Arn Anderson vs. The Great Muta (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, I finally take care of an old request- a LEGITIMATE dream match, taking place in 1990 NWA/WCW when Arn Anderson challenges for the Great Muta’s WCW TV Title! Following that, a crazy mish-mash of talent on WCW Thunder in 1999, as Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko team up with Kidman against Raven, Perry Saturn & Rey Mysterio Jr.- who is Kidman’s Tag Champion teammate! Next up, it’s a Bill Goldberg squash, as he takes down the OTHER Beverly Brother, Mike Enos on WCW Thunder! Then it’s a long Rick “The Model” Martel vs. Thurman “My Friends Call Me Sparky” Plugg match from All-American Wrestling in *1994*, Martel ticking down his dates before leaving again!

NWA TV TITLE:
THE GREAT MUTA vs. ARN ANDERSON:
(NWA Power Hour, Jan. 1990)
* Oh yeah- this one’s been on the docket for like two years but I just never checked it out for whatever reason, figuring it was too long/too big to be locked in. It’s funny, because “on paper” this is something you’d expect could get **** or so, but the nature of TV matches means it’s probably truncated and not as hard-fought as a really important match- even in 1990 guys were less likely to chase “bangers” (ugh) and more “just get the job done”. Arn’s in black trunks and Muta’s in long red martial arts pants with black facepaint. I have seen almost none of Muta’s US content, so this’ll be interesting.

Right away it’s clear Muta is something “different”- his stance is vastly different than any American wrestler’s, and he does all these strange “stop & start” moves that come off as odd and unpredictable. They chain-wrestle a bit, keeping it snug, and then the J-Tex goons come to ringside (Buzz Sawyer was still around in 1990?), and Arn ducks a WAY high “karate kick” and hits a vertical suplex. Arn controls with a headlock (Muta goes for the hair but can’t in a funny bit, CUZ BALD), and a close-up of the Dragon Master has Jim Ross remark with disgust “Are there any nice-looking Oriental guys?”, then Jim Cornette says “the referee is the nicest-looking guy in the ring, and he looks like his face put on fire, and put out with an ax!” (funny, because Mutoh was actually a pretty handsome dude at this time). But then Ross shames the WWF, saying “Here in the NWA, it’s not about who can POSE, or who has an animal with ‘im, it’s who is TOUGH!” as Muta pulls out another unusual move- a back kick that’s caught, and he does an upside-down kick with the other leg. A power drive elbow keeps up the punishment, but they’re really just hitting one move every 30 seconds, letting everything sink in. Muta hops straight to the top rope (again, something unique for the time) and hits a flying axehandle, then rakes the eyes and uses his Cartwheel Handspring Elbow, then puts on CATTLE MUTILATION (in 1990!). Arn pries his hands apart and headbutts him to break, but eats a spinkick as a confident Muta keeps going.

Muta seems to have run through his cool shit, so does a variety of punches, kicks and choking as Arn is bug-eyed and lolling around in the ropes. He gets a couple comebacks, having more success with a pair of inverted atomic drops. Crowd is NOT into that comeback, though- either Arn’s stuff is too old-timey for them or he just isn’t over as a babyface. He hammerlock-slams Muta, then hits a weak abdominal stretch (while Muta is KNEELING?), and Muta fights them over the top rope. Arn makes a last-ditch comeback with his Spinebuster and J-Tex hits the apron- Dragon Master distracts and Sawyer flies off the top to clobber Arn, but it only gets two. Okay the crowd is now pretty into it. Muta nonetheless manages anothers spinkick and goes for the Moonsault, but hits knees! And Arn swings over for a DDT- for the three (13:18)! New TV Champion! Oh haha I found a historic match by accident.

Man, Muta in 1990 was a revelation. I mean, so I hear from people who were watching NWA back then, but you can really see it- dude’s hitting savate kicks, complex back-bridging submissions and cartwheel moves in *1990*. The match is fascinating mostly for that (though I’m told Cattle Mutilation was used regularly in “opening minutes” parts of Japan matches back theN), as it’s a pretty basic “Randy Savage Template” of Arn starting hot, then eating a succession of moves before hitting a short comeback for the win. He really JUST sold for a huge part of the bout, which kinda makes it seem like a Muta exhibition, and it didn’t really get that much heat for some reason (Arn as a babyface seems like terrible casting, which might be part of it). Muta doing all his cool shit and then going “… wait, now what?” and settling for the WWF “Walk & Brawl” was kinda funny, too- like he couldn’t otherwise space that out? It’s weird to hit all his awesome moves and then slow it down with weaker stuff, almost like he ran out of moves and didn’t want to repeat anything, haha. Arns’s execution whenever he got on offense was TREMENDOUS, matching Muta’s while not being as flashy- obviously his Spinebuster is S-tier, but that DDT was fantastic, too- perfect timing and also treated like an “outta nowhere” reversal that was last-ditch. Muta was done after another month, explaining why the belt was taken off here.

