Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera in ECW (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I was searching for a lucha 6-man but instead found the WWE Vault had uploaded the legendary Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera match from ECW’s Big Ass Extreme Bash! This is extremely interesting, as the match became a sort of internet legend and a big of a “sacred cow”, but I’ve never seen it, so I really wanted to see how it holds up to a modern lens! Is it a true lucha masterpiece! Or were fans overly impressed with a standard-issue spotfest because we’d never seen the style before? Watch and see if it holds up!

Next up, it’s a USWA team someone told me about- Meat & Potatoes, THE FAT BOYS! They take on jobber team The Intruder and The Invader in a match that makes a hash of tag team rules and the idea that wrestlers need cardiovascular training. Then it’s the NO LIMIT SOLDIERS in WCW as B.A. (Brad Armstrong) teams up with Swoll to take on the First Family- Hugh Morrus and LIGHTNING FOOT Jerry Flynn! And boy does THIS match not take on the image I was expecting! Over to WWF as I finally find room for ANOTHER JIM POWERS MATCH! Here he takes on the Undertaker in his first six months as a wrestler- I like Jimmy’s chances! Finally, it’s 1997 WCW with a clean-faced, short-haired JERRY LYNN as a job guy up against the lowest luchadore on the roster, Ciclope!

BEST OF THREE FALLS MATCH:
REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA:
(ECW Big Ass Extreme Bash, March 1996)
* Hey look! I found a Rey/Juvi match! I was looking for a 6-man someone linked me once but forgot to wrote down, but this is neat! These matches (Rey wrestling Juvi & Psychosis twice a month for a while) more or less introduced lucha libre to American fans, immediately drawing the attention of WCW, who hired them all away. Which is what ACTUALLY introduced most of htem to Americans. Rey had entered ECW in late 1995 and only wrestled a couple of times a month, mostly with Psicosis, then did a few matches with Juventud the next year- this match pretty much got them all signed to WCW. Fittingly, they were all regular opponents in Mexico, making them great “playmates” to illustrate the style in other countries. This match ended up kind of becoming a legend, in part due to word of mouth and “I heard that…” and part from fans who actually SAW the match, and it was definitely a tape-traders dream. But I’ve never actually seen it, and have heard that retrospect is less kind! Both guys are in long red tights here, and both are masked.

FALL ONE: Juvi spits in Rey’s face before the bell, and Rey responds in kind. Rey immediately takes him down (actually missing the leg-sweep but Juvi sells it anyways) and does a basic surfboard from his knees that draws an amusing amount of applause for such a basic move. Rey counters the Leg Hump with a Muta lock. He lets go and Juvi hits him with a Northern Lights suplex, but goes up and is immediately Super Frankensteinered. Juvi pops up after two without selling and they do a simple sunset flip reversal sequence that ALSO draws applause- one of those “oh yeah they never see guys work this fast ever” moments. They do a lucha style test of strength and humorously the ref is American so doesn’t register Rey bridging up as a cue to count Juvi down when his back’s on the mat, and then they do an ugly rollup into the ropes. Rey does a tilt-a-whirl rana for two, then a spinning headscissors to put Juvi on the floor and does a Misawa feint into a moonsault (correctly gauging the VERY close distance to the railing so he does the ass-bump off the top rope instead of springboarding). Ah, THIS is why the match is so famous. REMEMBER, 1996! Rey tries a moonsault, but Juvi blocks it and Rey brings him down with a sunset flip bomb instead. Juvi quickly recovers by reversing a suplex to a brainbuster for two, then a 1-2-3 Kid spinkick into a springboard somersault kick, and a Dragon Suplex finishes at (5:22). I shoule hope so.

FALL TWO: Rey takes a drink from a fan for a crowd pop, then both guys do kip-ups from a running bump and Rey springs up with a rana for two. Juvi’s now way more hurt than in the first fall, and charges into the corner upside-down at top speed and then gets rana’d to the floor off the apron by a flying Mysterio. In 1996. And when the referee checks on Juventud, Rey vaults OVER him into a huge somersault dive to the floor! Incredibly safe versions of these moves, actually- check how precise they are with the landings and guided falls. Powerbomb with a shitty cover gets two, and a perfect Lionsault gets two. Juvi’s picked up, but whips him into the rainmaker, throws some kicks and runs to the top, but Rey hits an intercepting dropkick! Doctor Bomb gets the three at (3:03).

