 15 minutes, combined with someone’s first day at wrestling school)

KING AND QUEENS TOURNAMENT (Elimination Style/Battle Royal)- SEMI FINALS:
ALEXANDER OTSUKA, MARIKO YOSHIDA & YUMI FUKAWA vs. MOHAMMED YONE, FABI APACHE & MARY APACHE:
* Otsuka is a bald guy in a yellow amateur-style singlet. Yone’s a burlier guy in brown boxing shorts and an afro. I feel like the second team here are uses as Jobbers of a sort given how Yoshida is one of the top people in ARSION and Fukawa has a bigger push than either Apache.

Otsuka wants Yone but then Yoshida tags in, her & Yone doing a decent sequence where she has all this technical skill but he’s just… physically way bigger so he can still get out of stuff. Otsuka comes in and they stretch him for Fukawa’s flying splash, and he eats an X-Factor (Fukawa grinning from ear to ear like she’s having an inordinate amount of fun doing this) and has to counter her leglock. Fukawa & Fabi roll around on the mat a bit, Fabi actually not being a giant screwup doing matwork, but then Yoshida hits a release double-arm thing where I THINK Fabi was supposed to do a face bump but instead lands on her feet and falls back like it hurts. Fabi does some SLICK spinning armdrags where she rolls across Yoshida’s back, then brings in Mari. Otsuka runs in with some babied headbutts (working SUPER light against a woman) and nearly powerbombs her, but the other team breaks up a triple-team and Mari ranas him for two. Otsuka’s team hits triple-submissions on their opponents but Yoshida gets the worst of an Apache double-team, eating two legdrops, Yone’s legdrop off the second rope, and a Michinoku Driver for two… except Yoshida doesn’t move an inch, and another Driver pins her at (7:00). Was that someone’s botch?

Otsuka saves Fukawa from Fabi and basically allows her to hit a jujigatame for the tap-out at (8:02), tying it up. Yone & Fukawa go, which looks absolutely ridiculous given Fukawa’s like 5’2″, and handily wins a test of strength one-handed, so Fukawa trips him up. When he comes back, Otsuka just boots him, but he easily overpowers Fukawa and cracks her with a kick to the back and a high knee flattens her- Otsuka saves. Fukawa/Mari go, Fukawa having to roll out of a bridging Rings of Saturn hold and hitting some running stuff, but Otsuka dropkicks his partner and Mari hits La Majistral for the pin at (10:35). Otsuka takes on Mari, again babying his shots as if he’s afraid to actually hurt her, and eventually he takes her down in an armlock, then just dumps her at (11:43). Well he IS way bigger so that should work. Yone & Otsuka charge one another, Yone clotheslining him over the top but getting headscissored out at (11:53)- Otsuka wins!

Okay, this was actually a MATCH. Still not great, but a lot of it looked more believable, like these big guys easily being able to escape the holds of more technically-proficient women by virtue of being larger, no gross “lol her crotch touched my hand *sniff*” spots, and falls that kinda made sense (a man striking a woman left her easily vulnerable to a move that otherwise might not have pinned).

JJC TOURNAMENT:
We see clips of other matches! Probably from a tournament! (I checked later and it indeed was!) A guy in banana yellow trunks & kickpads beats a guy in a white singlet with a heel hook! A guy in blue trunks & kickpads catches a guy in black leather shorts’ kick and also heel hooks him for the win! A guy in white & black biker shorts (Ikuto Hidaka!) hits a springboard wheel kick on a guy in a yellow & black mask, then hits the single worst Sliced Bread #2 ever, fucking up the backflip part of the backflip inverted ddt, yet still getting the pin. Oof, why leave that in? A guy in black pants and the ECW T-Shirt of Shame lands on his feet from a German and hits a run-up enzuigiri in a blue shorts/black kickpads guy and Germans him for the win. Next up, blue kickpads guy beats yellow trunks/kickpads guy (now in white) with two big head kicks. Blue biker shorts guy manages to pin t-shirt guy after both try rollups for a while. Finally, it’s the last match!:

JJC TOURNAMENT FINAL:
IKUTO HIDAKA vs. KATSUMI USUDA:
* Oh shit! Biker Shorts Guy was Hidaka! Remember him? From like… the last couple months ECW on TNN was a thing! ajiri I think had left and so they added another random Japanese guy who then didn’t really do anything else in North America. This was that guy! I remember lots of Ikuto Hidaka and Chilly Willy! Blue Kickpads Guy is thus Katsumi Usuda. Apparently he was the big star of the Junior division of BattlArts, feuding with Minoru Tanaka. He is now in all black.