Rating: ***1/4 (very good TV match, especially for the era, but very one-sided and “last minute comeback”-y from Arn. Great execution of all the moves, though)

KIDMAN, DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT (w/ Arn Anderson) vs. RAVEN, PERRY SATURN & REY MYSTERIO, JR.:
(WCW Thunder, April 22nd 1999)
* Okay this is pretty wild. I remember these guys all being thrown into random “You! Hit a home run!” all the time during WCW’s last “well maybe they might get better again” year. Kidman & Rey are the acting tag champions, but are split up here because of Raven’s “incluence”. Though they show a clip of Raven/Kidman from Nitro where the Horsemen run in and hit both guys, but they Rey saves Kidman and Saturn charges in. Kidman’s in the usual whirt shirt/jorts look, Benoit’s in blue tights, Malenko black trunks, Raven the usual grunge gear, Saturn in his leather skirt era, and Rey’s in… the maskless/jeans look.

Rey/Dean do a quick sequence they can do in their sleep, but Kidman’s in, and the tag champs refuse to fight. Raven & Kidman do a pretty good sequence, Raven outpowering him and setting up Saturn to missile kick him to the floor. But Rey won’t let him follow up with a pescado, and Kidman gets away. Benoit’s in with his usual “snap”, Larry Zbyszko actually doing a really good job on commentary putting over how uncomfortable this match is for teams (“I’m trying to put myself in this situation…”) and complimenting Benoit’s balance and how his feet are always planted during his move execution to give ’em that snap. Benoit does a good sliding trip to set up Dean’s dropkick to Saturn’s head. He leg lariats him and Kidman doesn’t wanna tag in- he nearly gets powerbombed but is shockingly able to turn it into a facecrusher. He goes up, but Raven crotches him and Saturn biels Kidman while both are standing on the top, getting two. Raven comes in and tries a superplex, but gets “flung” off the corner (lol he mistimed it and flew off between punches for no reason), but instead of following up, Kidman just hops down and tags Dean. I think the psychology here is just a bit too convoluted for the live crowd- Kidman & Rey don’t want to fight and are being pressured by their teams, but it’s too many moving bodies.

We go to break as Saturn has popped the front row by grabbing a fan’s sparkly red wig and is now wearing it on the apron as Dean & Benoit slowly work over Rey while Kidman argues with them. I love Saturn running in and making sure to pick the wig back up. The beatdown just goes on for way too long, and Benoit forces Kidman to tag in, but he won’t work the leg they’ve been stomping on and so Dean pops him one. Kidman keeps picking up Rey with no offense attempted, so Benoit just tags himself back in and tosses Kidman so Arn can ream him out on the floor. Rey reverses a backdrop superplex for two, Dean pulling him off, and a brawl breaks out on the floor between everyone. Dean FINALLY pops Rey into the air, eating a facecrusher for the babyface comeback, Saturn suplexing Dean and firing off punches, and soon it’s a donnybrook while Saturn tags in REY for some insane reason. Rey immediately starts getting beaten up again, but now KIDMAN runs in and smashes Dean (his own partner in the match), leapfrogging Rey into a rana. But Rey goes up and ARN charges in and sweeps his legs out (in a move with the best execution in the entire match), then Spinebusters him right next to Charles Robinson, who is trying REALLY hard to not pay attention to that- Kidman calls attention to it, but gets clobbered by Dean so he LANDS on Rey, and Robinson counts the three with great speed at (16:22). Ah, I think they’re doing a “he’s in cahoots” deal with Commissioner Ric Flair at the time, so they’re justifying his poor rules-following.

A pretty Thunder-level match, with some complicated psychology that I think wasn’t working for the fans, who were way more amused by Saturn fucking around with the front row and wearing a fan’s wig. Like, it’s a bit much to have “tag champs on different sides and not wanting to fight” while it’s a 6-man tag- never mind that Benoit & Dean aren’t good enough actors to get over their annoyance with Kidman- Dean just blank-faced got into a shoving match with him at one point. They had some good moves thrown in, but were pretty slack on the pace and a long beatdown of Rey didn’t excite anyone, either. Malenko was his usual blank-faced self (at least Benoit can physically “act” aggressively) and Saturn & Raven barely got to do anything. I think 70% of the match was a slow heat sequence on Rey. Then the REF gets all screwy in the end as we add a separate angle to the mix entirely!

Rating: ** (seems like it shoulda been a ***+ MOVEZ paradise, but they were clearly in “Thunder Mode” and the convoluted story didn’t help the match)

WCW UNITED STATES TITLE:
BILL GOLDBERG vs. MIKE ENOS:
(WCW Thunder, April 22nd 1998)
* Oh yeah- you know you’re getting the good stuff when Goldberg is taking on a Beverly Brother. Enos was often trotted out as a jobber- much moreso than partner Wayne Bloom. Goldberg has JUST won the U.S. Title from Raven. Enos is sporting no facial hair but a short haircut, for those of you who keep track of such things. … it’s not just me, right? Also there’s a grey rectangle on his ass that is super distracting.