FALL THREE: Juvi immediately catches Rey with a running dropkick, then dropkicks him off the top in another pretty guided bump by Rey, then dropkicks him from inside the ring and then puts him OVER the guardrail for his big move, the Quebrada! Springboard spinkick gets two, but a springboard somersault ass slam eats mat. Rey puts him up but fails the super rana (neither guy looks remotely like they’re actually trying to do the move- Rey just flips off of him) and Juvi dives… straight into a huge powerbomb! Juvi is pumping up for the kickout as soon as he lands, though, and after a NL suplex, avoids Rey’s springboard moonsault and hits a press into a fallaway slam, basically just showing off now. They’re like, openly calling spots (holding each other straight-up and leaning in) as Juvi eats a spinkick and casually rolls to the floor to catch Rey’s baseball slide and end up headscissored on the floor. Juvi’s tossed over the guardrail and dragged around for no reason so Rey can chairshot him and then do ANOTHER highlight- a Springboard Somersault over the railing! Rey now takes him to the back (WHY?) and slams him into the sliding door, then Juventud powerbombs him on a car hood outside, then recovers instantly and kicks him off to set up a hurricanrana OFF THE CAR, flipping Juvi to the concrete! They do the “Grab & Walk” back to ringside for a flung chair to Juvi and Rey sets up a table… then gets vaulted to the top rope, Juvi tries Splash Mountain (super razor’s edge) to bring him off, but Rey vaults off with the Super Frankensteiner and gets the pin at (6:09)! Rey wins! Too bad he already did that move earlier in the match sorta!

haha did someone tell these guys beforehand that WCW would be watching? This wasn’t a match- it was a RESUME! It’s an incredible display of MOVEZ from both guys- both hitting huge stuff at breakneck speed in Fall 1, then Rey showcasing his movez in Fall 2, then Juvi showcasing HIS in Fall 3. It’s funny to watch this with the legend the match picked up at the time, because the first fall is clearly just ALL MOVEZ, with guys hitting super frankensteiners and sunset bombs with almost zero selling, just cranking out the huge stuff to win the fans over. But this is definitely one of those “you had to be there” matches- the athleticism was incredible and the moves HUGE, and this was in early 1996. I mean, compare this to what WCW or WWF were doing at the time (okay WrestleMania XIII had Bret/Shawn & Taker/Diesel, which weren’t bad). Some of the top guys were doing powerbombs and flying moves as finishers and these guys were hitting sunset flip powerbombs, regular powerbombs and doctor bombs as early match moves! Watching now… yeah, comparatively little selling and the escalation of moves looks weird because some of the biggest moves are hit in the first fall and barely sold and THEN they go to other stuff and actually sell it. At the end, they almost started getting caught up, as if they were trying to think of moves they hadn’t done yet (things like Rey hitting a suplex position, then going “no wait…” and doing a northern lights one, then arbitrarily getting off so he could do ANOTHER flip and then Juvi hitting a multi-part flashy move. Like, a press-slam into just dropping him on his chest so he could do a rapid-fire fallaway slam? That’s an excessively convoluted showboating way to do a regular bump.

So then it just KEEPS GOING- they were headed to ***1/2-**** (amazing for a spotfest) and then they decide to add MORE SHIT as they randomly walk around ringside, throw some chairs (they’re illustrating their hatred and rivalry NOW? 14 minutes in?), go outside for the big highlight reel spot off the car hood (which tbf, looks totally rad), and then do the big Splash Mountain Reversal spot (a spot so good, Rey copied it for 1-2 of his huge WCW matches). So much of this involved guys doing moves they never do, or setting up things they never did (honestly how many times did Psychosis or Juvi ever actually try Splash Mountain and actually HIT IT?). Credit to Rey for actually selling well, as he’d loll his head around on landings and stuff, actually building comebacks- Juvi tended to just eat a landing and burst up like nothing happened. Funny thing about the finish is they swiped it from Dynamite Kansai vs. Manami Toyota from a couple months before this (the finish to a World title match)… but Kansai DOES include that move as a regular thing! Okay that’s not a total necessity in wrestling (and fits the “what’s it take to finish this guy?” nature of spotfests) but it’s kinda funny to me.

All critiques aside, though, the most important thing is this: both guys are FUCKIN’ GENIUSES for going out there and splurging out all their MOVEZ back and forth for 15 minutes of non-stop action, because this was a high-profile match watched by tons of white people with internet connections and the ability to trade tapes, which means this match went the 1996 equivalent of “viral” very quickly and ALSO landed both guys jobs that paid actual money very shortly thereafter, and more importantly, in much higher roles than most luchadores got in WCW. Like, La Parka didn’t have any matches this good watched by bunches of tape-trading whities, and so his fat ass got to job to Ice Train a bunch. Rey and Juvi got PUSHES!

