Big Van Vader vs. Ron Simmons for the WCW Title (and other Dream Matches!)

Well surely WCW’s push of Ron Simmons to the World Title created a longtime main event success! … right?

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a legitimate big-name match for you, as it’s the famous match where WCW midcarder Ron Simmons gets an underdog shot against monster heel World Champion Big Van Vader! This is actually maybe the very first WCW match I ever saw, and to show you it was effective, even I was buying it by match’s end, for a challenger I’d never heard of!

Next up, it’s a match Jim Cornette has talked about on his podcast as Bob Backlund brought up in his autobiography, where Canadian kid with a “trick shoulder” Rick Bolton is called in to do the job to George “The Animal” Steele and put him over as a monster, leaving the “poor young man” with his arm sickly jolting out at his side! Amazing carney spectacle with this one, even for a basic squash. Next up, I find a true “Only at this moment in time” match with Nova teaming up with Chris Chetti in a WWF dark match against the Haas Brothers, Russ & Charlie! That very brief period where those dudes were in OVW, Russ was still alive, and friggin’ Chetti was still trying to make it work. And finally, it’s three matches in a row of Lex Luger taking on Maxx (aka Maxx Muscle) in increasingly-short, increasingly one-sided matches in WCW!

WCW WORLD TITLE:
BIG VAN VADER (w/ Harley Race) vs. RON SIMMONS:
(WCW, Aug. 2nd 1992)
* So to set the stage, this is circa SummerSlam for the WWF, where Savage fought Warrior and Bret took on Davey-Boy. I wasn’t a WCW fan (the previous year, Ric Flair showed up on WWF TV and I was like “Who is this old guy and why does he have his own belt?”), and would only occasionally catch a glimpse of their TV show, as I didn’t know when it was on and since it was the “lame” one I didn’t care as much anyways. I was at least aware of Vader’s existence, possibly because of the WCWcomic that Marvel Comics was releasing at the time. So one day I just randomly find their TV and see Vader going up against this dude I’ve never heard of, in what looks like a pretty basic “Monster Champ vs. Midcarder” match. The idea is that Sting was set to challenge longtime enemy Vader, but was injured by that dastardly Jake Roberts, and so the fans “who paid to see a Title match” get an alternate instead. Vader’s in black and Simmons, at that point mostly a tag wrestler, has purple tights.

They do a dramatic lockup to start (Jim Ross of course dropping football analogies), Vader popping Ron with those bear-paws of his, but in a great bit, Simmons fires back and hauls him into the corner, pounding him straight to the mat, with the fans (initially sitting on their hands despite the “canned heat”) slowly taking notice and visibly being like “Hell yeah!” throughout the stands. Vader gets clobbered with a clothesline, backdrop suplex & shoudler tackle and hits the floor to put over the challenger, taking a powder and conversing with Race. Vader starts popping him again, but Simmons just reverses a whip and drops him with a spinebuster as Vader can’t get ANYTHING going- great matchmaking. It takes Vader getting his foot up in the corner to turn the tide. Ron has to bail just off that, and Vader quickly bats him in the mouth when he comes back in, then pummels him and hits the avalanche- Simmons stumbling forward off the bump and then getting clotheslined down is great. Vader follows with a splash- for a BIG kickout at one! Vader slows the pace to work him over, hitting a suplex and a big clothesline, but a second-rope splash has Ron kick out so hard he practically rolls over the big man! OK the canned heat is a bit nuts here- the fans are mostly sitting still, but the sound makes it seem like they’re going BANANA.

Simmons does that “Randy Savage” thing where he tries to fight up from his feet while being eaten alive to show that he’s still in the game, but Vader clotheslines him down, clearly into the “routine” and eager to slow the pace. But his nice slow suplex is ALSO countered with a power move and Vader has to rush in and clobber him. Ron catches a batting arm with a slow-motion backslide of all things, getting two. Watching this as a kid at this point I was going nuts like “HE MIGHT HAVE IT!”- all these quick mini-comebacks are making you think a fluke “just might” happen, even though you know it won’t after years of watching wrestling. Vader works the brain with his bear-paws until Simmons dodges an avalanche and rolls him up for two (a BUNCH of the hard-cam stood up for that one), but Vader sits on him out of a sunset flip and ends the surge! Fans were popping for each little comeback at this point, but a confident Vader’s just like “that’s it” and sets up the Powerbomb– but Ron slides over his back. He stumbles, and Vader’s like “ah fuck it” and hits the ropes for a big lariat… but is caught by a snap Powerslam! 1-2-THREE! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION (9:41)! In an iconic shot, a black kid runs onto the hard cam and starts jumping up and down with sheer excitement and the fans actually full-on pop for one of the all-time surprise wins- a midcard/upper-mid dude beating the invincible World Champion and we have the first Black World Champion in wrestling history.