Okay this looks more “Fake Shoot” to start, with both guys doing the “go to the mat and spin around a lot then separate so the fans can clap”. Usuda catches him with some headbutts and works a chinlock for a bit, then both fish for the dreaded Leg Hump and lie around in that “one guy pulls the other’s knee while the other one is behind him trying a chinlock” thing. Hidaka manages a good German but Usuda turns the kickout into a brutal-looking armlock that looks to snap Hidaka’s straight arm, then ends up behind him with a Fujiwara-ish armbar until Hidaka makes the ropes. Usuda puts him up top but takes a tornado DDT (lol that’s so out of place so far), and Hidaka’s wheel kick is caught and turned into a heel hook for a long fight to the ropes. Hidaka is fading, limping around in pain, so Usuda throws thigh-kicks before using the vulnerability to SMOKE him with a head kick for a “7” count.

Hidaka manages a lucky double-leg slam to buy himself some time, and hits a flying corkscrew senton and springboard wheel kicks, then a German into a Japanese Leg Roll Clutch for two. Hidaka dragon screws him off the top, they trade rollups, and finally Hidaka springboard dropkicks the knee to set up a rolling heel hook for a dramatic near-fall from Usuda. Usuda catches him with a spinning backfist as his knee is now fine, then launches a rolling leglock but Hidaka catches a kick and Ligerbombs him. But on the kickout Usuda puts on a jujigatame, and when Hidaka tries to break using his leg, Usuda grabs THAT and the Heel Hook finally finishes at (12:53), Hidaka tapping out. After the match, all the tournament participants come out, shake hands, hug, and pose in front of hte trophy, proud of their accomplishments. This display of sportsmanship, the respect they all have for each other… makes me sick! Someone should have been an ass and smashed the trophy!

man this promotion has such a weird identity, lol. Guys are trading RINGS/Pancrase-style “this is supposed to look real” stuff but one dude will pull hair and then whip out a tornado DDT and all the rope-break fights are the standard puro-style “long desperate struggle to the ropes” not “tap or die” like if it was supposed to “look real”. Then Hidaka teases a KO before fighting back with Pro Wrestling 101 stuff with highspots and flips like they weren’t both just pretending that the “grab the knee and pull back” move was a potential killer. The match didn’t really get over, though- neither guy seemed to have much charisma and wasn’t over in the first place, so the fans were mostly “politely watching” and barely popping for rope breaks. I did like some of the psychology, like luring guys in with stuff, and the finish was good with the heel hook (an MDK of BattlARTS judging by the other matches), as Usuda had one move, and used a counter he saw coming to get the hook- the move he wanted in the first place.

Rating: **1/2 (very solid throughout if not exactly exciting)

KING AND QUEENS TOURNAMENT (Elimination Style/Battle Royal)- FINAL MATCH:
ALEXANDER OTSUKA, MARIKO YOSHIDA & YUMI FUKAWA vs. CANDY OKUTSU, AI FUJITA & YUKI ISHIKAWA:
* It’s the tournament final!