Rating: ***1/2 (ehhhhhhhhhh I want to like it more, and the athleticism and agility is legitimately AMAZING, but it’s so relentlessly a showcase of all their shit, and then loses focus and they start playing grab-ass near the end to extend the run-time and hit even more wild shit. Which all LOOKED GOOD, mind you, and didn’t always expose the business, but ehn–)

THE FAT BOYS (Meat & Potatoes) vs. THE SHADOW & THE INVADER:
(USWA, 1992)
* haha I went looking for a team known as “The Fat Boys” in Memphis and I find their debut, and it’s against the most podunk jobber names imaginable- masked guys so they can work twice in one show! The Fat Boys are a pair of fairly obese young men coming down to “The Twist” (which is, of course, by Chubby Checker- OH HOW DROLL). They appear to be unable to actually DO said Twist, just sorta shimmying in place. Well they’re called the Fat Boys, not the Coordinated Boys. Their entire wrestling history is like… 1992. Except Meat is… oh my god it’s KRUSHER KONG! And Texas Terminator Hoss! I’ve seen this guy before! He’s like… super fat but not enough to really be scary and he also can’t work! Glorious! Even more glorious is their ring gear- tight black sleeveless shirts, shorts bisected between black & neon yellow/green, and matching durags.

The jobbers attack before the bell, but quickly get sent away as it’s apparent that one Fat Boy is MUCH larger than the other- I guess that one’s Meat, cuz he BIG. Poor Potatoes is that kind of “short fat guy”, not helped by his Magnum TA mullet and poor goatee. Highly unimpressive. Shadow gets dumped in a bad shitcan bump as the Fat Boys do body slams, then hit Invader with a double side slam. They do another double-whip, clotheslining Invader down and hahahahaha oh my god- he sits up to eat an expected splash or something from Meat, causing Potatoes to miss his elbow and like, graze his back with it. Potatoes recovers his dignity with a powerslam and OH MY GOD they won’t stop doing double-whips- is that the only set-up they know? A double flapjack hits Invader as the ref is just fine with the endless double-teaming, and the commentary calls this out as Meat ends it with a Running Splash at (1:13). haha how was that legal? And oh my god are they BLOWN UP? Their post-match celebration is just them huffing around slapping some hands and… oh no it’s time for an interview. A clearly exhausted Meat in fact proves me correct with the names (“I’m Meat and this is P’taytas” he says, with his Southern accent). An equally exhausted Potatoes says “I thought I was Meat and YOU was P’taytas!” but they call out the Moondogs for what is sure to be a masterpiece. Tragically this is the only Fat Boys match I can find so far.

Rating: 1/4* (a mostly horrendous squash of mixed up moves and repeated offense in only a minute. 1/5 on the squash scale!)

THE NO LIMIT SOLDIERS (Swoll & B.A., w/ 4×4) vs. “LIGHTNING FOOT” JERRY FLYNN & HUGH MORRUS (w/ Jimmy Hart):
(WCW Saturday Night, Aug. 28th 1999)
* YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! So WCW from the “we give up” period has another attempt at the No Limit Soldiers team taking on the First Family (a feud post-West Texas Rednecks), but it’s mostly “good hand” Brad Armstrong leading around a green muscled-up rookie. LOL Morrus has his hair & goatee dyed blond now. Swoll actually isn’t all that huge (I keep remembering him as 4×4, who is a BLIMP of muscle).

Swoll & Morrus start, quickly doing a no-sold shoulderblock into a basic international. Swoll tries a heart punch of all things and Morrus goes to the eyes AND the nuts to no DQ and yet the ref tries to block B.A. coming in. Flynn with the LIGHTNING FEET and a heel kick, then Morrus does a bunch of “goofy dance into a drop strike” moves. A false tag to B.A. sets up more heat, then ANOTHER as this is getting excessive, lol. Like Swoll got all of one move in before this. The heels do a Hart Attack spinning heel kick variant, Morrus barely able to get Swoll up, but Morrus misses a flying headbutt (Swoll rolling UNDER him instead of forwards), and that’s the hot tag so tiny-ass B.A. can run in and bounce the huge heels around with forearm shots, lol. Swoll just pulls his pants up and gets into the melee like nothing happened, and this is apparently so dramatic that Jimmy Hart has to climb to the top rope, where he leaps into the arms of 4×4. That gets the first real reaction all match (though the heat machine’s been working overdrive all match long, you can actually see some fans move for this)- Brian Knobs runs in with a chair for the DQ and that’s it at (6:08). This actually led to a 6-man match a couple weeks later that I reviewed way near the start of this column and I found it shockingly good (like… **1/4 but still).