The match was very simple, and obviously kind of to START a feud rather than end it, as it’s Ron getting some babyface stuff to start, battering Vader around with surprising power- it’s very clever how Vader always sells this with shock, then has to bullrush Simmons down and slowly work him over, like he realizes he needs to wear him down and slow the pace because Ron has all that explosive strength. Ron just beating his ass to the mat straightaway is a great way to establish that sense of parity and to realize that this guy won’t be bullied down like the smaller Sting would. Vader keeps going back to “the usual” while Simmons gets comebacks that are a mix of that Savage-style “throw one punch from his knees with no power behind it to show that his spirit continues even though his body is hurt” thing, and actual, raw power. All the rollups establish that he’s still the underdog, but the fans start BUYING THEM in the end (after spending much of the match just sitting there), and for that final powerslam, that iconic dude just charges right into the guardrail because he’s hoping SO MUCH, and then goes nuts when the three-count actually happens.

A bit could be made of Vader’s sell of the last move- he pops up at 3.1 and is like “Wait… WHAT?” establishing that it was a huge fluke instead of “he was caught/stunned” or even shaking it off. It’s a tad disregarding of Ron’s move and makes it look like more of a fluke than it perhaps should be. It obviously sets up a rematch and huge feud… except those apparently didn’t happen, as I’m told that Vader kept feuding with Sting and Ron only got lame-duck challengers like Cactus Jack & The Barbarian (on PPV!), which means that it was a total lame-duck reign (I can only imagine the more credible wrestlers all refused to do jobs so he was stuck with generous Foley and a guy not in position to refuse), and three months later Simmons had lost the belt, Bill Watts’ experiment to create a new Black Champion failing.

Rating: *** (a very good “underdog” match- not terrible long and mostly kept at a methodical pace, but deliberately-so by the Monster Heel who realized he needed to wear down his super-athletic challenger- good comebacks and surprises despite weak technique here or there)

GEORGE “THE ANIMAL” STEELE (w/ Fred Blassie) vs. RICK BOLTON:
(WWF, 1981)
* In one of the most amazing bits of carny grift I’ve ever heard, this is the story Jim Cornette and others have told of a guy with a trick shoulder that he could dislocate on cue, and how Vince McMahon Sr. used him to put over George Steele as a dangerous heel. Bolton has a classic jobber look- not entirely out of shape, but plain-looking and with a diaper-style pair of black trunks. Not a horrible-looking beard for the era, I guess. See the match here.

Steele immediately pounces on the hapless goof, stomping on his outstretched arm, but no dice just yet. Steele slugs him and is like “…” but sure enough, he hauls him all the way up with a lifting hammerlock and launches him, and Bolton comes down normally then suddenly EERRRRK there goes the arm, as he twists it and now it’s clearly out of its socket and hanging weirdly out to the side. Vince Jr. is super-disgusted on commentary as Bolton hangs his arm limply out like that, and Steele is right on cue pouncing with stomps. Bolton isn’t really writhing in agony as he gets tossed (re-rolling his arm out of the socket on the floor), but he has this crybaby face on that really works as a “poor rookie” thing (“awwwwww- Poor man! That really is too bad!”). The referee seems to call it at (3:13) on the floor, but Steele just shrugs off his arm being raised and goes back to stomping the shoulder area as we get a replay of the move and the screen goes dark. Naturally, this builds heat for a Steele/Backlund match. I’ve seen people who saw it say that it was horrifying to watch as kids, but the live audience didn’t seem quite as extreme, though a few kind of popped up like “… wait”. I mean, only the rube-iest of rubes thought wrestling was real, but that dude’s shoulder was CLEARLY out, so you had people, if only for a moment.

See, as a squash it’s just “Steele keeps attacking the arm and it goes nowhere for a while” but eventually he’s just shredding the limb and it works because Bolton can roll the shoulder out of its socket with this big circular motion (it looks obvious on camera when you look for it), though it takes a while for it to happen. It’s likely that Bolton here had very little training at all and was here JUST for that (though apparently he worked since the ’70s), which would explain why the match was so simple. Here’s a short bio on Bolton, complete with a lot of carny grift and Steele saying “I was admonished”, a worker til the end: https://slamwrestling.net/index.php/2000/12/14/slam-wrestling-canadian-hall-of-fame-rick-bolton/.

Rating: 1/4* (less of a squash and more of an execution, which was perfect for what it needed to be)

Remember that era when wrestlers died young so often that “WWE prospect dies of a heart attack at 27” just gets glossed over immediately?

NOVA & CHRIS CHETTI vs. THE HAAS BROTHERS (Russ & Charlie Haas):
(WWF Dark Match, April 10th 2001)
* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!! What a fascinating bit of history! OVW’s Haas Brothers getting a callup for a dark match so the bookers can take a look at them, and their opponents are the ECW alumni Nova & Chris Chetti! Nova is of course the infamous “move-creator” Mike Bucci, since revealed as a “Just A Guy” wrestler who was never very good, while Chetti may be the high king of the “Just A Guy” wrestlers, being totally forgettable and forgotten. The Haases are of course legit brothers, but Russ shockingly died of a heart attack at only 27 years of age in something I don’t know if they ever properly investigated- this was during an era absolutely SICK with wrestlers dying young, to the point where this shocker almost went unreported and never got dwelled on. Charlie went on to be a tag wrestler alongside Shelton Benjamin on the main roster. Chetti is a generic-looking nobody with his hair short and bleached (very 2001) in a singlet top & baggy black pants (looking classically Just A Guy), while Nova is working hard in the gym and is ripped with long hair and shiny leather pants. The Haas Brothers are big, muscular dudes in blue singlets- Russ thankfully has a goatee so I can immediately tell it’s him.