Enos attacks from behind before the bell, lighting up Goldberg with a huge rapid-fire series of strikes, but Bill just bolts upright and taunts him- Enos tries a hiptoss, but Goldberg rolls forward into a heel hook. He pulls out more unique stuff with a good belly-to-belly launching suplex, then hits a short clothesline to counter an Irish whip. Goldberg throws some knees in the corner as this is VERY long by Goldberg standards, and Enos actually catches him with a powerslam- Goldberg bolts out at one and stares him down, then slowly whips him off the ropes and hits a Spear from a standing position! Okay, rare to see that as a deliberately offensive move off a whip like that. Jackhammer, goodnight at (2:02). Okay by “VERY long” I just meant “hey they’re doing normal match stuff” cuz that was only two minutes, haha.

Rating: 3/4* (a pretty solid Goldbergian effort- hitting some unique stuff and actually controlling offense instead of just exploding out after nothing. I wonder if they were trying to “normalize” his moveset or teach him more things so he wasn’t reliant on the same template all the time?)

Among the “WWF in 1994” things, this is one of the WWF in 1994iest.

RICK “THE MODEL” MARTEL vs. THURMAN “SPARKY” PLUGG:
(WWF All-American, Feb. 27th 1994)
* This is one of the feature matches of a truly DIRE card someone linked to on the BOD a week or so ago (seriously, check out this affront to God), and I just had to take a look at it. This is clipped down, but yeah… Rick Martel eking out a paycheck to further his real estate business by wrestling midcarders, and Bob Holly in his first gimmick name. It was a riff on “STP” but they decided that like… “Thurmann Plugg” was an impossible gimmick name to get over. Just to let you know it’s 1994, Sparky is in a bright purple singlet with neon green & pink decals all over it, and sports a long-ass mullet. Martel is in the powder blue this time around. Both are in a big 10-man tag match coming to WrestleMania X… except that never happens when Shawn/Razor goes long. Commentary is Gorilla with Stan Lane back when he was having a go as a color guy.

Monsoon immediately makes note of the time limit, suggesting it won’t be enough, lol. They do some basic chain-wrestling with Plugg coming out on top (I like the “guy avoids the amateur wrestling” move that’s actually just “the guy rolls around on his ass while the other dude flails around on top of him” move). Martel gets rolled to the floor when he grabs a hammerlock, then stalls for time and Monsoon proclaims “4 or 5” minutes have gone by 1:30 into things, and the Model gets a cheap slap and immediately hides to avoid retaliation. Sparky controls with a headlock, then Martel just… casually gets up (it’s always funny seeing that spot when you know that in the ’80s, Flair title defenses would always make that look like a HUGE struggle and here they do it so easily), and we’re back from break with Stan saying “this match is starting to REV UP!” when it’s just Sparky grabbing a pithold after an armdrag, haha. Martel drops Sparky across his knee but misses an elbow, but after another hold manages to toss Sparky over the top. Rick jumps him from behind out there and works the back as they are REALLY not sweetening the audio here, judging by the “random yelling” non-reaction from the fans. Martel does jumping jacks and suplexes Plugg back in, then does the ultra-lazy version of the camel clutch (where they’re flat on the mat), Sparky fighting up and hitting the 1994 Jobber Special, the leaping crossbody. Martel manages another backbreaker and fights for the Boston Crab, but Plugg struggles and is too close to the ropes once it’s on- Martel slugs him in the gut but eats the same when he comes off Bret’s rope. Sparky tries move after move to put over the desperation to win before the clock strikes (Stan literally makes a motor noise here), using a dropkick, running small package, etc., but Martel suckers him in with a punch and puts his feet on the ropes… but it’s Time Over at (8:57 of 20:00 shown).

OOF, just some classic “going through the motions” stuff with these guys. It was apparently a 20-minute draw according to Cagematch (WWF often threw those out there to pad time on these sorts of shows), cut into an All-American exclusive, so both guys were doing it nice and slow, doing the most basic chain-wrestling sequences. It’s funny seeing them almost all in a row like that, though- the “overhead wristlock to hammerlock counter to circle around and dump a guy” to the “headlock/pin attempt/headlock” sequence to the “armdrag him and then keep his arm in your armpit” move- all the classics. Except fought with little effort (cuz 20 minutes and not many will be seeing it)- compare this to how dramatically NWA Title matches fought for every little inch of ground and here you’ve got Martel just casually deciding to roll over and stand up while in holds. They fought a little harder in the end (of course Monsoon ripping on the non-leg-hooking, but we get the “Dropkick, and a beauty!” declaration of great execution), but mostly a casual, lazy match.

Funnily enough, some research indicates this is one of Martel’s last WWF TV matches, as he spends the next month jobbing to Sparky at house shows, then switches to putting over JEFF JARRETT

Rating: ** (sort of like the first 9 minutes of a 40-minute classic, except fought lazily and before any of the actually good stuff happened. Average in its cromulence, but both were obviously taking it easy)