Ishikawa OF COURSE wants to wrestle the girls again, but thankfully won’t molest Yoshida because she can grapple evenly with him, nearly tying him up a couple of times but he’s able to spin out. Yoshida has to grab the ropes first in the exchange (her kneebar countered to a heel hook) and tags in the dwarfish Fukawa of all people to take on the big guy. At which point Candy & Ai run in and wishbone her so Ishikawa can sit in delight at her crotch. THen OTSUKA comes in and gazes upon it, too. Ah, yes, this is definitely Japanese Late Nite TV. Yoshida swats Otsuka for that, and then Fukawa starts wrestling him for real, dropkicking the knee and working a chinlock, easily countered with leg stuff. Otsuka & Ishikawa do a brief shoot-ish exchange which turns into Ishikawa surfboarding him (lol I love going from shoot-style to a SURFBOARD) and then CAZAI runs in and grinds their boots into Otsuka’s crotch. More nut-work as Otsuka’s hung in the tree of woe… but Candy also testicular claws Ishikawa! Man WTF is going on? Then they pull off a 3-person Double Razor’s Edge/Whoopie Cushion for two, and Fujita works over Otsuka with a knee & amazing rana (funny how a much physically larger and stronger opponent magically makes Fujita’s offense look better- WONDER WHY?). Candy bites him and bullies him, but he easily comes back and Yoshida locks her in an STF. Candy hits two run-up missile kicks on Fukawa, but Ishikawa takes two jujigatames while Otsuka teabags him. Yoshida teases doing the same (the fans appear to be egging her on) but CAZAI convinces her not to, then the boys fight to the apron and Otsuka threatens to KISS Ishikawa, getting him to back up enough that the girls can kiss him instead, causing him to “faint” to the floor- the girls then pry his hands off the ring apron, Fukawa kissing his hand so he gazes upon it lovingly and is thus eliminated (11:19). I guess… that’s psychology?

Fukawa/Fujita go, Yumi getting a jujigatame attempt, then Fujita does a mysteriously great headscissors on Otsuka before he powers her into a spinning backbreaker- Candy kicks him in the balls to break but he manages an anklelock on Fujita to eliminate her (12:39). Then they all do the double-juji/teabag spot from before but it’s the WOMEN alternating it on an agrieved Candy, but when Otsuka teases it, she “bites” him, causing him to sell uproariously. Candy works over Fukawa and then like… clearly forgets what she was going to do or has no plan, as she hits a running big boot but moves her around the ring and just slams her and hits a crab. Now it’s just 2 minutes straight of alternating Boston & half-crabs. Lol why are they doing restholds now? Yoshida ends 2 minutes of that with a DDT & Sit-Out Pedigree (ah, that’s what she was doing before) for two-counts. Otsuka does a theatrical atomic drop on poor Candy, then does a Ric Flair counter to a go-behind and blasts her in the crotch… and she sells! Usually the gag is for the woman to sell all like “HAHAHAHA FOR YOU SEE, I HAVE NO TESTICLES!”. I get the feeling they’re completely lost as Otsuka just stares at her, then pushes her to the ropes and grabs her, gets missile kicked by Yumi by mistake, then Candy just casually boots down Yumi, who gets up and leaves like nothing happened. Yoshida accidentally boots Otsuka to the apron, and he hangs on until Candy bites his hands (19:10). Candy locks Fukawa in a double-chickenwing and then ISHIKAWA runs in, threatening to kiss her until she gives up (19:47). Just Candy & Yoshida left, now! Candy hits rollups, a lariat and a Ligerbomb for twos, but Yoshida finally counters to a painful-looking move wher eshe figure-fours the leg and then bends her for a Sharpshooter, finishing at (21:04). Yoshida, Fukawa & Otsuka win! I think the victory is a spa trip judging by the oversized photo they’re carrying.

About as good as 20 minutes of comedy spots was going to be. Endless molester spots plus “lol look at her crotch” plus 900 shots to the balls. The “kiss-based psychology” of eliminating Ishikawa was unique, I’ll give them that. Less good was getting utterly lost 12 minutes in, then doing restholds and everyone apparently forget all their spots. Like, the entire second half of the match looks like “…. fuck, what was the plan again?” like they ran through all their spots 12 minutes in and had to come up with more things.

Rating: 1/4* (some amusing spots but rapidly fell apart with confused-looking wrestlers amidst the horrifying spots)

WELL uhhhhhh say what you will about AJW/GAEA booking but I’ve never seen THAT out of them- spots where you might see it once or twice has been a thing in past men vs. women stuff I’ve seen from Japan but not tournaments full of molester/hentai spots with smirking dudes feeling up their female opponents while they scream in anger and fear. At least they took an even amount of testicle-based offense to make them “pay for it” but this is pretty much everything I saw on Japanese Late Nite TV as an endless running gag and nooooooooootttttt exactly the kind of thing you’d find acceptable today. Really I think you’d have to be under 21 to find this stuff amusing today.