Charlie & Chetti trade takedowns to start, Chetti looking stiff and bad, and Nova comes in for some boots as the crowd boos how boring this is. Man, Chetti legit looks like he’s in his first month of wrestling- all hesitation and clunkiness. The Haas boys were clearly told what to do as they’re just BOUNCING around for everything (I notice the OVW guys who actually “made it” to the big roster nearly always do the ass-over-teakettle bumps off of basic shit rather that show off their cool movez- someone told them how to impress the scouts). Chetti hits a standing side kick on Russ, but Charlie soon catches Nova in the corner and the Haas boys do a double-necking of him on the ropes, then Charlie launches Russ Anvil-style into him, Russ doing a forward flip. Russ hits a side slam while Chetti just yells “come on, Nova!” a bunch and tries to kick at Russ, and Russ/Nova do basic chain-wrestling while now Nova is flailing around like a madman on the bumping. Charlie misses a flying elbow into the double-down- the crowd actually claps a bit for the hot tag, but Chetti’s all shitty overhand shots and side kicks. The Haases throw Nova into him, but he monkey-flips Chetti into a clothesline (sounds better than it looked) and a Nova superkick sets up a tandem flying move- a Splash/Guillotine Legdrop combo that Charlie breaks up. Nova takes a huge bump to the floor, Chetti very obviously turns around while holding a front facelock so a Haas can clothesline him, and the Haas Brothers do a goofy combination move where one does a Jay Lethal flip into the ropes and uses the momentum for a standing moonsault to the legs while the other does a twisting legdrop, scoring three on Chetti at (4:45).

Man Chetti was so bad, haha. I mean he looks like what would happen if you gave ME a week’s worth of training and sent me out there. ie. it’s all unathletic, “stop-and-start”, “wait, was I supposed to be over there?”, clumsy-looking stuff. Nova looked okay and the Haases were working their asses off on the bumps, but the Chetti stuff just got so clunky it held everything back. The double-teams were pretty overly choreographed and convoluted, too. Probably made worse by the single-cam set-up showing the whole ring so the set-ups seemed even more obvious.

Rating: *1/2 (fine dark match nonsense, but Chetti was horribly clunky despite everyone else being game to bump around)

WCW TV TITLE:
LEX LUGER vs. MAXX:
(WCW Nitro, May 27th 1996)
* So Maxx/Maxx Muscle is one of those forgettable roided scrubs who ended up briefly in WCW, but was gone without much fanfare. Being both large AND shitty, he was perfect for WCW’s large “Rick Fuller Division” of giant jobbers out there for Luger to put in the Torture Rack in extended squashes. Both guys are in black trunks- Maxx is a bit bigger than Lex, but not as ripped.

They actually establish Maxx being able to power around Luger, with Heenan on commentary suggesting this is part of Lex’s plan to make him get cocky- Luger catches him with a couple clotheslines but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Maxx slowly works Luger over to conserve cardio, and keeps going for the pin off a side slam, then drops an elbow and hits a clothesline, breathing open-mouthed all the while and taking time between moves. Lex FINALLY makes the comeback by getting his foot up and hits the Loaded Forearm, but Maxx is right back up and takes a powerslam. Luger’s down too, but he manages the Torture Rack after a couple tries at (5:46).

Rating: * (a very long, extended “Savage Template” match, Luger just lazily screaming and being thrown about by an increasingly-tired, blown-up Maxx, but it wasn’t actively terrible, just long and drawn-out. Luger of course hits a three-move comeback and wins despite being on the back-end most of the match)

LEX LUGER vs. MAXX:
(WCW Saturday Night, 11/09/1996)
* It’s another Luger/Maxx match, this time from Saturday Night! And I guess Maxx is in the Dungeon of Doom now?

Maxx loses a shoulderblock battle and takes a bad hiptoss, but gets his knees up with Luger tries a splash of all things, and it’s another Plodding Maxx Beatdown. He hits his powerslam again for two, but Luger rolls him up when he argues the count with the ref, then hits a clothesline, Forearm Smash & Torture Rack for the submission at (3:07), winning easily.

Rating: * (about as good as the last match since it was kept short and was less plodding, but was otherwise very limited)

LEX LUGER vs. MAXX:
(WCW Saturday Night, March 8th 1997)
* One last time!

A different start than normal, with Lex doing technical stuff & a cross-body, but Maxx works a basic headlock for a while. Luger comes back with leverage, but gets popped with a dirty elbow. Maxx talks shit and takes too long after a clothesline and ends up powerslammed & Torture Racked at (3:12).

Rating: * (another super quick one, kept centered by a basic headlock spot, showing that Lex at least knows how counter-wrestling works)