I guess this was to give Swoll more ring-time, as you don’t normally see the muscular rookie eat tons of offense and be the Ricky Morton of the situation. His bumping seems weak but fine for his experience level- lots of simple dropping back with his arms in- looks kinda funny but he’s new. A bigger issue is his “selling” is just “lie down” and not bothering to add in any facial expressions, desperately holding a hand out for the tag, etc. It’s just lifeless selling. Makes for a boring match, especially as the heels were barely trying either. Typical Saturday Night effort, much less how it was obviously to lead to a later match.

Rating: *1/2 (just a weak, plodding affair on a poor seller, though nobody shit their pants or anything to make it REALLY bad)

THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. JIM POWERS:
(WWF TV, Feb. 19th 1991)
* HELL YES MORE JIM POWERS! I need to feature my header star more often. Here he is being fed to the Undertaker! Powers was a level above guys like your standard jobbers in that he got the “Boy is this kid ever put together!” comments and sometimes beat other jobbers, but still he remained on the undercard.

Powers slips under a Taker lunge to start, but immediately gets caught with a one-handed choke and struggles. He fails to put his hands up to try and pry Taker’s hands off of him- a Vince pet peeve that probably ensured he’d never get a proper push (despite his scads of charisma). Taker uses a throat thrust and many varieties of choking to draw out this squash as Bearer is more openly laughing- something I don’t remember from him. Powers manages to duck a clothesline but runs right into a big boot. Lord Alfred suggests that “that was a DELIBERATE miss…” by the Undertaker meant to lure him him, further deriding Jim’s work after commenting on how ineffective he’s been. Uh-oh- someone showed up to work hung over today, huh? Taker puts his head down, but does his amazing no-sell when Powers kicks him, then doesn’t budge off a clothesline. Another one and Powers actually grabs his head in frustration like “what’s it take?”, but proves his jobber status by going to the same well, being chokeslammed down as a result. Tombstone finishes at (2:55), and Taker sprinkles some graveside dust on Powers, still workshopping his post-match routine (when does the body-bagging start?).

Taker’s facial expressions are far angrier here than he’d later start doing, appearing enraged by the attempted offense of opponents. It was interesting to see him try to extend out a squash beyond the minute or two you’d normally get- it’s really all choking from him. That’s uhhhhhh a problem he’d take quite some time to fix. Not that Powers was exactly known for his variety of offense either. The Tombstone here was a bit odd- holding Powers by one arm and then one around the lower back, with head to the side of both Jim’s legs.

Rating: 1/2* (About a 2/5 on the Squash Scale- just a bit too plodding, though it makes Taker look good that he doesn’t so much as BUDGE, even when a muscleboy is pummeling him)

JERRY LYNN vs. CICLOPE:
(WCW Pro, Jan. 5th 1997)
* Oh man, Jerry Lynn under his REAL NAME in WCW? Did I know he did that? I don’t remember! I just remember Mr. JL! And here he’s taking on the bippity-bottom-tier luchadore in all of WCW, Ciclope! And OH MY GOD Lynn is looking even more generic than he did in ECW- instead of a guy with stringy long-hair, he’s got a preppy Zach Morris haircut and yellow undies over blue trunks. This is the jobberiest thing ever- I love it.

Dusty proclaims his fandom of “Ol’ One-Eye” as Generic Babyface Dork Jerry Lynn leads the crowd in a “USA!” chant, as Ciclope points to a Mexican flag and is thus a heel. huh- Lynn was doing his “spin behind the back and armdrag them” thing even back then. They get into a chopfest and Ciclope hits a wheel kick outta the corner, and Lynn hits the apron and eats one of those guillotine legdrops while he’s “draped” there (at least trying to work it like he got stunned while bent over). Ciclope with a missile dropkick for two, then a brainbuster after which he seems to not know how to fill the rest of the time in the match, so does some errant brawling and a lariat while commentary debates whether or not Ciclope legitimately has one eye or not (“That’s a MASK!” “It’s his head!”) and the lead PBP guy whose name I forget goes on about how it’s “ironic” that on the birthday of Louis Braille we find a one-eyed man wrestling, annoying Dusty & Larry. Hey, they gotta fill a LOT of time on the 5 D-shows WCW had, guys. Anyways, Lynn gets a back body drop and flying crossbody, but misses a dropkick , only for Ciclope to climb up and go for a terrible shotgun missile dropkick, miss, and Lynn JACKKNIFE PINS HIM at (4:26)! Jerry Lynn wins an upset! Holy shit who could have predicted he would meet the tremendous challenge of Ciclope!

Rating: *3/4 (Perfectly acceptable generic undercard match, with just enough flying around to not be terribly boring, even if it was bog-standard. Ciclope ain’t exactly the most GRACEFUL luchadores I’ve ever seen, and Lynn looked like a vanilla wrestler from 1985, not 1997, but it was fine)